Arms
by Kat0507
Summary: AU:  Both driven by their careers, Haley and Nathan use each other to advance professionally and achieve their life-long dreams.  When they begin to fall in love, they have to choose between their relationship and career because they can't have both.
1. Chapter 1

Arms

**Disclaimer #1**: Characters, minor plot points and dialogue belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and _One Tree Hill_ writers.

**Disclaimer #2**: Although my career is in the field of psychology, I have taken a lot of liberties with my story. My background is nothing like Haley's in this story. Her story only has _a little_ basis in reality. I know many people in that field who have given me inspiration for details here and there, but this situation is entirely fictional. Please don't take what you read as fact, especially when it comes to the research discussed and ethics of practicing psychology. As with all my stories, you have to use the suspension of disbelief, just as you do with our favorite tv show. The examples in this story are merely for plot purposes. If you do have questions or concerns about the psychological elements of the story, please feel free to pm. I'd love to discuss!

**Summary**: AU: Both driven by their careers, Haley and Nathan use each other to advance professionally and achieve their life-long dreams. When they begin to fall in love, they have to choose between their relationship and career because they _can't _have both.

**Rated M: **M rating is for language and mature adult psychological and sexual themes addressed in this story.

Chapter 1: "Use Somebody" (Kings of Leon)

"This fucking sucks," Nathan snarled. "I can't do that!" He stood up from the stool he'd been sitting on and gave it a hard shove towards the island counter. It banged into the counter, wobbled and fell down, creating a loud crashing noise.

"That is the kind of shit that got you into this mess," Clay pointed out.

Lucas walked into the kitchen and looked at the stool on the floor. "What the hell happened?"

"I'll tell you what happened!" Nathan yelled. "The Lakers want me to go to anger management before I report for tryouts!"

"Imagine that," Lucas said wryly.

"Fuck you," Nathan shot out. He turned to Clay. "Are you sure there's nothing you can do? Can't they see I'm back on track? What the hell do I have to do prove myself to them! I've been playing for the D-League for two years and I've got the leading stats in-"

"Eight consecutive weeks of anger management with licensed psychologist," Clay interrupted him. "Look it's not a big deal, Nate. Just eight sessions….eight hours and your home free."

"But why? Do they really think I didn't learn my lesson?"

"They're trying to protect their investment." Clay paused, as if mulling over his next thought. He flinched as he waited for Nathan's predictable response. "You can't blame them. Although your stats are amazing, you've had your fair share of technical fouls, referee ejections- "

Nathan slammed his fist on the counter.

Lucas picked up the stool and glared at Nathan. "Cut that shit out! Do you have any idea how lucky you are? You are about to play for the N.B.A.!"

"It's just tryouts, Luke. Who's to say I'd even make the team?"

"Nate," Clay said standing up, "as your agent, I'm telling you they're interested. That's why I'm here. They're pulling you up as long as you get through the tryouts. That's why they want you to get help. They want you. They just don't want all your anger. This latest debacle-"

"That bar fight was not my fault!—"

"Everyone knows the story, Nate," Lucas said. "You were both throwing punches. The only thing that matters is that _you_ nearly ruined your hand."

"I can't go see some shrink. My parents tried to do that once before their divorce. It was horrible. I can't do it."

"You know, it's a wonder you've never been in therapy," Lucas said with a heavy sigh. "You've been through a lot. We all have."

Nathan examined his brother closely. "You've gone?"

Lucas shrugged. "Yeah, man. After Keith died…I had to. So did my mom. It's nothing to be ashamed about. It helped."

"I can't go back to that place, Luke. The past is the past. I just want to move forward."

"I might be able to help," Lucas said slowly.

"Yeah?" Nathan asked hopefully. "I'll take anything. I trust you, Luke."

"Haley. She got her Master's and now she's in a PhD program at Stanford and doing some type of internship close to where you live—"

"Is she a licensed psychologist?" Clay asked. "That's one of the requirements. And they want him to keep this private. No group programs; only something legit with confidentiality."

"I think she's working under a licensed psychologist, but I can check. I know she's in the clinical part of her program. She has her own patients now—"

"That's perfect!" Nathan said excitedly. "She can just sign off for me!"

"Oh, no," Lucas laughed. "You haven't met Haley. She's not like that."

Nathan rolled his eyes. "That's right. She's Saint Haley, I forgot."

"Have you met her?" Clay questioned Nathan.

"No, I've just heard about her for years. She's Lucas' best friend. It's funny how we never met, huh?" Nathan slowly began to grin. "I haven't met her, she hasn't met me! She won't be able to resist my charm! I can get her to do it."

"Whoa," Lucas said patting Nathan on the back. "She knows you. She went to Tree Hill High for two years before she moved to Texas. She remembers you very clearly, if you catch my drift."

Nathan sighed heavily. "When exactly did she move out of North Carolina?"

"Right around the time you kidnapped me and left me in the swamp," Lucas answered snidely.

"You did what?" Clay asked with wide-eyes looking at the brothers. "Was that a joke?"

Lucas remained silent forcing Nathan to explain. "We weren't exactly brothers then; not real ones anyway." He turned to Lucas. "She must know how we got close when we started playing together, right? And you went to Stanford with her so she knows we're still tight. She has to know I'm not that same guy I was then."

Lucas shrugged. "Let's just say that Hales is still _not a fan_."

"Whatever," Nathan said dismissively. "I can win her over."

Lucas laughed. "I'd love to see you try, little brother."

* * *

><p>Haley gestured proudly to her office. "Go in, Luke! Check it out!"<p>

She watched from the door as Lucas walked around her office. He looked impressed, especially as he took in the view of the beach off in the distance. The rest of the office had a desk at the far back and a comfortable sitting area consisting of a leather couch and chair over by the windows. Haley did her clerical work over by her desk, but used the sitting area for meeting with her patients.

"This is amazing, Hales. It's pretty big, too. Are you sure this is just an internship?"

"Well, I've been here over a year, but since I was accepted to be part of this major study by Stanford, they had to give me my own office. I needed a place to meet with my own patients and do to the Stanford work."

Haley took a seat in her chair and Lucas sat on the couch. "So, how does it all work?" Lucas asked curiously.

"You know I'm not a fan of the research part of my PhD program, but I need to have something published to finish out the program and this opportunity came along and it's pretty damn near perfect for me. It even pays me a little. My supervising professor at Stanford, you might remember her-Dr. Green—she got a five-year grant to study the linguistic patterns of children with severe autism—"

"Really? Autism? That's right up your alley!" Lucas exclaimed.

"I know. I actually worked with her on it, going back to my undergrad. Anyway, she got the grant and asked me to be a part of it. We're collaborating with this practice, Muller and Rimkus Associates. They let me work here at their practice, but I also have to put in hours with their patients, which I have to do anyway for my degree. I need over 1,500 hours before I can get my PhD, then another 1,500 to apply for my state license. It's a win-win for me. The patients they give to me aren't the kind of patients I'd ideally like to work with, but what can you do? You have to start somewhere."

"What kind of patients are they?"

"They're the kind that are forced to come to therapy," Haley said disappointedly. "Most of them are ordered to by the courts for things like anger management or family counseling. They totally don't want to be here and it's like pulling teeth sometimes."

Lucas sat back and nodded as if understanding. "So, uh, anger management, huh? You see those kinds of patient?"

"They suck," Haley said disgustedly. "The worst. Don't get me wrong-I try to help them, but that's not why they're here. No one wants to deal with them, but every practice has to take on some patients to make some money. Everyone here fights over who gets them. Just like me, all the doctors have their area of expertise and interest and so normally they just divvy up these kinds of patients, but now that I'm here…"

"You get them all," Lucas finished.

"Dr. Rimkus is my supervising practitioner. She makes me do all her grunt work! She gives my all the patients she has no interest in, but it's fine since I'm working under her license. It's just not fun. I really wish I could help them, but most of them don't think they need help. They just come because they have to. So, I just talk to them and help them put in their time and hope I did a little good." Haley's face began to light up as she continued. "It's my work with the autistic children that I love."

"Tell me about it."

"We noticed that some autistic children with siblings seem to have a better grasp with verbal communication. Then, we saw a difference with the way autistic children communicate with each other. In the grant, we proposed that if we could better understand how this happens, we could facilitate it on our own."

"How are you involved?"

"We're spending a year doing a baseline study on all of our subjects so we can accurately measure their progress over this five year period. Right now, I'm working with two children. I spend two hours a week observing and interacting with them. We have lots of other research assistants doing the same thing, but I have the most severe cases. Eventually, we plan to have all our subjects in a group setting and watch them interact with each other. The last phase is testing out exercises to help them communicate more effectively with verbal language."

"Hales, how exactly did this grant get started?" Lucas asked skeptically.

"I told you I had a part in it," Haley said sheepishly.

Lucas straightened up. "It sounds like a _big_ part."

"I care about it," Haley said biting her lip. "It's important to me. I just want to make a difference, you know?"

"I know," Lucas said solemnly.

Haley watched as Lucas shifted comfortably. She knew he understood her particular interest in this study. Over the years, Haley had many emotional conversations with him when she needed his support. He was acting too odd to be shaken up by this topic of conversation. There had to be something else on his mind. "Luke, you're doing that thing you do."

"What?"

"Brooding. I know you didn't come here just to see where I work. What's up?"

"Maybe I did want to see this. It is where you spend all your time these days. Do you ever go out?"

Haley sighed. She was so sick of everyone's concern for her social life. This was her life and she loved it. Was it really so bad that she put her career above everything else? What was wrong with wanting more out of life than a family and children? So, she didn't conform to the typical stereotype of a female obsessed with finding a guy. One thing was sure—that wasn't about to change anytime soon. She couldn't ever see putting a guy ahead of her work. It was just too important and she had worked too hard. She was one only ten people admitted into Stanford's prestigious Masters/PhD program and she had just finished up the bulk of her coursework. Now, she was just getting out of the classroom and into the heart of the program and her passion. It was the most exciting time of her life. "Luke, get to the point."

"You caught me," Lucas said guiltily. "I have a favor to ask."

"Go ahead."

"I feel kind of bad now," Lucas admitted.

"Don't, Luke. You've been my best friend since we were eight. I know we don't get to see each other as much as we should anymore, but you're still my go-to person. Let me be that person for you again."

"You might want to reconsider," Lucas cautioned her. "The favor is for my brother."

"Nathan? How could I possibly help him?" Haley asked honestly.

"Anger management."

Haley's blood pressure began to rise at the prospect of seriously helping Nathan. It quickly went back down as she realized it was impossible. "I can't, Luke. It's unethical. He's my best friend's brother."

"But you haven't met him; not officially anyway," Lucas countered.

"But I know his history. I'm being serious, Luke. He can't be my patient. It's against our ethical code."

"But he could see someone else here, right?"

"Luke," Haley whined, "why? Why is he bothering to do this?"

"Maybe he wants help," Lucas said slightly defensively.

Haley shook her head. "I have a hard time believing that."

"I never knew you could be so judgmental."

"Luke!"

"You've never even talked to him!"

"I don't have to! I saw how he treated you in high school!"

"I got over it and so should you! Haley, I know you weren't around, so you have no idea what Dan is like."

"I know he shot Keith," Haley said quietly.

Lucas' face fell at the mention of his uncle's name. "Yeah, he did and you know how that affected me. How do you think that affected Nate? It was his father—the one he was _raised by_-and his uncle too."

"I'm sorry," Haley said her eyes welling with tears. He was right. How could she be so cold when her job was to try and help people in situations like these? She was being a hypocrite. "I'll, uh, get him an appointment with Dr. Muller."

"Thanks," Lucas said gratefully.

Haley gave him a meek smile. "That's what best friends are for, right?"

"That's right, but this is for him, too. Nathan could use someone like you in his corner." Lucas paused then gave her a coy smile. "Maybe you could use someone like him, too."

Haley tried her best to hide her discomfort with that statement. She wasn't about to ask Lucas to elaborate. She was afraid to hear what he might say.

* * *

><p>Standing in the lobby, Nathan pressed the button for the elevator and saw it was on the twenty-third floor. As he watched, he saw it was stopping on every floor on its way down. Figuring he had a wait, he walked over to the directory. He tried to see what other offices were located his fifteenth floor. Even though he had tried to dress indiscriminately, he was still a little paranoid someone might see him. After looking at all of the entries, he saw that besides Muller and Rimkus Associates Counseling, there was only one other office; Healthy Minds Psychotherapy and Mental Health. Great. Between those two options, anyone who knew the building and saw him get off on that floor would know he was a nut job.<p>

At least he was alone. That quickly changed as a young woman came flying in the front doors of the lobby. She was wearing an orange sleeveless dress and pair of high heels with a sweater draped over her arm, a coffee in one hand and a purse in the other. Her honey blonde hair was pulled up neatly in a bun. It was that intense look on her face that kept his eyes glued to her. She looked like she was on a mission as she held her up high and kept her focus on the elevator. Nathan was about to take a gander himself to see the progress the elevator was making, when the young woman began to stumble. She was able to keep her balance, but a good portion of her coffee splashed all over her sweater, arm and the floor.

Nathan, who was also clutching a coffee and a brown paper bag, fished out a few napkins and turned to offer them to the woman. Both of them looked over as the elevator door beeped and opened up.

The woman quickly threw her coffee in the garbage can, splashing a few drops on Nathan and sprinted into the elevator.

Nathan recovered quickly from his shock of nearly being left behind at an elevator he was clearly waiting for and had been the one to push the button for. He shoved his hand inside the elevator just before the doors closed. As the doors opened back up, he tried to give the lady a nasty look, but she now had her eyes squarely focused on the floor buttons. To make it worse, she didn't offer to push the button for his floor, even though she was planted firmly in front of them.

He glanced at the buttons and saw the number fifteen lit up. His initial inclination was that she worked at one of the offices there, but after that little scene, he was beginning to suspect she was going there to seek her own services. "At least I'm not the only crazy one," he muttered.

"Excuse me?" Haley asked continuing to stare straight ahead. She wasn't sure what the guy with baseball cap, short-sleeve shirt and jeans had said, but it sounded like an insult. The door opened up at the second floor to an empty hallway. Haley stomped her foot and cursed. In burst of frustration, she hit the button for the fifteenth floor repeatedly. "Not again! This elevator sucks!"

"Yeah, that'll make it go quicker," Nathan joked. The lady ignored him, pulled out her cellphone, swore and shoved it back in her purse. He quickly realized his first assumption was right. She had to work here. It made sense. She was sort of dressed professionally. Her dress was little on the tight side, showing off her fine ass, but he didn't mind that. He tried to peek over her shoulder to get a look at her front side. He could see just a hint of cleavage from her v-neck. Still, she was carrying a sweater. In his estimation, she was type who was too nervous to show that off and was planning on covering herself up. He went back to admiring her ass. Yeah, she had some sexy curves. A smile spread over his face, just they hit the third floor.

Haley turned around, figuring she owed it to the guy to explain to him how their lousy elevator was intermittently broken and sometimes like to stop on every floor. Her eyes widen as she caught him blatantly staring at her ass. She turned back around, determined not to let him see her reddened face. She chastised herself for wearing this revealing outfit. Why had she even bothered? She should have stuck to her normal business suits or slacks and blouses. Deep down, she knew why she chose this outfit. It was stupid. She had no reason to impress someone like him. It shouldn't matter to her at all.

Nathan leaned down and whispered in her ear, starling her. "I'm Nathan….And you are…?"

"Not interested," Haley spat out. In a flash, his words sunk in. She slowly turned around. For the first time in her life, she saw Nathan Scott's searing blue eyes and giant smirk directed right at her. She flinched as her heart skipped a beat. She jerked back around and tried to regain her composure.

"Right," Nathan snickered. He knew he had the girl flustered. Even his incognito appearance couldn't hide his good looks. "So, you're not going to tell me your name? It's going to be long ride up." The doors opened up on the fourth floor. By now, he caught on to the elevator's routine. "Eleven more floors to go."

"I know you," Haley said, determined not to turn around.

Nathan's heart dropped. This was not good. He had to be sure this lady didn't have a big mouth. He began to mull this over how he could use the fact that she was a basketball fan to his advantage as they hit they hit the next two floors. "So you're a fan, huh? Blue Devils? Or did you just see on tv how I killed it in the NCAA championship? Or maybe you know the Lakers are pulling me up from the D-Fenders!"

Haley ignored him as she thought about how to respond. He clearly didn't understand how she knew him.

Now, she was back to ignoring him? Nathan was puzzled by this woman's enigmatic behavior. For some reason, and it just wasn't that she might sell him out, he couldn't let this go. He couldn't peg her and it was driving him crazy. "I'm kind of a big deal, you know."

Despite herself, Haley emitted a soft chuckle. She turned halfway around. "You're quoting Ron Burgundy now?"

Nathan smiled. This chick was alright if she knew that movie. He decided to kick it up a notch. "Got any better pick up lines? I'd love to hear them."

Haley balked. So, he really didn't know who she was…and he was trying to pick her up? Not what she expected. At first she was flattered, then she thought about how everything always seemed to be a game to him. He couldn't be serious. He couldn't possibly be hitting on her. She was so not his type. After all, they had spent two years in high school together and he never noticed someone like her back then. She hadn't changed much.

Then again, there was that one other near encounter in college. They didn't end up meeting directly that time either. Was it a misunderstanding like Luke said? Or had he really stood her up? Was she wrong about him? Or was he the same Nathan Scott she remembered; always having an angle with the ladies, just like his father with his ulterior motives and his uncontrollable temper.

The elevator opened and shut at the twelfth floor. Then, the lights and air conditioning went off and it stopped completely. Yes, this was another common malfunction of this elevator. If she hadn't worn those damn heels today, she would have taken the stairs. Then again, if that asshole with the fancy sports car hadn't parked in her reserved spot, she would have been in her office by now. She slid to the back of the elevator and rested against the back of it and closed her eyes.

This really was all Nathan's fault. She was rushing in early to meet him so she could properly introduce herself and get him set up with Dr. Muller. If she was being honest, she had worn those heels because of him. She knew he was tall and she didn't want his height giving him an unfair advantage of her. Then, there were all the outfit changes. She spent far too much time fretting over her appearance this morning—his fault again. While she was at it, she was content to somehow blame him for triggering these elevator problems.

Haley felt Nathan's body move next to hers. His husky voice rang out in her right ear. "Did you do this on purpose? Just so you could be alone with me?"

There was the answer to her question. His cockiness was astounding. To her, he seemed like the same, old Nathan Scott she knew from high school. He hadn't changed one bit. Well, if that was the case, there was no need for him to find out whom she was just yet. Once he did, she was certain his behavior toward her would change. She wasn't sure how, but it would. When she was that nerd in high school, she wasn't worth his time. Would that be different if she was a complete stranger? According to her experience, the elevator would be out of service for ten minutes at a max, then start back up. So, for the next ten minutes, she was going to try and use her psychological skills to try and get a handle on Nathan Scott. If nothing else, she could use the practice. She put aside her personal feeling and insecurities and brought forth her science background. She opened her eyes and smiled brightly at him.

Nathan returned her smile. She was totally into him. This was just too easy. He prepared charm the hell out of her. It would be a great warm up before he had to deal with the infamous Haley James, who the last stumbling block to securing his spot as a professional NBA athlete. That girl had no idea what she was in for. If she was anything like this chick, she would be putty in his hands.

* * *

><p>Preview of next chapter: "Science &amp; Faith" (The Script)<p>

AN: The chapters for this story are pretty short but the updates should be frequent. Next chapter is ready to go. I'd love to know what you think and any questions you have. Thanks for reading and giving this a shot!


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer #1**: Characters, minor plot points and dialogue belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and _One Tree Hill_ writers.

**Disclaimer #2**: Although my career is in the field of psychology, I have taken a lot of liberties with my story. My background is nothing like Haley's in this story. Her story only has _a little_ basis in reality. I know many people in that field who have given me inspiration for details here and there, but this situation is entirely fictional. Please don't take what you read as fact, especially when it comes to the research discussed and ethics of practicing psychology. As with all my stories, you have to use the suspension of disbelief, just as you do with our favorite tv show. The examples in this story are merely for plot purposes. If you do have questions or concerns about the psychological elements of the story, please feel free to pm. I'd love to discuss!

Chapter 2: "Science & Faith" (The Script)

Haley threw her purse and sweater down and gingerly took a seat on the elevator floor. She stretched out her legs and gave a loud, dramatic sigh.

Nathan looked at Haley with a sense of hesitation. He wasn't sure if it would be too forward if he joined her. He hesitated a moment as he held onto to his coffee and bag. Haley patted to the spot next to her and then held up her hands offering to take his goods. They shared a smile as he handed her his coffee and bag. Yup, she definitely was warming up to him. Given enough time, he was sure he could win her over. Hell, he'd even be up for hooking up right then and there in this elevator if the opportunity presented itself. She was that inciting.

Haley was caught a little off-guard as Nathan planted himself right up against her so shoulders were touching. She couldn't help but give him an awkward look as she handed him his coffee.

"Thanks." Nathan took a drink of his coffee and arched his eyebrow at Haley. She looked a little nervous. "You claustrophobic?"

"You mean the anxiety disorder characterized by the irrational fear of being closed in with no escape?" Haley asked automatically.

"Yes," Nathan laughed. She sounded like she was reciting the definition from a dictionary.

"I wasn't sure you knew what it meant," Haley said defensively.

"I'm not a dumb jock."

Haley looked at him curiously. "Is that what you're worried about people thinking about you?"

"What?" Nathan asked taken aback. He tugged at his t-shirt as he felt his body heating it up. It was starting to get hot in there.

"You seem nervous. Maybe you're the one who's claustrophobic."

"I'm not," Nathan insisted. He moved around trying to get more comfortable and accidently brushed his finger on her leg. Haley jumped as if touched by a bolt of electricity. "Sorry," he apologized.

"Keep your hands to yourself!" Haley said trying to hide her embarrassment.

"I barely touched you!" Nathan was trying real hard to not let her get to him, but she was on high alert, watching his every move. He felt like he was under a microscope. It was supposed to be the other way around. He wanted to be one to make her squirm.

Haley couldn't deny it was only the slightest touch of flesh to flesh. She watched as he continued to fidget. "Are you sure you're not—"

Nathan had enough of this. "You're the one nervous and trying to hide it. I must have you all worked up."

"You're projecting," Haley stated simply. "You know what that is?" She absentmindedly began to look inside the bag she was holding.

"Yes, I know what that is," Nathan lied. He had never heard of that before in his life. He set his coffee down and reached over and grabbed his bag from her. He pulled out a box of Cracker Jacks and punched a hole in the side of the box.

Haley snickered as she watched him with amusement. He reminded her of a little boy.

Nathan poured out a handful and popped it into his mouth. "What? Breakfast of champions." He offered her some.

Haley shook her head.

Nathan shrugged and poured out some more. A small paper wrapped package came out. He tore it open and pulled out a multi-colored plastic bracelet. He smirked and handed it to Haley. "Here. It's for you. Don't say I never gave you anything."

Haley reluctantly took it. "You assume because I'm a girl I'd want a piece of jewelry?"

"Now who's projecting?" Nathan shot back.

Haley stifled her smile. He didn't quite have the concept right, but it was close enough. She decided it was time to try and dig in a bit deeper into his psyche.

"So, you play basketball…How's that going?"

"You never answered my question. How do you know me?" He nodded and kept his smirk plastered on his face. "Tell me….What impressed you more? When I had the winning shot at the NCAA Championship? Or did you see me break the record—"

Haley couldn't listen to him bragging about his career; not when she knew better. "I don't care how many touchdowns you scored how many freeshots you've made," she said unimpressed.

Nathan laughed at her. She definitely wasn't a basketball fan.

Haley immediately knew she had made some serious sports blunder. "I don't follow sports that much," she was forced to admit.

"No kidding. But you must know how the Lakers are after me, right? Or you've seen a D-Fender's game?"

"I heard about that bar fight you were in," Haley said. Out of the corner of her eye she tried to gauge his reaction. He squeezed the Cracker Jack box so hard it flattened.

"Don't believe everything you hear," Nathan gritted out. He looked over at her and saw her looking at him with her big, brown eyes. His heart began to race. He hated how of all the things to know about him, this was the thing she knew.

"You can learn to control your emotions, you know, including your anger," Haley said casually. "So things like that don't happen again."

Nathan anxiety began to grow. This was not a conversation he wanted to have, especially in a confining place like this. He had to distract her and fast. He began analyzing her. He looked her up and down. It was starting to get extremely hot in there and the corners of her face were slightly damp. He saw a few pieces of her hair straggling from her otherwise tightly knit bun. Her heels were hanging off her toes and she was breathing heavily.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Haley asked with wide eyes. For a second, she thought he might know who she was. Then she noticed a trace of lust in his eyes, which convinced her otherwise. If he knew who she was, and remembered her from high school, he'd have no interest in her like that.

"Am I making you nervous?" Nathan asked suggestively.

"No. It's all about how you think. You can change your emotions with your thought processes."

Nathan shook his head unconvinced. "Not always."

Haley nodded her head trying to convince him. "It's true."

"Oh, come on. You mean to tell me you think you can control how you feel when I do something like this." Nathan gave her his sexiest look reached over and slowly brushed some strands of her hair off her face.

At first, Haley was mesmerized by that look and his touch. She quickly recovered by smacking his hand away. "Don't touch me!"

Nathan snickered. He eyed her chest as it heaved up and down. "You know you like it. I can practically hear how fast your heart is beating."

Haley's heart was thumping loudly. "That's a just a physiological response caused by a flux of pheromones."

"Hormones?" Nathan asked with puzzlement.

"Pheromones," Haley repeated with irritation. "It means nothing!"

"Keep telling yourself that, baby. It's more than that and you know it."

"It really isn't," Haley said assuredly.

"You're attracted to me. You're just used to keeping everything all bottled up inside. Loosen up a bit and let your emotions go."

Haley hated being told that. She tried to restrain herself, but knew she was fighting a losing battle. Her mind was racing with all the things she wanted to say to him. When he issued her that smirk again, she lost it.

Nathan knew he was getting her going and he loved it. It was just spurring him on even more. "You want me so bad but you just won't admit it. You're fighting it so hard. It's that simple."

"Oh, yeah? You're projecting again and I can prove it!"

"Go ahead," Nathan challenged her.

"Yeah?" Haley asked her heat beating wildly.

"Yeah." He interest was seriously peaked as he wondered what she had in mind.

Haley shifted to her knees. She pushed her body up against the side of him. Her breasts where brushed up against his arm. She moved her face closed to his and let her lips hover just below his ear. "You're a male and I'm a female and you let your emotions control you." She put one hand on each of his shoulders. "So when I get close to you like this, your body responds. You can't even help it, can you?"

Nathan didn't even care that he had to admit she was right. He was very excited about the direction her little experiment was headed. "Un-uh."

Haley slid her left hand down his shoulder and chest. She let it linger right at the bottom of his shirt, just above the rim of his jeans. "Is your body responding to this?"

Nathan felt his pants constrict. He nodded. "One part in particular."

"Because it's _you _that wants _me_," Haley said with smile.

Nathan swallowed hard and nodded.

"And you're keeping all of your emotions bottled up inside right now, but they're about to explode," Haley said breathily.

"Fuck yeah," Nathan blurted out as his member grew harder.

Haley's eyes fell upon the bulge in his pants and gave him a satisfied smile. "So predictable."

Haley pushed off of him, and reclaimed her seat next to him. She wiped her palms against each other giving herself congratulations. "See, I told you. I can resist you with no problem. You're a guy and you just want any female you can get your hands on—"

"Not any female. Just you." Nathan startled her as he began to creep toward her. He had no idea what he had gotten into him. He was really coming on strong, even for him.

Haley was terrified by what would happen if he touched her again. If this were any other person, she might be seriously creeped out by being pursed like this by a stranger. Then again, she led him on in.

The scary part of this was that it wasn't a stranger; it was Nathan Scott. She didn't know him, but she did; a true conundrum. She knew his full personal history, at least second-hand. Now after meeting him, she found herself wanting to help him in some way. She backed away from him until she hit the corner of the elevator. "See. You're doing it. You're letting your emotions control you."

"Tell me to stop and I will." Nathan leaned in, getting ready to kiss her. "You can't. It's not all science."

Haley panicked. She would do anything to get him to stop but couldn't bring herself to say it. Instead, she blurted out the first thing that came to mind. "Why are you so angry?"

Her question hit him dead on. Nathan glared at her as he backed away. She had some nerve bringing their conversation back to his bar fight in an effort to distract him. "Why are so uptight?" He asked without hesitation.

Haley winced. She couldn't deny it struck home. It wasn't the first time she was described that way. She reminded herself that _she _was the one studying to be psychologist. She had over six years training in the field! "What do you know?" She scoffed.

He looked down at her shoes. "For starters, you don't normally wear heels. I could tell just by the way you were trying to walk in them." He moved his eyes up the length of her bare legs approvingly. "And you're dressed up, probably more than usual." He looked at the sweater lying next to her. "But you brought that sweater, so you're probably self-conscious." He eyed her chest. "Not that you should be," he winked, "and your hair is all done up. I bet it looks better down. What does your boyfriend think?"

Haley's face was flushed red. She was nearly shaking with anger. A few beads of sweat dripped down the side of her face. "You're just trying to find out if I have a boyfriend," she finally huffed out.

"Oh, no. _I know_ you must have one. You dressed up pretty nice for someone today. I bet you have a hot date with him later tonight." Nathan nudged up against her. "Am I right? Is that why you're trying so hard to resist me?"

Haley continued to feel a wide array of emotions; flattered, disgusted, excited, disappointed, but mostly nervous and flustered. How did he know who to get to her like that? She had to turn the tables on him and she had a fair idea how to do that. "How about you? I bet you have a supermodel girlfriend."

Nathan wiped his sweaty palms on his jeans. It was as if she knew about Rachel. He kept his eyes on his feet, unable to meet her eyes. He had a suspicion if those big brown eyes met his, they would unravel the knots of emotions buried deep down inside of him. "Nope. I'm as single as can be."

Haley had her own interpretation of that comment. He was a typical guy; a complete ladies' man. "Ha! Too many girls to keep track of?"

Nathan tried to keep his cool. This girl was clearly overanalyzing everything she said. Typical female. He knew how to shut her up fast. "Nope. I don't even have a fuck-buddy right now." He looked and her smirked. "You do know what that is, don't you?"

Haley fell silent as she tried to fight off the burning in on her cheeks. "That's disgusting."

"Figures, you've never had one."

"I haven't and I'm proud of that! The way you treat women is degrading—"

Again, she was talking as if she personally knew him. "The way I treat women? It's a two-way street. Girls are just as bad as guys, trust me."

Haley started feeling slightly guilty for indirectly bringing up Rachel. She had never met her, but from she heard, she had done a number on Nathan over the years. "Not all girls are like that."

Nathan wasn't very touched by the softness in her tone. He was done being judged by people who didn't even give him a fair shot. It was the story of his life. "You can't even see what's around you. You clearly work at one of those psycho places and then you put on your blinders and think you psychoanalyze someone in two minutes—"

"I do not! That's what you did with me!"

"You're a science person, right? Well, I had specific examples to back up my points. They were grounded in fact instead of the all the speculations you've got running through your head." He could tell from the look on her face he was getting through to her. Hell, she even looked impressed. "Want another one? You came flying in the building like the world was on fire. You didn't even care there was someone else there! I can't believe you weren't going to let me on the elevator after I was offering to help you—"

"I was distracted because I was running late! Some asshole with a red sports car parked in my spot! It clearly said it was for employees of Muller and Rimkus!"

Nathan looked away guiltily.

"That's okay," Haley chuckled. "I got him good. I blocked him in! And I'll be working until at least 8 p.m. tonight. Good luck to him when he wants to leave!"

Things starting clicking in Nathan's head. How the hell did he not pick up on this earlier? He'd gotten so caught up in her and their banter, that'd he missed all the clues. He looked at her dead on with his blazing blue eyes.

Haley knew what that look meant. She checked the time on the phone in her purse. Twelve minutes had passed. The elevator should have been moving by now. She stood up and began to look around nervously.

Nathan stood up, still starting at her, his eyes burning a hole in her back. "You're Haley."

Haley didn't respond to that. "It should be going by now."

Nathan contemplated his next move. In his estimation, she had knowingly led him on. He had tried to be kind to her and she'd manipulated him. What kind of mind games was she playing? "You don't know me at all," Nathan said icily. "You think you do, but you don't."

"And you don't know me," Haley shot back.

Nathan thought over their interactions carefully. She had to be attracted to him. She'd definitely responded to the chemistry between them. She had to be playing hard to get. He could deal with that.

The elevator lights came back on and it began moving.

"Thank God!" Haley exclaimed. She turned slightly back. Nathan still looked seriously pissed off.

"So, I finally get to meet Doctor Haley James," Nathan said slowly. "We'll be spending the next eight weeks getting to know each other."

"I don't know what Lucas told you, but I'm not a doctor. Not yet anyway. And I won't be treating you. It's unethical."

The elevator door opened for the fifteenth floor. Haley turned around to face him.

"Know what Lucas didn't tell me?" Nathan asked with a broad smile. "He didn't tell me how you had such a nice ass."

Haley was speechless. She stormed off the elevator and walked as fast as she could toward the office. She flew inside, leaving the door to slam behind her.

Nathan congratulated himself on winning this round. He had to admit, in the end, this was going to fun. She was definitely a challenge and he welcomed it. She tried to get inside his head, but in the end, he had been able to rattle her. Now that he knew who she was, he could just ramp it up even more.

As he headed towards the office, he set the bar for himself high. Somehow, he'd see to it that she was the one treating him and during that time, he'd put on a real good show for her. Eight weeks of sessions with her. He'd break her by then. His goal became to sleep with her by week five. Just once. He had to have her once. That chemistry between them demanded it. He bet she was good in bed, too; one of the girls that got crazy one she loosened up. Maybe twice would be better. Then, that would have to be it. She was his brother's best friend, after all. He couldn't let it go too far. He'd make sure she was up for it, and from what he could tell, she could use some of what he had to offer. Yeah, he was confident that he could get her to agree they had to get that crazy sexual energy out of their system. Somewhere along the way, he'd get to sign off on his sessions too. As he opened the door and headed into Muller and Rimkus Associates, he began to honestly look forward to his anger management therapy and it was all thanks to Haley James.

* * *

><p>Preview of next chapter: "I Don't Care" (Fall Out Boy)<p>

AN: Thanks for your responses to the first chapter! It was much appreciated and makes me want to continue! I know this chapter is short and so is the next one, but if you want long, detailed ones, you can check out my other story. I like writing snippets and posting them quickly for this one since the other one takes so long to write, edit, check my story maps, etc.. This one is all fun! I do have a solid map going though, so don't fret. The story does have a concrete point and theme. In the next chapter, you will find out just how important Haley's career is to her.

Hope you enjoy. There's a lot more depth coming, secrets to be revealed and plot twists and turns, but I'd love to know your initial thoughts. Are you liking these versions of Naley?


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer #1**: Characters, minor plot points and dialogue belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and _One Tree Hill_ writers.

**Disclaimer #2**: Although my career is in the field of psychology, I have taken a lot of liberties with my story. My background is nothing like Haley's in this story. Her story only has _a little_ basis in reality. I know many people in that field who have given me inspiration for details here and there, but this situation is entirely fictional. Please don't take what you read as fact, especially when it comes to the research discussed and ethics of practicing psychology. As with all my stories, you have to use the suspension of disbelief, just as you do with our favorite tv show. The examples in this story are merely for plot purposes. If you do have questions or concerns about the psychological elements of the story, please feel free to pm. I'd love to discuss!

Chapter 3: "I Don't Care" (Fall Out Boy)

A man, who appeared to be in his early 50's with gray hair, mustache and eye glasses and wearing a business suit, came out from behind a closed door next to the reception area. "Mr. Scott?"

Nathan got up from his seat in the waiting area and met the man. They shook hands.

"Dr. Muller. Nice to meet you. Follow me into my office." Dr. Muller led him down a hallway and into a spacious office. Nathan took a seat on the couch in front of the desk.

Dr. Muller looked at some papers in the file folder on his desk. "So I see here, you are interested in eight weeks of anger management therapy." He looked at Nathan and adjusted his eye glasses. "Only eight weeks? The most effective treatment usually lasts at least twelve and even then—"

"This is all to meet the requirements set forth by the Lakers. I thought my agent faxed over their terms?"

Dr. Muller looked back at his file. He shook his head, with a dismayed look. "I see that. So, you're merely interested in meeting those requirements and nothing more?"

"I don't have a choice. They won't let me into tryouts without this and I don't have much time. In ten weeks, I have to report. If I make it on the team, then I have training. I can't commit to any more than the eight weeks."

"I understand that, but I guess what I'm more interested in is-are you truly seeking self-improvement or fulfilling a required obligation?"

Nathan thought about this. He knew the truth and the answer the doctor wanted to hear. They didn't quite match up. He hated lying, but felt maybe he could play a little with his answer. "If I had the right doctor, I'd hope she could help."

"She? I would be the one treating you, Mr. Scott."

Nathan gave the doctor the most sincere look he could conjure up. "No offence, but I have a tough time opening up with men. I do much better with females."

"Why is that?"

Nathan paused, trying to come up with the most accurate description he could give of Haley. "I'm not sure. It's only a certain kind of female I'd feel comfortable with. I don't need anyone who is going to be affected by desire to be in the N.B.A. No, I need someone who won't let me get anyway with anything and doesn't care about my career. A female who is really tough and intimidating….Someone who can put me in my place and is very intelligent. Young is good too. You know, someone I can relate to. Do you have anyone like that here?"

Dr. Muller did not look amused. "I'll set you up with my associate, Dr. Rimkus."

Nathan couldn't hide his disappointment. "Uh, what's she like?"

"She's very effective and objective. Not on the young side, but she'll do." Dr. Muller stood up. "I'll go talk to her now."

"Uh, wait," Nathan said desperately.

Dr. Muller shook his head. "Mr. Scott, I am aware that it was Ms. James who got this consultation for you. Surely, you understand you can't possibly be her patient?"

"I don't really know her," Nathan tried to said casually.

"Clearly, you do." Dr. Muller exited the room.

* * *

><p>Haley picked up her phone and shot a text message to Lucas. <em>Met your brother. He's an asshole.<em> It was a half hour after she's arrived at work and she was still fuming. She couldn't seem to let go her encounter with Nathan and it was affecting her ability to concentrate.

She'd managed not to have to see him after leaving the elevator. She just got his paperwork ready and briefed Dr. Muller over the phone. Now, as far as she was concerned, he was off her hands. She had no obligations to him, after all. This was all for Lucas. After firing off that text, she began to feel a bit better, but she was still tense. She reached up and shook her out of her bun, letting her long hair down. She ran her fingers through it a few times, letting it settle down past her shoulders.

Satisfied, Haley went back to reading over her notes for her next patient. Ten minutes later, she was interrupted by Dr. Rimkus.

Dr. Rimkus flew into her office, not even bothering to knock and threw a file on her desk. "This is your newest patient. First appointment is tomorrow at 2 p.m."

Haley stood up. "Wait! I can't do 2 p.m. That's when I meet with Matthew."

"Well, I'll send him in so you can set up a time. He's here now and anxious to get going on this—"

Haley's eyes darted to the name on the file. "I can't see him! This is my brother's best friend." She tried to hand the file back to Dr. Rimkus.

"Haley, I talked to him. He said he's never met you before today. It'll be fine. He's just one of our 'in and out' patients."

"It's unethical!"

"I don't have time for this!" Dr. Rimkus raised her voice.

"With all due respect, this is my career we're talking about," Haley said quietly. "I don't want any problems when I'm applying for my licensure."

"There won't be. They'd never catch something like this." Dr. Rimkus sat down one of the chairs by Haley's desk. "I'm not wasting my time on him. I'll even just sign off on his paperwork if I have to."

Haley was bothered by this. She didn't like hearing her mentor talk like that about a patient. "Is it really a waste of time? His brother told me he really wants help."

Dr. Rimkus leaned forward. "Haley, I remember when I started out. I was just like you. I thought I could help every person that came through my door. I thought it was my responsibility to try and do that. You've had your own patients for two months now. Haven't you seen that's not the way it works? We can only help people who want to help themselves. The people who are just here to fulfill some requirement—"

Haley held her hand up as she became confused. "He's not one of them."

"He most definitely is. He's only here for eight weeks. The Lakers made him agree to that in order for them to let him try out."

Haley felt her heart drop. Lucas hadn't told her that. She had honestly believed, even hoped Nathan's sake, he was here to deal with his issues. Still, no matter what Dr. Rimkus said, Haley still had the belief that people could be helped by therapy and attending sessions, even if they were forced to; it at least gave them some chance to deal with their problems. "We can still help him. Dr. Muller was supposed to take his case."

"He turned him over to me. I can't say no. Technically, he still is my boss since I'm just a junior partner." Dr. Rimkus gave Haley a telling look. Haley understood she was also insinuating that she was her boss and should do what she was told.

Haley bit her lip. "So you're not even going to see him? What if you get caught?"

"This happens all the time, Haley. I'm telling you this as your supervising practitioner. Welcome to the real world. We all cut corners to get where we want to go. We fudge our hours and don't always follow protocol when it's not necessary, especially with some of our less interested patients. My research is important to me. My grant is up at the end of the year and I need all my ducks lined up to get a renewal. That's where my focus is."

"But you said it's only for eight weeks. That's just eight hours, right? You can't do that? I mean, I'll type your notes if you want and do all the documentation—"

"I can not sit in room with that man for eight hours," Dr. Rimkus said testily.

Haley was confused as she tried to fight off the twinge of defensiveness she felt over Nathan. "Why? What's wrong with him?"

"He's made it clear he has no interest in participating in therapy with me. And his ego is through the roof! He thinks he's God's gift to women! He's also elitist and cocky. I can just tell he was raised with money."

Haley was starting to get upset. "Ever think maybe it's all a show? That underneath it all, he's insecure?"

Dr. Rimkus stood up. "You know psychotherapy is not my area of expertise. It really shouldn't be yours either. We can ship him down the hall if he needs that."

"I don't think he'd go." Haley now understood that the reason Lucas probably reached out to her was because Nathan was so resistant to the idea. Lucas was trusting her to help.

"So, I'm just going to sign off on his stuff since I don't have time to meet with him…" Dr. Rimkus said as if she was looking for Haley's approval.

Haley kept quiet. She just wasn't willing to comprise her personal belief that doing that was fundamentally wrong.

"Or…" Dr. Rimkus said with a glint in her eye, "you could see him. We'd record it as a case we were collaborating on. I'll put myself down as the primary counselor and you as the secondary."

"But I'd do all the work," Haley said miserably. For her hours of clinical work, she had to complete hours of observation, collaboration with her supervising practitioner and individual work with patients. She already had more than enough hours for the first two. She was just supposed to be doing her own work now under the supervision of Dr. Rimkus. She knew that no matter how the work was recorded, it would just be her. Dr. Rimkus did not seem like she was going to help at all. Haley wasn't comfortable this bending of rules.

"Haley, I want to take a second to remind you how lucky you are to have this position and for our practice to be working with the Stanford study."

This guilt trip was succeeding in having an impact Haley. She was really grateful for everything the practice was doing for her.

Dr. Rimkus continued. "I know you're out in the field doing naturalistic observation, but pretty soon, you're going to need space for your psychological testing. I was considering advocating for you to do use the room down the hall for that. This way, your subjects in the area wouldn't have to go all the way down to Stanford."

Haley watched Dr. Rimkus carefully. She felt as if she was being offered a bribe. It would be difficult for parents to have to travel to Palo Alto with their children. It would also be beneficial for their work since the wear from the car ride could serve as a hidden variable in their testing. "That would be nice," she had to admit.

"I also have been speaking with Dr. Green about your work. I've been looking over your notes on Matthew and Andrew. You have some startling insights about Matthew."

Haley was hanging on Dr. Rimkus' every word. She was heavily invested in her work with Matthew. "He's fascinating," Haley said excitedly. "I'm really getting a handle on his behavioral patterns and I think we can help him."

"If he makes it into the experimental group," Dr. Rimkus said tauntingly. "It would be a shame if he didn't."

This sounded a little like blackmail. Only the subjects in the experimental group received the proposed treatment.

"On the other hand," Dr. Rimkus said, "I was going to recommend to Dr. Green that you turn over your work with Andrew to another researcher so you could focus exclusively on Matthew. I think you should be seeing him twice a week."

Haley full-heartedly agreed this was in the best interest of the grant, Matthew, and yes, herself. She already talked about it with Dr. Green, but with Dr. Rimkus' support, she knew it would carry more merit. "I hope you follow through with that recommendation."

"I hope so, too." Dr. Rimkus headed to the door and turned back around. "What should I tell Mr. Scott?"

This was really a no-brainer. Haley tried to tell herself that her decision had some basis in professional integrity. Everyone who came to their practice had the right to their services. Nathan deserved that opportunity, even if he didn't appear to want it. She tried to convince herself that maybe she really could help him. She could be the one to finally break through that thick wall of his.

The truth was the carrot dangled in front of her by Dr. Rimkus was far too enticing to pass up. Her decision was based mostly on a selfish desire to advance her career and delve further into the passionate part of her work. "Tell him to stop by so we can figure out a better time," Haley said reluctantly.

Dr. Rimkus smiled. "Great!"

Haley rested her head in her hands as she thought about how she'd just compromised her career. Although Dr. Rimkus assured her that all psychologists cut corners, she never thought she'd be someone to do that.

"Hey, Hales!"

Haley cringed at the way Nathan was using her nickname. Her head shot up. "You can't call me that."

"Okay, Doc. I understand we have to pick a better time for tomorrow. How about five p.m., then we can hit up happy hour at the bar across the street?" Nathan grinned.

"How about eight a.m. since I have be out of here by noon time?" Haley countered.

"That's a little on the early side, don't you think?" Nathan asked. "How about nine? That way I'll have had an hour more of my beauty sleep for you."

Haley stood up, rested her weight on the palms of her hands on desk and leaned forward. "You can't say things like that! It's unprofessional!"

"We wouldn't want that, would we?" Nathan laughed. "That would go against your code of ethics. By the way, I was right. Your hair does look better down. I hope you didn't put it down just for me."

"Get out!" Haley shouted pointing towards the door.

"Actually, I need one more thing from you."

"What?" Haley snapped.

"I need you to move your car. You're blocking me in."

"Ha! You're going to have to wait—" Haley quickly saw the error in making that statement as Nathan plopped himself down on the couch.

She grabbed her keys and made a swift exit. A minute later she was standing outside the elevator willing it to move quicker. When she spotted Nathan coming her way, she made a beeline for the stairway door.

Nathan chuckled as he saw Haley running from him. She was utterly amusing and he loved getting her going. It stirred something inside of him he couldn't quite identify. He was left wondering exactly why she had taken him on as patient. It didn't make sense. She had been so stuck on her high horse about being ethical. How had that changed so quickly? It had to have been that prickly Dr. Rimkus. She was a piece of work, yet he figured out all two quickly how to motivate her. Had she in turn done the same thing to Haley? No. Haley was too good for something like that. She was the ultimate goodie two-shoes.

She could be genuinely interested in helping him. No. It couldn't be that either. She knew him from Tree Hill, back during his true bad boy days.

It had to be their mutual attraction. She was unable to fight it. He was sure of it. She also would probably never _willingly_ admit it.

Nathan stood at the elevator and pulled out his vibrating phone. "Hey."

"What did you do to her?" Lucas asked from the other end of the phone.

"Nothing…..What did she say I did?" Nathan asked curiously.

"She already hates you."

Nathan shrugged. "Hate/love…It's two sides of the same coin. I learned that in psy 101. I'd say we're off to a great start."

"She's right. You are an asshole."

"I don't care what she thinks, as long as it's about me."

* * *

><p>Preview of next chapter: "Middle of Nowhere" (Hot Hot Heat)<p>

AN: Thanks so much for your reviews! What a nice Thanksgiving treat! This chapter is so short, don't feel like you have to review. You all took care of me last time and gave me the momentum to keep going! The next chapter is their first session. I hope to post it soon. Thanks again!


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer #1**: Characters, minor plot points and dialogue belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and _One Tree Hill_ writers.

**Disclaimer #2**: Although my career is in the field of psychology, I have taken a lot of liberties with my story. My background is nothing like Haley's in this story. Her story only has _a little_ basis in reality. I know many people in that field who have given me inspiration for details here and there, but this situation is entirely fictional. Please don't take what you read as fact, especially when it comes to the research discussed and ethics of practicing psychology. As with all my stories, you have to use the suspension of disbelief, just as you do with our favorite tv show. The examples in this story are merely for plot purposes. If you do have questions or concerns about the psychological elements of the story, please feel free to pm. I'd love to discuss!

Chapter 4: "Middle of Nowhere" (Hot Hot Heat)

Haley sat at her desk reviewing all of her paperwork for her appointment with Nathan. She had hoped he would come in at 8 a.m. like she'd wanted, but she wasn't surprised when he didn't. They had left things vague so he'd clearly taken the initiative to come in at 9 a.m. instead. As the bewitching hour approached, Haley found it increasingly difficult to focus on anything besides the session. She was happy she was wearing a sleeveless top since she was starting to get sweaty; she told herself it was just another physiologically response that didn't carry any deeper meaning. She applied one final coat of deodorant and debated putting on her sweater. No, she couldn't do that. She had a point to prove. She wasn't as uptight as he believed. She was just nervous about the heading down this risky path of taking him on as her patient. That had to explain her flurry of emotions.

Haley's phone rang. "Yes, Nina?"

"Mr. Scott is here. Will you come get him or should I send him in?"

The less time with him the better. "You can send him in."

A few minutes later, Nathan appeared at her door, again wearing a t-shirt, jeans and baseball cap. He was carrying a tray with two coffees and a brown paper bag.

Haley stood up from her desk and began to walk over to meet him. She was prepared for a fresh start and wanted begin the way she did with all of her patients. She held out her hand for him to shake it.

Instead of shaking her hand, Nathan handed her a coffee. "Good morning. Here you go."

He walked around her, threw away the coffee tray in the garbage can next to her desk, then walked back around and took a seat on the couch. He set his coffee down on a table and took a muffin out from his bag and started eating it.

Haley stood there watching him trying to figure out what to do. She'd never had a patient take complete control like that. She became miffed. "You brought breakfast? Who does that?"

Nathan shrugged. "You got me up early. I had no choice…..You talk to all your patients this way or am I special?"

Haley chided herself for saying that because he was right. As she walked over to shut the door, she reminded herself that she needed to be professional; even more professional than usual. When she turned back around, she saw that Nathan had finished his muffin and was lying on the couch. He was seriously testing her patience. This was going to be one long hour. Haley hastily grabbed her notepad, folder and pen and headed to the chair in front of the couch.

As Haley took her seat, Nathan dramatically readjusted his position. "Okay. I'm ready. Let's get going."

Haley took a deep breath and put her hand to her forehead. She could already feel a headache coming on. Where was she to begin? She figured it was best to go over the basics.

"Did you bring the questionnaire that Dr. Rimkus gave you?" It was a medical form/personality test given to all patients during their consultation, but typically used to plan for future visits.

"I forgot it."

Haley wasn't fooled. She pulled out another set of forms and slid it on the table. "Here. You can do it here."

Nathan eyed the forms skeptically. "Maybe later. I don't want to waste my time with you, Doc."

"Well, once again, I'm not a doctor. I'm just studying to get my PhD—"

"Why don't you tell me about that?" Nathan asked, staring out towards the window. He knew girls loved to talk about themselves and figured this was the best way to spend his hour.

Haley had enough of his crap. "Would you just sit up, please? This is not how you do cognitive therapy."

Nathan sat up. He gave her his most sincere look. "This is my first time. I don't know what cognitive therapy is."

"Would you like me to tell you?" Haley asked with a hint of condescension.

"Yes," Nathan said mocking enthusiasm. "Please tell me how we're going to spend our time together."

"Well, the way you were laying on the couch like that—you're probably thinking of psychotherapy. The therapist sits off on the side, so the patient isn't focusing on them. Typically, the patient gets comfortable and the therapist asks deep, probing questions about your childhood, dreams and fears. It's all aimed at figuring out how your subconscious may be influencing your behavior. It's based on the ideas of Sigmund Freud. They show that a lot in movies and tv shows."

"We won't be doing that?" Nathan asked.

"No."

Nathan nodded in relief. The last thing he wanted to do was talk about his childhood. "So what will we do?"

"We have more of a conversation." Haley pulled out a sheet from her folder and looked down at it. "I do have some questions I can ask you. Most of them are standard for a first visit, but generally in cognitive therapy, you can bring up anything you like. Now, at some point, we will have to discuss solutions for dealing with your anger—"

Nathan tensed up. "I know how to deal with it."

"Okay," Haley said knowing it was best to move on. He was very defensive and wouldn't be receptive to anything she had to say anyway. She was going to have to ease him into this. "That's great. There are some strategies I can share with you that seem to work for other people. I'd like to tell you about them…and you can decide if they work for you."

"Whatever."

"Alright," Haley said accepting his mild concession. "So, is there any place you'd like to start? Any questions you have for me?" Usually, the first thing a patient wanted to talk about was very telling. It could be used to provide a framework for their sessions. She was anxious to hear what he would come up with.

"Why didn't you wear a dress today?" Nathan asked looking her over. She was wearing a pair of black slacks and sleeveless printed top. She was still sexy, just more professionally dressed that during their first encounter. "Do you not have a date tonight? Actually, you never did tell me if you had a boyfriend."

Haley was filled with a mixture of irritation and amusement. In some ways he was like a comedian or like a class clown. He honestly couldn't be serious with these questions. "No. You don't ask questions about me. Questions," Haley began to gesture around them, "about the process."

"Oh, sorry," Nathan said trying his best not to smile. She was on to him. He was going to have to work a bit harder. His goal, after all, was not to talk about himself. Back in high school, he mastered the art of distracting his teachers back. His classmates always looked to him to get them going on a tangent. He was a little rusty, but confident he could do the same with her. "Back in the elevator, you said people could change their emotions with how they think. Can you explain that?"

Haley sat up a bit straighter. She began to speak animatedly as she went over the theory behind cognitive therapy and her background. As she talked, Nathan nodded and kept his eyes glued to her, jumping in at times to ask her to explain more and other times just agreeing with her. She went on for a good fifteen minutes explaining this to him. He began to grow complacent after a while.

"…So with anger, there are three things you can learn to do: you can express it an appropriate manner, you can suppress it temporarily, or you can redirect it."

Nathan yawned. "Redirect it?"

"Yes. You can channel it into something else…" Haley trailed off as Nathan yawned again and looked out the window. He was clearly losing interest. "Something positive….like basketball," she said lowering her voice as she watched him carefully.

Nathan nodded and looked back. "Basketball," he repeated. He hadn't listened to much of, if any, of what she'd been babbling on about. All he knew was that he repeated the last few words she'd said, he'd get her talk more.

Haley could now see what he'd been doing. Even worse, he wasn't even pretending to listen to her anymore. "Or sex," she threw out there.

Nathan's attention snapped back into focus. "Huh? What did you say?"

Haley laughed softly. "Really, Nathan. You have to give me something to go on here. You have to talk."

"I don't have anything to talk about." He grinned broadly at her. "And I like listening to you."

"I think I might like listening to you…."

"That's your job," Nathan scoffed.

"That's right. It is. And you have to talk to me if this is going to work. If not, then you really should consider seeing another therapist."

Nathan rolled his eyes. He had no comeback for that. "What do you want to know?"

"What if you told me about the fight at the bar?"

"Uh," Nathan began uneasily, "there's not really much to tell. I had too much to drink. This punk and his friends started hassling me. I tried walking away, but they came after me. Punches were thrown. We all ended up getting kicked out."

"How were they hassling you? What did they say?"

"They gave me crap about not being pulled up by the Lakers."

"Hmmm," Haley said thoughtfully. "I guess I don't understand. Why did they care?"

"It was right after the last game of the season; a game I didn't do so well in. They were there that night. They clearly had nothing else going on in their lives so they were just laying into me."

"So, you don't take any responsibility for what happened?"

Nathan shifted his position. "Not really. I was defending myself."

"What about your problems on the court?"

Nathan glared at her. "What problems?"

"Ejections. Fights with refs and other players. Wasn't there even an instance with one of your own teammates?"

Nathan slammed his hands down on the couch. "That's not fair! You only know about that from Lucas!"

Haley bit her lip nervously. He was right. "This's why it's not a good idea for me to treat you," she said quietly.

Again, she had successfully turned this back around on him. "So why are you treating me? It's not like you had to." He still had his suspicions, but knew she wouldn't cop up to them.

"I thought I could help you," Haley answered hesitantly. She hated covering up her own personal career ambitions, but had no choice.

As Haley looked at him with her serious brown eyes, he knew he had to switch things up. He just couldn't take it. She was really starting to get to him. He would rather have her mad at him than pitying him. "This is all just part of your image. You just wanted to say you tried to help me. My brother guilted you into this. You never would have done this otherwise. Stop acting like you really care so we can get through this as painlessly as possible. Or we could just throw all this out the window and continue that little experiment from the elevator."

Haley was starting to see some cracks in the façade he had going. Deep down, he really didn't think she wanted to help him. To her best knowledge, he didn't have any solid reason to think that about her. Most likely, he didn't think _anyone_ really cared enough to help. Maybe on some level he didn't think he deserved help. She ignored his little rant. "I want to help," Haley said sincerely.

"I don't need help," Nathan said looking away. "I know what my issues are and how to deal with them."

"So, tell me. What are they?"

"I'm stubborn. I have a temper. I don't always make the best decisions."

"Okay. So, how is it that you deal with those issues?"

"I need to make better decisions. It's as simple as that."

Haley disagreed. It was never that easy. If it had been, he wouldn't be in this situation, but she couldn't tell him that. She had to be a little smarter. "You know, that's actually one of the ideas behind cognitive therapy. You learn how to harness your emotions so you can think clearly enough to make better decisions."

Nathan understood what she was getting at. She thought he hadn't mastered those abilities. She was much better at her job that he'd anticipated. "Why don't we go to the questions?" He asked dryly.

"We can do that." Haley picked up her list of common questions. She began to read through them. The problem was, she knew the answers to a lot of them. She knew his family background. She knew why he was here. She even had a good sense of his personality just from the time they'd spend together in the elevator. In this session, she saw that he was very good at deflecting and shut downing when he got defensive. Lastly, she didn't want to get caught again using her prior knowledge and upset him.

Haley really knew far too much for a first session. She really should have prepared for this as a second session, but it was too late for that. Thus, she was left without a clear agenda.

Nathan could feel himself losing some ground here. Although he seriously didn't mind the challenge of Haley James, his ultimate goal was still to get that paperwork signed off. She was right. He had to give her something. "Give me your toughest question," he suggested.

Haley skimmed the list. "What do feel when you think of your parents?"

"Pass," Nathan said flatly. "Try another."

"Describe your biggest passion," Haley said with great satisfaction. She was honestly interested to hear him talk about basketball.

"You want me talk about sex?" Nathan smirked.

Haley shook her head and looked down as she laughed.

Nathan perked up. She had a great laugh and he felt good that he was the reason for it.

"No, I really don't want to hear about that," Haley finally said. She skimmed down the list again and chuckled as she saw some of the questions towards the bottom. Did any therapists actually use them? She couldn't imagine a situation where they would be appropriate.

"What?" Nathan asked curiously.

"Nothing." Haley looked up and Nathan was prodding her with his eyes. She couldn't resist. "Some of these questions are unbelievable."

Nathan's interest was piqued. "Aren't you supposed to ask me them?"

"They're just a framework."

"Tell me them."

Haley blushed as she read over the questions again.

Now, Nathan had to know what she was looking at. "Go ahead. Ask me. I want you to."

"I—I—" Haley stammered, "I can't."

"Come on. You have to. They're there for a reason." Nathan saw she wasn't budging. "Unless you're nervous?...Which I don't think you're supposed to be if you're being professional. Aren't you supposed to put the interest of your patients first? Honestly, I think you need to deal with this if you want to be a good doctor."

"Fine," Haley said eyeing him directly. If nothing else, she would love to see him squirm. "Describe your most recent sexual experience."

Nathan successfully covered his shock. "Define sexual experience."

Haley blushed again. "Sex. It's sex. You know…sex."

"I know sex," Nathan grinned. "You really want me to do that?"

Haley sighed and looked around. This had backfired and she seriously needed to get a grip. She could feel her entire body heating up as he stared her down. "No. I don't want to hear—" Haley paused as she saw just a flicker of something in his eyes. There was something there. She decided to call his bluff. "You know what?" Haley asked leaning back. "Go ahead." She poised her pen as if ready to take notes. "Tell me."

This time, Nathan had no recourse but to show his discomfort. He scratched the side of his neck and cracked his knuckles. "Yeah?"

"Yes. If you're comfortable. If you're not….well then, maybe we do need to see about getting you someone else."

Nathan took a deep breath. He would just keep the details to a minimum. He had to do that if he was going to keep control. "The last person I slept with was my ex-girlfriend. It was just before the bar fight."

Haley bit her tongue to keep from blurting out Rachel's name. From what she could tell, she had struck a nerve. She had to let him do the talking so he would still think he was in control and open up. Yet, she didn't want to pry unnecessarily. She hoped she could spin it in a slightly different direction. "Did that have anything to do with the fight?"

"No," Nathan said unconvincingly. Just by asking that question, she was starting to put thoughts into his head. He wasn't liking it one bit.

"You said ex-girlfriend. Did she break up with you?"

"Ha," Nathan muttered. He cleared his throat. "No. I broke it off a long time ago."

Haley considered this. She had to ask the next logical question, but she was dreading his answer to it. "So….did you get back together when that happened?"

"No," Nathan was forced to admit. He began to regret their conversation in the elevator. "It was just a mistake. She came back around and I was weak." As he looked at Haley, he began to see himself through her eyes. "It won't happen again," he tried to explain. "I'm done with her."

Haley nodded. She was at loss for where to go from here. For a second, he looked so vulnerable. He looked like someone who had his heart broken. Then, in a flash, he put his wall back up. She looked over at the clock. There were fifteen minutes left. She figured it was best for both of them if they ended this session. She stood up. "I'll tell you what. How about you fill out the paperwork for the last ten minutes?"

"Right," Nathan said picking up the paperwork. It had to be easier to do that than to continue down the path he'd just been traveling down.

Haley handed him a clipboard and pen. "I'll leave you alone. I'll be back in ten minutes and we'll wrap up."

As Haley left the room, he looked at the papers. The other set he had were in an unopened envelope his car. As he began to read them over, he saw he was wrong. These questions were far worse. There was no way he was giving that kind of information to Haley.

He walked over and put the clipboard on her desk. He couldn't help but take a quick look around. Behind the desk on a book shelf, he spotted some framed pictures. He went over to take a closer look. One was of Haley and two people he was sure were her parents. The background looked like the Riverwalk, in Tree Hill. He was confused because this picture wasn't that old. Hadn't she moved to Texas? Next to it was a professional school portrait of a young boy, who looked about ten. The next one was of her and Lucas in their caps and gowns after getting their undergraduate degrees. The last one was a large family portrait. There were so many people in it; husbands, wives, children…He narrowed in on Haley. He focused on the guy standing next to her with his arm over her shoulder. Was it her brother? Or a boyfriend? He couldn't deny he was dying to find out if she had one.

Nathan pushed these thoughts aside as he prepared to head out. He was certain he needed to get these sessions signed off. He wouldn't be able to deal with even one more. He was going to have to step up his game. He could pay another visit to Dr. Rimkus….No. He only wanted to do that as a last resort. Haley would kill him if she ever found out about his deal with her and he really didn't to hurt her. He could tell she really cared about her job. It really would be better for both of them to move on from this as quickly as possible.

As for the chemistry between them….He was starting to think it wasn't a good idea to explore that. The last thing he wanted was a serious relationship and he was starting to realize that was the kind of girl Haley was.

Nathan left her office and began to walk down the hall. He could hear Haley's voice ahead.

"Nina, I'm going to need you to block off Thursday's afternoons for me as well. I have a standing date with Mathew."

"Oh!" Nina exclaimed. "Two dates a week, huh?"

"Uh-huh. It's getting serious."

This exchange bothered Nathan more than he was willing to admit.

"Have you ever been the Farmer's Market downtown?" Haley asked.

Now, she was in his line of vision. She was hovering over the reception counter, absentmindedly twisting around on one foot as she spoke to the receptionist. She looked very cute and carefree as she chatted away, but she hadn't noticed him yet. Nathan started to think about it would be different to have a casual conversation with her like that.

"Is that where you got those strawberries?" Nina asked.

"Yup. Weren't they good?"

"So good. Are you going again soon?"

"Sunday. Want to come?"

"What time?"

"I was thinking around noon."

"I can't….Can you get me some?"

"Sure thing," Haley said. She looked up as she saw Nathan approaching. She tried to make eye contact, but he looked straight ahead. It looked like he was smiling. "Nathan? Did you—"

"On your desk," Nathan cut her off as he brushed past her. "I'll see you soon." Thanks to her, it would be sooner that she'd thought.

* * *

><p>The Farmer's Market was bustling with activity that Sunday afternoon. Most of the people there were tourists, but Haley didn't care. Their fruit and vegetables were so fresh, it was worth fighting her way through the crowds. The only problem was that it was hot to begin with and even more so with all the people. As Haley prepared to grab some zucchini, she pulled back her hair and fastened it into a ponytail. She stood on the tip of her toes to reach the zucchini and began sorting through the selection. She picked out two and began looking for another when she noticed there was a person hovering behind her. Knowing she was blocking their view of the veggies, she stepped aside. She froze in place as butterflies formed in her stomach. Her eyes locked with his.<p>

"Hey," Nathan said nonchalantly. "Fancy meeting you here."

* * *

><p>Preview of next chapter: "Mine" (Christina Perri)<p>

AN: For fun, take listen to the song for the preview of the next chapter. The theme matches, as do some of the lyrics, but it is the tempo that really captures Naley at this point in the story. It reminds of me of a merry-go-round.

Thanks for reading all the reviews! I do love them! They mean even more since I know you are all so busy. I hope to post another chapter this weekend.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer #1**: Characters, minor plot points and dialogue belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and _One Tree Hill_ writers.

**Disclaimer #2**: Although my career is in the field of psychology, I have taken a lot of liberties with my story. My background is nothing like Haley's in this story. Her story only has _a little_ basis in reality. I know many people in that field who have given me inspiration for details here and there, but this situation is entirely fictional. Please don't take what you read as fact, especially when it comes to the research discussed and ethics of practicing psychology. As with all my stories, you have to use the suspension of disbelief, just as you do with our favorite tv show. The examples in this story are merely for plot purposes. If you do have questions or concerns about the psychological elements of the story, please feel free to pm. I'd love to discuss!

Chapter 5: "Mine" (Christina Perri)

Nathan had spent a half hour standing by the strawberries before he spotted Haley from a distance. She was dressed casually in a pair of shorts, tank top, sandals and had a bag slung over her shoulder. As he caught up with her, his eyes once again gravitated to her ass. It looked even better in those shorts. So far, she was sexy in every style of clothing he had the pleasure of seeing her in.

"What are you doing here?" Haley asked furiously.

Nathan brushed up against her and picked up some zucchini. "Cucumbers. I needed some."

"Ha!" Haley snickered. "Those are zucchini."

"Oh," Nathan said putting them down and taking a step away. He looked around him. "Maybe you could help me find them."

Haley shook her head at him. She crossed her arms, trying not to smile. "And why is that? Are you making a salad?"

"Maybe," Nathan said slowly. "Want to help?"

"I'm all set, thanks."

They both stood there awkwardly for a minute.

Nathan began to get a little nervous as he looked down at his feet. He didn't have a concrete plan and was at loss for what to do. Normally, he didn't have this kind of problem with women. The difference was that Haley was so damn smart. She watched him like a hawk and sometimes looked like she could read his mind. It had to be that psychological training.

Haley was trying to understand what was going on. He definitely wasn't the type to be at this kind of place…and the timing….it couldn't be a coincidence. She eyed him up and down. Today he was wearing a red sleeveless shirt, black gym shorts, and sneakers. Her eyes lingered on his bulging biceps. She couldn't deny he had a nice body. In fact, he was incredibility attractive. She tried not to let herself think too much about that and went back to figuring out why he was there. She decided not to waste either of their time and to be blunt. "Did you know I was going to here?"

"Don't flatter yourself," Nathan said quickly.

Insulted, Haley turned on her heels and began walking away.

Nathan followed her. "Hey! Wait!"

Haley only stopped because she reached the strawberries. She ignored Nathan as she looked them over.

"Since we're both here, maybe we could talk?"

"We can talk on Tuesday." Haley picked out two containers of strawberries.

Nathan could tell she was getting ready to leave. "I hear the strawberries are good here," he said with a hint of desperation.

Haley's face flushed with realization. "You did know I was coming here! You heard me tell Nina!"

"I—I was out for a run," Nathan began to explain pointing toward his sneakers. He gave up once he saw she wasn't buying it.

"I need to pay for these." She headed towards the cashier. As she paid, she saw Nathan wasn't behind her. She knew she should be grateful for that, but in truth, she was slightly disappointed. Having Nathan around was kind of exciting.

Haley put her items in her bag and began to walk away. As she turned the corner, she found Nathan standing there. It looked like he was waiting for her. "What do you want?" She asked dramatically.

Nathan cocked his head as he looked down at her. Not wearing her heels really made a difference. "I didn't realize you were so short."

Haley crossed her arms and glared at him.

"It's okay," Nathan smiled. She looked very cute standing like that. "I don't mind."

Haley threw up her hands in frustration. "What does that mean?"

Nathan wasn't sure. Where had that come from? He decided to move along. "Where are you going?"

"Nathan, what's going on? You didn't fill out that paperwork—"

Nathan's face lit up as he saw his opening. He changed his demeanor to suit his cause. "I know," he said solemnly. "I felt bad about that. I wanted to smooth things over before our appointment."

Haley sighed. She wasn't sure she believed him but she did want to talk to him about it. They had wasted far too much time during his first appointment and she hoped they could get caught up, at least to the point where she'd get that important paperwork. "There's a coffee shop a couple of blocks away."

"Let's go. My treat."

Haley led him away from the market and towards the coffee shop. She walked very briskly and saw that Nathan was struggling to keep up with her. She began to slow down. "This isn't right, you know."

"I don't see why not. We just ran into each other."

"Still…"

"It's just two people going for coffee, Doc."

Haley stopped and pointed at him. "See! That's what I mean. We're not just two people. You're my patient."

Nathan felt a little bad for getting her riled up like that; _just a little_. "It doesn't feel like it."

"That's not a good thing," Haley said disappointedly. She began walking again.

"I think it is," Nathan said catching up. "That office made me anxious and I feel more comfortable talking to you like this."

"Yeah, because I look like slob," Haley muttered.

"I don't think that," Nathan said honestly. He censored his thoughts about her appearance as he thought about how to truly compliment her. "You look nice."

Haley eyed him skeptically as they walked into the coffee shop. They got their coffees and took a seat in a private corner.

"So…." Haley said taking a sip of her coffee.

"It's hot out there, huh?" Nathan asked distractedly.

"Why didn't you fill out the paperwork?"

Nathan hated how relentless she was. "There was personal stuff on there."

"That's the point."

"I didn't want to share that personal stuff _with you_."

Haley was offended. "Why? You don't trust me? I wouldn't tell anyone, even Lucas. It's completely confidential."

"No. It's not that. There are just things I'm not ready to share with you. Some of those things I didn't even want to think about."

"Like what?" Haley asked gently. "Not that you have to tell me your answer, but just give me an example of a question that made you uncomfortable."

Nathan sighed. "All of them. Except for the medical stuff…I don't have any problems there, but the other stuff… I don't think about my level of satisfaction with life on a daily basis," he said refereeing to one the things he was asked to rate about himself on from a scale of one to five. "And negative thoughts about myself? If I had to answer that one, wouldn't that be a negative thought?" Nathan asked attempting a small joke.

"They ask those questions so we can get a sense of what your self-image is and to assess your emotional state; that's all. We don't judge, Nathan. It's just a tool so we can help you."

"I still don't understand why want to help me. Didn't you know me from high school and hate me?" Nathan set his coffee down and leaned in. "Wait, did I do something to you? Is that why you're treating me? Is this some kind of revenge thing?"

Haley laughed. "No! I'm not like that!"

"So, I did do something to you?"

"No," Haley said earnestly. "Unless you count ignoring me. You picked on Lucas, but always looked right past me….Right? You don't remember me at all, do you?"

"No," Nathan admitted. He would have remembered taking the time to look at those brown eyes staring back at him. "I was pretty wrapped up in myself back then. You're right. I wasn't looking. Still, I don't know how I missed you."

Haley felt her cheeks heating up. She tried not be affected by his words. This just had to be his charm. "Well, you did, so I have nothing against you."

"Why did you move?" Nathan asked curiously. Sure, Lucas had talked about her a lot over the years, but he hadn't paid much attention. As Haley looked down, he saw that she was uncomfortable. "Is that too personal?"

Haley was touched that he was actually being considerate for once. She just hadn't been prepared to answer questions about herself. It did seem like a fair question for her to answer. "No….We moved there to help my oldest sister, Vivian. She was going through a divorce," she hesitated, conflict over just how much details to share, "and needed our help," she finished vaguely.

"That must have been hard to change schools in the middle of high school."

"I didn't have a great experience at Tree Hill High."

"Oh," Nathan said feeling bad. "Did you like Texas?"

"Honey Grove is nice. Tree Hill is still my home though. My parents actually moved back after a year. I decided to stay in Honey Grove to keep helping out my sister."

Nathan could tell there was more to the story when it came to her sister but didn't want to push her. "Sounds like you're a great sister."

Haley felt compelled to share a little more. "I'm an aunt, too. Vivian has a son, Michael. I stayed for him just as much as her."

"You have other brothers and sisters?"

"Yes! I have two brothers and three sisters. We're all spread out."

"Just your parents are in Tree Hill?"

Haley nodded. It wasn't the full truth, but she didn't want to get into that. "Sometimes, I wished I went back with them. I really missed being with my parents."

Nathan could see some sadness in her eyes. He struggled to understand what kept her from Tree Hill. "High school sucked that bad, huh?"

Haley shrugged. "It's more that it seemed like things changed so much after I left."

"You mean with Luke?"

"We kept in close touch," Haley responded immediately. "But I knew that he fell in with a new crowd," she slowly admitted. "I've met Brooke and Peyton since then and I know they're awesome, but I didn't know that at the time. I just assumed Luke was popular and on the basketball team….and anyway, we still talked on the phone a lot and I saw him when I visited my parents. Then, he and Karen even came out and visited me once."

"I know," Nathan said somberly. "Right after my uncle died."

"Yeah," Haley sighed. She could see the pain in his eyes, along with a hint of anger. It was very similar to what she saw in Lucas. "That must have been difficult for you."

"It more difficult for Lucas. He spent more time with Keith. I wish I had," Nathan said regretfully.

"I meant because of your father," Haley said biting her lip. She was trying to tread carefully, but felt this was a natural progression of their conversation. It was more like two friends talking instead of a patient/therapist.

Nathan stiffened up. He took a long drink from his coffee. He really didn't want to talk about his father. As soon as he looked at Haley, his began to relax. It actually helped that she knew his background. He didn't have to relive every little detail and tell her the full story. "It was hard. It's easier now that I cut him out of my life. At least Luke didn't have to ever deal with him."

"He always said that you always had it worse because you grew up with Dan as your father. Maybe he's right."

"He was better off without him, that's for sure."

Instinctually, Haley knew it was best to move along. She didn't want to push him too far and didn't want to get into any heavy stuff away from the office. "Can I make a suggestion? About the paperwork, I mean?"

Nathan nodded, disheartened. He was reminded that for Haley, this was all about her job.

"For starters, we need it; at least for insurance purposes. What you can do thought is fill out all the medical stuff and for the other things, any questions blank that you're uncomfortable with."

"Really?"

"Really. Most people don't answer every question anyway. Don't get me wrong; it would be best if you did them all, but I'll take what I can get." Haley gave him a reassuring smile.

"I could do that," Nathan meekly agreed. He was starting to feel as if she was being honest with him all along. It really seemed like she wanted to help him. He was conflicted about the secret he was keeping from her. He contemplated telling her about the deal he made with Dr. Rimkus. "Can I ask you a question about your job?"

"Sure."

"What is your relationship with Dr. Rimkus? Is she your boss?"

Haley readjusted her ponytail as she thought about Dr. Rimkus and the conversation they had about taking on Nathan as a patient. "Pretty much. She's my supervisor. I'm working under her license."

Nathan suspected as much. He wished he'd thought about this earlier. He didn't like how Haley's career depended on a person like her. "You like her?"

"She's okay," Haley said uneasily. The guilt was creeping in as she thought about her secret; the real reason she had taken on Nathan as a patient. "She's given up a lot time to help me and I feel like I owe her. Sometimes, I think maybe I do too much for her."

Nathan wanted to ask her if the only reason she took him on a patient was because Dr. Rimkus forced her to do it. He decided against it. He wasn't prepared to hear her answer. He would prefer to just go on believing she wanted to help him….He could also pretend their mutual attracting bringing them together; that was still as clear as day as he sat across from her. "You're a good person, Haley."

Haley sprang up. She couldn't sit there and take an undeserved compliment like that. "I have to go."

"Okay," Nathan said standing up. "Uh, I'll bring by that paperwork on Tuesday."

"Good."

Haley and Nathan disposed of their coffees and headed out. Once outside, they turned and faced each other.

"I'm parked down by the market," Haley said pointing behind her.

"I'm over that way," Nathan gestured across the street.

"Alright then. Tuesday?"

"Tuesday," Nathan confirmed. "Unless…"

Haley's heart skipped a beat. She couldn't bring herself to speculate where he was going with this. "Unless what?"

"I liked meeting here. It seemed to work better."

"We can't do that. You have to come to the office."

"I figured," Nathan smiled, his blue eyes sparkling.

Haley smiled back. "This did work though," she conceded.

Nathan shuffled his feet. He wasn't completely comfortable with idea of having a therapist, but talking to Haley….It was so easy. "You think we could ever be friends?"

Haley was struck at how he seemed to read her earlier thoughts. They were actually on the same wavelength….except this was not realistic. "We can't-not while you're my patient."

Nathan noticed the exception to her answer. Well, his sessions were only eight weeks. "So when my therapy is done?" He asked hopefully.

Haley wished she had another answer. The truth was it wasn't a good idea. "Probably not. My career is very important to me. I don't want anything compromising it."

Nathan nodded understanding. He was starting to feel horrible for putting her in this situation. He just should have stuck with Dr. Muller. "I get it. It's probably not good for my career either."

As they parted ways, both were thinking similar thoughts. They both had their secrets, but something had changed between them. There was more than attraction between them. There was some other type of connection they couldn't place. It left them with a sense of longing, desire and regret. The situation wasn't ideal, but at least they would see each other on Tuesday. It would do…._for now_.

* * *

><p>Haley was in a daze as she stood by her office window staring out at the beach. It was a ways off, but she found it comforting. She absolutely loved the beach and it was a travesty she didn't get to go there more often. She loved sound of the crashing of the waves, the tingly feel of sand on her feet, the taste of salt water and the sight of the backdrop of the ocean at sunset. It was times like these, when she needed perspective that it helped to at least have a small piece to look at. It was poor substitute for being there, but it was enough to calm her racing mind.<p>

Her mind was racing because Nathan was due to come in first thing tomorrow morning. It would be their third therapy session. She had put off reviewing her notes and looking at the questionnaire as long as possible. Now with evening hours approaching, she knew it was time. She had to refocus her energy and try to be objective as possible when preparing for the session.

Haley's hesitation stemmed from the increasing level of difficulty she was having in thinking about Nathan in a pure, professional manner. The truth was, she had been thinking about him a lot over the past week-ever since their second session. She found an image of him popping in her mind at random times and it would carry her away to a place she wasn't comfortable with.

Haley's eyes settled on a flashy red sports car pulling into their office parking lot. She watched as a tall man with dark hair got out and headed towards the building. From fifteen stories up, it looked like Nathan. Then again, that had been happening to her all week.

After having him show up at the market, she was on the lookout for him everywhere. There were a couple of times she was convinced she'd seen him, only to realize when she got closer it wasn't him. Then, went she went to market again on Sunday, she was on high alert. She'd even followed it up with a visit to the same coffee shop. In the end, there was no sign of him. This time, Haley knew her mind was playing tricks on her and decided it was time to walk away from the window and get back to work.

Haley went back her desk and opened up her folder. She looked over her notes from their last session. It was a great session and they made progress. For most of the session, Nathan talked about basketball. Haley visualized him as she recalled their conversation. His entire mannerisms changed as he vividly talked about his passion. His eyes seemed to open up and turn a brighter shade of blue. The corners of his lips curled up slightly as if fighting off a persistent smile. His hands were in a constant state of flux with his hand gestures. His tone was confident and his voice animated. It was obvious he was talking about the most important thing in his life.

Haley could relate. It was the same with her and her prospective career. In fact, she ended up talking about that…Maybe a bit too much. She was aware she ended up sharing more personal details than a normal therapist should, but it seemed to help. Whenever she opened up about herself, Nathan reciprocated. It made it even easier since he seemed interested in what she had to say. He asked her all the right questions.

Yes, Nathan Scott turned a corner with his level of appropriateness with her. Gone were the suggestive remarks and innuendos. His questions were sincere and fitting. His witty comments were still there, but Haley found herself enjoying them. He made her laugh in way that made her feel good. She was starting to see the value of levity in getting through long days filled with serious evaluations of psychological issues. Sure, she still loved her work, but it was very draining. So, as she prepared for her session, she began to get excited about the prospect of having Nathan in to start her day off on the right foot. Funny how things changed. She never would have imagined that.

She tried to pinpoint when it had changed. For him, she suspected it was their shared cup of coffee. For her, it had to be the start of their second session. He had walked in to her office and smiled at her and it was a genuine smile. She felt it in her heart. It was as if he was happy to be there; happy to see _her_.

After talking about their respective passions, the conversation drifted towards Nathan's father. His attitude changed, but he didn't shut down. Haley didn't press him and let him do the talking. He admitted that his father always pressured him and it affected their relationship. He told her how their relationship completely revolved around basketball. Yet, he still loved the sport and had to distance himself from his father in order to succeed. Lucas helped him see that.

As the session ended, Haley knew it wasn't the way a normal session should go because of their shared personal information, but in the end, it felt right. She believed she was getting through to him. It was that warm feeling and sense of satisfaction that took her throughout the week. This was one of the reasons she wanted this career. She loved helping people, but found herself really loving helping Nathan.

She opened up his questionnaire and began to look it over. She was surprised to see that he'd answered all of the questions. She skimmed through the medical ones. It was as she suspected. He'd alluded to his father's heart condition, but indicated he was fine. Haley knew that was true since both he and Lucas had been tested for HCM. The only other things listed were a brief hospitalization in high school and the treatment for his hand after the bar fight.

It was the personality test and self-assessment that concerned her. She read it over three times before making some notes. Sleep seemed to be a major problem with him. Anxiety as well. Anger was to be expected. The self-assessment was the most disturbing; negative self-talk, feelings of despair, loneliness, unfulfillment and dissatisfaction with life….it was more than bothersome. She couldn't be objective with this. This was Nathan. She saw that she cared about him and his wellbeing and much more than a therapist should about their patient. She became determined to help him now more than ever.

Haley's ringing phone forced her to pull away from her work. "Hello?"

"I need to see you," Dr. Rimkus said sternly. "Right now."

"I'll be right in." Haley hung up the phone and headed out of her office to Dr. Rimkus'. As she walked into her office, Haley was seriously worried. She knew in some way she was in trouble.

"Sit down," Dr. Rimkus instructed her from her desk. Haley sunk down to in the chair in front of her desk. "I'm taking you off of treating Nathan Scott." She pushed some papers in front of her. "I've post-dated these session dates and I'd like you to sign off on them."

Haley took the papers but didn't look at them. She was numb as she remained focused on Dr. Rimkus. "Why?"

"He feels uncomfortable working with you," Dr. Rimkus said stifling a smile. "It seems you had quite the effect on him."

Haley felt a flurry of emotions and ended up suppressing most of them. "But….he needs help. Why can't you treat him?"

"I've already explained to you why I can't. I also can't be the one to sign off on him now that our records indicate you as his therapist. We've already faxed that information to the Lakers organization so we can't change it."

"I thought you were the primary and I was the secondary," Haley argued showing her irritation.

Dr. Rimkus rolled her eyes. "I was helping you, Haley. I saw that you had your collaboration hours filled and needed more of the individual ones, so I started the paperwork with your name."

"I…I…I don't know if I can do it," Haley stammered.

"Dr. Green called today," Dr. Rimkus said casually. "She was asking for my feedback on your visits with Matthew."

Haley was horrified as stood up. She shook her head disgustedly at Dr. Rimkus as she fought back tears. This lady was unforgivable, yet she also was her supervisor and held all the important cards for Haley's career. "I'll think about it," she bit out.

"Haley, it's not what you think. This is all for your benefit. You should not be spending any more time with that man and I can assure you he doesn't want to be with you. Just let it go."

Haley stormed out the office with the paperwork in her hand.

* * *

><p>As soon as Haley left her office building, she made a beeline for the bar across the street. She had been there a lot, but only a few times alone and even then, she usually found someone she knew. A local band was play that night and she planned on drinking heavily to the sounds of some distracting music. The place was packed and Haley saw only a single seat at the bar. She took the seat and gestured for the bartender.<p>

"What can I get for you tonight?" Owen asked.

"Vodka."

"Yeah?"

"Owen, don't do that to me," Haley chided him. Sure, it wasn't her normal drink, but this wasn't a normal day. Just as Owen placed the shot glass in front of her, the person next to her got up. Haley's flew open as she locked eyes with Nathan who was sitting in the next seat over. He looked surprised as well, but quickly recovered as he moved to the open seat beside her.

Haley picked up her vodka and downed it. She laughed wickedly as Nathan watched her. She banged her hand on the bar and Owen turned around and looked at her nervously. "Keep 'em coming, Owen!" She turned back to Nathan. "Fancy meeting you here."

"I'm not stalking you, I swear," Nathan said convincingly. "I didn't know you came here." Haley gave him a cold stare. He knew what that meant. Dr. Rimkus had talked to her. Just exactly what had she said? He had an idea, but was it everything? How much did she tell Haley? Did she know all his secrets? Against his better judgment, he had to stay and find out, which meant facing the wrath of Haley James. He had a feeling that would be punishment enough for his impetuous actions earlier that evening.

* * *

><p>Preview of next chapter: "Dance So Good" (Wakey!Wakey!)<p>

AN: Thank you for all the kind reviews! There were some very astute observations. I'm happy to see that since I have a strong story map going now and the details are relevant.

Water and the beach are two big themes here. As you read, Haley loves the beach. Personally, I hate it. I can come up with ten good things and about a hundred horrible things. If you are a ocean/beach lover, feel free to send me your thoughts on why you love the beach. I will credit you if I used them!

Sorry for the delay in posting this chapter. I have been writing, but I just haven't had the time post like I'd initially thought. I am writing ahead, so hopefully I will catch up posting. Also, if you listened to the song for this chapter, I'd love to hear your thoughts. Next chapter picks up right where this one left off!


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer #1**: Characters, minor plot points and dialogue belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and _One Tree Hill_ writers.

**Disclaimer #2**: Although my career is in the field of psychology, I have taken a lot of liberties with my story. My background is nothing like Haley's in this story. Her story only has _a little_ basis in reality. I know many people in that field who have given me inspiration for details here and there, but this situation is entirely fictional. Please don't take what you read as fact, especially when it comes to the research discussed and ethics of practicing psychology. As with all my stories, you have to use the suspension of disbelief, just as you do with our favorite tv show. The examples in this story are merely for plot purposes. If you do have questions or concerns about the psychological elements of the story, please feel free to pm. I'd love to discuss!

Chapter 6: "Dance So Good" (Wakey!Wakey!)

Owen appeared in front of Haley and set down another shot of vodka. He leaned over to talk to her. "Just so you know, Damien is due in later."

"Fuck," Haley said picking up her shot glass.

Owen put his hands up helplessly. "Just giving you a heads up."

Haley shot a nasty look in Nathan's direction. "I won't be staying long anyway."

As soon as Owen left, Nathan turned to Haley. "Haley, can I talk to you?"

"If you wanted to talk, you'd be coming in tomorrow morning, but you aren't, are you?" Haley asked testily. She frigidly stared him down waiting for his response.

"I guess Dr. Rimkus talked to you." Nathan waited for Haley to confirm this, but she just kept giving him that silent stare. "What exactly did she tell you?"

Haley wasn't in the mood for any of his games. "What should she have told me?" She shot back.

"I didn't want to go," Nathan sighed. Their second session hit him a little too deeply. As he left that day, he found himself regretting filling out that paperwork and leaving it with her. He could only imagine what she was thinking of him now. Now, she knew far more about him than he was comfortable with. The idea of facing Haley for his third session weighed heavily on him all week until he couldn't take it anymore, especially when he had a solution.

"Yeah, I got that, thanks. Message received." Haley fumed crossing her arms.

Nathan winced. It looked like she wanted to clobber him. Her eyes were filled with fire as she glared at him before turning to take a sip of her vodka. It wasn't the first time a girl looked at him like that, but this was different. He knew below that anger, she was hurt. He had a ways to go at redeeming himself. As mad as she was, she was still beautiful and he wanted so badly to change that look in her eyes. He decided to turn on his charm, yet be as honest as possible. "There's something between us. I know you can feel it," Nathan said huskily.

Haley nearly spat out her drink. "You think you're so cool, don't you? You'd just love it if I fell for a line like that!"

Nathan hadn't expected that reaction. "I-It's true. You said yourself that we couldn't be friends as long as I wasn't your patient."

Haley pointed her finger at him and glowered. "Don't do this! Don't pretend that you did this so we could be friends! You told my boss that I made you feel uncomfortable! She said you didn't want to be around me!"

Nathan sighed heavily. He turned away from Haley and took a sip of his beer. He couldn't stand having her look at him like that anymore. He felt like he betrayed her. "I didn't mean it the way you think."

"She's my boss!" Haley said louder than she'd meant to. A couple of people around them, including Owen, looked in their direction. Haley lowered her voice and leaned towards him. "You told my boss I made you feel uncomfortable and you didn't want me as your therapist anymore. How do you think this makes me look?" Her eyes turned from angry to desperate. "This is my career we're talking about here. I thought you _of all people_ understood how important that was to me."

Nathan again looked away, this time down at the bar. "I do get it. It's just easier for both of us if you just sign off on my sessions."

"Well, I'm not going to do that," Haley said tauntingly. In truth, she hadn't made her decision yet, but she wasn't going to tell him that.

Nathan's head shot back up. "You have to…Dr. Rimkus said—"

"It's _my decision_. It's _my paperwork_ to sign off on."

Now, Nathan was the one with desperate eyes. "You have to! I need that—"

"Then you should have just kept your appointment!"

Nathan started to think Haley was just playing him. "Dr. Rimkus will do it," he said confidently.

"She can't. My name is on the paperwork and the Lakers already have it on file. And by the way-you need to drop this friends crap because the Lakers wouldn't like it if they found out your," Haley dramatically gestured a pair of quotation marks, "_therapist_ is your friend!"

Nathan hadn't considered any of this. He thought about it, but still wasn't buying it. "They wouldn't find out."

"You willing to risk it?" Haley challenged him.

Nathan fell silent. He didn't like the idea of anything standing in the way between him and the N.B.A. He turned his attention back to his beer. After a few minutes of silence, he garnered enough courage to face Haley. She was turned around intently watching a group of people on the other side of the bar. Her eyes seemed to be fixated on the jacked guy in the tight t-shirt laughing loudly and surrounded by ladies. "Is that Damien?"

Haley gave Nathan a curious sideways glance. "What?"

"The guy the bartender said was coming in. Is he your ex or something?"

Haley was impressed he put this much thought into a simple comment from Owen. "He wishes," Haley said smugly. She grew serious when she saw Nathan was patiently waiting for an explanation. It was then she noticed the dark circles under his eyes. His sleeping problems were definitely having a physical effect on him. Had she always missed that? "That's not him. Damien is just some jerk that hits on me every time I come in."

"Oh," Nathan said. He oddly felt relieved. "So what's the deal with them? You know them?"

Haley started to feel self-conscious. She wasn't used to someone paying close attention to her. Yet, Nathan had consistently done that and he had an eye for details. Haley attributed this in some way to his need for that skill on the basketball court. She didn't know much about the sport, but she knew any athlete needed to be able to successfully anticipate the responses of their teammates and opponents. "I don't know them. I'm just trying to figure out why that guy is such an asshole."

"Whoa," Nathan said surprised. "You jumped to that conclusion pretty quickly. Is it fair to assume every guy that finds himself surrounded by ladies is an asshole?"

"It's more than that." Haley leaned a little closer to him. "See that brunette girl in the back corner wearing black with the ponytail?"

Nathan nodded. "The one drooling over him?"

"He came in with her! They looked like they were a couple. He even touched her a few times. Then, she started talking to that girl, one of her friends I assume, and he went off and found some other girls. Now, he's acting like she doesn't exist!"

"No," Nathan disagreed. "He keeps an eye on her. He's got a thing for her too."

Nathan and Haley both turned around as the guy headed in their direction. He squeezed in a few people over and was quickly waited on by Owen. "I'll take a Sam Adams." He turned around to face the chesty blonde patting his back. She batted her eyelashes at him and smiled. "You want something?"

"Dirty martini," the blonde purred.

The guy grinned and turned back around. He looked over at Owen and shouted. "Add a dirty martini."

Haley shot Nathan a cocky smile.

As soon as the guy left with his beer and the blonde trailing behind him with her martini, Haley and Nathan simultaneously turned back around to watch them. The brunette made her way back over to the guy with a serious pout. As the guy tried to talk to her, she pretended not see him and began talking to another guy. The guy quickly recovered by talking to yet another blonde.

"Okay, give me your psychological assessment," Nathan prodded her.

"I'm just people-watching."

"Bullshit. You're analyzing their behavior. You can't help it. Just like I can't help but get worked up whenever I watch a basketball game, no matter who's playing."

Haley decided to indulge in Nathan's challenge. "I think," she said spinning around slightly on her bar stool, "that deep down he's afraid of rejection. So, he's pushing her away before she turns him down. In the end, he doesn't want to get hurt."

Nathan scoffed.

"No? What do you have?"

Nathan took another minute to watch them before making his final assessment. "He's a stupid guy." Satisfied, he turned back around and took a drink of his beer.

Haley twisted around. "I'm not going to argue with you there, but what do you mean? That's not a good excuse for leading a girl on like that. Remember, he did come with her. I suppose he's planning on leaving with her, too."

"He doesn't get she's into him. He doesn't see it. Guys aren't mind readers, you know! Girls just assume we know how they feel all the time. It's so much easier if they stop playing games and just tell us. If she wants to be with him, she should tell him. It's a simple as that."

"You just think everything is so damn simple, don't you?"

"Most of the time, yes. People just make it more complicated than it needs to be."

Haley understood what he was getting at. "People like me. _Therapists_," she said dryly.

"I'm not saying you're not good at your job—"

"Could have fooled me! Look at what you told Rimkus!"

"That's not,….It's just," Nathan tried to explain. Unable to find the right words, he stopped. "Dammit!"

"You have no defense!"

"Stop being _that girl_, Haley," Nathan shot back nodding his head towards the brunette. "Just start admitting that the reason you decided to treat me in the first place is because there's something between us!"

"I didn't have a choice," Haley blurted out. She quickly regretted revealing that as she saw the coldness set in Nathan's eyes.

"And there it is," Nathan said all too quickly. He looked away to hide his disappointment.

"Nathan," Haley said softly put her hand on his shoulder.

Nathan brushed her off and stared her down with his icy blue eyes. "You aren't any better than me," he gritted out. "No wait-you're worse! You looked me in the eye and told me you wanted to help me when all along you were just doing what Rimkus told you to! You lied to me!"

"I wasn't lying," Haley said desperately. "I did want to help you—I still do—it's just not ethical—"

"That didn't stop you from agreeing to treat me, did it?" Nathan fired back.

"I-I wanted to help you. I really did," Haley said looking down. She picked up her shot glass and downed the rest of it.

Nathan stayed quiet letting this all sink in. Haley had lied to him. She wasn't exactly the morally superior person he initially thought she was. As he eyed her carefully, he saw that she was unable to look him in the eye. She was still holding something back. "I don't believe you."

"What?" Haley asked lifting her head back up.

"There's something else you're not telling me."

Haley looked away. She hated how he could read her like that. "Leave me alone."

Nathan suddenly stood up as surge of confidence hit him. He knew he was on to something and he had a pretty good idea what was going on. "Dance with me."

Haley twisted around with her mouth slightly dropped open. She shook her head adamantly.

Nathan smirked. "I knew it. You're scared because you know there _is _something here."

"You need to get over yourself. Not every female lusts after you like you think."

"You do."

'You're wrong."

"Prove it. If you're right, it should be no big deal. And if I'm right…well, you claim you can learn to control your emotions, so you should be able to hide it."

Haley felt like she was backed into a corner. He had successfully used her own words against her. It was another thing she hated about him. She stood up, lifting her head up indignantly. "Fine."

Nathan began to walk towards the center of the bar where a small group of people where dancing. "Perfect," he said as the band began to play a slow song.

Haley stood stiffly in front of Nathan fiddling with her hands. It had been years since she'd shared a slow dance with a guy.

Nathan saw the terrified look in Haley's eyes. "You nervous?" He grinned knowing he had the upper hand this time.

"Only because I'm not good at dancing," Haley admitted with a slight blush.

Nathan's insides began to churn. He found the beautiful, petite girl standing shyly in front of him to be a far cry from the strong-willed, sarcastic person that lost her head when she first sat down at the bar. These dual sides of Haley were starting to drive him crazy. He put his hands on her shoulders and pressed them down. "Relax." He took her hands and placed them around his neck and put his hands high up on her back. He swayed her gently and slowly and felt her begin to loosen up. He gave her a soft smile. "See? We dance good, don't we?"

Haley couldn't bring herself to answer him. Half of her was starting to feel comfortable, while the other half was still nervous. She needed a distraction or else her emotions were going to get the best of her. She tilted her head up at Nathan. She tried not to let the way he towered over her be too intimidating. "Tell me why you went to Dr. Rimkus."

Nathan cocked his head with irritation. "You had to start talking."

"Tell me why."

"I don't want you working with someone like her," Nathan replied sternly.

"You say that like you think you can tell me what to do!"

"Haley, look at the facts. She made you take me on as patient even though she knew it was wrong." Nathan held back one significant detail for his own benefit. He knew if he told her that she would leave him right there and then. He wanted to avoid that at all costs.

"There's nothing I can do about it," Haley said despondently resting her forehead on his chest. The closer proximity to Nathan made her entire body begin to heat up. She picked her head back up and began babbling. "I didn't pick her. I was assigned to her because Dr. Green wanted to work with some subjects in the L.A. area for our study. I know I volunteered, but that was before I met her. When I started doing my observation hours, I began to have reservations, but I thought I could handle it. Then, when the collaboration started, she let me take complete charge. I was flattered. I thought it was because I was just doing a great job and she trusted me. Now, I see it's just because she wasn't interested in really helping me. Then, she was made junior partner and had even less time—"

"Haley!" Nathan said tugging at her back. He looked deep into Haley's serious eyes. He could see just a trace of sadness. He wasn't sure what it came from, but he knew it was more prominent when she talked about her family. He wanted to know more about it. He wanted to help her. It sounded crazy, but was true. He was starting to care for her and not it the same way he did in that elevator. "It's okay. I know how important your career is to you."

Haley became unnerved. It was like he was looking right through her. "You still didn't tell me why."

Nathan had tried, she just wasn't listening. "You ever think I did this for you?"

Haley withdrew her arms, stomped her foot and crossed her arms. "You are impossible! Stop playing these games with me!"

Nathan loved it when she got like this. She didn't even seem to care that was throwing a temper tantrum right there on the dance floor. "You're a brat," he said showing his amusement. Before he knew it, he let his feelings overtake him.

"And you're—" Haley didn't have the opportunity to finish. Nathan leaned over and kissed the top of her forehead taking any rational thoughts from her head with his soft lips. It was the tenderness of that delicate action that got to her. She couldn't remember anyone doing something like that to her. It sent chills down her spine.

Nathan was stunned by his own actions…..but he didn't regret it either. With that one simple act, all the frustrated tension melted away and was replaced with something else. He wasn't sure what it was, but it felt so good.

Haley wasn't sure if Nathan guided her head onto his chest or if it gravitated there on its own. It didn't matter; it felt too good to try and figure out. As she felt Nathan's strong hands rubbing her back, she secured her arms tightly around his waist. She could still feel the exact spot of his kiss. Being cared for like this, was something so new for Haley….and being cared for by Nathan felt like the most natural thing in the world. She let herself get carried away by that amazing feeling for the rest of the song as they danced instead of talked.

When the song ended, Haley slowly pulled away from Nathan. She hesitated before looking up to face him. She tried to get her head back on track. She didn't have a chance to do that. Nathan put his thumb to her cheek, brought it down to her chin and lifted it up towards him. His blue eyes were sparkling as he eyed her lips. Haley's heart began to thump loudly in her chest. He closed his eyes and lowered his head towards hers.

* * *

><p>Preview of the next chapter: "Push" (Matchbox 20)<p>

AN: I debated cutting it off there, but decided what follows fits better with the theme of the next chapter. If you want a sneak peek, which is the rest of that scene, I am willing to share it. I haven't found the best way to do this. If you can get me your email address, I can send you a link or I may try and work the doc's exchange feature if you have an account with fanfic. I haven't tried that, so it may not work. Or you could just wait!

Thanks for all of your support! It is very motivating! There is a lot of progress in the next few chapters, with some big twists.

A special thank you to everyone who gave me ideas about the beach/ocean. I was so inspired, I put some of them right into Chapter 9! I plan to use them throughout this story, as a lot of the songs have that theme in them. Thanks again—you helped a lot.


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer #1**: Characters, minor plot points and dialogue belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and _One Tree Hill_ writers.

**Disclaimer #2**: Although my career is in the field of psychology, I have taken a lot of liberties with my story. My background is nothing like Haley's in this story. Her story only has _a little_ basis in reality. I know many people in that field who have given me inspiration for details here and there, but this situation is entirely fictional. Please don't take what you read as fact, especially when it comes to the research discussed and ethics of practicing psychology. As with all my stories, you have to use the suspension of disbelief, just as you do with our favorite tv show. The examples in this story are merely for plot purposes. If you do have questions or concerns about the psychological elements of the story, please feel free to pm. I'd love to discuss!

Chapter 7: "Push" (Matchbox 20)

Haley panicked as Nathan leaned in to kiss her. She put her hand to his chest and gave him a soft push.

Nathan's head shot up. His eyes searched hers.

"You…You need to think about what you're doing," Haley said gathering her thoughts. Nathan remained silent, as his hands fell to her lower back. Haley's nerves returned in full force. "If you do that—"

"Kiss you," Nathan interjected with a half of a grin.

"Yes," Haley said with her chest heaving up and down. "If you kiss me, I have to end my professional relationship with you."

Nathan withdrew his hands and took a small step back. "What do you mean?"

"I mean that I can't have my name on your paperwork at all. You'll have to start over with another therapist."

Nathan ran his hand through his hair and gritted his teeth. He didn't have time for that. "I need that paperwork."

"I know," Haley said biting her lip as she looked down.

"Then I guess maybe we should call it a night," Nathan mumbled.

Haley's logical side told her this was a good sign, at least for his sake. "See, I told you if you just stopped to think about things—"

"Fuck," Nathan said bobbing his head around. He looked at her squarely, stung by her words. "This is all another one of your psychological games! I can't believe how you played me like that! You know, what? I'm going take off….and I'll pay for your drinks. You know, since you deserved to get paid for being on the clock, Doc."

Haley fought back tears as Nathan stormed off. She stayed on the dance floor trying to sort through her feelings.

Nathan slid his credit card across the bar towards Owen. "This is for me…and Haley. You know her, right?"

"Sure do," Owen said, "and it looks like she has her hands full right now." Nathan turned around and saw Haley standing in the same spot as a guy hovered over her. It looked like she wanted to move but couldn't. He quickly headed over.

Haley jerked away from Damien as he grabbed her elbow to keep her from walking away. "I said I'm not interested!"

Nathan grabbed Damien roughly by his shoulder and gave him a forceful push. "Let me guess—you're Damien."

Damien let out a cocky laugh as he regained his balanced. "Who the hell are you?"

"Someone you'll never forget." Nathan took a step forward, preparing to lunge into the smarmy bastard. He stopped when Haley stepped in front of him.

Haley reached up and put her hands on Nathan's shoulders. She moved back and forth with him blocking his view of Damien. He finally relented and looked at her. She could see the fury in his eyes. She looked down and saw his clenched fists. He was about to lose it. "_I need you_," Haley said slowly and deliberately forcing him to keep looking at her, " _to drive me home_."

"What?" Nathan asked honestly not understanding what she said. It was as if her lips were moving, but what was coming out wasn't making sense.

Haley continued to speak slowly and calmly. "I'm afraid that I've had too much to drink. I'm ready to go now and I'd like you to drive me home."

"Me?"

Haley nodded. "You paid our bill, right? Let's go." She took him by the hand and let him way from the dance floor.

They were passing the bar when Owen called out. "Nate!" He held up Nathan's credit card.

Nathan let go of Haley's hand, went and signed his bill, and pocketed his credit card. He turned back around and saw Haley standing by the door waiting for him. It was like she calling out to him.

He wiped his sweaty palms on his jeans and walked over to her. He wanted to take her hand, but instead grabbed the door and held it open for her. It was only once they were outside that he remembered Damien. He turned back in the direction of the bar.

Haley grabbed his arm. "Nathan, don't. He's not worth it."

Nathan tried to read Haley. "Are we still playing games, here? Was that all just a show—"

"I want you to drive me home," Haley said giving his arm a reaffirming squeeze. "Please."

With that, Nathan felt all his anger dissipate. "Okay."

* * *

><p>With the exception of Haley giving Nathan directions, they rode in silence to Haley's apartment complex. When he pulled over, she stopped him from shutting off the car and getting out. "Oh, no. You don't need to walk me up. I'm fine."<p>

"I want to make sure you get in okay."

Haley shook her head. "I'll be fine."

"Anyone ever tell you're stubborn?"

"I've been told I was brat recently."

They shared a soft chuckle.

"You helped me tonight," Nathan reluctantly admitted.

"It wasn't all about my job," Haley admitted.

"I know."

Feeling like they were starting to reach a new understanding, Haley decided to voice the conclusion she'd arrived at. "You went to Dr. Rimkus because you got scared. You don't want to deal with your problems. Let me help you."

Nathan stiffened up. He was stupid thinking he could trust her. She was just another female that liked to play mind games. Based on his past experiences, in the end all it would bring him was betrayal. "I don't think we should see each other anymore."

Haley's heart sank as he put his wall back up. Her instincts were off and she had pushed him too far. She opened up the car door and exited before he could see the tears forming in her eyes. As she made her way up to her apartment, she was fully aware it was not normal to cry over a patient like this….but he wasn't just a patient to her.

Haley let herself into her apartment, locked the door and threw herself on the couch. She looked at the clock. It was late on the East Coast, but this was one of those times she needed someone to pour her heart out to….There was only one person she could do that with. It was the one person who could make her feel better. It was the person who knew her best. With tears streaming down her face, Haley pulled out her phone and dialed her number. Within three rings, there was an answer.

"Haley Bob?"

"Mom…"

* * *

><p>As Haley prepared to head out of her apartment the next morning, she checked to make sure she had everything she needed. She was off to a late start after a sleepless night, but knew she had some leniency due to a certain cancellation. She rifled through her bag and saw she had everything she needed to change into some casual clothes once she left the office. She knew it was little things like that helped make Matthew comfortable. Her knee length skirt, blouse and heels weren't ideal for a home visit with a severely autistic child. After checking the time, Haley was happy to see it was just about nine a.m. Perfect. She could stop at the small bank around the corner to get some extra money for the cab fare.<p>

Haley exited her apartment and walked across the outside corridor. It was a two-story building with eight units in a lower-class neighborhood and her place was on the second floor. It wasn't ideal because of some crime in the area, but it was affordable and the pool was a bonus. Haley just made sure she was smart about locking her doors and staying in well-lit areas when out at night.

As she finished walking down the stairs, she was stunned to see Nathan's car sitting in the same exact spot it'd been last night. Had he even gone home? As she began to approach it, Nathan got out of the car. He was wearing a black hoodie sweatshirt and windpants. She concluded he must have been home at some point.

Haley walked in the opposite direction towards the bank that was a few blocks away.

"Haley!" Nathan called out.

Haley began to speed up but struggled when one of her heels got caught in the crack of the sidewalk. It gave Nathan just enough time to catch up.

"Haley, we need to talk."

"I'm so sick of hearing that."

"Let me give you a ride to work. Then we can go in. It's our time to meet right now anyway, right?" Nathan asked helplessly.

"Actually, your appointment was cancelled."

"Does that mean you're signing the paperwork?"

Haley stopped and spun around. She gripped the strap of the bag strung over her shoulder and spoke through pursed lips. "I bet you'd like to know that, huh? That's why you camped outside my place. You're pathetic!"

"You're half right," Nathan quickly conceded. "I am pathetic. You were right about why I went to Rimkus. You're just…You're starting to know me too well….but everything changed last night. You talked me down at the bar when I got angry. No one's done that before. I want to know how you did it. I want you to help me. I need you to help me."

Haley was conflicted. She could tell he was being sincere, but this also meant he was still viewing her as his therapist. After talking with her mother, she finally saw that she really didn't want that kind of relationship with Nathan. She had some type of feelings for him, even if she wasn't sure what they were. It was hard for to distinguish between that lustful attraction and something entirely different.

As he stood in front of her with those desperate blue eyes, it didn't appear to be the same for him. This was too much for her. Haley turned around and began heading back towards the bank.

Nathan stayed still for a moment. After pouring his heart out to her, he felt the sting of rejection. It hurt more than he thought possible. He began to move again, determined not to give up.

When Haley reached the bank, she stopped when she saw Nathan was back to following her. "Fine. I'll sign off on the paperwork, okay? Then we don't have to see each other anymore just like you wanted!"

"I don't want that," Nathan said shaking his head. He stuffed his hands in his pockets. "I want you." He watched as Haley furrowed her brow. He was making her uncomfortable. He was losing her. He still believed he knew how to get to her-through her job. "You're the only one who can help me. You make me want to change. You're such a good person-"

"Stop saying these nice things to me!" Haley snapped. She couldn't deal with it when he still didn't know about how she'd taken Rimkus' bait for her own personal gain. "You don't know me at all!...Just go away."

"Let me give you a ride to work," Nathan pleaded. "I know you need one."

"I'll take a cab," Haley said.

"I'm not going anywhere," Nathan said obstinately.

"Aghhh!" Haley looked at the bank doors. "Are you going to follow me in here too?"

"If I have to."

Furious, Haley began tugging on one of the bank door's handles. To her surprise, they were locked, or at least the top of the door was. The bottom part wasn't secure at all. She took a step back and looked at the sign for the bank hours. "That's funny. They should be open."

Nathan moved in front of her. "Let me try." He pulled on the doors, but found the same resistance. He looked through the glass. "I see someone in there. They must be open. I think the door is just stuck." This time, he wildly began to pull on the doors. He almost fell back when they opened. With a giant smile, he held the door open for Haley.

Haley rolled her eyes as she walked into the bank. A few steps in, she stopped dead in her tracks. Everything began happening in slow motion.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a hand reaching across the floor. It was reaching for a gun that lied about a foot away.

In the next moment, Haley was thrust to ground with a heavy weight on top of her. Her bag was strewn across the floor, about a foot to her left. Her right arm was by her side, the other twisted under her body. She felt the plastic tip from a black string dangling in her ear. Her strongest sensations were a warm, heavy breath tickling her neck and the musky scent of deodorant. She recognized both from last night.

Haley kept her faced pressed to the carpet as shots rang out. Pain pierced through her ears, followed by silence.

The weight lifted off of her back.

The ringing in her ears began to fade and she started to hear distinguishable sounds.

A man crying out in pain.

A frantic shouting.

Nathan's voice.

Haley twisted around and saw a man with a black-knit face mask holding a hand gun to Nathan's temple. Nathan's face was contorted in a fit of anger with his eyes fixed on her.

"Go," Nathan said to her. "Get out!"

"Shut the fuck up!" The man shouted.

The man shoved Nathan forward and turned to the door. He walked over to the security guard lying to their left. He was hunched over his bleeding leg. The man waved the gun at the guard. "You better fucking tell me how to lock the door and don't mess around again or I'll shoot your other leg!"

Nathan turned his attention to Haley as the security guard struggled to explain the door lock to the man as he winced in pain. Nathan extended his hand to Haley and pulled her to her feet.

Only having one shoe fixed on her foot, she kicked the other off one and stood barefoot looking up at Nathan. In sharp contrast to last night, she found his size comforting. She buried herself in his chest as he wrapped his arms around her.

Nathan watched as the man with the gun locked the doors securely. When he turned back around, they made eye contact.

"He needs help," Nathan glowered at him as he rubbed Haley's back.

"Fuck you, man," he yelled. "It grazed him!"

"Fuck you," Nathan shot back. "You think you're big because you have that gun when you can't even fucking lock a door, right?"

"You better watch what you're saying boy. That girl of yours—"

"Hey!" A voice sounded from behind the teller counters. "What the hell happened out here?" A second man, wearing the same knit mask as the other one, came flying out. He was also holding a hand gun. When he surveyed the scene he put his free hand to his head. "Fuck! How the hell did they get in?"

"He," the man pointed towards the security guard, "didn't lock the doors right! Mother-fucker! Then, he went for his gun!"

"You shot him? What the fuck!" He turned his attention back to Haley and Nathan. "Get them over here! I'll put them with others."

"What about the safe?"

"I got it open. Give me two minutes. Just stay out here. And don't fuck it all up again!"

The man at the door walked Nathan and Haley over behind the teller counter. "Watch this fucker," he said pushing the gun into Nathan's back. "He's got a mouth."

The second man directed them to the back of the room, to the right and through a corridor. He stopped them in front of small room. He opened the door revealing four bank workers lying on their stomachs on the ground. He shoved Haley towards the room. "Get in."

Haley stumbled but turned around and looked at Nathan. "What about him?"

The man cackled. "I got a special place for him."

"Haley, go," Nathan said sternly.

Haley shook her head defiantly. She just knew that if she did, Nathan's temper would get the better of him….and he'd probably end up shot, or even worse….dead.

Nathan couldn't deal with Haley's stubborn streak at that moment. He figured it was best to throw himself in the line of fire to keep the focus off of her. "Let's get fucking going, huh? I'm dying to see this special place."

"Oh," the man said mocking being impressed, "my boy was right. You do got a mouth." He pointed the gun in Nathan's chest. "Maybe we ought to end this all right here." He clicked back the safety trigger.

"No!" Haley cried out. "You can't! I'm pregnant!"

The man with the gun turned and looked at her.

"Don't kill him." Haley patted her stomach. "I need him. My baby needs his father."

Nathan's eyes widened and his mouth dropped open. He knew she was trying to help him, but he needed to get this guy away from her. "Haley, don't—"

The man looked at Nathan. "You don't want your baby?" He asked harshly. "I hate men like you."

"No, he does!" Haley said desperate. "We tried so hard for this baby. We had to have invitro-"

"Yeah?" The man asked with interest.

Haley could tell she's made a connection with him. She nodded seriously. "You see, Nathan has a problem, but we went to these doctors who told us they could help us. I had to go on all these drugs—"

"Those mess you up! My sister had 'em!" The man blurted out.

Nathan was stunned. Haley was fucking brilliant. She had this guy totally off track.

"I know. It's been so hard."

The guy turned to Nathan. "She's doing this because of you! You aren't even a real man."

This wasn't going as Haley hoped. "He is! He works so hard. He had to take on two jobs and we came in to day for another loan. The first round didn't work and it cost so much money—"

"Fuck, money!" The man grabbed Haley out of the doorway of the room and slammed the door shut. "Both of you come with me!"

Nathan and Haley shuffled in front of the man back towards the main area. They stopped in front of a small, narrow safe room. The man pushed them inside and walked them all the way to the back. Nathan's arm automatically extended around Haley.

They watched as the man grabbed some stacks of cash and stuffed them into an already half full duffel bag lying open in the middle of the room. When he finished emptying the shelves, he zipped up the bag and slung it over his shoulder. He held out his hand. "Give me your cell phones."

Haley smoothed down her ruffled skirt and pointed ahead. "It's out there. It's in my bag."

"So help me God, if you're lying—"

Nathan reached in his pocket and pulled out his cell phone. "Here."

The other man's voice rang out from the corridor. "We gotta go!"

The man grabbed the phone, ran out and slammed the safe shut.

Haley looked around at the confines of the room. She looked up at Nathan. Her heart was racing as she started to take heavy breaths. "I think I might be claustrophobic now."

* * *

><p>Preview of next chapter: "Everything You Want" (Vertical Horizon)<p>

AN: Something very important I want to point out—the Naley experience in the bank does not drive the story. It is simply a catalyst. I was kind of thinking of the movie _The Town_ (Ben is my ultimate favorite!) when I came up with it. So here, I was saving you about ten chapters of build up! I don't want this story to be too similar to my other ones. Even Naley will fully admit that this experience didn't _bring_ them together. They both know there were already headed down that murky path. There will be a different kind of fallout though...

However, my full focus is still on _Far Away_! That's my baby. I have been doing a lot of work on that recently. I still have strong plans for this story though. I'd like to post 2-3 chapters a week for this one (since they are shorter) and one a week for my other one. That's in a perfect world and a lofty goal! Just like everyone, unexpected things come up and keep me from posting. Thanks for sticking with this story. It's looking to be a long one! I already have 46 chapters mapped out. Hope that's not too much?

Thanks for all the reviews, favorites and alerts! I love them and they remind me I need to put my posts up because there is actually interest. I'd love to put the next chapter up real soon for you. *Fingers crossed*


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer #1**: Characters, minor plot points and dialogue belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and _One Tree Hill_ writers.

**Disclaimer #2**: Although my career is in the field of psychology, I have taken a lot of liberties with my story. My background is nothing like Haley's in this story. Her story only has _a little_ basis in reality. I know many people in that field who have given me inspiration for details here and there, but this situation is entirely fictional. Please don't take what you read as fact, especially when it comes to the research discussed and ethics of practicing psychology. As with all my stories, you have to use the suspension of disbelief, just as you do with our favorite tv show. The examples in this story are merely for plot purposes. If you do have questions or concerns about the psychological elements of the story, please feel free to pm. I'd love to discuss!

Chapter 8: "Everything You Want" (Vertical Horizon)

Nathan's head was spinning as quietness swept over the safe room. He took a look around, understanding why Haley felt so anxious. The walls were made of gray concrete. It felt like they were surrounded by cement blocks. The size was another factor. This room was half the size of his bathroom. There were shelves lining both sides and the distance between them couldn't have left more than five feet of open space. The shelves were bare and there was a ladder with wheels at the bottom affixed to a bar along the top shelf taking up a little of that precious space.

All of this left Nathan feeling slightly claustrophobic as well, but knew it wouldn't serve them well if they both freaked out and Haley looked like she was about to do just that. Her eyes were bulging out and her body was stiff. "Listen, you feel that? It has air conditioning. We're fine in here," Nathan said convincingly.

Haley nodded trying to steal some of his confidence. She glanced at her legs as a burning pain kicked in. In addition to her skinned knees, there were some severe rug burns on both of them that were sprinkled with specks of blood.

"You okay?" Nathan asked following her gaze. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to throw you down like that."

"You saved my life," Haley said emotionally. She still hadn't process that all the way through, but she knew it was true.

"I did what anyone else would do," Nathan said dismissively.

"No. You reacted so fast—before I even knew what was happening!"

"Well, you knew just how to handle that last guy. How did you know to say that? Did learn how to play psychological mind games with thugs in one of your classes?"

Haley emitted a soft chuckle. "Actually, I saw it on _Oprah_."

"_Oprah_?"

"On a show, they mentioned how it was smart to try and make a connection in that type of situation. I guess it helps if they think of you as a person."

"You kept a cool head so you could do that. It was pretty impressive."

Haley couldn't let go of how his reflexes saved her in the first place. In the end, their combined efforts only got them so far. There was nothing they could do not. They were trapped. Her panic began to return. "You think we'll be in here long?"

"No. It sounded like the cops where already on their way."

"What if they came and now we're trapped with them still here? Like being held hostage."

"Don't worry. Those guys don't seem like they have solid plan and they're going to trip up."

"He shot that guard!"

"Just his leg. They don't want to kill anyone. Trust me, they're not hard-core. They probably didn't even plan this well and they will get caught," Nathan said with certainty.

Haley began to feel the same pounding in her chest in her head. It made her slightly dizzy. "I think I need to sit down," she mumbled.

The safe room was long and narrow and only had enough room for them to sit down and stretch out if they sat pressed up against each other side by side along the back wall. So, that's what they did. It was similar to being in that elevator, except the width in this room was narrower. The cramped situation became easier to bear when Nathan put his arm around Haley and she leaned and put her head on his shoulder. Things had changed since their first encounter, as both felt at ease with their closeness this time around.

Nathan grew nervous as Haley continued to breathe heavily. He figured it was best take a page out of her book and get her thinking about something other than their situation. "So, you're not really pregnant are you?" He asked jokingly.

Haley laughed. "No, most definitely not."

"You came up with that story pretty fast."

"I don't know where it came from. I don't even want to have kids."

Nathan cocked his head and tried to get a peek at her face. All he could make out were that her eyes were closed and her breathing returned to normal. Good. This was working. She was relaxing. "You're just saying that. I don't believe you."

"No. I really don't. My focus is my career. Children would change that."

"But you told me that you were close with your nephew; the one you stayed for in Texas."

Haley straightened up as she thought about her sister and nephew. "I know and I love that kid so much—I love all my nieces and nephews…I just don't feel like I have to have kids just to fit some societal norm. It's just not for me."

It still didn't make sense to Nathan. He could tell Haley would be great with children. "Are you not able to?" Nathan asked hesitantly.

"It's nothing like that!"

"You just used that invitro thing and seemed to know what you were talking about."

"My sister, Vivian had invitro," Haley explained. She released a heavy sigh realizing she probably should give Nathan the full story for him to understand how serious she was about the direction of her life. "Vivian and her husband, Jay, tried for years to have a child. Eventually, they went to some doctors and I guess they both had some problems—"

"You had to tell him that _I had a problem_," Nathan interjected with a chuckle.

Haley smiled and bobbed her head. "It just came out that way," she said flipping hands up in a helpless manner.

After they shared a laugh, Nathan grew serious as he watched her. He loved seeing her like this. The truth was, besides the prospective danger lurking outside, he didn't mind being stuck in this situation with her at all. "So, your sister ended up having that done?"

Haley nodded. "But it wasn't easy. It took several tries—see, this was over twelve years ago and there have been many medical advances since then. The drugs she had to take were horrible. They messed with her body, made her moody and irritable….and it cost them a lot of money. But it was worth it," she said with a sense of satisfaction, "because in the end, we got Michael."

"Why did you move down there?"

"Because Jay left." Haley watched as Nathan's eye brows shot up in surprise. "Yeah, I know. After all that, he just packed up everything, left a note and that was it. He was gone."

"He left his kid?"

"He sure did," Haley spat out. "And he's never looked back."

"Was it because of the money?"

"The invitro did take a financial toll of them, but it was more than that. I think it was hard for him to deal with Michael's diagnosis. When he was four, Michael was diagnosed with autism."

"Oh," Nathan said uncomfortably. "I don't know much about that."

"I can't pretend it's not difficult. It involves a lot of patience, but when you love someone, I think that just comes; at least for most people. I don't know what happened with Jay, but I've seen how much my sister loves him. He's everything to her. I know that if I had kids, I would feel the same way. I also know that it's completely possible to have your other half that you trust to spend your whole life with and go on that journey of being a parent with, leave you. I'm not prepared for that. I don't want to be a single parent and I don't want a child to be the center of my world. It's not fair to have a child when you feel like that. A child should have a parent that is willing to make them their top priority no matter what happens. I could do it, but _I don't want to_. I know it's selfish, but in the end, it's how I feel. I want my life to be my career. I want to touch more lives than just one."

Nathan was dumbfounded at this explanation for not waning children. He never heard anything like it and it didn't sound selfish at all. In fact, he was right there with her about not wanting children, but his reasons were far less noble. He was just scared of turning into his father and screwing up his kids. He looked at Haley and gave her a reassuring smile. "It makes sense to me."

"Thanks. It was probably more than you wanted to know. I just didn't want you to think that it was Michael or his diagnosis that scared me off. I love being around him. He's one of the most creative people I know. He just sees things in a way that is so inspiring!"

"So, what's wrong with him, then?" Nathan asked curiously.

Haley sighed with frustration. "I hate it when people say things like that! It's not like there's something _wrong_! His brain just works _differently_ than most people. He's just _different_. Everyone is different in their own way; it's just more noticeable with him and the world needs to learn how to adapt to him instead of vice versa! If people would just take the time to do that and be accepting of people's differences, they would be better people. I know that firsthand!"

Nathan was shamed into silence. This was more than an emotional outburst. It was something she passionately believed in and had personal experience with. He felt horrible that he'd said something so offensive that highlighted his ignorance.

Haley knew she overreacted. It wasn't the first time that happened. "I'm sorry. I was just venting. I'm pretty sensitive about it. Technically speaking, it is a _mental disorder_," Haley said letting the last two words reluctantly roll off her tongue. "Ugh! I even hate using that term."

"I honestly don't know anything about it," Nathan said still embarrassed.

"I know. You said that," Haley sighed upset that she went off on him like that. "Trust me when I tell you this is _my issue_ and has nothing to do with you."

"Well, tell me about it. Tell me why this gets you so fired up," Nathan suggested sounding interested.

"Okay," Haley said slightly nervous. She wasn't used to have a captive audience like this, especially with someone of Nathan's caliber. He had just become her hero, which seriously boosted him up on the ladder of the sexy scale. Then, there were all the other things she was starting to notice about him. Those things were causing some other feelings inside of her, all unconnected to his physical appearance. He was a pretty perceptive guy and a great listener, making this much easier for her to talk about.

"Here's the thing," Haley began. "Michael is the sweetest kid and he's very sensitive, but most people don't see that. We first noticed the differences with him as a baby. He wasn't good at eye contact and didn't babble or smile. He also hated hugs and other types of physical contact. It doesn't mean that he doesn't feel things though. He does, he just can't express them the same way you or I do." Haley sighed heavily as she thought about one of the issues that scare off most people about autism. "He also throws these horrible tantrums, but again, he's just expressing himself the only way he knows how. They're all triggered by things he doesn't understand; things his brain interprets differently that the rest of the world."

"Like what?" Nathan asked.

"Normally, our brains filter out things all day, so you're not aware of them…Like right now, there's that light bulb hanging down from the middle of the ceiling." Haley looked around some more. She pointed to the upper left corner of the ceiling. "And you're right. There's the air conditioning vent. I bet if we listened hard, we'd hear the air coming in." Haley tried to focus on other things of this nature. "And your leg is touching mine, but I bet you don't feel that—"

"I do," Nathan smiled looking down. He began scratching her back with the hand still extended around her. "And I feel this too. Trust me; my body is very aware of all the ways we're touching right now."

Haley's entire face and neck flushed over. He was teasing her, but he was also being so tender, especially with the way he was alternating between scratching and rubbing her back. She fought off the urge to let go of herself and fall back against him and feel the security of that arm around her again along with the comfort of his shoulder. Unable to look in his eyes, she looked at his chest. She could see his chest rising and falling in the black sweatshirt. She slowly lifted her eyes up and stopped on his lips. She regretted not seizing the opportunity last night to see what they felt like. She smiled as she remembered how her mother made fun of her for pulling out her psychology card when he tried to make a move on her on the dance floor.

"What's so funny?" Nathan asked, moving his hand to her side and giving it a playful squeeze.

Haley squirmed, brushing her shoulder into him.

"You're ticklish!" Nathan smiled broadly.

"No, no!" Haley protested as she looked around. There really was no place to move to….not that she wanted to move anyway. He'd just picked up on one of her secrets. The only other person who knew just how ticklish she was…_dead._ Instead of being sad about that, she was surprised at how nice it was to have Nathan be the one to bring out that side of her again.

Nathan contemplated taking this a step further but stopped. He wanted to hear the rest of what Haley had to say. "I'll stop if you finish what you were telling me…about Michael and how your brain filters out stuff…"

Haley smiled happy to see he had been listening. "The normal brain filters out billions of pieces of information and simulation all day. Like when you play basketball…I bet you don't even see the crowd."

Nathan nodded. "I'm in the zone."

"And when we were at the coffee shop," Haley continued, "we were blocking out all the other things going on—"

"So we could focus on each other," Nathan piped in. It was like then when we were dancing too. It was as if they were the only ones in the room. He understood exactly what she was talking about.

Haley wasn't sure if he meant it, but once again, the way he said that sent a round butterflies fluttering in her stomach. This time, she quickly regrouped. "Yes…Well in most cases of autism, the brain doesn't filter properly so overstimulation can happen when there's a lot of things going on. All the information is brought to his consciousness; at least that's how it is with Michael. He used to have trouble at the supermarket, especially when someone would get on the loudspeaker. He'd cover his ears and just scream and nothing would get him to stop."

"Wow! I think I assumed some kid at the store like that was screaming because their mom wouldn't get them a candy bar."

"For most, that's probably true, but not Michael. He's come a long way though. He's better with the eye contact and he talks to us now."

"He didn't talk?" As hard as he tried, Nathan couldn't imagine a child that didn't talk.

"Not for a long time. He could; he just chose not to. He didn't see that value in it and had other forms of communication. I always knew what he wanted and so did his mom, of course. Then, we he got to school, we started to see how that wasn't necessarily a good thing because although he could communicate with us, he couldn't with other people. It's like we were enabling him. Do you know what that is?" As soon as the question was out of her mouth, she realized how condescending that sounded. Her mother was always warning her about doing that. Luckily, Nathan didn't seem to take offence.

Nathan nodded. "My mom had a problem with pills and alcohol. I know all about that." Not wanting things to shift to him, Nathan quickly turned his attention back to Haley. "So, is that why you went into psychology?"

"Yes. In that way, Michael's given me that gift. He's helped me see the world in a new way and taught me to value our differences and take the time to see all the things each person has to offer to us. He's given me much more than I've given him. Now, I want to give back and try to help people like him—kids with autism, their parents, teachers…"

"So, you don't want to do therapy?"

"No, I do," Haley tried to explain. "I believe in behavioral cognitive therapy and think it could be used with autistic children. It involves using a system of rewards and punishments to foster their communication skills. I think that's the direction I want to go in ultimately. I just don't know what setting yet. I could do research, home visits, work in office, a school….Right now, my work at Muller and Rimkus is for my certification hours both for my Ph.D and to get licensed as a psychologist."

"So you can prescribe drugs?"

"No; that's psychiatrist. They go to medical school. I want to be more of a therapist."

"It kind of sucks that you have to work with people like me instead of working with autistic children, huh? Do you really just have to wait until you get licensed?"

Haley paused knowing where the path this explanation was going to take her to. She decided to go for it. She owed him that considering what he'd just done for her. She looked into his bright blue eyes and tried not to think about how they might fill with disappointment once she finally told him everything. "I'm part of this study with my real mentor, Dr. Green. She kind of a bigwig at Stanford and has an extensive background in the research of autism. I'm going to write a dissertation on the first year of my work for my Ph.D."

"She's not like Rimkus, is she?" Nathan asked.

"No. She's the opposite…Maybe she just does too much though because I still can't believe how she let me work under someone like Rimkus. A lot of people who do research can become so heavily invested in it that sometimes they can't see outside of it. I bet that's what happened with Dr. Green. _I know that's what happened with me, too_."

Nathan knew from the way Haley was biting her lip she was nervous about something. "What happened with you?"

"Don't hate me. Please tell me that you'll hear me out before you make up your mind."

Nathan had to laugh at how nervous she was. He had no idea what she was going to say, but there was nothing that was going to make him hate her. "Haley, I'm not going anywhere." He saw she was still just as nervous so he gave her a reassuring smile as he playfully pinched her elbow. "You can tell me anything."

In her heart, Haley felt this was true. How could that feeling be so strong already? She attributed to the dire circumstances of the day messing with her psyche. "First, let me tell you about the study. It's a five year grant and our goal is to help children with autism learn to have better communication skills so their lives will be easier as adults. My nephew actually has Asperger's which is considered high-functioning on the autistic spectrum. Like I said before, he is doing so much better with his communication skills and it may be because he was part of an early-intervention program he was involved in at school. We kind of want to do see just how true that kind of thing is as we look at kids with autism on various parts of the scale and other variables, such as if they have siblings, two parents, close families; things like that. Then eventually, we'll try and help them. It's a lot more complicated than that, but those are the basics."

"It sounds like this is real important to you. I can see why you're so passionate about your career."

Oddly enough, this is exactly what Haley wanted to hear before she revealed her secret. "I think Rimkus is blackmailing me," she blurted out.

"What?"

"I'm not sure, but that's what it feels like. She's holding this study over my head. No, wait, that's not exactly how it started," Haley reluctantly admitted, anxious not to hold anything back. "First, she bribed me. She offered me use of their office space once we got to the next phase of the study…" She paused and closed her eyes. She opened them back up and looked Nathan directly in the eye ready to feel his anger at her; it would help ease the guilt. "I agreed to take you on as a patient so I could have that space and get her to help me spend more time with one of our subjects." Haley watched Nathan carefully but the only shift in his eyes was maybe to one of surprise.

Nathan took this all in. Haley was actually human. As she had been talking about her nephew and this study, he was getting ready to nominate her for sainthood. Turns out, she was more like him that he first thought. "You made a mistake, Haley. It happens all the time. Don't beat yourself up over it."

Haley's heart began to race. Did she hear him correctly? Had he once again, said exactly the right thing at the right time? "You're not mad? Or hurt?"

"Last night I was upset when I learned that she forced you to take me on, but I got over it. Once I thought it over, I started to be more upset with her than you." And he was upset with himself for arranging the whole thing to begin with. Although this was perhaps the most opportune time he'd ever have to come clean, there was no way he was going to do that. Their situation was just too one-sided. He needed Haley much more than she needed him and in more ways than one. The more time he spent with her, the stronger he was convinced of that. It was that conviction that kept him up all night and led to him driving to her place at the crack of dawn so he wouldn't miss her leaving for work. He still had that same determination not to let her walk out of her life as they sat in that safe room. If anything, that determination was becoming stronger.

"But I took a bribe. That was me, Nathan!"

"I've done worse. So have most people. Think of it like this—brownie points to kiss up to your teacher."

"It wasn't like that and now that I gave in, I feel like she's threatening me. I feel like its spiraling out of control and now I have to do whatever she says!"

Nathan was consumed with guilt since he kicked off this chain of events. "I should have stuck with that guy doctor."

"It's not your fault. He passed you off to Rimkus and she passed you off to me."

Nathan felt even worse. She had no clue about his involvement in the switch or the lengths he went to make it happen. "Haley, is there any way that you don't have to work with these people?"

"No. I'm too far in my program and the study—I can't let Dr. Green down or all of the other people involved. This was a major grant Stanford landed. It's very prestigious, not to mention how important it is."

Nathan decided he was going to take care of it in his own way. He was too far in as well to let it go. "Just, uh, don't let Rimkus push you around. Stand up to her."

"My mom said the same thing."

"You told your mom?"

"I tell my mom everything."

There it was again; the sadness in her eyes. He decided not to pursue that for the time being. "I bet she's cool. Nothing like my mom. She's out there, even now that she's clean."

"Do you see her much?"

"Not really. She travels a lot. She did when I was younger too. She did a lot of charity work and….Hell, I don't know what she's doing these days. I stopped paying attention when heard she was seeing a guy I used to play ball with."

Haley couldn't stifle her smile. "Skills?"

"I keep forgetting you're from Tree Hill! Yeah," he admitted. "I guess Luke told you. Crazy shit. At least one of us has sane parents. I bet yours are happily married and corny as hell…" Nathan trailed off when he heard a soft sob escape Haley's lips and felt the slight quiver from her body. He silently chastised himself for saying that. He pulled Haley into his side and her head fell on his shoulder. "I'm sorry. I don't know why I said that."

"I bet Luke told you they were like that. I'm just surprised he didn't tell you everything."

Nathan thought about this. He didn't remember Luke talking to him about Haley's parents, but who knew…maybe he did at some point. Nathan couldn't deny he tuned Luke out half of the time, especially when he was going through one of rough spurts. The last two years playing for a farm team instead of the N.B.A. had given him many rough spurts. He mulled over Haley's words, picking up on her use of past tense. "Did they get a divorce?"

Haley lifted her head up and turned and looked at Nathan. "My dad died."

If possible, Nathan felt a fraction of her pain as their eyes locked. "I'm so sorry."

"It's okay. It was over a year ago. It was pretty sudden-a heart attack."

Nathan couldn't stop his own thoughts from turning to his father. Figures someone like Dan with a real medical heart condition was alive and rotting away in prison while a decent person like Haley's dad was taken from her. "Life is not fair," Nathan said disgustedly. As he watched Haley fiddle with her hands, he instinctively knew she wanted to talk about this, even it was hard. "What was it like? Losing someone like that…The only person I lost was Keith and we weren't that close."

Haley stared at Nathan trying to figure out why he was asking her something like that. "You really want to know?"

"Only if you want to tell me."

She did. It wasn't just the circumstances they were in either that were allowing her to open up. It was that he had the guts to ask her about something so many other people shied away from. No one really wanted to hear that kind of thing. If they bothered to ask, they usually just wanted to hear reassurances that time was helping, people were supportive, you think about the good times, blah...blah…blah. So, she was forced to keep it all bottled up inside, not wanting to burden anyone, especially not her family members who were feeling the same kinds of things.

The second Haley decided to let those emotions boil to the surface, she began crying. Her tears were silent, but steadily flowing down her face as she continued to stare at Nathan unflinchingly. "It hurts….so…bad," she said slowly and clearly.

Nathan's own eyes began to water. Her strength was amazing to watch. She was fighting with everything she had to keep from letting herself go. He saw a weaker version of himself in her eyes because he knew that battle. The difference was that he let all his bottled up emotions get the best of him, while Haley redirected hers in a positive way through her work. This realization hit him like a tidal wave. He pulled Haley into his arms and gave her a fierce hug, just as much as a source of comfort for him as her.

Once her head hit the crux of his shoulder, Haley's silent tears transformed into a series of audible sobs. She breathed in his scent, felt the softness of his sweatshirt on her face and security of his arms on her back and it gave her the refuge she hadn't realize she'd been craving for so long. In that moment she knew. _He was it_. He was everything she'd ever wanted. How the hell did that happen? She didn't even know she wanted someone and certainly hadn't been looking.

As his grip on her loosened, reality began to set in. She was being overly emotional. This was the first person who was reaching out to her. They had just been through a traumatic ordeal. They were still in the midst of it; she'd almost forgotten that. Her science background told her brain was making false associations as a defensive mechanism.

Just as quickly, another voice crept into her mind—her mother's—chiding her for using science as an excuse to explain away her emotions. At a loss for which direction to go in, Haley turned her thoughts back to what left her so unhinged in the first place. She hoped by talking more about that, it would give her the clarity she was searching for. She twisted around so the back of her head was resting against Nathan's chest and got comfortable. His arms fell over hers. This was good. His touch again brought her that security, but not having to look in his eyes as she talked helped her think more rationally.

"In some ways it was good that he died suddenly; at least for him. We wouldn't have wanted him to suffer. But…" Haley hesitated unsure of whether she wanted to voice this deep inner thought. She was slightly ashamed of it.

"But what?" Nathan asked his own voice cracking. He was very emotional as well.

"I think it was harder on us. We didn't expect it. We didn't get to say goodbye. I've read that when you learn someone is going to die, the grieving process starts then. You begin processing it. Now, I don't know which is worse—watching someone you love slowly die or losing them in a flash. I just know how many regrets I have."

"I'm sure he knew—"

Nathan and Haley straightened up as the light bulb flickered. Nathan moved out from under Haley and headed towards the front of the room by the door. He put his ear to the door.

"Can you hear anything?" Haley asked.

Nathan jumped when he realized Haley was right behind him. "I'm not sure, but I feel like someone's out there." He turned around to face her. For some reason he felt like when that door opened everything was going to change…and he was probably going to lose her.

Haley put her hand to his chest. "Nathan, I want to thank you—"

Nathan couldn't listen to anything like that. He began speaking in staggered breaths, "Haley,… have you ever felt something _so_ _strong_….something that you know you _shouldn't_ be feeling and…no matter how hard you try to push it away…._you can't_."

Haley dropped her hand from his chest, floored at how he was plucking her thoughts from her head.

"You can't think you're way out of it," Nathan continued. "It's…just too _strong_. It's maybe _the strongest thing you've ever felt._"

"Yes," Haley said breathing hard.

Nathan moved towards Haley as if propelled by a force of nature. His lips seized Haley's taking in her sweet taste for a moment that didn't last long enough. He pulled away studying her reaction nervously.

"You shouldn't have done that," Haley said furrowing her brow.

"But I wanted to," Nathan said not taking his eyes off of hers.

Haley catapulted herself towards Nathan, draping her arms around his neck. She leaned up on the tip of her bare toes, just as Nathan leaned down. She kissed him with the ferocity that matched the desires she'd been suppressing. As he kissed her back, she became lost in him. It just when she felt the tip of his tongue on her lips the light flickered again.

After the last flicker, came darkness and an eerie silence as the air conditioning vent stopped.

Haley kept her hands firmly planted around Nathan's neck. "What just happened?"

"I think the electricity went out."

"Nathan," Haley said frantically pulling her hands away. Just as quickly, his hands found hers and clasped over them. "This room has one of those electric switchpads for the code. It's like the one we have at our office. I saw it when we came in. That means we're stuck in here. Like really stuck!"

Nathan knew she was right. He'd seen the same switchpad. He also knew that without the air conditioning in there, it was going to get really hot, really fast.

* * *

><p>Preview of next chapter: "The Storm" (Lifehouse)<p>

AN: Another important song for chapter 9! One quick point I want to make. My story map is pretty detailed at this point. W/this story, I am purposely leaving out some scenes so the reader isn't fully aware of everything going on. That is new technique for me and I didn't do that with my other stories. So far, I did that when I left out the Nathan/Rimkus scene which you know now is pretty important. There are at least two more times coming up when I do that and they are actually Naley scenes. They will play out in flashbacks later on. I just don't want you to think I am rewriting history later on and if there are some things that leave you confused, that may have been intentional due to the skipped scenes. You can always shoot me a pm and I can clarify or spoil it for you! It all comes together in the end though, I promise.

Thanks for all the encouraging reviews for this story! It motivated me to fine tune my map and I have to say that I'm pretty pleased with it. Good stuff coming up.

Thanks for your patience as you wait for my posts! I need a little bit more time before I put the next one up. So, you learned more about Haley's background. Thoughts? Where are you on the love vs. career debate? You will see that theme constantly in this story and it goes back and forth as circumstances change. I'd love to hear what you think!


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer #1**: Characters, minor plot points and dialogue belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and _One Tree Hill_ writers.

**Disclaimer #2**: Although my career is in the field of psychology, I have taken a lot of liberties with my story. My background is nothing like Haley's in this story. Her story only has _a little_ basis in reality. I know many people in that field who have given me inspiration for details here and there, but this situation is entirely fictional. Please don't take what you read as fact, especially when it comes to the research discussed and ethics of practicing psychology. As with all my stories, you have to use the suspension of disbelief, just as you do with our favorite tv show. The examples in this story are merely for plot purposes. If you do have questions or concerns about the psychological elements of the story, please feel free to pm. I'd love to discuss!

Special thanks to beach lovers **CoachMom**, **Chat1** and **Motolid **for help and inspiration! There's a little here and more in upcoming chapters!

Chapter 9: "The Storm" (Lifehouse)

Nathan couldn't believe how dark it was in there. There was absolutely no light at all. He thought about their surroundings. He remembered seeing some items on the top shelf over by the vent. One of them might have been a flashlight. "Haley, I'm going to see if I can find a flashlight."

Haley grabbed the sleeve of his sweatshirt. "Wait! I don't want to lose you." As soon as the words were out of her mouth, she realized how stupid that sounded. "Sorry. Go ahead."

Nathan gave her arm a comforting squeeze and moved towards the ladder. He felt around, getting his bearings and began to take some steps up. He reached over and felt along the shelves. Nothing. He took a few more steps up and felt around on the higher shelves. There was something to his left, just out of his reach. He got down from the ladder, pushed it a little to his left and went back up. He felt a stack of papers, some leather zip pouches and finally, a flashlight. "Got it!"

He felt around some more, but felt nothing useful. He climbed down and after reaching the ground, flipped the switch on the flashlight. To his dismay, nothing happened. He twisted off the top and moved around the batteries. As soon as he put the cover back on, a dim light filled the air. He finished twisting on the cap and moved the light toward Haley. She looked terrified as she stood in front corner of the room. "Haley, come here. Let's sit down again."

Haley shook her head. "I don't want to get settled! I want to get out!"

"There's nothing we can do. I'm sure they're working on it and it won't be long anyway."

"You don't know that!"

"Was I really that bad at kissing? You want out that bad?" Nathan teased her.

"No! Yes! I mean," Haley stomped her foot in frustration. "I'm nervous about being around you now."

Nathan moved to the back of the room and shifted down, sitting in the same place as before. He shined the light ahead of him, lighting the way for Haley to join him. "I won't kiss you again. Now, get your ass over here and keep me company!"

Haley let out a small smile. He just had this way with her, she couldn't explain. She slowly walked over and gingerly took the seat next to him. "Happy, now?"

"Yes…and for the record, if _you _want to kiss _me_ again, I'm fine with that!"

Haley ignored him and examined the flashlight. "It's barely working. Maybe we should shut it off."

"As long as you're not afraid of the dark," Nathan said spookily as he put the flashlight under his chin.

Haley laughed. As soon as the flashlight was off, she thought about the dark circles under his eyes. "Are you tired, Nathan? Have you been sleeping?" She asked seriously.

"You know the answer to that question," Nathan shot out harshly thinking of the questionnaire he filled out for her.

Haley cringed. "No, I didn't mean it that way. This isn't a therapy session. Damn it! My mom told me not to do that!"

"Do what?" Nathan asked curiously.

"Talk to you like a therapist," Haley said not paying attention to what she was saying. She was desperate to shift the atmosphere back to the one they had earlier. "Sometimes I say things in a way that makes them sound cold and like…"

"A doctor? That's what you want to be, right?"

"That's not the point. I have this science background so sometimes I talk to people in a way that's not so warm or I try to explain things they're not interested in. I think I'm helping, but my mom says sometimes I'm just acting like a giant nerd."

Nathan laughed. He hadn't met Haley's mom, but she sounded like a character. "Well, you are a nerd. You were even that way in high school. I know that because you hung around with Luke."

"Hpmh," Haley scoffed. "Well you ended up hanging out with him, too, so what does that make you?"

"A lover of nerds," Nathan responded quickly, elbowing her purposefully.

Haley was grateful he couldn't see her blush. She knew it was an innocent comment. It was, right?

Nathan felt around and playfully squeezed her elbow. "Seriously, Haley, don't change who you are; not for anyone."

Haley breathed in and out and pushed her hair back behind her ear. She wasn't sure if she was getting hot from the rising air temperature or the words Nathan kept throwing her way. It was probably both. "My mom doesn't want me to change," Haley felt compelled to explain. "She's a real free spirit and accepts all her of kids for who we are. It's more that she has this fantasy of me that's not going to happen."

"The kids thing?"

"And husband—That's not happening either! The only thing I'm going to be married to is my work." Haley kept her mother's latest ideas to herself and only let out a highly censored version. "She thinks I work too much and don't have any fun. She doesn't realize how much I love my job!"

"She's your mom. Cut her a break. At least she cares."

"You're right. We're pretty close, too. I'm very lucky." Silence fell as Haley waited for Nathan to respond. She was hoping he would jump in and say something about his parents. When he didn't, she figured he was still stuck on her acting like a therapist. This disappointed her. Could he see that was all gone now? There was no way that could continue anyway. Desperate to reconnect with him, she blurted the first thing that came to mind as she thought about those circles under his eyes. "I have nightmares."

"What?"

"One really, but it's reoccurring. I have it at least once a week. It's a horrible dream and I know why I have it. It's not really hard to figure out. It's all about my father and it must have to do with his death since it started after he died. The problem is it bothers me so much that when I have it, it wakes me up and I can't fall back asleep. It takes me right out of my REM cycle, which isn't good. See, we need to get as much REM every night as possible since it's the most restorative part of sleep and that comes in cycles. The periods of REM increase as the night goes on, so when you wake up, you have to start the cycle over again and don't get so much. On a normal night the first period of REM only lasts five minutes—"

"Haley, you're doing that thing," Nathan interrupted her with a small laugh. "That thing your mom said you do."

"Oh," Haley said embarrassed.

"I don't mind," Nathan said sincerely. "It's just that I had to tell you. I actually think it's kind of funny." He nudged her with his arm. "And cute."

Haley became flustered. She noticed the beads of sweat forming in her joints. "Is it hot in here? I feel really hot!"

"Yeah, it's getting hot," Nathan sighed. "I just might have to take off this sweatshirt." He was starting to get really sweaty under there.

Haley looked away as she thought about how much trouble she was in if he did that. She could only imagine the effect a shirtless Nathan would have on her body. She began to breathe heavily thinking about it.

Nathan was worried when he saw Haley struggling to breathe. "I have trouble falling asleep. Some nights it doesn't even happen." Take last night for example. One anxious thought was all it took to wind him up and last night it was Haley and that dance.

Haley decided to tread carefully. She didn't want to tell him she believed he might have chronic insomnia. "It can't be good for you."

"I don't need much sleep anyway. Four hours is good for me."

Haley widened her eyes at Nathan and shook her head. "That is not good. You need to get more than that, especially when you have those tryouts!"

"It's been that way for a while. I play fine on no sleep."

"But, Nathan," Haley said seriously as turned her body to face him, "think about how much _better_ you would be if you had a good night's sleep. If you've come this far doing that, you'd be even better, I promise you. Your body will be rested; you'll be able to think clearer." Haley fell back against the wall, this time leaning slightly on Nathan. "I bet you don't even know what a good night sleep feels like. You don't know what you're missing!"

"Okay, Doc."

Haley twisted and put her hand on his chest. "I didn't mean it that way."

Nathan laughed. "I was teasing." He thought over what Haley said. "You know I spent two years on the D-Fenders. Maybe if I didn't have those sleep problems…"

Haley agreed it could part of the reason why he wasn't pulled up sooner. She thought about his anger issues as well. "Lack of sleep makes you more irritable, too. You also need that REM to consolidate your memory, sharpen you reflexes—"

"I get it, Haley." Anxious to get away from talking about himself, he over and clasped his hand over hers. "Tell me about your nightmare," he said gently.

Haley closed her eyes. She didn't mind thinking about it. It would give her a chance to see her father, even in that negative context. It came to her vividly. "I'm in the ocean and there's a really bad storm. I'm deep under the water, but somehow I know it's thundering and lightening above. I try to move, but I can't. I look up and at first all I can see is a blinding light, but it's not the lightening. I fight harder to see what it is. Suddenly, I'm almost at the surface and I can see my father clearly above. He's just watching me. I struggle to get to him—that's when I realize that I can't breathe. I start to panic and break through to the surface….but he's gone. The waves are violent and crashing over my head. They carry me away. I start to lose control and I swear I can taste the salt water in my mouth. Then-and this is the most disturbing part to me-I just give up. I let the waves take me under. I sink towards the ocean floor. Just before I hit the bottom, I wake up."

Haley opened her eyes and regained control of her senses. Her heart was racing and cheeks were wet. Her head was resting on Nathan's shoulder and his hand was tucked in around her waist. Emotional and embarrassed, Haley put her head down in an effort to hide from Nathan.

Nathan leaned down and lifted her chin up. He thumbed away her tears. "You don't have to hide, not from me."

"It just brings back some of the sadness. I can usually fight it off, but I don't know what's wrong with me now." This time, Haley wiped away her own tears. When she felt better, she looked to Nathan. Despite the darkness, she could make out the deep shade of his blue eyes. She could get lost in those eyes; she already had.

"I guess you hate the beach, huh?" Nathan asked disappointedly.

"No! I love the beach and I'm a great swimmer! Other than my dad and the fact that he liked to fish, I have no idea where that dream came from!"

Nathan studied her carefully. "I can you see you more clearly now. It was so dark earlier, but now I can see…" He could see her slightly run her bottom lip through her teeth. He also thought he could see a hint of blush across her cheeks. More importantly, he could see _her_…_the real her_. He was sure that the nightmare held a deeper significance for her, even if she couldn't see it. It was all about her hiding, most likely from the pain of losing her father.

Haley was unnerved by the idea that he could be speaking metaphorically. She quickly tried to find the scientific explanation for this. "It makes sense. Our retinas are made up of rods and cones. They are both receptors for light, but the rods are sensitive to color and color is just a reflection of light. When it's dark, the cones shut down and rods become more active, which are better for seeing detail. So our eyes adjust as,…" Haley trailed of taking deep breaths as she realized that she had started her science babble again and he'd let her. She could make at that trace of a smirk on his face showing his amusement. She tried to regain her thoughts. "Our eyes adjust to the darkness and the rods—" She stopped talking knowing she could not stare at those lips any longer.

Nathan was caught off guard as Haley started to move in towards him. At first, he leaned back, but after he caught on to what was going on, he relaxed. He used every sheer ounce of willpower in him not to close the distance between them. He had made her a promise and had every intention of keeping it.

As Haley let her lips linger next to his, she understood that she needed to make the move. She started with a soft kiss and followed up with a stronger one. As he started kissing her back, Haley shifted to her knees and leaned into him. Kissing him was something she could seriously get used to.

Nathan's back hit the wall and he moved his hands to her back. Overcome with heat, Nathan's body responded on its own. He pushed Haley back and began taking off his sweatshirt. He moved it to the side and prepared to go back to Haley. To his chagrin, she had moved too far back. "I'm sorry. I was just so hot."

Haley couldn't believe he had a t-shirt on underneath that sweatshirt. She could tell it was damp with sweat. She stared at his chest as it heaved up and down. "You must be dying." She picked up the tip of her own shirt and fanned it from her body. She was starting to sweat more as well. She unbuttoned the top few buttons of her shirt and moved back to Nathan's side. He was right and it was probably a good idea to cool things down.

Nathan cursed himself for breaking up their tryst. She now was at his side, her head on his shoulder breathing heavy. The heat had put and to their kissing and he doubted it would resume anytime soon. The longer they were in there, the hotter it was going to get. The air was stagnant and started to send off a foul odor. They had to focus on other things. "Tell me what you love about the beach."

"The beach!" Haley giddily exclaimed just thinking about it. "I love everything about it! I love the feel of the sun heating up my body. I love the waves coming in right over my feet, when you go for walks. I love looking for shells. I used to have contests with my brothers and sisters to find the best ones. My mom was supposed to be the judge but she would come up with all these wacky categories so we'd all win. And my dad used to find me sand dollars; little ones, big ones, white ones, brown ones. I loved them all! And my brother Todd would dig crabs out from under the rocks and chase my sister Quinn around with them!" Haley laughed at the memory. "But as much I have fun memories, I like the calmness too, like during sunsets….The sounds…birds, waves splashing. The smell of salt water…Looking out at the endless stretch of water…The tingle of sand, both when its dry and you can kick it around and when its wet and your foot pushes down over it and for a second you feel like you're sinking…I just love it all!" Haley sighed contentedly. She turned to Nathan. "What about you? Do you like the beach?"

"I do, especially at night when the sand is cool and the moon is out," Nathan smiled. "When we get out of here, I'd like to take you there. I know a really nice place."

"I'd like that," Haley mumbled. After that burst of excitement, she was starting to feel faint. The air was stuffy and it felt like there was a weight on her chest, making it harder to breathe. After a minute, her thoughts started to become incoherent due to the heat. She lifted her head up and grabbed Nathan's sweatshirt and used the sleeve to wipe the edges of forehead. "What time is it?" As she thought about it some more, she began to panic. She moved to her feet and began to pace. "Oh my God! What time do you think it is?"

Getting concerned, Nathan jumped up to his feet. "I don't know. It's been maybe an hour?" He guessed.

"So that would make it after ten." Haley put her hand to her forehead. "Oh, no! I have to get out of here soon! And I have to change! I can't meet Matthew like this!"

Nathan's heart skipped a beat at the sound of his name; Matthew. She had a lunch date with him. He grew angry at the thought. "He'll understand, Hales. And if he doesn't, he's an ass."

Haley stood still feeling a different kind of warmness deep inside of her. "You called me Hales," she smiled.

Again, Nathan realized it must have somehow come from Lucas. "Is that okay?"

Haley nodded and took a step closer to him. "My friends call me that."

Nathan's heart dropped. First a mention of her date, then a reference to him as a friend.

"Seriously, I don't know what I'm going to do!" Haley continued. "I usually leave by twelve thirty and it's a half hour away. I assume they won't just let us walk out of here. They'll want to talk to us. But if it gets to a certain point—I'll just leave. I can't be late. He'll flip out and it'll ruin everything. And I have to change too—"

"What the fuck, Haley?" Nathan asked angrily. "Why would you go for guy like that who doesn't know how a guy should treat a girl! He should be going to you. He should be planning things around your—"

Haley burst into laughter. She tried to stop long enough to tell Nathan about his misunderstanding, but she couldn't.

"What?" Nathan glowered. "Besides, you said your career comes first—"

"It does!" Haley protested while still laughing. "Matthew is not a guy. He's a four year old boy."

"Oh," Nathan said with a mixture of embarrassment and relief.

"Nathan, I can't believe you thought that! I told you I didn't have a boyfriend."

"No, you didn't. I asked you several times and you never gave me a straight answer."

Haley sighed. She had to set him straight now. Despite her feelings, she still had the same goals. "I don't have a boyfriend and I'm not looking for one either."

"So that kiss didn't mean anything to you?" Nathan challenged her.

"Which one?" Haley asked meekly.

It didn't matter. "Either one."

Haley began to feel dizzy. "I'm just so hot and confused right now. I can't think straight about anything."

"Right," Nathan said unconvinced. "I don't buy it."

"Look, I'm being honest. The only thing I can think about now is how I have to get to Matthew. It'll mess everything up if I get there late and mess up his routine. He won't trust me anymore. He won't act naturally." Haley helplessly walked to the door and banged her fists against it. "I just need to get out," she whined.

Nathan moved up behind her and put his hands and her shoulders. He began to gently massage them. "It'll be okay."

Haley fell back against him. "I don't know what I would do without you." She felt a bead of sweat drip down from her head. She issued a miserable laugh. "We're so gross right now."

Nathan brushed off the wet spot at the side of her neck with his thumb. He bent down and put his lips to that spot and gave her a soft kiss. He smirked when she jumped. He moved his lips to her ear. "I don't think so."

Haley spun around to face him. "What's going to happen when we get out of here? You won't do that then, will you?"

"Do you want me to?"

"I'm not your type, Nathan. You're not my type. This cannot work."

Nathan assumed she was referring to the therapy sessions. "What if we met some other way? Like back in Tree Hill or at Luke's—"

"Or at your last college game?" Haley spat out.

Nathan flinched. "It was a misunderstanding," he said weakly.

"You remember," Haley sharply accused him.

"I…I got caught up in the celebration. My teammates dragged me away," he said helplessly. He began to think twice as he saw she was angry. Where had that come from? "Is that why you hated me when we first met? You thought I stood you up?"

"You did stand me up!" Haley said stomping her foot. "I didn't even want to go, but Lucas, Peyton and Brooke dragged me there! Can you imagine how awkward that was for me? They were still going through that warped triangle of theirs! Then, the worst part was that I got _all dressed up_…and you took one look at me and ran away!"

"That's not what happened," Nathan said disgusted with himself. There was a lot more to the story, including details he wasn't willing to share. He was surprised Lucas hadn't sold him out about that. "Look, I made a mistake, okay? I make a lot of mistakes. Sometimes on my own….Sometimes because of my dad….But I don't want to make those mistakes anymore. I don't want to be that person."

Haley felt like pathetic school girl for guilting him like that. She didn't want his pity. "It was nothing really."

"Obviously it was. I didn't even think it mattered. Luke told me you didn't even care."

Haley was grateful Lucas covered for her. "I was disappointed," she admitted, "but only because Lucas really wanted me to meet you. It seemed important to him. But things wouldn't have been different, Nathan. We're two completely different people with different life goals."

"We're not that different." Nathan knew her scientific mind want some examples. "We both like the beach. We're pursuing our passions—"

"Two very different passions!"

Nathan couldn't hide that she offended him. "You think you're too good for me!" He snapped. "Yeah, right. It was me who ran from you that night. Keep telling yourself that! You would never want to be seen with a dumb jock like me anyway, huh? That's why this never would have worked out!"

"You're twisting my words!"

"You said they _dragged_ you there!" Nathan reminded her, raising his voice.

"You saw me! I know you did. You looked right at me, pretended not to see me and walked the other way!"

"You're hiding! You're hiding from everything-including how you feel about me!"

"Oh yeah? You want to know I feel? Let me tell you!" Haley was running on pure adrenaline as her mind raced. Things she didn't even consciously know she felt started to pour out of her. "_Every day_ I feel like I'm barely surviving. I hate getting up out of bed and the only reason I'm able to fall asleep is because I want to have those nightmares! As bad as they are, I get to see him _one more time_…and he's so clear in those dreams. I'm afraid that I'm going to forget what he looks like, so I want those dreams…and I look at his picture…_every day_…_Every day_, I feel that pain. People think you move on and it gets better. They even say time heals! Maybe for them it does, but it's them that forget. We don't. _I don't_. _This is what I feel every day of my life_."

Nathan took a step towards her, but Haley held out her hand fiercely.

"Get away from me! I'm done talking to you!"

"Haley, you have to talk about this. Isn't that what you've been telling me?"

"Don't you throw that in my face!"

As the lights came on, both stood in place, still focused on each other.

"I'm not!" Nathan protested. "You helped me and now I want to help you."

"Ha! Like _you_ can help _me_!"

"See…There you go again….Thinking you're too good for me."

They stopped shouting when the safe door opened up.

"I got two in here," a member of the SWAT team said.

Nathan and Haley stood glaring at each other with their arms crossed.

"Uh, you two want to come out?" The man asked.

Nathan gestured grandly for Haley to go first.

Haley rolled her eyes. "And for the record-I hate you for making say those things. It's bad enough I have to feel them!"

"Keep telling yourself that," Nathan said under his breath as he went back to retrieve his sweatshirt.

* * *

><p>Haley was pacing around an office of the bank with two bank employees, waiting to be questioned. The two employees were immersed in their own conversation, which was fine with her. She wasn't in the mood to talk with them and all she could think about was getting to Matthew. When she saw Nathan come in, she shook her head with irritation. Of course it was her luck that they would take him first and make her wait.<p>

He walked to her hand handed her a cold bottle of water. "Here. I tried to tell them you have to leave."

"Great. Now they'll probably make me wait longer."

Nathan knew she was right. The detectives seemed to think their job was the most important thing on earth and were aggravated that everyone was anxious to leave. He swore they were taking their sweet time and had just heard them talking about taking an extended lunch break. "Let me make this up to you."

"What?"

"Everything." He leaned close to her. "I'll get you out of here," he offered.

Haley looked at him with wide-eyes. "You can do that?"

"I'm free to go. There's a ton of people out there. We just have to walk out and if anyone asks, we tell them we're done. Then, I'll drive you where you need to go."

"You'd do that?"

"Just one catch…"

"I knew it!" Haley huffed. "What is it?"

"Then, _we're even_. You can't be mad at me for some stupid college game over two years ago-or _anything_ else I have might have done," he said vaguely. "We start fresh…And if you want to, you can walk away."

"You mean it?"

"I won't bother you. I promise. You have to promise me, too."

"I won't hold anything against you," Haley said sincerely.

"Anything? Any mistake I made, right? We start completely over…"

"Yes. Just get me out of here. If we go now, we have time to take a quick shower, change and can be there just on time!"

Nathan took her hand firmly and turned towards the door. "Follow my lead."

"Nathan, wait," Haley said urgently. She knew how he was putting himself out there for her, yet again. She also knew by letting him accompany her to her visit with Matthew, they were going to connect on an even deeper level. Children like Matthew brought people together like that. Knowing what was head, she owed it to him to fess up to her true feelings and move beyond their emotional argument in the safe room.

Nathan turned back to face her. He was startled at the intensity in her shining browning eyes.

"I couldn't walk away from you even if I wanted to."

Nathan nodded and gave her a slight smile. He knew that, but it felt good to hear it.

* * *

><p>Preview of next chapter: "Feeling a Moment" (Feeder)<p>

AN: Thanks for all of the reviews! Originally, I was going to wait to post this chapter until after Christmas since I assumed people were too busy to be reading. Your reviews, including the last few ones, proved otherwise. It is very encouraging! It does make me about worry about loss of interest w/my other story though. Not sure what to do about that. For now, I'm going to focus on the positive….this story!

I'm pretty nervous/excited about the next chapter. It introduces Matthew…Just remember my disclaimer. I did research and went off of some personal experience, but he isn't based on a real person. I love, love, love writing him though….just like I love my volunteer work! It is a very deep chapter and I hope it came out okay.

Although I have the next chapter ready, I probably won't post until after the holidays. Happy Holidays!


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer #1**: Characters, minor plot points and dialogue belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and _One Tree Hill_ writers.

**Disclaimer #2**: Although my career is in the field of psychology, I have taken a lot of liberties with my story. My background is nothing like Haley's in this story. Her story only has _a little_ basis in reality. I know many people in that field who have given me inspiration for details here and there, but this situation is entirely fictional. Please don't take what you read as fact, especially when it comes to the research discussed and ethics of practicing psychology. As with all my stories, you have to use the suspension of disbelief, just as you do with our favorite tv show. The examples in this story are merely for plot purposes. If you do have questions or concerns about the psychological elements of the story, please feel free to pm. I'd love to discuss!

Special thanks to **Chat1** for her help with this chapter!

Chapter 10: "Feeling a Moment" (Feeder)

As soon as they safely made it out of the bank and around the corner of the block, Haley stopped and picked a pebble out from her barefoot. "I can't believe they wouldn't let me take my shoes!"

"I thought that's what you stopped to get," Nathan said puzzled. She asked him to keep a lookout as she retrieved something from the crime scene in the lobby. They weren't supposed to touch any of that stuff until it was all photographed and scanned for fingerprints. Just as with the questioning, the detectives didn't seem to be in a rush to get that done.

"No, I stopped to sneak some things out of my bag," Haley said not wanting to tell him just what one of those things was. "I don't understand what the big deal is. They have the guys in custody."

"They're just doing things by the book. You know, they almost caught you sneaking around by your bag. I had to use my good looks to charm that female cop away from you."

Haley was sure he didn't mind doing that. She tried not to let that get her jealous. He was doing it for her. "Thanks."

"Let me do a little more for you." Nathan stopped in front of her. "Get on my back. I'll carry you."

"You can't do that. I have a skirt on!"

Nathan eyed her. He hated how banged up her legs were and now her feet were bothering her. "Then, I'm warning you, if you don't be careful, I'll pick you up and carry you."

Haley didn't doubt he'd do just that. She focused on the ground as she walked. A short while later, her feet were killing her and she was going at a snail's pace. "Ouch!" She said stepping on something sharp.

As promised, Nathan scooped Haley up and flung her over his shoulders. She tried to fight him, both laughing and squealing as she fought to keep her blouse intact. Along the way, he purposely jostled her from time to time, making her laugh even more.

As they arrived at her apartment complex, Haley helplessly begged him to put her down. "I can go up the stairs!"

"I can take you up." He gripped her a little tighter, but the stairs were steep and he was getting sweaty. He found himself losing a grip on her after just a few steps up. He made it to the first landing and set her down. Before she could get away, he scooped her up the other way and carried her with one hand under her legs and the other under her back.

Haley laughed in amusement as she put her hands around his neck. He really was too much. "If anyone sees this, they'll think we just got married."

"Too bad neither one of us is the marrying type." Once up on the second floor, he looked around. "Which one is it?"

"#12; don't ask me why. There are only eight units. I think the person who numbered it must have been OCD because he only used even numbers. Works for me since twelve is my lucky number."

"Why is that?"

"My birthday is December 12th!"

Nathan stopped in front of her door, but wouldn't put her down. He looked at her expectantly.

"What?" Haley asked not understanding what the holdup was. "I have my key." She held up the key ring that hung over her thumb and showed him the key pressed to her palm.

"So, that's what you had to get. Smart thinking, Doc." He still kept her high in his arms.

"Nathan! Put me down!"

"Fine." Nathan set her down.

Haley looked curiously at him as she unlocked her door. "What was that about?"

"I was waiting for you to explain to me what OCD was," he smirked.

Haley gave him a soft push and they both laughed. He was starting to know her so well.

As soon as they were inside, Haley turned to Nathan with intensity in her eyes. "Okay, you hit the shower first, while I get out a change of clothes. Then, I'll take one. You have three minutes! Towels are in the closet! Go!"

"I don't need—"

"Yes, you do!" Haley said giving him a disgusted look. "I'll get you a new shirt, but you'll just have to deal with your pants." She shoved him through the living room, down the hall and into the bathroom and slammed the door. She ran into her bedroom and pulled out some fresh clothes. After she had that out, she reached on the tip of her toes to the top shelve in her closet. She pulled out the t-shirt she had been thinking of. She held it out in front her. It should fit him. She took of the tags and laid it out on her bed.

Just as she was about to knock on the bathroom door to let Nathan know his time was up, the running water stopped. A minute later, a shirtless Nathan came out with only his windpants on and holding a towel to his dry his dripping wet hair. Haley's eyes widened and throat went dry at the sight of him and that well-toned bare chest. At first, he didn't seem to notice her staring at him, but when that smirk crossed his face, Haley knew she was caught. She pointed to her bedroom. "The-the shirt's on the bed." She brushed past him into the bathroom before he had a chance to tease her.

Haley took a very quick shower. As soon as she was done, she realized she left her bathrobe in her bedroom. She settled on wrapping a towel around her to make the quick jaunt to her bedroom. When she got of the bathroom, her disheveled appearance was forgotten as she spotted Nathan sitting on her living room couch, still shirtless, examining the shirt. "What's wrong with it? Does it not fit?"

Nathan looked over at Haley. She was standing there clutching a short towel around her body with her wet hair draped over her. He stood up, staring at her. He knew she had a sexy body, but this was more than that. She was smoking hot, even more so because she didn't know it. He watched as a drip of water fell from her hair onto her shoulder and ran down the side of her arm. His eyes moved back up to the hint of cleavage at the top of her towel. He dropped the t-shirt as his body began to react to her. When he picked it back up, he remembered Haley asked him a question and was waiting for an answer. He tried to hide his embarrassment as he held the shirt out in front of him. "It's a Stanford shirt. I can't wear this. I mean, it has a tree in the middle of it," he complained.

Haley continued to stand there staring at him, trying to conceal her emotions. "It's just for a little while…"

"Does this belong to one of your ex-boyfriends? Because if so, there's no way I'm wearing this!"

"I bought it for my dad," Haley admitted looking down. She hated having to tell him this, but felt she had no other choice. She didn't want him insulted thinking she'd pawn off an ex's shirt on him. "I got it for him for Christmas, but I never got to give it to him. I just took off the tags. It's brand new. Do what you want." She walked to her bedroom, upset with herself for getting worked up about it.

When she was finished changing, she grabbed a spare purse, threw some of her make up in it and fixed her wet hair up in a ponytail. She also grabbed a few more items for her visit with Matthew. When she left her bedroom she found Nathan pacing around her living room wearing the Stanford shirt.

As soon as he saw her, Nathan walked over to her with a frantic look in his eyes. "I'm sorry. I didn't know. I feel like I keep saying all the wrong things—"

Haley gave him a grateful smile. She put her hand on his chest. "Relax. It looks good on you."

Nathan was still filled with remorse, even as she let him off the hook. "I'll give it back—"

Haley pushed past him towards the door. "You can keep it. Like I said, it looks good on you. Now, let's get moving! We don't have much time!"

They left the apartment and headed down the stairs. Just as they were arriving at Nathan's car, a police car pulled up behind them. Nathan and Haley quickly got into the car and Nathan took off.

Haley watched out the back window as the police officers got out and headed towards her building. "Oh my God! I feel like a fugitive!"

Nathan laughed. "Yeah, you're a real badass. You skipped out on giving a statement after being involved in a bank holdup so you could go do your science experiment."

"You sound like my mother." Haley paused and gave it some more thought. "I think you would like her."

Nathan looked at her out of the corner of his eye. "I bet I would. I sure like her daughter a lot. She gets me into all kinds of crazy situations. Keeps things interesting."

A smile spread over Haley's face as she flushed red and looked out the window.

Nathan loved how she blushed like that. It spurred him on. "First, she traps me in the elevator. Then, she has me scoping out strawberries in some Farmer's Market I never knew existed. Then, she tricks me into a therapy session at a coffee shop!—"

"That was not a therapy session!"

"She tricks me into _a date_ at a coffee shop," Nathan happily clarified. "Hey, that was June 12th! Your lucky number, imagine that! Then, she tracks me down at a bar, we share this incredible dance, she let me drive her home, but won't let me walk her up. The next morning—"

Haley thought she knew what was coming next. "You-You followed me into the bank, just like you did that elevator!"

"That's right, Haley," Nathan said knowing he was going to have the last word. "Rub it in! I've followed you into all these crazy situations—sometimes even literally chasing after you! It's you that's been leading the way, all along."

Haley rolled her eyes. "Yeah, you're some puppy dog."

Nathan didn't have a comeback for that. She was right. He had never put that much effort into a girl before. But, as he looked over at Haley, whose cheeks were still brightened by their flirting, he didn't regret it at all.

* * *

><p>"Dammit!" Haley spat out as they pulled onto Matthew's street.<p>

Nathan looked at the clock. "We're two minutes early."

"I was five minutes early the first time I came. Now, he expects that!"

"He knows time?"

"He has a thing for numbers. It's the only way he communicates."

"Do I get to meet him?" Nathan asked nervously. Truth was, he didn't want to meet this kid.

"I'm not sure. It's better if you stay out here." Haley took a deep breath thinking of the massive fit Matthew threw the first time she visited, along with her first Thursday visit. She knew it wasn't her personally that upset him. It was the disruption of his routine and resistance to change. In the end, it was good to try to break him of his rigid expectations, but it didn't make it any easier. "I may need your help, though."

Nathan swallowed hard. "My help?" What could he possibly do?

"It's right here!" Haley pointed to a small ranch up ahead. "Just wait here for now."

As soon as the car was stopped alongside the street curb, Haley sprinted out. She ran up the driveway and fell along the way. Knowing the poor condition of her legs, Nathan got of the car, but by the time he got to the driveway, she was already in the house. Anxious to get back to the air conditioning, he turned around and went back into the car.

Once in his car, Nathan leaned back and closed his eyes. He was absolutely exhausted and hoped a quick nap would help. He jumped when there was a ferocious banging on the window.

"Nathan!" Knock, knock. "Nathan!"

Nathan rolled down the window. "What's wrong?"

"I need you. I need your help!" Haley said urgently.

Nathan rolled up the window, shut the car off, and got out.

"I need to explain to you first what's going on."

They stood in front of the car as Haley frantically explained things to Nathan. "Quick version—Matthew's having a fit. He's banging his head against the wall and he needs to stop so he doesn't hurt himself. His dad is the only one who can calm him down but he's at work—"

Nathan shook his head. "I can't do it. I don't know what to do. I've never been around kids at all!"

Haley linked her arm through Nathan's and began to lead him towards the driveway. "You just have to give him a hug—real tight, from behind. He won't even see you—"

"What? Haley! I'm a stranger! How could that help?"

"I know it doesn't make sense to you or I, but the deep pressure relaxes him. Then, his mom will give him a massage-but, we just need to get him to stop the rocking and banging!" By now, they reached the front door of the house. Haley looked at Nathan with pleading eyes. "Please. Please, just try it. I know it sounds crazy, but I think it will work. I wouldn't ask you if I didn't have to."

Nathan looked around helplessly. What could he say? He had no out. "Fuck, Haley. This is really uncomfortable."

"Please," Haley repeated. "Just give it a try."

Nathan gritted his teeth and blinked hard. "If it were anybody else—"

Haley leaned up, gave him a kiss on the cheek, and pulled him inside. The door opened up into the living room. There was a little blond hair boy on his knees with his hands crossed against his chest, rocking back and forth. His head was lightly banging into a spot on the wall in next to the entertainment center. His mother was kneeling beside him. Every time she touched him, the boy began to rock harder. It was a heartbreaking scene that drove Nathan into action.

As Haley watched Nathan, she realized he was doing the same thing he did at the bank; relying on his instincts and reflexes. He moved up behind Matthew on the opposite side of his mother. Nathan looked to Matthew's mother, Linda, a thin short, petite woman about Haley's size.

"Put your arms around him and pull him back," Linda gently instructed him. "He's just too strong for me. I can't do it and he gets worse when I try. He'll fight you, but just hold him tight."

Nathan nodded and moved in quickly. He was desperate to stop this little boy from hurting himself. He wrapped his arms around the boy. As his mother predicted, the boy began kicking violently and screaming.

Nathan became nervous as he tightened his grip on the boy. He could squeeze the heck out him, but didn't want to hurt him.

"It's okay!" His mother shouted her over her son's screams. "Squeeze tight."

Nathan squeezed the boy and the screaming stopped. Gaining some confidence, he squeezed harder. The boy fell back against him as his body relaxed. Nathan let out a series of deep breaths as he continued to hold the boy. As the boy began whispering, Nathan saw his mother and Haley, both propped on their knees on either side of him, shared a smile. Nathan listened harder. The boy was whispering "one" repeatedly.

Haley moved in front of Matthew. His eyes were shifted down his eyebrows tightly knitted. She moved around, trying to make eye contact. "Matthew, I want to tell you I'm sorry I wasn't here at one. I had a problem and tried real hard not to be late, but I was. I'm so very sorry it got you upset."

Matthew breathed out and in and stopped his whispering.

"Matthew, I want to introduce you to one of my friends. He came with me so he could meet you. His name is Nathan. He likes basketball, just like you."

Nathan could tell that he was listening to Haley since he relaxed a little more. Nathan began to slowly loosen his grip. The adrenaline pulsating through his veins began to subside. Nathan began to think about how this little boy was relaxing _because of him_. It was incomprehensible, yet it worked. He never would have thought _his arms_ could create that feeling in someone.

As Haley continued to talk with him, his mother placed a pillow down in front of her son. She moved in close to Nathan and gestured for him to start to move back. As soon as he did, she moved in put her hands on her son's shoulders and began massaging them. The boy fell down against the pillow.

As Nathan shifted away, Haley moved behind him. She draped her arms around his shoulders and neck and whispered into his ear. "Thank you." She gave him a kiss on the cheek. As she went to pull away, Nathan put his hand over hers and gave it a squeeze.

Nathan didn't want to let Haley go, but he also wanted to see her face. This had to be one of the most amazing experiences of his life. He let go of her hand and turned around to face her. The way she was looking at him confirmed it. Her eyes were filled with gratitude and something else…She admired him? She was proud of him? She respected him? Maybe. He couldn't quite pinpoint it, but he knew he never had anyone look at him like that, including when he was the star of the basketball team making the winning shot. He'd take this feeling over that in a heartbeat, if only it would last…But just like the high basketball gave him, the moment was fleeting, as it should be. At least in basketball, he deserved his fans' adoration. This,….what he was doing with Haley,…It was not worthy of any such thing.

Nathan turned his attention back to Matthew at the mention of his name.

"Matthew, you should meet Nathan. Can you do that for me, honey?" Linda asked sweetly.

Haley moved to Nathan's side. "Go over and look at him. He probably won't say anything, but don't take it personally. He's just listening."

Nathan moved over to the pillow Matthew was resting on. He bent down at looked into Matthew's large hazel eyes. Matthew's eyes shifted around and settled in on his shirt. "Hey, Buddy. I'm Nathan. I know this is your time with Haley, but she told me a lot about you and how special you were. Now, I know that's true because you're a basketball fan. I love basketball, too. You have a favorite team?"

"Twenty-three," Matthew said sitting up. He looked around the room, his eyes always going back to Nathan's shirt. "Twenty-three."

Haley stood up. She figured it was time to start taking some notes. "You know what that means?" She asked Linda.

"No. He's never used that number before."

Nathan eyes fell on the bloodstain on Haley's jeans by her knee. "Hales, you're bleeding."

Haley looked down and saw she was. She put her hand over it and felt it was damp.

Linda pointed down the hall. "You know where the bathroom is. There's Band-Aids in the medicine cabinet and a washcloth in the closet."

Haley headed off to the bathroom.

"Twenty-three," Matthew voiced loudly.

Nathan looked around. He wasn't sure if Matthew was talking to him or not. He stood up and looked towards the bathroom. "I'm going to make sure she's okay."

"Twenty-three," Matthew called after him.

When Nathan turned back to look, he saw Matthew pointing at him. This was becoming highly awkward. He knocked on the bathroom door. "Hales? You okay?"

"Uh, yeah. It's unlocked. You can come in."

When he opened the door, he found Haley sitting on top of the toilet with her pant leg rolled up over her knee. She was examining her bloodied knee with a strong grimace.

"Can you get me a washcloth? There's little…things in here," she said grotesquely looking at her knee. "I can't believe my jeans didn't rip. This is really cut up."

"It was the second time you hurt it today." Nathan took a look at it. It was scraped it up pretty good and he could see some pieces of lint in it. "You need to clean this, Hales."

Haley smiled. She couldn't help it.

"You think that's funny?" Nathan asked catching her contagious smile.

"You keep calling me 'Hales'," she said with a goofy grin.

Nathan stood up and looked in the medicine cabinet. He pulled out a bottle of hydrogen peroxide. "I guess I should go back to 'Doc'."

"No! I like Hales better."

Nathan fished a washcloth out of the closet and damped half of it. "I better go with 'Hales' then because you're going to hate me in a minute." Nathan knelt down to her with the washcloth. He began lightly running it over her knee.

"Oww…No, it's okay," Haley said as she became embarrassed when he stopped. She hadn't expected him to be so attentive. "You can keep going. I'm a baby, but I can take it."

Nathan finished wiping up the blood and making sure the specks were gone. He wet the cloth with hydrogen peroxide. "This is going to sting," he warned her.

"I can handle—Ouch!" Haley winced. She watched as white spots fizzled on her knee. As it set in, Nathan began looking for Band-Aids. As Haley watched him, she started to become emotional. She had never misjudged a person so wrongly in her life. He had such a kind, compassionate heart. She could now clearly see him as Lucas' brother. It didn't help that he was wearing her father's shirt, either. As soon as he returned to her, she was compelled to share these intense feelings with him, but also didn't want embarrass herself. "You're, like, my hero now, you know," she said with a slight chuckle.

Nathan ripped the wrappers open off a few Band-Aids. "I can't believe you go through this when you come here. And his mom…She's got it rough."

Haley didn't hold it against him that he was flustered by what he'd seen. It was a typical response to seeing that type of the thing for the first time. "He's not always like this and once you know how to deal with it, it gets easier. You get used to it."

"It helps that he's a cute kid," Nathan said thinking of the boy's strong eyes and blonde bowl haircut. He began applying the bandages.

Haley's heart quelled. "Seriously, Nathan, you have to know how much this means to me. You've been….Today, I've seen…I can't explain what I'm feeling right now."

After finishing putting the bandages on Haley, he wasn't surprised to look up and find her teary eyed. "It's been a long day."

"That's not what I meant. I was talking about you. I'm talking about how I feel about you and how you've been today."

Nathan gently pushed down her pant leg and gave her a nod. "You're all set, Doc."

Haley was confused and a little hurt. He wasn't responding to her comments about him at all. Where was the ego of his that loved to be stroked? Worst of all, he was back to calling her 'Doc'. It was as if he putting his wall back up. "Thanks."

"So, what now?" Nathan asked stuffing his hands in his pockets. "Should I wait outside? Did I mess everything up by being here?"

"No, no. It's good for me to see him with other people and you saw that I interact with him too. I just have to take some formal notes down. I have this standard form we have to fill out on all home visits, but I take my own notes, too. Anyway, I'm just in the phase where I'm trying to learn how he communicates, so it's not the formal part of the experiment. That comes in the next phase. This is just the baseline study."

"I can try and talk to him about basketball," Nathan offered. He would do anything to distract himself from the intensity of what was going on with Haley. The way she was looking at him, no longer gave him that warm feeling….It was scaring the hell out of him. All he could think of was how bad he messed things up for her with Rimkus and the things said in the safe. _She was too good for him_. Her work here with families like this was far too important for him to be screwing around with. He also knew she was getting attached to him. That made it even worse.

"You have to ask him to show you his room!" Haley said excitedly.

When Nathan opened up the bathroom door, he found Matthew standing directly in the doorway holding a basketball. Nathan was unsure of what to do since he was blocked in and Matthew wasn't moving.

"Twenty-three," Matthew said thrusting the ball at Nathan.

Nathan took the ball. He patted Matthew on the top of his head. "Thanks, Buddy."

Matthew turned around and walked down the hall.

Nathan stepped out into the hall, but looked to Haley for his next move.

Haley peered down and saw that Matthew went to his room. "He wants you to follow him! I have to get my notes!" Just before Nathan got too far away, Haley tugged at his arm. She couldn't resist tell Nathan how significant this was. "He let you use a nickname! He won't let people even call him Matt! And he let you touch him! I haven't seen him do that with anyone else!"

Nathan gave Haley a confused look. "What do you mean? When I was holding him? I was touching then."

"That was different. That was Deep Pressure Touch Stimulation. It has a calming effect on him, like when you swaddle a baby in a blanket. When you patted him on the head, that was a touch and he's very sensitive to that." Haley paused, getting slight emotional. "And you called him 'Buddy'."

Nathan didn't know what to make of this. He had no idea what he was doing.

Matthew poked his head out from his bedroom door. "Twenty-three!" He yelled.

Nathan smiled. He spun the basketball around on his finger. "I think I know why he's calling me that." And it felt good. He flashed Haley a cocky smirk and left her standing there.

Haley ran back out to the living room. She found Linda sitting on the couch, finishing up a phone call. Haley pulled out her form sheets, notebook and pen.

"I was just telling Jared what happened. He was relieved he didn't have to come home from work," Linda said.

"I'm sorry that happened. I feel so bad about it."

"Haley, this happens every day for one reason or another. Yesterday, it was because the Emergency Alert System came on during one of his cartoons." Linda gave her a bright smile and bobbed her head back and forth. "So, that Nathan is something else, huh?"

Haley blushed. "He….He's a special guy," was all Haley could manage to say.

"He's a keeper," Linda smiled. She stood up. "Let's go see what our boys are up to, shall we?"

Haley had no intentions of setting Linda straight. She was content to let her think Nathan was _her boy_. She would be lucky if that were true, but for now would settle for the fantasy of it. "I'm just going to get my notes started."

As Linda went on ahead, Haley sat down and filled out the basic information, such as the date, time, and setting on her form sheets. Next, she took a quick glance at her chart. There were fifty areas she had to assess Matthew on a sliding scale. She tackled the ones she could so far and left the rest blank to complete later. Lastly, she set up her entry for her personal notes and jotted some things down. Satisfied, Haley took her things with her and headed to Matthew's bedroom. She stood in the doorway, unable to suppress the smile that spread over her face.

Nathan was sitting next to Matthew on his bed. Matthew's legs hung over the side and were swinging back and forth. His eyes were transfixed on the basketball Nathan was spinning around on his finger. Haley began take some notes. When she looked up, Nathan stopped spinning the ball and Matthew swiftly reached up and pushed the ball back up. Nathan took the hint and began spinning the ball again. Matthew's leg continued to swing with his eyes glue to the ball. The same thing happened a few more times as Nathan took short breaks from spinning the ball.

Linda was sitting on the floor, cross-legged watching them. "He'll make you do that all day you if you let him."

Nathan chuckled.

"No, really," Linda said seriously. She looked at Haley. "Did you explain to him about Matthew?"

Haley shook her head. "Nathan coming was last minute."

Linda turned to Nathan. "He obsesses over things. He can spend the entire day playing with one toy."

"Today, I guess it's this basketball," Nathan joked. He stood up and began moving the basketball under and over his arm and back.

Matthew shot up and began flapping his arms and laughing.

Nathan stopped when he saw the flapping arms. His eyes widened worried that Matthew might be getting ready to have another tantrum.

Haley jumped in as she went over and stood by them. "No, that means he's excited. He likes it."

Matthew jumped up and down anxiously. In a flash, his eyes darted to Haley's wrist. "Twelve!"

"I have it," Haley said quickly. "It's in my purse. Let me go get it." She tossed her materials towards Linda and ran out to the living room.

She retrieved the multicolor Cracker Jacks bracelet Nathan gave her from her purse, pushed it over her wrist and went back to the bedroom. When inside, she knelt down to Matthew. He harshly grabbed her arm.

Matthew began fingering the bracelet, counting each colored button. "One…two…three…"

Nathan quietly sat down on the bed and watched the exchange between Haley and Matthew. It was one of the sweetest things he'd seen. Haley was so warm, gentle and patient as Matthew invaded her personal space, twisted her arm around and repeated his counting of the twelve buttons. He turned to Linda. "So, does he only say numbers?"

"Very rarely he says a word or two. Never a whole sentence. We usually know what he means though."

"So, is Haley 'twelve'?"

"No. Twelve is for the bracelet."

"I gave her that bracelet," he said proudly.

Haley shot him a shy smile. "I wore it that day and he took a liking to it, as you can see. I knew I had to go back and get it at the bank." Matthew was still going through his counting.

"He seems to use 'one' a lot for Haley," Linda explained. "She comes at one, so that's what he says. He uses numbers for more than one thing, and it can get confusing sometimes…..He's never used twenty-three before! I think that's going to be all you!"

Haley looked at them both. "What is that about?"

Linda gave Haley sideways glance. "You didn't tell me your boyfriend played professional basketball!"

Haley's face flushed red. She had to correct Linda this time. "He's not—"

"I'm hoping to play for the Lakers soon," Nathan jumped in looking right at Matthew.

Matthew dropped Haley's hand and ran over and pointed to the posters on his wall of LeBron James and Michael Jordan. He began jumping up and down. "Twenty-three! Twenty-three! Twenty-three!"

Nathan grinned. He really liked this kid. He got up, stood next to Matthew and patted his head again. "You may be my first fan, Buddy!"

"I don't get it," Haley said puzzled.

Linda returned the same look to her. "Nathan's number for the D-fenders is twenty-three….You didn't know that? Matthew watches their games when they're on and he picked up on that right away."

"Haley hasn't seen me play," Nathan said sounding offended.

"I have! I saw you play for Duke!"

"Here we go again," Nathan rolled his eyes.

Haley ignored him. " And I saw one of your high school games."

"You did not," Nathan said in disbelief.

"Yes, I did." Haley bit her lip knowing she had to explain herself. "I was waiting for a ride home after tutoring and I stood in the doorway of the gym. You had just scored a touchdown."

Nathan burst into laughter and so did Matthew, who also began jumping up and down. He looked down at his sidekick. "Can you believe her? Tell her that basketball players do not score touchdowns!"

"Football!" Matthew mumbled.

"That's right, Haley. You only score touchdowns in football. There are points in basketball, like a three-pointer—"

"Forty-six!" Matthew yelled.

Nathan's eyes widened. Matthew was still looking at the poster of LeBron.

"Did he say 'football'?" Haley whispered to Linda as she scribbled some notes.

"He did," Linda smiled.

Nathan only realized that when he them say it. "And forty-six? He said that too?"

"Forty-six," Matthew repeated.

"What's that?" Haley asked.

"That's…" Nathan paused still in disbelief that Matthew knew something like that about him. "It's my personal best for points scored in a game for the D-Fenders." He looked at Linda. "Could he know that?"

"If it was on ESPN, in the newspaper or the news….Yes. He's obsessed with basketball statistics."

Nathan looked again at Matthew. This kid was four?

Haley felt compelled to speak up. "He's very intelligent."

"I guess so." He leaned down to Matthew. "Hey, Matthew—"

"Buddy!" Matthew scowled.

Haley and Linda shared an amused and touched look.

"Okay, Buddy," Nathan corrected himself. "How would you like to come see me play sometime?"

For a brief second, Matthew made direct eye contact with Nathan. His eyes were wide with awe. It made Nathan feel incredible.

"Maybe I can come too?" Haley asked teasingly.

"If you stop getting me into crazy situations, you might have a shot," Nathan joked back. He and Haley got lost for a second as they locked eyes.

Nathan was taken aback when Matthew shoved the basketball at his chest. He started to move it around again and Matthew began flapping his arms.

"So, were you two high school sweethearts?" Linda asked them both.

"She wishes," Nathan said moving the ball up and over his arm.

"No," Haley said shaking her head. "We didn't know each other in high school. We just met up recently."

"Really? I never would have guessed that," Linda comment. She turned to Haley. "But I did think it was strange that you hadn't seen your boyfriend play."

Before Haley could correct Linda, Nathan jumped in again. He gave Haley a challenging look. "Yeah, Hales. It's not very nice you never came to any of my games. Especially since you've been living in the L.A. area!"

Haley gave Nathan an incredulous look. What did he want her to say? She decided to shift the focus. She stood up. "I have an idea….Linda, is there any basketball you can pull up on tv? I'd love for Nathan to see how Matthew studies the plays." She also wanted to see if Matthew would continue to communicate with Nathan like he'd been doing. She was sure that Nathan was oblivious to the unbelievable progress he was making with Matthew in a single visit.

"I bet we can find something," Linda said getting up. "We have about ten games on DVR."

Nathan was interested to see this as well. With a kid like that who had a gift with numbers, he'd bet he could see things on the court no one else could. He was inspired just thinking about it. Inspired….Haley said the same thing about being around her autistic nephew. She said how he saw things differently and made her seem them differently. Everything clicked in Nathan's head at once. He understood what it was that drew Haley to this line of work. It was incredibly self-gratifying. Yet, it was also draining. Just like before, these new and unexpected things he was feeling and the discoveries he was making left him overwhelmed and confused, especially when reflecting upon himself.

* * *

><p>"I just wonder what is going on in his head when he's watching the game like that. I bet he sees things no one can," Nathan with awe.<p>

"That's what we hope to find out. His parents are thinking about trying sign language with him. Personally, I'm not sure if that will work with him, but it's probably worth a shot." Haley believed that she was on the verge of a breakthrough about Matthew's communication patterns…and she hoped it was true of other children with autism. She was already thinking about a hypothesis for her dissertation…gathering data from other researches on the grant…but most of all, using her findings to help others….and _it was all because of Nathan_. She had to stop herself from thinking about it until she was alone. Then, she would give herself over to the ideas floating around in her head. Once they developed fully, she would share them with Dr. Green.

Nathan stared ahead at the road, and fired another question at Haley. "What's his dad like?"

"Jared's really good with him…and he loves basketball. That's where Matthew picked it up. You'd like him."

Nathan got that sinking feeling again. The more Haley said things like that, the more it bothered him. She was still giving him those damn looks too. "Maybe. All I know is that I could never handle that kind of responsibility. See, you don't want to have kids because of your career. I don't want to have them because I don't want anyone dependent on me. No one. Not a single person."

By now, Haley had Nathan's routine down cold. She understood it perfectly. In fact, she was completely at ease with it. It was the reason why she was still conflicted about what type of setting to go into once she had her Ph.D. She loved being with autistic children, but she equally enjoyed helping people understand what autism was all about. Nathan was on that journey right now. He was going back and forth between his fasciation and fear of it. She kept quiet, not pushing him as he processed everything through and was just there to answer his questions.

Nathan didn't enjoy Haley's silence. He knew he was being a jerk saying things like that, but he couldn't help it. He didn't want her thinking he was someone he wasn't. "It's hard enough for me to take care of myself," he added to fill the silence.

Haley didn't bite. She checked the time. "You remember that you need to take me to the office, right? My car is there."

"Yeah, right," Nathan sighed. Their day was coming to end. He wasn't sure what that would mean. "So….Do you need me to come with you again on Thursday?"

Haley kept looking out the window so Nathan couldn't see her smile. No matter how hard he was fighting it, he was drawn to Matthew. "No. I don't think that would be a good idea. I don't want him thinking this is part of the routine."

"What about Tuesday? He'll be expecting me then, right?"

Haley finally looked over at Nathan. She had to set him straight about this. "You shouldn't come then either. He can't get too attached to you, Nathan."

Nathan understood what she meant, but he didn't like to hear it. He didn't want that kind of responsibility. He enjoyed himself…more than he ever expected to, but this was not the kind of thing he was cut for. He wasn't as selfless as Haley.

He also couldn't let it go. "Haley, I have to see him again. I can't just not go back…ever. That would be bad too, right?"

Haley knew he had a point, but she was still hesitant. "I don't know," she answered honestly. "Maybe it's something you need to think about and I can talk with Linda. For now, I don't think you should come. Take some time and think it over. If it's something you think you want to do, just know it's a real commitment. He's not the type of kid you can leave hanging."

Nathan nodded. She was asking for a commitment. He hated that word. As they pulled into her office parking lot, he grew nervous. "Are you going to go inside to do some work?"

"Yes. I like to type up my notes right away. Then, I'll probably head to the police station."

They sat in silence after Nathan put the car into park.

"Do you want me to go with you?" Nathan asked.

"No, I'll be fine."

Silence fell again. Haley moved her hand to the door, but wasn't ready to leave. She tried to find the right words to leave Nathan with.

"What about dinner?" Nathan asked with a hint of desperation. "You need to eat, right?"

Haley withdrew her hand. There was no avoiding it. They needed to talk. "Nathan, what's going on here? Am I your therapist? Your friend? What…what exactly do you want me to be?"

Nathan balked. "I don't like labels."

"Nathan!" Haley said exasperated. "I can't be your therapist. Okay. There. Done. I just made that call."

Nathan couldn't help that his mind went right to his upcoming tryouts. It was the most important thing in his life, after all. "What does that mean for me and my paperwork?"

"I'll talk to Dr. Rimkus. I'm sure once she knows about what happened at the bank, she'll know it's not good for the practice if my name is on the paperwork."

Nathan did not like the idea of Haley having a private conversation about him with Rimkus. "What will she say? Will she fudge it and put her name on it?"

"I don't know, but-Nathan," Haley said as she got an idea. "What if we told the Lakers about the bank incident? Wouldn't they understand why you needed to get a new therapist? They could give you an extension."

Nathan was immediately resistant to the idea. "I don't want them to think of me as the guy who comes with all these issues. They're already unhappy about the bar fight. I don't want another strike against me. I want to go to the tryouts like a normal person."

Haley could understand where he was coming from. If she had a job interview, the last she'd want was to start it off with an excuse about something. Still, she wished he'd reconsider. It would just make things so much easier….for her, anyway. "How about we sit on this for a while?"

"A while?"

"Until next Tuesday. You come in at your regular time and we can try and figure something out."

"So you don't want to talk again until then?" They had just been through a traumatic experience and at the least, Nathan knew it hadn't hit him yet. It would be nice to have someone to talk to when it did come crashing down.

Haley did want to talk to him, but she also knew better. "I think it's best if we take some time….to let things settle."

Let things settle. He could do that. Maybe in a week all these feelings would lose their intensity. Maybe in a week he'd be back to himself, whoever that was. He'd give it a try. No matter what, he was certain of thing; he had to have a little chat with a certain Charlene Rimkus and in that chat, he was going to end things once and for all…for Haley's sake.

* * *

><p>Preview of next chapter: "Look After You" (The Fray)<p>

AN: You will learn more about Haley's hypothesis later on. It's a big part of the story. I also think you will like how the next chapter ends!

Thanks for reading! This story is coming along well. I just need to find the time to write it. Hopefully, I can post the next chapter soon for you. I just want to give people time to read this one. If I don't post before then, Happy New Year!


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer #1**: Characters, minor plot points and dialogue belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and _One Tree Hill_ writers.

**Disclaimer #2**: Although my career is in the field of psychology, I have taken a lot of liberties with my story. My background is nothing like Haley's in this story. Her story only has _a little_ basis in reality. I know many people in that field who have given me inspiration for details here and there, but this situation is entirely fictional. Please don't take what you read as fact, especially when it comes to the research discussed and ethics of practicing psychology. As with all my stories, you have to use the suspension of disbelief, just as you do with our favorite tv show. The examples in this story are merely for plot purposes. If you do have questions or concerns about the psychological elements of the story, please feel free to pm. I'd love to discuss!

Special thanks to **CoachMom**, **Chat1** and **Motolid **for help and inspiration with the beach themes!

Chapter 11: "Look After You" (The Fray)

As soon as he had the green light from the secretary, Nathan headed into Dr. Rimkus' office. Without hesitation, he walked into her office and took a seat on the chair in front of her desk. "Hey, Charlene. How's it going?"

"It's Dr. Rimkus to you!" She reprimanded him.

"You don't deserve that title," Nathan shot back.

"Excuse me," Dr. Rimkus said sharply, "but it's _you_ that is here to see _me_, correct? And don't think I don't know what this is about!"

"Haley told you?"

"About your little rendezvous on Tuesday? She didn't need to. The cops gave me an earful when they came here looking for her. Funny how you two happened to be in that bank at the same time, huh?"

"That's not really why I'm here. I was planning on coming in before then."

"For what?"

"I want you take Haley's name off my paperwork completely and I'm willing to do whatever it takes."

Dr. Rimkus rolled her eyes. "And why is that?"

This was the question Nathan didn't want to answer. "I don't want her to get into any trouble."

"You should have thought of that earlier, shouldn't you?"

Nathan ignored that point. He didn't have any legitimate answer for it. "Look, I just need you to make this happen."

"I'm going to tell you the same thing I told Ms. James. If you're serious about this, leave our practice and start up somewhere else. It's the easiest thing to do…and it's the best thing for Ms. James. Believe it or not, Mr. Scott, I do want to see her succeed. She's very bright and hard-working. She's just a little naive…reminds me of when I first started out."

"She's nothing like you," Nathan said disgustedly. "She'd never do the kinds of things you've done!"

"Careful, careful, Mr. Scott," Dr. Rimkus said with a nefarious grin. "Ms. James still doesn't know the details of our arrangement and I'm pretty sure you wouldn't want her to."

Nathan looked away. There was an impossible situation. He thought of what he knew motivated Dr. Rimkus. "I said I'd do whatever it takes," he reminded her.

Dr. Rimkus laughed. "Mr. Scott, I told you what to do. Go somewhere else!"

Nathan didn't want to do that. He still felt it would look too bad for tryouts. "Can't you just change the paperwork and put yourself down as my therapist?"

Dr. Rimkus shook her head. "I'm not willing to do that."

He could not understand her hesitation considering their earlier arrangement. What had changed since then? "Why not?"

"I'm not putting my career on the line for you."

"You wouldn't be—"

Dr. Rimkus stood up. "Mr. Scott, I'm done with this conversation. I've given you a solution. It's up to you to decide what to do."

"What if I don't want to do that?"

Dr. Rimkus fished through a file folder on her desk, pulled out a piece of paper and held it up. "Per our previous arrangement, Ms. James signed off on all your visits. As soon as your eight weeks are up, I'll send and fax a copy to your agent and the Laker's Organization."

"I don't understand why you won't just take her damn name off!"

"And I don't understand why it's so important to you! It didn't bother you before! What's changed?"

Nathan stood up to leave. There was no point arguing. He could see he wasn't getting anywhere.

"Exactly what I thought," Dr. Rimkus said crossing her arms. She pointed her finger sternly at Nathan. "If you know what's best for you and for Ms. James, you'll steer clear of her…Otherwise, you'll be jeopardizing both of your careers."

"Are you threatening me?" Nathan fumed.

"I don't have to. This will all blow up in your face on its own, trust me…and I won't be going down with you."

Nathan's eyes filled with fury. He knew he had to leave before he did something that would get him into even more trouble. As he stormed out of the office, he tried to figure out what was going on with Dr. Rimkus. The only conclusion he could come to was that she wanted to keep Haley's name on the paperwork, so Haley would take the blame if anything when wrong. He began thinking of solutions as he went down the stairs.

He could keep his appointments with Haley and try to keep things professional. Was that possible? _Yes._ Probable? _No._

He could go to Dr. Muller and tell him everything. From what he could gather, that doctor knew nothing of his deal with Rimkus and he was her boss. That gave him some leverage. The problem with that was that it might get Haley in some hot water as well. He didn't want to risk that.

He could steer clear of Haley completely as Dr. Rimkus suggested. Completely? Was that necessary? Maybe just for the remaining five weeks when she was technically his therapist. That could work. After that, all bets were off. It would be acceptable if their relationship developed after their sessions were over, right? He wasn't sure. It was a very gray area.

The biggest problem with that last solution was Matthew. He would have to stay away from him during that time as well….Unless he visited him on his own? _No_. Nathan definitely didn't want to do that. It was something he only wanted to do with Haley.

It was back to her again; her and these feelings she was making him feel. Damn her! He wished he could go back to how he felt in that elevator when he just wanted to screw her just to see what it was like….Just because he could. That version of himself was an asshole, but it was so easy for him to be like that. Now, it was so much more complicated.

He went back to his last solution. If he was going to take the paperwork with Haley's signature, he probably should just stay away from her for good. It was the least complicated thing to do. It was probably the right thing to do considering he wasn't willing to risk _his career_. It was only fair. It was the best thing for both of their careers.

* * *

><p>At ten past nine, Haley went over and stood by the windows. She looked down at the parking lot. She spotted a red car that could be Nathan's. She began to relax. He was probably just running a little late and was making his way up to her office. Just as she was about to go back to her desk, she saw a man with dark hair heading away from the building and towards the car. He got in it and drove way. Her eyes scanned the rest of the parking lot….No sign of any other red cars.<p>

Haley went back to her desk. Dr. Rimkus was right. Once he had the paperwork signed off, he didn't need her anymore. She turned her attention to her computer and pulled up the file she'd been working on outlining her ideas for her dissertation. She couldn't be that angry with Nathan. It was him that led to such exciting ideas for her work. She had to grateful for that.

Fifteen minutes later, her office phone rang. Haley picked it up. "Yes, Nina?"

"Mr. Scott is here to see you," Nina happily announced.

Haley picked up on Nina's odd tone. What was that about? "Really? He's a half hour late!"

"Oh, but you need to let him in….Can I please let him in?" Nina begged.

Haley knew Dr. Rimkus wasn't around to see whatever was going on. "I guess so."

Haley hung up the phone nervously. She got up and walked over to window and stared out towards the beach, searching for calmness. She heard a knock on her door, followed it's creaking as it opened. Next, she heard it shut. She heard Nathan approaching from behind her, but she wasn't ready to face him. She continued looking to the beach, as if it held the solution to all her problems.

"The beach is pretty close to here, huh?" Nathan's voice rang out.

"It seems so far away to me," Haley responded.

"Nah…Must be five? Ten minutes, away?"

Haley turned around. "Fifteen minutes—" She momentarily stopped when she saw the bouquet of roses in Nathan's hand, hanging by his side. "Fifteen minutes with traffic," she quietly finished.

"Then, another ten minutes trying to find parking…I know a better place."

Haley looked him over. Considering the clothes she'd seen him in before, he was dressed up. He had on a blue v-neck shirt and pair of khakis. As their eyes met, she remembered how he told her when they were in the safe room that he wanted to take her to the beach at night. Was he suggesting that again? "I think we need to talk."

Nathan held up the flowers. "These are because I was late."

Haley took the flowers and smiled as she looked them over. There were a dozen red roses.

"There are twelve," Nathan pointed out. "Not because it's a dozen…It's because it's your lucky number."

Haley brought them over to her desk. She pulled out a vase from her bottom shelf and began fixing them inside of it. She knew he was trying to make amends, but he was trying a little too hard. "Why were you late?"

Nathan took a seat on the couch. "I don't have a good excuse." He was indecisive about coming in the first place and then he'd nearly chickened out. Then, as he drove away, he knew what a big mistake he was making and became desperate to fix it.

Set with the flowers, Haley took a seat in the chair opposite the couch. "Let's talk."

"I talked to Dr. Rimkus on Thursday," Nathan admitted. He was anxious to get this off his chest; well, part of it, anyway. "I came when I knew you wouldn't be here."

"She told you I signed the paperwork and not to come back, right?" Haley surmised.

"She told you about our meeting?" Nathan wanted to know just how much Dr. Rimkus told her.

"No…She pretty much told me the same thing. I just assumed she'd say the same to you. She doesn't think we should associate at all."

"What do you think?" Nathan asked cautiously.

"I think…You're here," she shrugged. "Why are you here?"

Haley's words kept haunting him…It was what finally convinced him to go in. "I couldn't walk away from you. I thought maybe I could, at least for a little while."

Haley had thought about the same thing. She didn't find the idea appealing either. "I've thought a lot about this the past week and I have an idea."

"You want me to start over with a new therapist?" Nathan asked miserably.

"No, I know you don't want to do that."

Nathan fidgeted around. He didn't understand why she was letting him off the hook like that. "I feel like it's what I should do. It's just that the best thing for you is not the best thing for me." He knew that sounded selfish, but he wanted her to hear that. She needed to see him for who he was.

"I know," Haley said unaffected. "But I think we can work something out. I was thinking that you could still come to your sessions. This way, I'll take my notes, and fulfill my professional responsibilities."

"You mean in case I fuck up?" Nathan hated that she might think he would get himself into more trouble and the Lakers would look to substantiate that he really had the therapy.

"I'm more concerned about Dr. Rimkus. Something is going on with her."

Nathan moved up to the edge of the couch. "Like what?"

"I'm not sure, but I don't trust her and she's not thrilled with me these days. I need to cover myself and make sure I'm doing everything by the book in case something goes down."

Nathan wished she hadn't signed off on his paperwork….but she had. So, the least he could do was come to the sessions. "I'll come."

"We don't even have to talk about anything real-most of my patients in these kinds of situations don't want help anyway—"

"I want to talk," Nathan interjected. "I meant what I said earlier. If you think you can help me, I'd like to give it a shot…unless things are too weird now?"

Haley bobbed her head around mulling it over. "I think we can do it. It does mean that we need to keep things professional."

"What about Matthew? Can I not go with you to see him?"

"Well…." Haley hesitated not quite wanted to tell him just how much it would help her research if he did go. She didn't want him feeling that kind of pressure. "I talked to Linda and she would love it if you came, but not consistently. She doesn't want Matthew expecting you. We were thinking this Thursday?"

"I can do that." Nathan eyed Haley curiously. "Will this get you in trouble with Dr. Rimkus?"

"She's supposed to look over my notes, but I don't know if she's been doing that lately."

"She must know I went with you last week?"

"I don't know. If she read it, then she probably figured it out, but we don't use names when we transcribe our notes."

"But if she finds out…I just don't want you getting in any more trouble," Nathan said nervously.

"Dr. Green would be okay with this." Haley had already talked to her at length about her hypothesis and received good feedback about the initial experimental design for her dissertation work.

"It's Rimkus you don't trust," Nathan reminded her. "And she's not going to like it if she finds out."

"I wish I knew what was going on with her," Haley said biting her lip as she stared off. "I have some ideas, but I can't be sure."

Nathan needed to hear this. "What kind of ideas?" He asked trying his best to sound far less interested than he was.

"For starters, she's taken on too much responsibility. She was promoted to junior partner just after I started here. She started changing then. She doesn't put much time into her cases and I guess she has more administrative work being a partner. Nina, the secretary, and I have been picking up some of her slack. The other problem is that she has this grant of her own. The experimental part is done. Now, she's analyzing the data and trying to write up her results, but I just have this feeling…."

Haley hesitated unsure if she should tell Nathan all of this. It felt a little like gossiping and this was her boss. Then again, Nathan did know her and had recently met with her. He might be able to shed some light on her odd behavior.

"I don't think her results were what she wanted-I'm only guessing," Haley said holding up her hands to convey her seriousness, "but she wants to do more research and is going to apply for an extension of the grant….So, she's under a lot of stress."

"Is that it?" Nathan asked holding his breath.

"I also think she may be having money problems. I overheard her talking to a bill collector."

Nathan was kind of surprised. How greedy was this lady? "Didn't she get a promotion?"

"Yes, but it's not like a regular promotion. She partnered so she actually had to pay Dr. Muller to get her shares in the practice. It'll be a while before she sees the profits. I think the idea is that when he retires, she'll have this practice."

"What about you? Think you would stay on here?"

Haley shook her head vehemently. "Absolutely not. Not only do I not want to work for someone like Dr. Rimkus, but lately I'm leaning towards a different kind of setting. I think I want to advocate for children with autism. I want to help people understand children who have trouble communicating."

One corner of Nathan's mouth curled up. Haley was simply remarkable. "Like you did with me."

Haley beamed. Now that she knew Nathan was interested in seeing Matthew again, she wanted to share the details of her last visit with him. She was still going to hold back on the new direction of her research. He didn't need to know that….yet. "You should have seen Matthew on Thursday. He was bouncing of the walls when I got there. He had on a Lakers jersey and was reciting all of your stats. Then, he made me watch a clip of you online. His mom says he's obsessed with you now. He's even learning how to use the computer so he can read up on you."

Just like before, Nathan felt conflicted. He was honored, but also humbled. He didn't deserve the adoration of this kid, just for playing basketball. It was people like Haley who deserved that kind of attention and respect.

Haley could see Nathan struggling with this. "Nathan, you're helping him. You're making him want to learn new things. He was trying his hardest to tell me all about you. It was the coolest thing."

Nathan saw that same twinkle in her eyes from the last time they were together. Again, mixed emotions flooded him. "Haley, I don't know what I'm doing with this kid and I don't want to screw him up."

"You won't," Haley promised.

"I only want to visit him with you. I don't want to go alone."

Haley was starting to see his emotions ran a bit deeper than she thought. It wasn't just that he was uncomfortable about not knowing much about autism. This had to do with himself. She stood up. "Do you mind if we talk about this some more? And I can start to take notes?"

"Okay," Nathan sighed. It made him anxious, but he also trusted Haley and knew she needed to take notes for her own records anyway.

Haley went back to her chair with her notepad and pen. "Why don't you want to go alone?"

"Because I don't know what I'm doing." …And he wanted to share the experience with her. He didn't feel it was appropriate to tell her that since they were supposed to keep things professional.

Haley nodded and scribbled down some notes. She looked up at Nathan. "When you play basketball, do you have to think about what you're doing?"

"Sometimes I go into a game with a plan…like drills we practice, but most of the time, it comes naturally."

"Like a reflex?"

"Yeah…" He tried to figure out where she was going with this. "I've been playing for years. Then, there was my dad. He drilled things into me pretty good, for better or worse. He used to make me stand out in the driveway and make free-throw after free-throw before I could go play with my friends."

"So, you built up that confidence?"

"My confidence didn't come from my dad," Nathan explained. "It came in spite of him. I think I only began to really see how good I was after Luke joined the Ravens. Before that, I just believed everything my dad told me. He tore me down all the time. He told me I could never be as good as him. Luke never bought that. Once I saw Luke was right, I started to question everything my dad taught me."

"And now, when it comes to basketball, do you play for yourself?"

Nathan shrugged. "I used to play well when my father came to my games. I do better under pressure. Having him at a game was like having a gun held to my head."

The sight of Nathan with a gun held to his temple in the bank flashed before Haley.

Nathan saw Haley turned as white as a ghost as her eyes widened in fear. He realized what he said. "You okay? How are you holding up?"

Haley's color began to return as laughter spilled out of her. It started off slowly and built up to a full-out belly laugh.

Nathan loved her laugh. He began laughing too, even though he didn't know why.

"Holding up?" Haley said through a burst of laugher. "Really? Holding up?"

Getting the joke, Nathan laughed harder, this time at himself. Once the laughter died down, he looked at her seriously. He knew from Lucas that she was okay, but ever since all those things about her father's death came out, he was starting to think she held back from her best friend. "So, are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Haley said shaking her head. She saw that he was unconvinced. "Tell you what…we can talk about this at the end, okay? I want to go back to basketball…and your father."

Nathan went back to being anxious…and impatient. "Haley, I trust you. Why don't you just tell me what you're getting at. Tell me what you think."

Haley still didn't think she could just come out and tell him, but she could speed it up. "You've referenced yourself as a 'dumb jock' a couple of times. Did people treat you like that?"

Nathan shrugged. "I was never good in school. My junior year I almost flunked off the team."

"So, your parents didn't care about your grades?"

"My mom wasn't around. My dad only cared enough so that I could play. He hired me a private tutor long enough to get my grades back up." Nathan eyes shifted down and to the right.

"So, your tutor helped you improve?"

"Not exactly with academics," Nathan muttered.

"What?" Haley asked.

Nathan slowly looked up. "Maybe this isn't going to work."

Haley's heart sank as she set down her pen. "Why not?"

"Because I'm worried about what you're going to think about me."

Haley understood he was holding something significant back. "Nathan, you can tell me. I promise I won't judge you."

"First tell what you think is going on with me. What are all these questions about?"

"I don't think you have much confidence in yourself." In fact, she was willing to take it a step further. "I think you have low self-esteem."

Nathan's eyebrows shot up. _He_ had low self-esteem? _He_ was the hometown hero of Tree Hill. _He_ helped lead the Raven's to their first state championship. _He_ received a full scholarship to Duke. He played for the D-Fenders. If all went well, _he_ was about to play for the Lakers.

He tried to see himself through Haley's eyes. All of these achievements were tied to basketball….and his complicated relationship with his father. When Haley knew him in high school, he was a bully. When they first met in that elevator, he let his cocky exterior shine through. His anger issues….could they be connected to that too? No matter if it was true or not, Haley believed it and she was still sitting right there. And deep down, he still could see _that look_ in her eyes. It didn't change a thing between them. She wasn't judging him or holding it against him. He never met anyone who did that before.

His thoughts when back to that tutor. "I slept with my tutor," he blurted out.

Haley tried to hide her surprise. "The one your dad hired?"

"Yeah," Nathan reluctantly admitted. "It was right after Peyton broke up with me. So, the tutor didn't really help that much with school."

"Did you have a relationship with her?"

"I wouldn't call it that. She was a college student. It was just….well, it was just sex." There was no other way to put it.

Haley picked up her pen and wrote down "casual sex" in her notebook. First Rachel, now this tutor. She also knew from Peyton that his relationship with her revolved around sex as well. She tried not to let these things bother her. It all aligned with characteristics of someone with low self-esteem. "How did you get back on the team then?"

"I didn't want my dad to find out about the tutor, so I just started to work a little harder." Nathan saw a small smile briefly cross Haley's lips. He knew what she was thinking.

"So you did it yourself?" She asked. "When you applied yourself, you could do it."

"It wasn't a big deal," Nathan said dismissively.

Haley shifted her position. "See! You don't give yourself credit!"

"I do with basketball. I know I'm good with that." Nathan paused and added, "But I guess I learned that. I have to give my dad some credit for teaching me and sending me to camps and clinics. It wasn't all natural ability."

"Is there anything else you're good at? Naturally?"

Nathan smirked and laughed. He couldn't help himself. He raised his eyebrow suggestively at Haley.

Haley rolled her eyes. She looked down at the notes trying not to let her mind wander. It didn't work. She started to think about how she was sure Nathan was not being cocky. He was probably really good at sex. He probably knew his way around a woman really well. She remembered the way his hands held her as they danced. She remembered the way his lips graced her forehead with that tender kiss. She remembered another tender moment; the way he brushed his fingers over her neck and cleared a spot to plant a kiss. It was that kiss that tapped into her vulnerabilities and caused her to lash out at him in the safe room.

Most of all, she remembered the way he kissed her. With the exception of the first one, which was gentle and nervous, the following ones had been full of passion. Haley subconsciously licked her lips as she thought about how at one point, his tongue slid across that very spot.

As Nathan watched her stare off into space, he knew she was thinking about him….Which meant she was thinking about him and sex. He grew uneasy. He wasn't sure why. He cleared his throat and regained Haley's attention. She flushed red and this time, he did as well. "Uh…I guess maybe you're right. I've never thought about anything other than basketball for myself."

Haley returned to her original point. "You have good instincts, Nathan, and not just with basketball; with people, too. It's why Matthew took to you so quickly. It's why he felt so safe in your arms." Haley could relate. She'd experienced that same security, too.

"I'm afraid I'll screw him up. That's why I want you to be there," he repeated his earlier assertion.

Haley gave him a reassuring smile. "Well, I'll be there."

"What about today? Should I go today, too?"

Haley shook her head. "We don't want him to think every other—"

They both looked up as Dr. Rimkus stormed through the door. Her eyes darted from Nathan to Haley to the vase of roses on her desk. She turned to Nathan, her eyes filled with fury. "Did you give those to her?"

Haley stood up with her notepad in her hand. "Dr. Rimkus, we're in the middle of a session here." She held up her notes. "Can't this wait?"

"I want to remind you that you're working under my license. I have every right to be here!"

"Yes, but these are my personal hours and then we can discuss later—"

"Don't tell me the guidelines! I'm done messing around with the two of you."

Nathan stood up. "Don't talk to her that way," he said harshly. "If you're upset with me, take it out on me."

"Did you get her those flowers?"

"I did," Nathan said unapologetically. "I was late—"

"That is highly inappropriate! Everything about the two of you is inappropriate."

"You want to talk about inappropriate?" Haley challenged her. "You interrupting a session _is inappropriate_. You forcing me to take this case in the first place _was inappropriate_. You faxing over paperwork with my name on it without telling me and then forcing me to sign off _was inappropriate_! At this point, all I'm doing is honoring my commitment to my patient—"

"HA!" Dr. Rimkus scoffed loudly. She stared Nathan down and lowered her voice. "He's no patient."

Nathan was just about done with her. He was proud of Haley for taking a stand and wanted to back her up, even if it meant it might lead to his secret coming out. However, after what Haley told him about Dr. Rimkus, his instincts told him a bluff was in order. "You know what, Dr. Rimkus, if you're so bothered by all of this, why don't we take a walk down the hall together to Dr. Muller and tell him all of this. We'll tell him everything," he said pointedly. "I'd love to hear what his recommendation is."

Haley watched as Dr. Rimkus balked. There was more going on here than she was aware of.

"Listen, you two can continue these sessions on one condition—no communication out of these sessions. I'm smarter than you two think and know that you both weren't coincidently in that bank at the same time. That is the kind of thing the California Ethics Commission will look for." She looked at Haley then Nathan. "Is that clear? The only time you two will talk or see each other is in these sessions?"

"We already talked about that," Haley said looking her in the eye.

"We did," Nathan confirmed. "And despite what you think, we were having a serious conversation. Haley was helping me realize I have some confidence issues."

Dr. Rimkus gave a short, wicked laugh. "Right. Confidence issues. Wow, you're good, Mr. Scott….Haley, I had more faith in you than to fall for this act."

It almost looked like she was jealous. Haley ignored her. "Dr. Rimkus, I'd like to get back to my work, please. I'll talk with you later if you'd like."

"No need. I have my hands full with paperwork. Just know you've both been warned." With that, Dr. Rimkus walked out, slamming the door behind her.

"Wow! Nathan, how did you do that?"

Nathan let out a heavy breath. "I don't think Dr. Muller knows she passed you off to me."

"I wasn't sure about that, but I think you're right. I always respected him more the Dr. Rimkus, but I guess he's distracted if he hasn't caught on. His wife is sick and he's in an out these days."

"Does this mean I can't come with you to see Matthew?"

Haley cocked her head back and forth. "I was still hoping you would."

"Really?" Nathan asked surprised.

"I can't lie…I want to see how you communicate with Matthew. It would be good for my research. Like I said before, I'll just keep things vague about you in my notes."

Nathan felt good about this. He liked the idea of helping Haley. It helped to ease his guilt. He still wasn't sold on the idea he could be useful, but it was possible Haley was right about him. Maybe he was good at more than basketball…and sex, of course. He was still very confident in that area. "If you're okay with that…"

"Thursday." Haley put aside her notepad. They had made enough progress for the day. In her experience, one breakthrough was good for a session. Any more than that, the patient could leave confused or become defensive and reject what they learned. It usually worked well if the patient took time to process that one thing themselves. "So, have you been sleeping?"

Nathan understood the formal part of the session was over. He relaxed. "Not really. I've had some nightmares."

"I haven't been sleeping either. And my nightmares are the same as they were before. What are yours about?"

"They're different every time. The only thing that's the same is the gun pointed at the back of your head."

Haley's eyes widened. "My head? That's funny. That didn't even happen."

"Yeah, it did," Nathan said slowly. "You didn't see it. He crept out behind you as soon as you walked in. He didn't see me at first. We startled him, that's for sure."

This was all news to Haley. It shook her to her core. She began quivering. She recalled the slow motion sequence of events that ended with Nathan on top of her on the floor. "Shots…The shots…He shot…He would have…Oh my God." She closed her eyes and covered her face with her hands.

Nathan wasn't sure what to do. He didn't mean to upset her like that. In any other setting, he would have tried to physically comfort her, but with her sitting in that chair across from him, it would have been awkward. Plus, Dr. Rimkus' warning was still floating around in his mind. It was probably best to keep his distance….at least here. "Hales, you can call me you know."

Haley's head popped up. "Huh?"

"If you're having trouble sleeping…no matter how late. Trust me, I'll probably be up."

"I can't… I shouldn't do that….We already breaking so many rules."

"So, what's one more? Tell you what….You have my number. I don't have yours. It's up to you. I just don't see point in both of us suffering. We _went_ through the same thing….and it sounds like we _are going_ through the same thing."

"I'm not going to call you." She couldn't do it. If she did that, it would be over. _There would be on going back._ She picked back up her notepad. "Let's get back to you. Tell me more about your sleeping patterns."

So, this was how it was going to be. She was going to shut him out. He would let it go…for now. On Thursday, he would have time to try and get through to her; if she didn't call him before that. Now that the offer was out there, he was really hoping she would.

Nathan took a moment to mentally tally up his victories. His bluff on Dr. Rimkus was successful. His paperwork was signed off. He was attending his sessions anyway to help Haley out. She was really helping him. He was going to see Matthew again….with Haley.

Nathan was starting to think he could have it all…They could have it all; if he could just get Haley on board…

* * *

><p>Haley rolled over and looked at the clock on her nightstand. It was 12:23 a.m. That had to be a sign. She had been in bed for over three hours and was no closer to sleep than when she crawled in. She grabbed her phone and spent a few seconds aimlessly clicking between standby and on.<p>

She let Dr. Rimkus' words play over in her head; the ones she issued at Haley on her way out from the office. "Stay away from him, Haley. Do what's best for all of us, including you."

Haley put the phone back down and, lied back down and closed her eyes.

The image if Nathan with the gun held against his head flashed before her. It was quickly followed by the gun pushed into his chest. She heard the clicking of the safety trigger. Next, she felt the gun on the back of her head.

Haley shot up and put her hand on the back of her head. She realized it was over. She turned on the bedside lamp. Her heart was racing. She needed to hear his voice. Once she heard it, she could get some sleep. She grabbed the slip of paper with his number that was just under her phone. She dialed his number quickly before she could give it a second thought. He answered on the third ring.

"Hello?"

"Nathan?...It's Haley."

"Haley? As in Dr. Haley James?"

Haley smiled. "Not doctor."

"Oh, sorry. So, it's just Haley James. Or is it Hales?" Nathan continued to tease her.

Haley sighed. He already had her flustered. "You pick. Just not Doc."

"So,….Hales, what are you doing?"

"I'll tell you what I'm _not _doing….sleeping. Were you?"

"No. Not even close."

"So, it's not too late?"

"No."

Silence fell over the phone and Haley remembered that she was the one who called him. Now, she just didn't know what to say. "What are you doing?"

"Sitting here with my phone in my hand waiting for you to call," Nathan deadpanned.

"Ha, ha." Haley began to pick up on the background noise. "Is that the wind I hear?"

"I'm actually on the beach."

"Oh, the beach," Haley said jealously.

"It's beautiful out here. I wish you could see it."

"I wish I could too."

"You could. You could join me. I'll even come get you."

Was he crazy? There was no way she was doing that. "I don't think so."

Nathan understood it was a long shot. "Then, how about I tell you about it?"

"That sounds nice."

"I can see the moon. It's almost full and the reflection off the water—it's pretty cool; nothing like it. The tide is pretty far out, but I can hear the waves off in the distance. There's a cool breeze and the sand is cool too."

"I like it when it's warm."

"I know what you mean, but this is nice." Nathan dug his foot into the sand and lifted it out as he spoke. "It just kind of slips through your toes."

"Now, I'm jealous," she admitted. "Why are you there so late?"

"I couldn't sleep and this helps. It clears my head."

"But you have your phone?"

"Haley, I know you think I throw at these lines at you and maybe that's true, but I do mean what I say. I took my phone with me hoping you'd call. I've had it close by all night."

Haley's heart warmed. "I guess I should have called earlier."

"This is fine. Better late than never."

"Rimkus can't find out."

"She won't. This is just between you and me. Luke doesn't even have to know."

"He's been calling me every day to see how I'm doing." Lucas had freaked out when he heard about the robbery. He couldn't seem to let go that two of the people he cared most about had that experience and that it could have been a lot worse.

"Me too, but I'm used to him annoying my ass."

"Not me. We kind of lost touch after we graduated. He moved, then I moved… Even now, we're almost an hour apart. At first we called each other a lot. Then, it kind of faded out. Lately, we talk maybe once a month and see each other even less."

"That should change when I start playing for the Lakers. He'll be all up in my face about getting tickets, just you wait and see! He'll be in the area for every home game."

Haley was starting to get caught up in the excitement for Nathan going pro. "I really hope things go well for you."

"They will….Especially with you in my corner."

"Well, I am in your corner. I'll be cheering you on."

"A Laker Girl, huh? Are you going to try out? I bet you'd make a hot cheerleader. You certainly have the body for it."

"Nathan!"

"You do."

"Well, I'm a total klutz, so I don't think that would work. I'll cheer you on from the sidelines."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

"Now, I have to make the team."

"You do. I'll even wear a Laker's jersey for you."

"What if I get you one of the cheerleader's uniforms? Would you wear that?"

Haley laughed. "Absolutely not."

"Really? There's nothing that would get you to wear that? Because let me tell you, you would look so hot."

Haley was flattered. She knew this was harmless flirting, but she never had anyone talk that way about her body, including her two ex's. Then again, they were both losers. "Maybe for Halloween."

"Halloween. Deal, Haley James."

Haley panicked. It was barely July, but still. "I said maybe!"

"I have about four months to work on you. I'll win you over by then."

Haley thought about this for a moment. Four months. Halloween. Where would she be then? What would her relationship with him be like then? It was an exciting possibility. At the back of her mind was the concern that four months from now, she should be focused on her dissertation. Would she have time for anything else? Time for something simple like going to one of Nathan's games? Celebrating Halloween? Haley didn't typically do those kinds of social things. She never had time. She also had no desire. Would that change? And how would she find time during what should a time of great focus as she worked on the last piece of getting that coveted Ph.D. Yes, Nathan had his work cut out for him…If he was serious. But he probably wasn't. This was just flirting after all and it was certainly better than fighting to fall asleep. "We'll have to see."

* * *

><p>"Haley?"<p>

"Mm..hmm."

"I hate to do this to you, but my phone's about to die and my charger is downstairs. I think I'm about to fall asleep anyway."

"You're home?" Haley yawned. "When did you go home?"

"About an hour ago."

Haley looked over at the clock. It was four a.m. "I'm sorry I kept you up so late."

"Are you kidding? I get to sleep in. You have to go to work. _I'm_ sorry _I _kept _you_ up."

"I didn't mind, but I probably should try and get a few hours in."

"Okay. Night, Hales."

"Night, Nathan." As soon as he hung up, Nathan was aware that they hadn't made plans for getting together on Thursday to see Matthew. Well, now he had her phone number and a solid excuse to call her. Tomorrow he would do just that.

After hanging up the phone, Haley had that giddy feeling inside her. She looked again at the clock. Yup, there was no way she was going to be able to fall asleep now.

* * *

><p>Preview of next chapter: "Just a Kiss" (Lady Antebellum)<p>

AN: Not the best chapter, I know! Sorry it took so long to post this. To make up for it, I'm willing to give a sneak peek of the next chapter. It should come with a warning; it will leave you wanting more! Just let me know if you want it.

One other thing I wanted to share: I am using references to the movie _A Beautiful Mind_ in an upcoming chapter. If you haven't seen it and are looking for a good movie to watch, I highly recommend it. I also wanted to give fair warning that I might spoil some things if you haven't seen it (if you have, you know exactly what I'm talking about). If you don't want to be spoiled because you'd like to see the movie someday, let me know. I could probably edit those parts out and post a special version just for you (somehow!). I don't give away everything, but the movie is a psychological thriller, so it is a better experience if you go into it with a blind eye My old roommate saw it and came home and was so excited, she came and woke me up. She simply said, "You have to see it. It has to do with psychology. Go see it!" She wouldn't tell me anything else, and I'm so happy she didn't. So, if you have time I'll say the same thing to you; you have to see it!

My next post will be for Far Away; I'm excited to post that one. It's a pretty significant chapter as things start to come together. I just need to edit it a little more. Look for that _very _soon!

Thanks for reading and reviewing! Your kind words are encouraging, especially as I write the sensitive aspects of this story. I'm enjoying writing it, so I hope you continue to enjoy reading it. Thanks again!


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer #1**: Characters, minor plot points and dialogue belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and _One Tree Hill_ writers.

**Disclaimer #2**: Although my career is in the field of psychology, I have taken a lot of liberties with my story. My background is nothing like Haley's in this story. Her story only has _a little_ basis in reality. I know many people in that field who have given me inspiration for details here and there, but this situation is entirely fictional. Please don't take what you read as fact, especially when it comes to the research discussed and ethics of practicing psychology. As with all my stories, you have to use the suspension of disbelief, just as you do with our favorite tv show. The examples in this story are merely for plot purposes. If you do have questions or concerns about the psychological elements of the story, please feel free to pm. I'd love to discuss!

Special thanks to **Chat1** for ideas for this chapter and the next!

Chapter 12: "Just a Kiss" (Lady Antebellum)

Haley readjusted the pillow under her head and tried once again to get comfortable. A few minutes later, she gave up. She sat up, pulled the hair elastic off her wrist and fixed her hair into a messy bun. She picked up her phone from the coffee table to check the time. It was 6:30pm.

More importantly, she had one missed call and a text message…from Nathan. The text was sent at 5:30pm. It read: _Are you still at work?_ He had called after that, twenty minutes ago, but didn't leave a message.

Haley's mind began to race. How had she missed that text message? What did he want? Where they going to have another night staying up talking? She had tried to take that nap, just in case. Then it hit her; Matthew's visit. He was just trying to set up their visit. She debated calling or texting him. In end, she wanted to hear his voice and figured since he called, it would be okay if she called him back. She excitedly pulled up her recent call list and called his number.

"Hello?" Nathan answered loudly amidst heavy background noise.

"Hi!" Haley picked up that he was out somewhere. "Are you busy? Is this a bad time?"

"No, no. Are you still at work?"

"I'm home now. I was so exhausted that I wasn't being productive so I left about forty-five minutes ago. I tried to go home and sleep-but I can't."

Nathan stood up and switched his phone to his other ear as he reached in his back pant pocket and pulled out his wallet. He slid his credit card across the bar towards Owen. "I'm just heading out myself."

"Oh. Do you need to go?"

"No—just give me a minute." Nathan stopped talking long enough to sign his credit card slip. He began to talk again as he stepped outside. "So, I was just at the bar by your work."

"You were?" Haley asked regretfully. If she had known that….well, she probably wouldn't have done anything. A sleepless night hadn't done her any favors as far as her physical appearance. She walked into her bedroom and looked into the mirror. She began putting some concealer under the large circles under her eyes.

"I was." Nathan hoped she'd take the hint. He got into his car and waited. "So, are you real tired?"

Haley finished putting on some chapstick when she began to wonder what she was doing. She wasn't seriously trying to make herself look better while simply talking to Nathan on the phone? She left her bedroom and went back out to the living room. "I'm okay." She picked up her remote control, turned on the tv and began scrolling through a list of movies from the on demand feature. "I'm thinking of watching a movie….a comedy."

"Like what?" Nathan asked intrigued.

"Umm…" Haley scrolled down. "_Hangover_?"

"Great movie. You'll like it."

Haley continued to move down the list. "What about _Knocked Up_?"

"Eh…It's funny. Kinda of tried too hard to be a chick flick for me. You might like it."

Haley kept scrolling. She stopped on exactly the kind of movie she had been thinking of. "Oh! _Stepbrothers_! What about that one? I haven't seen it! Have you?"

Nathan put his car into drive. He finally was confident that he understood what was going on. "I heard that's a great movie."

"You haven't seen it?" Haley asked hopefully.

Nathan saw no way around this. He had to lie. "No, but I've always wanted to."

"Well," Haley said gathering her courage, "maybe you could come by…I mean if you're in the area…"

"I'm ten minutes away—"

"Holy shit!" Haley said panicking. "I'm in my pajamas! I have to go!"

"You don't have to change.—" Before he could finish, Haley had hung up the phone.

Nathan put his foot down on the gas pedal. This was going to be fun.

Haley threw her phone down on the coffee table and looked around the room. She didn't know where to begin. Sure, to most people, her place would seem clean, but it wasn't quite up to her standards for having guests. She ran to her kitchen, grabbed some cleaning spray and paper towels and began wiping down everything in sight. She quickly ran into the living room and did the same. As she wiped her hands on her sweatshirt, she remembered what she was wearing.

"Oh my God!" Haley shouted. She threw away her paper towels and put away her cleaning spray. She took off Nathan's black sweatshirt and smelled it. It reeked of cleaning fluids. So did her apartment. She threw his sweatshirt on the floor and ran over to her cabinets. She pulled out a package of microwave popcorn and put it in the microwave and set the timer. That should mask the smell and convince Nathan that she really was getting ready to watch a movie. Back to herself.

Haley grabbed the sweatshirt from the floor and ran into her bedroom. She knew she couldn't give it back to him like this. She lifted up one of the pillows on her bed and stuffed it underneath. Satisfied, she ran over to her mirror. "Urgh!" She exclaimed looking at her hair. It was in complete disarray. She knew that Nathan liked it down, but that was just not possible. She was in the process of putting into a bun when she heard the knock on her door. She froze in panic. This was not happening. What was she thinking inviting him over like that? And how could she let him in wearing that? As the knocking grew louder, Haley knew she had to let him in. She would do that, then quickly go change….and brush her teeth…She had to do that.

Haley ran over and opened up the door. Just as quickly, she turned around. "I still have to change."

Nathan took a large step inside the apartment and grabbed her arm before she got too far away. As she turned around, he looked her over. She had on a pair of white pajama pants with pink polka dots and a matching pink tank top. Her hair was piled on the back of her head with a few loose strands hanging down. "Hey, you don't have to change. Trust me, you don't. This may be my favorite look on you."

Haley crossed her arms over her chest, cocked her head and looked skeptically at Nathan. He had on a pair of black jeans and red polo shirt. "That's easy for you to say! You're all dressed up!"

"Fine," Nathan said with a chuckle. "I take it back. This is not my favorite look on you."

Haley's face flushed with disappointment. After that comment, she wasn't going to change. She still had to brush her teeth though. "I'll be right back….You can get settled."

"I hope you change into my favorite look on you," Nathan called after her.

Haley took a few steps backward from down the hall. She looked curiously at Nathan. "What look is that?"

Nathan smirked with a twinkle in his eye. "It would have to be you in that short towel."

Haley's mouth dropped open. She was both horrified and amused. She forgot he had seen her like that until he mentioned it. She quickly ran ahead to the bathroom. Once inside, she fell back against the door and closed her eyes. She had to get a grip.

Nathan casually walked around Haley's apartment as he waited for her. It was his second time there but the first time he didn't get to look around. The apartment door opened up into the living room. The kitchen was set off to the back right, with a half wall separating the two rooms. To the left was the hallway. The room on the right was the bathroom and Haley's bedroom was on the right. As far as he knew, that was it. It was simple, yet cozy. The decorations were warm with a feminine touch—curtains, blankets, throw pillows and candles. It was all Haley.

He went over to her entertainment center and began looking at some of the pictures spread on some the shelves. One of them looked similar to the one she had in her office. Now that he knew more about her, he knew it was a family portrait. The one in her office looked posed, while in this one, the family was laughing hysterically. He could tell the source of this amusement was the man standing in the center of the photo with a mischievous glint in his eye. He was the only one looking right at the camera. He wasn't sure what Haley's father had done, but he recognized the look Haley's mom was giving him. She looked like she was fighting off the urge to both slap and laugh at her husband. It was the same look Haley gave him a few times. In fact, she had just done it when he teased her about the towel.

The rest of the family, both children and grandchildren, including Haley, were either looking away or at Haley's dad. He narrowed in on Haley. She looked genuinely happy. This time he was sure the guy with his arm around her had to be one of her brothers. He looked around at the grandchildren. He assumed the boy looking away from the camera with a far off look in his eyes was Michael and the brunette next to her had to be his mother. Just like when he looked at the photograph in her office, he could tell Haley came from a tight-knit family.

He looked at next picture frame on the shelf below. It was of Haley's parents on their wedding day. Her mom had long blond hair that hung down to the middle of her back. She was wearing a simple white dress with thin straps that cinched at her waist and flowed down to her knees. Her father had on a pair of bright blue pants and an untucked white dress shirt with ruffles down the center and had hair down past his chin. They were both barefoot standing on the beach. Nathan quickly concluded they looked like two 70's hippies madly in love. It was their pose that told him that. They had their arms wrapped around each other. His hands were around her back by her shoulders and hers with around his lower back. Their eyes were closed and faces cast downward as Haley's dad kissed her mom's forehead.

It was far cry from his parent's wedding picture; that giant monstrosity graced his living room right up until the divorce. It had all the signs of a lavish wedding and his parents had phony smiles plastered on their faces. He also knew that underneath his mother's puffed out beaded gown was a baby bump. Yes, the only reason his parents rushed to the altar was because of his impending arrival. It didn't quite make his parent's romance a fairytale, but you would never know it from the pictures or one of their social gatherings. Dan and Deb Scott knew how to put on a good show; he would give them that. It lasted all the way until his junior year of high school.

As he thought of his parents, he was reminded how much he didn't want to turn out like them. He would rather die than knock a girl up—never mind two girls like his father did—and be forced into marriage. No, he was not the marrying kind…but there was something to be said for Haley's parent's picture. He had never seen one quite like that. For a quick moment, he doubted his personal resolution to never get trapped by a girl into marriage. Just as quickly, he reminded himself that his genetic code was a disaster waiting to happen when it came to marriage.

Nathan was still looking at the pictures when Haley came out from the bathroom. She smiled as she brushed past him and headed to the kitchen. He was relieved to see she was still wearing those sexy pajamas. His eyes lingered on her ass as she took the popcorn bag out of the microwave and grabbed a bowl from her cabinet. Realizing he was staring, he looked back at the pictures before she caught him. "Uh, Hales…I'm looking at this picture. It kind of looks like the one in your office, but—"

Haley knew exactly what picture he was talking about. "You mean the one where my dad just finished grabbing my mom's ass?" Haley laughed.

Nathan took a closer look. Yes, that would explain the picture. "He did that?"

"My dad, yeah. He was always doing stuff like that. He just had this way of-making you laugh,-even when you were mad or upset. It was one of his trademarks." Haley paused a moment as she thought about this. "I miss him. I miss that," she sighed.

Haley was shaking out the last remnants of popcorn into the bowl when she felt Nathan's hands on her shoulders. She slightly jumped, but relaxed as he began slightly massaging her. She continued to tell him about the picture. "It was taken on the fourth of July. We always got the whole family together for that holiday. We tried to do it again last year, but it just wasn't the same. This year, we're all splitting up. My mom and sister think they're surprising me with a visit this weekend, but my other sister let the cat of the bag."

"They're coming in this weekend?"

"Saturday morning, I think," Haley sighed. She knew they were trying to do a nice thing, but in truth, she would just prefer to hunker down , focus on her work and get through the holiday weekend alone. "It'll be fine," she said trying to convince herself. "Just different."

"Well, I'm around this weekend if you need someone to liven things up."

Haley turned around and sheepishly smiled at him. She bet his presence would do just that. She handed him the bowl. "I'll think about that. I'm not sure exactly what the plan is anyway. Here, you can take this over to the couch." She watched him as he walked away with the bowl. With the exception of Lucas, who helped her move in, this was the first time she had a guy in this apartment. It was also the first time she'd been with a guy like this in a while. As she checked her fridge for drinks, she saw that she was totally unprepared. "What do you want to drink? I wish I could offer you a beer, but I can't."

"Nah, it's fine. What are you having?"

Haley needed something to take the edge off. She grabbed a bottle of wine from a cabinet and held it up to him. "It's red?" She hoped that was acceptable. She looked at the label. "And cheap, but it's something?"

Wine was a little too mature for Nathan. Truthfully, sometimes he forgot that he was out of the college. When he went out to bars, it was usually that crowd he somehow always ended up with. Being with Haley like this….it was all new to him. It was like a real date; an adult one. He wasn't exactly sure how to handle it yet. "How about a glass of water?"

Haley nodded. She pulled out a glass and filled it with ice and water and brought it over to him. She went back to the kitchen, pulled out a stool from the kitchen island, pushed it over to her kitchen counter. She stood on the chair and fetched out a wine glass from her highest cabinet shelf.

Nathan watched her with great concern. "Do you need help?"

"Nope. I got it."

Nathan watched her climbed down. Now filled with relief that she was okay, his mind went back to how great her ass looked in those pants. She had some nice curves. He started to get hot thinking about it. He watched her uncork the bottle; that was sexy as hell.

As she came toward him with the bottle of wine in one hand and the wine in glass in the other, he began to get nervous. He moved to the far end of the couch. He regretted that move the second Haley sat down on the opposite end. He was really off his game tonight, but knew he could recover. He swiftly stood up. "Uh, I think maybe I will have some of that wine."

Haley stood up.

Nathan brushed her off. "I'll get a glass." He took a glass out from the same cabinet she got hers. He walked around to the far side of the couch, but purposefully moved over and sat next to her. He gave her a broad grin as he handed her his glass.

Haley filled his glass and handed it back to him. She liked the fact that he was sitting next to her, but she was also nervous as hell. She prayed she wouldn't make a fool of herself. She took a sip of her wine and took a few pieces of popcorn and popped it into her mouth. She turned her head and saw that Nathan was relaxing. He was sitting back against the couch with his wine glass in one hand and his other arm stretched out along the back top of the couch. Haley turned her attention to her wine. She wanted nothing more than to sit back and feel that arm slide around her, but needed more alcohol to relax. After taking few long drinks, she held up the popcorn bowl to Nathan. "Want some?"

Nathan shook his head. He was in position. There was no way he was moving.

Haley picked up the remote and started the movie. She stayed upright for a few more minutes before she had the courage to get settled. Then, she set down her glass and slowly leaned back. Just as she anticipated, Nathan's arm quickly slid around her shoulders. It sent a jolt through her body. Nathan quickly began to pull it away and Haley's eyes flew over to him. She relaxed when she saw he was just taking a few sips of his wine and setting the glass down on the table. When he was finished, Haley lifted up so he could slide his hand back around her. She felt a wave of heat rush through her body as his hand sank down to her waist.

"You comfortable?" Nathan asked skeptically. He could feel how tense she was. "I can move."

Haley took one look at him and knew she had to give in. Part of her was still fighting what was happening, and it was all connected to her job. She comforted herself with the idea that it was hypocritical to be willing to break the rules for his visits to Matthew, but not for something like this. Rimkus be damned, what happened in her home was none of the lady's business anyway.

Haley decided to take Nathan up on his offer. She twisted around as she pulled her feet up to the couch. She turned her knees toward Nathan, and rested the tip of them on his lap. She snuggled fully into his body with her head resting on his shoulder. "Is this okay?"

Hell, yeah. Nathan put his hand around her waist and squeezed it. "This is nice."

"I hope I don't fall asleep on you."

"You won't. This is pretty funny." Nathan quickly saw his mistake. "I mean, from what I heard…" He moved his hand and began rubbing her elbow. He felt her relax more and began rubbing her arm. There was something about feeling her skin that he loved. It was so soft and made him want to be gentle. He really wasn't used to being like that. It made him feel like a teddy bear. As he rubbed that arm, he wanted nothing more than to feel both her arms inside of his.

Then, there was her scent. It was different today. He began sniffing trying to figure out what it was. Haley lifted her head up and gave him a curious look. Nathan embraced it. "You smell different." He put his head right to her head and began sniffing. He continued on down her neck as she straighten up and then sniffed down the side of her arm. She began laughing as he pulled up her hand and brought it to his nose. He gave it a couple of sniffs, then placed a soft kiss on it. He felt her tense up again. He cursed himself for pushing too far, too fast. "I got it. You smell like Clorox…or Lysol."

Haley burst into a guilty laugh. "You're right. I was cleaning earlier. Sorry."

Nathan pulled her back to him. "It's okay. I like a clean woman!"

Haley smiled as she relaxed back into his arms. "Well, I am pretty clean….And you smell good, too. " She was sure it was that musky deodorant. It was the same scent that was on his sweatshirt.

"Must be all those pheromones," Nathan joked.

Haley chuckled, impressed that he remembered that conversation from the elevator. She had been rambling, but he had been listening.

As the movie began, they both started laughing in all the same places. Nathan was overly excited, knowing the movie so well, as certain parts neared. He loved seeing Haley enjoy it like she was and it made him oddly proud when they shared the same humor. He tried to be conscious of his lie. He wanted to avoid letting her know he'd already seen it a million times.

About a half hour into the movie, the cell phone lodged in his pant pocket began to vibrate. He knew Haley felt it since she sat up. "Damn him!" Nathan said before he even looked to see who it was.

He looked at the name gave a confirmed sigh of exasperation and turned the phone off. He left it out on the coffee table. He leaned back on the couch and held his arms for outs Haley. "Now, where were we?"

Haley barely had time to get back settled before her cell phone went off. She leaned forward and picked it up off the coffee table.

"Is that my brother?" Nathan huffed out.

Haley nodded she looked at the phone. She wanted to take the call, but since Nathan didn't take his, she didn't want to be rude. She let it go to voicemail.

"He's a freaking pain the ass," Nathan with irritation.

"He's just worried about us." After the bank holdup, both her mother and Lucas checked in with her religiously. She was used to that from her mother, but not from Lucas. "Hey, why didn't you answer? Did you not want him to know you were here?"

"Uh…Well, I don't know. " He pinched just under her ribs, making her laugh. "Maybe I just wanted to give all of my attention to you."

"You're distracting me! Nathan, we have to get out stories straight, especially since he's calling both of us. Should I not tell him you came over?"

Nathan hadn't given it much thought. "He's going to give us the third-degree. I know I don't want to have to deal with that. I also don't want to lie. It's easier if I just avoid him."

"Figures. That's your style."

"Hey!" Nathan said abounding offended.

"Well, I can't avoid him. He'll think something is wrong. When I talk to him, I'll just choose my words carefully."

"Whatever. Just give me the heads up when he catches on."

"Nathan, I'm studying to be a psychologist. I can handle Lucas."

"Fine," Nathan said still unconvinced.

Haley's phone began ranging again. Nathan gave her a challenging look. Haley knew she had to take it.

As she stood up to take the call, Nathan kept his eyes glued to the tv. One of his favorite parts was coming up.

"Hey!" Haley answered her phone as she walked towards the kitchen.

"Hey, Hales. How's it going?"

"Fine. I'm actually busy. I'm watching a movie. Can I give you a ring later?"

"Sure. I'll be up late. What movie are you watching?"

Haley smiled as Nathan began laughing loudly and banging his hand on his knee. She took a few steps away, fearing Lucas might hear. "_Stepbrothers_."

"Ha! Great movie. You know who's favorite movie that is? Nathan's. I think it reminds him of us."

Haley's smile grew wide. She'd suspected he had seen it. "Yeah, well, I like it too." Haley watched as Nathan paused the movie and looked at her expectantly. "I have to go. I'll give you a call later."

"Hey, Hales. Are you watching the movie alone? I thought I heard someone."

Haley turned away from Nathan as she bit her lip. The pressure was on and she had nothing. She took a few steps away and spoke quietly into the phone. "I'm alone."

In an effort to get more comfortable, Nathan took of his shoes. He also took the opportunity to take his wallet out of his back pocket. He lied down on the couch on his side, propping his head up on the pillow. He watched as Haley whispered into the phone. He knew Lucas was onto them. He figured there was no point hiding it. "Hey, baby, come back here and keep me company!" Nathan called out loudly.

"Luke, I gotta go. I forgot to pause the movie and my tv volume is too loud." She ended the call and shut off her phone.

She glared at Nathan as she made her way back to him. She pointed at him. "You," she said sternly.

"Am in I in trouble?" Nathan laughed.

Haley threw her phone on the table. "Yes. Big trouble."

"Can't wait," Nathan grinned as he put his lifted his hands behind his head.

"Glad to see you made yourself at home," Haley said shaking her head.

"I left you some room," Nathan said pointing to the spot in front of him. "You'll just have to get real close to me."

Haley knew he had something up his sleeve. She felt giddy with anticipation. She took a small pillow from the other side of the couch and put put it just below his. She gingerly took her spot on the couch, slightly below him, lying on her side, facing the tv. She reached over and restarted the movie.

Within seconds, she felt Nathan's hand over her stomach. Next, she felt his lips on her neck. Her heart skipped a beat as her mind caught up with the feelings rushing through her.

Nathan lips moved up her neck and let them hover above her ear. "Dr. Haley James…did you lie to my brother? Is that what they teach psychologists to do?"

Haley didn't have a response. Her eyes grew wide as Nathan's hand slipped under her tank top. She let him run his thumb in circles over her stomach. When his lips returned to her neck and his hand began to inch lower, Haley knew she was the one in trouble. When his hand slipped under the tip of her pants, she clasped her hand over his and pulled it back up.

"Is this too much?" Nathan whispered into her ear.

Haley held his hand firmly over her stomach. "This is okay."

"Okay." Nathan closed his eyes and rested his head in her hair. If this were a few years ago, stopping like this would have been a different story. He wouldn't have had the patience for it. It was all or nothing with him. If a girl wasn't ready for him, then he moved on to the next one. Now, things were different. Haley was different. The combination of him maturing and finding someone like her, gave him a whole new perspective. He moved his lips back to her ear. "I don't want to screw things up."

Haley twisted her head so she could see him. His blue eyes looked so serious, it almost made her want to laugh. "You won't. I just want to take things slow."

"How slow?" Nathan asked seriously. He was already holding back so much. He needed to know exactly what his limits were so there wouldn't be a problem.

Haley wasn't sure what to say. If this were a scheduled date, she would have rehearsed her usual mantra in her head. Tonight she was unprepared. She only knew the feelings she had for him were progressing rapidly. It was like nothing she ever experienced. It already made her do things she never dreamed of like going against her ethics. Now, the only measure of control she had left was taking the physical aspect of their relationship slow. "I'm not the kind of girl that has casual sex."

"I know that," Nathan said slightly miffed. He wasn't after that kind of thing with her, not now. He was up for some sort of action though. He had a million different possibilities running through his mind. Would she be up for any of them? Probably, not. He was going to have to exert some serious self-control.

Haley studied him closely. She saw his eyes scanning her. He was trying to read her. She had to help him out and that meant coming to a decision about what she was comfortable with. "For now, you can kiss me….and touch me like you did….but that's it….for tonight."

Nathan leaned forward and gave her a slow, lingering kiss. "Like that?"

Haley slightly nodded. He had literally stolen her breath with that kiss. She turned her head back around to face the tv.

"That's it? Just one kiss?" Nathan asked trying his best to sound devastated.

Haley repositioned his hand so it back under her tank top. "Maybe when the movie's over, I'll let you kiss me goodnight."

"It better be worth the wait." As Nathan refocused on the movie, he realized one of the parts he wanted Haley to see was over. He shifted around and tried his best to reach the remote.

Once Haley saw what he was doing, she handed him the remote. She knew he was about to give himself away. "Here. What do you want that for? I think I get what happened."

Nathan rewound it a little bit. "No, you have to see this part. It's my favorite. Luke and I quote it all the time."

Haley suppressed her laugh by biting her lip. When she recovered, she started to speak. "Oh, yeah? What quote—"

"Shhh," Nathan said urgently. He began quoting the movie along with the characters. He sat up animatedly repeating his favorite line. "_What! Did we just become best friends? Yup!_" Unable to help himself, he began to laugh wildly.

Haley got caught up his laughter and pretty soon, they were bordering on hilarity as they watched the next couple of scenes, with Nathan anxiously pointing out things.

Once those funny parts were over, Nathan calmed down. He was just thinking about how nice it was to have someone to laugh with like this, when it hit him. "Fuck," he blurted out.

Haley let out a knowingly laugh. "Yup."

"Well, it gets better every time you see it," Nathan tried to explain.

"I guess, I'm not the only one who lies!" Haley happily noted.

"Touché" Nathan conceded.

* * *

><p>Nathan reached over and grabbed the remote from the floor. Right after the movie ended, Haley had given it to him to find something else to watch. He was relieved she wasn't ready for the night to end either. Now, a half hour later, she was sound asleep. He wasn't sure what to do. He started by turning the tv off. Next, he looked around the room, as if searching for answers. There was a large part of him that told him he should leave, but he found himself unable to do that.<p>

Instead, he put his arms over Haley's and found the peace he'd been craving. For some reason, holding her like that, relaxed him like nothing else. He closed his eyes and drifted away to sleep.

Haley opened her eyes to a silent apartment, with the exception of a lightly snoring Nathan behind her. She gently pushed away his arm and got up. Nathan didn't stir at all. He was sleeping so soundly….she couldn't wake him. She looked at the clock. It was after one a.m. She needed to get back to sleep herself. She walked around her apartment and shut off all the lights. She grabbed a blanket from the foot of the couch and began to spread it over Nathan. She looked at him for a long minute before she made up her mind. She picked up her phone, turned it back on and set her alarm. She lifted up the blanket, climbed back onto the couch and brought Nathan's arm back over her. She pulled up the blanket and closed her eyes. It wasn't long before she fell back asleep.

* * *

><p>For once, Haley was grateful that her body worked on its own time clock. She awoke a few minutes before her alarm was scheduled to go off. She got up off of the couch. She was happy to see that Nathan was still sleeping. He was breathing heavily and his mouth was slightly opened. He had to of slept for at least seven hours. Considering his sleep issues, this was a good sign.<p>

Haley got ready for work quietly and quickly. She left Nathan a note to keep making himself at home and told him she would be back at her place shortly after noon to change to head out to Matthew's. She walked over and put the note on the coffee table. She looked at him one more time. She couldn't resist leaning down and laying a soft kiss on his cheek. She wasn't sure, but she swore he smiled a bit as she did it. She looked at him a little closer. No….He was asleep.

Once outside, the beaming sun invigorated her as she allowed the excitement the previous night invade her body. Nathan had spent the night! They had slept together….like actually slept! And nothing else happened.

She walked to her car with renewed faith. This could work. They could take things slow. They could see Matthew together. They would keep having their sessions; that was good for both of them. Rimkus would never know about their involvement outside of that. They could have it all.

* * *

><p>Haley and Linda sat on the benches alongside the basketball court watching <em>their boys<em> play. Yes, Haley was now comfortable mentally referring to Nathan as _her boy_. She wasn't even trying to hide in any more. She let him open the car door for her when he picked her up and waited for him to open it up when they arrived at Matthew's. They shared a kiss in the car and held hands on the drive there. They also held hands on the walk over from the house to the park. Haley was excited to be spending more time with Nathan, especially in this setting. She wasn't the only one. Haley continued to jot down notes in her notepad as she watched Matthew respond to Nathan.

Matthew was all wound up when Nathan first came in the house. Instead of being greeted with a hug or hello, Matthew began running around frantically in circles. He had no signs of slowing down when Nathan suggested they head down to the basketball court down the street. He was already dressed for the occasion in his black and red gym shorts, black sleeveless shirt and sneakers and had his basketball in his car. It had been part of his plan all along to shoot around with Matthew.

They had been at the court for a half hour now. Haley knew Nathan was getting restless. It was a lot to deal with any kid hyped up kid Matthew's age, never mind one that had special needs. Matthew's special needs didn't seem to pose too much of a problem with Nathan. He was a natural with him and already learning his idiosyncrasies.

At first Nathan tried to lift Matthew up so he could make a shot. He wanted to put him over his shoulders. Matthew wasn't having that. He clung to Nathan's leg instead. He finally let go when Nathan began taking shots from the foul line. Matthew counted each successful shot aloud and ran to retrieve to retrieve the ball for Nathan. After twenty-three, Matthew took Nathan's hand and led him to the left side. There, Matthew wanted to see Nathan's jump shot; twenty-three times. Then, he had to move the right to demonstrate the fadeaway. He had to get to twenty-three, with Matthew getting increasingly excited with each shot, his eyes always following the ball. He would jump up and down and flap his arms. It was his enthusiasm that kept Nathan going.

After the three cycles were over, Matthew led Nathan back to the foul line. Nathan really didn't want to go through all that again. Instead, he dribbled the ball to hoop on the other side of the court and dunked the ball. It was a gamble that paid off. Matthew loved it! Nathan did this a few more times. When he stopped to take a drink and catch his breath he noticed Matthew standing with the ball in his hand staring at the hoop. Nathan could just tell that he was studying things, probably using math and physics as he dreamed of the ball making it into the hoop. He felt it was time again to get Matthew more involved.

"Hey, Buddy," Nathan said as he walked a few steps in front of the foul line. Matthew walked over and tried to hand him the ball, his eyes still looking at the hoop. When Nathan didn't take the ball, Matthew briefly made eye contact. "I want to see you do. I know you can." Nathan imitated with his hands how he wanted to lift Matthew up towards the hoop.

Haley put down her notepad. She and Linda got up and went and stood on the sidelines. They both began to encourage him.

"You can do, Matthew."

"Show Nathan what you can do."

"It's okay, Matthew. Nathan will hold you."

"Just give it a try."

Matthew slowly walked over in front of Nathan. He kept the ball firmly in his hands held in front of his chest. Nathan leaned down and put his hands on Matthew's waist. He waited for a second to be sure he was okay with this. "Alright, Buddy. Look at the hoop. I'm going to lift you up." Matthew didn't respond, but he didn't move either. Nathan lifted him up. He quickly saw it wasn't high enough or comfortable for Matthew. He leaned down and lifted Matthew up again and put him over his shoulders. To his relief, Matthew didn't flip out.

Nathan got close to the hoop. "Here's your shot. Take it." Nathan waited. Matthew wasn't saying anything, but Nathan was sure he was studying it and doing calculations in his head. He stood there and kept his hand clasped over Matthew's knees.

Finally, Matthew took the shot. Nathan didn't get to see the shot go in. Matthew began laughing and kicking him wildly. He winced in pain. "Shit," he blurted out. He looked over and saw Linda and Haley laughing as well, more at him than anything else.

Haley picked up the ball and handed it up to Matthew.

"One!" Matthew exclaimed as he took the ball.

Nathan turned to Haley. "Do we have to do twenty-three of these?" He asked desperately. "Shit!" He exclaimed as Matthew began kicking again.

"Two!"

Nathan saw the ball rolling away from the court. That had to of been a difficult shot for him, but this kid was relentless and taken the shot without him realizing it.

As Haley handed Matthew back the ball, she looked sharply at Nathan. "Watch your mouth."

"Easy for you to say," Nathan muttered.

In the end, Nathan was a good sport. Linda came over a few times and tried to work with her son about the kicking. It really didn't help. All it did was irritate Matthew since she was interrupting him. So, Nathan endured Matthew's kicking, knowing it was his expression of excitement. It helped that Matthew was laughing as well. When the twenty-three shots were up, Nathan had enough. He set Matthew down.

Matthew grew angry. He ran over and picked the ball up and brought it back over to Nathan. Nathan looked to Linda for support. She quickly came over.

"Matthew, it's time to go."

"No!" Matthew yelled clasping his arms around the ball in his chest.

Haley walked over as well. She stood by Nathan, taking his hand. She could tell this was going to get worse.

"Matthew, it's time," Linda said sternly. "Nathan's going to come back to house, but it's time to leave here."

Matthew jumped up and down. "Twenty-three!"

Nathan bent down so he was eye-level with Matthew. "I heard that you've been reading up on me. I want to know what you remember. Can you tell me on the walk back?"

Matthew didn't take the bait. Instead, he began running in circles around Nathan, pushing Haley out of the way his first time around. Nathan slowly stood up and looked to Linda and Haley. He had no idea what to do.

Haley wasn't sure what to do either. Each autistic child was different, which was one of the things that was so frustrating. In this case, at least they knew what was upsetting Matthew; he didn't want to leave. That was normal for a child of his age, but his lack of consideration for others and his surroundings was not. There was no way they could rationalize with him to let him know that their visit had to end or that Nathan was tired and sore. It was something that needed to be taught to him, not just explained. He was still too young to fully grasp those concepts. When he started school in the fall, social cues would have to be part of his education.

Of the group, Linda seemed to be the one with the best handle on him. She leaned down next to where Matthew was running. "He needs to get some of this out of his system. Then, he'll get tired," she assured Haley and Nathan. "And his dad calls at two thirty."

After a minute, Matthew began to slow down, but just a little. Linda began gently prodding her son again. "Matthew…Matthew…We have to get home too. You have some things to show Nathan and we want to be home when daddy calls….Matthew….Matthew…"

The only thing that got Matthew to stop was the ball dropping from his hands. He stopped running and kept his eyes glued to the ball rolling off the court towards the street. Linda made a move to pick him up.

Like a lightning bolt, Matthew took off after the ball. Haley was the first to respond. She took off after him. Her speed picked up as she saw a car coming down the street.

Nathan and Linda cried out as they sprang into action. "Matthew!"

They were too far behind. Haley was the only one close enough to get him. She could see the car wasn't slowing down. The driver could not see the ball or little Matthew.

There was only one thing to do. It didn't even require any thought. Haley let the adrenaline take over as she took a hard leap toward Matthew. She pushed him out of the way, but fell down face first in the process. She took Matthew down with her, but at least he was out of the way. She wasn't. Luckily, the driver slammed on his breaks, stopping a just few inches from crushing Haley.

When Nathan and Linda reached Haley, they saw the left half of her body was under the car. Nathan flew down to her side, convinced she had been hit.

"Haley!, Haley!"

Haley couldn't quite get up yet, but she could point ahead….to the spot where Matthew should have been. "Matthew! I'm fine! He took off! You have to find him!"

Linda and Nathan began looking around as the driver got out of the car and tended to Haley.

"Matthew!"

"Matthew! Buddy!"

Nathan turned to Linda. "Does he know his way home?"

"I don't think so," Linda cried out. Her face was covered with tears and she had her fingers on her temples. She regained control of herself. "I'll go check." She pointed towards the house. "I'll go that way, you go that way!"

Nathan nodded. He looked at the driver. "Call the police."

Ten minutes later, Linda and Nathan met back at the basketball court. Neither one had any success. The police were just arriving. Haley was sitting on the bench next to the driver. She had dried blood along the bottom of the left side of her chin and scrapes on her left arm. She and the driver were looking at her left leg, which actually looked okay.

"Are you okay?" Nathan asked nervously.

Haley nodded. "I didn't get hit. It was just the fall." She stood up, slightly wincing as she put pressure on her ankle. She put her hand on Nathan's elbow for support. "You have to keep looking for him," she said quietly as she looked over at the police. "It's better if someone like you finds him than some cops that don't anything about him."

Just then, everyone looked to their left as they heard the screeching sound from a car slamming on their brakes a few streets over. Nathan, Linda and one of the cops began running towards the sound. They ran up and down the streets, but found no sign of the car. They split up, each taking a different street.

Nathan walked up and down the thickly settled residential street twice, once on each side. He eyed the main street ahead. With a pit in his stomach, he took a right onto the street. He could hear Linda and the cop yelling Matthew's name. He continued to call it out as well, keeping his eyes peeled for the blue shirt and pants and black sneakers he was wearing.

It was the colored buttons of the bracelet that made Nathan stop. They were sticking out from a telephone pole. A closer look revealed a set of fingers. Nathan's heart stopped. He bent down and looked around the telephone pole, scared to see what he would find. "Matthew?"

* * *

><p>Preview of next chapter: "Never Let Me Go" (Florence + the Machine)<p>

AN: I love the song for the next chapter! The whole album is great. I would love it if OTH would use this song for the Naley/Dan scenes in 9x10/9x11. It would be a perfect CODA! Seriously, for those of you into spoilers, give it a listen and let me know what you think. Or maybe you have other songs in mind for those scenes that will make s9 and lack of Naley worth it?

Life is crazy right now for me. It won't let up this week either. I haven't have time to write, although when I do, I'm writing lot. If I feel like I can't post the next chapter soon, I will offer up enough of the next chapter to ride out the cliffhanger. I would rather post it with the entire chapter, but I don't want to leave you hanging too long either. If it is driving you crazy, let me know and I will consider it.

Thanks for reading and reviewing. I have the next chapter of _Far Away_ ready, but I think I'm going to wait on that. I would rather get the next chapter of this one up for you (it's pretty long). Don't hold me to that. My mind is all over the place about which story to focus on!


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer #1**: Characters, minor plot points and dialogue belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and _One Tree Hill_ writers.

**Disclaimer #2**: Although my career is in the field of psychology, I have taken a lot of liberties with my story. My background is nothing like Haley's in this story. Her story only has _a little_ basis in reality. I know many people in that field who have given me inspiration for details here and there, but this situation is entirely fictional. Please don't take what you read as fact, especially when it comes to the research discussed and ethics of practicing psychology. As with all my stories, you have to use the suspension of disbelief, just as you do with our favorite tv show. The examples in this story are merely for plot purposes. If you do have questions or concerns about the psychological elements of the story, please feel free to pm. I'd love to discuss!

Thanks again to **Chat1** for help!

Chapter 13: "Never Let Me Go" (Florence + the Machine)

Matthew's arms were wrapped around the telephone pole as if his life depended on it. The Cracker Jack's bracelet was hanging off his thumb. His knuckles were white and his face was pressed into the pole.

Nathan tried moving Matthew's arm from the pole, but his grip was too tight. "Matthew…" He quickly changed his approach. "Buddy, this is Nathan. I need you to come with me. Everyone's worried about you." Matthew didn't respond. Nathan tried to imagine what was going through this little boy's head. "You're not in trouble, okay? But your mom,…she really needs to see you, Buddy."

Matthew pulled his head way from the pole. His face was covered in tears. He held up the bracelet to Nathan and began whispering. It was so quiet, Nathan couldn't make it out. He got his face as close as he could to Matthew's. When the boy looked into his eyes, he understood.

Nathan nodded looking at the bracelet. "Haley's okay. She's okay, Buddy." He ran his hand through Matthew's hair. "You hear that? She's back at the court. She really wants to see you, too."

Matthew threw himself at Nathan. Nathan picked the boy up and began walking back towards the court. The entire way, Matthew squeezed Nathan tightly; so tightly it made Nathan uncomfortable. It didn't matter. If this was what Matthew needed to do, Nathan let him do it. The important thing was that this nightmare was just about over.

Haley was standing with Linda when Nathan turned the corner. Matthew had his arms clasped around Nathan's neck and Nathan was gently patting his head, talking to him. While Linda gasped loudly and let out an emotional sob, Haley stood still taking in the sight. Her heart melted at the sight of Nathan with Matthew.

In that moment, she knew two things. First, _she was in love with him_. Secondly, _he would be a great father_. Unfortunately, those two conclusions created a conflict deep within her. She suppressed that conflict and let the relief surface. For now, she needed to be grateful. Matthew was okay. She was okay. She was more than okay. She was in love….and she wanted to embrace that feeling and let it take her as far as it could.

Matthew clung tightly to Nathan as his mother looked him over. Nathan motioned for Haley to come over. She hobbled over, trying not to put too much weight on her left foot. When she arrived, Nathan turned so Matthew could see her. He picked his head up.

"Give him your wrist," Nathan prompted her.

Haley put up her wrist. It was then she noticed her bracelet was gone. She saw Matthew was holding on to it. He must have someone taken it off her wrist or the ground. Matthew looked at her as he slid the bracelet on to her wrist. Once it was on, he put his head down on Nathan's shoulder and looked off into the distance repeating "twelve."

"He thought you were hurt. You gave him a scare," Nathan explained. "He's not the only one, either," he grumbled.

Haley and Linda both began crying. For Linda, she was overcome with emotion as relief set in that her son was safe. For Haley, she was touched at Matthew's gesture. It was the first time he touched her and made eye contact with her. In her experiences with children like that, she knew that they were often unable to express their affection. She knew that rationally, but it still hurt at times, especially when dealing with her nephew. She knew her sister felt the same and so did Linda. So, when Matthew did that, she knew for sure that he cared about her. She had made a connection with him. It wasn't as deep as Nathan's connection or the one he had with his parents, but it was a connection. It left her with a warm, incredible feeling. That single gesture made up for all the disconnected experiences she had with Matthew.

It gave her hope that her hypothesis was correct. It wasn't the _quantity_ of people around autistic children that played a vital role in their development. It was the _quality_ of the connections they did make those in their lives that made the difference. Autistic children needed kind, compassionate people who could connect with them on deep level and bond over things important to them. It was people like Nathan—yes, sometimes just one person, that could make the difference. It happened with her and her nephew; she just hadn't realized it until now. She had also made some type of a connection with Matthew. Maybe she did do that with other children as well. These were all exciting things for Haley to process. She couldn't wait to get back to her office to start writing about it.

* * *

><p>It wasn't until they were back in Linda's kitchen that Matthew finally let Nathan put him down. This upset Linda, since she wanted to be the one to hold and comfort her son, but her needs had to be secondary to her son's.<p>

Once he had his hands to himself, Nathan once again tended to Haley's wounds, as she stubbornly refused to go the hospital. She had too much work to do and wanted to give it a night to see how it would heal on its own. She promised to see a doctor the following day if her ankle was still bothering her. Nathan promised to hold her to that.

At two-thirty, Jared came home instead of calling. This pleased Matthew and changed his demeanor. Nathan got to meet him and the two guys immediately started chatting about basketball as Matthew stayed close by, hanging on their every word, occasionally chiming in with some coded number reference. Between the two guys, they seemed to be able to figure out what he meant. All of this supported Haley's hypothesis. It was too bad she was too wound up to take diligent notes. She had given up on that for the day. Later, once she was back at the office typing up her notes, she would try to get back into science mode. For now, she just wanted to decompress.

Jared looked over to his wife. "What's going on for dinner?"

"I don't know," Linda said exasperated. "Maybe takeout. I don't think I have it in me to cook anything. How about Chinese?"

Jared looked at Haley and Nathan. "You two want to join us?"

Haley and Nathan looked at each other. They were both ready to leave.

"I have to get back to work," Haley said.

"Other than Matthew running off, how did it go at the basketball court? Did you get anything from that?" Jared asked Haley.

Haley nodded. "It helps to see him different social situations. Nathan has helped with that. It's given me new perspective."

"He does well with his cousins," Linda noted. "They've know him all his life, so they understand him, as best they can. You should see him with them at some point."

"Hey," Jared jumped in. "What about my niece Anna's birthday party? Think you two would want to come to that? It's in a few weeks….on a Saturday. It's at my sisters. It'll be real low-key. Just a cookout and pool party."

Nathan looked at Haley to let her know this was her call.

"I think that would be nice." Haley hesitated, then added, "I'm not sure if Nathan can make it, but—"

"I can make it," Nathan said smiling at Haley. The smile said it all. He was still in this with her.

Haley's heart began to flutter. She was falling hard and fast and she wasn't sure it was possible to keep things moving slow much longer. It was Linda hand on her arm that snapped her attention back to reality.

"Haley,…you saved Matthew's life."

The two women embraced, but Haley didn't let Linda's words affect her. "No. The driver was going to stop."

Nathan stood up. "You don't know that," he said sternly.

Haley's eyes fell to his hands. They were slightly trembling. The stress of what happened was starting to set in. "We need to get going."

As they went to say their goodbyes, Matthew went and hid in his bedroom; that was nothing new. Haley knew he would be upset for a little while, but she hoped having his father home would help.

Once they made it out to the car, Haley waited for Nathan to open the door for her. Instead, he stood like a statue staring down at her. Haley couldn't take him looking at her like that. She put her arms around him, reaching up his back.

Nathan moved her hands down lower and put his hands on her shoulders. He leaned down and kissed the top of her forehead. He pulled away, keeping his hands on her shoulders as he looked at her squarely. "I almost lost you…_Again_."

Haley shook her head and rolled her eyes. "No, you didn't."

Nathan ignored her, his eyes beaming with seriousness. "Listen to me, Haley James….What's your middle name?"

"Bob," Haley said slightly embarrassed.

"What?" Nathan asked with confusion.

"It was after my parent's cat. My parents weren't exactly conventional."

Nathan chuckled softly, then turned serious again. He lifted her chin, looking disapprovingly at the cut that ran along the left side of her chin. He looked back up, staring deep into her eyes. "_Haley Bob James_, _I cannot lose you_. You understand?"

Haley had nothing to say. She weakly nodded.

Nathan followed up with a firm hug. When he let go, he opened up the car door for her. Once she was safely inside, he walked around to his side. He already regretted letting her go. He needed to feel her in his arms. As he got into the car, his thoughts turned to the night. Somehow, he needed to spend the night holding her. It was the only thing that would give him peace. Somehow, he needed to make that happen.

Once they were off, Haley turned to Nathan. "What's your middle name?"

"Royal; after my grandfather. I was supposed to be this big Scott progeny right from the start," he said sourly. He gave Haley a sideways glance. "Don't worry. The legacy ended there. I will not have a son with the middle name Daniel."

Haley thought this over for a minute. She needed clarification. "I thought you didn't want children…"

Nathan gave her a longer look. "I don't." He watched her carefully. That was the right answer, wasn't it? "That's why I won't have a son."

As silence fell over them, he turned his attention back to the road. Haley adamantly told him she didn't want kids, but he was starting to doubt that. She had strong maternal instincts; that was clear with her interactions with Matthew, including how she ran after him. He also knew how important her career was to her. He remembered her telling him she wanted to touch more lives than just one. He understood that. Still,…it would be a shame if someone like Haley didn't get the chance to be a mother.

* * *

><p>Nathan watched the clock impatiently. He knew Haley planned on working late, but he wasn't sure how late. It was nearing 7:00 p.m. and he hadn't heard from her. Even though she texted she would call when she was leaving work, he was getting ready to call her. To his relief, his phone began ringing. He answered it without looking at it.<p>

"Hello?"

"Hey, baby brother. How's it going?"

"Fuck," Nathan blurted out.

"Nice. Real nice, Nate. You blew me off last night and now you're swearing at me."

Nathan prepared himself for more of Lucas' wrath. He just knew that his brother was not going to approve of his relationship with Haley. Ever since the night they were supposed to meet at the Duke game and Nathan blew them off, Luke dropped the idea of setting them up.

Nathan was surprised he wanted them to meet in the first place. Lucas had built Haley up so much over the years that the prospect of meeting her was intimidating as hell. That was only part of the reason he stood her up. The other reason; that was something that Lucas would privately never let him live down. Sure, he never mentioned it, but it was always there…and Lucas was _always_ protective of Haley. Yeah, he knew that he blew it that night.

He didn't think he had a shot at winning over his brother's approval, especially in light of their present circumstances. Sure, Luke knew about the bank holdup, but he didn't think he knew that Haley was officially his therapist. At first, he assumed Haley told him; he was her best friend after all. After talking to Luke at length, Nathan came to the conclusion she hadn't…which was fine with him! It also confirmed what he suspected-that Lucas and Haley weren't as close as they once were.

"Nate, I know you're going through a rough time," Lucas continued. "I just want to make sure everything is okay. You're coming by on the 4th, right?"

Nathan was pleasantly surprised. Maybe he didn't know he was at Haley's last night. "Uh, yeah. I'll be by at some point. Definitely for the fireworks."

"Good. We'll take my new boat out…and you know, if you want to bring someone, that's cool," Lucas said nonchalantly.

"Nope. I'm good," Nathan answered quickly.

"Okay...I guess I'll let you go then."

"Okay. Thanks for calling, Luke."

"One more thing….I just saw this movie. It reminded me of Haley. I think you should see it. I know you probably run into her at the office and all."

Nathan braced himself. "Well, uh…I wouldn't say we run into each other." No, they had standing appointments.

"Then stop in and see her. You both went through a traumatic experience. It might help if you both talk about that."

"Yeah, maybe I'll do that. Hey, what movie were you thinking of? I was looking for something to watch tonight."

* * *

><p>Nathan was in the video store picking out a DVD when Haley finally called. It was just after 8:00 p.m.<p>

"Hey! How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine. Still a little sore, but nothing I can't handle."

"You done with work?"

"For tonight. I got a lot done; both with my notes for Matthew and for my dissertation."

"That's great. Are you home?"

"Just got in. I was thinking about dinner," Haley said slowly.

"Funny, so was I," Nathan grinned. He began to make his way to the checkout counter.

"What were you thinking?"

"Pizza and beer."

Haley laughed. "I'm with you on the pizza; not so much the beer. I could do pizza and wine though."

"Well, you know what they sell at the liquor store? Both beer and wine."

"Hmph. Imagine that."

"Side by side."

"What kind of pizza were you thinking about?"

"Any kind. I'm not picky," Nathan answered.

"I was thinking of pepperoni."

"A guy's who's not picky wouldn't mind that."

"Well, then…"

Nathan exited the video store and headed to his car. He liked the game they were playing, but needed to be sure. "You want me to come over, right?"

Haley laughed. "Yes….I'll take care of the pizza and you get yourself some beer. I still have the wine from last night."

"I just picked up a movie. I thought we could crash on your couch again."

"Is it a DVD? Because I don't have a DVD player." Normally, Haley didn't watch so many movies. She didn't have time….or maybe she just didn't have anyone to watch them with.

"I'll bring mine."

"Are you going to fall asleep on me again?" Haley asked playfully.

That was exactly what he was going to do. It was the one way he could ensure they would spend the night together again. "Do you want me to?"

"We'll see….Just remember, Nathan, because you fell asleep last night, we didn't get to wrap up our evening properly."

"Right," Nathan said with a sinking feeling. They didn't get to share a goodnight kiss. More kissing tonight would definitely lead to a makeout session; probably a heavy one….Maybe more. He had a tough decision to make. Purposely fall asleep and get to spend the night….or try to go a little further with Haley? He couldn't decide right then. For now, he was going to put the ball back in her court. "Well, it's up to you to keep me awake."

* * *

><p>Haley looked in her mirror and smiled with satisfaction. You couldn't even see that cut on her chin if she held her head at that angle. With her legs all banged up and sore ankle, she changed into a light, airy, printed skirt that reached the tip of her knees with a matching tank top. It was comfortable and pretty. She had just finished brushing her hair and applying her makeup. Her goal was to look nice, but casual. She was happy with her results.<p>

She floated into the living room when she heard a knock on her door. She opened the door and found Nathan with a DVD player hanging out under his arm with the cords dangling down. His hands were full with a brown paper bag, a plastic shopping bag and a six pack of beer. He was wearing a pair of jeans and a black pullover with a half-zip. He looked so sexy she became nervous. Instead of offering to help him, she walked away from the door, leaving him to let himself in and shut the door.

"Good timing," Haley said walking towards the kitchen. "Pizza just came a few minutes ago."

Nathan followed Haley into the kitchen. This time, instead of watching her ass, he kept his eyes focused on her ankle. He had a lot of experience with sports injuries over the years and knew what to look for. He had a feeling she was okay, but needed to rest it and not overextend herself. He still wanted her to get checked out by a doctor, but in the meantime he knew how to treat her ankle and came prepared.

Once in the kitchen, he saw plates and napkins set on the island counter in front of the stools. He put the DVD player, his bags and the beer down on the far end of the counter. He watched as Haley went over to the kitchen sink and washed her hands. He quietly walked up behind her, reached around her and added his hands to the water. "You look really nice."

Haley was speechless. She shivered when she felt Nathan's arms move alongside hers. When she was finished washing her hands, she was forced to remain still as he finished. When he did, he only moved back the slightest bit. She had just enough room to reach over and grab a hand towel to dry her hands. She slowly turned around and passed the towel to him.

Nathan dried his hands, put the towel down and kept Haley boxed in. She looked down and bit her lip suppressing a smile. He used his index finger and thumb to lift up the right side of her chin. He cocked his head and looked at the other side. She had a slightly scabbed over gash running on her left chin line. He arched his eyebrow and let a disapproving sigh.

"It's fine," Haley softly assured him.

Nathan slightly shook his head. He placed a gentle kiss on her right cheek. "I have to keep my eyes on you, Doc."

Haley was unaccustomed to this level of personal attention. She had no idea how to handle it.

Luckily, Nathan solved that problem as he left her and went over to his bags. He took a glass bottle out of the brown bag and held it up. "I took a risk and got you a little something. Peach Schnapps?"

Haley gave him pleased look. She needed a drink to loosen her up. "Oh! Sounds good."

Nathan placed the bottle by one of the plates, took out one of his bottles of beer and took a seat.

Haley opened up the box of pizza and served them both slices. She grabbed a glass and poured herself some of the Schnapps. She sat down on the stool and took a quick sip. "Mmmm."

"You like it?" Nathan asked watching her.

Haley nodded. She pushed her glass toward him. "You want a taste?"

"I sure do," Nathan smirked.

Haley turned to pick her up a slice of pizza. She was taken by surprise as Nathan launched himself towards her. As she turned to face him, his lips seized hers in a fierce kiss. Haley froze for a few seconds before she closed her eyes, relaxed and returned his kiss. The kisses grew deeper and deeper until their tongues brushed against each other's.

To Nathan's surprise, Haley pushed more into him as her tongue took charge. He was forced to pull away to take a breath. Man, she was good. He couldn't remember being kissed like that.

It took Haley a few seconds to regain her senses. It was so easy to get lost in him….and she was starting to enjoy that feeling.

"Yeah, that tasted good," Nathan snickered.

A soft blush fell over Haley's cheeks as she issued him a shy smile. She looked over his shoulder spotting a distraction. "Hey, what's in the bag?"

Nathan picked up his slice of pizza. "You'll have to wait to see. It's a surprise for later." He began eating his food.

Haley became oddly excited. She typically hated surprises, but Nathan was already stirring up so many new feelings in her. She took another drink and began eating her pizza.

Nathan figured Haley was being quiet because she was nervous. He was anxious to get her more comfortable, so he could experience more of that fire in her. "So, I like your place. It's pretty nice."

Haley looked at him like he was crazy. She could only imagine what kind of place he lived in. "Right. It serves its purpose, but I'm not sure I would call it nice."

Nathan was being genuine. It was very homey. "Really. I got a good night's sleep here last night. I haven't had that in a while."

"I saw you cleaned up." At some point before leaving that morning, he cleaned up the popcorn, left the bowl in the sink with the wine glasses. "Thanks."

Yeah, he only did that to impress her. He wasn't ready to for her to find out what a slob he was. "No problem. Thanks for letting me crash on your couch."

"What's your place like?" Haley asked curiously.

"I live in a house. I bought it six months ago. In some ways, I still don't feel like I've moved in. I still have boxes stored in one of the spare rooms." Nathan held back on its most impressive attribute. He wanted it to be a surprise. "Maybe you'd like to see it some time?"

"Maybe," Haley teased. "If I get invited…"

"You have a standing invitation," Nathan stated clearly.

"I bet you say that to all the girls," Haley tested him.

"No, I don't. I don't have girls to my house," he said seriously. "I told you that I haven't been with anyone….well, just that once…" he trailed off.

"I think it's better if we don't talk about things like that that came up in therapy. Let's just pretend I don't know about that part of your history. We should start fresh with that kind of stuff."

Nathan nodded. He wasn't sure if that would work, but he was willing to give it a shot. "Well, once my ex showed up at my place. We had a long history; on an off kind of a thing. I hadn't talked to her for over a year when she showed up. I let her in, but that was it."

Haley wasn't sure why he was stopping there. She knew there was more to the story. She couldn't help pressing him. "You haven't talk to her since then?"

"Yeah, I did," Nathan reluctantly admitted. "We met up for drinks shortly after that…I figured since she was in town…." He stopped trying to explain that. He had just been as horny as hell and desperate for attention and Rachel made it so easy for him. She knew exactly how to push his buttons ever since they bonded when they were stuck in the tutor center during the school shooting his senior year of high school. He often wondered how things might be different if that never happened. It was just one more thing he had his father to blame for. That day was traumatic enough with Jimmy Edwards' attack before his father took out his vengeance on his Uncle Keith. "So, we ended up spending a night together at her hotel."

"Oh, okay," Haley said uncomfortably. She tried to move on from Rachel and onto his other past experiences. This was after all, the proper time for them to have that talk about ex's. It would be painful and awkward, but it was necessary. "What about other serious relationships?"

"Not really. I was with her through my sophomore year of college…._Kind of_," he added vaguely. "Then after that, I messed around, but nothing serious." Nathan looked over at her. "What about you?"

He was dying to hear from her. He honestly didn't have a clue about her past. He only knew there had never been anything between his brother and her. He used to tease Luke mercilessly about it and each time it deeply upset Lucas to the point where Nathan was sure he wasn't hiding anything. Now, as he sat across from Haley, a sexy woman who made his insides churn with the simple act of biting on her lip, he didn't understand how his brother wasn't attracted to her.

Haley shrugged to indicate her past was meaningless. She began spouting of her history in a monotone voice as if reciting the Pledge of Allegiance. "I had a serious boyfriend in high school. I wouldn't sleep with him. He cheated on me. I had a serious boyfriend in college. I did sleep with him and he cheated on me. I had one other relationship. It didn't amount to much. I almost dated a guy in my Master's program, but we decided it would be too weird. Been on lots of first dates. That's it. Pretty boring."

Nathan kept quiet as he mulled over her words. He went through everything she said a couple of times. He put down his remaining slice of pizza, leaned slightly back and looked at her. She was chomping away on her pizza, unaffected. "So, you've only been with two guys?"

Haley looked at him puzzled. She had been with more than that. Hadn't he been listening? Then, she understood. He was referring to the number of guys she'd slept with. "You mean sex? No," she quickly corrected him. "I've only been with one; that asshole from my sophomore year of college. I wasted two years of my life on him!"

"One?" Nathan asked flabbergasted. "One?"

Haley looked at him unapologetically. "Yes," she said clearly. "And I'm not embarrassed by that. In fact, I wish I hadn't done that. I wish was still a virgin. I should have stayed that way until marriage!"

Nathan was stunned to silence. He didn't even know the number of girls he'd been with off the top of his head. He seriously hoped she didn't ask him that. He took a long drink from his beer and set his bottle down with a thud. It was her last statement that hit him. "Marriage? I thought you didn't want to get married."

Haley silently chided herself. She hadn't realized she said that. It had just come out. "I don't," she said indignantly. "It was just an expression."

"What does that mean?" He challenged her. "You're never going to have sex, then? Are you going to be like a nun?"

"No!" Haley said sharply. "I'm not a prude! I just…" She didn't know what say. "I am going to have sex again!" She blurted out. When a smile spread over Nathan's face, she knew she had to clarify. "We all have a sex drive. It's human nature. It's like hunger and thirst. Everyone needs to fulfill that—"

"I know what a sex drive is," Nathan interjected with a broad grin. "I have a strong one."

Haley was sure he wasn't lying about that. She tried to be clearer. "Not tonight, though! Not with you! Don't go getting any ideas! I am not having sex with you tonight, you understand?"

Nathan laughed. He went back to his pizza. "Relax; that's not why I'm here."

"Right," Haley said still pissed off, mostly at herself for how stupid she sounded.

"It's not. Don't get me wrong," Nathan said, his eyes sparking as one corner of his mouth curled up, "I want to have sex with you, but I'm a patient guy."

Haley wasn't won over by his charm this time. She was too worked up for that. "Do you mean that? I mean, just how patient are you?"

"I don't know," Nathan said honestly. "I've never really had to wait before….But I know I don't want to pressure you."

Haley was thankful for his honesty. She was also impressed that he stuck around after hearing what she had to say. In her experience, her minimal experience and strong convictions sometimes intimidated or turned off guys. In the end, that served her fine since she didn't want to waste her time on guys like that. Telling guys this early on became her way of testing them out. Nathan had passed that test….for now. She could sense that he wasn't crazy about the idea of waiting. How long could he hold out? Then again, how long could _she_ hold out? She was only human….and he was by far the most attractive guy she'd ever been around and not just because of his looks.

"I think I just want to be sure the next time I take that step that's it's worth it," she mused aloud. After what happened to her last time, she wasn't sure she it was possible to have that faith, especially since her own experiences were similar to her oldest sister's. Every time they trusted a guy, they were seriously let down.

"Me, too," Nathan added. For some reason, being around Haley made him want to get his act together. He wanted to give a mature, adult relationship a shot. What did he have to lose? Everything else he done didn't satisfy him anyway.

Haley was again surprised by Nathan. She could tell he meant it. "Good," she smiled.

Nathan reached over and briefly put his hand on her shoulder. "But we can do other things, right?" He asked hopefully.

"Uh…" Haley was unsure. She didn't want to get carried away and when she was with him, she found herself to be unpredictable. "A little….not much. Take it slow, remember?"

Nathan immediately sighed without realizing it. The chances of him spending the night were slim…Unless he "fell asleep."

"I…I thought that was okay," Haley said disappointedly. He seemed fine with that last night and he reiterated that tonight.

Nathan decided to come clean. He really wanted to enjoy the night with Haley and didn't want this weighing on him. Plus, she had been brutally honest with him. He owed it to her to do the same. "I kind of was hoping to spend the night; you know like we did last night."

Haley's heart began to beat faster. A mental image of the two of them on her couch flashed in her mind. He was so tall, he had to bend his knees lying down or else his feet hung over the sides. She chuckled. "Not on my couch; your back must be killing you!"

Nathan smiled. It was a little sore, but there was no way he was going to tell her that. "I don't mind the couch."

Haley tried to read him. "Are you serious?"

"Yeah…I was even thinking about pretending to fall asleep," he admitted.

Haley pursed her lips together and sighed. Was he for real? "I guess since you got a good night's sleep and I know how important that is to you…."

Nathan quickly saw this might backfire on him. He didn't want to end up on her couch by himself. He needed her to know the real reason he wanted to spend the night, no matter how soft it made him sound. "I want to hold you….After everything that's happened…I just really need to hold you tonight."

Haley nodded. She wanted the same thing. "We can sleep in my bed."

"You have no idea how good that sounds," Nathan said enthusiastically.

Haley pointed her finger at him. "No sex. You got that?"

Nathan put his hands up defensively. "It's off the table, promise."

* * *

><p>After finishing cleaning up from dinner, Haley went over to join Nathan in the living room. He was sitting on the couch and had his plastic shopping bag with him. He had yet to take the contents out. She stopped at the foot of the couch and eyed the bag. "What's in it?" She asked impatiently.<p>

Nathan patted the spot beside him. "Sit down."

Haley complied. She was barely seated when Nathan reached down, grabbed her legs and pulled them up over his lap. Haley had no choice but to turn so her back was resting on the end of the couch so her legs stretched out over him. "What's going on?"

Nathan took off her shoes and put them down on the floor. He took her right foot and began rubbing it. "I'm starting with a foot massage."

Haley's eyes lit up. She leaned back and let Nathan work his magic on her tender feet….and it was magic. His fingers rubbed the sole of her foot in just the right way. Once done with that, he moved up to her ankle and rubbed circles around that area. By the time he went back to the sole of her foot, she was in heaven…and her mind was wandering. She started to think of those hands and how they would feel touching other parts of her body. Like if it went further up her leg, just under her skirt—

Haley stopped that thought from going any further. As much as it killed her, she couldn't let him touch him any more than he was. She would lose her self-control if she let him do that.

Nathan continued to alternate between massaging her foot and ankle. "How's this feel?"

"Really good." Haley bit her lip. "I'm not used to all this attention."

"I bet," Nathan agreed. "You like to be independent, right? Take care of yourself?"

"I can take care of myself," Haley said testily.

"I'm sure you can." Nathan slowly switched feet.

Haley shot up as his fingers touch her left foot. Her hand reached out towards him. "Be gentle with that one!"

Nathan tried to be gentle. He moved his fingers up to her ankle and began touching some of her tendons.

"Oww! Oww! Stop!"

Nathan put her foot down. "You're taking real good care of this, huh?" He asked smugly.

Haley's initial response was sheer annoyance. As the soreness set in her foot, she knew he was right. Damn him! "I'll get it checked out tomorrow. I told you I would do that!"

"Can I feel around a little more? I actually think you're okay. You wouldn't be able to walk on it if you weren't….especially with those shoes."

Heels probably weren't the best idea, but he was just so tall! "Just be careful."

Nathan felt just above her ankle. "How this?"

"Fine."

He moved down further and further until she stopped him.

"There, there!" Haley said. It was the same spot he first touched.

Nathan reached and grabbed his shopping bag. He pulled out a package of an Ace bandage. "You need to wrap this," he said taking the bandage out. "And don't put too much pressure on it," he added sternly.

Haley was touched that he had taken the time to pick something like that up. "Can you put it on? I don't know how."

Nathan nodded and began wrapping the bandage around her foot.

"I bet you've had to do this before," Haley comment as she watched his ease with that duty.

"Yup. Luckily, I had good trainers and coaches. I listened to them, so I didn't make things worse." Nathan finished up, squeezed out from under her and stood up. "There. Now it stays up here for the night."

Haley rolled her eyes. "Where are you going?"

Nathan took the movie out of the bag and tossed it over to her. "Have you seen this? I'm going to get the DVD player." He walked to the kitchen and grabbed his DVD player.

Haley smiled broadly as she looked over the DVD cover. It was _A Beautiful Mind_. "Can you get me my phone? It's on the counter," Haley shouted out.

Nathan came back, handed her phone, and headed to her tv to hook up the DVD player. "Have you seen it?"

Haley began sending a text message. "No! Lucas insisted I needed to see it. He's been hounding me for years! I never wanted to because I know what's it's about and I don't like the message it sends. I know it's a true story, but from what I heard, they changed some things."

Haley no sooner finished speaking when Nathan felt the vibration of his phone in his pocket. He didn't need to look to know it was his brother. Luke had set him up pretty good…and he was the idiot who fell for it.

Haley was confused as she read over Lucas' return message. It read: _Tell Nate I said hi_. She looked up as Nathan finished up with the DVD player. He stood up and pulled out his cell phone.

"Did you tell Luke you were coming here?" Haley asked.

Nathan read over his text message from Lucas. _I'll kick your ass if you hurt her_. "Nope," He replied flatly turning his cell phone off. He lifted up Haley's legs and sat down underneath them. He ran one of his hands over her bare leg as he looked at her. Her skin was so soft and her eyes were the warmest shade of brown. Did his brother really think that lowly of him? That he would hurt her? It was looking more like it could go the other way around. He was getting in so deep that she could do some serious damage to him if she called things off….and she had good reason to. What they were doing was not good for her career.

"Lucas was the one who suggested the movie-earlier today," Nathan explained.

Haley cringed as she held up her phone. "I think I blew it. Did he text you too?"

"Yeah….What did he say to you?"

"To tell you 'hi."

Nathan looked away disappointedly. "Figures," he huffed.

"What did he say to you?"

Nathan was hesitant to tell her, but he gave her a rundown anyway. "He thinks I'm going to hurt you."

"Oh, he's being an ass," Haley said dismissively. She was used to Lucas being protective of her like that. She turned off her phone in a show of solidarity with Nathan. "Don't let him get to you." She watched as Nathan stared off into space as he ran his hand up and down her lower leg. She knew he was bothered and probably hurt. "Hey, Nathan?" She asked to get his attention.

"Yeah?" Nathan realized he had zoned out. "You ready for the movie?"

"Yeah, but how about another drink? Then maybe we could lie down?"

Nathan smiled wide. "Sounds great."

* * *

><p>Once the movie was over, Nathan and Haley shared a drink on the couch as they animatedly discussed the movie. Haley was desperate to prove something to Nathan that he just didn't to hear.<p>

"You even said yourself that it was a true story!" Nathan pointed out.

"I get that, Nathan, but it's not realistic. At best, it's a rare case and even with that—"

"That's the point, Haley! That's why it got made into a movie. It's a great story—"

"You didn't let me finish!" Haley said furiously. "The story isn't accurate. It leaves the viewers with a false impression. It makes you think that all you need is love and not medicine to overcome a serious problem like that!"

"He won the Nobel Prize," Nathan argued back. "I'd say he recovered!"

"I know the story of John Nash! Do you? Do you know the Nash Equilibrium Theory?" Haley didn't want for Nathan's response. Instead, she leaned towards him in a bout of intensity. "Well, I do! I also know his story, the real story and it was not love that helped him! He wasn't even with his wife—"

Nathan leaned forward and clasped his hand over Haley's mouth. "Do not ruin that movie for me. You understand? Let me walk away believing they shared an once-in-a-lifetime love that helped him be a better person."

Haley nodded. She was done trying to prove her point. She even felt bad. Her mother was always telling how cynical she was about the world. Her mother warned her about this, especially since most of this cynicism came from other people's experiences instead of her own. Her mother at least wanted her to have her own experiences to draw from. As Haley sat across from Nathan, she knew her mother would approve. As complicated as their situation was, and with all the things that had the potential to go wrong, she was bound to walk away from this thing with Nathan with changed attitudes about love. Whether it would cynical or romantic and naïve would remain to be seen.

Nathan pulled his hand away from her mouth satisfied. He was also incredibly turned on from their heated exchange. "I think it's time you took your weight off that foot."

"Oh, yeah?" Haley laughed. She knew where this was going. She let Nathan take her drink from her hand. After setting it on the table, he got up and put her feet up on the far end of the couch over a pillow.

Nathan took a final swig from his beer and looked at Haley spread over the couch with her head at one end and the feet at the other end. "Hmm. Where I am I going to go?"

Haley rubbed the small spot aside of her. "You think you could fit here?"

Nathan shook his head. "I might need to take some of your space."

"I'm okay with that," Haley flirted back.

Nathan moved onto the couch, partially on his side, facing Haley. He put as much of his weight as possible on the slim spot next to her and moved the rest of his body over her. At first, he hovered a little above her, and ran his hand along her face, cheek and hair, taking in her natural beauty. When he felt Haley's hand on his back, he leaned in and gave her a kiss. He was careful not to let it last too long, as if testing himself for what was to come. They were going to kiss more. They were going to makeout, maybe heavily. She might him touch her a little. She might touch him. But it had to end there if he was going to spend the night. His ultimate goal was still falling asleep holding her in his arms and he didn't want anything screwing that up.

Haley could see that Nathan as deep in thought, maybe too deep. She didn't want either of them to do so much thinking. She wanted to shut off all the racing thoughts in her head and just feel. She decided it was time for her to open up to him in hopes it would create the type of atmosphere she was craving. "Nathan? Can I tell you something?"

Nathan got settled and rested his chin by her shoulder. "Like what?"

"Remember when John Nash was looking for his 'original idea'?"

Nathan shifted up a little. "Is this about the movie?"

"No, not really. I'm just making a connection." She pushed him back down. "Relax."

Nathan snuggled into her. His weight was on the right half of his body, but he moved his left hand to Haley's side, just above her skirt. Haley intertwined her arm though his. She reached under his pullover and put her hand directly at his back and began rubbing it. She wrapped her other hand around his shoulder. This wasn't what he intended—her holding him—but it was just as nice. It also had to be that way with her sore ankle until they went bed.

"Well, I recently had an idea of my own, with my work. It's pretty simple; nothing groundbreaking but it's going to help me get my Ph.D."

"Really? That's great!" Very relaxed, Nathan kept his head rested by Haley's shoulder as he listened to her.

"You helped me," Haley confessed. "It's all…kind of….about you."

Nathan's head perked up a little. "No," he said in disbelief.

"Yes. When I saw you with Matthew—it became so clear to me. You see, at first I thought the more people that autistic children where around, the better it was for them. I thought that because my nephew, Michael, was an only child, but he started doing so much better when he went into an early intervention program at school."

"Is he like Matthew?"

"No. He has Asperger's; that's considered 'high functioning.' His speech improved as soon as he started school. He started communicating without a problem. His language skills were just delayed. Now, he has social issues. He doesn't understand social cues and has trouble forming new relationships. He didn't have tantrums as severe as Matthew. He…He never ran out into street like that," she softly finished.

"That was scary." Nathan squeezed Haley tightly.

"Anyway," Haley said anxious to get to her point, "Matthew is on the other end of the spectrum. He's more noncommunicative than Michael ever was and his need for routine and structure is intense….But he's shown progress recently."

Nathan was starting to see how he fit in. "You mean with me?"

"Yes. You have a connection with him. I'm starting to see it's the connection a person has with an autistic child-maybe even an autistic adult- that makes the different. They could be in a room full of people, but it's not going to do a thing if they don't feel that need to interact with them."

"It was you that made the difference with you nephew, wasn't it?" Nathan asked.

Haley smiled. It was sweet that he picked up on that. "I think so. We're pretty close. He hates to talk on the phone, so we've lost some of that, but once we're back together, we always seem to pick right back up."

"You know, Hales, it wasn't me Matthew was interested in. It was basketball."

"Maybe at first, but in the end, it's you. It doesn't matter though. I have a hypothesis and I'm working on my experimental design. Next, I'll start gathering data. I could have this whole thing written in six months!"

"Then what?"

"It goes through editing, revisions. Then, I have to defend it by a panel of experts. If all goes well, it will get published. Then, as long as I have my hours, I get my Ph.D.!"

"Then I can call you Dr. James?" Nathan teased her.

Haley chuckled. "We'll see. Doc is kind of growing on me. Besides, I have you to thank for inspiring me….I suppose you should get certain privileges to call me what you want."

Feeling the sexual tension between them, Nathan pushed over her. He moved his left hand down to her leg and let his lips hover just above hers. "You'll always be 'Doc' to me."

Desperate to feel those lips on hers, Haley moved her hand to the back of his head and pulled him towards her. Lust filled her body as their lips met. As they kissed vigorously, their passion intensified. Nathan's tongue slid into her mouth and glided against hers. She could taste his last sip of beer, smell his aftershave and feel his prickly skin against hers. This combination just reminded her what an amazing _man_ he was; so different from anyone else she had been with. Her pelvis shifted toward him as her hand moved further up his back. Nathan's hand continued to move up her skirt, gently caressing her leg.

When his hand reached her panties, Haley eyes flew open. When his fingers snapped the side of her panties, it snapped her back to reality. She moved her hand over his and pushed it back down.

Nathan lifted up and looked at Haley. By now, his heart was racing and he was breathing heavily. "Sorry. That's too much."

Haley couldn't speak. She just nodded.

Nathan pushed his head next to Haley's into the pillow in an effort to calm himself down. This was going to be much harder than he thought.

* * *

><p>Nathan splashed some cold water on his face. He looked at his reflection in the mirror. This was it. A decision needed to be made. He could take the easy way out. He could leave Haley lying out there on the couch and just leave. That way, he wouldn't have to face her. She would see him for the selfish jerk he was and write him off for good. Or he could go out there. They would have to have a talk. He hated having those talks with girls. They always ended with the girl upset as she pressed him to define their relationship, his feelings for her and what their future looked like. He did not want that conversation with Haley and leave her disappointed.<p>

Nathan really didn't want to do either thing. He was tired, yet still wound up. What he really needed to do if he was going to salvage anything he had with Haley was give it time….maybe a good night's sleep.

It became clear what he should do. It would be odd. It would leave Haley confused, but not as confused as the other two options.

Nathan opened the door of the bathroom and walked across the hall to Haley's bedroom. It was a small room, with just a bureau, nightstand and full size bed. It had yellow curtains, a painting of the beach at sunset, and a pressboard with family snapshots. As much as he wanted to look at them, her bed was calling out to her. He pulled back her flowery bedspread, stripped down to his boxers and got into bed. He turned on his stomach and put his arms under the pillow. He felt something underneath it. He pulled it out and laughed. It was his black hoodie sweatshirt. He forgot he left it there! Even more funny was that Haley had hid it on him. He threw it on the ground with the rest of his clothes. In his heart, Nathan knew he made the right decision. He lied back down, closed his eyes and fell fast asleep.

* * *

><p>Haley heard Nathan leave the bathroom. She waited for him to come back out, but soon figured he must have went to her bedroom. Well, at least he didn't leave. Haley used the bathroom and went into her bedroom.<p>

Nathan was lying on his stomach, his hands under the pillow and lightly snoring. She quietly dug out her pajamas and went into the bathroom to get ready for bed. When she was finished, she turned off all the lights in her place and went to her bedroom.

She crawled into her bed, struck at how much room Nathan took up. She knew her bed was small and hadn't shared this bed with anyone before, but still. It didn't help that Nathan had shifted over a little, to the middle of the bed. Figuring it was a sign that he wasn't completely asleep yet, Haley decided to wake him. She curled up close to him, put her hand on his bare back and rubbed it as she laid a kiss on his shoulder. He moved a little but didn't stir.

She began whispering by his ear. "Nathan….Nathan….Wake up a little."

"Hmmm?" Nathan asked groggily but not moving.

Haley began pushing at his shoulder. "You're supposed to hold me, remember?"

Nathan knew Haley said something, but he didn't know what. He only knew she wasn't upset with him and that was all that mattered. Now that he knew she was there, everything made sense. He rolled back and held his arms open for Haley.

Not wanting to tempt matters further, Haley figured it was best if they slept similar to how they had on the couch. She turned around so her back was to him. Nathan pushed forward and wrapped his arms around her.

Haley clasped her hands over his. Filled with peace, she closed her eyes, preparing to fall asleep.

Nathan's voice was barely above a whisper. It was just loud enough so Haley could make out his words. "What are you doing to me, Haley James?"

Haley squeezed his hand. Those simple words clarified any questions lingering in her mind about the state of their relationship. "The same thing you're doing to me," she replied.

Nathan kissed the back of her neck and then nuzzled his face against it. He felt Haley's entire body shudder. His hands move to tip of her soft pajama pants. Instead of dipping them below, he moved them up and firmly took hold of her stomach. It was his way of letting her know he had regained self-control. This would be it for the night.

Minutes later, they both feel asleep.

* * *

><p><em>Haley felt a queasy feeling in her stomach. It always started with that. When it hit her, she knew to look up towards the flashing lights. She waited. There was a loud crackle of thunder. Next, came the lightening. The lightening illuminated the scene above. She saw his face, with details not possible to see clearly from her position, yet they were as clear as the last time she saw him. She could see his sandy gray hair, the crease of lines across his forehead, his blue eyes and the serious look on his face. It was as if he was looking right through her. That was nothing new, but there was something different this time. <em>

_He was not alone. Across from him was another familiar face. This face was much younger, with a head full of dark hair. This face had a different reaction when his blue eyes met hers. He saw her! She was sure of it! As he leaned in closer, Haley tried to fight her way to the surface. Just as she started to move, it was as if someone grabbed each of her legs and began pulling her deeper underwater. This was all wrong. Things were happening out of order. Haley began to panic. She tried kicking, but her attempts were futile. Suddenly, she realized she couldn't breathe. She held her breath. The sound of thunder continued to sound from above, but the light from above was fading as she sank down towards the ocean floor. _

_Haley tried to kick again as she reached out above her head. To her surprise, the weights from her legs had lifted. She kicked furiously and pushed up with her arms. Before she knew it, she was above water. She didn't have any time to take in her surroundings as waves crashed over her head, temporarily putting her back under water. She fought again and took in a breath of air as her head popped back up above water. She spat out a mouth full of water and took in as much air as she could. More waves came and jostled her back and forth. Haley tried to keep fighting, but exhaustion soon set in. Her arms began to give out. A violent wave came and took her deep under. Her arms were done for, but she kept kicking her feet. She wasn't giving up._

_His arms came from behind. They moved under her arms and forcefully gripped her shoulders. They carry her up to the surface. They both gasped as their heads broke through the rushing water. She could feel his body heaving up and down behind her as he struggled to breathe and not get swept away. Through it all, his grip on her remained strong. She never once doubted she was safe. Finally, the seas began to calm. Just like that, the storm vanished and they were floating along, a thousand miles out to sea, but amidst the beauty and tranquility of the ocean and the warmth of the sun. _

_Haley let her body fall against his. She let him cradle her in his arms. She wasn't giving up; she was giving in._

Haley opened her eyes. Somewhere during the course of the night, they had switched positions. She had found a new place to rest her head; a much sweeter place. She and Nathan were now facing each other and her face was on his bare chest. Just like in the dream, his arms were wrapped tightly around her. Unable to control the flurry of emotions inside of her, Haley let out a soft sob.

Nathan rubbed Haley's back. "Haley?"

Haley picked up her head. His eyes were still closed, but his hand was moving. "It was different this time. I didn't drown. You were there. You saved me."

Nathan kept his eyes closed as he kissed the top of Haley's head. She was talking nonsensically, probably talking in her sleep.

"Nathan, did you hear me? You wouldn't let me go…"

"Of course," Nathan mumbled. "I would never let you go."

Haley settled back into his chest. It was over. Her nightmares were over.

Nathan started to wake up. He thought about what Haley said. "Hales, did you have a nightmare?"

Haley kept her head planted firmly on Nathan's chest. "No. It wasn't a nightmare. At first I thought it was, but it wasn't."

It still didn't make sense to Nathan and now he was awake. He pressed his eyes closed as flashes flooded him. "I had a nightmare," he mumbled resignedly.

Haley stole a peek at him. His body had tensed up, and his brows were tightly-knitted but his eyes were closed. She wasn't sure what that meant. "What happened?"

"We had sex; it just kind of happened." Nathan paused and slid his hands down to feel his boxer briefs. Yes, they were still there. Good.

Now Haley understood why he didn't want to look at her. She decided to have a little fun with this. "Having sex with me was a nightmare? Gee, thanks, Nathan. Way to make a girl feel special!"

Nathan's eyes flew open. "No, that's not what I meant! It was a nightmare because I didn't mean for it to happen….and it was so fast….and…" How else could he explain it? He let the words dreadfully fall out of his mouth. "And…I was bad. I was so bad. I did not show you what I could do! I mean, you didn't even get—"

Haley's hand flew up and covered his mouth. "Stop. Stop it. That did not happen, okay? What you are saying did not happen. You understand?"

Nathan nodded.

Haley took her hand back. She draped it over him and let it rest on his side. "It was just a bad dream. Now, let it go and let's go back to sleep."

After once again becoming comfortable in each other's arms, they settled into silence.

Nathan knew he couldn't get back to sleep yet. "Haley?"

Haley understood perfectly what was going on with him. Him and that damn ego of his. Funny how something like that was his worst nightmare! "Nathan, our first time _making love_ will be special….When we're ready….It'll be perfect…I'm sure of it."

Her soothing words gave him the calmness he was searching for. "Yeah, it will be. I'll make sure of it."

They both closed their eyes and fell fast sleep. A short while later, the clarity of morning awaited them, where they would have to face all the emotions stirred up the night before.

* * *

><p>Preview of next chapter: "Human" (The Killers)<p>

AN: Sorry it took so long to post this chapter. As I expected, it was an intense week at work, accompanied by some migraines which kept me from my computer. I hope to shake them off this weekend, which is a holiday weekend where I live.

I have to admit with the final episodes of OTH approaching, I am wondering if interest for OTH fanfics will die off. From what I understand, they have already dramatically tapered off. I got into the show late and only learned what a fanfic was a year ago, so I'm pretty clueless. Any thoughts on that? Will your interest wane?

If you want to discuss the new season too, pm me! I have lots to say!

Thanks for all the reviews and support for this story!


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer #1**: Characters, minor plot points and dialogue belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and _One Tree Hill_ writers.

**Disclaimer #2**: Although my career is in the field of psychology, I have taken a lot of liberties with my story. My background is nothing like Haley's in this story. Her story only has _a little_ basis in reality. I know many people in that field who have given me inspiration for details here and there, but this situation is entirely fictional. Please don't take what you read as fact, especially when it comes to the research discussed and ethics of practicing psychology. As with all my stories, you have to use the suspension of disbelief, just as you do with our favorite tv show. The examples in this story are merely for plot purposes. If you do have questions or concerns about the psychological elements of the story, please feel free to pm. I'd love to discuss!

Chapter 14: "Human" (The Killers)

Haley again woke up before her alarm clock sounded. This time, Nathan woke with her. As she tried to sneak out of bed, he pulled her back into his arms and secured her in a tight grip.

"Where do you think you're going?"

"To work," Haley said trying to wiggle her way out his arms. "Nathan! I have to get ready!"

"I'm not ready to give you up."

"But you have to. You can stick around. Just go back to sleep."

"Don't worry. I fully intend on doing that," Nathan yawned. "Just give me a kiss."

"You have to let me go first!"

Nathan released her and she quickly moved to his side. She gave him a peck on the cheek and sprinted out of bed. She grabbed her bathrobe and headed into the bathroom.

"Hey! That's not what I meant!" Nathan called out after her.

When he heard the shower running, he let his heavy eyelids shut. He only meant to rest his eyes, but when he forced them back open, Haley was standing in front of her dresser mirror brushing her hair. She was already dressed for work in a brown skirt and blousy button down shirt. How the hell had he missed that? It meant he missed her exit from the bathroom and he sure hadn't meant to do that. He sat up straight and rubbed his eyes, so he wouldn't fall back asleep before she left.

Haley could see from his reflection in the mirror he was up. "Oh, good. I was hoping you could wrap my ankle again. And, you'll be happy to know I made an appointment for later this morning."

"You did?"

"Yup!" Haley said proudly. "I have two back-to-back therapy appointments, then I'll head out to that. I just hope it doesn't take long. I have a lot of work to do before the long weekend."

"They'll do an x-ray, but I doubt they'll find anything. Where's the bandage?" Nathan asked.

"I'll go get it." Haley left the bedroom and returned with the bandage. She handed it to Nathan and walked around to the other side of the bed. She hopped up and stretched her legs out over Nathan's lap.

Nathan took a minute to squeeze some of her tendons. He watched her carefully.

Haley only winced a little. "It's not a bad as last night."

"See!" Nathan said with satisfaction. He began tenderly wrapping her foot. "It'll be fine. Just don't over do it."

"Maybe I don't even need to—"

Nathan stopped his work and gave her a stern look.

Haley knew he was right. She quickly changed the subject. "I had an extra toothbrush, so I left it out for you."

"Thanks. Now all I need is some deodorant…..And maybe a razor and some shaving cream. Add aftershave to the list."

"I don't have time to get you that," Haley said nervously. "You'll have to wait until you get home."

Nathan snickered. "I didn't mean now. I meant the next time you're out you can pick some up for me." He felt the scruff on his face. "Unless you like this?"

Haley couldn't tell if he was being serious. "Can you just get it yourself? I don't even know what you use."

"I'm not picky." Nathan finished wrapping her ankle and smiled brightly at her. "And chances are, you'll be out at a store before me."

Haley still didn't know want to make of him. She pushed herself onto this lap, letting her legs hang off the side of the bed. She put her hands squarely on his shoulders and shook her head as she looked into his eyes. "I don't think so. You're on your own."

Nathan put his hand to the side of her head and gave her his sexiest look. "Maybe I can persuade you." He followed up with a gentle, slow kiss.

Haley was left wanting more. She leaned in and kissed him long and deep. When she felt his tongue along her lips, she used every ounce of self-control in her to pull away and get off the bed.

"Hey! You can't leave me like that!"

Haley ignored him and went over to her mirror and began applying some makeup.

"Fine. I'll just go back to sleep and dream about you." He watched as Haley put the finishing touches on her makeup. "Yeah, I think I will dream about how I missed you coming out of the shower in that towel."

Haley rolled her eyes. "I had my bathrobe on this time. The towel was wrapped around the hair on my head."

"Well in my dream, it will be around your waist. For a minute anyway. Then it will drop to the ground."

Haley turned around. By now, she was used to seeing that smirk. "That's right, Nathan. Only in your dreams."

Nathan just loved messing with her like that. Just like the first time they met, the sexual tension between them was off the charts, except now he was lying in her bed. It gave him even more incentive to keep going. "What will it take to see you naked?"

"Get me drunk," Haley replied. "And even then, you won't get to touch."

Nathan shrugged. "My dream will be better than that."

Haley beamed at him. She headed to her door and turned around and beamed again.

Nathan grew a little nervous. "What?"

"Your dream….it will only last five minutes long. That should be enough time for you." With that, Haley rushed out of the bedroom.

Nathan's mouth hung open in shock. He understood exactly what she meant; her play off his "nightmare." She had hit him right where it hurt. When he finally recovered, he could tell she was just about to leave.

He shouted out as loud as he could. "I'll get you for that, Doc. Tonight, you are getting drunk!"

"Yeah, yeah. Sweet dreams. Talk to you later." Haley left her apartment and headed out to her car. The entire walk, she could not suppress the smile spread across her face.

* * *

><p>When Haley came back from the doctor's visit, Nina greeted her with a jubilant smile.<p>

"What's going on?" Haley asked nervously.

Nina stood up and placed an overflowing vase of red roses on the counter. "These are for you!"

Haley looked incredulously at the arrangement. "Really? For me?"

"Yup! Do you know who they're from?"

Haley picked up the card. She decided against opening it in front of Nina. "It's probably just some friend who knows I about what happened yesterday."

"How did you make out at the doctor's?"

"Great. The doctor just had me pick up an ankle wrap at the story. It's like a sock. I'm going to put it on now."

"Does it hurt?" Nina asked with concern.

"No, but I may need to stop taking the stairs."

"You're afraid of the elevator? You know they fixed it, right?"

Haley shrugged. "It's because of the bank. I can do it; I would just rather use the stairs."

"He uses the stairs too, you know," Nina said softly.

"Who?" Haley asked.

"Nathan Scott. He used them last time he came in." Nina looked at the flowers and back at Haley. "Haley, these aren't from him again are they?"

Haley picked up the vase. "Well, that wouldn't make any sense. I still have the other ones in my office."

Haley took a few steps down the hall, but quickly retraced her steps. She really liked Nina and although she meant well, Nina did have a big mouth. She was the one that told Dr. Rimkus about the flowers Nathan brought her just a few days ago. "I had a date last night. I bet they're from him."

"A date? I need details!"

"It's new, Nina. I don't want to jinx anything. I'll let you know when the time is right."

As Haley walked away, she heard Nina calling disappointedly after her.

Once inside her office, Haley put the flowers down on her desk. She moved her other set over the end table by the windows and couch. She went back and picked up the card. She had no doubt it was from Nathan. After getting out from the doctor's, she had texted him about her good news. His return text said now that he knew she was okay, he was going to work on getting her back for the way she had left him. This had to be it.

Haley pulled the card out of the envelope. It read: _I took back my sweatshirt that you were holding hostage. Hope this was a fair ransom. I tried my lucky number this time._

Haley held the card to her chest. It was perfect. He didn't sign his name, but he didn't need to. By now, they had their own private jokes and he knew just want to say to make her smile, while teasing her at the same time. It was just perfect.

Haley proudly displayed the vase in the center of her desk. She happily counted each of the roses. Yup, twenty-three!

After putting on her foot wrap, Haley sat down at her desk and pulled up her email. There was an email from Dr. Greene. She had read only a few sentences when there was a knock at her door, followed by Dr. Rimkus coming in. Haley tensed up.

"Hey, Ms. James. I came to check on you and see how you're doing."

Haley was dumfounded as Dr. Rimkus took a seat down in the chair in front of her desk and gave her a warm smile. This was out of character for her. "Um, I'm fine. My ankle is sore, but it's okay."

"What about you? I read over your notes. It sounds like you had another intense experience at Matthew's."

Haley became defensive. She could only assume that in some way Dr. Rimkus was going to try and take her away from Matthew. "It was okay. I'm used to the kinds of tantrums autistic children can have.—"

"Relax, Ms. James. I was just concerned for your well-being. It's clear this is where your passion is. I've also read over your initial experimental design. I connected with it."

Haley was genuinely surprised and flattered. She tried to figure out if Dr. Rimkus was working another angle. "How?"

"Well, I respect the idea that there's just something about a person, their human characteristics-something indefinable or immeasurable-that can be the dependent variable upon which your entire experiment hinges upon. It's so subjective, but we know it's right even if we can't scientifically prove it."

Now, Haley knew there was something going on, but she had a hunch it wasn't about her work. It had to be about the trouble Dr. Rimkus was having with her own research. Haley hesitated, but she knew she had to speak up to clarify her dissertation work. She wanted to make a clear distinction between her work and Dr. Rimkus', as delicately as possible, so she wouldn't end up being Dr. Rimkus' puppet with this too. "My hypothesis is provable, so I'm focusing on collecting data. I have measurable criteria that I want everyone in the study to use. They'll determine if there are changes in behavior depending on who the children are with. So my experiment is only based on the children themselves, not the —"

"I read over what you have, Haley," Dr. Rimkus said with a hint of irritation, "and I spoke with Dr. Greene."

Haley held her breath. She tried to look back over at her computer to finish reading the email, but didn't want to further upset Dr. Rimkus. "And?"

"I gave her some suggestions." Dr. Rimkus stood up. "Honestly, Haley, what did you think? I'm here to support you and I think you and I share some similar issues with the basis of our research. I don't want you to fall into some of the same pitfalls I am."

Haley relaxed a little until she saw Dr. Rimkus looking at the roses.

"These are beautiful," Dr. Rimkus said as she bent over to smell them. "Nina said you had a date last night. It's good that you have other things going on beside your work."

Haley stared at Dr. Rimkus, unsure of what to say.

"Really, Haley!" Dr. Rimkus said shaking her head. "I know they're not from Mr. Scott. You're not that stupid." She looked over to second set of flowers over by the window. "And he already gave you those. No guy would send back to back sets like that!" She looked back at the set on Haley's desk. "But this guy—he must really like you. It looks like there are two dozen here!"

Haley nodded but didn't smile. At this point, she wanted this uncomfortable situation to be over with so she could read that email.

"Okay, well, have a nice long weekend," Dr. Rimkus said.

"You too. By the way, do you know if the office is open on Monday?"

"The fourth of July? No. Haley, take the day off. Spend it with your new man."

Dr. Rimkus left and Haley anxiously read the email. She was relieved to learn that Dr. Rimkus was telling the truth. Dr. Greene confirmed her supervisor's praise and offered her own.

It was the second part of the email that changed Haley's spirits. In that part, Dr. Greene asked for Haley to finalize her experimental design and have a data tracking sheet done by Tuesday. She recommended getting it to her earlier if she wanted feedback. With Haley's mom and sister coming in, Haley knew this was going to be a challenge. She was just going to have to send them away for a day so she could get this done….maybe two depending on how much she got done today.

Haley pulled out all her files and prepared to focus. After a few minutes, she found herself staring at the roses. Yeah, she was only human. She got up and moved the roses to the shelves behind her desk. She sat back down, took a deep breath and tried her best to get "in the zone."

* * *

><p>Nathan finished loading the clothes from the washing machine to the dryer and finally took the time to look at his phone. Just as he thought, there was a text message from Lucas suggested they needed to talk "ASAP."<p>

He was in the process of deleting that text when Clay called.

"Hey. What's up?" Nathan asked.

"Just calling to make sure you're all set for today."

Nathan racked his brain. It was Friday….July 1st. "Shit!"

"Nate, tell me you didn't forget about appointment with the team doctors?"

Nathan put his hand on his forehead. "No," he lied. He looked at the clock. "I was just about to leave."

"Good. Traffic is bad, so give yourself plenty of time. Listen, just like when you went out for the D-Fenders, they're going to put you through the wringer. They want to be sure you're physically fit. What's your running time like?"

Nathan scratched his head. He couldn't lie about this to Clay. He was going to find out anyway. "I haven't being running this week."

"Why the hell—"

"I've been lifting though….and I'm well rested. I'll be fine."

"Dammit, Nate! You've got to focus! I didn't think I needed to be on your ass about working out! From now on, I want you on a schedule; a strict routine—"

"Clay, I have to go. I'll call you from the road if you want."

"Yeah, you need to," Clay huffed out.

Nathan sensed something in Clay's tone. "Is everything okay?"

"I heard some rumblings," Clay confessed.

"Like what?"

"The Lakers invited some hotshot from Michigan State to the tryouts."

"Fuck. Let me guess—Nino Jones?" Nathan knew they guy from watching college basketball. He also knew his position; shooting guard—the same as Nathan's.

"That's the one. So, Nate—"

"That is all I needed to hear, Clay. This will motivate me."

"Still….Call me back when you're on the road, huh?"

"Yeah."

As Nathan hung up the phone, he knew Clay was still worried about him. He couldn't blame him. With all of his issues, focus had never been one of them. But it was a crazy week. His world had been turned upside down the second Haley opened up the door to her apartment and let him in. There was no way he was going to tell Clay that. He definitely had to get back "in the zone."

* * *

><p>Haley sat alone at the bar with her purse station on the seat next to her. She hadn't heard back from Nathan and had no idea if he was coming. She promised herself one text message once she arrived was enough. She didn't to be <em>that girl<em> who pushed a guy away with her neediness.

A half hour later, Haley began to give up hope he was coming. Of course, it was right about that time Damien popped up beside her trying to take the seat she was saving. As he leaned in close to her, a stench of alcohol and cigarettes invaded her breathing air. She quickly put her head down and began coughing.

"Hey, Haley. I see this seat has been empty for a while now. It's about time you open it up."

Haley picked her head back up firmly. "Get lost."

Damien dramatically looked around the bar. "Where is he, huh? Did he stand you up? Nice boyfriend you got there!"

Haley lips pressed together and curled up as she spotted Nathan coming in the front door. Now this was perfect timing! "You know that's interesting for you to say, Damien, because it seems that you have a problem keeping a girl by your side for more than five minutes. I bet you wouldn't know what it's like to even have a girlfriend!"

Damien's eyes filled with fury. "I have plenty of-you know what? I don't have to explain myself to you. You're the one who's in denial. What is your asshole boyfriend's name anyway? So I know what name I have to burn from your memory," he said with a suggestive smirk.

Nathan crept up behind Damien and leaned over and whispered loudly in his ear. "The name's Nathan."

Haley watched as Damien stayed still. The look in his eyes changed from angry to scared, then back to angry again. Haley felt a pit forming in her stomach. This had the potential to end very badly. What was she thinking egging on Damien like that with Nathan's short fuse?

Nathan forced his way in between Damien and Haley. He leaned down and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "Hey, baby. Sorry I got here so late." He cleared his throat and purposely raised his voice. "I got stuck in traffic on my way back from the team doctors; You know, the one's for the Lakers? They gave me a clean bill of health for tryouts."

Damien scoffed from behind him. "Yeah, right."

From behind the bar, Owen made his way towards Haley and Nathan. He pointed at Nathan and grinned. "That's where I know you! You're Nathan Scott; the shooting guard for the D-Fenders! I've seen you play!"

"Guilty," Nathan smiled.

"What can I get you, man?"

"Uh, how about a Jameson?" Nathan looked at the purse on the seat next to Haley. "Boy I hope this seat is for me."

Haley quickly grabbed her purse. "Of course it is," she said smiling sweetly.

Nathan looked down at her foot. "So,…show me."

Haley held up her left foot. "See? No big deal. Doesn't even bother me!" She said proclaimed.

Nathan could see still the bruises outlining the scrapes. Then there was that scrape that scabbed over under her chin. "I'm still keeping my eye on you, Doc."

Owen reappeared and put Nathan's drink in front of him. "On the house. So, are you really going out for the pro's?"

"Looks like it," Nathan confirmed. "I need to start getting back in shape, too."

"I don't know," Owen disagreed. "You looked good last season. My buddy, Chase and I didn't know why they didn't pull you up."

"Well, I got my shot now." Nathan grew anxious to change the subject. He looked at Haley's nearly finished drink. "You need something, Hales?"

Haley fiddled with the small red straw in her glass. "Uh, well…Yeah. I just need to decide what I want."

Nathan leaned over. He looked her up and down; it was just long enough to let the lust set in his body as he took in her sexiness. "What does it take to get you drunk?"

Haley's face flushed red. She pushed him away as he laughed.

"So?" Owen asked.

Haley's eyes settled on the martini special listed on the small chalkboard behind the bar. "I'll take an apple martini."

Nathan arched his eyebrow. "That sounds good. Think I could have a taste?"

"Maybe," Haley said giving him a flirty smile. "If you play your cards right."

Nathan fought off the urge to grab her and lay a passionate kiss on her. Five minutes with her and he was already getting antsy to leave…and head back to her place. Yeah, he had every intention of spending the night there again.

As soon as Owen put her drink down in front of her Haley took a long sip. She could feel it working its way down her throat. The butterflies were forming in her stomach and she hoped this would settle her down. It didn't help that he was wearing that damn black hoodie sweatshirt again. She pointed to it. "I hope you washed that thing."

"I did," Nathan said slightly offended. "I do know how to do wash you know."

"I was just thinking maybe you didn't have time to."

"It was the first thing I did when I got home. And," Nathan said turning to face her, "I even went home to change into it after my doctor's appointment because I knew how much you liked it."

Haley cheeks tinged with a slight blush. "I didn't know you had a doctor's appointment today."

"It actually slipped my mind until my agent called me. I had to haul ass there."

"And it went well?"

"Yeah, considering….I've been kind of slacking and now they have this new guy that's going up for the same position as me," Nathan hesitantly admitted. "But I did well on all the tests they put me through. I'm pretty sure the only reason I did so good on the stress test was because of the two good night's sleep I've had."

Haley bit her lip nervously. All she could think about was his father's heart condition that Luke inherited. "Do they make you go through all sorts of test because of your family history?"

Nathan took a sip of his drink. "Probably, but they know I don't have HCM."

"You don't?" Haley asked. She knew that was true, but needed to hear it from him. Lucas had lied about it after all when he first found out.

Nathan shook his head adamantly. "No." He watched as Haley let out a sigh of relief. He was touched by her concern. "How about you? How was your day?"

"Busy! Dr. Greene wants all kinds of stuff from me by Tuesday. I don't know how I'm going to get it done with my mom coming in. She's going to have to, like, go away for a day."

"I guess we're both stressed out. But you know what?" Nathan asked with a glint in his eye. "You're not planning on working anymore tonight, are you?"

Haley shook her head.

"Well, I'm not planning on going for a run either, so what do you say we don't talk about our jobs for the rest of the night. Let's just be two people out having fun." Nathan picked up his glass and held it up.

Haley joyfully picked up her glass and clinked it with his.

They each took a drink and shared a brief kiss.

Nathan looked at Haley curiously, then looked around the bar. "Hey, where did your stalker go?"

Haley gestured to the pool tables behind them to the right. "He sulked off after Owen confirmed what a hot shot you are!"

Nathan turned around and spotted Damien. He was standing in the corner of the bar, holding a pool stick, glowering at Nathan as he waited to take his turn. Nathan gave him a mocking grin as he took another drink.

When he turned back around, Haley reached over, put her hand on the center of Nathan's back and rubbed it. "You handled that well."

Nathan didn't think about it until she said it. "You mean because I didn't punch his lights out like I wanted to?"

"That's what you wanted to do? You thought about it?"

"For a second." Nathan put his hand on her knee appreciatively. "Then I saw you and that smile…and it just-what's it called?" he asked teasingly.

"You redirected your anger," Haley answered smugly.

"Do I get a reward for that?" Nathan asked raising his eyebrow up.

Haley picked up her glass. "We'll see," she said coyly. She finished off her drink, pushed the glass forward, and raised her hand at Owen. "I'll have another."

Nathan was not about to be showed up by Haley. He finished off his drink and looked at Owen. "Me too!"

* * *

><p>"Put me down!" Haley demanded.<p>

"One more kiss," Nathan pleaded.

With her arms clasped tightly around his neck as her legs hung over his arm, Haley pushed up and gave him a kiss. It was quickly followed by another. And another.

They both laughed as Nathan finally put her down. The laughter turned into a fit of giggles as Haley struggled to get her key into the door of her apartment. Nathan kept pressed up against her back, poking and touching her, as he purposely made it more it more difficult.

When Nathan slowed things down by rubbing his hands up and down the side of her body, Haley was able to get her key in the lock. She turned the lock and pushed the door open, but remained still, leaning back against Nathan. She took in his touch as his hands slipped around her waist and his lips moved to her neck.

Suddenly the apartment next door opened up. Nathan shuffled Haley inside. They began laughing again as they bumped into each other as they both turned to shut the door. As she hunched over laughing, Haley's keys and purse dropped.

It was Nathan who finally shut the door. Haley picked her purse and walked over and dropped it on the couch.

Nathan looked around and picked up her keys off the floor.

Haley was there when he popped back up. She put her hand out for the keys. Nathan handed it over and followed her over as she picked up her purse and put the keys inside.

Haley's eyes lit up with excitement once she saw what was in her purse. She had forgotten about that! She gave herself credit for putting that purchase in her purse instead of leaving it in her car. After leaving the bar, it had been clear neither one was in any shape to drive, so they took a cab back to her place. Tomorrow they would have to deal with getting their cars back.

Haley took the black strings of his hoodie and toyed with them. "I really want this sweatshirt."

"You do?" Nathan smirked.

Haley nodded. "What will it take?"

"You—_Naked_."

Haley shook her head adamantly. "But I have something else you might want." She reached inside of her purse and pulled out a stick of deodorant with a triumphant smile.

Nathan shook his head. "That's nice, but I'd still rather see you naked."

"No! But…it's," Haley shoved the stick into his hands. "it's the right kind, right? It's the kind you use?"

Nathan tried to look closely at the stick. It was little blurry. He could tell it was the right brand, but had to open it up and smell it to see if was the same exact kind. "Yup! This is it! How did you know?"

"I smelt them," Haley answered tipsily.

Nathan burst into laughter. Haley was freaking hilarious tonight. "Smelt them?"

Haley tried to refocus. "I smelt—smelled—I smelled all the kinds of deodorant—" She looked at Nathan with wild eyes as she grabbed his shoulder, partially to steady herself. "Do you know how many kinds there are! There must be over a hundred! And I smelt—smelled all of them!"

Nathan laughed harder as he envisioned Haley doing that.

Haley began laughing with him. She wasn't sure why she was laughing, she just knew she made him laugh, which made her laugh and she liked laughing. She couldn't remember the last time she laughed that much. "So, do we have a deal?"

Nathan tossed the deodorant on the couch. "So, I get to spend the night?"

"Do you want to?"

"I actually brought some things." Nathan looked towards the door. "They're you know, in my car."

They both laughed some more.

"See!" Haley exclaimed. "It's good I got the deodorant. Now hand over that sweatshirt!"

"Not so fast." Nathan eyed the buttons of her shirt. "If you get to see me with my shirt off, I should get to see you with your shirt off."

"Un-uh. I'm not that drunk," she said slightly slurring her words.

Nathan immediately laughed at her again.

Haley caught him off-guard by grabbing at the collar of his sweatshirt with both hands. She looked at him with serious eyes. "You can spend the night, but you have to leave early; before my mom comes!" Before Nathan could agree to this, Haley continued, this time yelling right in his face. "And WE ARE NOT HAVING SEX!"

Nathan started laughing again. He was getting used to Haley throwing out these disclaimers. It greatly amused him, especially since after she said them; it allowed her to relax….which suited him just fine.

Haley took a step back and stomped her foot. "I mean it!"

"Okay, okay. We'll just get naked," Nathan joked.

"No, no, no!"

"I won't even touch you," Nathan said taking a step towards her.

Haley stepped back. As she became emotional, she realized that she was indeed drunk. "Nathan, my mom! My mom is going to be here! And I can't-I can't-I promised her!"

Nathan saw she was closed to tears. He put his arms softly at her shoulders. "What did you promise her?"

"That I would only have sex with my boyfriend," Haley mumbled looking at her feet.

Nathan's eyes widened in surprise. "You have a boyfriend?"

"No!" Haley said in frustration. "I don't! That's the problem! I need to have a boyfriend to have sex."

Nathan was still confused, but his thoughts were clouded by alcohol as well. "Huh?"

Haley thrust her finger into his chest. "You're not my boyfriend, so I can't have sex with you! It's my mom's rule!"

"What are you twelve?" Nathan half-joked. "We're adults, Haley and we're only human. You said yourself that you don't want a boyfriend and I…." He trailed off unsure of what to say.

Haley let the silence fall over them. She shuffled her feet and cocked her head to the side and pouted at him.

Nathan grabbed her at pulled her close to him. "You are so damn cute."

"Cute?" Haley asked putting on a more severe pout.

"Yes. When you get naked, you'll be sexy."

"Nathan! Stop it!" Haley whined. When Nathan tried to lean in for a kiss, she pulled back. "What were you going to say? Finish it."

Nathan took a deep breath. He really didn't want to upset her, but he also didn't want to lead her on. "I don't like labels. Can't we just keep doing what we're doing?"

It took Haley a minute to reply. "No sex."

Nathan could still see all kinds of possibilities for fun while honoring her mother's "rule." "What exactly is your definition of sex?"

"Are you referring to oral sex?" Haley asked soberly.

"You sound like a doctor when you say it like that," Nathan laughed.

"Oral sex is sex. It even says it in the name," Haley whispered.

"Why are you whispering?" Nathan whispered back.

Haley put her fingers over her lips. "Shhhhh. Sex is sex."

Nathan came to conclusion that his chances were sliming of having that kind of fun with Haley. As she walked across the living room and into the kitchen, he followed her. He began thinking of other possibilities of fun.

Haley reached into the refrigerator, pulled out one of the bottle of beers from last night, twisted off the cap and handed it to Nathan.

Nathan set the bottle of beer on the counter, grabbed her from behind and spun her back around. She began giggling in excitement. He eyed her up and down, his eyes landing on her chest and the buttons of her shirt. "God, I want to see you naked," he blurted out.

"Shhhh….Nathan, you can't say things like that," Haley said trying to sound stern but miserably failing.

"Did I say that out loud?" Nathan grinned.

Haley nodded and smiled. "You did." She took the strings of his sweatshirt and again began to fiddle with them.

"If you want this," Nathan said looking down at his shirt, "you know how to get it."

"I'm not going to let you see me get naked," Haley said dramatically.

"How about you see me naked then?" Nathan asked with a glint in his eye. He quickly grew excited with the idea. "Oh, yeah. Last night you didn't even get to see—"

Haley put her fingers to his lips. "Shhhhh. Stop it. No one is getting naked tonight." She grabbed the bottle of Peach Schnapps and a glass for herself.

"Hey!" Nathan protested looking at his beer. "I want some of that!"

"Fine, but drink this first." Haley handed him the bottle of beer and along with the Schnapps and gave him a soft push. "Go."

"Where?" Nathan turned around and saw she was getting out another glass. "The bedroom? Please tell me we're taking this to the bedroom."

"The couch!" Haley said brushing past him.

Nathan smiled. He _knew_ they could have fun on the couch too.

* * *

><p>"Oh," Haley groaned. She kept eyes shut tightly to avoid facing the light of morning. She put her hand to the primary source of her pain; her forehead. "Are you awake?" She asked.<p>

When she didn't get a response, Haley turned to her side and squinted. The bed was empty. Haley sat up, rubbed her eyes and looked around. She tried to remember what happened last night. She could only get to a certain point when things became hazy, like in a dream. She was starting to wonder if it was all a dream when she heard clanking noises from the kitchen.

Haley got out of bed and stumbled into the kitchen. Nathan was standing at the island counter mixing something in a bowl. A quick look around at the ingredients, cooking utensils and pan told her it was pancakes.

Nathan grinned at her. "Hey, beautiful. Hungry?"

"This has to be a dream," Haley said quietly.

Nathan handed Haley a glass of orange juice and two small pills. "Here. Take this. It'll help."

"What is it?"

"Just aspirin."

Haley took the pills, put them in her mouth and chased them down with a long drink of the orange juice. As the aftertaste set in, she scrunched up her face and smelled the orange juice. "Uh, Nathan, I think this went bad."

Nathan gave her a half of a smile. "Nope. I just added a little something to it."

"What?"

"A little of that Schnapps."

"Nathan! That is not going to help me!"

"Yes, it will. It's the perfect cure for a hangover. Trust me. I majored in it in college."

Haley looked skeptically at the orange juice.

"Haley, trust me. Besides you have to pull it together. Your mom will be here soon—"

Haley chugged the orange juice and slammed the glass down. "My mom! Nathan, you have to go!"

"Relax. I'm cooking breakfast for all of us."

Haley was sure she hadn't heard him right. "What?"

"Baby, go get dressed."

Haley pointed to him. He was shirtless and only wearing a pair of jeans. "What about you?"

Nathan shook his head, laughed and pointed back at her. "Yeah, I would put on a shirt, if I had one!"

Haley looked down and saw she was wearing Nathan's black hoodie sweatshirt. "Oh, no," she said nervously.

Haley went into full alarm mode once she heard knocking on the door. "Oh my God! Nathan! This place is a mess! Why the hell did you start cooking pancakes when you could have cleaned up? "

Nathan grabbed the empty beer bottles and glasses from the coffee table and pushed Haley towards the bathroom. "Yeah, I was just trying to impress you the past few days. I'm really a slob. It's about time you found out. Now, go hit the showers."

As more knocking sounded, Haley looked behind her. "But my mom!"

"I got it!" Nathan yelled from the kitchen.

Haley was about to leave when a vague memory hit her. She ran into the living room and began picking up the assortment of clothes around the couch. "Nathan, did we—"

Nathan picked up Haley's bra from behind the couch and added it to the pile in Haley's arms. "Just go."

Haley flew to her bedroom and tossed the clothes on her bed. When she heard Nathan opening the door, she discreetly took a few steps down the hallway so she could hear what was going on.

"Hey! You must be Haley's mom!"

"You must be Nathan! I'm Lydia."

"Nathan?"

"Yeah, Haley's boyfriend," Nathan answered. "And you must be her sister….which one? Quinn?"

"Taylor."

"Well, come in. I was just making breakfast. Haley's in the shower."

Haley flew into the bathroom and shut the door. This was not a dream; it was an alternate universe. It had to be. It was the only explanation that made sense. Yet, if this was an alternate universe, she kind of wanted to stay there. She was ready to cut the cord, say goodbye to her foolish notions of needing to be single and surrender to this new reality. Nathan was her boyfriend, right? Didn't he say that?

* * *

><p>Preview of next chapter: "Miss Independent" (Kelly Clarkson)<p>

AN: Next chapter you get a very long flashback!

Thanks for reading and all of the reviews! I appreciate all of them! I wanted to get this chapter up tonight because I promised. I know it's a busy night w/the new episode on. I forgot about that when I said I would post. I probably won't post on an episode night again-there are so few left; it's so sad! Anyway, it sounds like some of you will keep reading fanfic, so it will live on that way! It's something, right?


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer #1**: Characters, minor plot points and dialogue belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and _One Tree Hill_ writers.

**Disclaimer #2**: Although my career is in the field of psychology, I have taken a lot of liberties with my story. My background is nothing like Haley's in this story. Her story only has _a little_ basis in reality. I know many people in that field who have given me inspiration for details here and there, but this situation is entirely fictional. Please don't take what you read as fact, especially when it comes to the research discussed and ethics of practicing psychology. As with all my stories, you have to use the suspension of disbelief, just as you do with our favorite tv show. The examples in this story are merely for plot purposes. If you do have questions or concerns about the psychological elements of the story, please feel free to pm. I'd love to discuss!

AN: **Bailey Rae** wanted this update first, so this is for her! Hope the rest of you agree! _Far Away_ will be updated soon as well!

Chapter 15: "Miss Independent" (Kelly Clarkson)

Haley kept her back pressed against the bathroom door as she tried to remember what happened last night….and how Nathan had become her "boyfriend." Their clothes had come off one at a time; she was sure of that. How? She pictured them on the couch with that bottle of Schapps.

* * *

><p><em>Haley was drinking the final sips from her glass when Nathan started laughing. She tried to remember if she said anything, but didn't think she did. She shrugged and poured herself a refill. She looked at him, waiting for him to stop laughing, but he wouldn't. She didn't want to admit she couldn't recall what she had done, but had to ask. "Okay, what did I do now?"<em>

_Nathan tried to take sip of his beer, but had to put the bottle down. He hit his knee and started to laugh again. "I'm just…I'm just….You….I can picture…" He trailed off again laughing._

"_Nathan," Haley whined. "Tell me. I want to laugh too." She didn't care if it was at her own expense. In fact, she kind of liked how she kept making him laugh, but it was better when they laughed together._

"_I'm picturing you smelling all those deodorants," Nathan said wiping the corner of his mouth. "Smelting the deodorants!" _

_Haley started laughing. It was quite a scene. More than one person had stopped to give her a strange look. When they were finished laughing, Haley moved closer to Nathan. She lifted her head towards his. "I did it for you."_

"_You looked like a fool for me?" Nathan asked moving his head down._

_They shared a wet, mushy kiss as they each tried to taste each other. Nathan forcefully leaned into her and opened his mouth wide to let her tongue into his mouth. He began aggressively sucking on it. He was just getting a nice taste of the Schnapps and even a hint of the apple martini when she pulled away. By now, he was fully turned on….and still desperate to see her naked. _

"_What do you want to do?" Haley asked innocently._

"_What do I want to do? You want me to answer that?"_

_Haley got up and headed towards the kitchen._

"_Hey! Where are you going?"_

"_I'm bored. I don't just want to sit around. I want to do something."_

"_We could watch—"_

"_And I'M SICK OF WATCHING MOVIES!" Haley shouted from the kitchen._

_He had nothing then. Nathan leaned back. He was starting to feel a little lightheaded. He attributed it to the various concoctions of drinks he had over the night. _

_Haley traipsed out of the kitchen with a bottle of beer and a deck of cards. She handed Nathan the bottle and took a seat next to him._

_Nathan looked at the bottle of beer. What prompted that? Was she trying to get him more drunk? _

_Haley took the cards out of the box and began shuffling. "Okay. What can you play?"_

_Nathan tried to get his act together. He needed to think straight if he was going to play cards….or maybe not. A brilliant idea crossed his mind. "You play poker?"_

"_Yup. My brother, Paul, taught me. Watch out!"_

_They played a few rounds, with Haley winning most of them._

"_You know, Hales, I'm getting bored," Nathan said refilling his glass of Schnapps._

"_Why? Because you're losing," Haley bragged. She playfully elbowed him. "I never knew you were a sore loser."_

"_How about we spice things up a bit?" Nathan suggested casually._

"_Yes! You give me the sweatshirt if I win!"_

"_I could go along with that…..You know, as part of a game of strip poker." Nathan kept a straight-face as he looked in her eyes. She was considering it. That was a good sign._

"_I don't think I could do that," Haley said quietly._

_Nathan straightened up, ready to plead his case. "You make the rules. Nothing you're uncomfortable with. We can stop at any time….and everything counts….Earrings, shoes, socks…" He looked her over. "You have the advantage, Hales." _

"_We can stop at any time?"_

"_You just say the word." Nathan took of his sweatshirt and handed it to her. "Here…as payment for the games you won. Put it on to give you a head start."_

_Haley's eyes were glued to his finely chiseled abs. Yeah, she could play with those rules. She put the sweatshirt over her head. Her eyes darted right back to his chest. "Yeah. Let's go."_

* * *

><p><em>As Haley sat there down to just her underwear, sweatshirt and skirt, she was sure that Nathan had played her. The second the game turned into "strip poker" his luck had "changed." Then, when she called him on it and threatened to end the game, he lost the next two rounds. Now, he was down to his boxers and a single sock. <em>

_Haley looked at her hand at the end of the round. "What do you have?"_

_Nathan put down his hand. "Two pair."_

"_Ha!" Haley planted her cards down. "Three of a kind!"_

_Nathan stood up and put his hands on his boxers. "Okay. You asked for it. Haley James, be prepared to be amazed."_

_Haley shot up and frantically waved her hands at him. "No! What are you doing? You still have your sock."_

_Nathan looked at her unaffected. "So? I thought I'd take these off next."_

"_No! You said I get to make the rules. The rules say that the winner gets to decide what you take off! I want you to take off the sock!"_

_Nathan chuckled. This was too easy….and so much fun. "Fine." He sat back down on the couch, took off his sock and added it to their pile of clothes. He grabbed the deck of cards and started to shuffle._

_He dealt out five cards to each of them. He looked at his cards. He had a pair of tens, a Jack, a five and a two. He scratched his chin pondering his move. He wasn't sure what to do. It was clear she was nervous about seeing him naked….and she had more clothes left. He decided to try and win. He held on to this tens and Jack and threw down his other two cards._

_Haley looked at her cards. She had a lousy hand. That was fine. She was prepared to lose anyway. She threw down her three lowest cards and kept her Ace and nine. To her relief, she got nothing with her three new cards. She turned them over. "I fold."_

"_Pair of tens," Nathan said flashing his cards. He looked her over._

_Haley stood up preparing to take off her skirt._

"_Hey! Slow down there, killer. I haven't said what I want you to take off; your rules."_

_Haley's eyes widened. She was sure he had set her up again. "I am going to kill you! I want to change the rules back!"_

"_Can't do that," Nathan calmly stated. God, he loved getting her going like this. _

"_Yes, I can. I make the rules, remember!"_

_Nathan kept messing with her. "Yeah, but you can't change them back and forth like that."_

_Haley's head started to feel like it was spinning. "Y-Yes. Yes, I can. I just made up that rule now."_

_Nathan picked up his beer and finished off the bottle. "Whatever. I was just going to make you take off your bra. I figured it would be more comfortable for you that way."_

_Haley was fuming…because he was right. She wished she had thought of that. Now, there was no way she was going to do that. His sweatshirt was just long enough to cover up her ass…if she held it down. She was going to have to do that. Haley unzipped her skirt, pulled down the sweatshirt to cover as much as possible of herself and slid down the skirt. When she sat back down, the sweatshirt bunched up. She had to cross her legs to keep Nathan from more of view than she was ready for. _

_As she held the shirt down and tried to get comfortable, Nathan snickered. "I told you…You should have taken off the bra. I wouldn't have been able to see anything and now I get a fine view of those legs." He leaned down and took a closer view. Her banged up leg had scrapes and bruises. "Although, the left one still looks pretty nasty. Does it hurt?"_

"_No," Haley said huffily. She wanted to reach over and get the cards, but she didn't dare move. Instead, she pointed. "Get me the cards."_

_Nathan picked up the cards, shuffled them for her and gave them back to her. She dealt them. Two minutes later, the round ended with Haley losing. She testily reached under her sweatshirt, unhooked her bra and tossed it at him._

_Nathan gleefully picked up her bra and began to examine it. Haley grabbed it from him and tossed it over the side of the couch._

_Nathan scooped up all the cards and dramatically shuffled them in front of Haley. "Now, I want you to think carefully about this. Are we going to keep going? The stakes are high here. I mean, who do really want to win? What is the best possible outcome in your mind?"_

_Haley bit her lip. She wanted to see him naked but even in her inebriated state, it scared her. She had a feeling it would lead to another loss of self-control. "I think we should go to bed."_

_Nathan put down the deck of the cards and smiled at her. He figured she would balk. "Yeah, why don't we do that."_

_Haley was relieved he didn't push her. With all the frisky energy in her tonight, it wouldn't take much for her to cave. She knew she should probably clean up their mess, but decided it could wait until morning. She shut off the lights and headed to her bedroom with Nathan hot on her heels._

"_I had fun, Hales. Did you?"_

_His words reignited her playful side; a side that seem to fully emerge when he was around. Haley turned around, causing Nathan to stumble up against the wall. "I did have fun." She put her hands on his broad shoulders and caressed them. "Thank you for letting me keep things under control."_

"_See? We can do this. We can have fun and not let things get too far."_

_Haley slid her hands down to his waist. "You're not disappointed?"_

_Nathan cocked his head back and forth. "Maybe a little. I wanted you to see me; or at least want to see me."_

_Letting the alcohol get the best of her, Haley giggled. She slid her hands up and down appreciatively over his chest. "Did I hurt your ego?"_

"_You did that a long time ago," Nathan muttered. Overcome with renewed desires and a cloudy mind, he began to plead passionately with Haley. He looked down at the bulge in his boxers. It had subsided during the start of their game, but as the game neared its end, was back in full force. "I really just want you to take a peek. Just look. Please?" _

_Haley laughed. He couldn't be serious. He sounded like a little boy asking to get ice cream from the ice cream truck. "Why is it such a big deal?"_

_Nathan pouted and began to whine. "You insulted us, back at the bank."_

_Haley's felt a dull aching in the center of her head as she processed through his words. "Huh? Who?"_

_Nathan looked down at his boxers and back up at Haley. "You said it didn't work right."_

_Haley started laughing so hard she put her hand up to the wall to steady herself. "You're talking about," she eyed the bulge. She couldn't even finish her thoughts._

_Nathan put his hands on his hips. "We need to prove ourselves to you. I want you to see what I have." _

"_You don't have to prove anything to me, Nathan."_

"_Yes, I do! I keep thinking about last night—"_

_Haley covered his mouth with her hand. "Shhhhh." She sighed heavily as she let her hand drop. "This is important to you?"_

"_It will stop me from having bad dreams," Nathan said giving her his most sullen face._

_Haley rolled her eyes as she recalled his "nightmare." "Just a quick look will make you feel better?"_

"_It will help me sleep like a baby. I won't even touch you when we get into bed."_

_Haley gave him a disappointed look. "What if I want you to touch me?"_

_Nathan put his hands on her arms and rubbed them. "That's a different story."_

"_I may want a little touching," Haley said with a slight smirk._

"_You could get a little touching." Nathan put his hands on the tip of his boxers. "Okay, ready?"_

_Haley put her hand over her eyes, peeking out through two of her fingers._

_Nathan laughed. "Haley, it defeats the purpose if you do that." He pushed her hand down. _

_Haley shook her head as she braced herself. Nathan held out his boxers. She leaned over and took a look. _

_A smug smiled spread over Nathan's face as Haley's eyes widened. It was exactly the reaction he wanted….Until she put her hand over her mouth and started giggling. He furiously let go of his waistband and let them snap against his skin. His face flushed with embarrassment._

_Haley kept her eyes glued to his boxers as she nervously laughed. She tried to reach over to the tip of his boxers to get another look, but Nathan's hands clasped over hers._

"_Glad you think it's funny." He looked down as his erection began to fade. "See. She's laughing at us. She doesn't take you seriously."_

_Haley giggles turned into a fit of laughter. As Nathan turned to leave, Haley grabbed him from behind. "No, I'm not laughing at you-or him-or it—HA, HA, HA! It's how you talk to it like's a real thing!"_

_Nathan turned around to face her. "It is a real thing! It's a big part of me!"_

_Haley tried to bit her lip to stop her laughter. She nodded and tried to look serious. "Uh-huh. Big part. I saw that."_

"_Now you're making fun of me!"_

_Haley grabbed his arm. "No, no. I'm not. Oh, you're such a boy."_

_Nathan's face flushed with disappointment. "A boy?"_

"_A man," Haley clarified. She intertwined her arms through his and moved them up his back and pulled him close. "A man with a big-what are you calling it?"_

"_I don't have a name for it," Nathan said tersely._

_Haley rubbed him up and down and pressed her body close to his. "Oh, there it is! I think it likes me."_

"_Haley, you need to stop. You're teasing me and it's making me horny as hell."_

"_I thought we were having fun," Haley pouted._

"_There are some things you don't joke about with a guy."_

"_I wasn't joking," Haley said seriously. "I'm drunk. And it is big. It made me laugh because-I don't know! I was nervous-or excited. You have to know that, Nathan. I mean, come on. You know that about yourself, don't you?"_

_Nathan shrugged. "I had a bad night last night."_

"_We're back to that again!" Haley said exasperated. She turned him around and pushed him into her bedroom. _

"_And you said that at the bank!" Nathan argued as they got into bed. "And it works. Trust me it works. It works just fine."_

_Haley was about to get into bed when she froze. She looked at Nathan with panic in her eyes._

_Nathan read her thoughts and returned her look._

"_I'm on the pill," Haley said quickly._

_Nathan closed his eyes and let a sigh of relief. "Thank God. But I don't have anything for you to worry about….and I have a condom in my wallet."_

_Haley got into bed and cuddled up close to him. "Maybe we should just go to sleep."_

_Nathan yawned. "Yeah. I'm tired."_

_Haley settled into his arms and knew it wouldn't be long before they were both out cold. "I had fun tonight. I really did."_

"_I did too. We both did."_

_It took Haley a minute to get his joke. She gave him a playful tap. "You're so funny," she mocked him._

"_Shhhh," Nathan said keeping his eyes closed. "He's settling down. Don't get him riled up again."_

_Haley laughed. "You're too much."_

_Nathan gave her a kiss on the side of the head. "Good night, Doc."_

_As Haley closed her eyes, a smile spread over her face. "Good night."_

* * *

><p>With her memory full recovered, Haley ran out of the bathroom and burst into the kitchen. Her mother and sister were sitting on stools at the island counter and Nathan was at the stove, just about to pour some batter into the pan.<p>

All three faces looked at her.

Taylor burst into laughter and Lydia beamed.

"Haley Bob!" Lydia exclaimed standing up.

"We did not have sex last night!" Haley blurted out.

Silence fell over the kitchen. Haley stood there firmly fighting off embarrassment. She knew her mother and sister had already arrived at that conclusion and as she stood there wearing only Nathan's sweatshirt, she wanted to be sure they understood how serious she was.

Nathan slowly put down the bowl of batter and shut off the stove.

"Well, then," Lydia said breaking the silence. It was followed by more silence. "I honestly don't know why not," she added.

Taylor started laughing, Nathan flushed with embarrassment and Haley stomped her foot.

"Mom!"

Lydia walked toward Haley and gave her a hug. "It's nice of you to share that with us. I'm sure Nathan appreciates that."

"He knows I tell you everything."

Lydia hushed her voice as she pulled away from her daughter. "Yes, but Haley—"

Nathan popped up beside them. He gave Lydia a charming smile. "I got this, Mrs. James." As Lydia stepped away, Nathan began to guide Haley away from the kitchen. "Come on, Haley. Let's go have a talk."

Haley looked behind her as they headed to her bedroom. Her mother was watching them with a warm smile on her face. Taylor was texting away on her phone. "Great. Taylor has already probably told my whole family how we're shacking up!"

Once they were inside her bedroom, Nathan shut the door. "What are you so worried about?"

"I'm not like this! I don't do this! And….you told them you were my boyfriend. You don't know my family, Nathan. They're never going to let me live this down. You should have left when you had the chance. Why didn't you leave?"

Nathan shrugged. "I wanted to meet your mom." Was that really so hard to believe?

"But you told her you were my boyfriend. At first I thought it was because—"

"Haley, don't read too much into it. It was just easier to say that. I know you care what she thinks and don't want to upset her."

"So, you're not….I mean…you lied?"

Nathan sighed and sat down on the bed. He pushed over the pile of clothes and made room for Haley next to him. "I don't like labels."

"Yeah, you keep saying that. It's so typical."

"What does that mean?"

"Guys who don't want to commit say that," Haley mumbled. She heard it a million times from her sisters, college roommates and friends.

"I'm here, aren't I? Meeting your mom? Cooking breakfast? And, you said you didn't want to a boyfriend, anyway."

Yet, this wasn't the first either one of them let someone assume they were a committed couple. The list included Matthew's family, Damien, and now her family. Haley wasn't sure what this meant, but she didn't think she had the clarity of mind to figure it out. "I don't know, Nathan."

"Neither do I. Let's not complicate things. Let's just enjoy the day."

"The day?" Haley asked curiously.

"I want to take your mom and sister out to dinner; to a real nice place….If that's okay."

It sounded like what a boyfriend would do. Haley put her hand on his knee. "That's sweet. Why don't you ask them? I'm really not sure what they have planned."

Nathan gave her a kiss on the cheek. "I'm going to run home after breakfast. I have some things to do. Why don't you hit the shower though, then we can figure things out?"

Haley nodded. When Nathan stood up, Haley remembered she was still wearing his shirt. She still had high intentions of claiming it as her own, but it would have to wait another day. Hit with a surge of courage from their conversation and Nathan's actions, Haley decided to give it back to him….and to reciprocate with a kind gesture herself. "Hey, Nathan? Want to hand me my bathrobe? It's hanging off my closet door."

Nathan gave her a perplexed look. Sure he was standing, but she was two steps away from it. Nonetheless, he walked to her closet door and grabbed the bathrobe hanging off the top of the door. When he turned around, Haley was standing there in only a black pair of lace panties holding out his sweatshirt for him to take. He stood there stunned, breathing heavily as he looked at her body. She was sexier that he imagined. Her breasts were the perfect size. She had an hourglass figure with soft curves. And those panties concealed her private areas so delicately. His eyes moved up and down her, but ultimately focused on her breasts. He couldn't move. If he moved, even the slightest bit, it was going to be to touch them.

Haley loved shocking him like that. She let him stand there taking in the sight he had been so desperate to see until it became slightly awkward. At that point, she had to pry the bathrobe from his hands to make a swap for the sweatshirt. She put the bathrobe around her body and flipped her long hair over her shoulder. Nathan was still standing there wordlessly. The way he was watching her made her feel confident and sexy. It was something she never experienced coming from a guy before. It began to unleash all sorts of possibilities in her mind.

Haley opened the door to her bedroom. She turned around and found Nathan had finally recovered. He was putting on the sweatshirt. "I expect that back," she said sternly pointing at him.

Nathan swallowed hard. His mind was already thinking about tonight….and being alone with Haley. "It's yours. A deal is a deal."

Haley was thinking about the same thing. She quickly headed into the bathroom, hoping a nice long shower would clear her cluttered mind.

* * *

><p>Taking a shower and putting on a fresh set of clothes did Haley a world of good. By the time she joined everyone in the kitchen, her hangover was almost gone. Haley took a seat at the island counter in between Nathan and Taylor. It appeared as though Nathan was waiting to eat with her. Taylor was finished and glued to her smartphone as Lydia cleaned up in the kitchen.<p>

Haley looked at the plate of pancakes before her with a few slices of butter and syrup drizzled over it. "This looks so good!"

Nathan smiled. He picked up his glass of orange juice and took a drink. Lydia was just as he pictured and Haley was right. He did really like her. He wasn't sure about Taylor, but she stayed quiet, more interested in her phone. That was fine because he got to spend more time getting to know Lydia and learning about Haley. In the end, he really enjoyed everything about the morning. It felt like a real family breakfast; the kind he never had with his own family. Now that Haley was here, his spirits lifted even further. "How are you feeling?"

"Good." Haley picked up her glass of orange juice. Before she drank it, she sniffed it.

"Don't worry. I didn't spike your drink!" Taylor shouted over Nathan. "This time," she laughed.

"Shut up," Haley retorted.

Nathan was starting to understand the family dynamics here. Apparently, Haley and Taylor weren't the closest siblings.

Haley looked her glass and back at Nathan.

"It's just OJ. The first glass helped though, right?" He nudged her.

Haley's smile gave it away.

"My husband used to make pancakes," Lydia said.

"I've heard a lot about him. He sounded like a great guy." Nathan looked at both Lydia and Taylor. "I'm sorry you lost him."

"It's been hard," Lydia said seriously. "Haley's had a rough time."

"Mom!" Haley protested.

"You just deal with things in your own way." Lydia looked at Nathan. "As I'm sure you know by now, this one has an independent streak. She likes to be different. She may take the long way home, but she gets there just the same."

"It's true," Taylor confirmed. "Haley Bob thinks because she's across the country she can hide from us, but she can't!" She gave Haley a wicked smile. "That's why we like to show up uninvited to see what's going on." She looked at Nathan. "Boy am I glad I came this time," she said with a pleased smile.

"Why did you come?" Haley said putting down her fork. "Just so you could get a free trip?"

"Actually, I've been spending a lot of time with Mom lately," Taylor countered. "You would know that if you were around."

"I talk to Mom every day!—"

Lydia approached them from the opposite side of the counter and gave both daughters a stern look. "Ladies—enough!" She shook her head at Nathan. "Nathan, aren't you grateful you didn't come from a large family with plenty of siblings to fight with?"

"I think large families are nice," Nathan replied just before taking another bite of his pancakes.

Lydia gave Haley a smile. "Oh yeah? You like large families?"

Nathan saw the look between the two women and understood. "Yeah, like being around people," he said gesturing to all of them. "Like being a part of _other people's_ large families."

Haley put her hand on the center of Nathan's back. "Mom, lay off him. I already talked to you about this."

Nathan still couldn't get over how much she talked about him to her mother. She really did tell her mother everything….well almost everything. He was sure there was thing she still didn't know. He was grateful for that.

Lydia shrugged. "Well, I had six children and they fought all the time, let me tell you—"

"Mom, Taylor fought with everyone," Haley corrected her mother while shooting her sister a nasty look.

Taylor set down her phone and looked at Haley and Nathan.

Nathan tensed up. He felt like he was the referee in the middle of a tip off.

"Nathan Scott," Taylor began, "I remember you. I was a senior when you were a freshman."

Nathan picked up his glass of orange juice. He did not like where this was going. "Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. We might have been at some of the same parties. Too bad I transferred to private school to finish out my senior year. I'm sure we would have met up sooner or later. I know what those parties with the varsity basketball players were like," she said coyly. "And I heard lots of stories about you at those parties."

Haley leaned over Nathan. "Why don't tell him why you had to go to a private school, Taylor?"

Lydia spun around. "Haley! That is not necessary!"

"I'll tell him why," Taylor fumed. "It's because I didn't have a rich daddy to buy my way out of trouble!"

Haley sprung up. "You bitch!"

Nathan stood up and blocked Haley from lunging at her sister by putting his hands on her shoulders. "Hales, she's right. My dad did that kind of shit all of the time."

Haley pointed desperately at Taylor. "But she's judging you and she has no right!"

Lucas' words rung in his head: _fiercely loyal_. At the time he heard Lucas said it, he knew her only as _Lucas' Haley_. Now, she was _his Haley_. His gratitude rang deep. Nathan leaned down kissed her forehead, then whispered in her ear. "You defending me like this means a lot….and it's kind of hot. Cool it down, will you?"

Haley chuckled. She glared at Taylor as she took her seat. "You're lucky."

Lydia and Taylor exchanged surprised glances as Haley settled down.

"So," Lydia anxiously jumped in, "Nathan offered to take us out to dinner. After, I thought we'd head down to the Santa Monica Pier."

"I've never been," Nathan admitted. "Sounds fun."

Haley brightened. Anything with him be fun. "I like the sound of that."

Nathan finished his plate of pancakes and stood up to leave. "I have to get going." He looked at Taylor. "You guys have a rental?"

"Yup. I wasn't counting on Haley not to ditching us for work," Taylor said wryly.

Haley looked away as guilt set in.

"Why don't you walk me out?" Nathan softly asked.

Haley nodded. She felt bad he was going to have to take a cab, but there was no way she was going to ask her sister to give him a ride to get his car.

"I'll wait for you." He looked down at her bare leg. "Since you need to put that foot wrap on."

Haley rolled her eyes and walked to her bedroom.

"Nice to meet you," Nathan said to Lydia and Taylor.

"You too."

"Bye!" Taylor said giving him a happy wave.

Nathan was outside calling for his cab when Haley came back out.

"Mom, did you ever think you'd see the day when someone would tell 'Miss Independent' what to do?" Taylor asked.

"He does not tell me what to do!" Haley said indignantly.

"Don't start, Taylor," Lydia interjected. "He just knows how to handle her. God knows you could use someone like that."

"Yeah, you're just jealous," Haley gloated.

As Taylor scoffed, Lydia came over and examined her daughter. She looked at the bruises on Haley's leg, the scratches on her arm and the gash on her chin. "You know, there's nothing wrong with having someone to look after you; someone who cares for you."

"I know," Haley said defensively.

"He's sweet," Lydia noted. "You didn't tell me that."

It had taken Haley a while to see that attribute. "He hides it well."

"I bet," Lydia agreed. "Just like someone else I know."

Nathan popped his head in the door. "Hales?"

"I'm coming." Haley left her mother and joined Nathan outside.

Nathan immediately took Haley's hand and they walked down to the street.

"So, that's my crazy family. Brings out the crazy in me, as you can see. I'm surprised you're not running way now."

Nathan dismissively shook his head. "Nah. The Scotts bring a whole new meaning to crazy; clinically insane."

"Don't forget-you've only seen a few of us….but Taylor is the craziest."

"Are they staying here?" Nathan asked nonchalantly.

"Yeah. They each have their own guestroom," Haley said sarcastically.

"So, no?"

"They probably have a hotel room. Honestly, I don't know what's going on. I have to talk to them." Haley smiled as she realized what he was getting at. She reached up and put her arms around his shoulders. "Last night—did you say brought some things to spend the night and left it in your car?"

Nathan grinned. "I did."

"Maybe you should bring it tonight?" Haley asked suggestively.

"I'll leave the deodorant at home," he joked.

Nathan leaned down, put his arms around her and kissed her. He pulled away. "Thanks for sticking up for me back there. I'm not used to that."

"No one, especially not Hurricane Taylor, messes with _my Nathan_," Haley said fervently.

"_Your Nathan_? Is that what you're calling me these days?"

Haley moved her arms around his waist and gave him a fierce hug. "Yup. Your mine."

Nathan picked her up. She put her legs around his waist and secured her arms around his shoulders as he spun her around. "If I'm yours, then I guess you're mine, huh?"

Haley opened her mouth to speak.

Before she could protest, Nathan stopped moving, sealed off her words with a kiss, and started talking again. "What's that? Haley James doesn't belong to anyone?" He asked mocking her inner thoughts. "That's too bad because I'd be lucky if you were mine."

As her heart melted, Haley leaned down and gave him a tender kiss. "Do you need to hear me say it?" She asked.

"No," Nathan honestly replied. "I feel it." And he like he told her, he was a patient guy. She'd say it soon enough.

* * *

><p>Preview of next chapter: "Fallin' for You" (Colbie Caillat)<p>

AN: Next chapter is Naley fun with her family. If you read closely, there is a hint of drama on the way. There may also be some points of confusion; that is intentional. Thanks for reading and reviewing, especially since you have the new season to occupy your minds! I will keep writing nonetheless, as long you keep reading. Deal? Great! I was hit w/ news of a tragedy yesterday and need this coping mechanism! Next week when I attend a wake/funeral for a teenager I worked closely with, I will either go to bed w/migraines or write. So if you don't hear from me, just know that's what's up. Otherwise, you may get some updates. Let's hope for updates…That's a win/win for all of us!


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer #1**: Characters, minor plot points and dialogue belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and _One Tree Hill_ writers.

**Disclaimer #2**: Although my career is in the field of psychology, I have taken a lot of liberties with my story. My background is nothing like Haley's in this story. Her story only has _a little_ basis in reality. I know many people in that field who have given me inspiration for details here and there, but this situation is entirely fictional. Please don't take what you read as fact, especially when it comes to the research discussed and ethics of practicing psychology. As with all my stories, you have to use the suspension of disbelief, just as you do with our favorite tv show. The examples in this story are merely for plot purposes. If you do have questions or concerns about the psychological elements of the story, please feel free to pm. I'd love to discuss!

Chapter 16 "Fallin' for You" (Colbie Caillat)

Haley looked at the pile of new clothes spread out on her bed. She couldn't remember ever buying so many clothes in a single shopping trip. This was partially the result of getting caught up in the spirit of shopping with her mother and sister, but it was also because she had someone special to dress for. Yes, she now understood the desire to want to look your best for someone you cared about.

During their time together, she was grateful that Taylor seemed to ease up on the teasing. She wasn't sure what her mother said to her while they were alone, but she was sure it was something. She knew Taylor was dying to make fun of Haley for acting like they type of lovesick girl she tried so hard not to be for so many years. Whatever. Haley was over it. Taylor could think what she wanted. She just needed to back off of Nathan. She hoped her mother warned her about that as well.

Haley put away her clothes and cleaned up her bedroom. She looked at her bed and smiled brightly. Nathan would be spending the night there again! It sent off a flurry of nervous excitement. She wasn't sure what would happen in that bed, but she did know that she was growing more comfortable with Nathan. She also trusted him. In fact, when it came to self-control, she trusted him more that she did herself. She still couldn't believe how she let him see her naked earlier. That spontaneous move, along with a few others over the past few days, taught Haley some new things about herself. She could not control her emotions as well as she thought….at least when it came to him. Nathan on the other hand, always seemed so calm and confident. She attributed this to his experience with women. It was something she didn't like to think about, but the fact that he had his act together when it came to sexual matters helped put her at ease. Someone had to know what they were doing after all and it sure as hell wasn't her.

Haley went out to the living room to wait for Nathan. He was due over any minute. Her mother and sister were back at their hotel getting ready, but were going to meet them at her place so they could all drive together.

It didn't take long for Haley's impatient side to kick in. She left the couch and went into the kitchen. She began cleaning the kitchen counter. When she heard the knock on the door, Haley put away her cleaning supplies. She sprinted across the living room to answer the door.

"Hey," Haley said breathlessly.

"Hey," Nathan grinned. His smile quickly faded and his throat grew dry as he took in the sight of Haley. She looked stunning in a long, empire waist yellow strapless sundress that flowed down to her ankles. Her hair was piled up on the back of her head with a few soft curls hanging down. She had on a short silver necklace with a bead in the center and dangling earrings. She looked like she stepped off the pages of a fashion magazine. She was like a ray of sunshine that warmed up his heart. "Wow," he said in awe.

Haley smiled. Even though her mother and sister told her the dress was perfect, she didn't believe it until she saw Nathan looking at her like that. God, he was already causing her heart to flutter. Her smile grew wider as she spotted the duffel bag strung over his shoulder. She stepped aside and let him in.

Nathan dropped his duffel bag, shut the door and stopped to give Haley a kiss on the cheek.

Haley saw the funny look on Nathan's face as he pulled away. "What?" She asked self-consciously.

"You smell like Lysol again," he confessed.

"Well, you know, you said you like a clean woman. I hope you meant it!"

"I did. And if you need another place to clean, you can come over to my place anytime."

"Ha, ha." Haley looked at his duffel bag. "So you were serious about that, huh?"

Nathan nodded. "I hope you were. I figured it would be better to actually get it into your place this time."

"Let's put it my bedroom," Haley nodded towards the direction of her room.

Nathan picked up the bag and began to follow her. "Oh, yeah….So your mom doesn't see it….because you wouldn't want her to know that I'll be spending the night," he teased.

"That's why we should take two cars."

"Actually, I thought I'd drive."

Haley gave him a perplexed look over her shoulder. "But your car only seats two."

Nathan scratched the back of his neck. "I brought my Range Rover."

Now in her bedroom, Haley turned around to face him. "You have two cars?"

Nathan shrugged. "It was my dad's car and it's not like he's using it. The same with his bank account, which I also help myself to. It's payback for all the years of misery I had living under the same roof with him. And pretty soon, I'll have my own money to spend," he said confidently. "Maybe I'll even spend some of it on you."

Haley became miffed. "I don't need anything."

"Maybe I do….Like a nice high def flatscreen tv for the living room."

"My tv works just fine!"

Nathan set his bag down on the floor next to her bed. He moved in behind her, put his hands around her waist and looked at her through the reflection in the dresser mirror. "Let me do something nice for you, huh?"

"For you or for me?"

"For both of us. I like spending time here with you….watching movies on that couch."

Haley turned around to face him. His blue eyes were like a calm ocean calling out to her. She couldn't resist his charm anymore. "You taking my mom out; that's the nicest thing you could do for me."

When Haley looked at him like that, it stirred up so many feelings. He was anxious to see if they were on the same page. "You know, Hales, I don't know if you caught this, but your mom said she didn't understand why we didn't have sex last night."

Haley took a step closer to him and pointed her finger at his chest. "You're teasing me."

Nathan put his arms around her and let them slide down to her lower back. He resisted the urge to slide them a little further to her ass. "A little. I'm really testing you."

Haley was confused. "Testing me?"

"Yeah. I was waiting for the disclaimer of the evening."

"What are you talking about?"

"The part where you give me a speech about how we're not going to have sex and you tell me what we can and can't do." He snuck a quick kiss in on her neck. "Did I tell you how sexy you look?"

Haley looked him up and down. He had a pair of black pants and a gray dress shirt. She began to straighten out his collar. "Did I tell you how sexy you look?" She countered.

Nathan ignored her. "I'm still waiting, Hales…."

"I don't know," she sighed. "What's the point of saying those things anyway?"

Nathan straightened up. "Because although I like to tease you, I need to know. I don't want to pressure you. I need to know the line. I don't want you doing something you'll regret—"

Haley looked directly into his eyes. "I don't have any regrets."

"None?" Nathan questioned her.

"No." She moved her hands to the back of his neck. She contemplated telling him how she felt; that she was falling hard and fast for him. She couldn't. She wasn't ready. She wasn't sure how he felt and certainly didn't want to scare him off. "Why don't we see how things go?"

"We could do that," Nathan said slowly. He knew how that would turn out. He also knew she was holding back something from him. He was even confident enough to call her out on it. "Haley, you've got that look."

"What look?"

"The look you get when you want to tell me something but you don't really want to tell me."

Haley pulled away. "No, I don't..." She pointed at him in frustration. "And you shouldn't know that look yet!"

"What is it?"

Haley nuzzled her face into his chest and wrapped her arms tightly around him. "I'm so incredibly attracted to you and I don't know if I can control myself with you," she said glibly. Although it was an effort to hide what she was really feeling, it was also the truth.

Nathan patted her head. "Nice try, but that's not it."

Knowing he wasn't going to give up, Haley shifted gears. She backed away from him. "I could use your advice on something. Let's go wait out there." It was probably best to get out of that bedroom anyway.

Nathan and Haley snuggled up together on the couch in the living room.

"Okay, let's get started," Nathan said sternly. "You ask me a question and I'll answer by asking you another question. Go."

Haley playfully hit him. "That is not what I do."

"Right….It's more like _a conversation_." Nathan pretended to look at his watch. "Okay. Go."

"I have all this work I have to do for my dissertation. Dr. Greene wants it by Tuesday…Well, Monday if I want feedback. I don't know what to do. I got a serious head start yesterday, but I still have a lot left to do."

"And you feel bad about not spending time with your Mom. Taylor doesn't help much either. What is her deal? Do we not like her?"

Haley stifled her smile. She hadn't planned on talking to him about this, but he was already helping her feel better. She shifted her position as she prepared to give him the details. "Taylor and I are complete opposites.—"

"I got that," Nathan chuckled.

"We never got along, but like I said earlier, Taylor doesn't really get along with anyone. So, guess why she's here? Huh? Guess?" Haley asked animatedly.

"I don't know," Nathan said moving slightly back as she leaned into him.

"She's auditioning for…." Haley paused for dramatic effect, "a reality tv show in San Diego!"

Nathan winced as Haley hit him. "Really?"

"Really! She's something else! I knew she had an angle! She got my mom to pay for the trip out here and convinced her to go, so she's got a free hotel room now too! And for one of those trashy shows!"

"What show?" Nathan asked slightly interested.

"Some new 'Big Brother, single, slutty people hooking up to get famous' show!"

"When are they heading out to San Diego?"

"I'm not sure," Haley admitted. "I'm afraid to ask. I'm afraid to tell them about all this work I have to do."

"You have a computer?"

Haley's eyes lit up. Why hadn't she thought of that? She sprung up and retrieved her laptop from her bedroom. As she booted it up, she caught the disgusted look on Nathan's face. "What?"

"How old is that thing?" He leaned over and picked it up to feel its weight. "And how heavy?"

"It works fine," Haley said brushing him away.

"It's slow."'

"It's the internet connection."

"Or it could be the computer."

Nathan leaned over looked at the keyboard just Haley was about to type in her password. She quickly turned the screen away from him and finished typing it in.

"You're trying to hide your password from me? Oh, let me guess…"

"No!" With her luck, he would figure it out.

"What's the big deal?"

"I have the same password for everything."

"I'll make up a new one for you."

Haley gave him a look of annoyance. "That doesn't make any sense."

They sat there quietly as they waited for the computer to get going. As each minute when on, Haley grew more impatient as Nathan sat next to her with that smug look on her face. She hadn't noticed how slow her laptop was until he pointed it out. Now she was going to think about that every time she used it. Two minutes later as she watched the hourglass spin on her internet browser, Haley reached her limit. "So, you think I should say something? Should I pull my mom aside privately? Should I just not tell them and pretend I'm sick? Should I send them off somewhere? Should I wait and see? I mean, Monday night is fine. Dr. Greene doesn't need it early Monday—"

"Haley?"

"What?"

"Google the show."

Haley saw the internet was running. She began typing in searches. It didn't take long to find out that the auditions Taylor was talking about were for Tuesday morning.

"That's good," Nathan said. "They'll probably leave Monday night—maybe earlier since traffic is a killer on the fourth."

"So, I should spend the day with them on Sunday and work on it on Monday?"

Nathan rubbed his chin. "I don't know."

"Why?"

"This work is important, right? I'm not sure you should put it off. What if something goes wrong? Like, what if you decide to run out in front of traffic on Monday afternoon?"

"That's not helpful."

"I think you should tell your mom. Get up early tomorrow morning; put in a good chunk of time and meet up with them in the early afternoon."

"You don't think that would make me a horrible daughter?" Haley asked seriously.

"Letting your mom sleep in and going out to a late breakfast?...No. I would offer to help out but I have a stacked day tomorrow."

"I wouldn't expect you to do that," Haley said slightly embarrassed. This was her mother after all. She was not his responsibility.

Nathan nudged her. "I would do it, Haley…because _I want to_, but I just have these plans. They came up last minute…"

Haley was dying to know what those plans were, but she wasn't going to ask. Instead, she thought over his suggestion. It made sense. "Okay, I'll talk to my mom. I just don't want Taylor around."

"That's fine. I'll sneak off with Taylor. I'll take her on the ferris wheel."

"Don't you dare," Haley said with wide eyes.

Nathan started to laugh. He knew that would get her going.

"I'm serious! You stay away from her! You are not allowed to be alone with her!"

"You'll just have to keep me on a short leash."

"That won't be a problem, puppy dog," Haley cooed as she patted his cheek.

* * *

><p>It was the perfect night to peruse the Santa Monica Pier. The weather was warm, but not hot and there wasn't a cloud in the sky. It would be even more beautiful when the sunset. The smell of salt water filled the air and the sound of distant soft waves added to the sensuous ambiance. The only hindrance was it was crowded on that holiday weekend. Haley didn't even mind that. It allowed her to be close to Nathan who was holding her hand firmly as they walked around with her mother and Taylor on the other side of her.<p>

Dinner had been enjoyable. Even Taylor seemed to have a good time. It might have been because of all the champagne she'd had. Nathan had ordered a bottle, but after their heavy night of drinking the night before, he and Haley only had a glass. That left Taylor to drink most of the bubbly. As they walked around the pier, Haley knew Taylor was buzzed. It was only a matter of time before her sister would get on her nerves.

Nathan lifted up the hand he was holding with Haley and pointed ahead at the ferris wheel at the corner of the pier. "Look there! What do you think?"

"I love ferris wheels!" Taylor exclaimed.

Nathan nudged Haley. "How about you?"

Haley didn't have a choice. She wasn't a big fan of those type of things, but it was in a prime location overlooking the ocean and wasn't about to let Taylor anywhere near Nathan. "Sure."

Nathan looked at Lydia. "How about you, Mom?"

Haley and her mother shared an amused smile. Nathan had started calling her that right away; always in a joking manner, just like he called Haley "Doc." Lydia didn't seem to mind. The two of them had hit it off right away. It made Haley slightly nervous. Everything was going so well….Too well? Was this what being in love was like? Would it last?

In her experience, no. Then again, her emotions were spinning round and round just like that ferris wheel. The intensity was daunting and thrilling at the same time! Whatever happened, it was too late now. She was getting on that ferris wheel with Nathan.

"Sure, Nathan, but you have to let us—"

Before Lydia could finish, Nathan let go of Haley's hand and walked over to the ticket line.

Haley stayed behind with her mother and sister. She put her hands up in frustration. "He keeps doing that."

"What? Paying for everything? What's wrong with that?" Taylor asked incredulously.

Haley ignored her. "Mom, what should I do?"

"I think he's trying real hard to make a good impression. Let him be…just be nice to him."

"I am nice to him!" Haley insisted.

"Have you told him how you feel about him?" Lydia pressed her.

Haley looked down at her feet then over at Nathan. "I don't know how I feel."

"You're not fooling anyone, Haley. It's written all over your face," Lydia said with a slight chuckle.

"You're in love," Taylor said with a mocking smile.

Haley dismissed their thoughts. She couldn't let go of the fact that Nathan was spending so much money on her and her family. "In case you haven't noticed, he has a really big ego. I'm worried that he thinks he needs to do these things."

"That's why you need to tell him how you feel," Lydia said sensibly. "Geez, Haley. Do you have a degree in psychology or what? Give the man some security!"

Taylor crossed her arms and gave Haley a gleeful smile. "I know how you can do that."

"That's not what I'm talking about," Lydia said. "This is new, baby. Just give it some time. Once you're both sure how you feel, he won't need to prove himself so much to you."

Haley nodded. Her mother was right. Even with her years of studying human behavior, she never could seem to grasp the simplest of concepts when it came to her own life. Luckily, her mother was always there to help her figure it out. "I guess it would be easier if I knew how he felt."

Taylor dramatically rolled her eyes. "You're so dense!"

"Shut up! Mom, what do you think?"

"I think," Lydia began, "Nathan's coming right this way!"

Haley turned around and smiled as Nathan held up four tickets.

"What do you think? Can we all fit on one car?" Nathan asked deadpanned.

Haley stared up at Nathan showing her disappointment.

Nathan laughed. He moved behind Haley and pushed her to walk as he leaned down and whispered in her ear. "I'm just kidding. I know you want me all to yourself."

Haley didn't even try to argue back. Watching the sunset with Nathan overlooking the ocean from high up was too important to joke about.

* * *

><p>Five minutes into the ferris wheel ride, Haley was ready to kill Nathan. There was a lot of wait time as each car below emptied out and filled out with a new group. To pass the time, Nathan purposely kept shaking the car and standing up and looking around….all just to get a reaction out of Haley.<p>

Haley stayed firmly planted in her seat as the car jostled back and forth. She reached her hand out and tugged on Nathan's pants. "Nathan, sit down!"

Nathan leaned over the railing and waved at Lydia and Taylor. "Hey, Mom!"

Haley let out an audible gasp as Nathan appeared to stumble.

With his full use of faculties, Nathan spun around and plopped himself down next to Haley. "Come on, Hales. Lighten up. I was just saying hi to your mom."

Haley put her hand over his knee. "I'd rather you stay with me."

Nathan extended his arm around Haley and she cozied up to him. He nuzzled his face into her neck. "Where you scared I was going to fall?"

"A little," Haley softly admitted. Her heart began to race as his lips touched her neck.

Nathan moved his lips to her cheek. "I bet you would have saved me because that's what you always do."

Haley pushed back a little and looked at Nathan with serious eyes. She wanted so badly to tell him how she felt. "Nathan….being with you….is….the best feeling." She closed her eyes and silently chided herself for sound so lame.

Nathan didn't seem to notice. He turned her so her back was towards him, wrapped his arms around her and pulled her back against the seat. They both relaxed as they took in the view.

"Mmmm….This is nice," Nathan said quietly.

"This is nice," Haley agreed. They sat in complete silence for a few minutes taking in the sights around them and enjoying each other's company.

As the car moved up, Nathan pointed up at the sun. "Look. I bet we'll be at the top when the sun sets."

Haley shifted towards him and rested her head on his shoulder and let out a contended sigh. A few minutes later, just as Nathan predicted, they reached the top just as the sun was about to set. They watched as a purple, orange and pink haze stretched across the sky against the backdrop of the sparkling blue ocean. As night began to fall, Haley let out another sigh as Nathan squeezed her arm. "I wish this moment could last forever."

"I know what you mean."

Haley lifted her head up so she could see him. "Do you? Do you have any idea how good this feels?"

Nathan's eyes remained fixed on her as he gave her a slow nod. "Yes."

Haley ran her bottom lip through her teeth as she tried to find the right words. "I love how we don't have to talk and we can just be together." The only other guy she experienced that with was Lucas and it had taken years to get that way. In fact, in some ways she already felt closer to him than to Lucas.

Nathan understood the ease in their relationship. "You help me feel calm. It's that same feeling as when I go and sit on the beach at night."

"I hope it's always like this."

"Me, too." Nathan shifted so he was facing Haley. "Let's do it, Haley."

"Do what?"

"Always try to be like this."

Haley's father automatically popped into her mind. With his death, she learned that moments like this were fleeting. "Nothing lasts forever, Nathan. Life changes—"

Nathan knew this as well. He'd had his own experiences with his father that shaped him. "I said _try_. We can _try_, can't we?"

"What are we trying to do?" Haley asked as she carefully examined him.

"Not forget moments like this….and to have more of them. You….Me…The stillness….The water….The air….." Nathan tucked one of the loose curls behind her ear. "The fire I feel growing inside of me when I look at you. It's funny like that. There's a calmness deep within me, but there's also the fire…"

So, he did feel the same way. "You think we can make this last?" Haley knew she sounded cynical, but she couldn't help it. She'd been that way for so long. It wasn't something you could change overnight.

"Who's to say we can't? Isn't that what you believe? That we can learn to control our emotions?"

"It's not easy."

"I like a challenge."

"I think I'm up for a challenge."

"So, _always_?" Nathan asked as he began to lean in closer.

"Or _forever_," Haley countered.

They both leaned in and sealed their promises with a series of long, open mouth kisses. They only broke apart when the ferris wheel began to spin. They settled back in place, this time taking in the night with all the colorful surrounding lights. It unleashed another flurry of joyous emotions they would add to their slowly growing list of "always and forever" moments they hoped to capture and relieve in both the distant and near future.

* * *

><p>After the ferris wheel, they went on a few more rides, walked around and played a few games. For Haley, her mother, and sister, the highlight was watching Nathan trying to win a prize for Haley by demonstrating how strong he was in a game called "High Striker."<p>

Despite Haley's warning that they made the game look easier than it appeared, Nathan believed it would be a piece of cake. All he had to do was use this large mallet to hit the weight which would send off a signal to the top of the tower to ring the bell. He knew if he used all his strength he could get the signal to the top, especially after watching the pathetic guy who went before him.

Nathan came close to hitting the top of the tower the first time. He handed over a few more dollars and took another swing. He did worse that time! Nathan handed over more money. He gave it more focus, eyeing the weight, taking practice swings and ultimately stepping into his swing. That time, he came dangerously close, but still didn't hit the top. Seven tries later, he had to admit defeat.

As he began to walk away, Haley caught up to him. She put her hand over the center of his back and began to rub it, all the while trying not to laugh at him and his wounded ego. "I told you they rig these games."

"You're right. That thing—the light—is controlled by a computer. It's all a hoax. There's no way you can win."

"That's right," Haley sympathized. She turned around to see where her mother and sister were. They had wandered over towards a palm reader. "Oh, no! Now they're about to get ripped off."

Nathan wasn't surprised Haley was skeptical about psychics. He saw a prime opportunity to get her going. "You don't want to hear about your future?"

"Nathan, those people look for behavioral clues. They look at your clothing, your body language, your facial expressions and they just try and tell you want you want to hear."

"They could have ESP."

"Extrasensory Perception? Scientific studies do not support the existence of ESP. If people really had a sixth sense, it would be provable. Instead—" Haley stopped talking as she saw the trace of a smirk going across Nathan's face. She hit him. "Stop teasing me!"

Nathan laughed, took her hand and they walked over to Lydia and Taylor. By now, the ladies were in line.

Taylor tried to grab Haley's hand to pull her into the line. "Come on, Haley! I bet you have a juicy future in store for you now."

"You know I don't believe in this stuff." Haley looked up at Nathan. "Why don't we head to the beach while they do this?"

"We'll find you when we're done," Lydia promised.

Haley and Nathan took a few steps towards the beach when Nathan stopped her. "Hey, Hales, can we hold off on the beach?"

Haley looked at him, puzzled. "Why?"

Nathan shuffled his feet. "It's crowded…and I still want to take you the place I like to go at some point."

"Okay." Haley looked around to see where else they could go. "Hey! Why don't we check out that jazz band?"

"Jazz?" Nathan asked skeptically.

Haley nodded and pointed. They passed the band setting up when they came in. "It's some kind of Jazz Festival tonight." She could tell he wasn't thrilled with the idea of jazz. "They're following it with fireworks. Let's just check it out."

In the end, Nathan couldn't resist Haley. As they walked over, he started to think about how fast thing were changing….how fast he was changing. Going to listen to jazz? Taking Haley's mom to dinner? Making an effort not to drink too much? Trying so hard not to screw things up? Packing an overnight bag to spend at her place? It was more than maturity. It was something changing from deep within him. Little by little, Haley was changing him. It started with his anger issues, but involved into a hell of a lot more.

He was in love with her and like he said on that ferris wheel, he wanted to make it last. He would do _almost_ anything to keep this going. Lingering at the back of his mind were his doubts. Eventually, he was afraid she'd see right through him….or begrudge him for his past mistakes, especially the one that involved her career. For now, he had to cast all those negative thoughts aside.

This day had been incredible, like nothing else he had ever experience, both with a girl or with a family. As he suspected, Lydia was a warm mother who shared his dry, sarcastic sense of humor. He could see why Haley was so close to her. He was envious of that kind of relationship. It reminded him of Lucas and his mother. It was something he knew he'd never have with his mother. Things were just too complicated between them and although his mom was clean these days, they led very different lives with great physical distance between them.

The sound of jazz filled the air as they approached a tented area. At the far back up on a podium, the ensemble band was playing an instrumental smooth jazz cover of a current hit song led by their saxophonist. Swarms of people were both standing and watching or dancing, both under the red, white and blue lighted tent and just outside of it. As soon as they were close enough, Nathan pulled Haley close to him, took her right hand in his and started to lead her in a dance.

"See?" Haley said happily. "You just had to keep an open mind!"

The song ended and a female singer joined the band. The band picked up the tempo, as they began to play a cover of Nat "King" Cole's "L-O-V-E." Nathan had to watch the people around him to see what to do. He could slow dance, but knew he sucked when it came to anything else. He was desperate to keep Haley from figuring this out.

Haley let Nathan pull her closer to him. She let him take the lead, but before long, she started laughing. He wasn't keeping with the beat at all.

Once it was obvious, Nathan embraced his inability to dance. He started to make a fool of himself, and her by association, as he twirled her around and clasped both of their hands together and moved around. Haley was barely able to keep up as she was close to dying from laughter. By now, Nathan was laughing too as he stopped caring what anyone around them thought. In truth, no one was paying them any attention. There were so many people around and they were all either enjoying the band or dancing themselves. There was just one exception.

"Smile!" Taylor shouted out.

Haley and Nathan looked up to see Lydia and Taylor standing a few feet away. Taylor was holding up her phone trying to snap a picture of them. Nathan took Haley in his arm and dipped her. Haley was laughingly wildly, her hair falling down as Taylor took the picture. Nathan pulled her back up and this time, they both posed with beaming smiles for Taylor's pictures. Later, they would regret getting caught up in the moment and letting Taylor take pictures like that.

* * *

><p>About halfway on the walk to the car, Haley stopped. She tried to get a better grip on the enormous white fluffy teddy bear Nathan had won for her. Sure it was her prize, but it was Nathan's ego that was the real winner. When he saw that basketball shooting game, he knew he had finally found something he could win at. Haley was grateful he was right. She loved seeing him being successful. She wasn't so sure about the teddy bear though. The thing honestly came up to her chest and it was wider than her! She was pretty sure she could use it for a chair if she wanted to! She also had no idea what she was going to do with it. She didn't have room in her small place for such a monstrosity.<p>

Nathan finally gave in and took the teddy bear from Haley. All along he knew it was hard for her to carry, but he loved watching her fighting the urge not to ask for help. It was when he remembered her ankle, he decided enough was enough. He took it off her hands and carried it the rest of the way. When they got to his car, he struggled with fitting it into his trunk, but did finally manage.

After having some light conversation on the way home, Haley started to grow nervous. She still hadn't worked up the courage to talk to her mother. She started to zone out on the conversation her mother and Nathan were having in the front seat of the car.

Nathan shifted his rearview mirror to get a peek at Haley. She was staring out the window chewing on one of her fingernails. He knew exactly what was going through her mind. He finished out his conversation about favorite places in Tree Hill with Lydia, and then attempted to shift the conversation.

"Hey, Haley?" He asked.

Haley looked up. "I've been to the River Court lots of times."

"Wake up, Haley," Lydia said in her usual sarcastic tone. "We were talking about restaurants….and how you used to work at Karen's."

"I was telling your mom I was sorry I didn't go there then. I became a regular after you moved." Nathan again tried to redirect the conversation. "Hales, I was thinking that maybe I'd head right home when we got back to your place."

"What?" Haley's face fell as she showed her devastation. She made eye contact with Nathan in the rearview mirror. She started to ease up when she saw the look in his eyes.

Nathan cleared his throat. "I know you have that project due on Monday. I thought you might need some time to work on it tonight."

Haley tried not smile as both her mother and Taylor looked at her. He was setting things up perfectly for her.

"What project?" Lydia asked.

"It's for Dr. Greene."

"It's for your dissertation, right?" Nathan asked.

Taylor rolled her eyes and went back to fiddling around with her smartphone.

"What is it, Haley?" Lydia asked.

"It's my experimental design and data sheet. Dr. Greene said if I wanted feedback to get it to her on Monday. It's really not due until Tuesday."

"You should get it in on Monday," Nathan strongly advised.

"You can work on it tomorrow morning, can't you?" Lydia asked.

Nathan turned to his left so he could let out the smile he had been holding in.

"What are you doing tomorrow?" Haley asked.

"Sleeping in!" Taylor answered. "Then heading to the pool so I get even out my tan."

"The pool's really nice. Why don't you get your work done then come over?" Lydia looked at Nathan. "You're welcome to join us, too."

As temping as the idea was of seeing Haley in a bathing suit was, he had to pass. "I can't….Besides, I've taken up too much of your time with Haley anyway."

"Haley's more fun with you around," Taylor said pointedly.

"Taylor, you know…." Haley sighed with frustration.

"I really can't," Nathan jumped in. He thought about it some more. He had planned on doing his workout in the morning. He could move things around a little. "I could take you girls out for breakfast while Haley works?"

"No, that's okay, Nathan. You've done enough for us," Lydia said.

"The hotel has a great breakfast spread anyway," Taylor added.

Lydia turned back to Haley. "Just do what you need to then, call us."

"When are you ladies leaving?" Nathan asked.

"We haven't agreed on that yet," Lydia said drolly.

"I want to leave tomorrow. I don't want to deal with traveling on Monday. I need at my best for Tuesday," Taylor said flipping her hair.

"We came here to see Haley," Lydia reminded her.

They arrived at Haley's apartment and everyone got out of the car. Nathan exchanged a heartfelt hug goodbye with Lydia followed with an awkward, brief hug with Taylor. He left Haley to say goodbye to her family as he tackled on taking the bear up to Haley's apartment. He had just arrived at her door when Haley caught up to him.

"So you decided to stay after all, huh?" She teased him. She bounced up and down on her toes as she excitedly opened up the door to her place.

"I'm staying….unless you kick me out," Nathan said as he put the teddy bear down.

Haley pointed at him. "Don't give me a reason to."

"I won't," Nathan said earnestly. He brushed past Haley and headed towards her bedroom.

Haley curiously followed him, not understanding what he was doing. She was all wound up and anxious to have some fun with him. She watched in shock as he grabbed his duffel bag and headed for the bathroom.

"I'm getting ready for bed," he said over his shoulder.

He was getting ready for bed? They were going to bed? For real or was he just teasing her?

Haley went back out to the living room and brought the teddy bear to her bedroom. The only place she had room for it was in the far corner. Even then, you had to step over it to walk around her bed. She was trying to think of other possibilities when Nathan came out of the bathroom. He had on a pair of boxers and a t-shirt. A t-shirt? That wasn't a good sign.

Nathan put his duffel bag down in front of Haley's closet. "Your turn."

So she was supposed to get ready for bed too? She spent a minute taking off her jewelry and letting down her hair before she grabbed her nightgown and headed into the bathroom.

When she came back out, she found Nathan in bed under the covers with his hands behind his head. He appeared to be deep in thought. She stood in the doorway and hesitated.

Nathan finally looked up at her. She had on a blue sleeveless nightgown that fell down to her knees. The top and bottom were outlined with ivory lace. He could tell she had no idea how sexy she looked in that simple article of clothing. He was in serious trouble.

Haley put her hand to light switch. "Should I turn off the lights?"

"Yeah."

Haley took this as a sign they were going to sleep. She climbed around her bed, stepped over the bear and got into bed. Her bed was so small that right away her body came into contact with Nathan's. They both jerked as if shocked with electricity.

Haley moved fully on her side and looked over at him. He was still flat on his back. She wanted to touch him, but held back. As sexual tension filled the air, she grew uneasy. This was starting to kill her. She had to know and it required being blunt. "Nathan?"

"Yes?" Nathan asked his voice slightly cracking.

"Are we going to sleep now?"

Nathan closed his eyes, unable to look at Haley. He swallowed hard. "Do you want to?"

When she didn't answer, he forced his eyes open. She had moved closer to him. They were the closest they could be without touching. She was giving him that look….the one that drove him crazy. He felt his entire body heating up. Yeah, he was in trouble. _Again._

* * *

><p>Preview of next chapter: "Heaven" (The Fire Theft)<p>

AN: Sorry it took so long to post this chapter! I am falling a little behind. So what do you think Naley's next step should be? Just curious!

Thanks for all the offers of support offered my way. This tragedy will haunt me until I can find a way to let go of it. In the meantime, you may see a decline in my writing. It's not from lack of effort, but from lack of focus. I wasn't happy w/this chapter, but I'm as ready as I'm going to be to post it. Hopefully you can overlook the poor writing in exchange for getting an update! Thanks for reading and I'd love to hear your thoughts about where Naley should head next!


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer #1**: Characters, minor plot points and dialogue belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and _One Tree Hill_ writers.

**Disclaimer #2**: Although my career is in the field of psychology, I have taken a lot of liberties with my story. My background is nothing like Haley's in this story. Her story only has _a little_ basis in reality. I know many people in that field who have given me inspiration for details here and there, but this situation is entirely fictional. Please don't take what you read as fact, especially when it comes to the research discussed and ethics of practicing psychology. As with all my stories, you have to use the suspension of disbelief, just as you do with our favorite tv show. The examples in this story are merely for plot purposes. If you do have questions or concerns about the psychological elements of the story, please feel free to pm. I'd love to discuss!

Chapter 17: "Heaven" (The Fire Theft)

Haley kept pressed up Nathan's side and moved her hand under his shirt. "No. I'm not ready to go to sleep."

Nathan began taking heavy, staggered breaths. He had to keep control tonight. Last night, it was the sedated feeling of alcohol that kept his sexual urges in check. Tonight, he didn't have that in him.

When Nathan didn't respond to her, Haley began to get discouraged. She started to pull her hand away. "It's okay if you are.—"

Nathan clasped his hand over hers just before she pulled it away. He pushed it back up to the middle of his chest. "I'm not tired."

Haley moved over some more so that she was partially on top of him. She moved her hand all the way up to his shoulder and hovered above him as she examined his face. She looked into his darkened blue eyes, then down to his lips and back up to his eyes. She tried to read him. He was just so serious. Maybe nervous too? But if she wasn't mistaken, there was also lust in those eyes. Anxious to see if she was right, Haley lowered herself over him and started to kiss him.

As soon as their lips touched, Nathan's self-control began to dissipate. He returned her efforts with equal enthusiasm as he moved one hand to her back and the other down her side. Their kisses increased in intensity, further fueling their desires.

Haley couldn't get enough of Nathan and she soon saw her position wasn't helping…and neither was his t-shirt. She pulled away from their kisses and pushed Nathan's shirt up as far as she could. She quickly moved her lips to the base of his chest and began planting upward kisses. She was forced to sit up as Nathan started to take off his shirt. He cast it on the floor and looked back at her still with those serious, lustful eyes. Haley smiled and returned to kissing his body. It was burning hot to her sensitive, soft lips, but it felt so good. The more she kissed him, the more she craved him and his finely chiseled body. When her lips reached his broad shoulders, she moved her body on top of his. A surge of heat started to pool in her center as she felt his hardness against her leg. She repositioned herself so it was at her center. With that burst of energy from that touch, she put her hands on his shoulders and began frantically kiss him.

Nathan moved his hands down her back to her ass as he returned her kisses. Unable to help himself, he pushed her nightgown up, giving him better access to her curves. He moved his hands on the sides of her panties, over to her ass and back to her sides. God, he appreciated those curves.

As Haley felt Nathan touching her, she stopped kissing him and let out a soft moan. Her body went into overdrive for a moment as it grinded up against his. When his hardness came into direct contact with her center, they simultaneously groaned.

Nathan was convinced before long his boxers and her panties were going to be shifted, giving them both the touch their bodies were craving. He needed his condom close by. "Hales, should I get my wallet?"

Haley knew it was time to change things up. She wasn't quite ready for that. She still had something to prove to herself….that she could have control over her body when it came to him. "No. I just want to have a little fun. I want to try something…"

That didn't convince Nathan at all that things were going to cool down. Her use of the word "little" had proven to have exponential possibilities for them. Then, Haley started to do something completely unexpected. She reached down and started to feel his member as she pressed her face into his neck. Next, she began kissing him, as she moved her hand inside his boxers. She hesitated for a moment before she felt his hardness.

"Oh, God," Nathan gritted out. Her hand was small and her skin was soft. Her gentle touches left him aching with the need for more. To his relief, she began pumping his hardness as her hand moved from his base to its top. At the same time, she started to work his way down his body. He helped her by pushing the covers down. Her kisses moved down his neck, over his collarbone and down his chest. When they reached his stomach, he automatically lifted his lower half up.

Haley understood what to do. She pushed his boxers down to his knees. She looked at his fully erect member and back up at him. He was so big, but that wasn't the only thing concerning her. She knew it was time to be honest and she felt comfortable enough with him to do that. "Nathan, I haven't done this before."

Nathan's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "No? Well…uh, you don't have to." He put his hand on his chest. "Come back up here."

Haley shook her head. She could feel the wetness between her legs as she stared at the lower half of his body. This was too enticing. "I want to. I just wanted you to know….because I don't really know what I'm doing."

"Haley," Nathan said overwhelmed. She was so innocent. It left him with mixed emotions. He was desperate for her take charge, but also knew it was big step for her. In a way….in that way, he was going to be her first. He knew she considered this sex….and her need to be sure the next time she was intimate, that it was worth it. As she went to do this, she was consciously that call; _he was worth it_. He couldn't downplay those things. But was he worth it? He wasn't sure. "You don't have to—Oh, yeah." Haley lips moved over the tip of his member. Nathan closed his eyes and took hold of the sheets beside him. If she believed he was worth it, there was only one thing he could do….He would have to live up to that.

* * *

><p>Nathan was waiting for Haley as she came out of the bathroom. He was standing across the hall in her bedroom doorway. As the door opened, she paused when she saw him. She looked down at her feet, then back up and gave him a sheepish smile.<p>

Nathan took a few steps forward, put his hands around her waist and pulled her to him. He kissed the top of her head, still amazed at how this petite, naïve beauty had brought him such pleasure. He said silently said the words in his head, he still couldn't bring himself to say aloud…_I love you, Haley James_. He felt it through every inch of his body. He didn't want to say it after an experience like that. Instead, he offered up what he believed would be the next best thing. He kissed her cheek and brought his mouth to her ear. "Your turn next."

Haley's body stiffened as a chill went down her spine. She let Nathan brushed past her and head into the bathroom. She slowly crossed the hall and climbed back into bed…moving as far as she could to the side that was becoming "her side."

She thought about her intimate experience with Nathan. It wasn't as bad as she expected. Once she adjusted the taste and feel of him in her mouth, she figured out what to do. It wasn't that hard. All she had to do was pay close attention to Nathan. From his movements and noises, she could tell when she doing something right. It really was just like any other type of intimacy….from going on date, to kissing, to spending quality time together. It was a learning process to figure out how the other person ticked and what they liked. She was grateful these things came so easily, so naturally, with Nathan. In the end, he'd given himself over completely to her and it left her feeling proud. The question was, could she do the same with him? She knew he was expecting that when he came back. She laid there a bundle of nerves waiting for his return.

Nathan got back into bed and looked curiously at Haley. "I guess I have to come over here, huh?" He pushed over to her side of the bed. He could tell she was nervous. He knew he was going to have to use some serious charm to get her to relax.

As they faced each other, both on their sides, the sexual tension between them returned. They intertwined their arms through each other's and held on to each other as they began to kiss. Things quickly escalated as their tongues crossed and their hands shifted. When Haley felt Nathan hands moving up her nightgown, her nerves returned.

Nathan could feel Haley tense up. He kept his hand hovering around her pantyline. "Is this okay? Can I touch you like this?"

"You don't have to," Haley said uneasily.

Nathan chuckled. "I don't have to? It's not doctor's orders?"

"You don't have to do this, just because of what I did."

"You're so wrong," Nathan said assuredly. "First of all, I've been dying to touch you. I want to make you feel good…..really, really good, especially after what you did. If you don't want me to, that's fine. I'll just be holding back because of you."

"I'm kind of scared. I've never had someone do that to me before."

"No? Geez, Haley! What kinds of guys have you been with?"

"Not many; you know that. But it's my fault….I'm so closed off."

Nathan shook his head. "I don't see that.…Do you feel that way? When you're with me?"

"No," Haley softly admitted. "I trust you. I'm just not sure if I trust myself."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know." There was something holding her back. She couldn't bring herself to say the things she feeling. She didn't know what it all meant.

Nathan gave her a soft kiss. "Then, trust me. Trust me to take care of you….and trust me to stop if you want me to." It was so important to him that she trusted him in that way.

Haley responded with a kiss. She cleared her mind and gave in to the passion she felt whenever Nathan touched her body. She put one hand on his back and the other on the back of his head and pulled him towards her. She kissed him as fiercely as she could.

Nathan had to work hard to keep his own impulses in check as he revved Haley up. As he continued to kiss her, he pushed one hand up her nightgown, as he used the other to fondle her breast. To his relief, Haley responded just as he hoped; she grabbed on tighter to him as she lifted her body. Nathan lowered his second hand and shifted her panties down. He gave her a minute to reconsider as he started suckling her neck. Haley responded with heavy breaths as rubbed his back. When one of her hands started to move off his back and down towards his hardened member, Nathan knew he had to get moving.

He started working his way down her center, around the nightgown bunched up just over her chest. He took his time to lay kisses that were wetted by circles of his tongue. Each time his mouth moved to a new area, Haley's body responded with either a twitch or a moan. When reached her pelvic area, he looked up and made eye contact. Haley's lustful eyes gave him the approval he was looking for.

Once he had that, he reached down and tested her out with his fingers. His membered hardened when he felt how wet she was. As he started to feel her out, he watched her. She was already writhing in pleasure and moaning. This was too easy. He sped up his movements and shifted his position. To his surprise, she came quickly; quicker than he anticipated. His confidence began to return; he could do this. He could restrain himself and satisfy her the way she deserved.

Haley had barely come down from that high when Nathan's head moved under the covers and down to her center. Her eyes flew open when she felt his mouth….then again when she felt his tongue….She had never felt anything like it and she already craved more of him. At first, he explored her, just as she had him. Haley squirmed with anticipation as he took his time doing this. Then, his tongued started to move….it went deeper and deeper into her. She felt his hands grip her inner thighs and spread her out as he buried his face deep into her center.

Before long, Haley literally starting crying out. Her body began to twist and shake. The explosion came not longer after that, with her screaming his name.

Haley struggled to regain her breath as Nathan sat up. He gave her a self-satisfied smirk. Haley didn't mind; he earned that. When her breathing rate returned to normal, Nathan gently pushed back up her panties and laid a few kisses on her stomach. After, he covered her up with her nightgown. He crawled to her side, pulled up the covers and laid his head by her chest. When he looked at her, his blazing blue eyes spoke volumes. This was a new kind of intimacy for both of them. Haley could feel it deep in her heart. They were bonded more deeply by the way they had just opened up to each other. She knew this was the way it was supposed to be.

No words needed to be exchanged. Nathan lifted up and shared a single long kiss with Haley before resting his head back against her body. As Haley ran her hand loving through his hair, he drifted off to sleep. Haley stayed awake for a bit longer, savoring all the wonderful new feelings this love was bringing her way.

* * *

><p>Nathan was vaguely aware of them shifting positions as they slept. He wasn't sure how that happened since he normally didn't shuffle around in his sleep. It was getting to sleep that was the difficult part for him. Once he achieved that, he was typically dead to the world.<p>

Sleeping with Haley had changed that. In just the few nights he fallen asleep with her, sleep had come easy. Apparently, she was changing his sleeping habits though. Every time he woke up, he was in a new position. She was truly changing everything about him.

With Haley now nestled into the crux of his shoulder, he absentmindedly ran his hand along her back. In the same fashion, the word fell out of his mouth, "I love you, Hales."

Nathan's eyes flew open as his own voice fully awakened him. His heart started beating rapidly. It was so loud, he was sure it would wake Haley….if she wasn't awake yet. Nathan stayed as still as possible and tried to figure out if the sleeping beauty in his arms was indeed still sleeping. After a couple of minutes lying there, practically holding his breath and praying for his heart to calm down, he came to the conclusion she was.

So, she hadn't heard him? He was sure he said it aloud….and if she heard that, he would think she would stir in some way. It had certainly had a dramatic effect on his body. Why? Why did those words cause such a visceral reaction?

He wasn't ready for her to hear it. He wasn't ready to head down that murky road. He was scared; scared of so many things. Hurting her….getting hurt—again. Only this time, he was sure he would get hurt much worse. In the short time he'd been with Haley, he felt things on a much deeper level than with Rachel. This kind of relationship was so new to him….all of it was new. Hell, he'd never even met Rachel's parents and here he was desperate to win over Haley's mom, knowing it was one of the keys to Haley's heart. It was just one of them. He knew there were more, since it was clear his feelings for her were stronger than hers were for him.

Things were moving fast. He knew on some level, they both tried to slow them down. They tried not to speak outside of therapy. Once that fell by the wayside, they tried not to get intimate too quickly. Now, that was gone. All along, they purposely kept Lucas from knowing about what was going on between them. Once he knew, that would add a whole new dynamic between them and for better or worse, and neither was quite ready to see which way that would go.

Nathan went back to what he was sure of. He loved Haley. He was in love with her. It was a new feeling. He didn't know how to handle it. If the feeling was mutual at some point, it should mean a committed relationship was on the horizon. In fact, where they already there? Was he her boyfriend? Did she want him to be her boyfriend? Her actions that night, indicated she did; it was one of her mother's rules. Then again, he knew Haley didn't always follow her mother's rules.

What about him? Did he want a girlfriend? Not really. He knew what that meant. It meant constant communication and being supportive and attentive to the girl's needs. It would be a dramatic change in his lifestyle; that was for sure. He couldn't do what he wanted, when he wanted. He would have to "check in" all of the time. He couldn't make plans on his own. He would probably have plans made for him; lot of "couples" things. He probably wouldn't be alone much. He couldn't just go out with the guys. All of these things came with those dreaded labels of boyfriend and girlfriend. And not to mention, his career was just about to take off. He was about to achieve his life-long dream. He did not need the distraction and stress of having a girlfriend.

But Haley as his girlfriend? Well, for some reason that was different.

* * *

><p>Haley woke up to find Nathan gone from the bed. She got out of bed and went into the living room. She found him sitting on the couch, dressed in a pair of gym shorts and sleeveless shirt, putting on his sneakers. She relaxed. It looked like he was going to go out for a run. She looked at the clock and was shocked to see it was only six a.m. "Hey! You're up early."<p>

Nathan stood up and sighed. "Yeah." He grabbed his duffel bag and slung it over his shoulder.

Haley's heart dropped. So he was leaving? Was he going to leave without saying goodbye?

Nathan could read Haley's disappointment. It really would have been easier if he had snuck out unnoticed. He just needed the day to think about things. He needed a break and considering his plans for the night, it was ripe for just that. Besides, Haley should be spending some alone time with her family, anyway. He just wished he didn't have to leave her this; she looked so unhappy. He walked over and gently rubbed her shoulder. "I'm going to take off. I know you have work to do. I'll talk to you later, okay?"

Haley weakly nodded. She let him kiss her cheek and stayed in placed as he headed out the door. Later? What did that mean? What had just happened? Did he really leave her like that after what they shared last night? Had it scared him off?

Haley went into the bathroom. A smile washed over her face. All of Nathan's toiletries were left behind. They were lined up on her counter. Being the neatfreak she was, she quickly set about finding a home for them. He was going to be back; she was sure of it. She just wasn't sure when.

* * *

><p>Haley walked into the hotel lobby and found her mother waiting for her. They exchanged hugs and headed out to the pool deck. Taylor was lying on her stomach on a longue chair. She barely looked up as Lydia and Haley joined her. As Haley stripped down to her bathing suit, a conservative one piece that still showed off her curves, she looked in dismay at her sister. Taylor had on a string bikini that left little to the imagination. Her already perfectly tanned body glistened with oil. Haley put on an extra coat of sunblock as she looked her sister. They really couldn't be more different.<p>

Haley got settled on her lounge chair and looked at her mother. Lydia had on her bathing suit coverup, a straw hat and sunglasses. Haley smiled at her. She loved to think that someday she would turn out just like her mother. Her only concern was that according to Quinn, her mother claimed she was like Taylor when she was younger. As Haley looked at Taylor, then back at her mother, she couldn't imagine it. Could someone really change that much? Could she change like that too? At some point could she be more like her sister? They did come from the same gene pool and were raised by the same parents. It was possible she had some of Taylor in her. Haley shuddered at the thought.

Haley was starting to second guess herself a lot these days. She was second guessing a lot of things. Most of this started when she met Nathan. As she sat by the pool her thoughts went to him. He was consuming a lot of her thoughts these days. Was it too much? Was it a distraction from her work? How could he be when he was inadvertently helping her with it? Still, he was taking up a lot of her time. It was time that probably would be otherwise be devoted to her work. Did she want that? She had once promised herself she would never let a guy come between her and her work. Was that happening?

What was happening with them? Was he her boyfriend? More importantly, did she want him to be her boyfriend? Haley let out an enormous sigh as she contemplated those questions.

Lydia sat up and pushed down her sunglasses. "What's up, Haley Bob?"

"Nothing."

"Is that what you're calling Nathan these days?"

Haley let out another sigh. "I can't tell him how I feel….and I'm not sure I want to."

"Is it because you're his therapist?" Lydia asked causally.

Haley stared at her mother. That was it. The ethical dilemma she brushed away was what was holding her back. It was back to that again. It was eerie how well her mother knew her. She looked down and shook her head, grateful she had her mother there to figure out these things for her. "What I'm doing is wrong, Mom."

"You mean falling in love? Haley, I know you want to believe otherwise, but I think you're starting to see you can't help who fall in love with. This is an important life lesson for you."

Haley nodded and looked up at her mother. "I am in love with him."

"And he's love with you."

"And what if this all blows up in my face? Or in his face? This could be bad for both of our careers."

"I know this is not what you want to hear, but it's a conversation you need to have-and sooner rather than later. If he's worth it to you, you need to do that."

"I guess I want to have that figured it out before I talk to him."

Lydia put back on her sunglasses and leaned back in her chair. "Maybe you're not sure if Nathan's the right guy," she said with a dismissive wave of her hand.

"Oh, no, Mom," Haley said quickly. "I can safely rule that out. I can't breathe when I'm around him….and when I'm not around him, I want to be. I'm just totally in love with him." As soon as the words were out of her mouth, Haley realized her mother had been baiting her.

"Well, then," Lydia said giving Haley a smug smile. "If he's the one, you'll figure it out. That kind of love will demand it."

Haley understood. He was worth it…all of it….taking the risk of having that difficult conversation….rethinking her life….having more than just career goals….having a boyfriend. Now, she just had to tell him.

"Oh, by the way," Lydia said nonchalantly, "you should see what Nathan is up to tonight. Taylor and I are taking off after dinner."

"Mom, please don't do that. I want to spend time with you."

Lydia shook her head adamantly and gave her daughter a warm smile. "I came here because I know this holiday is tough for you. I wanted to be sure you were okay. Now, I know you are. Go and be with the boy you want to be around all of the time. Be with the boy you're in love with. And know that your father would approve. Deep down he was always a sucker for romance."

Haley felt a lump forming in her throat as she thought about her father. It was so sad to think about how he would never get to meet Nathan and Nathan would never get to meet him. "You think he would like him, Mom?"

Lydia sprang up and took off her sunglasses and showed Haley her watery eyes. "You father would like any man that makes you happy."

Haley nodded as her eyes filled with tears. "I feel kind of guilty for being happy."

"Don't," Lydia said sternly. "You daddy loved your smile and I've seen that smile on you-more yesterday than in the past two years. Keep smiling, baby girl. I know that's what he would want."

"I don't know what I would do without you, Mom," Haley choked out.

"Oh, stop it," Lydia insisted. "You just start thinking about when you want to start giving me some more grandbabies."

"Mom!" Haley yelled.

Lydia laughed. "Oh, those blue eyes, Haley," said wistfully. "Those blue eyes are going to give me some grandbabies, I just know it."

Haley looked at her mother with disdain. She hated it when she got on her case about that. She did already have grandchildren after all. Why did she need more from Haley? And why didn't she get on Taylor's case? She never put pressure on Quinn either. What was it about her? "You're wrong about that, Mom. This is something Nathan and I are on the same page about."

Lydia shrugged unconvinced. "We'll see."

* * *

><p>Nathan walked into the club and was quickly swarmed by a group of guys. Leading the pack was his friend from high school, Jake Jagielski. Jake was an aspiring musician who struggled to make a living at his passion. He lived in Savannah, and it was rare that the two men had a chance to see each other. "Hey, man! Good to see you. Glad you called."<p>

"Last minute thing," Jake smiled. "A guy dropped out of this gig and I got the call."

"Yeah," Tim interjected pushing his way in between the two men. "Last minute with me, too."

Nathan and Jake exchanged irritated looks, then looked back at Tim Smith. Tim was notorious for inviting himself to group gatherings like this.

"How did this happen?" Nathan asked Jake.

"I heard Jake got this gig," Tim started to explain, "and next thing I knew I was on standby."

Jake leaned in to Nathan. "I didn't tell him. He just finds out these things," he whispered.

Nathan nodded understanding. If he had to guess, Tim found out through the internet. Anything that was posted online, Tim seemed to know. It was as if he spent his days doing online stalking. This time, Nathan asked the question more clearly. "How about you, Jake?"

"My buddy hooked me up." Jake gestured behind him and a scrawny guy with spiked hair and a smarmy smile stepped forward. "Chris Keller, meet Nathan Scott. Nate's an old buddy of mine from Tree Hill. Chris and I played a few gigs together and he called me when this spot opened up."

Chris smiled brightly at he and Nathan shook hands. "Yeah, Chris Keller likes to take care of his friends. How about you, Nathan? Do you take care of your friends?"

Nathan took a step back. Now, he had both Tim and this tool invading his personal space. And what the hell was he talking about?

Chris took a step towards Nathan and leaned in close. "I know you're from the area and Jake told me you were a ladies magnet. I bet you have some hot girls you could hook us up with, right? " Chris took a step back and surveyed the room, unsatisfied with what he saw. "Make some calls, huh? Bring in the ladies."

As Chris walked away, Jake let out a nervous laughter. "Yeah, he's a character, huh?"

Nathan shook his head. "You must be hard up for gigs, huh?"

"He's actually a really good musician," Jake said.

"He is," Tim agreed. "That's why I had to come." He put his hands on both Jake and Nathan's shoulders. "Once I figured out three of you would be in the same place, it was like a perfect storm."

Nathan brushed Tim's hand away. He crossed his arms and stared Tim down. "Name one song Chris Keller sings."

"Uh….There's….uh….a couple of good ones," Tim stammered. He looked around the place and let his eyes settle on the bar. "Hey! Why don't I grab you guys a drink?" Not waiting for an answer, Tim headed off towards the bar.

Nathan and Jake laughed knowing they at least they were getting a free round of drinks from deal. Jake introduced Nathan to some of the other guys around them and they all chatted for a while.

After short while, some people came in that Nathan knew. Nathan prepared to let loose. This was the guy's night out he was looking for. In the back of his mind, he knew it might the last one he'd have if things worked out like the thought they would. He tried not to think about that. His primary goal for the night was not to think about that. It was his night off from Haley and all the confusing thoughts running around his head.

Rounds of drinks started to be exchanged. Nathan was sure to keep up with his counterparts, consuming shot after shot. The only one holding back was Jake, who was due to perform. Once Jake started to perform his set, Tim took the opportunity to steal his seat next to Nathan.

Nathan turned his attention back to his drink. Tim was really wearing on his nerves. Both he and this Chris Keller guy were all over Nathan about the ladies. Nathan made up some lame excuse about everyone being away for the holidays, but that wasn't good enough. Now both guys were trying to use him as their wingman. It didn't help that there were several attractive ladies in the bar checking him out and Tim was all over that.

"Dude, why do you keep checking your phone? Tell me you don't have a girlfriend!" Tim said huffily.

Nathan shoved his phone back in his pocket. He didn't realize he'd been checking it so much. "No," he scoffed. "It's Luke. He's been on my ass lately."

"Why isn't he here?" Tim asked.

"I'm not sure," Nathan said honestly. "I haven't heard from him today. It's kind of weird." But he did know Jake invited him. Jake told him Luke firmly turned down the invite but in turn invited him to his Fourth of July cookout. Jake was going to do his best to make it, but he had another gig that night.

"Mmmm," Tim said licking his lips and looking across the room. "That blonde with the massive rack is digging you. Tell me you don't want get your freak on with that!"

Nathan sighed and pulled out his phone again. "Tim, cool it down. You're way too obvious. You're never going to get far playing it like that."

Tim leaned back and nodded. "So, we're playing hard to get, huh? I can dig it."

Nathan rolled his eyes. He was grateful when Jake finished his set and rejoined them. He was even more grateful when Jake convinced Tim to go talk to that chesty blonde. The two guys sat back, watching from afar as Tim went to make a fool of himself.

Jake took a swig from his beer as he started to relax. "So, how are things going for you?"

"Good. I'm gearing up for tryouts. My agent, Clay, says they want me, but there is some competition for the spot."

"You'll kill it," Jake assured him. He looked at the phone Nathan was now holding in his hand. "You expecting a call? Have plans?"

Nathan put his phone out on the table in plain sight. Despite his better efforts to not think about Haley, his stomach was in knots. He decided to level with Jake…well, sort of. "Hey, you know who I've been talking to lately? A girl from Tree Hill. Haley James. You know her?"

"Yeah," Jake said excitedly. "She was tight with Luke! I knew her from him. I think she tutored too, right?"

Nathan nodded. "Yeah. She lives in the area. I didn't know her in high school, but we've met up recently."

"Oh, yeah?" Jake asked suggestively. "Is it serious?"

"No," Nathan said dismissively. "It's cool. We're just friends."

Jake pointed at Nathan's phone. "Hey, why don't you call her? I haven't seen her in a while. She's a real nice girl. I'd love to see her."

Nathan grinned. "Yeah, that's a great idea. Let me see what she's up to."

* * *

><p>Haley got out of her car and headed toward the bar. Along the way, she had to talk herself into taking each step.<p>

She told herself taking Nathan up on this last minute invitation did not make her seem desperate. He had called her and had no idea she was sitting with the phone in her hand ready to go at a moment's notice.

She told herself that it wasn't like she was getting any productive work done at home anyway. Her mother and sister had left hours ago and all she was left to do was think about Nathan. She had wondered what he was doing…if he was going to call...all things she hated about longing after a guy.

Lastly, Haley told herself she looked good. She hadn't overdone it. The heels….the skirt….the top showing a hint of cleavage…It was all a new outfit and since she bought it, she was obligated to wear it at some point.

As Haley spotted the club, a trendy hotspot she'd never been to before, her nerves won out. Walking into a club alone like this, was out of her comfort zone. She hoped it wouldn't take her too long to find Nathan.

Luckily, his height helped her out. Once inside, she spotted him at the bar. He was in the process of accepting some drinks from the bartender. Haley headed towards him. She slowed down when she saw what was happening. Eventually, just a few feet away, she just stopped and stared.

Nathan leaned towards a chesty blonde, wearing a tight skirt, boots and mid-drift. He put his hand on her arm and whispered something into her ear. It must have been some joke, because the blonde started to laugh wildly. Nathan gave her his trademark smirk and handed her one of the drinks. The blonde took sip, and gave him a flirty smile. She purred up against him and Nathan's smile grew winder, his eyes focused solely on her massive breasts.

Suddenly, he looked up. As they locked eyes, Haley turned on her heels. She ran smack into a spikey hair guy.

"Well, well…Let me guess…You know Nathan Scott. You must be one of ladies he called in for tonight."

Haley was speechless. The guy moved to her side and put his arm around her shoulders.

"Since Nate seems to be otherwise engaged, let me get you a drink. I'm at the VIP table over this way. The name is Chris Keller, by the way. Maybe you've heard of me? I'm headlining this gig tonight…."

* * *

><p>Preview of next chapter: "Rolling in the Deep" (Adele)<p>

AN: As you can tell, the next chapter has some drama. It's minor drama compared to what's up ahead. Thanks for reading! Also, I appreciate all the reviews, advice and support. OTH has the kindness, most loyal fans….I will pay you back w/lots of Naleyness….eventually!


	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer #1**: Characters, minor plot points and dialogue belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and _One Tree Hill_ writers.

**Disclaimer #2**: Although my career is in the field of psychology, I have taken a lot of liberties with my story. My background is nothing like Haley's in this story. Her story only has _a little_ basis in reality. I know many people in that field who have given me inspiration for details here and there, but this situation is entirely fictional. Please don't take what you read as fact, especially when it comes to the research discussed and ethics of practicing psychology. As with all my stories, you have to use the suspension of disbelief, just as you do with our favorite tv show. The examples in this story are merely for plot purposes. If you do have questions or concerns about the psychological elements of the story, please feel free to pm. I'd love to discuss!

Chapter 18: "Rolling in the Deep" (Adele)

Nathan was ordering his drink when the chesty blonde who had been eyeing him all night appeared by his side.

"You owe me a drink," she purred into his ear.

Nathan gave her a beaming smile. He couldn't help it. This kind of exchange was second nature for him. His eyes darted to her massive chest. Tim was right about one thing. God, she had a good rack. He forced his eyes back to hers. "And why is that?"

"For sending that loser over to talk to me," she said with a dramatic roll of her eyes and nod towards Tim.

Nathan laughed. He got the bartender's attention and ordered another drink.

When he got his drinks, he turned back around, and leaned towards the blond. He whispered into her ear, "Sorry for Tim. He's cost me a lot of drinks over the years; a lot of girls, too. I got you a double."

The blonde started to laugh wildly as he handed her the drink. She took sip and gave him a flirty smile as she brushed up against him. His eyes went back to those massive breasts.

Suddenly, he got a sinking feeling in his chest. He could feel a set of eyes burning into him. He slowly looked up. Just what he thought. Haley was a few feet away staring right back at him. Even worse, she looked amazing. She was easily the sexiest woman in that room…and he was sure of that. He'd spent all night with Tim and Chris to pointing each one of them out.

Nathan left the blonde's side and started chasing after Haley. He called after her. It was no use. Chris had his arm around her and was leading her across the club.

He finally caught up to them when they took seats next to Jake and Tim.

Jake stood up and went over and gave Haley a hug. Nathan winced as he heard Jake greet her.

"Hey, Hales! Nathan told me you two were friends. I made him call you up to get you down here!"

Haley pulled away and gave Jake a giant smile. "It's been too long."

Nathan was forced to stand idly there and watch as Haley took a seat next to Jake. They quickly immersed themselves in a deep conversation. He was sure she knew he was there and putting on this enormous efforts just to avoid looking at him.

He came to the conclusion he was screwed.

Tim pushed up next to him. "Hey, she's from Tree Hill? I don't remember her."

"That's because she was smarter than us…..and she transferred."

"Too bad," Tim said eyeing her up and down. "She's smoking. Everything you touch turns to gold, huh?"

Nathan gave Tim a disgusted look. "Knock it off."

Tim moved towards Jake and Haley. He inserted himself between them and extended his hand to Haley. "Hey, I'm Tim. I was just telling Nate it's too bad you moved away from Tree Hill. You might not know this, but even though I had the reputation of a ladies man, I had a soft spot for nerds."

Nathan reached over, grabbed Tim by the back of his shirt collar and yanked him away from Haley. "Dude, I told you to knock it off."

"What's the big deal? It's not like she's your girlfriend," Tim joked.

"No, definitely not," Nathan answered automatically. "We're friends."

Haley stared right at Nathan. There was no doubt had heard him say that. She was steamed…..Simmering maybe…..Getting ready _to explode._ Nathan cowered. He turned his back and looked around the room to avoid facing the hurt in her eyes. He turned back around for a split second to see her turn away from him. He took a few steps away and rubbed his chin as he contemplated his next move.

This was a fucking disaster.

He had to talk to her….in private. He didn't know what he would say, but if he could get her alone, he hoped the right words would come to him. Nathan turned back around prepared to finally face Haley. His heart began to race. Chris, Tim and even Jake were all drooling over her. Without hesitation, Nathan made his way over and inserted himself into their trio.

He started to breath heavy as Haley ignored him. Apparently, she was telling a story and the guys were captivated with whatever she was saying, hanging on her every word. He didn't know what the hell she was saying He blamed his buzz. Her lips were moving and her hands were animated, but he couldn't hear a damn word coming out of her mouth. All he could hear was the sound of thumping of his heart. It grew louder and louder with each second until he became absolutely desperate to make to get it to stop.

"Hey, Hales," Nathan rudely interjected. "I thought we would spend the night at my place tonight. What do you think?"

All four faces looked up at him. Chris smiled and nodded, Jake looked embarrassed and Tim surprised. Haley's face turned red and there was no mistake about it; she was furious.

Thoughts were running rampantly through her head, all leaving Haley speechless. Desperate for a witty comeback, she grabbed at the thoughts. There was only one should could get a hold of. _She wanted to kill him_. Given the chance, she would do just that.

"Nice," Chris said excitedly as lifted his glass towards Nathan and took a sip of his drink. "You guys do sleepovers, huh? I like friends like that."

With the words of the cocky son of bitch, Nathan realized how worse he had just made things. This had impressed Chris, spurred on Tim and disgusted Jake. And Haley looked like she was ready to kill him.

Nathan tried his best to redeem himself as he looked remorsefully at Haley. "You know what? I'll let you decide. You probably have a lot of work to do still right? And what about your mom? Is she still around?" Haley was looking down at her hands, shaking her head. Nathan looked at Chris, Jake and Tim. "I took Haley's mom out to dinner last night," he explained. "We had a nice time, didn't we, Hales?"

"You took her mom out to dinner?" Tim snickered.

"Wait," Chris said looking from Haley to Nathan. "Did I miss something here?" He narrowed in on Nathan. "Are you her boyfriend, because I really don't want to mess around with a dude like you…."

Haley looked up this time and gave Nathan her full attention.

"She's, ah….We're…."

Chris laughed loudly. "Thanks, man. You just answered my question."

Tim laughed next. "Yeah, Nathan Scott doesn't do girlfriends." A second later he seemed to rethink that. "Well unless they're supermodels with the name Rachel…"

"Fuck off, Tim," Nathan bit out.

"Why? Isn't he just telling the truth?" Haley challenged him.

Nathan literally felt weak in the knees. It was the first words she had spoken to him…and _that look_. He hated it when she looked at him like that. It was the complete opposite of the way she looked at him last night. Once again, he felt the need to get away. "I'm going to get you drink. Peach Schnapps good?"

"I'm not in the mood for a drink," Haley spat out. "In fact, I'm feeling pretty sick right about now."

"Maybe a ginger ale then?" Nathan didn't give her the chance to answer. He went over to the bar and to order the drinks.

As soon as Nathan was gone, Haley leaned towards Jake. "It's not what you think," she said defensively.

Jake put his hands up. "I'm not thinking anything."

Haley shook her head in disbelief. "I'm not that kind of girl, Jake. It's just….Lucas….He…We…..It's not what you think." She sadly put her head down, unsure of what else to say. She couldn't deny she had been played for a fool by the infamous Nathan Scott.

Jake put his hand on Haley's back and started to rub it. "Relax, Haley. I've known Nathan a long time. He can be a jerk sometimes."

As quickly as he could, Nathan made his way back to the group. His heart started to race again as he saw Haley with her head down, with Jake's hand on the center of her back. Of all three guys, he knew he should be grateful Jake was the one to comforting her. Jake was a great guy; one of the nicest guys he'd ever met. So, why did he want to pummel the shit out of him?

"Fucking asshole. Just like high school," Haley was saying as he neared her.

Nathan put the glasses down in front of Haley. "I got you both….In case you changed your mind."

Jake shook his head at Nathan. "Nate, man….Maybe you should chill, you know?"

"You don't know anything, Jake. If anyone needs to chill, it's you." Jake took the cue and removed his hand from Haley's back.

Haley started to lay into him. "No, seriously, Nathan, you are the one—"

"Haley, can I talk to you? In private?" He was surprised when Haley sprang up.

"This out to be good," Haley said testily. She left the table and walked away from the group. When Nathan tried to take her arm to lead her to a quieter place, Haley balked. She stopped moving, crossed her arms and planted herself in the midst of swarms of people.

Nathan could read the fire in her eyes. This wasn't the first time he pissed her off, but this time, it was different. Instead of her testiness inciting him, it scared him. He was honestly scared and suddenly had no words to offer up.

"What? What do you want to say? Say it right here, Nathan. Come on. Let's have it," Haley demanded loudly as she gestured around them.

Nathan stuffed his hands in his pockets and shifted his feet. He was having trouble meeting her eyes. "Well…Uh…I'm sorry," he stammered.

"Sorry!" Haley huffed. "Sorry! For what? Playing me? Getting what you want from me just so you could brag about it to—"

"It's not like that," Nathan shot back adamantly. "I didn't do that! It wasn't about that!"

"Isn't that why you brought me here?"

"No," Nathan said exasperated. "That's not it at all."

Haley took a step forward and leaned into him. She lowered her voice so only he could hear it. "I opened up to you last night. You know how hard that was for me."

Nathan looked away guiltily.

"God!" Haley said as her frustration returned. "I can't believe I trusted you! I won't make that mistake again!" With that, Haley prepared to leave him.

Nathan grabbed her arm and pulled her back. "Haley, you said you didn't want this. You remember? No boyfriend….Your career comes first. Isn't that what you want?"

"Don't remind me what I said! You said those things, too. In fact, we both said a lot of things. The question is which things did do you mean and which were all just part of your act?" Haley pressed him.

Nathan started to get annoyed. He wasn't the only one who had thrown out contradictory statements, avoided pressing questions, and failed to communicate their feelings. "I could say the same thing for you! And you still didn't answer my question."

"Fuck you," Haley snarled. "I don't owe you anything." The last word flashed in her mind. Her grimace turned slowly into a wicked smile. "_Anything._ You understand that?"

Nathan was starting to get it and he was growing angrier by the second. "Is that a threat? Are you threating me and my career? Just because I won't be your boyfriend, you're going to fuck with me?"

Although his words cut through her, Haley didn't flinch. She was too wound up for that. "You're going to wish you never had met me," she in a low, severe tone.

She left him standing there and headed back over to the guys. When she saw Chris Keller ready to greet her with a smile, she walked right over to him, took his hand and pulled him to a quieter place to talk. She pretended to be as interested in learning all about his musical prowess fully aware that Nathan had his eyes glued to her.

After watching Haley for a while, Nathan decided it was time to leave. He was heading towards the bar when Jake pulled him aside.

"You're not leaving, are you?" Jake asked disappointedly.

"Yeah," Nathan said dryly.

"Look, I'm sorry, man. I didn't know," Jake said apologetically.

"Know what?"

"That Haley is your girl," Jake said seriously.

"She's not—"

"No, she is," Jake laughed. "That's crystal clear."

Nathan let out a heavy sigh as he realized there was no point trying to hide it. "She doesn't want to be."

"I think you're wrong there, too." Jake turned and looked over at Chris and Haley. "And if it were me, I wouldn't leave my girl alone with a guy like Chris Keller."

"Haley can handle herself," Nathan said harshly. "And she seems to be enjoying herself."

Jake put his hand on Nathan's shoulder. "Nate, what are you so afraid of? Just tell her how you feel."

Nathan kept his eyes fixed on Haley. What was he afraid of? Her response. Rejection. A wounded ego. Most of all, losing her. "I can't do it."

Jake pulled his hand away. "Then stay…..and keep an eye on her. You may think Haley can handle herself, but you haven't seen Chris perform. Somehow, when the ladies see him, they swoon over his talent. It's like he casts some type of spell over them."

Nathan looked at Jake skeptically.

"I know, it's crazy. I just wish it worked for me," Jake laughed. "Just one more set. Then, when he goes to get ready for his, at least go and apologize."

Nathan nodded. He would just have to control the fire building inside of him before it got out of control.

* * *

><p>Nathan tried to stay through the next set, but halfway through he had enough. He had sobered up and it allowed him to feel things on an even deeper level. He was starting to get nauseous. Haley was sitting with Chris, pretty much letting him fawn all over her. If he stayed any longer, he was going to erupt. The only thing keeping him from doing just that was the wide gamut of emotions running through him. It was more than anger and fear…it was also longing and disappointment.<p>

Haley saw Nathan go over and pay his bill. Disappointment set in. She focused her attention the drink Chris had bought for her. He was going to leave. It was going to be over. She would have the answer to all her lingering questions; it just wasn't the answer she wanted.

Damn it! She should have known better. Things were going too well. It was too good to be true. Letting him have her heart might turn out to be the biggest mistake of her life; it had the potential to leave her with deep scars that might never fully heal.

She hated him for that. There was only one thing to do. When she said it earlier, it had just slipped off her tongue. Maybe, it didn't have to be an empty threat. She could make him pay. She had the power to do that. But could she? Could she go through with it?

No. That was more Taylor-like. She already regretted even taunting him like that. But she wouldn't be his doormat either. She would stand up for herself. She would let him know—

"Haley. Haley."

Haley snapped her attention back to Chris. "Huh?"

"Your boyfriend is heading this way," Chris said nervously.

"He's not my boyfriend," Haley muttered. The words were barely out of her mouth when Nathan popped up behind her. Haley knitted her brow and kept her back to him as she stared down her drink.

Nathan leaned down beside her. "I'm leaving, Haley. Are you coming or not?"

Haley spun around. Just like that, his cocky assumptions set her off. "You're kidding? You actually think I would leave with you?"

Nathan didn't flinch. "Yeah, I do because we've both been playing games and neither one of us wants the game to be over."

"You're wrong," Haley said defiantly. "I'm not one of those girls you can order around."

Nathan straightened up. "You know what? Forget it. You're not worth it." He looked over at Chris and back at Haley. "I thought you were better than that. Have a good night, Doc."

Haley fought back the tears that stung at her eyes. She felt Chris' hand move on top of hers.

"Hey, baby. Don't worry. Chris Keller will sing you a special song to cheer you up. And when I'm done my set, I'll give you first dibs on leaving with me."

In that moment, Haley hated herself for stooping so low. Nathan was right. She was better than this. She started fishing for her cell phone out of her purse.

"Uh, Haley. Haley. Haley," Chris said frantically.

"What?" Haley hissed still looking through her purse. "Ah ha!" She exclaimed triumphantly pulled out her phone.

"You're sure he's not your boyfriend?" Chris asked, his voice slightly screeching.

"Yes!" Haley stated clearly.

"I hope to God you're right because he's heading back over here and Chris Keller is not up for a duel; not before my gig anyway. These hands need to work their magic."

Haley turned around. Sure enough, Nathan was heading right for her. And that look on his face? No wonder Chris was scared. She was scared too, but for completely different reasons.

* * *

><p>Preview of next chapter: "Dare You to Move" (Switchfoot)<p>

AN: I really only have one thing so say—9x04 counts as one of JL's episodes? That is a crime. If I could file criminal charges, I would.


	19. Chapter 19

**Disclaimer #1**: Characters, minor plot points and dialogue belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and _One Tree Hill_ writers.

**Disclaimer #2**: Although my career is in the field of psychology, I have taken a lot of liberties with my story. My background is nothing like Haley's in this story. Her story only has _a little_ basis in reality. I know many people in that field who have given me inspiration for details here and there, but this situation is entirely fictional. Please don't take what you read as fact, especially when it comes to the research discussed and ethics of practicing psychology. As with all my stories, you have to use the suspension of disbelief, just as you do with our favorite tv show. The examples in this story are merely for plot purposes. If you do have questions or concerns about the psychological elements of the story, please feel free to pm. I'd love to discuss!

Special thanks to **dkfuryan** for inspiration for some parts of this chapter!

Chapter 19: "Dare You to Move" (Switchfoot)

Nathan leaned down on the table, facing Haley. His eyes were a bright shade of blue, and were beaming with intensity. "You want me to be your boyfriend? Is that it?"

Haley was flabbergasted. She looked over at Chris, as if he could help her. Instead, Chris wore a nervous smirk as he looked back and forth from Haley to Nathan, as if watching a live boxing match.

"Tell me, Haley," Nathan demanded. "Tell me what I need to do to get you away from a jackass like this. Tell me what I need to do to get you to leave with me. Tell me….I'll do it."

Haley was still stunned. She tried to open her mouth to speak, but each time she did, she lost her breath. She played his words over in his head and tried to analyze them. He was jealous….and he wanted her to leave with him. They weren't exactly the reasons she wanted. "I don't want—"

"You don't want _what_, Haley?" Nathan hissed angrily. "You don't want _a boyfriend_? You don't want _me_ as your boyfriend? Make up your damn mind! Tell me what you want!"

"I don't want you talking to me like this!" Haley answered sharply. "Just leave, Nathan."

Nathan took a deep breath as he tried to read Haley. God, this hurt. It hurt so much. Now, he was desperate. "Do you know what you're saying? If you mean that; _this is it_."

Haley's heart raced as adrenaline flowed through her veins. She did know what _this _meant. This would hurt him. This would kill his ego. He would never let her get close to him again.

But, Haley was stubborn. So far tonight, he didn't have one nice thing to say to her. There wasn't a shred of meaningful words; it was all demands and accusations reeking of possessiveness. "_I mean it_," she spat out before she could rethink it.

Nathan stared deep into her eyes, letting her see all the way into his soul. Then, he put his wall back up. He shook his head and bit down on his lip. He slammed his hands on the table so severely it shook their glasses. He turned around and stormed off.

The second he headed away, Haley started to rethink things. That look in his eyes. It was more than what she initially thought. Deep down, it was vulnerability. He was scared. He was just as scared as her.

She flew up out of her seat. Yes, this time she was chasing after him.

She didn't catch up with him until he was outside. "Nathan! Nathan! Wait!" To her immense relief, he stopped. He kept his back to her, so she had to run ahead of him and turn back to face him.

Nathan looked at her fiercely with his eyebrows tightly knitted. He remained silent, content to let her do the talking this time. He had said everything he needed to…Well, almost everything.

Haley let her emotional guard down. First and foremost, she needed him to know how much he hurt her. "You were being a jerk in there. I mean, I walk in and you head is stuck in some bimbo's chest. How do you think that made me feel? _Especially _after last night."

Nathan softened as he was hit with guilt. "Last night….I got confused, Haley. These things I'm feeling—I've never felt anything like it. I don't know how to deal with them. I need some time. And I don't know how you feel either. It's driving me crazy."

"So, you mock me? And embarrass me? You think that's going to help?"

"I screw up a lot. I told you that."

"So, stop doing that," she sharply instructed him. "Stop screwing up. Stop using that as an excuse to do what you want."

"That's why I put it all on the table for you—and you shot me down."

"Because that's not how you handle things, Nathan. You don't invite a girl out only to let her see you flirt with other girls. It's just like that couple we sat that night in the bar. You don't downplay your relationship in front of your friends. You don't announce that we've been spending the night together. And you definitely don't tell her that you want to be with her only because you don't want her to be with anyone else. No girl with self-respect would fall for that."

"Then tell me what to me do, because I don't know," Nathan reasserted. "I don't know how to be in normal relationship. All I know is that I want to be with you."

"Like in a committed way?" Haley asked skeptically.

"Yes. I mean, if that's what you want. I still don't know what the hell you want. What do you want?" Nathan asked with desperation. "You need to tell me."

Haley looked directly into his eyes. "I want you." When he didn't respond, she looked down and at her feet.

Nathan took a step closer to her and put his fingers under her chin and lifted it up to him. "Well, I want you, too."

"But you're embarrassed by me?"

"No…I was a jerk. I had a buzz going and Tim—he gets to me sometimes."

Haley's conflicted emotions kicked in as her mind went back to Nathan and that bimbo. "If we're going to do this….I don't want you with other girls."

"I just bought her a drink. That was it. And it was all because of Tim."

Haley looked him over struggling whether to believe him.

"You can trust me, Haley. Why would I ask you to come here if I was going to do something like that?"

He had a point. She didn't think he was malicious like that. "But you don't like labels," she reminded him.

"I guess I don't like _not_ having labels either….because I sure as hell don't want my girl cozying up to likes of Chris Keller. I know that sounds bad, but it's the truth."

"Is this just because of him?"

Nathan put his arms around her waist and pulled her towards him. "Haley, we were already heading down this path. This was just the wakeup call I needed.

Haley put her hands by his shoulders. "I want to give this a shot; for real."

Nathan smiled. "This is for real. It has been since that day you trapped me in the elevator. I think we just need to do a better job of being honest and talking about things."

Haley smiled brightly. She looked at him with her emotions ready to burst at the seams. She flitted up and down on her toes as her eyes lit up. "Nathan Scott, I—"

Nathan swooped down and sealed off her words with a passionate kiss. He kissed her long and hard hoping to expunge the words from her mind. He knew what she was going to say, but he didn't want to hear it like this. Already, his mind was in overdrive working on a plan. It involved a special place to exchange those special words. But first things, first.

Once they had to break for air, Nathan sprang into action. He took her by the hand and let her back into the club. Perfect. Chris Keller was on the small stage setting up for his performance. Nathan dragged Haley all the way to that stage at the back of the club.

"Nathan! What are you doing?"

Nathan issued Haley a giant smile, as he brought them to the foot of the stage. He let go of her hand and joined Chris on stage. Chris had just taken his seat on the stool, center stage. He was in the process of adjusting his guitar when Nathan reached in front of him and dragged the microphone towards him.

Nathan tapped on the microphone and got the audience's attention. "Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen…I have an announcement to make…Some very sad news….I want to let you know that someone is off the market." He smiled as he saw Haley's eyes widened, followed by her hands flying to her face. A couple of girls whistled at him and she quickly dropped her hand and looked around angrily. "Yes, sorry guys, but Haley James is taken." Her hands flew back up to her face, covering her eyes. "Yes, that beauty right there," Nathan said pointing to her, "covering up her face, is my girlfriend." A few of the girls cooed while others booed. "So to you guys out there," Nathan continued as he took a cast over his shoulder at Chris, "and especially you—back the hell off! Or you'll have to deal a very jealous boyfriend."

Nathan walked off the stage to a small round of applause and laughter. He opened his arms and let Haley bury herself in his chest as she fought of her embarrassment.

She finally looked up, her face still a deep shade of red, when Chris Keller took to the microphone. "Well, well…Chris Keller is a regular Cupid…Let's hope one of you ladies catches the next arrow I'm sending out."

Nathan and Haley shared an amused laugh. They only stayed long enough to hear Chris opening chords before they made their way to the front of the club. Once they were outside, they took a moment to take in the fresh air and let their emotions settle down.

"I can't believe you did that!" Haley said stomping her foot.

Nathan laughed. He could see the smile she was fighting off. Now, it was time for the next part of his plan. "Will you come with me?" He asked.

"Where?"

"My place….but somewhere else first so we can talk."

Haley beamed. "The beach!"

Nathan made a face at her. "Way to ruin it." He grabbed her hand. "Come on. There's one more place I want to go first."

"Where?" Haley said as she struggled to keep up with him.

"The drugstore."

"What?"

"I don't have any spare toothbrushes at my place," Nathan said casually. He looked over at Haley with a glint in his eye. "And I sure as hell don't have any of that girly deodorant."

Haley laughed. This was turning out to be quite the night.

* * *

><p>Once inside the drugstore, he and Haley split up. He was a man on a mission. He headed to the far back of the store to the aisle he wanted. He didn't waste much time there. He grabbed a box of condoms and headed to the cashier. After paying, he stuffed his purchase into his pockets. He still didn't want to pressure Haley, but he knew...he just knew…it wasn't going to be much longer, especially since Haley was back to having that look in her eyes. So, he decided to be smart about this. He needed to be prepared. Better safe than sorry. He learned that back in health class.<p>

Confident that Haley was none the wiser to his purchase, Nathan headed down to the aisle with household cleaners. He picked up a can of Lysol and headed off to find Haley. He found her in the shampoo aisle looking over some products. He went to her side and looked at the full basket of items hanging over her arm.

"You gonna move in?" He teased her.

Haley looked in the basket and back up at Nathan. "Well, I need a hair brush, too…and I need my face cream….and my skin is sensitive so I need special body soap…and you don't have conditioner, do you?"

Nathan shook his head and looked at her with great amusement. "I think you forgot something."

Haley looked through the basket, then back up at Nathan. "What?"

Nathan brought his hand around from behind his back and held up the can of Lysol. He dropped it into the basket.

"Ha, Ha," Haley said rolling her eyes. She shifted the basket that was now weighing heavily on her arm.

Nathan reached over and grabbed the basket from her. For the next five minutes, he dutifully followed Haley around as she picked out a few more items. When they were ready to pay, he artfully slid his credit card to the cashier.

Haley quickly began to protest as she pushed her debit card towards him. It was too late. The cashier had already swiped Nathan's. "Nathan! You can't do this!"

"I just did," he said smugly.

"But it's all stuff for me."

"Wrong. This is my stuff; it all stays at my place," he said with a suggestive rising of his eyebrow.

* * *

><p>Haley got out of Nathan's car and looked around. They were pulled over to the side of the road along a private secluded beach. There was a large house up ahead, but nothing else. She eyed the private beach signs posted around. "This is where you go? Isn't that trespassing?"<p>

Nathan shook his head and held out his hand for her to take. "Trust me, Hales. I do this all of the time."

Haley was skeptical, but there was no one else around. She took his hand. He led her down a narrow pathway to the beach area. As soon as their feet hit the sand, they both stopped and took off their shoes.

Nathan smiled at Haley. She was all dressed up, but he could tell she didn't mind getting a little dirty. It was a welcome change from some of the chicks he'd been with at the beach over the years—namely one high maintenance model.

They walked down towards the water and found a spot where the sand was dry, but close enough to see the water. Nathan sat down with his knees up against his chest. He put his arms around his knees and leaned over them looking out at the water. High tide was gone and the tide was on its way out.

Haley sat down next to Nathan, with her legs stretched out in front of her, leaning back on her elbows. They sat in silence for a few moments, each gathering their private thoughts.

The water was glistening from the reflection of the moon. The waves were rolling in and out in a soft, seductive manner, captivating both of them.

"It's so nice here at night," Haley said softly.

"I told you. You know what makes it even better? Being here with you."

Haley's heart skipped a beat. She kept her attention on the water to avoid becoming too flustered. "I'm always amazed at the tide…how consistent and predictable it is. Every day it comes in and goes out, like clockwork—they can time it down to the minute. And nothing changes it; it's a force of nature."

Nathan pointed up at the moon. "You know the moon controls the tides?"

Haley turned her attention to the moon. She did know that and wasn't surprised he did. He was smarter than he gave himself credit for. "Gravity is a pretty powerful thing."

Nathan and Haley looked directly at each other. They were thinking similar thoughts. There was some type of magnetic pull between them as well. It had been there right from the start. It was more powerful than anything they could imagine, including the tide and the moon.

Nathan cleared his throat. "I know you don't like excuses, but I need to be honest with you. I don't know what it's like to be an in healthy relationship."

"I don't have much experience either. I just know it takes commitment."

"See, that's the thing." Nathan shifted his position to match hers as he pushed back on his elbows. "What is a commitment? I used to just think of it in terms of being faithful. That was really the only thing that mattered to me."

"Me too," Haley admitted. Her only serious relationships had been defined by cheating. She suddenly looked at Nathan with realization. "Rachel cheated on you?"

Nathan kept his eyes focused ahead. "More than once," he said dryly. "More than twice. Who the hell knows how many times. Probably more than I could count."

Haley sat up and scooted over to him. "I'm sorry. You never told me that…even when I told you how I was cheated on."

Nathan straightened up. "I don't like to talk about it. But I will tell you one thing—because of that—I would never cheat on you."

Haley knew he meant what he was saying, but she also knew how things changed in a relationship. The promises you made one day, could change the next day….So could your feelings. The shock of her life had been when she found out Vivian's husband had a mistress. It taught her to never say never.

"You're thinking about me in high school, right?" Nathan guessed. "I'm not like that anymore, I swear."

"I wasn't, but it's not fair for me to judge you on that, anyway," Haley assured him. "It's more that things could change. You're in committed relationship and one day you meet someone new you're attracted to and—"

"I would tell you," Nathan said quickly. "I wouldn't try to get away with it or sneak around. I would man up and let you know." He had wondered many times over the years why Rachel had never just broke up with him and moved on. It was clear she had deep feelings for someone else. Why hold on to him? "I guess its act of deceit that gets me." He looked at Haley with serious eyes. "I promise I'll always be honest with you. That's one thing you should know about me—I don't lie."

"I believe you. And I promise the same." Haley started to think about what else being in a committed relationship meant. She thought back to the one successful long-term relationship she'd witnessed over the years. "My parents had the best relationship. The loved each other, but they were also friends…best friends. They laughed so much!"

"I wish I could have met your dad, especially now that I've met your mom" Nathan said with a twinkle in his eye.

Haley gave Nathan an affectionate peck on the cheek. She loved how he didn't shy away from talking about her dad. The more she talked about him, the more it helped. "My mom said he would have liked you."

Nathan cocked his head at Haley. "Yeah?" He was touched. He really loved Haley's mom. Nathan opened up his arm for Haley. "Come here."

Haley nestled up against him. She went back to thinking about her parents. "And relationships take work. I think that you commit not only to being faithful, but to work things out. My parents had their share of fights, but they worked things out." Haley paused thoughtfully. "You know in marital counseling they stress the importance of knowing how to fight. I guess it's important a couple figures that out because fights can be productive."

"I think we passed that test," Nathan joked.

Haley laughed, then turned serious. "I don't like fighting with you. Tonight was not fun."

Nathan thought about how he'd hid his true feelings from Haley. "You know I was waiting for you to call me?"

"Me? You were waiting for _me_ to call _you_?" Haley asked surprised.

"Jake caught me staring at my phone—that's why he suggested I call you. I had these big plans of having a guy's night out, but in the end, all I was doing was thinking about you."

"It was really bothered me that you didn't tell me where you were going."

"We really need to do a better job of talking," Nathan sighed.

"We should have talked last night—I knew something was off when you left this morning."

Nathan shifted uneasily. "It just freaked me out a little bit. I mean, I know last night as a big deal for you—and that must this thing with us means a lot to you….and I don't want to do anything to pressure you…or drive you away…even though sometimes I can't help it…just like I can't help that _I fell in love with you_…cuz I did." He paused as realized how the words had once again fallen so easily out of his mouth. It wasn't the way he intended, but there was no going back now. "_I love you, Haley_….and it scares me a little bit, but… _there it is_."

"Wow," Haley said slowly in awe. "There it is." She reached over and pulled at the back of his neck to bring his lips to hers. With that kiss, she tried her best to show him how she felt. And just to be sure he knew, she pulled away, looked deep into his eyes and smiled. "_I love you, too._"

Nathan shyly smiled back. Hearing those words from her touched him in a way he never imagined. He pulled her towards him and kissed her a few more times, as if testing out the new reality of his life. He was in love with her….and she was in love with him. They were starting relationship; one that he knew would change his life. Everything was different now.

Nathan looked briefly at the ocean and the moon. Yes, even that looked different—brighter, majestic, beautiful…and it was all because of Haley. Sharing this with her made everything so much better. He opened up his legs and gestured for her to move in front of him. Once she did, he wrapped his arms around hers. Yes, this was it….having her in his arms on this serenely peaceful beach while looking out at the ocean was the best feeling in the world.

Haley relaxed against Nathan. She spent a minute taking in the view stretching out in front of her and the touch of Nathan rubbing her arms. Then, in her typical fashion, her mind started to race. They loved each other. They were committed. They were in a relationship. They had talked about what that meant to each of them. What had they missed? What else did they need to talk about? She once again started to think about her parents. "Support is important in a relationship, too?"

"Huh?"

"My parents were always supportive of each other. I already think we do that—or at least I know you support me. You get my career."

Nathan stiffened slightly. His regret weighed even heavier. He couldn't bring himself to go there. Not yet. The time would come, but it wasn't going to be tonight.

Haley turned her head. "I'll support you, too. Go to your games."

"Cheer me on?"

Haley rolled her eyes. "From the sidelines." She turned back to the water. "So, we'll support each other, too. We have to learn how to fight better. Maybe we should make a list of-"

"Haley?"

"Yeah?"

"What are you doing?" It sounded like she was reading from an instruction manual.

"I'm figuring this all out."

Nathan snickered. "Stop trying to do that. You can't figure it all out. It has to come naturally, too." He moved his lips to her neck and started laying kiss on it.

"Mmmm," Haley moaned. "You're distracting me."

"Let me recap." Nathan moved his lips to the other side of neck. He planted a kiss before each word, "Faithful…Talking…Laughing….Supporting…Touching…Kissing."

Haley turned her head and kissed him. "I like that part."

"Oh, yeah?" Nathan asked huskily. "And what about fun like we had last night? Is that part of it?"

Haley nodded and smiled. "Maybe more?" She asked teasingly.

"Don't tease me like that," Nathan said seriously.

Haley shot to her feet and gave him a saucy smile as she kicked around some sand. "Who said I'm teasing?"

With that, she took off running towards the water. Nathan sprung up and chased after her. Once they reached the water, he chased her around until he caught her and pulled in for a kiss. Their kisses started off playful, but shifted into tenderness. Once their desires were satisfied, they broke apart, held hands and began walking along the beach, their feet sorting through the remnants of the breaking waves. They chatted comfortably about their shared interests—the beach, Matthew, Tree Hill. Eventually, the conversation shifted to their families as Nathan led them away from the water.

"I grew up so angry, and that was even before my dad did what he did." He cast a sideways glance at Haley. "You really think I can learn to curb that?"

"I do," Haley answered meeting his eyes. "There are so many things you can try, but honestly Nathan, even tonight I think you controlled your anger without realizing it."

Nathan hadn't considered that. A couple of months ago, he might have punched Chris Keller's lights out without thinking twice. He had done that kind of thing more than once with Rachel. She seemed to get a kick out him getting jealous of jumping in to defend her. Now, Nathan could see that she probably cozied up to guys at parties on purpose just to get him fired up. Haley brought out a completely different side of him. More than anything, he found himself not wanting to disappoint her. Still, he knew Haley wouldn't be there all of the time. He needed to control his anger on his own. "We'll have to talk more about this in therapy."

Haley stopped walking. "Nathan, I don't think we can do therapy anymore." When his face fell, she put her hand quickly to his chest. "I mean, I'm still going to sign off—don't worry about that. I'm just not sure I can treat you. It would be weird, don't you think?"

Nathan shrugged. He thought he could handle it. All it involved was compartmentalizing things. As an athlete, that was a skill he used a lot. When out on that court, he needed to put all of his personal issues aside and just focus on playing. Admittedly, it was something he still needed to work on. "What are you saying? You don't want me to come in on Tuesday? But I still need therapy, Hales."

Haley moved back to his side and started walking again as she thought this over. "We could still talk—just not in my office."

Nathan shrugged again. He liked talking in her office. He felt like he could open up with her there in a different way. It was as if it was a judgment-free zone where he could be completely vulnerable. He needed that. He wanted Haley to be able to put her professional lenses on and see him just like her other patients as she helped him. Then, their personal relationship could function on its own terms and not be so intertwined with his personal demons. For now, he decided to gently stir the conversation away from his therapy. "I'm so worried about turning into my father-I know my temper comes from him. It's genetics, right?"

Haley squeezed his hand. "You won't turn out like him. I'm sure of it. Besides, look at Luke….He has Dan's genes and he's nothing like him."

"Have you heard from him?"

"No. Have you?"

"No…Kind of weird, huh? He dropped off the face of the earth yesterday?"

"I know," Haley agreed. "It's not like him."

"But Luke wasn't raised by Dan anyway. He had Keith…..and his mom. Both of my parents are a genetic recipe for disaster."

"But see, that's it…Keith and Dan were so different and they were raised by the same parents. And how about your mom? Does she have any siblings?"

Nathan flinched and stopped in his tracks. "Yeah," he said flatly. "Uncle Coop is real gem."

Haley knew she struck a nerve. "He's not a good guy?" She asked nervously.

"Not unless you think preying on underage girls is cool," Nathan said disgustedly.

Haley's eyes widened in surprise. "Is he in jail?"

"No…It's not like that-he just had a thing for teenagers; one in particular."

"Oh." Haley looked around. They were stopped in front of the only beach house in the area. Set up over a rock wall, this two-story house had a massive staircase leading up to a wraparound porch on the second floor. "Wow! The person who lives here must be really rich."

"It's all about the location."

Haley looked around at the beach. "No kidding—they practically have this whole thing to—" She stopped talking as Nathan started to lead her towards a stone stepped staircase off to the right. She looked at him and back at the house. "Nathan….Nathan…Nathan…." She trailed off, in complete awe.

As they reached the steps, Nathan turned and grinned at her. "Did you want me to carry you up to my place or do you think you can handle the steps?"

Haley smiled brightly. "I can handle it."

Nathan led the way up the stairs.

Haley kept her eyes focused on him. He had such great ass. She sprinted up and made a grab for it.

Nathan spun around. He only showed his shock for a second before he picked her up and threw her over his shoulder and carried her up the steps to his house.

* * *

><p>Preview for next chapter: "I'm Yours" (Jason Mraz)<p>

AN: Thanks so much for the reviews over the past few days! I also appreciate my new readers! I'm very pm friendly, so if you want a response to a review or have a question, let me know! For this chapter, things I'm interested in hearing feedback on—Are they ready to finally go all of the way? Should Haley still try to be his therapist formally?

I know I've frustrated you w/cliffhangers and I do apologize for that. I have my reasons about giving you time to think, but sometimes it's also because of the music I've chosen for the theme of the chapter. Hopefully now you see why I wanted all of this in the "Dare You to Move" chapter. Interestingly enough, I used this in a future chapter _Far Away_ as well, but for heartbreaking stuff more attuned w/the lyrics (being afraid, taking risks, resistance, being self-conscious, being under pressure, redemption, forgiveness, salvation) instead of Naley goodness.

This chapter is a very important one to come back to once they hit troubled waters. It gives their perspectives of they want their relationship to be. You'll see why that's important later…definitely w/in the next five chapters.

I got this up before the Super Bowl for those of you not into football! As for me, I'm rooting for the Pats all the way!


	20. Chapter 20

**Disclaimer #1**: Characters, minor plot points and dialogue belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and _One Tree Hill_ writers.

**Disclaimer #2**: Although my career is in the field of psychology, I have taken a lot of liberties with my story. My background is nothing like Haley's in this story. Her story only has _a little_ basis in reality. I know many people in that field who have given me inspiration for details here and there, but this situation is entirely fictional. Please don't take what you read as fact, especially when it comes to the research discussed and ethics of practicing psychology. As with all my stories, you have to use the suspension of disbelief, just as you do with our favorite tv show. The examples in this story are merely for plot purposes. If you do have questions or concerns about the psychological elements of the story, please feel free to pm. I'd love to discuss!

Chapter 20: "I'm Yours" (Jason Mraz)

After rinsing off their feet, Nathan showed Haley the way to the front of his house.

Haley looked around as she waited for him to open up the door. "Wow! I can't believe this is your house."

Nathan pushed open the door. "It's not the biggest house in the area, but I liked the privacy."

Haley stepped inside. She hesitated as her barefoot hit the hardwood of the foyer. "Oh, our shoes…"

"Oh, yeah." Nathan looked towards the door. "Why don't I go get our shoes and the car? Can you hang here for a while?" He headed over to the messy stack of shoes by the door and slipped on a pair of old sneakers.

"I think I can manage," Haley smiled. Nathan had definitely been modest. She looked up, impressed by the high wooden ceilings and walls. It was a rustic, yet sophisticated architectural design. Inside was turning out to be almost impressive as the outdoor landscape. "I can't believe how you tricked me!"

"I _surprised_ you. I can't believe you didn't figure it out." Nathan was also surprised that his brother hadn't told her he'd bought a beach house. What was wrong with him? Lucas had to of known Haley loved the beach and would like a place like this to go to, especially considering she was still grieving her father's death. Lucas did know she was still grieving, right? Or was he that clueless? Without even knowing Haley, Nathan gladly would have offered up his place for her to use as a favor to his brother. Nathan knew firsthand the healing powers of a private beach like this. A persistent thought returned to Nathan's mind; his brother must have been desperate to keep him from spending time with Haley. Well, at least his nagging phone calls had stopped so he didn't have that weighing on him.

Haley pointed her finger at him as he backed away towards the door. "I was tricked!"

"Punish me when I get back," Nathan grinned.

Haley shook her head and laughed.

"Feel free to look around." With that, Nathan exited out the front door. He was halfway down his front steps when a wave of panic hit him. He swiftly turned back around and flew in the front door, startling Haley. Thank God. She was standing in the exact same spot he'd left her in. "Uh….Just don't go in the kitchen; that's over there," he said pointing to his right.

Haley gave him a curious look. "What? Is there a dead body in there or something?"

"I'm a slob, Haley, and I wasn't expecting company. Trust me, you don't want to go in there. Any place else on the first floor is okay."

"Okay," Haley shrugged. Seriously, how bad could it be? Nonetheless, she steered away from the doorway to the right. She headed for the room on the left. It was a simple dining room with a table, chairs and chandelier, although it didn't look like it was used for eating. The chairs were covered with bags, clothes and other random stuff. The table had messy piles of mail spread out over it. Haley quickly moved on. She cut through the dining room and pushed open the French doors.

It led into a massive room that spanned the length of the backside of the house. It had four panels of full length windows along the back wall. Over half of the room had cathedral ceilings with large windows at the top that showed off the moon. That half was set up like a living room with a flatscreen tv on the wall, entertainment center, couches, chairs, and end tables. From there, there was a clear view of the second floor with its open hallway. She could see a double set of doors for one of the rooms directly above. She spotted the stairs at the base of the living room and saw there was another closed off hallway, probably leading to other rooms on the second floor.

The other half of the open room had an overhung ceiling with some wooden support beams on both sides. It created an informal segway into the area with the mini bar, pool table and poker table and a couch. This full room alone was clearly a place that could house some serious parties. T As she saw a bag of chips on one of the couches and a pizza box and beer bottles and glasses left on the tables and bar, she assumed he had one recently.

Haley loved the set up. It was so open and refreshing! With the moonlighting, she could see that you didn't need to put on any of the lights, especially if you wanted a soft, romantic ambiance. She wisely kept off the lights.

For Haley, the most appealing spot in the entire room was the couch facing the windows. Haley walked over to the windows and saw the center windows were actually some sliding glass doors; even better. She opened them up and poked her head out onto the stone laced patio. It had some lounge chairs on one side and a small table and grill to the other side. She looked behind her. None of those things obstructed the view of the beach from that couch. Before leaving, Haley took a moment to listen to the sounds of the majestic beach and smell the salt air. She wondered if Nathan ever sat on that couch with the doors open. If she had a house like that, she would do that as often as she could. It was the perfect place to unwind after a long day. She could also see that as place to ideal work from. Yeah, she could sit there with her laptop, feet up on the ottoman, the beach in front of her, and have the peace and clarity to work away! She snapped herself out of her fantasy when she realized she was fantasizing about doing work. The last thing she wanted to think about tonight was that, especially when she had Nathan to think about!

Haley shut the glass doors and headed down the center of the room towards the stairs. She stood for a moment at the bottom of the stairs. God, she hoped Nathan's bedroom was the one at the back of the house overlooking the beach! She figured that had to be it, considering those double doors. Only a master bedroom would have those.

Haley walked past the stairs and peeked in the room on the opposite side of the dining room. It looked like a heavily cluttered office/trophy room. It had a desk with a laptop, a few framed pictures, jerseys hung on the wall and a trophy case. She wanted to go in to see those personal effects, but didn't want to snoop. She shut the door and continued down the hallway past the bathroom. She was now back in the foyer. She looked to that room Nathan pointed to, now on her left. It was the only place to go. Plus, she was thirsty and he was taking so long.

Haley went into the kitchen, prepared to cut Nathan some slack for not knowing she would be coming over. That slack went away the second Haley turned on the lights. The kitchen, which housed so many beautiful, top-of-the-line appliances, was disgrace. The sink was overflowing with dishes, and the counter had more empty beer bottles and glasses along with crumpled up, used paper towels. There was a small granite counter extending across side of the room with stools. An eating area perhaps? Haley guess so, judging from the empty takeout containers and plates. She, however, would never be able to stomach a meal in such a filthy area. In fact, she couldn't stand there and look at it. She took a few steps forward towards the sink. She stopped and picked up a few pieces of dried rice that stuck to her foot. It must have been from the Chinese food. It went along with the cartoons on the counter.

Where should she start? She opened up the cabinets under the counter. To her great relief, she found a spray bottle of kitchen cleaner. She looked around a few more places and found a box of trash bags and rolls of paper towels. Unfortunately, she didn't find a pair gloves. Oh, well. She was just going to have to get dirty.

As soon as Nathan came back in, he saw the light on in the kitchen. "Shit! Hales!" He walked into the kitchen and found Haley standing in front of his fridge filling up a second trash bag. "I told you not to come in here," he said embarrassed.

Haley turned around and held up a takeout container that had a heavy stench. "What is this? Or what was it?"

"I don't know." Nathan walked over and put the bags from the drugstore down on counter.

"Don't!" Haley said pointing. "I just cleared that spot out!"

Nathan picked up the bags started to walk way.

"And don't put them on your dining room table! That is not a place to collect junk!"

Nathan chuckled. She had obviously caught on to his habits. "Where do I put them then?"

"Away," Haley said matter-of-factly. "When you bring things home, you put them away." She looked at the trash bags. "And when you have trash, you put it in the trash." She turned towards the sink. "And when you have a dishwasher, you put the dirty dishes in there!"

Nathan smirked. He took out the can of Lysol from one of the bags and tried to hand it to her. "See, I knew this would come in handy! Knock yourself out."

She wouldn't take it. "I'm not cleaning this by myself! You go put that away and come back and help me."

"Haley, I'll do it tomorrow. Let's relax tonight."

Haley shook her head. "I can't relax until this is done, especially if I'm going to spend the night."

Nathan smiled after hearing that. "Fine. I'll be back, but I'm going to pick up a few things upstairs."

"You have ten minutes," Haley called after him. "And bring back a broom and dust pan!" He did have one of those, right?

* * *

><p>Nathan sat down next to Haley on the couch in the living room and handed her a bottle of beer. "Sorry. It's all I had."<p>

"I know."

As Nathan took a sip of his beer, he smelled the cleaning fluids on his hand. "Great, now we both smell like Lysol," he joked.

Haley elbowed him and took a drink of her beer. She scrunched up her face when the taste filled her mouth.

"You don't like it?" Nathan asked.

"Eh….I'll get used to it." To prove her point, she took another drink.

Well, even if she didn't like it, Nathan thought she looked sexy drinking it. Inspired, he got up and opened up the glass sliding doors in front of them. When he went back to the couch, Haley was beaming. "This is okay?"

"It's perfect!"

Nathan eyed her outfit as he took his seat. The short skirt…hint of cleavage….it definitely showed off her assets. "New outfit?"

"He noticed!" Haley said mocking proudness. "I got it when I was out shopping with my mom and sister."

"Well, you look great."

"Thanks! I actually got a lot of new clothes."

Nathan put his hand on her knee. "You don't need all that, do you? Don't go changing on me, Hales."

Haley smiled warmly. "I'm just branching out. Trying new things."

"Oh, yeah? Could be good," he said cocking one eyebrow suggestively.

"I did have some things in mind," she flirted back.

Nathan moved his hand slightly up from her knee to her upper leg and started rubbing it. "Like what?"

"Snowboarding!" Haley exclaimed. She promptly took another drink of her beer.

"Okay," Nathan said miserably failing at hiding his disappointment. "I could help you with that."

Haley took a final drink of the beer and set down the bottle. She shifted to her knees and pushed over him. She pulled at his shoulders and bringing him towards her. "Maybe we could try some more new things."

Nathan let her know his thoughts on that by engaging her in steamy kiss. The sexual tension between them increased as he ran his free hand down her back. When Haley pushed into him, he fell back against the couch. A jolt ran through his body and landed in his member. He suddenly pulled back. "Are you teasing me?"

That was the second time he'd said that tonight. "Is that what you think? You think I'm a tease!" She said slightly offended.

"I think," Nathan said calmly rubbing her back. "That you're my girlfriend and I like spending time with you…..And, I don't want to pressure you."

"But you're not!" _She_ was hovering _over him_! Couldn't he see this is what she wanted?

"But I am," Nathan disagreed. "I mean, we broke your rules, Haley. We had sex."

"That didn't count, Nathan." Not in the way that mattered.

"I want you to know, it's not about sex with me. When you're ready to really take that step—to make love; I'll be ready, too."

"I'm ready," Haley said without hesitation. She pulled him back towards her. "I'm all yours."

"Mine?" Nathan grinned.

"Yes…and I love you and you love me. There's nothing else I want to wait for." Haley moved so she had one leg on either side of him.

"You're sure?"

"Nathan, if I was the type of girl that wanted to get married someday, then maybe I would want to wait for that. But that's not me. I don't think making vows in some church or in front of your family or friends makes a big difference in your relationship. Neither does some certificate issued by the government." When Nathan remained quiet, Haley snuck in a kiss on his cheek. "So, what do you think? Are you ready?"

Nathan looked down at the significant bulge in his pants. "Yeah, I'd say I'm ready."

Haley shivered when she saw just how ready he was. "Do you want to show me your bedroom?"

Nathan nodded seriously.

Haley got up off of him and headed towards the staircase as he shut sliding doors. Just as she reached it, Nathan grabbed her hand to stop her. She stiffened up. She knew something was wrong. "What is it?"

"I know what you said, but I'm not sure you mean it."

"Nathan, I want this—"

"Let me finish." Nathan took a deep breath. He struggled to keep eye contact with her so she knew how serious he was. "I know this makes me a jerk, but I need to tell you-I don't want to get married and I don't want to have kids-_ever_."

Haley relaxed and let out the breath she'd been holding in. "Is that it?"

"Haley, we both said we didn't want a relationship when we first met….and that changed so fast. Maybe we were lying to ourselves. I want you to know, that's not the case with this. _I'm not changing my mind about those things_, no matter how I feel about you."

Haley gave him an amused smile as she put her hand to his chin. "Then don't ask me to marry you and don't get me pregnant!"

Nathan remained serious. "You're on the pill?"

"I take it religiously and the chances of getting pregnant are so slim to start with. There's always just a small window of opportunity each month—"

"I know how it works," Nathan snickered. "And I have protection, too. I want to use that—but only for birth control. I've been tested for everything and I'm clean." That had been his religious ritual after being involved with Rachel.

"I'm good, too." Haley looked up the stairs and pointed to the double doors. "Please tell me that's your bedroom and it opens up over the beach?"

Nathan brushed past her and headed up the stairs. He cast a look over his shoulder. "Why don't you come and find out?"

Haley trailed behind him. He stopped at the double set of doors and opened them up. He walked inside and turned on the light. Haley stood in his doorway and turned around. It was just as she thought. There was great view of the part of the living room with cathedral ceiling. She turned back around when she heard a sliding door open. Sure enough, it was Nathan opening up the doors to that wraparound porch she'd seen on the beach.

Before joining him, she took inventory of the bedroom. It was definitely a master bedroom, but not overly large. Off to her right was a bathroom and walk-in closet. Beside that was a tall bureau. Directly ahead was a poorly made king-size bed with a nightstand on the left side. Across from that was _another_ enormous flatscreen tv on the wall. No wonder he didn't like her tv! In the left corner of the room, there was a large pile of dirty clothes. Haley shook her head in disbelief.

She walked towards the open doors and joined Nathan outside at the railing.

Nathan was leaning over the railing looking out at the beach, but pulled back when Haley joined him. He held out his arm. "Come here, beautiful."

Haley pushed up beside him and put her arm around his waist. "I don't think I could ever get used to this."

Nathan rubbed her arm up and down and kissed the top of her head. "You will."

"I guess any sleepovers will occur here from now on."

Nathan turned more towards her. "Not necessarily. I like your place."

Haley shook her head. "You can't," she said emphatically.

"I do. It's small, and cozy and full of you. It's a nice change of pace."

Haley didn't buy that for a second. She gave him an appreciative kiss, anyway. When she broke away, she turned towards the bedroom. "Mind if I use the bathroom?"

Nathan pointed straight across to the far side of his bedroom. "Use that one. I put your stuff in there."

"I'll just be a minute."

Nathan stayed out on the porch, leaning on the railing, looking out at the ocean. He silently laughed at himself. This was supposed to be his last "guy's night"; a night of freedom from ties and obligations. That had lasted long! It didn't matter; there was no place he'd rather be. He also knew how lucky he was considering how the night started. Then, when he thought of the first day they'd met, he felt even luckier. Yeah, it was pretty unimaginable that they were together in this way and about to make love for the first time.

As he waited for Haley, he started to grow anxious. He had to redeem himself for all the mistakes he'd made, including the one she didn't know about. He wanted to keep that one a secret a little bit longer. His main goal for tonight was taking care of Haley. He wanted to show her how much she meant to him; he wanted her to feel that. He was seriously worried he might fail considering how little self-control he had with her. Yeah, he had some serious nervous butterflies fluttering around in his stomach. He couldn't recall ever having them before.

It was because he was in love. This is what it felt like. He had heard people say, mostly on tv and in movies, when you're in love, you just _know it._ If there is one person out there for you and you meet them, you just _know it_. Well, he finally understood those sentiments. Turns out, he had never been in love before, because this time, _he knew it; he was in love_. There was no hesitation. And Haley….if there was one person out there for him, _he knew_ _it was her_. The question was, was he the one for her? There had to be someone more suited for the intellectual, feisty, beauty with a heart of gold.

He was vaguely aware of the opening and closing of the bathroom door. He closed his eyes and tried to mentally prepare himself for their real first time together. After a minute, he was surprised that Haley didn't join him. He turned around and found Haley stretched out across his bed in matching red bra and panties. He let out a slight nervous laughter as he headed towards her.

"You think this is funny?" Haley pouted with her hand propped under head.

"No," Nathan said as his throat went dry. He sat down sideways on the bed and looked her over. He quickly put his hand over her arm when he saw she had goosebumps from the ocean breeze floating through the doors. "You're cold. Let me—"

Haley shot to her knees and tugged at his arm. "No. Keep them open. You'll just have to warm me up."

And just like that, a flip switched inside of Nathan. He fell over her, pushing her back on the bed. He ran his hands hungrily over her body and kissed her zealously.

Haley was enthralled as she experienced this side of Nathan. She was used to seeing the internal conflict in his eyes as he struggled to hold back with her. Well, in this moment, he was letting himself go. She fully sensed just how much he wanted her—and it made her feel so special. This was the first time she had this type of effect on a guy before.

After letting Nathan's mouth and hands explore her for a while, Haley started to try to unbutton his shirt. This proved to be more difficult than she anticipated as Nathan's mouth continued its assault on her lips, face, and neck, while his hands grouped her body. Still, she kept a grip on his shirt and he finally gave in to her demands. He pulled away and instead of taking the time to unbutton the shirt, he pulled it over his head and cast it aside. Haley swopped in and started in on his belt.

Nathan looked down and watched Haley fumble with his belt and pants. He loved her undressing him, but this was taking far too long. He took over and swiftly finished the job.

Haley laughed. "A little anxious are we?"

With that teasing comment, Nathan saw the error of his ways. This is exactly what he didn't want to happen. He needed to cool things down. He pushed down over her and started to softly caress her as he examined her body.

When Haley saw that serious look on his face return, she thought about what she said. God, he was so sensitive. It was that fragile male ego. Although she wanted to get lost in him and the way he was touching her, she was desperate to snap him out of that mood. She looked at him again. He was currently so focused…on her, of course… His body was over half of hers, his lips on her neck and his hand running over her shoulder, pushing down her bra strap. Haley picked up her free leg and pushed her knee towards his body, as a playful reminder, this intimate act involved two people.

Nathan picked up his head and looked down at Haley's extended leg. He shifted over and ran his hand from her knee down her thigh. He repeated this motion several times until he let his hand slide under her ass. As his hand hit the combination of flesh and lacy panties, Haley's body arched towards his. He was about to lose it again. He moved his hand to the side of her panties, and looked into her eyes. There was no doubt. She was ready. He moved back down over her and put his mouth to her ear. "I want to take our time," he whispered as he nibbled on her ear.

Haley moved her ear away from his mouth and put her hands to his back. She moved them up and down to vent her frustration. He was going to kill her with anticipation.

Nathan could read her disappointment. He turned her head back towards his. "Hey….You trust me, baby?" He asked quietly.

"Yes, but you don't need to prove anything."

Nathan just gave her a cocky smile. "Just relax. Let me help you experience things you never even thought possible."

Haley could not stop herself from rolling her eyes. His bravado was a bit over the top. "I am relaxed! It's not like I'm a virgin. You know that!"

Nathan shook his head as he reached under her body. "You are not comfortable with me yet. But once you are-watch out. I can only imagine…."

Haley was a little irritated until she felt the clasp of her bra snap. God, he was good. He did that with one hand! He pulled his hand out from under her back and moved it to her bra strap. He started to push it aside, following it up with a series of kisses. Haley lifted her arm up for him and let him pull the bra off from that side. She watched his eyes widened and the lips of his mouth curled up as she lifted up her other arm. He kept her bra in his hand, as his eyes were memorized with her body. Haley knew from the lust in his eyes that he was attracted to her, but she became self-conscious of way he was staring at her and holding her bra. She reached up and took the bra from his hand and threw it on the ground. She tugged at him to come back down to her.

Just like earlier, Nathan responded with vigor. He started kissing Haley, letting his tongue make its way across her lips and into her mouth as each of his hands fondled her breasts.

She felt like her body was on fire with the combination of flesh on flesh and the work of his hands on her breasts. She struggled to keep up with Nathan's kisses, as she stifled the soft moans trying to escape her body. She moved her free leg up and down his legs with her hands clinging onto his back as she felt his hardened member occasionally brushing up against her body.

The way Haley's body responded to his was another new experience. She truly responded to _every little thing_ he did with some type of sound, twitch or movement. It was incredible the way they turned each other on. When her nails started to dig into his back, he felt a twitch in his own body. His member started to throb. His erection was starting to get the point of being painful. As he tried to push away those thoughts, he moved one of his hands down from her breast, over the soft skin of her torso to her panties. He pushed his fingers to the inside of her panties and moved them under her to cup her bare ass. She lifted up and he started to push down her panties.

As Nathan continued to kiss her while pushing down her underwear, Haley was reminded how his expert actions proved he knew what he was doing. Anxious to gain some ground, Haley moved his hands to the tip of his boxers. She broke free from their kisses in an effort to gain more concentration. Nathan seemed unfazed by this as he found a spot on her neck and started sucking, while his hands moved over her body. One was over her breast, with his thumb running circles over her nipple, while the other was moved up and down the side of her body. For a minute, she gave up and let him have the run of her body. Then, she used her pent up sexual energy by firmly pushing him away from her body.

Nathan was taken aback when Haley forcefully pushed him away. Her strength impressed him. He hovered over her until she sat upright and forced him to her side. She kicked off the panties bunched down below her knees and turned on her side to face him. She reached own and began to lower his boxers. At first, he tried to help her, but she actually smacked his hands away causing him to laugh. "I always knew you would be something."

Haley gave him a dismayed look as pulled the boxers off his feet and tossed them aside. She purposely slowly worked her way up his body with her hands, avoiding his enormous erection. When her hands reached his broad shoulders, she used her grip to give her some leverage as she let her lips hover above his. "What does that mean?"

Nathan tried to answer her with a kiss, but she pulled her head back.

"Un-uh. Tell me what that means. You _always_ knew?"

Nathan let out a frustrated sigh. Damn. She had successfully turned the tables on him. He started to breath heavily to match the pulsating in his member. He needed some relief for that soon. He quickly gave in to her demands. "When we were on that elevator, I thought about what it would be like to have sex with you."

Haley's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "When you found out who I was?"

"No. Before. Then, I when I found out who you were, I made it my one of my goals."

"A goal?" Haley moved off of him as conflicted emotions set in. "Is that why you were okay with me as your therapist? You were just trying to have sex with me?"

Nathan quickly moved back over her. He could read the hurt in her eyes. "No. I swear, that wasn't it. It was like challenge, that's all…Like a bonus."

"A bonus? This is a bonus?"

"No," Nathan said moving his hands down on the either side of her head on the pillow. "This is nothing like what I thought it was going to be. This is not sex. It's making love…with my girlfriend…who I'm crazy in love with."

Haley softened a little. "Are you using me?"

"No…You can't think that. Tell me you don't. Haley, things changed so fast with you. I never intending on getting real therapy and I certainly didn't plan on having these feelings for you. I'm sorry, though. I never wanted you to feel like this. You have to believe me."

Haley believed him. She hadn't intended on having these deep feelings for him either. She put her hand to his head and ran it through his hair as she looked into his eyes. He looked scared….and as weird as it sounded, she wanted to comfort him. She had a feeling that throughout his life, he was punished for his mistakes. In her line of work, admitting your mistakes and learning from them was the most important thing.

Haley took his hand and placed it over her rapidly beating heart. "Nathan, I gave you my heart…"

"And that's enough for me, I swear."

Haley let it go. There was no point in thinking about how things started out between them. It felt like a lifetime ago. She already felt like a different person. "Just kiss me, will you?"

Nathan was filled with relief. She had forgiven him. Once again, he had admitted something he'd done wrong, and she didn't berate him for it or go running. She saw through his thick walls, right into his heart. It gave him hope for the time when he would reveal that one last secret to her. "You're sure?" He questioned her. "We don't have to do this tonight."

"I want to! More than ever."

"You're sure?" He asked again.

"Yeah," she said quietly. "No regrets."

Nathan gave her a kiss then shifted over towards his nightstand. He opened the top drawer and pulled out the package of condoms he stashed there earlier that night. He opened them up and pulled one out and put it down next to the box. He looked at Haley. "I still want a little more time with you."

"Nathan!" She protested.

Nathan moved back over Haley, but shifted them both to their sides. He started running his hands over her body. "What's wrong with me wanting to be naked with you?"

When Haley felt his hand moved to her side, she tried to push it away. This just spurred him on until he finally achieved his goal and started tickling her. Her laughter quickly faded his hand moved in between her legs. "Oh, Nathan," she cried out as his fingers entered her center.

Nathan felt a little guilty when he felt how wet she was. "Baby, you're so ready." Still, her moans indicated she was enjoying herself. He kept going, speeding up movements. It didn't take too long for her come. And the sound of her crying out his name created a feeling of desperation him. He needed to get inside of her and bring her more pleasure.

As soon as he let up, Haley retaliated by moving over him and pushing him flat on his back. She grinded up against him and reached down and grabbed his member. She ran her hand up and down its length. As it became slick, she felt her own urges reaching new heights. She looked up at Nathan. He had his eyes closed and hands up as if frozen. She looked back down at his member. The man was definitely well-endowed, but when he was hard….it was truly unbelievable.

Suddenly, Nathan jerked up and reached over. He couldn't quite reach the condom. Haley handed it to him and moved to his side. She watched as he tore off the wrapper. He winced as he slid the condom over his member. "Jesus!"

"What? Is something wrong?"

"I think I got the wrong kind." When he finished he looked at Haley, again with those serious eyes. "It's fine. I'm just so fucking hard."

Haley's body tingled. She was near giddy with excitement, but also a little nervous. "What if we're not good together?"

"We will be. Maybe the first time won't be so great, but we'll figure it out."

Haley nodded. She let Nathan pushed her to her back. He made sure she was properly placed on the pillow. This time, she was a little grateful for his concern for her. It helped put her at ease.

"Tell me if I hurt you," he cautioned her.

"You won't," Haley assured him. He was always so gentle with her. It was a side of him that she was sure not everyone saw.

Nathan positioned himself at her entrance and quickly started to kiss her as he pushed into her.

When Haley felt him enter her, she lost all semblance of thought. She stopped responding to his kisses and opened her eyes wide. "Oh."

When she realized he stopped, she figured he thought he was hurting her. It didn't…it was just a new feeling and although she had experienced it before, it felt so different. She put her hands over his shoulders. "Come on, Nathan."

Nathan couldn't hide his surprise. She was already urging him on. This was not going to end well. He was going to lose it too early. He moved his lips back to hers, this time just as much to distract himself as he resumed pushing into her.

Haley knew she was crying out each time he went deeper into her, but she couldn't help it. This felt so damn good. It was as if Nathan opened up an entirely new part of her only he could fill….and he was filling it, alright. Every time she thought he was all the way in, she felt him go deeper.

At first Nathan thought her cries were because he was hurting her. After watching closely, he realized it was cries of pleasure. It just motivated him even more to satisfy those needs in her. He paid closer attention to her. Pretty soon, he found one of her spots. He kept his position and started to move methodically. He was right.

Haley's cries turned into a frantic flurry of words. "Oh, yeah….That's it….Right there…Oh, God….Nathan….Nathan…Please, Nathan….Keep doing that."

If he wasn't so focused on his mission, he would have laughed at her. Typical Haley, trying to talk her way through things. Somehow, he managed to keep his pace and seconds later, she screamed out his name. God, it was good to hear her scream his name like that. He looked down at her quivering body. He wasn't even completely inside of her. Did she even know that? Did she know how fast she came? This was much easier than he thought.

"What?" Haley asked self-consciously as Nathan gave her a strange series of looks.

"You haven't seen my A-game yet," he grinned.

"Oh, boy. I'm in trouble," Haley laughed. "Unless you're done for now?" She teased him since she could still feel his hardness burning inside of her.

Nathan laughed wickedly. "You're in for it, James." He put his mouth to her breast and began sucking and sliding his tongue over her nipple.

"Uh-huh," Haley said gleefully. Just as she lifted her leg to brush her toes against his leg, he grabbed her leg and hooked it over his back. As Nathan shifted around, Haley became enthralled with the new sensations of this position. She swung her other leg over his back and pulled his head down to hers and showed him just how passionate she was feeling with her mouth.

With Haley's mouth devouring his and her legs clasped around his back pulling him deeper into her, his body shifted into overdrive. He couldn't help it. Every single thing she did, the way her body responded perfect to hers, clouded his mind and spurred on his body.

"Oh, God, Nathan…This is so good…So good," Haley choked out in between their kisses.

Nathan moved his face to her ear and picked up his pace.

"More." Haley was catching on to Nathan's needs as he got lost in her. He liked hearing her talk like that. It seemed to help wash away that intent look in his eyes and sometimes….he needed to do that. So, Haley kept up her talking, intentionally at first, but eventually, just like how it started, it was her unfiltered thoughts instead of an attempt to massage his ego. "I can't believe this! Uh…." Her words cut off as an explosion took off inside of her; more intense than anything she'd ever experience. It was quickly followed by another one. "Nathan…..Oh….Nathan."

Nathan knew he was lucky. He'd let go just a few seconds earlier, not that she noticed. He couldn't believe that happened again. What the hell did she do to him? He never had that problem before. He remained in top of her, not quite ready to separate from her. "I need to do better," he unknowingly said aloud.

Haley laughed and rubbed his back. "Nathan, that was the most amazing thing I've ever experienced."

Nathan picked up his head and looked at her. "You're patronizing me."

"I'm not," Haley said still laughing as she ran her hand through his hair. "I'm seriously not," she said breathlessly.

* * *

><p>Haley was standing out on the porch wrapped up the bed sheet when she heard Nathan approaching from behind. They had both come down from the high of lovemaking, but neither was ready to go to sleep. They took turns using the bathroom, with Haley going first. She wished she had something to change into, but she didn't, so she settled for that sheet until she could get her hands on one of Nathan's shirts.<p>

When Haley turned around she was shocked to see that Nathan was still naked…and it didn't appear to faze him in the slightest. "Nathan! What if someone sees you?"

Nathan shrugged. "No one comes out here." He eyed the sheet wrapped around her body and smirked. "But if you're really worried, you could share that sheet with me."

Haley rolled her eyes, but nonetheless, opened up for him. He stepped towards her and she closed her arms around him with the sheet. As his hands landed on his hips, a shiver ran down her spine.

In response to her shiver, Nathan moved his hands up her body and around to her back and started to kiss her. His body quickly responded to their naked bodies pressed up together.

"Oh, God," Haley moaned as she turned her head from his. She could feel his need for her and her body was reciprocating.

Nathan rested his head against hers and tried to calm himself down. It was no use. Haley was glowing moonlight with her long hair cascading over her shoulders.….It was ethereal experience…and too alluring to deny.

He used his grip on her to turn her back towards the bedroom. She let him shuffle her to the bed. This time he was going to take care of her the way she deserved.

As soon as they hit the bed, they tossed around a few times as if fighting for control. Haley quickly gave in as her body betrayed her with its desire for him.

Once successfully on top, Nathan struggled to untangle them from the sheet so he could look at her body. Once he managed that feat, he licked his lips as he eyed her shimmering body. "God, you're so sexy."

Haley became embarrassed. She still wasn't used to being looked at like that, especially when naked.

Haley's blush turned even more on. He started to fondle her breasts. "And these are perfect."

Haley immediately thought of that girl in the bar. "I know they're not—"

Nathan moved his hand to her mouth. "Don't. They're perfect. You're perfect."

When he removed his hand from her mouth, Haley asked the question she was now confident to ask. "We're good together?"

Nathan nodded and smiled. He leaned in to kiss her. "So good."

Now feeling a bit more secure, Haley searched around and felt for his member. Holding that was a torturous pleasure. She loved the feel of it, along with Nathan's reaction to her touch, but it also renewed her desires, especially since she knew what it could do for her.

Nathan found himself unable to do anything once she started stroking him. God, she was good. When she stopped for a brief second, he managed to regain his senses and pull away. He crawled over to the nightstand and grabbed another condom. Remembering what happened last time and looking at how hard he was this time, he sat upright and began to put it on. "Shit!"

Haley shifted to her knees and peered over his shoulder. "What?"

"It broke," Nathan said putting the remnants back on the nightstand. He fished the last remaining condom from the box.

Haley knew how frustrated he was. She watched as he carefully tried to put on that last one. "Don't you have one in your wallet?"

"Yeah, but it's downstairs." He'd put his wallet on the end table when they sat down on the couch.

"I can get it," Haley offered.

Nathan finally managed to get the thing fully on. "Got it." He looked over his shoulder. "You're on the pill, right?"

"Yeah, so we don't have to use those if it's too much." Haley was confident she knew her biology. The chances were negligible that she could conceive considering her ovulation cycle and her birth control medication.

"It's just the wrong kind," Nathan assured her. He twisted around and Haley took her cue. She lied back down and opened up her arms and legs for him. Nathan gladly moved in between her in both locales.

Their second round of lovemaking was different. Nathan took more risks with her as he tried to figure out what she liked. He entered her at all sorts of angles as he shifted her legs around and repositioned himself. Haley surprised him by being even more vocal. She took great measures to assure him that each position was satisfying. He could tell she wasn't putting him on. Her twitches and moans gave her away. Then, he learned the telltale sign that she was about to come-she started babbling then grew quiet. According to his count, that had happened three times so far.

It was now apparent to Haley that their first time together had been like a trial run. This was clearly the real deal. Nathan hadn't been joking, either. He knew some serious moves that could silence her mind. Still, she didn't like how serious he was. Currently he was half upright, resting his weight on one hand as he thrust in and out of her. It was quite a view to watch as she eyes kept watching his finely tuned torso moving around, in conjunction with his hardness filling out her center. She was enjoying that immensely, but he'd given her enough pleasure for the night. She put her hands squarely on his sides and tried to still his movements. "Nathan, come closer to me."

"Huh?" Nathan asked panting.

"Closer," Haley cooed. She pulled him down towards her. "Deeper," she whispered in his ear. She hooked her legs over his back, just like last time.

Nathan moved his hands to the back of the bed and gripped the mattress to give himself more leverage. He pushed as far into her as he could. This time, he filled her out completely.

Haley gasped the second he entered her all the way. It set off another wave of pleasure. "Oh, baby….Please, please, please…" She begged him to let go.

This time, Nathan started talking back to her. "You like this? Huh?" He pulled back and met her eyes.

"I do," Haley said solemnly. She quickly became lost in his eyes. Her body began to move with his.

"Haley," Nathan said quietly as their lower halves of their bodies moved as one.

"I love you, Nathan Scott," Haley responded weakly.

"I love you, too, Haley," Nathan replied. This time he was able to wait. When Haley's body arched up and mouth opened with silence, he let himself go.

He congratulated himself. Yeah, he could handle having sex with her.

As he pulled out of her, his confidence faded. "Fuck."

Haley was vaguely aware the something was wrong. "What?" She asked reaching up to touch him.

"The condom broke," Nathan gritted out.

"Oh." Haley sat up. He looked so upset. She put her arms around his shoulders and began to comfort him. "Nathan, it's okay….I promise you. I'm not going to get pregnant."

"I'm sorry," he said apologetically.

"Did you hear me? It's okay. Don't you trust me?"

Nathan looked into her eyes. "Yeah. I trust you."

* * *

><p>Haley woke up the next morning in complete bliss. She could hear the waves crashing and the seagulls squawking and if she sat straight up, she could see the sand from the beach off in the distance and the bright blue sky.<p>

The sweetest sights and sounds were just below her. A naked Nathan was sound asleep snoring softly. She nestled back down on top of him. She wasn't sure she could ever get used to the feel of her naked body on his. Did people really sleep naked like that? How could they? All it did was make her horny. She picked up the covers and looked at Nathan's body. Yeah, it looked like his body had those same urges.

Sensing he was being watched, Nathan opened his eyes. He kissed the top of Haley's head. "How do you feel?"

"Just watching you sleep like that…I can't help but wish it would always be like this—"

Haley stopped talking as the doorbell started ringing.

Nathan pulled her back down. "Ignore it. It's no one important."

The doorbell kept ringing. "Nathan, what if it is someone important? Like Lucas? Oh, my God, you think he found out about us?"

"No," Nathan said confidently. "He's having his big fourth of July bash today. He has no reason to come here." As silence filled the house, Nathan rubbed Haley's bare back soothingly. He didn't think he could ever get used to soft touch of her skin or the sweet scent of her hair.

Haley put her arms up by this head and started to kiss him as she wiggled her body against his.

Nathan moved his hands down to her bare ass; another thing he couldn't get used to. He pried his lips from hers. "Haley James, are you trying to get me going?"

"No," Haley said innocently. "I didn't have to. I saw that you were already ready."

With one swift move, Nathan flipped them over so he was on top. "I'm ready now, Doc." He buried his face in her breasts, lapping them up with his tongue and hands.

"Nathan….Nathan….Is someone calling your name?"

"Yeah….You. You'll be screaming it soon." Nathan started to work his mouth down her body until he felt her stiffen up.

Haley repeatedly smacked Nathan's back. She swore she heard the sliding door from the living room open.

Nathan looked around. They both heard the sliding door close.

"Hey, dumbass!" A voice called out. "You left the back door open! Serves you right for not answering the doorbell or any of my phone calls."

Nathan and Haley froze, both afraid to move as to give away their position.

"Oh, and I know you're here because I saw that the porch doors by your bedroom are open. You're lucky someone didn't come up off the beach and come right in."

Haley looked furiously at the open doors to the beach. She forgot they had a staircase leading out to the beach. "Nathan!"

Nathan put his hand over Haley's mouth. "He can hear you," he whispered.

Haley silently chided herself. Of course Lucas could hear her. She could hear him as plain as day. She could tell he was standing right under the railings in the hallway outside the bedroom and the doors to the bedroom were wide open, creating that echo of voices.

"Nice, little brother. You have a girl up there. I should have known. I'm just not sure if I want it to be Haley."

Haley put her hand over her eyes. "He knows." She quickly opened them and looked out towards the bedroom doors. "Can he see us?" She looked at the doors to the porch. "Can anyone see us?"

"No," Nathan assured her. "Trust me. I checked it all out when I moved in. It's all strategically placed."

"Nathan, I can hear you! Get your ass down here before—"

Nathan sprang up. "Do not come up here!" He walked over and shut the doors to his bedroom, grateful that Lucas had moved to the foot of the stairs and hadn't seen him naked. Who was he kidding? Lucas knew exactly what was going on. There wasn't even a point to hiding it. But he would do it for Haley.

Much to his surprise, Haley was up out of bed with the bed sheet wrapped around her. She was sifting through the clothes from last night. "Nathan, where's your black sweatshirt?"

"In the bathroom," he answered as he put on his boxers. "Hales, I'll take care of Luke. You stay up here." Next, he threw on a pair of sweatpants.

Haley exited his bathroom wearing the long black hoodie sweatshirt. "No. We'll face him together."

Nathan looked skeptically at Haley. "Yeah?"

"Yeah." Haley moved next to him and held out her hand.

Nathan took her hand. "Good…because I don't want to hide this from anyone."

Haley reached out and opened up the double doors. Sunlight filled the room, momentarily blinding them. When recovered they moved forward, hand in hand, to the railings. Lucas was standing directly below.

And he did not look happy.

Haley gave him a sheepish grin and wave. Nathan smiled remorsefully.

Lucas shook his head disappointedly and walked away.

* * *

><p>Preview of next chapter: "Bleeding Love" (Leona Lewis)<p>

AN: First, I wanted to apologize to those of you that offered up your thoughts that Naley weren't ready to take this step. I appreciate the time you took to offer those opinions and they did make sense. I guess I likened them taking this step so soon to jumping into marriage on the show. Maybe they weren't ready and that will be part of the story! Hope you aren't too upset or disappointed. In truth, this chapter was already written and it would have affected my story map too much to change it. I do respect everything you had to say and I hope you continue to offer your thoughts.

Also, I am a major advocate for safe sex! What I am going for here is adding another layer to Haley's character with the idea that she is _convinced_ because of her strong scientific background that by taking the pill and paying attention to her ovulation cycle, she won't get pregnant. That's not to say she will either. Trust me when I tell you that there will be some things that happen in this story you expect/predict and some you probably won't. It all connects back to both of their internal struggles to try to control their emotions and feelings about one another….There are many themes connected to that; Idealism vs. Realism….Emotoinal vs. Rational….Risk vs. Security…. Impulsiveness vs. Planning...Faith vs. Science….Man vs. Nature, but ultimately Love vs. Career.

So here is Lucas….What do you think his deal is? This is where I start to bring in the core secondary characters. Took long enough, huh?

I _hope_ to update again by the end of the weekend! It's Winterfest where I live, but we have no snow, so I'll probably bail on most of those lackluster festivities. I can't believe I haven't been able to cross country ski once this season! On a positive note, it has freed up my Sunday mornings for writing. Creativity is up, exercising is down...


	21. Chapter 21

**Disclaimer #1**: Characters, minor plot points and dialogue belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and _One Tree Hill_ writers.

**Disclaimer #2**: Although my career is in the field of psychology, I have taken a lot of liberties with my story. My background is nothing like Haley's in this story. Her story only has _a little_ basis in reality. I know many people in that field who have given me inspiration for details here and there, but this situation is entirely fictional. Please don't take what you read as fact, especially when it comes to the research discussed and ethics of practicing psychology. As with all my stories, you have to use the suspension of disbelief, just as you do with our favorite tv show. The examples in this story are merely for plot purposes. If you do have questions or concerns about the psychological elements of the story, please feel free to pm. I'd love to discuss!

Chapter 21: "Bleeding Love" (Leona Lewis)

Haley turned to face Nathan. "Why do I feel like we're in trouble?"

"Come on, Hales. He's always known how to zap the fun out of room!"

Haley hit his arm. "Be nice!"

Nathan rubbed his arm. He eyed Haley as she headed towards the stairs wearing his sweatshirt. "You're sure you want to go down wearing that?"

"I'm not putting on those clothes from last night." She cast a look over her shoulder. Nathan was right behind him. "And besides, I don't know where my bra is."

"Maybe I hid it from you," he teased.

"Lucas was right. You are a jackass."

"Dumbass," he corrected her as he pushed past her heading towards the kitchen.

Lucas appeared in the doorway of the kitchen. He crossed his arms and looked them over. He took a step to his left to see Haley. "Haley, I believe the word you used to describe my brother was asshole."

Nathan moved next to Haley and put his arm protectively around her. "Well, she was right. I was an asshole when we first met….but we've moved beyond that."

"I can see that," Lucas said dryly.

"Drop the attitude," Nathan shot back.

Haley took a step towards Lucas. "Lucas, I'm sorry you had to find out like this—"

"Like this!" Lucas laughed insincerely. "I did not find out like this. You want to know how I found out you both we're lying to me?"

"We didn't—" Haley and Nathan said in unison.

"Yes you did!" Lucas cut them off. "I figured it out when you had your movie nights-Then, when you both stopped returning my calls—" He stopped to glare at Haley, "I expected that from him, but not from you—But just to confirm everything, I had those damn updates from Taylor—"

"Taylor?" Haley asked in shock.

"Oh, yeah…Bet you didn't know we were friends on Facebook, huh? Well, she blew your cover when she announced you had a new boyfriend, from Tree Hill of all places. Then all the pictures she posted—"

Haley put her hand to her forehead. "Oh, no…"

Nathan could only remember the picture of them dancing. "Pictures?"

Lucas started to list them off, counting them off on his fingers. "On a ferris wheel, holding hands, dancing, kissing; that's all I can remember but there were more."

Haley looked to Nathan. "I had no idea how many she took. That sneaky bitch!"

Nathan looked at his brother. "Whatever," he said unapologetically. "We're adults, Luke, and we didn't do anything wrong."

"We should have told him," Haley said to Nathan.

"No. You said yourself—" Nathan stopped talking when Haley gave him a sharp look. He shifted gears. "Luke, you were on our ass."

"And this is all new," Haley jumped in. "We were planning on telling you."

"We were," Nathan confirmed. "And if you weren't stalking us, you would have found that out."

"Stalking you? You guys want to know why I decided to pay you a visit this morning?"

Haley took a step back and moved back into Nathan's protective arm.

Lucas narrowed in on Haley first. "I asked Peyton to marry me last night—but before I did that, I wanted some advice."

Haley looked down at her feet and pushed into Nathan's side.

Lucas shifted his attention to Nathan. "And I wanted my best man to be the first to know, which is why I hauled my ass down here before I was hit with a house full of people!"

Haley winced for Nathan as he cursed under his breath and turned away.

Once the guilt started to subside, Haley looked excitedly at Lucas. "What did she say? Did she say yes?"

Lucas immediately smiled. "She did.—"

As soon as she saw him start to smile, Haley clobbered Lucas. She tightly wrapped her arms around him and gave him a fierce hug. "I'm so happy for you!"

Nathan watched as his sweatshirt rode up Haley's ass as she hugged Lucas, showing off her underwear. He reached over and pulled it down.

When Haley felt the tugging on her sweatshirt, she let go of Lucas and shot Nathan a nasty look.

Nathan rolled his eyes and stepped in between her and Lucas and extended his hand. "Congrats, man."

"Thanks."

Haley looked towards the kitchen. "Why don't we go in and have a cup of coffee and you can tell us all about it?"

"Yeah…The kitchen is clean for once, because it turns out my girlfriend is a neat freak."

Lucas followed behind them into the kitchen closely examining the two of them.

"Well, I didn't realize my boyfriend was such a slob," Haley retorted as she held up an old coffee filter from the coffeemaker to prove her point.

"I tried to tell you," Nathan said taking out some coffee mugs. "And Luke, can you believe the first thing she did when I brought her home was make me clean the kitchen with her?"

"I got news for you," Haley interjected. "Your bathroom is next. I honestly don't know if those caked on toothpaste stains are going to come off your sink."

"My maid went on vacation for the holiday," Nathan said defensively.

"You have a maid? And she's been cleaning? How long did it take you make this mess?" Haley asked disgustedly.

"Two weeks. She'll be back on Wednesday."

Lucas pointed to the two of them. "So, this is for real?"

"What?" Nathan and Haley asked almost in unison.

"It's not some act you're putting on to make me feel better about my best friend hooking up with my brother?"

"It's not like that," Nathan answered seriously.

"No, it's not," Haley confirmed.

Lucas pointed to his ears. "Well, I must have a hearing problem though because I know I didn't hear you both use the words 'girlfriend' and 'boyfriend'. It's one thing to read it from Taylor and another to hear it from the two least likely people I know to want to a commitment."

Nathan and Haley shared a smile. On the way to the fridge, he kissed the side of Haley's head.

Haley's smile grew wider. "Things change," she said simply facing Lucas.

"Yeah, I guess they do," Lucas agreed with the hint of a smile.

* * *

><p>The tension between the three of them faded as they shared a cup of coffee and listened to Lucas' story of his romantic proposal to Peyton out on his boat under the stars. The talk shifted into the preliminary plans for the wedding. So far, the plans were to have a traditional church wedding in March, but they still wanted to check with Lucas's mom and Peyton's dad to get their availability.<p>

Lucas stood up to leave. "I have to get going before traffic gets bad." He looked at Nathan. "What time are you heading up?"

Nathan looked to Haley. She looked away.

"Hales, you know you're invited, too," Lucas said.

Nathan looked from his brother to Haley and back to his brother. His look of shocked turned into a mean stare. "You didn't invite her?"

Haley tugged on Nathan's arm. "Nathan, stop it."

Nathan kept his eyes on Lucas, who had guilt written over his face. "You're kidding?"

"I can't go," Haley said loudly. "I have work to do to." She looked up at Nathan. "You know I do and I'm sure he did, too."

"Your mom is around, right?" Lucas asked meekly.

"That was a surprise visit!" Nathan said furiously.

"I can't go," Haley reasserted. "This is stupid because I can't go. In fact, I probably should head home soon." She went over and gave Lucas a hug and kiss on the cheek. "I'll call you later….and Peyton, too. Tell her I said congratulations."

"Peyton does want to talk to you," Lucas told her. "I'm not supposed to tell you this, but she wants you to be in the wedding."

Nathan turned around so Haley wouldn't see him roll his eyes at his brother's lame attempt to make amends.

"Well, I suppose it was just a matter of time before Nathan and I met anyway!" Haley said happily. She turned to Nathan. "I'm going to go take a shower."

"Let me walk you out," Nathan said tersely to Lucas.

As soon as they were out the front door, Lucas started to defend himself just as Nathan was about to lay into him.

"She never comes to anything," Lucas said defensively.

"So, you stop asking her?" Nathan asked extending out his hands.

"I'm not saying it was right, but you must know how busy she is with work and how important it is to her."

"Of course I know that!" Nathan huffed out. "I also know how much she's been struggling!"

"Struggling?" Lucas asked concerned.

"About her father," Nathan said his eyes showing how he was hurt on her behalf. "You're supposed to be her best friend! And this holiday—it's always been important to her family and it's the first time she's not with them."

"I guess…" Lucas sighed in frustration. "I guess I dropped the ball."

"Yeah, you did."

Lucas shifted in his feet and looked at his brother with a twinkle in his eye. "And I guess it's good you were there to pick up on that." He took a step towards Nathan pushed his shoulder. "You did good, man."

Nathan released a half of a smile.

Lucas took a few steps towards his car and turned back around and pointed at Nathan. "And now, you need to figure a way to get her to come! I'm counting on you!"

"She's pretty stubborn," Nathan called out uneasily.

"Yeah, I know," Lucas yelled back. "Boyfriend," he added with a smirk and nod.

Nathan stayed out in the driveway and watched as his brother drove away. He headed back inside and upstairs. He stopped short when he went into his bedroom and found Haley lazily sprawled out on his bed. He took no time in plopping himself next to her. "What happened to the shower?"

"I decided to crash instead, especially since I figured I'd probably have to clean it first before I used it."

"Hey," Nathan nudged her, "how much work do you have to do?"

"I don't know."

"Haley," Nathan prodded her.

"A couple of hours. I got a lot done yesterday. I just want to go through it all one more time and email it off."

"Can you do it from here?" Nathan asked.

"No. I need my laptop."

"It'll take you forever with that piece crap."

"I told you! It's the internet connection!" Haley said insistently.

"Then you should do you work here. I have high speed internet," Nathan happily announced.

"I couldn't do that," she said unconvincingly as she looked out longingly at the beach.

Nathan could tell despite her words, she liked the idea. "Sounds good."

"What does that mean?"

"I'll drive you back to your place, bring you back here to work, then we can spend the rest of the day together."

"No, you have to go to Lucas and Peyton's. They're expecting you. It's a special day."

"Which is why you should be there, too," Nathan said smiling brightly.

Haley realized she'd taken his bait. "I really can't. I want to get this work done and I don't know how long it's going to take."

Nathan sat up. "Then let me take you home right now to get your laptop—then bring you back here. And when it still is slow as molasses, you can use mine."

"Then what? You're going to wait around for me? I wouldn't be able focus that way."

Nathan gave it some thought. "I'll go to the cookout, then come back and get you and we'll go back for the fireworks. It'll be nice and quiet by then. Luke is planning on taking us out on the boat to see them."

"Who will be there?" Haley asked nervously.

"Probably just Brooke and that guy…"

"Julian; I've met him. He's a nice guy."

"Yeah, whatever. She seems into him. So, it can be just the six of us and you can save me from being the odd man out."

"I don't know," Haley said biting her lip. "It seems like a lot for you to do."

Nathan pushed over her and forced her to lie back down. "But you're my girl…and you're worth it."

Haley moved over him and put her hand to the side of his face and squeezed his cheek. "Then, I guess you're worth it."

Nathan lifted up his head up and they shared a kiss.

Haley settled back down lying over him on her stomach, looking up at him. "Why do you think Luke was so upset? Is it because deep down he doesn't think we're good together?"

"Are we psychoanalyzing my brother?"

"Yes," Haley answered seriously.

"Just checking….Okay. Lucas," Nathan said as he attempted to get into psych mode. "You were his best friend. I'm his brother. But he tried to set us up once before, right?"

"He was just going to introduce us…"

Nathan chuckled. "It was a set-up, Hales. He was so pissed at me when I blew you all off."

"Well, he dropped it after that. You think he changed his mind? Just because of that one night?"

"He saw I wasn't in a good way—"

"Did he try to help you?" Haley asked trying to understand. She really didn't know what happened to Nathan after that night since Lucas made it a point not talk about him to her anymore.

Nathan straightened up, taking Haley with him. "He tried to…He tried to bring you into my life."

"I wasn't in a good place then either. Maybe he was trying to help me, too," Haley said slowly. Her frustration set back in. "So, why is he so upset now?" She exclaimed lifting her hands up and down.

"I think it's because we didn't tell him," Nathan said thoughtfully.

"Yeah," Haley said in agreement. "It's because of how he found out….So, why didn't we tell him?"

"Because we didn't know….We weren't sure what this was; at least it was that way for me. I needed to figure it all out myself first."

"Me, too." She looked appreciatively at Nathan. "You're good at this!"

"I learn from the best!" Nathan grinned. "Just imagine if you stayed in Tree Hill and were my tutor, Tutor Girl."

"Hey," Haley said surprised. "Brooke started calling me when she moved out to Cali. How did you know that?"

"I don't know. I just did," Nathan said perplexed. He was slowly coming to the conclusion that over the years he had unwittingly stored all these random facts about Haley.

"Well, I never, _ever_, would have agreed to tutor you back in high school."

"Haley," Nathan said sternly. "You're my therapist. Look where we are now. You don't think I could have convinced you to be my tutor?" He ended his question with his classic smirk.

Haley smiled knowing he was probably right. She looked over at the alarm clock. It was only a little after eight a.m. "What time does the cookout start?"

"People start going around noon….Why?" He asked curiously.

Haley intentionally yawned. "Because I'm too tired to work…I need at least one more REM cycle to boost my brain."

"You want to go back to sleep?" Nathan asked with a glint in his eye.

"Unless you can think of anything else to do?" She asked innocently.

Nathan began to sit up. He had one condom left and it was in his wallet.

"What are you doing?" Haley asked disappointedly.

"Going to get my wallet." He stopped and slowly turned around to face her. "Unless you don't think I need to…"

"You don't need to do that for me," Haley said earnestly.

Nathan nodded. "I guess there's no point now." He slowly began to move back over her.

"It'll be fine," Haley promised him as she welcomed him with open arms.

* * *

><p>By the time Nathan arrived at Lucas and Peyton's for their cookout, he knew everyone had been talking about him. As he walked into the backyard, he could just tell. At first, he was flattered. His tryouts were coming closer and people seemed to be happy for him. After hearing a few poorly veiled whispers, he became agitated. Those looks were not of a congratulatory nature and they were not about his tryouts. Instead, people seemed to be fascinated to hear about his relationship with Haley. Once he knew that, he purposely stayed away from them. The only people he wanted to be around were his close friends and even they pumped him for information. He steered the conversations away from that as often as he could. He deflected by bringing up the other hot topic of the day—Lucas and Peyton's engagement—but it always seemed to come right back to him.<p>

"I thought you said she was coming," Peyton said to Lucas.

"What happened, Nate?" Lucas pressed him as he took a sip of his beer. "I thought you two were tight."

"She has some work—" Nathan started to explain.

"Haley and her work," Brooke said shaking her head.

"Personally, I don't think I'm going to believe it until see it," Peyton added.

"Well you'll be believing it tonight," Nathan said smugly. "She's coming for the fireworks."

"She is?" Brooke and Peyton asked with shock.

"She's driving here?" Lucas asked. "We're meeting where my boat is docked. She's never been there."

"No kidding," Nathan said snidely. "I'm going to get her. I don't want her stressed out. She's got a lot on her plate right now."

Brooke and Peyton exchanged surprised looks.

"I told you," Lucas said looking at both of them.

Brooke pointed her hand towards Nathan. "You're going to drive forty minutes to L.A.—"

"It's be at least an hour with traffic," Lucas pointed out.

"—Then back here—" Brooke continued.

"It'll be at least an hour and a half back," Peyton said out of the side of her mouth.

"—Then back to L.A. tonight?" Brooke finished. "And that's after you drove here. You'll be on the road more than you are here!"

"Yeah," Nathan said angrily. "I'd do that—for Haley. She deserves to have someone looking out for her!"

Brooke and Peyton looked nervously at Lucas.

"I told you," Lucas repeated.

Nathan directed his comments at Brooke and Peyton. "Seriously! I thought you were supposed to be her friends!"

"We were; in college," Brooke said defensively.

"She's always been busy," Peyton said. "Even then."

"Yeah, because she was in one of the top programs in the country!" Nathan said furiously.

"And from what I understand, the doctorate program she's in now only takes fifteen students a year. We didn't want to bother her, Nathan," Brooke said. "This program is even more intense than her undergrad."

"That's the problem with you guys; you don't get her," Nathan said. "You left her alone when she needed you most."

Lucas slowly started to back away. "Okay, I've already heard this rant. I'm going to fire up the grill."

"We tried with her; we really did," Peyton said convincingly.

"I don't think you did," Nathan challenged her. "I think you made her feel bad about working so hard. You made her feel bad for choosing to put her career first. It doesn't have to be one or the other, you know. She has _some_ time for friends. You should have taken her when you could get her."

"Is that what you're doing?" Brooke asked.

Nathan shuffled in his feet. "I'm trying….We're still figuring it all out."

"Things will get real interesting once basketball starts up," Brooke said crossing her arms.

Nathan narrowed his eyes at Brooke. "You don't think it's not going to last." He shifted his eyes to Peyton. "How about you?"

"You're both so different," Peyton said slowly.

"And Haley didn't date much in college." Brooke looked at Peyton. "Maybe just one or two guys?"

"You two think you're telling me something new, but you're not," Nathan said harshly. "I know her….and she knows me. We didn't rush into this. We talked about it."

"You talked about it?" Peyton asked attempting to sound serious.

"Did you talk about what happens if things crash and burn with you two and then you have to face each other in Lucas and Peyton's wedding?" Brooke asked testily.

Peyton swiped Brooke with her hand. "That's enough, Brooke."

"Don't worry about your precious wedding. We'll prove you all wrong; just wait and see!" Nathan stormed off leaving Brooke and Peyton giggling behind him. He joined Lucas at the grill. "They're worse now than they were in high school."

"They were testing you, Nate," Lucas said nonchalantly. The both looked over at the ladies. Peyton and Brooke were smiling at him. "And from the looks of it you passed."

"Whatever….They just better not lay into Haley like that."

"Yeah or they'll have to deal with her knight in shining armor," Lucas joked.

Nathan fell quiet for a moment. "Actually, she's the one who's helped me."

"She's does that," Lucas said. "Sometimes you don't even realize it when it's happening."

"I don't think she realizes it."

"You're in love with her," Lucas said with a cocked eyebrow and nod of his head.

"Yeah," Nathan sighed. "And it's scary….and exciting…all at the same time."

Lucas patted Nathan's back. "Yep. That sounds about right."

Nathan got that sinking feeling in his heart as the fear overtook the excitement. "She's my therapist."

"Come again?" Lucas asked with wide eyes.

"I didn't plan on this happening, Luke."

"Are you crazy?"

"Her boss passed her off to me."

"How is that even possible?" Lucas asked raising his voice.

"She's corrupt—"

"Haley's boss?"

"Her supervisor; the one she's doing all her hours with." Nathan thought about the guilt weighing on him. He had to get it off his chest; at least part of it. "But it was me. I made her do it," he quietly revealed.

"You made her? What does that mean?" Lucas pressed him. "Did you put a gun to her head?"

"No," Nathan scoffed. "I told her I wanted Haley—"

"And she agreed?" Lucas shook his head disgustedly. He didn't given Nathan the chance to finish his explanation. "She is corrupt. I can't believe Haley is working for someone like that."

"She doesn't have a choice and she's put in so many hours already—"

"Nathan, you don't have to defend her to me. I know Haley wouldn't do that unless she had to. I'm just surprised she agreed to take you on a patient. I guess she didn't have a choice though."

Nathan started to regret telling this to Lucas. He didn't want to tell him that Haley had her own agenda when she agreed to take him on. It wasn't his place. "Look, I think I'm going to head back."

"Now? Already?"

"Yeah. She's at my place and I'm dying to get her to admit that her laptop is a piece of shit."

Lucas laughed. "If it's the same one she had in college—you're right. It's time for a new one."

Nathan smiled. "You know, I think you're right….I'll catch you later."

As Nathan headed out he saw that none of the guilt had lifted; if anything it had increased. And he didn't even tell his brother everything about his dealings with Rimkus. Well, it was probably best that Haley be the first person he told about that; maybe the only person. And he would get her that laptop. Yeah, spending money usually helped him get what he wanted and in this case, he hoped it would help him score some points with Haley.

* * *

><p>Nathan held on tightly to Haley's hand as they neared small pier where Lucas' boat was docked. "Watch out. There's a dip here."<p>

Haley carefully watched her feet as she walked. She stepped over the dip Nathan mentioned and then looked at the speed boat off to the right. Brooke and Peyton were sitting at the bow and Lucas was showing Julian the driving gears.

Nathan tugged on Haley's hand. "Hales! Watch it!"

Haley rolled her eyes and sighed. "I can walk, Nathan."

"Just be careful," Nathan said looking at Brooke and Peyton. "It's time for your round of interrogation," he said snidely.

"I know. Wish me luck." Haley had heard all about the reception Nathan received at the cookout. She felt bad for him, but from what she heard, he handled it well. The only thing she was concerned about was that Lucas knew she was Nathan's therapist. She knew that Lucas would address that with her at some point and she wasn't looking forward to it.

They started walking again and when they reached the boat, Haley looked nervously at the gap between the dock and the boat. Nathan let go of her hand and leaned down and pulled the boat to the dock. Lucas quickly came around and offered out his hand. Haley took his hand and tenaciously stepped onto the boat. Nathan followed behind.

After exchanging greetings, Haley settled in at the bow of the boat with the ladies, while Nathan stayed with Julian and Lucas at the back of the boat.

Lucas revved up the engine on the boat. "Alright. We need to get going so we can get a decent spot."

Julian tried to hand Nathan his beer. "Here. Lucas is going to let me drive this."

Nathan laughed at Julian as he saw Lucas flinching in surprise behind him. Nathan left Julian hanging and headed over to the cooler to get his own beer.

"Uh, Julian, it's not a good idea for you to test this thing out tonight," Lucas said gently.

Julian pointed to the steering wheel and gears. "But you showed me—"

"I was just showing you—"

Nathan decided to bail his brother out. He knew there was no way in hell Lucas intended for Julian to drive his precious boat. "The marine patrol will be out tonight. Speaking of that, do we have all the lifejackets out?"

Lucas pointed to the seats at the stern of the boat. "Grab two more for you and Hales."

Nathan put down his beer, flipped up the seat and grabbed the lifejackets. He set one down for himself and crossed the boat heading for Haley with the other one. "Hales, this is for you."

Haley stood up and took the lifejacket from Nathan. She held it out, examined it and started securing it around her. She was in the process of pulling the strap around her waist when she heard snickering around her. She looked up at Nathan. He looked entirely amused. Haley lifted her hands up. "What? Why is everyone laughing at me?"

"Don't you know how to swim? I swear you told me you did," Nathan said trying his best to stifle his smile.

"Yeah, but…" Haley looked around her. No one else had their lifejackets on.

Just as she began to take it off, Nathan clamped his hands over hers. "Leave it on. You look cute."

Haley pushed his hands away and harshly took of the lifejacket. "Why did you give this to me then?"

"You're supposed to have it nearby in case we get stopped by the marine patrol. They'll be out tonight," Nathan explained.

"Well, how was I supposed to know that!" Haley said with great frustration.

Nathan put his hands on her hips, leaned over her and kissed her forehead. "I love how literal you are."

Haley gave him a soft push away. "Go back over there, will you?"

Nathan laughed. Instead of leaving, he headed over to the side of the boat and started to untie the rope that docked the boat. When he was done, he stood up and turned to Lucas, who was at the helm. "Good here."

Nathan looked over Lucas and saw Julian struggling to undo the knot on the rope at the back of the boat. Lucas made eye contact with Nathan and shook his head. They both shared the same feeling; taking Julian out on the boat was similar to taking a little kid out. Just as Nathan was about to head over to help him, Julian triumphantly held up the rope. Lucas promptly shifted the gear to propel the boat forward. Everyone laughed as Julian struggled to keep his balance.

Nathan pointed at Haley, who was comfortably sitting on the side of the boat. "Get the buoy."

"Huh?" Haley asked.

Nathan pointed over the side of the boat.

Haley moved to her knees and looked over the side of the boat.

"Watch out!"

"Ahhhhh!" Haley screamed as she was pushed forward by weight from behind just as a strong arm clasped around her waist. Still bent over, she watched as another arm pulled the buoy up. A second later, she was sharply pulled back up to the boat.

Nathan laughed wildly as he set Haley back down.

Haley put her hand to her chest to calm her rapidly beating heart. "Oh my God!"

Nathan continued laughed. "What? Did you think I was going to drop you?"

Haley began hitting him. "Get away! Go!"

Nathan finally left and Haley settled back down in her seat. Peyton and Brooke immediately leaned in close to Haley. They each spoke as loudly as they could as they competed with the sound of the boat propelling through the water.

"So, give us the scoop, Tutor Girl," Brooke said excitedly.

"Yeah!" Peyton agreed. "How did this happen?"

Haley started to explain. "We met in the elevator going up to my office—"

"The elevator," Peyton said nudging Brooke.

"I was convinced it was being stuck in that safe room," Brooke said. "Tell me that is what turned things around."

"Maybe," Haley said thoughtfully. "No….Not really. The night before we ran into each other at a club and shared a dance. Then he drove me home and we fought—"

"Oh, that sexual tension," Brooke said rubbing her palms together. "I love it!"

Haley looked over at Nathan. He was standing next to his brother at the helm as Julian looked over their shoulders. The sight of Lucas and Nathan, her two favorite men, standing firmly together warmed her heart.

"So, what did you do to him?" Peyton asked, following her glance. "I've never seen him like this before."

"No kidding," Brooke agreed. "He's usually so moody."

"Yeah, well I heard you two weren't nice to him today," Haley chided them.

Peyton pointed to Brooke. "It was her."

"I was looking out for you! In fact," Brooke said proudly, "I used a little something you taught me—reverse psychology!"

Haley shook her head and smiled. "Oh, you did, huh?"

"Yes, I did! We tried to get him to say the things he normally would say—"

"About how that girl didn't mean anything," Peyton mocked.

"Or how it's no big deal."

"She's the one into me."

"She was the lucky one."

Haley put her hand up. "Stop."

"But he didn't say any of that," Brooke said unfazed. "He did the opposite. He gushed about you and defended you."

Haley's cheeks started to turn red. She again looked over at Nathan. He made eye contact with her and her heart started racing.

"I never thought I would see the day when Nathan Scott gushed about a girl," Peyton said.

"We just don't want you to get hurt," Brooke said.

Haley sharply turned her attention back to the ladies. "Is that what you think? You think he's going to hurt me?"

"Just be careful," Peyton cautioned her.

"He's not like you think," Haley said confidently. "He's pretty sensitive."

"Nathan Scott?" Peyton asked incredulously.

"He's one of the toughest guys I know!" Brooke said.

"See what you did there?" Haley sighed. "You labeled him. You know what happens when a person is labeled their whole life? They start to act like the label, whether they're like it or not. You know like ditzy cheerleader-"

"Haley!" Peyton and Brooke said in shock.

Haley didn't flinch. She'd meant to say something that struck a chord with them. "I've gotten to know him really well. And like I said; he's not like you think."

"His dad was a real ass to him growing up," Peyton noted.

"Then what he did to poor Keith…" Brooke said disgustedly.

"We know that Nathan's anger comes from Dan," Peyton explained. "We don't blame him. Dan really-"

Haley interrupted Peyton. "Anger is a masking emotion. There's always something underneath." She paused not wanting to talk about Nathan's private insecurities. There was one other thing that bothered her; something that so many people overlooked. "And you know, Nathan lost his uncle, too. And I know it was horrible for Luke—I mean I was with him when he and Karen came out to Texas—but never once did I hear anyone ever say anything about _Nathan's loss_. Keith was his uncle, too. And his sadness…it was filled with regret. Dan never let Keith be a part of his life and I think Nathan felt that loss in different way than Luke did. I'm not saying it was worse, but…I'm just not sure anyone ever noticed Nathan's grief."

"Wow," Peyton said in awe. "You got a lot further with him that I ever did."

The ladies sat in silence for a minute as they processed their thoughts.

"So, did you two bond over your losses?" Brooke asked seriously.

Haley thought about it. "Not directly….No…..He came with me to a home visit of an autistic boy, Matthew. You should see them together. It really touched me. Nathan is so patient and kind. He's really good with children. But, the thing that I think really made me want to be around him is that he makes me laugh." She looked over at him. "He makes me laugh in a way I haven't in a long time."

"He can be pretty funny," Peyton agreed.

"And it's nice to see you laugh, Haley," Brooke said warmly. "And it's also nice to see you get your head out of those books!"

"Seriously!" Peyton exclaimed. "I'm surprised you came! Luke said you had work to do."

"I did but strangely enough, because I knew I had something I wanted to do, I was able to focus better. If I didn't have anything going on, I think I just would have dragged it out all day."

The girls quieted down as the boat slowed. Up ahead, they could see boats spread out and anchored. Lucas cleverly maneuvered their way to an open spot. As he shifted the boat into neutral, Nathan dropped the anchor and Lucas shut off the engine.

Nathan passed by Lucas, tapping on the shoulder along the way. "Watch this." He kept going and joined Haley, Brooke and Peyton at the front of the boat.

Haley stood up and beamed as Nathan headed in her direction. It was as if she missed him and needed to touch him. She didn't have to wait long, as Nathan stood in front of her and put his hands on her hips.

"Hey," he said huskily.

"Hey," Haley flirted back. "I was just telling Peyton and Brooke how you can see the beach from your bedroom."

Peyton and Brooke giggled behind her.

"What?" Haley asked turning around slightly.

Nathan twisted her back towards him, amused at how clueless she was about what she had just said. "You ready for a swim?" He asked eyeing her jean shorts and tank top.

Haley's smile fell. She looked over Nathan's shoulder at Lucas. Luke quickly turned around. Haley spun around to see Brooke and Peyton.

The second Haley's back was to him, Nathan gave Brooke and Peyton his signal to keep the joke going.

"Did you bring your swimsuit?" Peyton asked.

"Nathan did tell you about our tradition of taking a dip before fireworks, right?" Brooke asked.

Haley looked back at Nathan, then back at Peyton and Brooke. "I didn't kno—Wait!" Haley turned to Nathan and pointed at his outfit; shorts and t-shirt and backwards baseball cap. "You didn't bring your bathing suit."

Nathan raised his eyebrow and smirked. "Not everyone needs a swimsuit, Hales. Some of us like—"

"You always take it one step too far," Haley interrupted him as she stifled her smile and kept her finger pointed at him.

"Is that so?" Nathan asked as he kept his hands fixed firmly on her hips and his eyes glued to her. The sexual tension between became palpable and noticed by their audience.

Haley eyes moved to from his mischievous blue eyes, to his lips, back to his eyes. "Yes. If you didn't throw that last comment in, you might have had me."

Nathan used one of his hands to push Haley's finger away and the other to pull her closer to him. "I think I have you right now."

"Okay!" Brooke said standing up. "Let's keep this PG-13. Julian, make room for me over there!" She brushed past them, heading towards Julian.

Lucas motioned for Peyton to join him with Brooke and Julian. "Come on, fiancé. Let's give the kiddies some alone time."

As Peyton went to pass them, Haley began to protest. "No! You don't have to leave! St—"

Nathan jerked her around and hugged her fiercely. "Let them go. I want to be alone with you."

Haley felt herself melting into his arms. She rested her head against his body.

Nathan loosened his grip. "Let's sit down. The fireworks will be starting soon."

Haley let Nathan take his seat first. He sat down sideways leaning back, leaving a spot open in front of him for her. She sat down in front of him, partially on his lap and leaned with her back against his chest, her head resting just to the side of his with her legs stretched out in front of her on the empty seats.

Nathan rested one hand around her waist and ran his other hand up and down her arm. He kissed her neck a few times and moved his mouth to her ear. "Did I tell you I love you today?"

Haley turned her head. "You might have mentioned that this morning."

Nathan narrowed his eyes at her. "I did?"

"You did," Haley confirmed. She let her lips fall onto his.

They started kissing aggressively as if no one else was around for miles.

It was Haley who finally remembered her surroundings. She pulled away and looked towards the back of the boat. Lucas, Peyton, Brooke and Julian were huddled together drinking their beers and snickering. She watched as they started handing money to Lucas. "They're laughing at us! And taking bets on us! They must think we're crazy."

"I don't care what they think," Nathan said flatly. "Do you?"

"A little," Haley admitted, "but it doesn't matter. I'm in love with you. I want them to see that."

Just then an explosion of colored lights lit up the sky. Haley settled back against Nathan. She basked in the warmth of his arms and watched the celebration in the sky. She let her heart fill with joy and love as she congratulated herself on finally having someone of her own to watch 4th of July fireworks with.

Yes, this 4th of July wasn't what she expected it would be. She never imagined something like this. As if hearing her inner thoughts, Nathan nestled his faced against hers and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

There had to be some divine influence the perfection of those moments. Haley was now certain that it was okay to be happy. With each beautiful display of explosives above, it was if her father was smiling down from above, giving her his approval in the most beautiful way possible.

* * *

><p>After the fireworks were over and the boat was brought back to the dock, everyone helped out unloading and cleaning up. When they were just about finished, Haley said goodbye to Julian and Brooke and headed back to the docks. Peyton and Nathan were heading towards her, carrying some coolers and bags. Haley extended her hands as she reached them. "Give me something."<p>

Peyton kept walking, but Nathan stopped. He gestured behind him. "Luke said he wants you to help him clean. He has a bottle of Lysol ready and everything."

"He does not," Haley said wising up to him. "Luke wouldn't do that."

Nathan started to walk again. "Just go, Hales."

Haley quickly clued in that Lucas wanted to talk to her. It made sense since she hadn't had any time alone with him. As she stepped on to the boat, she braced herself for an earful.

She nearly fell over when the engine turned back on. She looked up at Lucas. She saw that he wanted her to untie the rope close to her. She very carefully did that and finished just as he undid the back one. She walked over and joined at the helm.

Lucas began to steer them away from the dock. "Thought maybe you'd like to take a little spin around…."

Haley smiled. Then her nerves set in. Was that really necessary? Was he still upset with her? Or was he just trying to isolate her so he could talk some sense into her? She kept quiet for a few minutes, pretending to immerse herself in his maneuvers with the boat.

"You want to drive?" Lucas asked.

"No, no," Haley said quickly. She sighed with frustration. "Just let me have it already."

"What?"

"You know….Tell me how you stupid you think I am for rushing into this. Tell me how you think Nathan might hurt me. Tell me that I need to be careful. Tell me that you don't like the idea of us together." Haley looked up at him. He didn't have a particular response. "Luke!"

"You're both adults, Haley," Lucas said with an amused grin.

"Luke! Just tell me what you think! I know you brought me out here for a reason!"

Lucas turned to her with serious eyes. "You ever think maybe I just wanted to see how my best friend was doing?"

Haley's eyes began to get watery. Lucas was her oldest friend and although they hadn't spent much time together recently, they had been there for each other through thick and thin and it took no time for their connection to reappear. "I was just worried you were still upset with me. Is it because we didn't tell you? Was that it?" She asked hopefully.

"I felt like I was being shut out—Then to hear about it from Taylor of all people!" Lucas huffed.

Haley put hand across Lucas' shoulders. "Oh, Luke. I'm sorry."

"I'm the one who needs to apologize. I feel like we've lost touch lately," Lucas said solemnly.

"We're both busy," Haley said dismissively. "All that matters is you're happy! And now you have wedding to plan…It's exciting times!"

"I won't let this happen again, Hales. I want to be a part of your life….even if it involves my knucklehead of a brother."

Haley laughed. "You mean it?"

"If you can put up with him, you can have him!"

"Luke!" Haley elbowed him and laughed again.

"Seriously, Hales, I just want you happy."

"I am," Haley said assertively. "Right now, I'm happy."

Lucas put his arm around Haley and pulled her to his side. He gave her a hug. "Good. And if he does anything—"

Haley pulled away. "Why do people keep saying that? I could just easily hurt him, you know! Why isn't anyone worried about that?"

"You didn't let me finish," Lucas said irritated. "I'm worried about that lady you're working for! Nathan told me she was corrupt….and I'm worried he might do something stupid."

Haley furrowed her brows. "Like what?"

"Nathan is very headstrong. He's also pretty protective." Lucas looked down and let a smile escape from his lips. He looked back up at Haley. "You two are so different, but you're also very alike. I knew you were either going to love each other or hate each other."

"Well, we love each other," Haley said proudly. "And I really want to support him with basketball. He's got those tryouts. He's going to make the team, right? He's that good?" Haley knew she could trust Lucas to give her a fair assessment.

"He can do it…Especially if he's got his head on straight, which it seems like he does." Lucas nodded his head towards her. "But back to _your _supervisor…"

Haley pursed her lips and crossed her arms. "She's been better lately. I think she's overwhelmed." She started to bite her lip nervously. She decided to bring up the taboo topic. "I know Nathan told you I was assigned as his therapist."

"I was surprised about that," Lucas said slowly as if carefully choosing his words.

"I didn't mean for this to happen, Luke. I wasn't supposed to fall in love with him. I just did."

"I know how that is," Lucas said with a roll of his eyes. The same thing happened with him and Peyton.

"Remember when we used to write those predictions and hid them on the roof of your mom's café?"

Lucas laughed and nodded. "Yup. They're still there."

"Well, I remember you writing that one day Peyton would be Peyton Scott."

"I really didn't think that would happen…..Hey, maybe one day you'll be Haley Scott," Lucas teased her with a broad smile.

Haley shook her head emphatically. "Nope. The closest Nathan and I will get to the altar will be at your wedding!"

Lucas gave her a skeptical look. He stepped back from the steering wheel. "Okay, come, Hales. Let me show you how this things works!"

Haley again shook her head.

"It would kill Nathan if he saw that I let you drive this baby. He's been dying to do it."

Haley raised her eyebrow as she looked over the gears.

Lucas gave her a soft push towards the steering wheel. "It's just like driving a car…"

Haley put her hands on the wheel. She smiled up at Lucas. She would like to see that expression on Nathan's face, especially after all the teasing he'd done. It served him right!

* * *

><p>Peyton and Nathan sat side by side on the docks, their feet hanging over the sides, waiting for Lucas and Haley to finish their boat ride. This time around, Nathan found Peyton to be enthusiastic about his relationship with Haley. It confirmed Lucas' assertion that Brooke and her had just been playing him earlier. He chided himself for falling for that.<p>

"It's different with her, huh?" Peyton said, her soft blonde curls lightly swaying in the breeze. "I can see that. We all can. It's nice."

"I just need to be sure I don't fuck it up."

"You won't; not if it means that much to you…..Hey, uh,….Have you heard from Rachel lately?" Peyton asked hesitantly.

"No," Nathan answered simply.

"You know she's going to come back around right?"

"So, what if she does?" Nathan said flippantly. "It's not going to change anything."

"I just wanted you to be prepared….and Haley, too. When you make the team, she'll try to worm her way back into your life."

"Let her try."

Nathan and Peyton stood up as the boat approached from the distance. They watched as it drew nearer.

"What an ass," Nathan spat out. He put his hands on his hips. "This is a fucking joke, right? Luke planned this!"

Peyton began to laugh.

Nathan watched as Haley expertly drove the boat up to the dock. Her proud smile was contagious and Nathan's irritation faded. After docking the boat, he waited for Haley to get off. When she stepped off the boat, Nathan scooped her up and lifted her off her feet. "Did my girl just drive Lucas' pride and joy?"

"Are you jealous?" Haley asked as he set her down.

"No. I get to leave with you, don't I?"

Haley nodded and smiled. She covered her mouth as she yawned. "But I was thinking I'd sleep at home tonight."

Nathan put his arm around her back and started to guide her away from the dock. "Me too. I'm tired since someone kept me up late last night."

"You shouldn't let happen again."

"I'm banking on that happening again!" Nathan moved his hand down to her ass and gave it a grab. "That's payback for last night!"

* * *

><p>Preview of next chapter: "Follow Through" (Gavin DeGraw)<p>

AN: I am very aggravated with this website! It had been up and down for the past few days affecting my ability to communicate since it won't let you login! In some cases, I posted things and lost them and in others I felt like I was in the midst of the communicating with some of you (through pm's) and we got cut off. I'm sorry for that. To address this, I am considering moving my stuff to a new site if this continues. In the meantime, I have put my gmail address on my profile. I hope that helps if communication gets cut off again unexpectedly. This is also the reason I didn't post this chapter last night.

I have a short sneak preview for the next chapter. I almost put it at the end of this chapter, but I wanted to tie things up neatly here. If you're interested in the preview, let me know!

Sorry for any typos/editing issues. I edited it online last night and lost it, so this is the second time around and I lost motivation, especially since this is such a long chapter.

Hope to hear from you!


	22. Chapter 22

**Disclaimer #1**: Characters, minor plot points and dialogue belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and _One Tree Hill_ writers.

**Disclaimer #2**: Although my career is in the field of psychology, I have taken a lot of liberties with my story. My background is nothing like Haley's in this story. Her story only has _a little_ basis in reality. I know many people in that field who have given me inspiration for details here and there, but this situation is entirely fictional. Please don't take what you read as fact, especially when it comes to the research discussed and ethics of practicing psychology. As with all my stories, you have to use the suspension of disbelief, just as you do with our favorite tv show. The examples in this story are merely for plot purposes. If you do have questions or concerns about the psychological elements of the story, please feel free to pm. I'd love to discuss!

Chapter 22: "Follow Through" (Gavin DeGraw)

Haley left her office and went over to reception area to pick up the materials she'd just printed out. It included a finalized copy of her experimental design and the data tracking sheet to be given out to all of the researchers involved in the grant project. Dr. Greene had loved her work and made a few suggestions for revisions. Now that the design process was complete, the data collection phase was set to begin. Over the course of the next three months, Haley would be in a holding period, waiting for her results. During that time, she planned on loading up on clinical hours and doing work for Dr. Greene as a part of the Stanford study.

She was rifling through the papers on the top of the printer when she heard a familiar voice.

"I'm here to Ms. James."

Haley kept her back to him. What was he doing here? He definitely wasn't supposed to come to his appointment. She'd explicitly told him to stay away. He must have known she would have to hide her feelings for him there. Is that what he expected? Or did he have something else in mind?

Haley closed her eyes and took a deep breath as she tried to regain her composure. No matter what his reasons were, it didn't change the fact that she had to deal with him now.

"Haley….Haley…" Nina said loudly.

Haley looked at Nina. Nathan was standing behind her out in the reception area. When they made eye contact, her heart started to beat wildly.

"Mr. Scott is here," Nina said. "Would you like me to tell him to come in?"

* * *

><p>Once inside her office, Haley walked over to the windows, crossed her arms and looked out at the beach. "What are you doing here?"<p>

Nathan took a seat on the couch. "I had an appointment."

Haley turned around. Nathan was leaning forward with his hands clasped in his lap. He looked serious. "I told you that you shouldn't come anymore. Things….things are going to get weird now."

"They're already weird. Look, I was just hoping I could come here to talk to you. It's easier for me to do this here."

Haley started to panic. Was he breaking up with her? Was that what he came here to do? She put one hand over her eyes. "I can't. I can't do this here."

Nathan had to fight to restrain himself from comforting her. He knew that wouldn't help his cause. He needed to prove to her that they could keep things professional in her office. "Can we try? Let's just give it ten minutes. I already know what I want to talk about."

Haley dropped her hand from her face. He wanted to talk—like in a therapy session? That was it? She could try that. She would just have to flip that switch from girlfriend to psychologist. She likened to the way an actor prepared to switch gears and go into acting mode. She tapped into the part of her that suppressed her feelings when she was having a bad day and resolved not to take it out on her patients. She usually got into that mindset when she reviewed her patient's notes before their sessions. Today, she would just have to make due and do it on the spot. "Let me get my notepad."

While Haley went over to her desk, Nathan took a tissue from the end table and wiped down the beads of sweat from the side of his face. As Haley began to make her way back over, he cleared his throat. He uncapped the bottle of water he brought with him and took a long drink.

When Haley sat down across from him, she noticed that his cheeks were pink, some of his hair looked damp and he had brought bottle of water with him. It all clicked as she remembered something Nina had said. "Nathan, did you take the stairs today?"

"It's good exercise."

Haley resisted the urge to move the empty spot beside him so she could soothingly put her hand on his back. "I take the stairs, too," she sighed.

"Oh," Nathan said surprised. Small confining places were an issue for her, too. Well, that was something they could talk about on their own time. He wanted to keep their sessions as close to possible to their suited intent. "I was hoping we could talk more about how to deal with my anger issues."

"Okay," Haley said nodding her head seriously. She was hit with the same force of energy she felt when she was helping a patient. "What did you have in mind?"

"You said there were some strategies I could use—or learn? Redirecting? Something like that?" Nathan asked vaguely recalling their first session.

Haley nodded again. "Yes, that's one of them. There are so many actually. Every person is different, so it's a matter of trying things out to see what works for you."

"Well, then, can you tell me what you think will work? What I should focus on? You see, I've got a lot of things to work hard for coming up."

"When are your tryouts?"

"Second week of August." Nathan hesitated for a moment. In the end, he couldn't help himself. "But you see, I also have this new person in my life-and she's going to be around for a while—so I want to clean up my act for her."

Haley scribbled away on her notepad, biting down on her lip to keep from smiling, fully aware of her brightening cheeks. Luckily, this all quickly passed. Her desire to help him, _her patient_, outweighed that giddy school girl feeling inside of her. She looked up and made direct eye contact with him. He quickly turned serious and straightened up. In that moment, Haley's confidence surged. She knew this could work. He could come in here for the rest of his sessions and they could put everything aside and she could treat him as her patient. Her mind was already bursting with ideas about things they could talk about. She began to speak animatedly about the first one. "One of the things we can talk about is how to appropriately express anger. Can you think of a time when you don't believe you weren't able to do that?"

Nathan pointed towards her notepad. "How much room you have in there?"

"I just need one example," Haley said cautiously. "I'm not trying to dig here. In cognitive therapy, we don't just talk about problems, we come up with solutions. So, just think of one example and we'll run through it."

Nathan sat back. He took a minute to think it over. He wanted something that related to his issues with his father, but also connected with basketball, since that was the most prevalent issue in his current life. "There was one time, back in high school, when I got upset with my coach—Whitey…."

* * *

><p>Nathan had to look at the clock twice to check the time. God, that hour had gone by fast. He took a deep breath and gave Haley a half-smile. "Thanks, Doc. I think this was the start of something good."<p>

"It was," Haley agreed. They had a very productive discussion, very similar to the one's she had with other patients.

Nathan picked up his empty water bottle, stood up and took aim at the trash barrel. "Score!" He said after making his shot. He put his hands on his pockets and smiled. "So, next week same thing?"

"I guess so," Haley said hesitantly.

"I thought you said went good."

"Well….It went well….But I guess I'm just nervous."

"No one knows," Nathan said.

"Knows what? That we're a couple or that I'm your therapist?" Haley asked.

She brought up a good point. The memory of him getting up on the stage at the club declaring Haley James was his girlfriend flashed before him. Yeah, that probably wasn't the best idea. "I guess a lot of people know we're a couple. Probably less people know about the therapy?"

"I should ask Taylor to take down those Facebook pictures," Haley said following along. "I don't have an account. Do you?"

"I barely check it."

"Well, I'll ask her to do it."

"What about the bar? People there know about your job….People like Owen?" Nathan asked.

"We don't have to worry about him. It's people like Damien." Yeah, it probably wasn't the best idea to keep meeting up at that bar either. "Why didn't we think of these things earlier?"

"I don't think we were thinking," Nathan admitted. "But we are now. We can keep things separate and be smart."

"We can set up some boundaries….Like no calling me here or bringing me flowers," Haley said sternly.

"And I need to keep this from people like Clay, my agent, and anyone else who is connected with basketball."

"What about Dr. Rimkus?"

"Does she go to that bar? Does she have a Facebook? Or does she know anyone who might have went to that Chris Keller show?"

"I don't think so, but believe me, I'll know if she finds out." Haley quickly shook that off.

"So we keep things quiet for now?" Nathan asked.

"And separate….At least until I'm done treating you and you make the team and this stuff with Dr. Rimkus blows over." Haley nodded and stood up. "That'll work." It had to. What other options did they have?

When Nathan took a step toward her, Haley held up her hand. "As long as you follow through."

"On what?" Nathan asked amused at her attempt to keep him from getting close to her.

"Everything I say!" She brushed passed him and headed to her desk to set down her notepad. "So here in this office, we are just therapist and patient."

"Got it, Doc. So I think I'll leave now, so I can send my girlfriend a text message seeing if she's free tonight."

"Wait," Haley said unfazed. "Are you going to take the stairs again?"

"Uh," Nathan hedged, "it's not that I'm afraid, it's just _easier_ to take the stairs."

"That's what I tell myself, too," Haley said looking down. She brought up her eyes to meet his. "You know they fixed it; for real. There hasn't been a problem for a week. Why don't we test it out? Together."

"You want to go out there together? Wouldn't that look bad?"

"It's like a therapy exercise. Even Nina knows we're both afraid of the elevator. And besides, isn't it better to hide in plain sight?"

"You're the psychologist," Nathan pointed out.

"Almost a psychologist," Haley corrected him. She waved towards the door. "Now go."

Haley followed Nathan out of her office and towards the reception area. She stopped to explain to Nina. "Hey, Nina….We're doing some desensitization exercise with the elevator. I'll be back in five minutes."

About to answer the phone, Nina gave her a thumbs up.

Haley took a few steps and turned back around. "Uh, if I'm not back, please make sure the elevator is working."

"It'll be fine," Nina said dismissively.

Haley left the office and met Nathan in front of the elevator.

As soon as she saw her coming, Nathan pushed the button for the elevator. It came very quickly. To his relief, it was empty. He looked back at Haley. She was as white as a ghost. He decided to take the lead. He stepped inside and held the door open for her.

Haley stepped inside of the elevator. She stood on the opposite from Nathan and focused on inhaling and exhaling. Once the elevator doors closed, she looked over at Nathan. He had his eye closed and was nursing the tightly clenched knuckles of one hand in the other. Haley slowly began sidestepping her way towards him. When she reached him, she grabbed his hand in held it in hers.

When he felt her touch, Nathan's eyes flew open. He gave her a sheepish smile.

Their eyes remained locked and their breathing evened out until the elevator came to a stop on the fifth floor. Haley let go of his hand and retreated back to the other side of the elevator. A man in business suit joined them.

When they reached the lobby, the three of them stepped out. Nathan and Haley hung back as the businessman left.

"Thanks, Doc," Nathan said gratefully. He nodded at the elevator. "You taking it back up?"

"I think I will," Haley said confidently.

"Okay…I'll uh, see you next week." Nathan gave her a simple wave goodbye and headed towards the front doors.

Haley pushed the button for the elevator. The door opened immediately. She swiftly walked inside. Three floors up, she pushed for the elevator to stop. When the doors opened, she ran outside, gasping for air.

As she headed for the stairwell, she told herself that making it up three floors weren't bad. Maybe next time she could do five.

* * *

><p>Haley was exhausted when she crawled into her bed. It was Wednesday night and for the past week she and Nathan had spent almost every night with each other. The only exception was Monday night. Just like the previous week, they found it easier to have a semi-normal therapy session after spending the night apart. Tonight appeared to be a break from the routine they were falling into. Or maybe not….A smile spread over her face as her phone rang.<p>

"Hello," Haley cooed into the phone.

"Hello," Nathan answered back.

Haley smiled widened and her cheeks blushed as she pictured him with that smirk and those blue eyes. "So…."

"So…." Nathan repeated back, anxious to get her riled up.

"Nathan, you called me, remember?"

"Right, I did. What are you doing?"

"Getting into bed. I just got home a little while ago."

"Working late, huh? I guess that means you're too tired to come over."

Haley sat up. She looked down at her pajamas. The thought was seriously tempting. She wished they had talked about this earlier. She was too tired to go over there now. "I can't. I wish I could, but I can't."

"It's okay. I've caught on to your schedule. You like to work late Monday and Wednesday nights because you have your visits with Matthew on Tuesdays and Thursdays."

"That's right," Haley said surprised. She slowly began to get out bed and headed into the living room.

"So, Monday night I give you the night off," Nathan continued, "and Wednesday night—"

Haley opened the door to her apartment to that smirk and those blue eyes. She put down her phone. "Wednesday nights you spend here," she finished. She should have known. He'd shown up last Wednesday night as well.

Nathan went inside her apartment. He set down his phone, car keys and the wallet from his back pocket on her coffee table. "Are we going right to bed?"

Haley finished shutting the door and locked. She moved past him, only stopping long enough to take his hand. "Yup. And going to sleep."

"That's why I came. Wednesday night is cuddle night."

Haley shook her head as they got into bed. "I seriously don't know why you came here. If you wanted to cuddle, we could have done that at your house. You should have texted me earlier."

"But I like your place." Nathan turned on his side to face her. "And I sleep good here."

"Here? In this tiny bed? You barely fit!"

"I feel like we don't move around as much," Nathan said honestly. "My bed may actually be too big."

"You're crazy," Haley scoffed. "My place is like a Motel 6 to your Taj Mahal."

"I like it here," Nathan stressed pulling her into his arms. "You can't go too far, so I get to keep my eye you, Doc."

Haley ran her hand through his hair appreciatively. "I do like having you here."

"You ready for the visit with my boy tomorrow?" Nathan asked. He hadn't seen Matthew since the day they shot hoops. He figured he was about due for a visit.

"Yes. We're heading out into the field….a trip to the mall. Want to come?"

"Yeah? Would that be okay? I don't want to mess anything up."

"It'll be fine. It's the mall though; keep that in mind. Being out in public is a little different. Linda wants me to see him at the carousel they have by the food court."

"Hey! They have a carousel like that at the mall in Tree Hill!"

"I forgot about that. Anyway, Linda has an appointment to get a new pair of glasses. I think she was hoping I'd watch him while she snuck off and did that. I could use some help with him."

"I'll help. As you saw, I'm great with amusement rides."

"He just likes to watch, Nathan." Haley also knew if there was anyone who could get Matthew to go on that carousel, it probably was Nathan.

"Then, we'll just watch. Just like I'm going to watch you fall asleep right now," Nathan said bugging his out at her.

"Stop," Haley said covering his eyes and laughing. "Now, go to sleep. You're going to need your rest for tomorrow."

"Because you're going to keep me up late tomorrow night?" Nathan asked with a suggestive raise of his eyebrow. "How many rounds are we going to go? Just so I can time my workout—"

"Stop! Stop or you won't even make it to first base!" Haley said huffily. Now that their relationship had turned sexual, Nathan's greatest joy seemed to be teasing her about how much she enjoyed sex. Haley didn't have any sufficient comebacks for those jokes, which aggravated her to no end. Yeah, when it came to sex, he had her right where he wanted her and there wasn't a damn thing she could do about it. She had so little self-control when it came to being with him.

"You know, the other day I was reading about how girls reached their sexual peek later than guys. I think that explains-"

"Nathan Scott! Tonight is cuddle night; your words!" She reminded him. "Stop talking about sex!"

"Okay then." Nathan started pushing at Haley's shoulder. "Turn around. We're spooning. I can't be with you like this."

"So now you're going to punish me!" Haley said fighting him off. "What if I want—"

Nathan looked at her tank top pajama top. "I cannot have your breasts in front of me like this." He looked at her face. "Or those big brown eyes."

Haley testily turned around.

Nathan's arm slipped around her waist. He pulled her into him and moved his mouth to her ear. "Oh, now I have to deal with that serious ass."

Haley was flustered. Even worse, all this frustration and tension were turning her on. How the hell did he know about that sex stuff? He said he read that? About female sexuality? Because it was true, both scientifically and in her case. Her body was opening to all sorts of new experiences, all with Nathan at the helm. In a way, she resented his sexual prowess and how it made her lose control. Then it hit her. Yeah, she had something she could use against him.

Nathan started to think he pushed Haley too far. He moved his hand under her shirt and began rubbing her stomach. "Are you mad? Because I can't help that I get worked up whenever—"

"You read?" Haley challenged him. "Because I've never seen you with a book or even a magazine. In fact, I don't think you have a single book in your house."

"I read," Nathan said defensively. "I read stuff online."

"About sex? You read about sex on your computer?"

"Uh-Well…" Nathan stammered. He had no idea what to say. "I was just teasing you. Maybe we should just go to sleep."

"You let me use your computer, remember?" Haley reminded him. "So, I know all about the porn sites you've bookmarked!"

"Fuck," Nathan cursed. He had no defense there. He'd forgotten all about those. "You know it would be nice if a guy had a little privacy in his own home."

Haley turned around and shifted up. "You wanted me to use that computer! You told me anytime-"

Nathan put his hands up defensively. "I know, I know. It's just-I haven't been to those sites in a while, okay? Not since we got together. And I told you how I wasn't sleeping around before that. What do you expect?"

Haley hadn't intending on this conversation getting serious, but she wanted to let Nathan know how she felt about that stuff. "I know how people," she paused as she tried to fine the right words, "have needs, but I hate how those websites set unrealistic expectations of women."

"It's not real. It's like a fantasy."

"So you fantasize about women like that?"

Nathan finally sat up as he saw this conversation was not about to come to an end. "No….I was lonely back then and didn't want to go a bar and pick up some random girls—even though that's what my teammates were doing. I was trying to change. And now that I've met you, I don't need to fantasize about other women or look at those sites. I have you." He put his arm lightly on her shoulder. "And trust me, Hales, what we have is so much better than any fantasy or anything on a website."

"You're just saying that," Haley said unconvinced.

"Did you not hear me tonight? About how turned on I get just being next to you? This has never happened to me before. I came over here because I wanted _to sleep_ next to you. But I also knew, you know, after last night," Nathan said hesitantly, "that you wanted to take a break tonight. Just like last week."

Haley nodded solemnly. The past two Tuesday nights had been full of passion like she'd never known it. It was as if both of them had pent up sexual energy from being apart Monday nights and keeping their emotions in check during their therapy sessions that things exploded when they met up later. Both evenings resulted in late nights with things getting more and more ramped up as time when on. Then, the next morning, when Haley found her body to be sore and tender and Nathan woke up with a stiff back, they both agreed a night off from sex was in order. "You really don't look at that stuff anymore?"

"When would I do that? When you're at work, I'm sleeping, working out, out on the beach, watching basketball films, or getting harassed by my agent. Then, we spend practically every night together. And when we're not together we text and call each other. I don't have time for that crap anymore, I swear."

Haley lied back down and ran her hand through her hair. "I believe you. I just get a little self-conscious sometimes."

Nathan hovered over her, but kept his head held high. "You have nothing to be self-conscious about. I love you. I love the person you are. I love how good we are together. I even love you call me out on my shit. Don't change." Unable to keep away from her any longer, Nathan swooped down and rubbed his face into her neck, sneaking in one single kiss on her chin before he pulled away. "And don't go anywhere, either."

"Where would I go?" Haley laughed.

Nathan propped himself up on his elbow and smiled at her. "The laundromat."

"What?" Haley asked moving to her side. "What are you talking about?"

"This is what I was thinking about today. You know, after my run, but before my weights when I _wasn't_ surfing porn sites," Nathan joked. "I was thinking about where you do your laundry."

"Are you sure that wasn't a porno because that sounds like some cheesy set up!"

"Doctor Haley James, have you watched some porn before?" Nathan asking feigning shock.

"No! I've just heard—"

Nathan pointed his finger squarely at her. "You're lying. I can tell."

"You cannot!" Haley insisted.

"Look me in the eye, James," Nathan said pointing to his eyes. "Right here. And say it."

Haley ran her lip through her teeth. "Brooke and Peyton-"

"HA!" Nathan fell on his back started laughing. "I knew it! I can't wait to bring this up when we have dinner with Luke and Peyton on Saturday night."

"Go ahead! She'll tell you. I didn't have a choice and I covered my eyes! I was sleeping over Brooke and Peyton's apartment in college because we were having all these fire alarms going off every two hours and I needed my sleep! And back then, they were both single living together and Brooke tricked me into having vodka! She put it in my Coke! Who does that? Then, we ordered this move on demand—okay I was the one ordered it. I thought it was _Must Love Dogs_ with John Cusack, I swear. Then, Peyton said we weren't wasting that money—Ugh!" Haley finally gave up trying to explain when realized Nathan wasn't listening to a word she was saying. "What did you want to know about laundry?"

"Well," Nathan said dryly, "I was honestly wondering where you do your laundry. And when I say that, I mean I wondered _where you wash your clothes_ because you don't have a washer and dryer here. So, keeping a _clean mind_, Hales, where do you bring your dirty clothes?"

"I go to the laundramat down the street," Haley said still perplexed.

"By your bank?"

Haley nodded. "Why?"

"Just what I thought. Great neighborhood," Nathan said showing his dismay.

"What's wrong with that?"

"It's not safe. To be honest, I don't like you going there alone." As Haley started to protest, Nathan put his hand up. "I know. I'm not telling you what to do. I just thought I would kindly put the offer out there for you to use my laundry room. And, you know, if you wanted to throw in a few of my things will you were doing that, you have my permission."

"You want me to do your laundry," Haley said fighting off her amusement.

"I have someone to do my laundry. Alana came by today. You should see the place. It's spotless."

"I bet! I cleaned your bathroom last night!" Haley said miffed.

"And don't you think she knew that? She's dying to meet you."

Haley shook her head. He always seemed to find the perfect balance between riling her up and then saying something sweet to melt her heart. "I don't know what I'm going to do with you! Where did you come up with all of this?"

"I was worried about you. I like your apartment, but I'm not crazy about the neighborhood. And I noticed how pack like you're going on trek when you come to my place, so I cleared some space for you. That way, you can leave some work clothes there. Then, I figured out it made sense if you did you laundry at my place."

"I'll think about it," Haley said casually. She knew, just knew, if she started doing her laundry there, she'd end up doing his too. Still, it was an enticing offer that would save her a lot of time. Not to mention, she despised going to that sketchy laundromat. "We should probably get to sleep. I'm warning you; Matthew is probably going to be a handful tomorrow."

"Haley, I know what I'm getting into. I can handle him."

It wasn't just Matthew she was worried about. They were going to be out in a public setting and sometimes the public could worse than any screaming child.

* * *

><p>Nathan, Matthew and Haley sat on the bench in front the carousel watching the colorfully painted horses bob up and down in conjunction with the chirpy music. Nathan used the arm he had extended across the top of the bench to tap Haley's shoulder. "See! I told you it would be fine."<p>

Haley just rolled her eyes. Sure, everything was fine now. They had been sitting there for over a half hour with Matthew just staring at the carousel. Just wait until it was time to leave; that was going to be a problem. Luckily, Linda seemed to have a plan in mind. Apparently, they did this often and the only way she could get him to leave was the bribe of a chocolate chip cookie from the food court.

"Hey, Hales, you ever go on the one in the mall back home?" Nathan asked.

"Yeah," Haley grimaced. "My dad used to take me."

"So, what? You didn't like it?" Nathan asked.

"That thing is full of so many germs," Haley said in hushed tone. She shuddered just thinking about it.

Nathan snickered. "Boy, I would love to get you on that."

"Not going to happen," Haley said shaking her head.

As the carousel stopped, Matthew stood up and began flapping his arms.

Nathan and Haley exchanged surprised looks as they stood up.

"You said he doesn't go on, right?" Nathan asked Haley.

"That's what Linda said." Haley pulled out her phone. "I'm going to text her."

Matthew began jumping up and down and pointing.

Now Nathan was sure that Matthew had been listening. He had to keep reminding himself that although the kid didn't talk much or make eye contact, he understood what was going on around him and he listened to everything. "Hey, Buddy, you want to go on?"

Matthew let out a high pitched squeal and flapped his arms as he jumped up and down. The people around them, including the ticket attendant and carousel operator, gave them strange looks.

Haley looked up from her phone. "Linda said it's okay. She's almost finished and will be over soon." She looked over at the carousel. There were only about ten people standing in line, but several of them were staring at Matthew, creating an uncomfortable situation. "Maybe we should wait until she comes back," Haley said quietly.

Matthew began shouting as he pointed frantically at the carousel. "AHHHHH! 23! 12! 23! 12! AHHHH!"

Nathan started to grow uneasy. He didn't like the way people were looking at them. Some of them work blank expressions as if they didn't know what to make of this, but were unable to stop watching. Others were giggling and whispering. A few, including the college age kids working the ride, wore expressions of disgust. He took Matthew's hand. "Come on, Buddy. Let's go see if we can get on this ride."

The three of them began heading towards the line.

Haley could tell right away this was going to be a problem. Both the ticket attendant, a young female with ponytail chewing a wad of gum, and the carousel operator, a young man with a baseball cap, were anxiously watching them as they came over. They sped up the line, taking money and ripping tickets so that right when Nathan, Matthew and her approached, they slammed the gate closed.

"Sorry," the girl said. "Tony's getting this going," she said pointing at the guy that had just hopped on the carousel.

"Are you kidding me?" Nathan said harshly. He looked at the children milling around trying to pick out their horse to ride on. "They're not ready. Let us get on!"

"Sorry," the girl repeated. She turned her back to them and walked the away.

Nathan turned to Haley. "What a bitch!"

"Nathan!" Haley said eyeing Matthew.

"Sorry," he gritted out. He looked down at Matthew. The little boy was holding on to this hand staring at the carousel. Nathan bent down he was eye level with him. "Hey, Buddy…We'll get on the next ride, okay? Ready to watch one more time? We can pick out which horse you want."

Nathan held out his arms and Matthew put his hands out. Nathan picked him up. As the ride began, Matthew began flapping one of his arms and squealing as he pointed towards the horses. Matthew's excitement transferred to Nathan. It was such a good feeling to experience this kind of simple joy with an innocent child.

Haley stood back, discreetly taking notes on the notepad lodged in her purse. Once she was done, she looked over at the ticket attendant that had returned to the booth. She walked over to her. "Excuse me. Is it possible to buy our tickets now? I'd like three."

"It's going to be a _really, really, long_, ride," the girl said drawing out her words. "And your son does not seem like he wants to wait. Why don't you take him somewhere else?"

Haley decided it was time to try and explain their situation to this girl. In a perfect world, she wouldn't need to do such a thing, but Haley learned a long time ago, through her experiences with the nephew, that sometimes people were simply unaware of the special needs of others. "Matthew is not my son, but he is a special child." She extended her hand to the girl. "My name is Haley. And you are…."

"Amy," the girl said reluctantly shaking her hand.

"Well, Amy, we really want to go on this ride and as you can see, Matthew here is very excited. He might not show his emotions like other children, but I assure you he wants to go on this ride."

"Well, we don't have the ability to clean up after children like him," Amy said sticking her nose up in the air.

Haley gave her a befuddled look. She had never heard something like that before. Did she think Matthew wasn't toilet trained? Or would get sick? Haley tried to shake it off. There were probably instances where that did happen—with any child. Maybe Amy was coming of a shift where that happened recently. "He won't be a problem. And if he is, I'll take care of it."

"Whatever," Amy said rolling her eyes. "Three tickets?"

Haley nodded. She slid the money to the girl, took the tickets and went back to Nathan and Matthew.

As Matthew squirmed in his arms, sometimes getting so excited that he kicked him, Nathan kept locking eyes with Tony, the operator, as the carousel swirled around. He swore the guy doubled the normal time of the ride just to spite them. By the time the ride was over, there were about twenty people behind them waiting to get on; the most they had seen while there.

Nathan was content to let Haley hand the tickets to Tony, but he was sure to glare at him as they passed by. The headed onto the carousel, with Matthew still in Nathan's arms. "Okay. Which one, Buddy?"

As if a switched flipped in him, Matthew started clinging to Nathan and refused to look at any of the horses. As Nathan tried to coax him, Matthew began kicking and squealing. Haley directed them to one of the benches so that they could sit down on in lieu of riding a horse.

The three of them sat down and Matthew slowly picked his head up.

"It's okay, Matthew," Haley said as she resisted the urge to pat his back. She knew he hated being touched like that. "We can just sit up here and watch."

"You would say that, you germaphobe," Nathan teased.

From a behind them, a toddler began screaming. Matthew quickly put his hands over his ears as if he was in pain. Nathan looked to Haley.

Haley stood up. "Let's move."

Nathan stood up and carried Matthew to the other side of the carousel. Just as they found the other bench, the carousel started moving. Nathan silently cursed that damn operator. To his relief, Matthew began pointing at the horse in front of them.

Nathan very carefully placed Matthew on the horse when it was at its lowest point. He stayed right next to him, keeping his hands on his waist as Matthew put his hands on the pole in front of him. He began bobbing up and down excitedly and squealing in delight. Haley and Nathan laughed and smiled as they watched him. They shared feelings of pride and joy coupled with fondness for the little boy bringing them those feelings.

Nathan looked at the empty horse next to them. "Okay, Hales. You need to get on that one."

"It's not for adults!" Haley protested.

"You're a peanut. Get on." Nathan turned to Matthew. "Tell her she's not too big."

"12!" Mathew yelled.

Haley couldn't deny them. She got on the horse and gave them both a beaming smile.

Mathew let out a loud scream when he saw Haley.

Suddenly the ride stopped. Nathan looked around and saw that there were a few people around them that were also surprised the ride was over. From a distance, he could hear the toddler crying again.

Matthew kept quiet, but stared straight ahead gripping the pole as if holding on for dear life.

Nathan turned to Haley. "Let me buy another round of tickets."

"Okay." Haley got off the horse took Nathan's spot. As Nathan left, she spotted Linda off to the side. Linda waved to both of them and began snapping pictures with her phone. Matthew began kicking his legs in response.

"YOU'VE GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME!"

Haley spun around as she heard Nathan's voice. "Uh, Matthew, I think we need to go."

Charging at them was Tony with Nathan hot on his heels.

"You've got to get off," Tony said firmly as he reached them.

"GET AWAY FROM HIM!" Nathan yelled as he stepped in front of him.

"YOU GOTTA PROBLEM, MAN?" Tony shouted back.

By this time a small crowd was watching from outside the carousel and Linda and Amy had joined them on the carousel.

"What's going on here?" Linda said inserting herself next to her son.

Tony pointed to the sign posted around the carousel. "Management has the right to limit rides-"

"There's like five people in line!" Nathan spat out pointing back at the ticket booth.

"Doesn't matter," Amy chimed in, still chewing that wad of gum. "We have the right, especially if you can't control your kid."

"That toddler was louder than him," Haley said calmly. "Look, Amy, just one more ride. I told you, Matthew really wants this."

"And you're being completely unreasonable," Nathan fumed.

"And you're holding up this ride!" Tony shot back.

As the shouting resumed, Matthew let out a bloodcurdling scream as he put his hands over his ears.

With Matthew's hands off the pole, Linda took the opportunity to take her son of the horse. "Come on, honey. We'll get you a cookie."

As Linda and Matthew headed for the exit, Nathan and Haley followed Tony and Amy back towards the ticket booth.

As much as Haley wanted to let this go; she couldn't. In the back of her mind, she knew they were escalating the situation, which was not the wisest thing considering Nathan's anger issues. But, Haley had her own issues; year of pent up frustration from a world of people that were unaccommodating and judgmental towards people with special needs. She was still hopeful that she could make Tony and Amy, and all those other people still watching them understand that this was not Matthew's fault. If people just had a little sensitivity and empathy, they could see that.

By the time the four of them reached the ticket booth a mall security guard was approaching.

Haley pushed in front of Nathan, hoping to stop him from lashing out again. "Can I talk you two for a minute?" She narrowed in on Amy, who seemed like the most sensible of the pair. "Amy, have you heard of Autism Spectrum Disorder?" She asked loudly enough for everyone around to hear.

Amy turned to Tony and sighed. "I told you the kid was a retard."

"He must get it from his father," Tony said looking at Nathan.

The words were barely out of his mouth when Nathan pulled his arm back and clenched his fist to take aim at Tony. Before he could get the punch in, Tony stepped out of the way. It didn't matter. Haley took care of the situation for both of them.

"You insensitive bitch," Haley said as she smacked Amy across the face.

Despite the small round of applause from those around them, Haley and Nathan were promptly escorted out of the mall. They walked in silence to Linda's car as they waited for her and Matthew to come back after getting their cookie.

As they leaned back against the car, they each took the time to calm down. Nathan was the first to get a clear head. He immediately started snickering as the vision of Amy with her hand over her face flashed before him. "So, uh, was that redirecting—"

"Don't say it," Haley said tersely. She looked over at Nathan. He was looking down at his feet, unsuccessfully hiding his laughter. His laughter became contagious as Haley saw the irony of what just happened. She started laughing, yet still tried to defend herself to him. "I was-It was an appropriate-expression of anger. She deserved that!"

"I was about to handle it," Nathan said finally suppressing his laughter.

Haley put her hands to her hips. "Yeah, I saw that!"

Nathan took a step in front of her and put his hands right through hers, securing them around her back. "You know what I was going to do?"

"What?"

"Call her a bitch and slap her. Oh, wait! You did that, didn't you," Nathan said with a smirk and slight chuckle.

"Oh, Nathan," Haley said putting her head down. "You can't bring this up in therapy. Please don't."

"I know the rules." Nathan kissed the top of her head and gently lifted her chin. "The bitch deserved it and so did that asshole. The things they said…." he said his eyes showing how deeply he was affected by this.

"I want to believe it's because they don't understand it, but I think the truth is there's so many people that _don't want to_ understand—and not just children like Matthew—anything that's not worth their time."

"That's why we need people like you. You've changed me in so many ways, Hales. I feel bad for people like them. They'll never know what they're missing."

"They thought he was our son," Haley said surprising herself. She was even more surprised by the warm feeling that entered her heart when she voiced this to Nathan. Where did that come from?

"So did those people watching us. They looked at us with pity. They felt bad for us. If I had a son like Matthew, I would be proud and I wouldn't hide it." A sinking feeling filled him. "But people like me don't belong having kids."

"What do you mean by that?" Haley asked.

"That got my so angry-I just couldn't handle that kind of responsibility. I'm a selfish person. I could never do what Linda and Jared do."

But he just did. And his anger came from a place of love instead of hate. In her eyes, it was justified. Haley knew he was wrong, but she also didn't want to continue the conversation. She could see Linda and Matthew heading towards them. "You are so far from selfish!" She said playfully patting the sides of his cheeks..

Hearing Matthew's babble talk, Nathan pulled away from Haley.

Matthew's face was smeared with chocolate as he nibbled on a cookie and held on to his mother's hand. Linda held up a bag of cookies. "Look what we got you!"

They stopped in front of the car and Linda let go of Matthew's hand. She took out two cookies. "Okay, Matthew. You need to give these to Nathan and Haley."

Matthew took one cookie and, with his eyes focused on the cookie, handed it to Haley. "12." He quickly turned and took the second one and handed it to Nathan. "23."

Nathan and Haley thanked him, but Matthew immediately went back to eating his own cookie.

"Matthew," Linda said leaning down next to her son. "We need to thank Nathan and Haley." She looked up at them with watery eyes. "We appreciate you sticking up for him like that. He's very lucky to have such supportive people like you." Linda gently turned her son back around to face Haley and Nathan.

Matthew looked everywhere but at them, but very quietly he said the words. "Thank you."

Nathan gave Haley a sheepish smile. Just like his first visit with Matthew, he was left with the most incredible, indescribable feeling. As he looked at Haley, he as sure she felt the same thing. Nathan took her hand and looked back at Linda and Matthew. "The pleasure was ours."

* * *

><p>Preview of chapter: "Pen &amp; Paper" (The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus)<p>

AN: I tapped a little into my own experiences there for the scene w/Matthew. Sorry if it sounded too preachy, but this is Haley's passion so I thought it was appropriate.

If you know the next song, you will understand the next chapter is filled w/drama. SPOILER ALERT: Over the next two chapters you will learn what happened between Nathan and Dr. Rimkus…and so will Haley.

Due to ongoing problems with this site, I got a twitter so I can talk with you w/out relying on this website! I will have it up and running in the next few days.

Thanks for reading and reviewing! I appreciate it very much.


	23. Chapter 23

**Disclaimer #1**: Characters, minor plot points and dialogue belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and _One Tree Hill_ writers.

**Disclaimer #2**: Although my career is in the field of psychology, I have taken a lot of liberties with my story. My background is nothing like Haley's in this story. Her story only has _a little_ basis in reality. I know many people in that field who have given me inspiration for details here and there, but this situation is entirely fictional. Please don't take what you read as fact, especially when it comes to the research discussed and ethics of practicing psychology. As with all my stories, you have to use the suspension of disbelief, just as you do with our favorite tv show. The examples in this story are merely for plot purposes. If you do have questions or concerns about the psychological elements of the story, please feel free to pm. I'd love to discuss!

Chapter 23: "Pen & Paper" (The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus)

It was a Saturday morning and although Haley had spent many nights at Nathan's, each morning she still woke up with giddiness as the sights and sounds of the beach reached her senses. On this leisurely morning, she was further stimulated by the touch of Nathan's flesh against hers. Last night, they had fallen asleep naked after a tender round of lovemaking. At the time, she had comfortably fallen asleep in Nathan's arms, but when she awoke, she saw they had shifted positions. Nathan was on his side, his back facing her. She was pressed up behind him, with her arm extended over his body. She quietly shifted up and looked at the alarm clock. It was just after ten a.m. She settled back down and patted Nathan's stomach. A second later, and she swore this move was involuntary, her hand moved down to his slightly hardened member. He jumped as soon as her hand made contact with it.

Nathan twisted around and opened one eye at Haley. "Yes?"

"I'm sorry," she said sheepishly. "I didn't mean to…"

"Believe me, that's a good way to wake up."

Haley pushed him back to his side, kissed his shoulder and resumed her original position.

Nathan took her hand and pushed it back down. "Come on, Hales. You started this…"

As best she could, Haley started stroking his member. After a minute, she grew aggravated with her inability to touch him exactly the way she wanted to. Her arms were just too damn short! She sat up and pushed him flat on his back.

Nathan grinned as he rubbed his eyes. "I think I've woken a sleeping giant in you. I knew once you got comfortable—"

Haley moved on top of him with one leg on either side of him and looked at his member and laughed. "If anyone is a sleeping giant, it's you!"

"Ha, Ha," Nathan said reaching up to touch her body. Much to his dismay, her breasts were just out of his reach. "Come closer, baby."

Haley pushed down over him, propping herself on the palm of her hands planted on either side of him. She closed her eyes as Nathan licked his thumbs and put them on her nipples and starting running circles over them. "Oh, yeah….That's good," she moaned.

Nathan laughed at her.

Haley opened her eyes and sunk down over him and gave him a severe pout. "Why are you laughing at me?"

"Because I should have known how you'd like to talk when we have sex," he said showing his amusement.

"I do not!"

"Yes, you do! And you like to give me orders. Don't deny it, Doc. You love telling me what you like, how you feel—"

Haley couldn't completely deny that. It was intentional some of the time, but she also knew she got carried away at times. Did she get too carried away? "I don't order you—"

Nathan started to mock her. "Right there…That's it…Come closer—"

Haley put her finger towards his face. "You just said that."

"—Faster, harder," Nathan continued, happy to see her getting fired up.

"I never say those things!"

"Yes, you do," Nathan smirked. "But you don't even know it. And once you _really_ get comfortable with me, you'll start talking real dirty to me."

Haley moved her head next to his on the pillow. "Stop being mean to me."

Nathan playfully nipped at her nose and then pulled her back over him. "I was just teasing…You know how turned on I get-_We_ get," he said jerking his hips towards her—"when you do that."

Not having the willpower to fight him, Haley fully relaxed her body against his. "Well, we'll have to see how you like it when I'm quiet."

"You? Quiet? You can't help it, Hales. It's part of those things they teach you about being a psychiatrist. You talk your feelings….and communicate—"

"It's psychologist, Nathan," She snidely reminded him. When he opened his mouth to respond, she yelled at him, "And shut up!" She promptly silenced him with a furious kiss.

A smile spread over Nathan's face, even as she kissed him. He truly loved how feisty she could get and was learning more and more each day about how to push those buttons in just the right ways in the bedroom. As his bodily urges started to supersede his smug thoughts, he fully reciprocated her kisses and moved his hands down to her ass. He grabbed both of her ass cheeks and grunted. As they broke from their kisses, he took the opportunity to tell her just how he felt. "You have a serious ass, Haley James."

Haley was not amused. "I have a big ass," she said miserably.

Nathan gave another grab at her ass. "This is a perfect ass…It goes along with your sexy body." He ran his hands approvingly up her side and down over her back.

"Is that sexy talk?" Haley whispered, keeping her body pressed to his.

"Is sexy talk different from dirty talk?"

"I like sexy talk," Haley purred as she slid her hands up and down his chest. She slid her body down a little further and found the magic position where his hardness was at her center.

"Haley," Nathan groaned as their bodies came into contact.

"Yes?" Haley asked as she intentionally stilled her movements.

"Put it in," Nathan pleaded with a hint of desperation. He watched as Haley popped her head up, bit her lip and shook her long hair so it fell over her shoulders. Suddenly, it clicked. She had never done this before. It would be another first for her with him. Excited, he moved his hand down to his member to help persuaded her. "It'll feel good, I promise," he said as he moved the tip of his member around her center.

"Oh," Haley said growing wetter. "Okay," she weakly agreed.

As she reached down, Nathan's hands moved up the sides of her body and stopped by her breasts. Breathing heavily, Haley took his member in her hand. She pushed it slightly into her center and lead forward.

"Oh, yeah," Nathan muttered closing his eyes as his member was enveloped by her warm, wet core.

Haley moved her hands to his shoulders and began moving her hips to bring him deeper inside of her. As his hardness filled her, she kept up her movements, thoroughly enjoying the friction and heat shooting up her body. "This feels so good."

"So good." Nathan opened his eyes and moved his hands to her breasts. He put his fingers over her nipples. As he started to massage them, Haley began squirming. This was too much fun. He followed it up by pinching both of them at the same time, causing her to jump. With that movement, a jolt swept through his body. He moved his hands to her hips. "Baby, if you sit up, I'll go deeper into you," he said giving her a slight push.

"Oh yeah?" Haley asked, trying to clear her mind enough to process his words. She quickly got the drift and let his hands direct her hips. She immediately understood what he meant as she moved upright. The next she knew, she was sitting fully upright using all of her energy to ride him as hard as she could. Earlier she thought he was deep inside of her, but now she saw the difference. His incredibly hard member was filling _every single part_ of her core. "Nathan! Nathan! Nathan!"

"Fuck, yeah," Nathan gritted out. He was desperate to move with her, but he didn't have the chance. Instead, he kept a grip on her hips and alternated between watching her breasts bob up and down over him and closing his eyes as he let the pure ecstasy building in the lower half of his body take over.

Haley moved up on her hind legs to give herself just a little more leverage. She began to feel her breaking point approaching. "I can't believe….Oh….This…."

Nathan struggled to keep his eyes open so he could watch her. He could tell she was so close and was probably holding back because she was enjoying herself so much. Little did she know, there was more to come because over the past few weeks, he had worked tirelessly on mastering his stamina with her. "Go ahead, baby….Come on," he urged her as he ran his hands as far up her body as he could.

When Haley heard and felt Nathan, she began to let go. She came faster than she anticipated, letting out a series of gasps, followed by a hoarse groan. She stilled her movements, leaned slightly forward and put her palms on Nathan's chest as she struggled to regain her breath.

Nathan patiently waited for Haley to recover before he slightly moved his pelvis letting her feel him still hard inside of her.

Haley furrowed her brow at Nathan. "Oh," she said disappointedly. "I'm sorry.—"

"Hales, we're not done, yet," Nathan announced with a smirk. "Now, we move together."

Haley raised her eyebrow at him. "What?"

Nathan moved his hands to her back and tugged on her. "Come closer. Like you were before."

Haley leaned down a little more and put her hands on his shoulders. This time it felt different because she was so wet and he still so deep inside of her. She struggled to summon up her energy so she could begin moving again, hoping this was the position that would give Nathan the same satisfaction she'd just had. This all changed as Nathan moved his hands to her hips and held her slightly up. Her eyes flew open as he began jerking his hips, slamming into her. "Oh! Oh! Oh!" It was the only thing she could say.

Nathan could have let go, but he could tell in Haley was ready to go again. He eased up his movements and she relaxed over him. Their bodies melded together into a hypnotic, slow, rhythm that clouded their minds as pure passion took over.

Haley kept her head directly above Nathan's her eyes locked with his as she kept her grip on his shoulders and let her lower half of her body move with his. She watched him closely and saw he holding back. "Oh, I want you, Nathan. I want you so bad."

"You got me, Haley," Nathan assured her. "I promise you do."

Haley closed her eyes for brief second and reveled in the feel of him inside of her. He was right. "I feel you….God I feel you."

When Nathan felt her inner walls clutch around his member, he unexpectedly let go.

Haley could see it in his eyes and feel it throughout her body. "Yes. Yes. Yes," she said quietly as she came with him.

As the rode out their waves of passion, Haley fully appreciated what Nathan had done for her. In his own patient way, he had taught her new things about herself. He had guided her through this new sexual experience and left her with confidence in her ability to take charge and please both herself and him. She couldn't imagine being that vulnerable with anyone else. After separating their intermingled bodies, Haley rested her sweaty body against his. "I see what you mean about me getting more comfortable with you."

Nathan chuckled and patted her hair. "You're almost there, baby."

Haley picked up her head and examined him. "Almost?"

"You'll know when you're there," Nathan said seriously.

Haley tried to push away the hair matted to the side of her face as she thought about that. She wasn't sure what he meant. How could she be any more comfortable with him? A huge grin swept over her face.

"What?" Nathan asked curiously.

"What time are Peyton and Lucas coming over?"

"Around one p.m. They want to hit the beach with us before dinner."

Haley ran her hand through his slightly damp hair. "How about we hit the shower?"

"Together?" Nathan asked.

Haley slowly nodded. "What do you think?"

"Are you serious? Is that a real question?"

Haley moved off of him, got out of bed and began to head towards the bathroom. She cast a look over her shoulder and gave him a saucy smile.

Nathan jumped out of bed so fast he nearly tripped over his own feet.

* * *

><p>Later on that evening Lucas, Peyton, Nathan and Haley sat outside on the patio chatting after dinner. Nathan had cooked some steaks on the grill, while Haley made a salad, mashed potatoes and corn on the cob. Peyton had brought dessert, but they were all too full to eat it and weren't anxious to move anyway. Even Haley, who usually couldn't stand to let messes sit, was enjoying herself too much to stop and clean up from dinner.<p>

After talking about the wedding, the conversation shifted to Matthew. Lucas and Peyton had lots of questions about the little boy that captured both Nathan and Haley's heart. Lucas in particular, kept steering the conversation back to Matthew and Nathan. Nathan was happy to respond to all his questions.

Haley sat back proudly as she watched Nathan spoke animatedly. It reminded her of the way he spoke about basketball. As she listened to him, she thought about moving beyond hearing him speak about basketball. She was excited about his tryouts and having the chance to see him live in action.

"So, I go after the guy and he ducks like a coward and the next thing I know Haley has slapped that bitch across her face!" Nathan exclaimed dramatically.

"Haley!" Peyton said in disbelief.

Lucas was laughing. "I believe it. You don't mess with Haley. How many times did I tell you that over the years, Nate?"

"Yeah, my girl is bad ass," Nathan said raising his eyebrow at Haley.

"She's lucky security made me leave!" Haley said.

"It wasn't cool," Peyton said disturbed. "I can't believe they treated you guys that way."

Nathan looked down and shook his head. The whole thing still didn't sit right with him. "I still can't believe that some people can be so cold-hearted."

Silence filled the air for a minute. Haley looked around the table. Lucas and Peyton were nervously watching Nathan. She looked at him and could see why. He did look pretty upset.

"I think people get nervous," Haley started to explain, "and they don't know what to do. But Nathan did," she said proudly. Nathan perked his head up at the mention of his name. "Remember when you met him?" She turned to Lucas and Peyton. "Matthew was being difficult and Nathan jumped right in and calmed him down."

"You told me what to do," Nathan said to Haley.

"I told you a little; not nearly enough to prepare you. And I tried to explain things to that girl at the mall. She just didn't care. We weren't worth her time. That's how it is with some people."

"Well, Matthew sounds like a sweet kid," Peyton said warmly. "Think we could meet him some time?"

"I want to have him to one of my games," Nathan said.

"A Laker's game," Haley added.

"Hey, Nate, you get season passes for family?" Lucas asked curiously.

Nathan issued Haley a knowing smirk. "I told you he would be after that."

Haley nodded. "Do girlfriends get those passes, too?" She grinned.

"Really, Haley? You're going to go to _all_ of his games?" Peyton asked surprised.

Haley didn't know what to say. Truth was, she couldn't go to all of his games with her workload.

Sensing Haley's unease, Nathan jumped in. "I have to make the team first. Don't jinx me."

"You got it in the bag," Lucas said as he began pulling out his iPhone. "Hey, I have question for you two." He flashed the phone towards them showing a picture of Haley and Nathan sitting on the ferris wheel. "Is this down at the Santa Monica Pier? Peyton and I were trying to figure that out."

Nathan's eyes widened. "Where did you get that?" He asked furiously.

Haley reached over and took the phone. "Facebook? This is still on Facebook?"

"I thought you told her to take it off?" Nathan asked Haley.

"I did," Haley insisted. She began flipping through the pictures. "They're all here! Is this Taylor's account?" She shoved the phone back at Nathan.

"Yeah," Lucas said puzzled. "What's the big deal?"

"I'm tagged in these! And I'm all over her wall! What the fuck!" Nathan cursed, raising his voice.

"What does that mean?" Haley asked.

"It means I'm fucking screwed!" Nathan exclaimed.

Haley looked at Peyton. "I don't have a Facebook. Can you explain this to me?"

"It means that someone can search for me and find all this!" Nathan answered.

Haley stood up. "I'm going to call Taylor right now." She headed back into the house to get her cellphone.

"Nate, why are you so upset?" Lucas asked.

"Haley is my therapist. It isn't good for either one of us if this shit is out the on the internet."

"You two haven't worked that out?" Peyton asked. "Is this a secret? Because I didn't know that," she said given Lucas an accusatory look.

"I didn't know either!" Lucas said defensively. "I thought that was all done and over with."

"My therapy?" Nathan asked. "I have two more sessions."

"What?" Lucas asked incredulously as he leaned forward. "She's still treating you? And hasn't it been eight weeks anyway?"

"The first visit was just a consolation—then, we lost a week with the bank holdup—"

"I told Mia," Peyton said anxiously.

"What?" Nathan asked his head spinning. "Who the fuck is that?"

They all looked up as Haley came out the sliding doors clutching her cellphone in her hand and Nathan's laptop in the other. "She said she's taking it down—_everything_," she emphasized looking at Nathan. "We'll check in a couple of minutes on your laptop. I just started it up."

"Haley, I didn't know I was supposed to keep this all a secret," Peyton said guiltily. "I told this new artist I'm working with—Mia—and I know she's just this random person, but it was in casual conversation. I told her how I was coming to dinner. Then, I told her how it was so cool that Lucas's brother and best friend were a couple. I'm so sorry. I can ask her not to say anything." Peyton stood up. "I'll call her right now."

"Peyton, sit down," Nathan said. "There are a lot of people who know about Haley and me." He looked at Haley as she sat back down. "I guess we weren't trying to hide it at first…"

"We were from Dr. Rimkus. She practically forbade us from seeing each other," Haley said miserably. "Even in therapy."

"So were you planning on keep this a secret from her _forever_?" Lucas asked incredulously. "What if she sees you in therapy? What if she sees you on tv cheering on Nate?"

"Well, uh," Nathan hedge. He looked at Haley to answer.

"We wanted to get through the therapy and Nathan's tryouts…." Haley trailed off as she really didn't have more to say.

"It would look better if this all happened _after_ that," Nathan chimed in.

"But we didn't really think that far ahead," Haley admitted.

"I'm still confused," Lucas said scratching the side of his head. "What could happen here? What are we worried about?"

"Nino Jones is going out for the same position for me. He's pretty cutthroat. I don't want a scandal," Nathan explained.

"And my career depends on Dr. Rimkus. I can't afford to start over with someone else," Haley said. "And she has a lot of leverage with the Stanford study."

"But she's _going to_ find out," Lucas said with certainty. "Sooner or later…Don't you two think it's wise to get ahead of this?"

Nathan and Haley looked at each other. They both knew Lucas was right. It was just something they had been avoiding as they got caught up in the romance of a new relationship. They had tried to set up some boundaries, but between Taylor's antics and Peyton's innocent comment in casual conversation to someone she was working with, the news of their relationship had a high probability of reaching the wrong person at some point.

Haley looked at the laptop and smiled. "You changed your bookmarks!" The porn ones were all gone. They were replaced with ones for Stanford, the American Psychological Association and Autism Speaks. "That was so nice!"

Nathan issued her a sheepish smile and then took the laptop as she pushed it towards him. He logged in to Facebook and did some searches. "I think it's all gone."

"Still, people could have downloaded that," Lucas said. "If you two are going to continue to be a couple, you need to come up with a plan before this all blows up in your faces."

"There are four very intelligent people sitting at this table," Peyton chimed in. "I bet we can figure something out."

"Three and half," Lucas joked, nodding towards Nathan.

"Fuck you," Nathan spat out glaring at him. "And you couldn't pay me enough money to live your boring ass geeky life."

"Funny you say that, Nate, because Haley and I are a lot alike. Do you know that we were both valedictorians of our high school classes?"

Haley watched the exchange and was struck at how easily it had become heated. She knew Lucas was touchy about not being able to pursue basketball because of his heart condition, but her heart when out to Nathan. It was a classic example of his deep insecurities about his label as a dumb jock being prodded. Boy these brothers knew exactly how to get under each other's skins. Well, Peyton had Lucas' back, so it was only fair for her to have Nathan's.

"I'm sure Nathan could have been valedictorian if he applied himself," Haley said defensively.

Both Lucas and Peyton snickered.

Nathan let out a disgusted sigh and turned his attention back to Haley. All that mattered was what she thought and for some reason, she thought he was smarter than he actually was. "Well, like I was telling you earlier, if you stayed in Tree Hill and tutored me, you never know what would have happened."

Lucas hit the side of his knee. "Ha! I would have loved to of seen that!"

Haley gave Lucas the nastiest look she could summon and he backed right down.

Lucas cleared his throat remorsefully. "Right, so we figure something out."

"Like what?" Haley asked reluctantly.

Lucas slammed his hand on the table. "The bank holdup! That's our out!"

Nathan shook his head. "We already tried—"

"What do you mean?" Haley asked.

"This Rimkus—She's your supervisor?" Lucas asked. "You work _under_ her license, right? Since you don't have one yet? She's the one on the hook here. She's liable-"

Haley slowly nodded. Lucas had that look in his eye; he was onto to something. She could also see he was determined to help them out and probably wasn't going to leave until they had explored every option for this complicated situation. She tried to convince herself this as good—and necessary. She and Nathan needed to be pushed to face this issue before it got worse and Lucas, with his genuine concern and support for the two of them, was the perfect person to do that. She looked at Nathan. There was something in his eyes as well. She couldn't quite pinpoint it. In the least, he looked like he didn't want to have this conversation.

Well, Haley wanted to have this conversation. What was the harm in letting Lucas and Peyton give them some advice?

* * *

><p>Early the next morning, Nathan woke up with a start as he almost fell off of the bed. Lying on his side on the edge of the bed, he tried to push back, but Haley was pressed up against his back. He tried to gently push her back, but she was not budging. It didn't help that she had her arm clasped tightly around his waist. He tried to pry it off, but he couldn't do that either. Seriously, how could she be asleep and be clingingly to him that tightly? As he tried to worm his way out of her grip, he nearly fell off the bed again.<p>

"Haley!" He said with frustration.

"Mmmm," Haley sighed.

"Give me some fucking room!" Nathan snapped. As she stirred, he pushed her away from him.

Haley groggily moved back to her side of the bed, taking the covers with her.

Finally able to move, Nathan fell on his back. He tried to pull some covers back his way, but couldn't. Faced once again with frustration, he turned on his side to face Haley. His anger quickly faded. She was back asleep, ferociously clutching the covers with both of her hands. God, she was beautiful. She was also strong….tough…fierce…loyal, but also tender and kind. He was _lucky_ to have her arms wrapped around him. What was he thinking? He already regretted pushing her away.

Nathan quietly crawled over to her. He nuzzled his face by her neck. "Baby, let me back in."

"Hmmm?"

As Haley loosened her grip on the covers, Nathan pushed his way under the covers and over her. He moved half over her, pulled the covers around them and settled down. He closed his eyes contentedly when Haley's hand moved to his back. "I'm sorry for being a jerk."

"Huh?"

"I pushed you away."

"Huh?"

Nathan opened his eyes and lifted his head up. She had no clue about what happened, but he still felt remorseful. He kissed her cheek and watched as a smile spread over her face. "You were hogging the covers and you nearly pushed me off the bed," he chuckled.

"No, I didn't," Haley yawned. She began rubbing his back. "You're on _my_ side of the bed," she smugly pointed out.

Nathan laughed and put his head back down on the pillow next to hers. "God, I love you, Hales."

Haley smiled again. She opened her eyes and ran her hand up to the back of his head. "And I love waking up with you like this."

"Can we sleep at your place tonight?" Nathan asked.

"Why? I brought over work clothes and everything."

"We sleep better there. We don't move around as much." Nathan looked around his bed. "I want to get a smaller bed."

"You're crazy!"

"Crazy for you," Nathan said kissing her neck. Feeling more awake, he moved onto his back and propped himself up on his elbows. "Know what I'm going to do? I'm going to set up a video camera to tape us while we sleep. I'm going to prove that you are the one who can't keep her hands off of me."

Haley sat up. "No, you're not! I heard all about your affinity for video cameras with girls. I will not be added to that list!"

Nathan flinched. "You knew about that?"

"You're forgetting that when Lucas, Brooke and Peyton and I moved out to California for college, that triangle was still going on—unofficially. I had to deal with so much petty drama and tension."

"I don't envy you there. I managed to stay out of it-Well, until someone played the tape of Brooke and me." Nathan fully sat up. "I bet it was Rachel," he bit out. "I never fucking thought of that before, but I bet it was her!"

"Why would she do that? Weren't you together then?"

"Rachel liked to stir up drama for the fun of it. I'm sure it gave her an excuse to treat me a like a piece of shit for a while." Nathan looked at Haley. "I was drunk that night with Brooke. I forgot it even happened until I saw the tape."

"You don't have to explain," Haley said. It would be different if she was hearing about it for the first time, but it was old news to her. "I'm just grateful that Brooke and Peyton were able to move beyond that. When they were roommates, every so often they would get in these huge fights—and they were all in some way related to Lucas. The three of them were all so proudly single back then. Thank God, it all worked out in the end."

"When was that?" Nathan asked.

"Senior year when Brooke took that internship in New York. I think she knew that Lucas and Peyton were headed down that road. I mean, she let Lucas take her spot in the apartment when she was gone. She had to of known that was going to happen! Then, she met Julian last year—it's all worked out."

"You think we're going to work out?" Nathan asked verbalizing the fear that had recently resurfaced.

Haley studied his face. He that same look in his eyes he had last night when the four of them talked after dinner. "Nathan, I think Luke was right…and Peyton had a good idea."

Nathan hastily got of bed and headed to the sliding doors. He opened them up and walked out onto the porch. Feeling the salty breeze hit his body felt good. So did watching the ocean with their incessant waves. It was when he felt Haley's hand on his back, the tension set back in.

Haley placed a soft kiss on his shoulder blade and then moved to his side. "What are you afraid of?"

Nathan could barely look at her. "You know what I'm afraid of."

"I'm not going to let anything happen to your tryouts. We just need to stick together. I know we can convince Dr. Rimkus to change her mind if we do that. And we can't come on strong. She'll get defensive if we do that. We need to start by being honest and telling her that we fell in love…"

Nathan ran his lip through his teeth and sighed as Haley started babbling on about his tryouts. He finally turned to face her and put his hand on her shoulder forcing her to stop talking. "I'm worried about _my career_-I'm worried about _your career_, too, but I'm worried _about us_. What if this breaks us up?"

Haley looked down at her feet. She was worried about the same thing. She also knew that ignoring the issue would probably lead to bigger problems for both of them. She wanted to be smart about it; Lucas and Peyton helped her see that. She took Nathan's hands in hers and looked into his darkened blue eyes. "We just need to stick together."

"Haley, you don't know everything about me-or my past."

"Is that what you're afraid of? That I'm going to break up with you because of something you did in your past? All I care about is right now, Nathan. And right now, I want to try to make this work."

"There's so many things that Dr. Rimkus can do to us," Nathan said anxiously.

"And if she finds out about us in some other way—she'll do them and we'll both be screwed. The key is getting her to see that her license is on the line too if this comes out." Haley pointed her finger at him sternly. "And being _nice_ about it; at least to start with."

Nathan summoned his courage. He was fairly certain that if he and Haley sat down with Dr. Rimkus, that horrid woman would sell him out. "There's something I need to tell you….and just remember that I was an asshole when this all started—I've admitted that."

"Whatever it is, Nathan, it's not going to change how I feel about you."

"Don't say that, Haley," Nathan warned her.

"Tell me, then."

"I made Dr. Rimkus assign me to you. It was my idea; not hers."

Haley exhaled. Her initial thought was that she could deal with this. It upset her and she wanted to learn more, but they could work through it. "Why? Was it so you could sleep with me?"

"I thought I could get you to sign off on my paperwork."

Haley let go of his hand. "And sex was the bonus," she said recalling what he told her. She pieced it all together. It all made sense now. Even on that first day, he'd tried to use his charm on her. She turned away and started to head back into the bedroom. She grabbed some of her clothes and headed into the bathroom.

Nathan followed her inside. He sat down on the bed and waited for her to come out. He was nervous as hell. So far, Haley had only heard _half _of what he had to tell her before their talk with Dr. Rimkus. As soon as Haley came out from the bathroom fully dressed, he knew she was getting ready to leave. "See? I told you this would change things."

"I'm hurt, Nathan, okay? And upset. Isn't that allowed?" Haley walked over to the dresser and pulled open the drawer Nathan had set aside for her. She put her pajamas inside and headed to his walk-in closet.

Nathan stood up and crossed his arms. "So, you're going to leave? That's it?"

After putting her dirty undergarments in the hamper and putting on her shoes, Haley came back out. "I'm not breaking up with you. I just need some time." She put her hand to her temples. "I need to think." She moved her hands to her hips. "I need to talk to my mom."

Nathan started to relax, but he still had that sinking feeling in his heart. "So this is like a fight?"

"I guess," Haley shrugged.

Figuring he had nothing left to lose, Nathan decided to put his fears all out there. "Because I'm afraid you're going to leave and never come back."

Haley slightly softened. "I thought you wanted to spend the night at my place, anyway."

One corner of Nathan's mouth curled up. "You'd let me in?"

"Yes. Especially if you brought by some more of those flowers." As Haley went to walk past him, she stopped and put her hand on his elbow. "This is us learning how to fight. Just give me some time to sort some things out. We'll talk some more tonight."

Nathan nodded. He moved his hands to her hips, leaned down and kissed her forehead. "I love you, Haley James."

"I love you, too, but I'm really pissed you," Haley said shaking her head at him. "This would have been a whole lot easier with us if you just stayed with Dr. Rimkus as your therapist."

"I know," Nathan said regretfully.

As Haley left, he was filled will a mixture of hope and fear. She had proven over and over her capacity for compassion, forgiveness and acceptance. The problem was, she still hadn't heard the worst—that would be ultimate test of those attributes.

* * *

><p>Haley watched as Nathan paced back and forth along the windows of her office. "You okay?"<p>

"You're sure you want to do this?" Nathan asked.

"Yes," Haley confirmed. "Just let me do the talking. There's something about you that irks her."

Nathan stopped his pacing. Two days later and he still hadn't been able to tell Haley everything he wanted to. This was it. She had just given him another opening. It was now or never. "Can we sit down for a minute?"

As Haley went to sit down the chair she normally sat in, Nathan beckoned her to sit down beside him.

"This is _us _right now," Nathan said quietly.

Haley understood they were not talking as therapist and patient. She sat down next to him and put her hand down on his shaking knee. "You're getting cold feet?"

"What do you think is going to happen?" Nathan asked seriously.

"I hope we'll see the sliver of a heart she has and she'll agree to put her name on the paperwork. If anyone notices the difference, she'll explain how we had that traumatic experience in the bank, which Peyton pointed is public record because of the charges placed on the thugs. So, she'll say how we went to her, which _we did_," Haley said squeezing his knee, "and asked for things to change. Then, if anyone asks, that's the story we'll go with. It was the holdup that brought us together and she had to change things because of that."

"And if she doesn't go for that?"

"Then I'll gently remind her this is what is best for her career as well since it's bound to come out that we're a couple."

Nathan knew that Haley was missing one other possibility. If Dr. Rimkus was upset enough, she could use her leverage to interfere with Haley's work at Stanford, both for that study and her dissertation. Knowing what he knew, he was certain Dr. Rimkus was spiteful enough to do that. Did Haley know that and was just in denial? As he looked at her, he wasn't certain. But she had picked up one thing, although it was a bit of understatement; _Dr. Rimkus was irked by him_. "Haley, remember when I told you I made her do this?"

"Yeah. I've seen how persuasive you can be. I don't even want to think about what you said to her," Haley said dryly.

Nathan closed his eyes, unable to watch her as he told her full extent of it. "It was a little more than me just talking to her."

Haley's heart skipped a beat. She put her hand up to Nathan. "I don't want to hear this."

"But I want to tell you before we go in there." He watched as Haley got up and walked over to the windows.

"If you tell me, I have a feeling I'm not want to go in there." She turned around and read the solemn expression on his face. "Am I?"

Nathan stood up and swallowed hard. "Let me try and fix this. Let me talk to her alone."

"Oh, that's what you want to do?" Haley fumed as her imagination ran wild. "Dig yourself in deeper! Let me asked you this? Did you fuck her right in the office or did you just make a date for later? And are you seriously asking for my permission to do that again?"

"That's what you think?" Nathan asked heavily insulted. "You think I—" He took a few steps away and then turned back. "Fuck," he said wincing at the idea of getting physically close to someone like Charlene Rimkus.

Haley was so livid that she wasn't paying an attention to him. She looked back out at the beach as her mind raced. "She was jealous of me! I should have known it was because she wanted you for herself! That manipulative bitch! She's so fake! She talked to me about your reputation, my reputation. I should have known she didn't give a shit about that!" She spun around and found Nathan frozen in shock. "I should have left you right where I found you on that damn elevator! I never should have trusted you."

"Haley, listen to me—I never touched Charlene—"

Haley's eyes lit up with rage. "Charlene! Charlene! How the hell do you know her first name?"

"I can explain—"

"I'd love to see you try because it does not say that on her nameplate and no one around her calls her that! She insists on Doctor—"

"If you're not going to listen to me, I'm going to leave!" Nathan voiced loudly over hers.

"Then leave!" Haley shot back, calling his bluff.

Nathan took off out her door.

A second later, Haley began to panic. Nathan didn't lie. He might have hid things from her, but he flat out denied touching Dr. Rimkus. If that's what he said, it had to be the truth. So now he was angry and she had a feeling she knew who was going to be the recipient of his aggression.

Haley left her office. Her suspicious were confirmed as she watched Nathan head for Dr. Rimkus' office. She picked up her pace and called after him. "Nathan!"

Nathan stopped and made eye contact with Haley right before he went in. "I'm going to fix this," he said loud enough for Haley to hear.

Haley was still a few steps away when the door shut. She slowed down and looked over at Nina, who was watching everything play out from the reception desk. She knew she had to go over there to explain this.

"What is that all about?" Nina asked as soon as Haley reached her.

"Can I trust you, Nina? I mean, really trust you?" Haley asked.

"You should. I've been keeping your secret for a while now," Nina said bobbing her head up and down.

Haley's mouth fell open. "You knew?"

"Of course I knew!" Nina exclaimed. "I even saw a video of him proclaiming he was your boyfriend at some night club."

Haley blinked hard as she tried to deny that Nina had just said that. "There's a video of that? Show me," she said pointing at the computer.

Nina sat down at her computer and began typing. "It was at the start of Chris Keller's performance, right? My girlfriend was at the show and I guess I talk about you a lot because she recognized your name-There!"

Haley watched over Nina's shoulder as the video came up. The suspense was about to kill her as she watched the circle spin in the middle of the screen as the video buffered. When it came up, she was surprised to see Chris Keller speaking into the microphone, making a reference to him being Cupid-like. "Go back—it was before this."

"I know," Nina said showing her confusion.

They went back to the start of the video. They only thing they could make out the brief glimpse of Nathan exiting the stage.

"Maybe this wasn't it," Nina said.

They did a few more searches, but that was the only video that came up.

"Maybe they took it down," Nina guessed. "Or edited it out."

"Nina, can you do some more searches—just to see if anything else is out there?" Haley asked nervously.

"Sure." Nina began typing.

Haley straightened up and looked over at the door to Dr. Rimkus' office. He was still in there. She didn't know what to make of that.

"She doesn't know, Haley," Nina said comfortingly.

"But she does now," Haley said turning back to Nina. "What do you think she's going to do?"

"I can't find anything, but I'll dig some more. I'm good at this stuff." Nina spun around in her chair. "Look, I'm not supposed to say anything about this, but Charlene," she said rolling her eyes, "is some hot water with The Ethics Commission.—"

"Because of me?" Haley gasped.

"No, no," Nina assured her. "This is all because of the grant extension she applied for."

"I had a feeling there were some problems with that—and with her research results."

"It all could work in your favor," Nina said hopefully. "I'm sure she doesn't want this coming out."

Haley nodded but wasn't convinced. This could go either way. She wished she had known this earlier. She could have used it to her advantage. Her thoughts turned to the fact the Nina knew about this all along. She knew that Haley had a romantic relationship with her patient and lied about it. "You think I'm going to be a horrible psychologist?" Haley asked her.

Nina pointed towards Dr. Rimkus' office. "She's a horrible psychologist. She's supposed to be mentoring you! Nice example she set for you! You were doomed from the start! It's just a shame Dr. Muller's wife is so ill. He would have kept her in line and watched out for you."

"My mom said the same thing." Her mother had also tried to convince her to start fresh with a new psychologist. Haley stubbornly refused. It was her Stanford work, her work with Matthew and passion for the research she was doing for her dissertation that held her back. Too many people were depending on her for that-from Dr. Greene, to Matthew, to all the children the study hoped to help.

"Well, he seems like a nice guy, Haley. I mean who gives two bouquets of roses to someone within days of each other?" Nina teased her.

"You knew the second set was from him?" Haley asked surprised.

"Of course I did," Nina smiled. "See, I can keep a secret when I want to!"

"I never realized how much you didn't like Dr. Rimkus."

"I didn't until these past few months. Her true colors came out once she made junior partner. Rimkus….She was a Kiss-Ass if you ask me," Nina smirked at her. "Come on, Haley, call her Charlene," she goaded her. "Just once, I want to hear you say it."

Haley laughed and pointed back to the computer. "See if there is anything else I have to worry about, huh?"

Nina stayed facing Haley and mimicked typing. "You know what you have to do to get these fingers working!"

They both looked up as the door to Dr. Rimkus' office opened.

Nathan came out looking dejected with his head down and drooping shoulders. He briefly stopped at the reception area and barely looked at Haley. "I'm sorry," he stated simply. "I hope you'll come by tonight so we can talk." He started to walk, but then turned around again. "But I understand if you won't."

Haley just looked at him unsure of what to say. He didn't wait for a response anyway as he headed out. She looked over at Dr. Rimkus' door. Her heart started thumping as Dr. Rimkus appeared in the doorway.

"Haley? I'd like to talk to you," Dr. Rimkus said sternly.

* * *

><p>Preview of next chapter: "Chocolate" (Snow Patrol)<p>

AN: The next chapter is short, but heavy. That is one of my favorite songs, too (Yes I know, I'm dark). This begins the second arc of this story. I'm willing to give you a sneak peek, but it will probably just leave you wanting more! Let me know. I plan on updating soon. I have this week off and this story is taking off now that I have time to sit down and write it.

I'm interested to hear if you have any theories Nathan and Dr. Rimkus. Also at this point, what choice are you thinking- love vs career? Like I said in my summary, they can't have both right now!

If you're interested, my twitter is up and running- katg0507. Last night there were problems again w/this site, so that's a great alternative for communicating if these problems don't stop.


	24. Chapter 24

**Disclaimer #1**: Characters, minor plot points and dialogue belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and _One Tree Hill_ writers.

**Disclaimer #2**: Although my career is in the field of psychology, I have taken a lot of liberties with my story. My background is nothing like Haley's in this story. Her story only has _a little_ basis in reality. I know many people in that field who have given me inspiration for details here and there, but this situation is entirely fictional. Please don't take what you read as fact, especially when it comes to the research discussed and ethics of practicing psychology. As with all my stories, you have to use the suspension of disbelief, just as you do with our favorite tv show. The examples in this story are merely for plot purposes. If you do have questions or concerns about the psychological elements of the story, please feel free to pm. I'd love to discuss!

Chapter 24: "Chocolate" (Snow Patrol)

Her knuckles were white from clenching the steering wheel so tightly. Her teeth were grating from subconsciously grinding them. Her nostrils were flaring from breathing heavily. Her eyes were reddening from crying.

She pushed her foot down on the gas pedal. She couldn't get to Nathan's house fast enough, yet she dreaded it at the same time.

All day she had to block out the words from her conversation with Dr. Rimkus in order to keep her focus. Immediately after that, she had an appointment with a patient. After that, she had to head to Matthew's for her home visit. When she was back from that, she diligently went back to work, typed up her notes and prepped for the next day. Now, there was no reason to stop those thoughts. So, they raced through her head, just as she raced towards Nathan's house.

Dr. Rimkus had been unmistakably clear. She had given Haley an ultimatum.

_Your career or your boyfriend._

There had been more to it, but that's what it boiled down to. What was worse, it wasn't just her being malicious. There were legitimate reasons for concern.

_Both of our careers are on the line, Haley. It's true that you work under my license, but if The Ethics Commission decides to suspend my license, what will you do then? Who will you work under? And who how will this affect Dr. Greene's work?_

The Ethics Commission's investigation of Dr. Rimkus had nothing to do with her and Nathan, but it had the potential to make things worse. If they knew how she approved of Haley's treatment of Nathan while knowing of their personal connection through Lucas, she would definitely get in trouble. Then, there was Dr. Rimkus' reaction to their shared experience at the bank. It would be even worse if the commission knew how she wanted Haley to sign off on that paperwork without seeing him. The final straw would be Nathan and Haley's romantic relationship.

_You cannot have a romantic relationship with that man._

When Dr. Rimkus had said that, Haley started to seethe. Sure, Nathan had asked for her to be his therapist, but what did he know about ethics? It was Dr. Rimkus' responsibility to set him straight.

That was the point at which the conversation took a sharp turn. Dr. Rimkus had laughed wickedly at her. She explained, with a smug expression on her face, that there was more to the story.

_You don't know? He didn't tell you! Ha! Well, I'll tell you what, I'll let your loverboy tell you himself about our arrangement. But to be fair, I will give you one important piece of information going into this. I called his bluff. He threatened me, but I turned the tables on him so fast he didn't know what hit him. You should have seen the look on his face. I thought he was going to pass out when I went to make that call to the Lakers. In the end, I've gave Nathan the same choice I've given you; his career or you. Do you need me to tell you what he chose?_

At the back of her mind, Haley always had a sneaking suspicion that Nathan knew more about Dr. Rimkus than he let on. Then, he confirmed that in her office. He tried to tell her, but _she didn't want to hear it_. That was the truth; all along she pushed away that persistent nagging voice because _she didn't want to hear it_. How could she have been so stupid? She always told her patients when they were faced with their own challenges to listen to inner voice. She was such a hypocrite for not doing that herself.

_So, what's it going to be, Haley? Your career or your boyfriend?_

Haley slammed on her breaks as an object darted out in front of her car. Her body flung forward, her chest hitting the steering wheel. She froze in horror as she realized how fast she had been going and how careless she'd been. Once she regained her breath, she got out of the car and looked around. Off to her right she heard an animal. She stayed outside for a few more minutes and once she was sure everything was okay, she got back into her car.

This is what it felt like. In her head, she'd laughed at girls who foolishly had their hearts broken by arrogant guys. Even when she tried to empathize with her patients about being hurt by someone you were in love with, she never fully understood what it was like. She had never been in love like this.

This is what it felt like. She felt like she was losing her mind. She was going crazy to avoid feeling the pain in her heart. Maybe she was the one that needed a therapist.

* * *

><p>Nathan was lying in complete darkness on the bed in his bedroom. His heading was pounding. He'd never had a headache like that before. He was used to hangovers, but not this. He tried to drink it away, but after a few sips of a glass of scotch, he felt nauseous. After that, <em>every little thing<em>—the lights, smells and even the sounds of the beach was too much to bear. So he decided to hole up in his room. He doubted Haley would be coming by anyway; not that he'd blame her.

By now he was sure Dr. Rimkus had told her everything and he let that happen. He hadn't even been man enough to face her. Hell, he hadn't even done a damn thing to try and make it better. This time there were no texts, flowers or surprise visits. He'd let it all go.

So, he was shocked when he heard his doorbell ring. He tried to move but couldn't. It was as if his body was paralyzed. After a minute, the doorbell stopped ring. Another minute went by. Then, another. A few more minutes. He was just starting to regain the use of his body when there was a knocking on the glass doors of his bedroom.

Nathan sat up and looked at door and saw Haley. She looked wild with rage with the near full moon illuminating the fire in her eyes. "Fuck," he said closing his eyes.

Haley banged again on the doors. She cupped her hands around her eyes and looked in. By this point, she already knew which way this was going to go and just wanted to get it over with. There was nothing worse than to be left hanging. "I see you in there! Be a man and let me in!"

Nathan got up and opened up the sliding door for her. He took a seat on the bed and put his head in his hands.

Haley shut the door and looked around at the darkened house. "What are you doing here?"

"I have a fucking headache," Nathan gritted out not looking up.

"That makes two of us," Haley said putting one of hands to her head. She stayed across from him and leaned back against the sliding door. She crossed her arms, bracing herself. "I just need to hear you say it. Say it and I'll go."

Nathan looked up. Her weary eyes showed how hurt and angry she was. "What? What do you want me to say?"

"That it's over," Haley said purposely not showing any emotion.

"It's over," Nathan replied in the same fashion.

Haley nodded. "Okay, then. I'll go." She opened the sliding door to leave, but quickly shut it as her curiosity got the best of her. "Just tell me what kind of a deal you had with Dr. Rimkus. I think I deserve to know."

"She didn't tell you?" Nathan asked honestly surprised.

"No. She said I should hear it from you; another one of her mind games. Look, I know you chose your career over us and I'm not going to try and change your mind—"

"That's what you want too, right?" Nathan asked feeling her out. "I'm not the only one here who wants out of this, am I?"

Haley took a seat on the bed next to him. "I don't want out of this, but…"

"But you can't think of a better way, can you?" Nathan knew it was true. He'd played the whole thing over and over in his mind until that damn headache took away his ability to think.

Haley knew she was still at a disadvantage. She didn't have all the information. "What did you do to her?"

"I paid her off," Nathan admitted. "I gave her money so you would be my therapist. That's how I knew her name. I wrote the check out to her. Then, when things started to get real in therapy, I paid her again to get the paperwork signed off. Later, I tried again to get her to take your name off the paperwork, but I think by that time the ethics people—"

"The Ethics Commission."

"Yeah, them…They had already started investigating her. She told you that, right?"

"Yeah. I have to be very careful now with everything I do since they'll be investigating me as well."

Nathan looked down at his hands. "This fucking sucks. You have to know how sorry I am."

"So you bribed her? I mean that's what it really comes down to?" Haley asked looking at him sideways.

"It's illegal, I know. My ass is on the line here, too. If the Lakers find out, I'll probably be blacklisted from all basketball organizations."

"That's what she meant when she said you wouldn't let her make the call. She called your bluff."

"I threatened to turn her in." Nathan turned a little to face Haley more directly. "But I tried using your approach first. I told her how I fell in love with you and how much you mattered to me. I was nice about it—genuine, sincere—"

"It didn't matter. Her career was-_is_-on the line. That's all she was thinking about."

"Did she threaten you, too?" Nathan asked grimacing. "With your time with Matthew?"

"Yup. She also said she would withdraw from cooperating with the Stanford study completely. Not to mention that if she gets cited by The Ethic Commission or if they pull her license, all my hours are voided. I'd have to start over. So now, I have to play by her rules and help make her look good. That's why I think she's keeping me on. She knows it looks good if she as all of these connections with Dr. Greene and Stanford."

"How much did I fuck things up?" Nathan asked remorsefully. He kept shifting his eyes between his hands and the door ahead.

"When it comes to _my career_—this was all probably going to happen anyway. When it comes to _us_,-you should have left things alone. I never should have been your therapist, but that was_ Dr. Rimkus and I's_ fault for letting that happen."

"You cannot blame yourself!" Nathan said clamping his hand over her knee.

"I could have said no, but I didn't. I wanted all those perks she offered me. And deep down, I knew it was wrong. I could have put an end to it, too."

"So what now? Is there any way out of this?"

With that question out there directed at her, tears began to stream down Haley's face. She tried to wipe them away, but they just kept coming. It was finally hitting her. There really wasn't any way out of this. She started to get angry. "I wish you would have told me everything. You should have told me!"

"I know. I'm sorry—"

When she felt Nathan's finger move on her knee, Haley sprung up. She was so sick of hearing those words. "You should buy then in bulk, if you're going to hand out apologies that often!"

Nathan watched as Haley began pace back and forth. "Haley, I will do anything you want. If you can think of something—"

"You should have told me right away! We could have teamed up on her before The Ethics Commission got on board! We could have turned the tables on her!" Haley knew she wasn't really making any sense, but she was just so angry. No matter when he told her, the damage was already done. It was really done the second they had their first therapy session.

Nathan stood up with her. "You're right. I should have told you. I wanted to have it all figured out first, but I couldn't do it," he said desperately.

"So, then what? You left me to deal with this all day and then I come here and you wouldn't let me in!"

"Haley, all along I've had this voice inside of me telling me this was not going to work. I just didn't want to hear it."

Haley stood still and looked at him. "That's what your voice has been telling you?"

"You career is so important and in a different way than mine," Nathan explained. "The second I realized that, right after we saw Matthew, that's when I tried to fix it. When I realized I couldn't, that's when I knew. I was in denial and so were you. I guess we were just living in moment."

"I liked living in the moment," Haley said softly. The anger quickly resurfaced. "I can't believe that you used money with her! It makes me so angry!"

"I don't know what else to say," Nathan said helplessly.

"Let me be mad at you!" Haley quickly realized the absurdity of that statement. "What am I saying? We're breaking up!"

"It doesn't have to be _this way_," Nathan pleaded.

"What way? You mean you we don't have to break up?"

Nathan shuffled in his feet. He finally lifted his head to look at her. "I love you, but I've worked my whole life to get to this point. I need to do it, Hales. I need to see if I'm good enough. I need to go into those tryouts and give it my all. I want to play for the N.B.A. I've always want that and….I just met you…."

This time, not wanting to seem like the desperate girl she felt like, she held back her tears. "You're right. I was stupid to think—"

Nathan reached over and grabbed her arm. "Don't do that. Don't diminish what we had. It's just—What about you, Hales? Are you really telling me that you'd put your career on the line for me?"

"I wouldn't," Haley honestly admitted. It was just easier to put all the blame on him. Truth be told, she felt the same way when it came to prioritizing things.

"Good, because I wouldn't let you."

"I just don't want it to end."

Those words, the line of a familiar song, played over in Nathan's head. "Haley, maybe we could—"

Haley felt the tears stabbing the back of her eyes. She had to get out of there before she lost it again. "I have to go."

Nathan remained still as he watched her walk of those sliding doors and presumably out of his life. Filled with feelings of a magnitude he'd never felt before, he picked up the nearest thing him—the television remote from his nightstand—and threw it across the room. It barely made a thud as hit landed on the floor.

Unsatisfied, he looked around some more. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the cardboard box sitting on the floor of his walk-in closet. He went over, grabbed the box and threw it on his bed. He used all of his aggression to tear through the thick tape binding the box together. Once opened, he yanked away the white packaging. He looked at the gleaming silver laptop before him. His heart started to race. His face flushed read. With two hands, he grabbed it out of the box, walked out of his bedroom and threw it as hard as he could over the railing down to the living room. Once it hit the floor, it made a loud crashing noise, broke open with few pieces splattering away.

This it only made him feel worse. He remembered what Haley told him; that anger was a masking emotion. Well, he was starting to feel what was underneath that anger. He quickly realized there was only one way to ease the pain threatening to overtake his body. He went back into his bedroom and headed out the glass doors. As soon as he was out on the porch, he heard the sobbing.

Sitting halfway down on the porch steps heading to the beach, Haley tried to stop her crying when she heard Nathan come outside. She was able to calm down a little, but her cheeks were still bright red and wet when Nathan took a seat beside her.

"I don't want you here," Haley said harshly.

"Why?"

"Because I don't want your pity. On my way over here I was so upset I almost hit a dog. I wanted to calm down before I got in the car again." Normally the beach would have been a more ideal place to clear her head, but that beach just held memories of her with Nathan. She hadn't been able to make it down there without breaking down.

"I don't pity you, Hales. I'm feeling the same thing you are."

Haley was sure this wasn't the case. She summoned the courage to ask the question that needed to be addressed. "What happens to Matthew?"

"That's what I was trying to say," Nathan said quietly. "We do have some ties, Haley. It's not like we're not going to see each other again."

"Lucas," Haley said nodding.

"And Matthew. I'm not going to ditch him. I can see him when you're not around." Nathan sighed heavily. As he did, their arms brushed against each other. They both looked at each other and shared similar thoughts. It was Nathan who voiced them. "But I don't want to. It wouldn't seem right. I want to go with you."

"I want to be there, too."

With that, Nathan opened up his arm and Haley rested her head against his shoulder. "We could try it. I'd do it for you; for your study. You need me for it?"

"Yes," Haley admitted. "But I feel like I'm using you. It's not right."

"We used each other, Hales. I needed you to help me get my anger under control so I can play in the big leagues. It's a fair trade."

Haley lifted her head up. Nathan's arm remained loosely around her back. "I still don't understand one thing. Why didn't you just pay Dr. Rimkus off right away to sign off your paperwork? If she took the money to pass you off to me, she would have taken it to do that, too."

Nathan had to take a minute to think about it. "I don't know. Maybe….Maybe in some way I wanted your help….or I knew you could help me." He closed his eyes briefly and shook his head. "No." He looked up at her. "It was that elevator ride. I wanted to see you again. I think I thought it was the only shot I'd have. You got to me in a way no one else did and I could see what you thought of me. You wanted nothing to do with me. So, this was my way in. I wanted to be around you. I think that was it."

Haley sighed and rested her head back down on his shoulder. She'd suspected that was it. Hearing it didn't make it any easier. She deserved some shoulder of the blame for this situation. She'd rejected him in that elevator. She'd taken the personal information she knew about him and used it against him to play a psychological mind game. She made an insecure man feel inadequate enough to believe the only way he could get to know her was by bribing his way into her life. Despite all that, he'd still fallen in love with her. He'd seen past her walls and fought his way into her heart. And that's where he stood; lodged deep in her heart.

"I love you, Nathan Scott. I still do. I want you to know that's not going away." She lifted her head to him and saw his blue eyes with the slightest trace of tears. She thought about everything they shared, how she felt and what she knew about his life. "I think…I think I'm going to love you more than anyone ever has and ever will."

Nathan shook his head in disbelief. "Do you remember that song that played when we danced at the bar?"

Haley weakly smiled at that memory. She realized she'd just unwittingly quoted some of the chorus. "I don't know what the name of it was or who sings it."

"Me either, but I know the lyrics; some of them anyway. I remember looking at you when we started to dance and it opened up with a line about being friends."

"What are trying to say?"

"You think we could be friends? Because I honestly don't know if I can deal with you not being in my life."

Haley turned away from him and looked towards the ocean, hoping they would hold the answers for her. "You think we could do that?"

"I'll take what I can get."

"I've never been friends with someone I've dated before." She looked back at him. "You have. Was it easy with you and Peyton?"

Nathan pulled her closed to him and put his head against hers. "What I had with Peyton is nothing like I had with you," he answered honestly. He pulled back and lifted her chin so he could look at her. "But we could try. What's the harm in that?"

Haley didn't have a sufficient answer. The only thing running through her mind was her inner voice telling her that it was not possible to be simply friends with Nathan Scott. "This is so hard. It's so much easier when you hate the person you're breaking up with."

"Yeah," Nathan wholeheartedly agreed. In this case, because he was still so in love with her, he couldn't seem to let go. "I love you, too, Hales, and that's probably not going to change, but who knows? Maybe in five years, with all of this behind us, you and your fancy Ph.D-"

"You as a big shot Lakers man," Haley interjected.

"We can put this all behind us and give it a shot again."

"Five years from now?" Haley asked skeptically.

"There's one thing I'm certain of Haley James. If there's one person out there for me, it's you. Five years from now, it's still going to be you. Maybe we just need to get our careers going right now."

He sounded so logical, so rational and so mature. Was this the way adults dealt with breakups? Hell, Haley was one studying psychology and she was clueless. "So, you want to be friends?"

"We can see Matthew together and we have Lucas' wedding anyway…."

"What about talking? Like on the phone?" Just like always, Haley needed to set some boundaries.

"Do you want to do that?"

"If you want to," Haley said showing her uncertainty. She was quickly hit with a wave of courage. "You know what? Yes. We can do this. I was able to be your therapist and it wasn't a problem. We can be friends. We can do it. And I still want to help you. I want you get through those tryouts and be there when you make the team."

Nathan knew that the best shot he had at maintaining his focus for tryouts was if he had Haley still there to support him. He just didn't want her to risk everything for him. "What about Dr. Rimkus?"

"She said we couldn't have a _romantic_ relationship. Beyond that, she can't change the fact that you're involved in my work with Matthew or that you're my best friend's brother. And she knew that part all along!"

"But what if she finds out?"

"If all we do is talk on the phone and see Matthew together, it won't be a problem. We just have to stick to that."

Nathan couldn't get over how quickly that sharp pain in his heart was fading. This felt so good. He wasn't losing her. She was going to still be in his life. His eyes fell to her lips. A slight aching reappeared in his heart as he realized he would not be able to kiss those lips anytime in the near future.

As if hit by a force, like one of those she could hear crashing in the ocean behind her, Haley put her hands to the sides of his head and pulled him towards her for a kiss.

Shocked, Nathan kept his eyes opened at first. Then, he relaxed, closed his eyes and kissed her back.

They kissed over and over again, in many different ways; tenderly, fiercely, warmly, hungrily, and softly. They were determined not to let go as both understood this was to be the kiss of goodbye to their romantic relationship.

They finally broke apart at the same time.

Haley's eyes spilled over with tears. "I want you to know, that I don't regret any of this."

"Me either. Just because I'm sorry doesn't mean I regret it. I've never felt as alive as I do with you. This is first time I've felt like a man."

It was as if he took some of the words from her head. "I should go." Haley stood up.

Nathan took her hands in hers and squeezed them as he looked into her eyes. "You should go," he agreed.

Haley turned her back to him and he let go of one of his hands. Her other hand remained in his grip. She turned and looked back at him. He squeezed her hand and looked at her with pleading eyes. In that moment, Haley understood everything she needed to know about the change in her relationship with Nathan Scott. She understood how _it was going to be_ and how _it was not going to be_.

She squeezed his hand back.

* * *

><p>Previews of next chapter: "The Take Over, The Breaks Over" (Fall Out Boy)<p>

AN: FF is still acting crazy, so I'd to hear from you in some fashion (pm, twitter or review) if you have time. My stats show that practically no one is reading! I will keep posting if you are reading. I might do _Far Away_ next though.

I have a great preview for you if you want it. The next chapter picks up a week later. FF may filter out some it though (hint, hint). I'm willing to try to get it to you if are interested.

So Naley are going the "friends" route. We'll see how that goes!


	25. Chapter 25

**Disclaimer #1**: Characters, minor plot points and dialogue belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and _One Tree Hill_ writers.

**Disclaimer #2**: Although my career is in the field of psychology, I have taken a lot of liberties with my story. My background is nothing like Haley's in this story. Her story only has _a little_ basis in reality. I know many people in that field who have given me inspiration for details here and there, but this situation is entirely fictional. Please don't take what you read as fact, especially when it comes to the research discussed and ethics of practicing psychology. As with all my stories, you have to use the suspension of disbelief, just as you do with our favorite tv show. The examples in this story are merely for plot purposes. If you do have questions or concerns about the psychological elements of the story, please feel free to pm. I'd love to discuss!

Chapter 25: "The Take Over, The Breaks Over" (Fall Out Boy)

Nathan reached his hands up to touch the breasts bouncing up and down in front of him but quickly gave up. He his arms fall weakly to his side as he closed his eyes and took in the pleasure building throughout this body. He tried to steer his thoughts away from the beauty bring him this pleasure. If he allowed himself to think about it, he was going to lose it. He would do just about anything _not_ to lose it too early and that was going to be a struggle. She was riding him fiercely and didn't seem to be slowing down anytime soon.

Just then, she shifted her position, making his quandary even more difficult. She put her hands on his shoulders, shifted up and slammed her body towards his.

"Fuck, baby," Nathan groaned. He opened up his eyes and had an even better view of those magnificent breasts. This time his hands were able to make their way to them.

"Oh, Nathan. This is so good."

"Yeah, it is," he readily agreed.

"I needed this so bad."

"Anytime," Nathan said as he fondled her breast while watching expressions of joy and ecstasy crossing her face. She dipped her head lower and her long hair fell over her shoulders and surrounded him like a cloak of warmth and security. "I dreamed about this."

"You did?" Nathan asked through a staggered breath.

"I came by last night. You didn't answer."

"I was on the beach. You should have-Oh, God, that's good," he said as she shifted to using one hand to brace herself.

"You like that?" She purred.

"Uh-huh," Nathan murmured. "God, I want to make your dreams come true."

Then next thing he knew, his head was pushed into her breasts. He began roughly handling one of them with his hand, while he let his mouth work on the other. He tickled her nipple with his tongue, then began to suck hard, then raked his teeth over it, nipping her gently. She let out a high pitched scream, then pushed him back against him couch.

As best he could, Nathan watched her ride out that orgasm, but it didn't last very long. She acted as if her body was on fire and tore into him with a fury that took away all his self-control. He ran his hands up and down the sides of her body as he let a weak series of moan. As she continued moving, he knew she was coming again, and again—honestly, he had no idea how many times she came, but it was definitely more than once.

When she was done, she flung her head back and pushed her hair away from her face. She shook her head and regained her breath. A second later, she was off of him walking down the hall.

"You want something to drink?" She called out.

Nathan meekly stayed on that couch both physical and mentally stunned. What the hell had just happened? One minute she was frantically ringing his doorbell. The next, she was walking past him dropping her clothes along the way. By the time she reached the living room she was naked. At that point, she tore into him-all of that without an exchange of words. And he let her do it. Hell, he happily let her do it.

When he heard her approaching, her question clicked. He silently cursed himself knowing that all he had was beer and Gatorade. He'd meant to run out to the market, but he'd spent most of the week moping around. He hadn't anticipated that. Just being friends was supposed to spare him that heartache. In the end, he found that talking on the phone just wasn't enough. He always wanted more.

Nathan's eyes widened and a boyish grin spread across his face as he was handed a beer.

"What are you smiling at?"

"Is that Doctor Haley James standing in front me as naked as the day she was born drinking a beer?"

Haley rolled her eyes. It wasn't worth wasting her breath correcting the "doctor" remark. Instead, she shrugged it off and took a sip of her beer. "I figured all shame went out the window when I showed up at your door."

Nathan opened up his arm. "Come here." As Haley settled down next to him, he grabbed the blanket hanging over the back of the couch and covered them up with it. He took a drink from his beer as his thoughts settled down. "That was….uh….unexpected."

"I know," Haley laughed. All of a sudden, she flushed with embarrassment. "Was that bad? That I did that? That I came here?"

"No," Nathan snickered taking another swig of his beer. "I meant what I said—anytime."

Haley thought this over. Anytime? Was this going to be regular thing? Could she do that? She knew he was game for it. He'd done it before. Then, she remembered what he'd told her about how it made him feel after he hooked up with Rachel.

Haley put her beer down and shifted to her knees so she was eye level with him. "Does this make you feel weak?"

"What?" Nathan asked incomprehensibly.

"You said…." Haley shifted up and down on her knees as she tried to get a grip on all the emotions she was feeling. How could she not see this before? She had been so selfish coming over here just to fulfill her needs. "You once told me that being with Rachel like this made you feel weak. Is that how you're going to feel with me? Am I going to make you feel weak?"

Nathan shook his head in disbelief and set down his beer. He turned to her, took a breath to speak and then stopped and shook his head again. He took one of her hands in his. "Haley James, what you and I _have_-_had_-_have_-whatever this is—is nothing like what I had with Rachel. You could never make me feel weak. It's the complete opposite. When I'm with you—"

Haley put her hand up. "Stop, stop. This is too hard. I get the point. And we're just friends, anyway, right? This doesn't change anything, will it?"

Nathan could see how upset she was. He was desperate to comfort her. "No. We're friends. Nothing's going to change that."

Haley nodded. They both relaxed, sitting back against the couch with her head resting on his shoulder. "You friendship means too much to me, Nathan. Even just talking on the phone….It helped get me through the past week."

"I think that, uh, I missed _seeing_ you, too. I'd like to see you, too. Think we could do that?"

"Like this?"

Nathan rubbed her arm. "I wouldn't mind this."

"Of course you wouldn't," Haley said rolling her eyes.

Nathan kissed the side of her head. "Hales, let me tell you about Rachel. Then, maybe you'll understand me a little better."

Haley straightened up. "Okay."

Nathan wasn't sure where to start. Haley already knew some of the story from their personal conversations, therapy and through Lucas. He decided to forget all of that and tell her everything, even if it meant repeating what she already knew.

"Rachel transferred to Tree Hill High during senior year. I never really paid much attention to her because she had this competition with Brooke and went after Lucas, but everything changed when we got stuck in the Tutor Center during the school shooting. While were there, I saw a different side to her; she was scared, especially when we realized Jimmy Edwards was the shooter and he was in there with us. So after that, we bonded. Then, she stuck by me when my Uncle died and uh, we were like a couple, I guess."

"It was always full of drama though. We fought a lot. She'd try to make me jealous—it worked. Eventually, I got sick of it. I was planning on ending it after graduation and then—You remember Mouth? McFadden?"

"Yeah. He was friends with Lucas growing up."

"Well, I guess he had a thing for Rachel because he—Ready for this, Hales?"

Haley nodded and silently braced herself.

"Mouth told me how Rachel slept with my uncle!"

Haley gasped and covered her mouth with her hand. "No! Keith wouldn't—"

"Not Keith! My Uncle Coop! My mom's brother!"

"Oh," Haley said wincing. It was all starting to make sense.

"So I confronted them and my uncle told me that he didn't know how young Rachel was and she told me it was just _before_ the school shooting. Then, Luke figured out it was my dad that shot Keith and I just—I let it go with Rachel. Mouth tried to tell me that they were lying, but I didn't want to believe him. I convinced myself he was just jealous."

"So, Rach went out to UCLA for college and I went to Duke. Things got worse. We barely saw each other and when we did, we fought. I mean, I was partying. I can't deny that and she hated that, but she was doing it, too. After a semester, I tried to break it off. That's when she told me that my uncle lied. She said that they'd slept together _after_ he knew her age, when we _together_—" Nathan paused and closed his eyes as the feelings of regret and stupidity came back to him. "—and she was just so vulnerable again—it was just like when we were in the Tutor Center. She played the part of the victim so well; like he took advantage of her! So, I didn't end up breaking up with her. I forgave her and blamed my uncle and we decided to give it another shot."

"That took a lot of courage," Haley said running her hand through his hair.

"That was fucking stupid. It only lasted through second semester because we didn't see each other. Basketball picked up for me and she started getting modeling gigs. Then, when we were both home in Tree Hill for the summer, we fought again. We were in a fight when we headed off sophomore year and things just kind of fizzled out. We never officially broke up, but I started seeing other girls and she was out with guys and neither one of us cared. This went on for a while. We saw each other a few times, but when we weren't together, it was like—we weren't together. Luke saw what was happening and by the end of sophomore year, he had me convinced to end it once and for all. When Rachel landed a big modeling gig and told me she was going to drop out of college, I figured it was time."

"That's when you broke up?"

"Yeah, but she flipped out. I mean, legit when _crazy_. She hated that I was the one to break up with her. It's like she wanted me there hanging by a string whenever she wanted. But I stayed firm this time and that's when she let me have it. She told me that she'd been sleeping with my uncle _all along_. She told me that all I was just a—" Nathan quoted with his fingers, "younger, cheaper version of the man she really wanted."

"Oh, Nathan," Haley said biting her lip. "That's horrible. Why would she do that to you?"

"Because she's Rachel; she's a selfish bitch who's used to getting what she wants." Nathan hated seeing the pity in Haley's eyes. "Look, Hales, don't feel bad for me. I let that happen. Everyone tried to tell me a million times, but I didn't want to hear it. I didn't want to believe that someone could be that cruel—two people really. I don't speak to my uncle anymore either. I just wish my mom cut him off."

"She didn't?"

"No. She doesn't talk to him much, but she doesn't talk to me much either. Anyway, junior year I kind of lost it for a while, I'm sure Luke told you about my reputation then—"

"Not really." In fact, it was then that Lucas started playing up his brother to her.

"—Then senior year, I straightened out. Things looked good. It all changed at that game—the one you went to. You said that you thought I was looking at you—I wasn't. It was Rachel. She showed up and I left with her. I don't even know why. It's like I was trying to punish myself—"

"—Self-destruction," Haley blurted out the proper term.

"—I knew I had two choices before me. I could have met up with you—this amazing person that I'd been hearing about for years that somehow my brother thought I was good enough to be with-or this horrible person that hurt me in unimaginable ways. That's what made me weak, Hales. Picking her that night instead of you."

"So you spent that night with her?"

"No!" Nathan exclaimed. "I knew she was only there because it was a big game and I was doing so well. She always came creeping around for the glory. I ended up ditching her and going back to the hotel and drinking myself to sleep. But here's the messed up part—I let Luke _think_ I hooked up with her. To this day, that's what he thinks happened."

Haley nuzzled her face into his neck. "Oh, Nathan."

"Stop saying that!"

Haley lifted her head up. She couldn't help it. It all made perfect sense. It fit perfectly with the psychological profile she built for him. He was misunderstood by so many people. Worst of all was that he didn't even understand himself and his own value. "I don't want to ever make you feel like that."

"Didn't you listen, Hales? You're the _right_ choice. Being with you—I mean being _friends_ with you," he corrected himself, "is the best thing for me. It's what's going to make a difference when I go to those tryouts, I can feel it."

"Well, I feel selfish being here. I just had such a bad day."

Nathan thought about her day. It was Tuesday. She'd been with Matthew. "What happened with my boy?"

"He bit me," Haley quietly admitted.

"What? He bit you?" Nathan lifted up the blanket and looked at the arm Haley lifted up for him. Just above her wrist, there was a very distinct set of teeth marks. "God, he broke skin and everything. What happened?"

"He was having a fit and I tried to do that thing you did with him—Yeah, it didn't work. I guess my arms aren't the same as yours."

"Do you know why he was doing that?" Nathan asked.

"He was trying to tell us something and Linda and I just couldn't figure out what it was. He wanted something. He was babbling and throwing things and then he shut down and started rocking. We still don't know what it was."

"That's rough. I still don't know how you do it." He looked again at the teeth marks. "Do you need a Band-Aid for this?"

Haley jerked her arm away. "No! It's fine."

"Well, I'm glad you came by. Now, I can take care of you."

Haley felt her cheeks heat up. "I don't need you to take care of me. I just wanted to let off some steam."

"I think you did that. I wish you did last night, too. You really came by then?"

"I rang the bell once and chickened out. I wasn't planning on doing this though. I'm kind of embarrassed now."

Nathan could see that despite his story about Rachel, she was continuing to beat herself up about coming over to his place. He had to do something. Otherwise, it wouldn't happen again. He pulled up the blanket and hopped off the couch. "Wait right here."

Haley kept the blanket close to her and watched him jet down the hallway. She sunk back down on the couch but sprinted back up when she heard the front door open. What was going on? What was he doing?

A minute later, the door closed and Nathan came back over to her.

Haley's mouth dropped open as he stood came back over and sat down next to her. "Did you just go outside naked?"

"No one's out there," Nathan said dismissively. He held up a key and her key ring. "This is the spare key to my place." He started putting it on her ring. "I'm giving it to you so we don't have anything like last night happening again."

"Nathan," Haley sighed.

"Don't say it, Hales. It's done." Nathan held up the key ring and then put down. "Anytime you want to come over and work, use my laptop, or…" He scooted up next to her. She opened up the blanket for him and he moved his naked body next to hers. "…or do things like this, you use that key. No questions asked."

"I don't know," Haley said uncertainly.

Nathan started kissing her neck as he fondled one of her breasts. "Does this feel good, Haley?"

"You know it does," Haley giggled.

"Do you like to feel good?"

"Nathan…"

"You need to stop saying my name like that. In fact, how about we head up to the bedroom, so I can hear you scream my name."

"You don't want me to go?"

"No. I want you to spend the night; just like you always do."

"It can't be like before. We need—"

Nathan sat up and braced himself. "Okay. Let's go. What are the disclaimers?"

"Boundaries, Nathan. They're boundaries."

"Because we do so great with those," he joked.

Haley didn't laugh. "It has to be different this time. It's the only way this will work."

Nathan's smile faded and he grew serious. "What are you thinking?"

"Our friendship comes first. I think we both have too many things to going on in our lives to ruin that."

"Okay. But what about…you know…" Nathan said cocking his head.

"Now you're getting shy?" Haley laughed. "Call it what it is, Nathan. I believe the term is fuck-buddy."

Nathan flinched. He remembered using that term with her the first day they met on the elevator. He had been so crude then. "I prefer the term friend with benefits."

"Well I'm pretty sure friends don't spend the night at each other's houses sleeping in the same bed."

"Actually, I'll have you know that Lucas and I had to share a room senior year at the Sparkle Classic. They only gave us one bed—"

"And you made him sleep on the floor!" Haley proudly pointed out.

"He told you that story?"

"Yes. Nice try though."

"Spend the night," Nathan pleaded. He moved his lips back to her neck. "I know you want to. And I sleep better with you. I haven't been sleeping, either."

Haley ran her hand through his hair as he kissed her neck, collarbone and shoulder. She didn't like the fact that he wasn't sleeping again. He had kept that from her when they talked. "Are you worried about tryouts?"

Nathan popped his head up. "I've haven't been working out like I should. I really need to get my shit together. So, please? Please stay?"

Haley smiled and laughed. He was absolutely irresistible to her. "You still have all my things?"

"What do you think? You think I threw them out? Is that what you did with my stuff?"

"No. It's all there. Waiting for you," She said testing him.

"I thought about coming over, Hales. I wanted to. I really did. And I had dreams about you, too," He assured her as he opened the blanked and looked her up and down. "In fact, why don't we make one of my dreams come true?"

"I'm not having sex on the beach," Haley shot out.

Nathan laughed. "Who said anything about that?" He laughed harder as her cheeks blushed. "Oh, I get it. That was another one of your dreams, wasn't it?"

"No," Haley said bring the blankets back close to her. "Stop it. Stop teasing me!"

That confirmed it for Nathan. That was definitely one of her fantasies. He stood up and held out his hand for her. "Come on. Get your mind out of the gutter. To the bedroom."

Once Haley was on her feet, Nathan reached under her arms and picked her up. Loving the feel of his naked body against hers, Haley clasped her hands around his neck and legs around his waist. She let him carry her up the stairs, but felt the need to protest. "Why do you always think you need to carry me? I'm not some helpless female, you know."

"Maybe because the first time I saw you, you almost tripped over your own feet in your office building's lobby?"

"I forgot about that."

"First impressions, Hales. They last a long time." As they reached the top of the stairs, Nathan stopped. He looked her up and down. He could feel her breasts moving up and down against his chest as she breathed. His heart began to beat faster as the sexual tension between the two of them increased. With one swift movement, he took a few steps, pushed Haley up against the wall and began furiously kissing her. As Haley clung to him, he broke away and repositioned himself. He looked into Haley's eyes and saw a mixture of approval and excitement. He pushed into her in single thrust.

"Nathan!" Haley gasped.

Nathan smirked. "In my dream, we didn't make it to the bedroom."

* * *

><p>The next morning after showering and getting ready for work, Haley awkwardly lingered in Nathan's bedroom unsure of how to leave. As usual, he was half-asleep, half-awake as she scurried about. Typically, he'd stay that way until she came over and kissed him goodbye. She wasn't sure if that was still appropriate.<p>

Feeling like he was being watched, Nathan's eyes flew open. As soon as they made eye contact, Haley turned her back towards him, as it to leave. Nathan sat up and called out to her. "Hey! Don't leave me like that!"

Haley turned back around and slowly walked over to the side of his bed.

Nathan took her arm and pulled her back down so she was sitting by the edge. "Hey, I don't want you to feel bad about leaving here like this. Do you? Is this too hard for you?"

"It's hard. I just want it to work."

"Friendship first?"

"And no one can know. _No one_," she heavily emphasized. "Not my mom, not Lucas, not a _single_ person. This says between _you and me_. That's the only way…"

"I won't tell anyone. I promise."

"Always?" Haley questioned him.

"And forever," Nathan answered her.

With that said, Haley bent down and gave him a soft kiss.

"I'll call you later," Nathan said as she got up to leave.

"But not—"

"Not at work! I know, Hales!"

Haley smiled and shut the doors to his bedroom. She headed downstairs and laughed when she saw the trail of clothes everywhere. She decided to let him deal with them. Apparently it wouldn't be a big deal anyway since she would be back at some point. She grabbed her keys and flipped through them and fingered the key Nathan had added. It was such a sweet, grand gesture and she knew he meant it. The vision she had the first time she went to his house came back to her. She could see herself using that key to come here do work when she needed focus.

Inspired, Haley headed outside to her car. She rummaged through her glove compartment and fished out a spare key to her apartment. She went back inside Nathan's house and put the key right by his coffeemaker. She added a simple note: _In case your bed feels too big._

As she left his house and headed to work, for the first time in a week, her heart felt filled. She told herself this was good. If nothing else, having that piece of mind would help her focus while at work and she really needed to do that. Dr. Rimkus was in a foul mood all of the time now and Haley and Nina were functioning as each other's support system. Between the two of them, they were able to keep everything in check. They would need to keep that up since The Ethics Commission was due in the following week for a meeting with Dr. Rimkus.

* * *

><p>When Haley got out of her car, she watched as two men struggled to pick up a tv left on the curb. She tried not to gawk, but that tv had a distinctive crack in the back. It looked just like the one she had that she'd dropped when she moved in to the place. Upon taking a second glance around, she saw Nathan's Range Rover parked across the street. "Oh, no!"<p>

She hurried up the stairs and down the corridor to her apartment. She fumbled getting the key into the slot and then flung open the door. "You didn't!"

Nathan was sitting back on Haley's couch, remote in hand, with a broad smile on his face as he sat across from the large flatscreen television he'd just finish setting up. "Come on. Tell me you didn't expect this when you left me that key."

"I did not…" Haley kicked the door closed behind her. "What are you doing here?" She asked, still in shock as she put her hand to her head.

"It's Wednesday. It's cuddle night. Now what do you want for dinner?"

"Nathan, friends don't cuddle."

Nathan put down the remote and smirked at her. "Maybe _you_ don't cuddle with _your friends_, but _I do_. I'm like a big teddy bear, so if we're going to be friends, this is how it's going to be."

Haley put set her purse down and plopped herself down next to him on the couch. "What am I going to do with you?"

Nathan ignored her and picked back up the remote. "You have to admit, this is a world of difference. Once you get hi-def, you can't go back…"

Haley shook her head and listened to him speak animatedly about the tv as he flipped around the channels and pointed out all of the features of the menu options. She began stroking his hair as she intently watched his face.

Nathan saw that Haley had that look in her eyes; the one that drove him crazy. "You're not listening to a word I'm saying, are you?"

Haley shook her head. She pulled his cheek to her lips and kissed it. "Thank you."

Nathan turned his face to hers and moved as close to her as he could. "The cheek? Really? That's all I get?"

Haley closed her eyes, leaned forward and gave herself freely to him. Within a minute, Nathan had her flat on her back as they heavily made out.

* * *

><p>After a long day at work on Friday, Haley was chatting with Nathan on her cellphone as she packed up to leave. They'd been texting back and forth all day arguing about where to spend the night. Although she'd spend the previous night at his place, she was determined to sleep there again since she didn't have to work the next morning. Nathan didn't seem thrilled with the idea, but Haley also knew how he liked to tease her. She couldn't tell if that was the case just through the text messages. So, as she was set to leave, she gave him a call to figure it out. She quickly saw that he wasn't teasing but had conceded to stay at his place.<p>

"Well, if this is our routine, I want to change it. Don't I get a say in that?" Nathan huffed out.

"I worked all week, Nathan, and I really just want to unwind by the beach. You said anytime…"

"So you've reminded me. It just makes sense that we stay at your place since we have that birthday party with Matthew's family to go to."

"How does that make sense?" Haley pressed him.

"It just does."

"Is this about the bed again?"

"I want to get a smaller one. I'm just too lazy to do it."

"What a waste of money!"

"No," Nathan argued. "I'd put my bed in the guest room. I need to set that up anyway."

"The one with all the boxes? That would mean you'd have to clear that out."

"I need to do that anyway. I want to have a huge party when I make the team. I'll even let you help me plan it."

Haley rolled her eyes but smiled. He was always trying to get her to do things like that. In this case, it sounded like something she wouldn't mind doing. "I've never thrown a party before."

"Are you stopping at your place first?" Nathan asked.

"I wasn't planning on it. I'm about to leave now. Why? You need something?"

"I want you to bring that stupid bear over here."

"The stupid bear? You mean my bear; the one you won for me?"

"Yes," Nathan answered. "It's too big for your room and it freaks me out."

Haley laughed at him. "A stuffed animal freaks you out?"

"Just leave it here."

"No. It's mine."

"But it's sitting in the corner of your room taking up space," Nathan pointed out.

"I sleep with it sometimes," Haley sheepishly admitted. Finished packing up, Haley sat down at her desk and began doodling as she talked to him.

"What? When?"

"When you're not there." It had only been for a week, but she used the bear to try and fill the void in her bed where he slept.

Nathan burst into a fit of laughter as he envisioned Haley with the giant bear in her bed.

Haley got annoyed as Nathan continued to laugh. She set the phone down and waited for him to stop. While she was waiting, her office phone rang. She let Nathan continue his laugher and joking, which she could hear even with the phone away from her ear.

Haley answered her office phone. "Hey, Nina. You heading out? I'll take the elevator down with you." It was only when she was alone that she had trouble riding that thing.

"I am, but you have someone here to see; Mr. Scott."

"I'm going to kill you!" Haley shouted at her cellphone.

Nina laughed. "Ha! No fooling you. It's Lucas Scott. Want me to let him in?"

"Right," Haley said quickly recovering. "Let Lucas in. And have a good weekend, Nina."

"You, too."

Haley hung up her office phone and picked up her cellphone.

"What? What did I do?" Nathan was asking.

"Lucas is here. I have to go."

"What's he doing there?"

"I don't know," Haley sighed.

"What are you going to tell him?"

"Everything, but….you know…" There was a knock at the door. "Okay. Gotta go."

Haley put her cellphone down and walked over to the door. She opened it up and greeted Lucas with a hug. "Hey! What are you doing here?"

Lucas pulled away and walked into her office. "Just checking in. Seeing how things are going."

"Oh. Things are fine. Work is busy. Nothing new."

Lucas put his hands in his pockets and cocked his head at her. "Come on, Hales. You don't have to hide how you're feeling with me."

"What do you mean?" Haley asked wondering what he heard.

"I know this breakup must be tough for you," Lucas said showing his concern.

"Right," Haley said immediately trying to show him the feelings he wanted to see. She quickly regretted that. The truth was, she was fine. "Luke, you know that Nathan and I are still friends, right? Like we talk and stuff?"

"Yeah, but I know that must make it worse."

"No, it doesn't. It helps."

"I saw how you two looked at each other, Hales. That part of you has to be hurting."

"That's why we're friends," Haley tried to explain. "It doesn't hurt so much this way."

"I don't care what you say," Lucas said eyeing her up and down. "I'm not making the same mistake I did before and leaving you hanging when you need me. How about I take you out to dinner?"

Hale felt like she had no choice. "Sure." She picked up her cellphone and saw a text from Nathan. "Know what? I actually have to call your brother. We're going to birthday party for someone in Matthew's family tomorrow. I want to make sure he knows what time."

"Okay. Cool." Lucas headed over to the windows as Haley called Nathan.

"Is he gone?" Nathan asked as he answered the phone.

"Hey, Nathan! Haley. I wanted to let you know what time the party is at."

"Why? Are we going together?" Nathan asked, not following along.

"It's at one, but I don't want to be the first one's there. I was thinking of leaving a little before that."

"He's still there," Nathan said understanding.

"Actually, your brother is here. He's taking me out to dinner."

"Haley!" Nathan exclaimed disappointedly. "I just fired up the grill."

"So, yeah. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Haley!"

Haley hung up the phone and smiled at Lucas. "Ready?"

* * *

><p>In the end, Haley enjoyed her dinner with Lucas. They didn't spend much time talking about her and Nathan's breakup, but they didn't need to. The conversation naturally drifted to many other topics. Before she knew it, dinner was over and Lucas was walking her out to her car. They shared a hug, but before they parted ways, Lucas stopped Haley from getting in her car.<p>

"What?" Haley asked.

"I just want to be sure you're okay. I know he's my brother, but I'm here for you, too."

"I know, Luke, and I appreciate that. Really, I do. It's just that I'm okay." Haley saw that he still wasn't convinced. "It's because we're friends. You get that, right? You were able to do that with Brooke."

Lucas scratched his chin. "It took a long time for that to sort itself out. And you and Nate just broke up…."

"But we ended it without any hard feelings. It's not like I was in love with his best friend or anything." Haley regretted saying that as Lucas flinched. "Sorry, but it's true. We were mature about it and I think that made a difference."

"I guess," Lucas said shrugging. "So, you're seeing him tomorrow?"

"We've had those plans for a while and we agreed to not to let Matthew be affected by our personal issues."

"Won't it be awkward?"

"No," Haley said looking down and then back up. "I don't think so." She decided to be a little more honest with him. She pointed to her heart. "The feelings are still there, okay? But I'm learning to control them. It helps to know we both have things at stake here and we're on the same page."

"Alright then," Lucas said nodding. "So you might go to one of his games?"

"Yes. Once things settle down. He's my friend, Lucas. I don't think you're understanding that, but I would support him just like I would support you."

"Peyton will be happy to hear that," Lucas smiled.

"You don't have to worry about the wedding," Haley assured him smiling back. "I told her that."

"I think I needed to see you to be sure you were okay."

"Thanks." They shared one more hug and this time parted ways.

After a few minutes of driving, she turned back on her cellphone. There were two texts from Nathan. Instead of reading them, she called him.

"Hey!" Nathan answered excitedly. "Since I didn't hear back from you, I ended up grabbing a bottle of wine."

"Oh, Nathan."

"What? Don't do that. I hate it when you do that!"

"Lucas was following me, so I decided to head home instead. I'm pretty sure he's heading to your place."

"Fuck, Haley. I've been waiting around for you all night!"

"I know, but what could I do? He's worried about us."

"What did you tell him?"

"That we're still close and talk. I just didn't tell him we've been seeing each other."

"Okay. So, I'll call you when he leaves. Maybe we can still do something."

"Okay. And be nice to him, alright? And hey, you could always have a glass of wine with him! Lucas likes wine!"

"Of course he does," Nathan said snidely.

"Be nice!" Haley reminded him.

Nathan hung up the phone and idly walked around his housing waiting for Lucas. When Lucas arrived, he was waiting by the door to greet him. He hoped to get him in and out as quickly as possible. "Hey! Luke! What a surprise!"

Lucas shook his head in disbelief as he walked into the house. "You knew I was coming?"

"I figured I was the next stop on the Lucas Scott Breakup Tour." Nathan shut the door but didn't go anywhere, intentionally setting up an uncomfortable talking position in the foyer. "So how is Haley? Have a good dinner?"

"Yeah, it was good. And oddly enough," Lucas said scratching the back of his neck, "so was she." He pointed at Nathan. "And you seem good, too."

"Yeah, I'm fine. Don't have to worry about me."

"Except your home alone on Friday night," Lucas pointed out. "No worries." He began walking down the hallway towards the living room. "I'm here. Let's get some N.B.A. Live going."

"Fuck," Nathan muttered to himself. He slowly began to follow Lucas down the hall knowing this was going to lead to sap hour a few hours of his time. Lucas was always trying to beat him at the damn game and rarely ever did. He was content to keep trying though. Yeah, Lucas definitely wasn't going to be in and out.

* * *

><p>Nathan picked up his cellphone looked at it and set it back down. He continued on playing the game with Lucas.<p>

"Who keeps texting you? Is it Haley?"

"That was Clay," Nathan answered truthfully. The past five texts had been from Haley, but she'd gone to bed a half hour ago. "Another person who likes to check in on me. You'd think I was a five year old."

"He knows about Haley?" Lucas asked.

"No, he doesn't and don't go telling him either," Nathan said sharply.

"Isn't he going to meet her? Since you're still friends?" Lucas asked with a sideways glance.

Nathan kept his eyes glued to the television screen. "Yes. He'll be introduced to her as one our friends."

"You really think this is going to work?" Lucas asked skeptically.

"It already is," Nathan said simply.

"So what did you two talk about anyway?" Lucas asked nonchalantly.

"You mean in therapy?"

"Did you talk about Dan?" Lucas asked hesitantly.

Nathan paused the game. He and Lucas rarely talked about their father over the past few years. When they started playing basketball together, they put their differences aside and became friends. It really wasn't anything more than that until Dan shot Keith. After that, Nathan disowned his father which allowed him to bond with Lucas as a brother. Still, there really wasn't much to say when it came to Dan.

"We did a little," Nathan started to explain. "From what I get though, the therapy that Haley does gets you more to think about things on your own."

"So you've been thinking a lot about him?"

"I've thought about the effect he's had on me. My anger does come partially from him but Haley helped me see that what it comes down to is my insecurities."

"You're insecure?" Lucas asked raising his eyebrow.

Nathan closed his eyes for a second. "You don't know what it was like, Luke. You were only around him for two years during basketball seasons. I lived with that man _every day_. He hardwired me to doubt myself; to question everything I do. He made me believe I was inferior to him—not worthy. That's why I think I kept back going back to Rachel. Haley called it being self-destructive."

"I can see that. She's really helped you, huh?"

"She's changed my world, which is why I need to keep her in it. So, yes, we're friends; friends first."

"She's also making you smarter," Lucas said out of the side of his mouth.

Without warning, Nathan unpaused the game.

"Hey!" Lucas protested.

"Oh, get off it. You can't blame your bad heart for sucking playing this. Yes! There!" Nathan threw down his game controller and stood up. "Are we done? Have I beaten you enough times?"

Lucas reluctantly set down the remote and stood up. "For tonight anyway." He pointed at Nathan. "Rematch?"

"Sure." Nathan walked Lucas over to the door.

"Hey, I'm sorry, man, that it didn't work out with you and Hales. I really thought you had some special there," Lucas said sadly.

"We did," Nathan said feeling a twinge of that sadness. It went away went as he reminded himself of their arrangement.

"I didn't realize it was so complicated."

"It is now, but Haley and I talked and maybe in a few years, it'll be different."

"Wow," Lucas said impressed. "Sounds very mature." He looked towards the kitchen counter and smirked at Nathan. "Hey, is that a bottle of wine I see there? What were you doing before I came here? Reading a book?"

Nathan turned his brother around and gave him push towards the door. "Goodbye, Luke."

Nathan waited until Lucas had pulled out of the driveway before he began making his way through his house, shutting off all the lights. He thought about what he needed. Clothes? No, he had some at Haley's. Did she need anything from his place? She had some laundry, but he figured she'd take care of that on Sunday. The bottle of wine? No, that could stay for next time she was over. His bathing suit since it was a pool party? He had one at her place since she had a pool. So….nothing. He ended up just taking his cellphone and car keys and heading out.

Ten minutes later, he passed Lucas on the freeway.

Ten minutes after that, he was in Haley's bedroom. He stifled his laughter as he took the bear off her bed and put it back in the corner with its face pointed towards the wall. He stripped down to his boxers and got into bed with Haley. Five minutes later, he was sound asleep.

* * *

><p>Preview of next chapter: "Distance" (Christina Perri)<p>

AN: I really want to thank each and every one of you for reviewing the last chapter! I did that w/as many of you as I could. Some I couldn't because you don't have FF accounts, so to those of you-Thanks! I really needed that boost since this website has been so wacky and interfering with me getting feedback. I'm happy to report (w/out jinxing it, I hope) it seems to be _okay_. It's not fixed since its stats are not accurate, but I have been able to post and get messages! Yay!

So, what do you think of this turn of events? Like? Dislike? Like I said before, this is the second arc of the story! Lots of angst, but also more of this! Next chapter is the birthday party w/Matthew! I loved writing it and it came so easy to me. Hope you like it.

Don't expect an update soon. Back to work for me. As always, I will update when I can.

Thanks for reading and for your support!


	26. Chapter 26

**Disclaimer #1**: Characters, minor plot points and dialogue belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and _One Tree Hill_ writers.

**Disclaimer #2**: Although my career is in the field of psychology, I have taken a lot of liberties with my story. My background is nothing like Haley's in this story. Her story only has _a little_ basis in reality. I know many people in that field who have given me inspiration for details here and there, but this situation is entirely fictional. Please don't take what you read as fact, especially when it comes to the research discussed and ethics of practicing psychology. As with all my stories, you have to use the suspension of disbelief, just as you do with our favorite tv show. The examples in this story are merely for plot purposes. If you do have questions or concerns about the psychological elements of the story, please feel free to pm me. I'd love to discuss!

I need to extend my sincere thanks to **Chat1** for help and inspiration with this chapter. I took so many ideas from her, so she deserves proper credit. This chapter would not have been possible w/out her!

Chapter 26: "Distance" (Christina Perri)

Haley and Nathan woke up at nearly the same time. Filled with contentedness, they lazily stayed in bed lying on their sides facing each other.

"Hey," Haley finally said.

"Hey," Nathan said back.

"I didn't hear you come in."

"It was late."

"I guess you got _your_ way," Haley said wryly since they were sleeping at her place.

"Yup. I got to fall sleep _with you_."

Haley put her thumb to his cheek. "Aren't you sweet!"

"What's the game plan for today?"

"I told you. It starts at one p.m. There's a pool—"

"I meant with _us_," Nathan clarified. "Are we telling them we broke up?"

Haley had given that some thought. She hadn't arrived at a comfortable conclusion. "Matthew wouldn't understand that anyway."

"Linda and Jared would."

Haley sighed. "It would just be easier if we pretended…"

"Is that what you want to do?"

"What do you want to do?"

"This is your thing, Doc. If you think that it could throw things off with your study, then we can just not say anything."

Haley hadn't even thought about that. It was tipping point she was looking for. "Let's do that."

"What about when it's just the two of us?" Nathan asked casually.

"Nathan, don't do that," Haley cautioned him. Things were going so well. She did not want to jinx that.

Nathan swooped over her and started tickling her. "How about this? Am I allowed to do this?"

"No! No! Stop it!"

Nathan stopped tickling her and put one hand and under her nightshirt. He tenderly stroked her stomach and looked at her intently. "How about this? Am I allowed to do this?" He asked huskily.

Haley weakly nodded. "I like it when you touch me like that."

As Nathan looked deep in to her big brown eyes, he was overcome with emotion. "Can I tell you I love you? Is that allowed?"

Haley closed her eyes and turned her head away. "Nathan….Why are you doing this?" She looked back and him and was relieved to see he wasn't hurt. "Friends. We need to work on just being friends."

"So that's a no?" Nathan asked unfazed. To him, this just seemed like a game. All he was doing was figuring out the rules. "Well, then," he flashed her a smirk to let her know he was teasing her, "I….._don't_….love…you."

"Nathan," Haley said pushing his face away from her.

Nathan laughed. He began to get out bed. "But I do want to have sex with you."

"Nathan!"

He stopped at the door and looked back at her. "Not now. Tonight. At my place. Tonight, you get your way."

* * *

><p>As Haley and Nathan walked up the driveway to the birthday party, he grabbed her hand.<p>

Haley looked at her hand, then back up at Nathan. "Nathan, we don't have to play this up. In fact, we should probably keep our distance."

"It's just for today," Nathan assured her.

Haley nodded and squeezed his hand back.

They went straight to the backyard of the house, where all the action was. Nathan looked around in awe. There were children running around, people milling about and tons of party festivities going on. The most noticeable features were the bouncy house and dunk tank. Besides that were decorations, colorful balloons, a hanging piñata and large underground pool. "Wow."

Haley looked around. "I know. I thought this was supposed to be low-key."

"This is like a circus."

"My brother always throws a party like this for his kids."

Nathan looked at her in disbelief. "Like this?"

"Yeah. I always thought it was a bit much, but who am I kidding? If I had kids, I'll probably do the same. Birthdays come once a year."

"Birthdays were never big in my house. They always seem to interfere with basketball clinics."

This was unfathomable to Haley. It quickly became her mission to make sure Nathan enjoyed himself today. He deserved to see what birthday celebrations should look like.

Nathan pointed ahead. "Hey! Look! It's really like a circus!" He exclaimed.

Once Haley saw what he was pointing at, she moved behind him and clasped her hands around his waist. "No, no, no!"

"What?" Nathan asked trying to look at her. It was no use. She was clinging to him ferociously. "Is it the clown? Are you afraid of clowns?" He snickered.

Haley began to move them towards the back porch where she could see Linda and Jared. Linda held her hand up and waved when she spotted them. They walked over with Haley hiding behind Nathan as best she could. When they were close enough, Haley gave them each a hug as Nathan shook Jared's hand and hugged Linda.

"Hope you brought your bathing suits," Jared said pointing towards the pool.

Haley held up the bag she was carrying. "We did. I also have some presents for the birthday girl."

"How sweet," Linda gushed. "You can put them inside. Matthew's in there, too. He'll probably spend most of the day inside. This is all a little too much for him."

"My sister promised it'll quiet down later," Jared said. "Then you can see Matthew here with his cousins."

Linda guided Nathan and Haley into the house. Haley looked at the large stack of birthday presents sitting on top of the couch. Over half of them had the same pink Disney Princess wrapping paper she'd used. "Wow. Guess we all had the same idea."

Linda laughed. "I used it, too." She took the presents from Haley and added them to the pile. She led them down the hallway to one of the bedrooms. Inside, they found Matthew sitting on the floor playing a basketball game on Xbox. "He's obsessed with video games. We don't have them at home," she said with a knowing wink, "so we let him go crazy when he's here." She leaned in and whispered, "It's one of the ways we get him excited to come."

Nathan sat down next to Matthew. "Hey, Buddy. I have this game, too."

Matthew kept playing and gave Nathan no response.

Nathan looked at Haley.

Haley shrugged. This is how it was sometimes. Sure, Nathan had never experienced Matthew like this, but it did happen. Sometimes there was _nothing_ that could take his attention away from an obsession.

They stayed there for about ten minutes watching Matthew play with little to no response from him. They left when Jared came and found them. He was anxious to introduce them to his sister and brother-in-law and some family friends that were basketball fans. Before leaving, Haley jotted down some notes. It was a little disappointing that Nathan wasn't able to breakthrough to Matthew since it went against her hypothesis, but she had to be honest with her findings. She didn't want to be anything like Dr. Rimkus.

* * *

><p>Once the clown was ready to put on his show for the children, Haley darted back inside using the excuse of checking on Matthew. She was surprised when Nathan followed her. He had been deeply engaged in a conversation about basketball with Jared and his brother-in-law. She figured it was because he felt like he had to prove about his bond with Matthew.<p>

"Uh-oh," Haley said as soon as they stepped inside. There was crumpled up pink wrapping paper spread out all over the floor, along with the contents they once shielded. Sitting off in the corner of the room was Matthew. He was clutching a Barbie doll still in its box under his arm as he was sitting reading a book. Even from there, they could see the scraps of wrapping paper handing off both items.

"He opened her presents?" Nathan asked in shock.

"Apparently so," Haley said wincing. "You go talk to him. I'm going to try and clean up."

Nathan walked over to Matthew. He sat down on the floor beside him so he they were at eye level. "What do you have there?"

Matthew gripped the Barbie tighter and pushed away from Nathan.

"Uh, listen, Buddy, I think this belongs to your cousin Anna. We should probably put this all back for her."

Matthew ignored him. He narrowed his eyes in on the book. His eyes scanned back and forth as he mumbled words aloud.

After throwing away the wrapping paper and neatly piling the presents back up, Haley joined the boys on the floor. She figured at the least, they could scurry to rewrap the presents at some point. She watched as Nathan tried to make a play to grab the doll from under Matthew's arm.

"NO!" Matthew yelled.

Nathan retracted his hand and looked at Haley with frustration. He figured he would try a different approach. "Hey, you don't want _a Barbie doll_, do you? Those are for _girls_. You really should leave that for Anna."

"That's gender stereotyping," Haley huffed out.

"Don't start that with me now," Nathan said giving her a nasty look. "You think Jared wants his son playing with dolls? I wouldn't let my son do that."

"What if he—"

"And didn't you use that same wrapping paper?" Nathan interjected. "Talk about gender stereotyping!"

"But I got her some books and an art set," Haley said defensively.

"Figures," Nathan said rolling his eyes. "Kids want toys, Haley."

"Since when did _you_ become an expert?" Haley shot back. She pointed to Matthew. "He seems to be enjoying that book very well." She looked closer at him. "Is he reading? He can't be…"

Nathan watched him. He focused on Matthew's lips, eyes and struggled to make out the words coming out of his mouth. "I think he is." He moved to his knees to try and get a closer look at the book.

"NO!" Matthew yelled leaning away.

"I give up!" Nathan said in frustration. "Matthew, you're going to get in trouble. You don't want that, do you? I'm just trying to help you out here, Buddy. In fact," he said as a new strategy formed in his mind, "if you give this back to me, I'll take you in the pool. How about that?"

"NO!"

Haley got up. "I'm going to go get Linda."

As Haley left, Nathan racked his brain trying to figure out what to do. He hated how clueless he felt. It usually wasn't like this with Matthew. It was more than him being difficult. It was as if this little boy had no bond with him whatsoever.

Haley went and found Linda. They, along with Anna's mother, Judy, went inside. They found Nathan and Matthew still in the midst of their vicious standoff.

"NO! No 23! Eight, eight, eight, eight!"

"That's right. Anna's turning eight," Nathan said trying his best to make a connection. "And these presents are hers."

"I think I get it," Linda said confidently. She turned to Judy. "Can you go get Anna?"

"Sure." Judy looked nervously at the pile of presents. "You think you could move the opened ones into my bedroom?" She pointed down the hall. "It's the second room on the right."

Nathan and Haley moved all the unopened presents into the room. They were finished right about the time Judy was coming in with Anna, a peppy girl with short, curly, blonde hair wearing a party dress. They watched as Anna flitted over excitedly to Matthew.

Anna sat down next to Matthew. "Hey, Matthew! What are you doing?"

Matthew looked up from his book. He put his book down and took the Barbie doll out from under his arm and thrust it into Anna's hands.

Anna's eyes lit up. "Wow! Malibu Barbie! This is so cool." She handed the box to her mother. "Can you open it, Mom?"

As Judy began to work on taking the doll out of the box, Anna looked at the book on the floor. "What about that? Is that part of my present, too?"

Matthew picked up the book and clutched it to his chest.

Linda laughed. "Anna, he really wanted to read that book. He was so upset with me when I wrapped it."

"And he was clearly excited to give you those presents," Judy chuckled. "Oh, Matthew. We do love you."

"You can read it," Anna said warmly. "I don't mind. I'll read it later."

Matthew withdrew the book from his chest and set it back down on his lap. His body relaxed and he began to read it again.

Anna stood up and took the doll from her mother. "I'm going to go show this to Daddy. Matthew, we'll play tag later, okay?"

Once Anna left, Judy and Linda went to rewrap all the gifts. Haley wanted to help them, but first she wanted Nathan to understand what happened. She didn't get the chance.

"I'm going outside," Nathan mumbled.

Haley joined the ladies knowing that Nathan was disappointed. She couldn't blame him. Everything had always come easy to him with Matthew. The truth was with any child, things were never easy. Children were children and adults were adults. There were bound to be times when children resented the authority figure of adults. It didn't matter how close they were. He also still didn't understand the complexities of autism. Hell, _she didn't_. Yet, she could help him understand what transpired…if she got the chance.

"Anna's really good with Matthew," Haley noted as she started in one of the gifts.

"All of his cousins are like that," Linda explained.

"They've grown up with him," Judy added. "If you stick around, you'll see that. Most of the kids are leaving by dinnertime. Once it's quieter, Matthew will go outside."

"He'll even go in the pool," Linda said.

Haley grew excited. She'd just read some research on that. "I hear swimming is great for children with autism. It's a solitary sport and allows them to use their focus. Does he enjoy it?"

"He does. We started with swim lessons, but that didn't work so well. I've just ended up working with him myself. It's nice. He lets me touch him. We get some nice mother and son time!"

"You think I could see that?"

"Even better, you come in the pool with us—and Nathan."

"I've heard Matthew's taking quite a shining to Nathan," Judy said with a smile.

Haley proudly blushed. "He has. Unfortunately, I think Nathan's feelings are a little hurt right now."

"They shouldn't be," Linda said. "You know Matthew; I'm sure that his feelings are probably hurt."

"That's what I thought," Haley said.

"Well, you'll just have to stay until our boys make up," Linda said winking at Haley.

* * *

><p>Haley came out of house dressed in her bathing suit and holding her beach towel. She looked around for Nathan. She found him on the other side of the yard, over by the grill with Jared and few other guys. Much to her dismay, he had changed out of his swimsuit and back into his clothes.<p>

Even though they had stayed at this party much longer than they expected to, Nathan and Haley hadn't really spent any time together. Instead, Nathan had purposely kept his distance from Haley. At first, Haley assumed it was so that she could continue to observe Matthew's behavioral patterns in this environment. She did watch Matthew, but she also kept her eye on Nathan. After carefully watching _his_ behavioral patterns, Haley came to the conclusion that Nathan was distraught and embarrassed about what happened with Nathan. In turn, he'd overcompensated by surrounding himself with the children from party.

Haley didn't necessarily think this was a bad thing, as long as he worked things out with Matthew at some point. So, she let him have his fun, keeping in mind that he never experienced a party like this. The rest of the day, he got to do just that.

It all started when the buzz went around the party that they had a D-Fenders team member and Lakers' prospect in attendance. Haley was standing with him when a group of young boys garnered the courage to approach him. They had a basketball in hand and asked him to shoot some hoops out in the driveway. Apparently, that went well because Nathan was out there for a while.

After that was finished, Nathan wandered over to watch as children swung at the piñata, trying their best to break it open to get candy. After each child that wanted to took a turn, they began to grow weary. At that point, Nathan's services were called in. He happily stepped in and with a single swing broke that piñata wide open, sending candy flying all around the yard. Haley saw the satisfaction on his face as the children gleefully ran around picking up pieces of candy. Nathan was now officially "the hit" of the party.

It didn't take much to convince him to go in the dunk tank. Children lined up over and over again, all clamoring to take aim and get him wet. After getting wet many times, Nathan headed into the pool. Once he went in there, that became the featured attracted for the children. While in the pool, he took turns propping kids on his shoulders so they could play "chicken." Then, he pretended to done with the pool, only to surprise the children by jumping in cannon-ball style. Yes, Nathan Scott acted like a grown child at this party. Haley knew he had a blast and she loved watching it, even if it was from the sidelines.

Now though, it was time to set things right with Matthew. She set her towel down and waved at him to come over. He shook his head and then looked away. Haley headed towards him.

Nathan reluctantly put his beer down. He knew what Haley wanted and wasn't having it. He was feeling pretty good about now, and not just from his beer buzz. He enjoyed spending the day with kids, but had shifted into the company of men. Sure, they were all a bit older than him, and all fathers, but he didn't mind that. He was getting along just fine with them so he didn't want a scene with Haley in front of them.

"What?" Nathan shot out as they met up midway.

"Why did you change? Don't you want to go with Matthew in the pool?"

"He doesn't want me there."

"Nathan—"

"I asked him, Haley. When I went and changed, I asked him. I tried to get him to come. He didn't want anything to do with me."

"Nathan, let me explain to you why! It's not you—"

"He hit me, Haley! When you went out to get Linda, he actually hit me."

"Oh, Nathan," Haley said pitifully as she reached out for his arm.

Nathan jerked away. "Don't do that. Let it go."

Haley tried not to laugh at him. He really was acting like a child today. Underneath it all, it was because he was hurt. It was also because of his inexperience with children. "Nathan," she said giving him her best puppy dog eyes, "are you mad at me? Because you shouldn't be. I didn't hit you. I didn't yell at you. I didn't push away from you." She took a step closer to him, pushed up against him and put her arms around his back. "In fact, I want to be real close to you."

Nathan felt all the tension in his body instantaneously melting away. "Can I take a raincheck on that? Say at about the time we crawl into bed?"

Haley pushed up on the tip of her toes and kissed him on the lips. "Does that answer your question?" She withdrew her hands from around him and walked away. After a few steps, she looked over her shoulder at him. "In the meantime, you know where to find me!"

Nathan watched her walk over to the pool, fully appreciating the view of her from behind in that bathing suit. Sure, it was one piece, but that was Haley. Simple and classy suited her so well. To him, she was sexier than any girl in a string bikini that left little to the imagination.

Nathan rejoined the guys who were passing around some hot dogs and hamburgers. He fixed himself a plate and sat down, but kept his eye on Haley in the pool. With his own plate, Jared took a seat next to him. His eyes followed Nathan to the pool. They watched as Matthew swam from Linda to Haley. Once he was with her, Haley held his hands and walked him around the pool as he kicked his feet wildly splashing everywhere. Once he tired of that, he let go of Haley and swam over to his mother. Linda picked him up, hoisted him on her hip, and began twirling them around. Matthew joyfully laughed.

Jared leaned in towards Nathan. "You know, Nate, there's nothing like watching the woman you love being with your child like that."

"I bet," Nathan said. Even he liked watching them together. He could only imagine the intensity of Jared's feelings.

"Haley will be a great mom someday. She's a natural."

"Yeah," Nathan said quietly. He didn't feel comfortable correcting Jared; that was Haley's place, not his. It was true, anyway. _Haley would be a great mom. She was a natural_.

So, what if she did want to be a mom? What if she changed her mind someday?

An image flashed before his eyes; Haley sitting in a rocking chair cradling a newborn baby girl. The baby was swaddled in a pink blanket and peeking out at her mother with her bright blue eyes. She had just a wisp of light brown hair running across her head. Haley wore a look of pure contentment as she gazed into her daughter's eyes. His heart warmed and a lump formed in his throat. His heart began to flutter as the realization set in that this very image conflicted with the life path he'd carved out for himself.

Despite that, he was left with one certainty. If Haley ever decided she wanted children, she should be with someone who wanted them as well. He just wasn't sure he was _that person_, but he _might_ be. This was the first time he'd spent an extended amount of time with children and it had been fun. Then again, it had been different with Matthew. He was quickly learning there was a difference between running around having fun with children and having to be the one to deal with them when they got difficult. He didn't like being in the position of having to possibly discipline Matthew. So, maybe Haley was on to something. It was possible to love being around children, without being a parent.

In the end, Nathan figured it was foolish to be thinking about such things. He had been caught up in the act of pretending. They were "just friends"….for now.

* * *

><p>Haley and Nathan were patiently waiting to leave as they watched Matthew and all of his cousins run around the backyard playing freeze tag. It was getting late and although Nathan and Haley were the only people around that weren't family, they knew they hadn't outstayed their welcome. They just sensed that. The only reason they were ready to leave was because they were anxious to be alone. Haley had been getting that vibe ever since she stepped out of the pool. Since then, he hadn't been able keep his hands off of her and he'd been giving her <em>those eyes<em>; the ones that sent a shiver through her body as she imagined what was running through her mind. So now they were only waiting for a chance to grab Matthew so they could say goodbye.

Since Matthew wasn't exactly abiding by the rules of tag, this was hard to do. He didn't play on a team and didn't respond appropriately to being tagged. Instead, he simply ran around tagging his cousins. Knowing him well, his cousins seemed fine with this and played along. They let Matthew tag them and froze in place. Then, when Matthew tagged his frozen cousins, they unfroze. On the other hand, no one bothered tagging Matthew, probably because he wouldn't respond anyway.

Finally, the game stopped when Anna's father lit the firepit. The children headed over, knowing that smores were on the way. Nathan and Haley took this opportunity to start making their exit. They waited over by the back gate as Jared went and fetched Matthew.

Haley knew Nathan was nervous about saying goodbye. She could feel it in his body as she held his hand. As she watched Matthew being dragged over by his father, Haley could sense this wasn't going to end well.

"NO! NO!" Matthew was yelling.

Once they got closer, Linda stepped closer and moved to the other side of Matthew. Surrounded by his parents, he resentfully looked down at his feet.

"Matthew, say goodbye to Nathan and Haley. They were very nice to come by to see you today."

Matthew looked up briefly at Haley and then scowled at Nathan.

"Hey," Jared said sharply. "If you don't be nice to Nathan, he may not come over our house to see you again."

Matthew moved his father's leg and clasped his arms around it.

Not wanting to create more problems, Nathan bent down to him. "Hey, Buddy. You still want to come to one of my games sometime?"

Matthew didn't respond.

Knowing Matthew's love for basketball, Nathan started to grow desperate to salvage his connection with this little boy. "I saw how you liked to swim. You like the water? How about boats? My brother has one. Maybe sometime I can take you, your mom and dad out on his boat?"

Matthew didn't even appear to be listening.

Nathan slowly stood up. "I got nothing."

"It's okay," Haley said rubbing the center of his back.

"Don't take it personally," Linda said. "I promise you that it means a lot to him that you came today."

* * *

><p>Haley came out from the shower to find Nathan had fully returned to his earlier mood. She crawled up beside him in bed. With his hands propped under his head, Nathan kept his gaze on the ceiling. Haley sat up and looked him over. "Okay, show me." She reached for one of his arms and pulled it out from under his head.<p>

"What?"

"Where did Matthew hit you?"

Nathan rolled his eyes. "Haley—"

"Show me!" Haley sternly demanded.

Nathan started to soften. He rubbed his forearm. "Right there."

Haley ran her soothingly ran her hand over the spot. "Poor baby." She moved her lips to that spot planted a series of kissed there. "There. All better."

"Ha, ha," Nathan said fighting off a smile.

Haley pulled down the sheets and moved her hand over his heart. "Did he hurt you there, too?"

Nathan let a heavy sigh. "Stop making fun of me."

"I'm not," Haley said sitting up. "Okay, maybe a little. But really, I just wanted to explain to what happened."

"Let's hear it," Nathan said dryly.

"Let's picture this from Matthew's perspective. There he is- very excited to give his cousin her birthday present. He's _so excited_ that he opens up present after present just to find it. Then he gets it and settles in waiting to give it to her. Then, in comes 'big bad Nathan.' He used to be your friend, but now he's trying to take your present from you. You keep trying to tell him, as best you could, that you wanted to give the present to her yourself, but he doesn't understand. He actually thinks you want to keep the present for yourself! So, you get mad at him and he gets mad at you."

"When you say it like that," Nathan said dismissively, "I sound like a big jerk."

"It's not your fault. This is why we're working with Matthew. He doesn't know how to communicate like other people and he doesn't understand social conventions very easily. He has to be taught every little thing and he obviously has a ways to go with opening presents. Did you see him with the cake? He didn't care that it was Anna's birthday. All he wanted was a piece of that cake. Jared had to hold him back just so they could sing 'Happy Birthday'."

"I saw that," Nathan chuckled. "Still, how do you discipline children like that? I was at a total loss."

"Well, there's not like there's some set of standard guidelines to follow. That's true with any kids. And even worse, all cases of autism are different. There are so many theories out there. It's mostly trial and error. This is part of the reason our Stanford study is doing case studies. In most cases though, using rewards and punishments seem to work."

"I tried that—"

"Nathan, it doesn't _always_ work. I know it's frustrating, but it's like that with everything, isn't it? You can predict human behavior all of the time. You come close, but there are always hidden variables that lead to different outcomes."

Nathan reached up and pulled Haley down to him. "And you sound like an expert on children. How did you get to be so amazing?"

"Years of babysitting my nieces and nephews combined with years of studying in the classroom," Haley said jokingly.

"I wish I could be more like you," Nathan said honestly.

"Oh," Haley said running her hand up and down his cheek. "You're still hurt. I promise that the next time you see Matthew, he'll be over this. In fact, he's probably worried that you're upset with him."

"The kid wouldn't give me the time of day!" Nathan said getting worked up again.

"Nathan, I want to tell you something. Try to really hear what I'm saying because I've been thinking about this for a long time."

"Okay," Nathan said nervously.

"I think," Haley said slowly, "if you wanted to,….someday,….you'd be a really great father."

Nathan's heart skipped a beat. "You do?"

"I do. I want you to see the value in yourself—in what you have to offer. And please don't let what happened today dissuade you. The truth is, there's no _one way_ to deal with children and sometimes, everyone, including adults, get moody and do things they can't explain. I bet I'll never find out why Matthew bit me—and that's fine. I've moved on and so has he. So just know that today I saw so many things in you that made me think how lucky any child would be to have you as a parent."

Nathan wasn't fully receptive to hearing what she had to say because she was using the same time she used during their sessions. "Are you talking to me now as my therapist?"

"I'm talking to you as your _friend_."

Going back to his personal observation about Haley from earlier that evening, he had to ask the question lingering at the back of his mind. "But you don't want to have children?"

"As of right now, _no_ and I don't see that changing."

"Me, too."

"Okay," Haley said warmly. "I respect that, but please don't close yourself off to that possibility because of your insecurities. I am objective person. I'm not your girlfriend. I'm not trying to change your mind about the direction of your life. I know what's like to have people think you're crazy because you don't want what the rest of the world seems to think is normal. I'm not one of those people. I'm just someone that sees a man who would be a great father _if he ever wanted to be one_."

"Well, I think you'd be a great mother."

"It's different for me, Nathan. I could be a mother and yes, I know I'd throw myself into that. I just don't want to."

"But why? You don't think you have a career and be a mom? Because you don't strike me as someone who couldn't handle those things. And honestly, Hales, if you ever change your mind, you shouldn't let anyone hold you back—"

"And you shouldn't let anyone hold you back," Haley countered. "This is not what I wanted to talk about. We're not a couple, so it's pointless to talk about it like this."

"We _feolt_ like a couple today," Nathan pointed out.

"We _acted_ like a couple today," Haley said resignedly.

"I wish we weren't pretending. I wish it was real."

Haley kissed the side of his cheek. "Me, too, but it can't be."

"Yeah." Tryouts were just a week away. Then, even if he made the team, he'd have to earn his playing time. He didn't any additional stress to go along with that.

Haley was grateful for the distraction as her phone started ringing. She reached over and grabbed it off the nightstand. She grew concerned when she saw it was Linda.

"Hello?"

"Haley. Linda. Hope it's not too late."

"No. Is everything okay?"

"Except for the fact that I have a very sullen little boy with me."

Haley looked over at Nathan. He was back to staring at the ceiling with his hands behind his head. "I have one too, but he's a little bigger."

Linda laughed. "So, Nathan's with you?"

"Unfortunately, yes," she joked.

"Good, because I think Jared and I figured out what's wrong."

"What happened?"

"After you left, Matthew starting throwing one of his fits. We ended up coming home and he ran right to his room. He started taking down his basketball posters. Then I remembered that Jared said something about Nathan not coming over and-Well, I think Matthew's upset about it."

Haley gestured for Nathan. He sat up and started paying attention to her. "You want Nathan to talk to him?"

"I was hoping we could try it."

"Let me get him," Haley said.

"Okay, give me a minute, too."

Haley handed the phone to Nathan. "Linda's getting Matthew. He's upset. He thinks you're not coming over again."

Nathan let out half of a smile. He put the phone to his ear. "Hey, Buddy. You there?"

"HE'S THERE!" Linda called out from a distance.

"Listen," Nathan said, "I was hoping that maybe I could come by sometime soon to see you. I noticed how you're learning how to read. Maybe we could read a book?"

Nathan only heard a slight movement from the other end of the phone. He could picture Matthew standing there with phone pressed to his ear not saying a word, but taking everything in.

"Leave it to you to call me and not talk to me," Nathan joked sharing a smile with Haley. "Okay, how about this? You pick out a few good books and as long as you're good for your mom and dad, I'll come by and visit soon and you can read them to me."

"Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday…"

Nathan quickly caught on. "Tuesday." He looked at Haley and she nodded. "I'll come by with Haley on Tuesday, okay, Buddy?"

Nathan waited but was met with silence. He was starting to wonder if Matthew hung up on him when Linda spoke.

"Nathan? You there?"

"Yeah. Is he okay?"

"He threw the phone down and is tearing into a pile of books. Does that sound right?"

"Yeah," Nathan grinned.

"Thank you, Nathan. I appreciate this. I know you went out of your way today and don't need us bothering you this late."

"I didn't mind. You want to talk to Hales?"

"Sure. Have a good night."

"Good night." Nathan handed the phone to Haley and left to use the restroom.

"Well, I have a much happier boy on my hands now," Haley said.

"Me too. Us and our boys….They're lucky we love them so much!"

Haley's heart raced as she watched Nathan emerge from the bathroom with bounce in his step and a smile across his face. "Yes. They are pretty lucky, but so are we."

"I know. Well, thanks again. Enjoy the rest of your weekend."

"You, too. See you Tuesday."

Haley put her phone back on the nightstand.

"So I was thinking that maybe I should bring a book by on Tuesday," Nathan said excitedly. "Clearly, the kid likes books. I still can't believe he can read. That's really good, right?"

Haley turned on her stomach and propped herself up on her elbows. "It is. I'm not sure if what he's doing is reading. I need to really watch him. It'll be good if you come on Tuesday. You can help me figure it out."

Nathan's smile grew wider. This was even better if he was helping Haley at the same time. "I don't know what kind of books to get. How about we go out tomorrow and pick some out?"

"You don't need to buy him books, Nathan. He just wants you there." Haley began to twist her feet around as her mind went back to the idea of Matthew reading and her research. "But you know, they do have these books that have pictures with words under them? Then, you press a button and hear the sound; that might be good."

"Okay," Nathan said nodding. "Whatever you think."

Haley sat up. "A lot of kids with autism think in pictures, not words. So that's why I was wondering if Matthew was just looking at the pictures or reading the words."

"I don't know. We can see on Tuesday, I guess. So, books with pictures and words?" Nathan asked curiously.

Haley began to describe to him some of the theories about the significances of visuals and the ideas of thinking in pictures to Nathan. He listened intently, asking a few questions. Eventually the conversation died out and they settled down to go to sleep. Once her head comfortably rested his chest, Haley fell asleep within in minutes. Nathan was left to process the day.

It had been a strange day. He had woken up with the woman he was deeply in love with by his side, but couldn't tell her how he felt. He had attended the birthday party of a typical American family, complete with cake, presents, games and food. At this party, he'd been welcomed with open arms and by the end, he felt like a member of that family. He had his first experience with trying to discipline and rationalize with a child and having that child get angry with him. In the end, he connected on an even deeper level with that child. Then, the night ended with same way it began. The woman he loved asleep was asleep in his arms and he could not voice the magnitude of his feelings for her. Oddly enough, none of this had to do with sex. It was about having someone to share these simple and complex life experiences with.

It was a strange day that he'd never imagined would be possible. He went to sleep hoping to have many more like them.

* * *

><p>Preview of next chapter: "Secret Crowds" (Angel &amp; Airwaves)<p>

AN: Sorry it took so long to post this. I suspected this would happen with my first week back at work. Next week doesn't look too promising either. I missed two days of work due to jury duty this week and I have a major event next week, so I expect to be working days and nights a few days. Please bear with me. I will update as soon as I can, but at least you don't have a cliffhanger!

I know this chapter wasn't all roses and butterflies, but if you are familiar with my writing style, I love writing realities of life as well as character weaknesses, along with their strengths. With Matthew, or any child, parenting/babysitting is difficult. There are times when adults feel like they want to pull their hair out in frustration because they don't have the answers. Life is so complex, so expect more of those themes in this and my other stories. As always, feel free to get in touch if you'd like to discuss!

The next chapter gets into Nathan's tryouts….and ends w/a cliffhanger!


	27. Chapter 27

**Disclaimer #1**: Characters, minor plot points and dialogue belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and _One Tree Hill_ writers.

**Disclaimer #2**: Although my career is in the field of psychology, I have taken a lot of liberties with my story. My background is nothing like Haley's in this story. Her story only has _a little_ basis in reality. I know many people in that field who have given me inspiration for details here and there, but this situation is entirely fictional. Please don't take what you read as fact, especially when it comes to the research discussed and ethics of practicing psychology. As with all my stories, you have to use the suspension of disbelief, just as you do with our favorite tv show. The examples in this story are merely for plot purposes. If you do have questions or concerns about the psychological elements of the story, please feel free to pm me. I'd love to discuss!

Chapter 27: "Secret Crowds" (Angel & Airwaves)

Haley woke up with Nathan's back shoulder pushing into the front of her body. "Nathan!" She said as she tried to push him back.

"I don't have any room! Or any blankets!" Nathan said with heavy irritation.

Haley popped her head up. She saw that he was right. She sat up and pushed over, puzzled. Compared to when they fell asleep, they were in complete opposite positions. She tugged on his shoulder so he was flat on his back.

Nathan sat up and looked at the clock. It was about time to get up anyway, so there was no point in going back to sleep. "This has got to stop."

"You're on my side of the bed—and in front of me! You can't possibly blame me!"

"I don't know how that happened," Nathan said yawning. "Tonight I'm setting up my laptop to tape us."

"You can do that?" Haley asked surprised.

"Yup. I have a webcam."

"I don't know," Haley said hesitantly.

Nathan put his arm around her shoulders and tugged her towards him. "It's just to tape us sleeping. Otherwise, how are you going to clear your name?"

"Fine," Haley said accepting that challenge. "And when you see that _you're_ the one moving all around, _you_ have to stop getting mad at _me_."

"I'm not mad. I still sleep better with you next to me. I just need a smaller bed. So when you see it's really _you _causing all of the problems, _you_ are in charge of picking a new bed for _us_."

Haley's head jerked towards him. "For us?"

"For me," Nathan said kissing the side of her head. "To share with you."

Haley tried not to smile, but she couldn't help it. "Well, if you're going to make me pick out the bed, then I should get something when we see it's you that's the problem."

"Like what? I'll get you anything you want."

"I don't want you to _get_ me something," Haley said as she twisted around. She ran her fingers up to his shoulders. "I want you to _do _something for me."

"Please tell me you want me to be your sex slave," Nathan said raising his eyebrows.

Haley rubbed her body against his. "I don't need to make a bet for that to happen."

"No, you don't. So what do you want?"

"I want….you….to….do my laundry for one month!" Haley said giddily. "And _you_, not Alana. And _you_ have to bring my work clothes to the dry cleaner!"

Nathan ran his hand through Haley's hair. "Oh, baby, you know tryouts start in a few days and I can't see you when that's going on, right? And that's for two weeks…"

Haley buried her face his chest and then turned it to the side and laid it flat on his chest. "I know."

"It's not that I don't want to talk to you," Nathan explained knowing she was upset, "but it's like an unofficial rule. The guys just focus on the tryouts and shut everyone out, even their families—"

Haley lifted her head and rested her chin on his chest. "You don't have to explain. I get it. You've been working for this for so long. You need to give it your all."

Nathan continued patting her head. "I can't call you, either."

"I would hang up on you if you did," Haley teased. "Seriously, Nathan, focus on these tryouts. Have you decided if you're going to stay here or at the hotel with all the other guys?"

"I'm going to stay here. Those guys are from out of state. It's stupid for me to stay there when I'm so close by. It's like having home court advantage."

"Well, I'm not going to come over, just so you know. What I am going to do is send you a text message _every day_—_just one_," Haley said pointing her finger at him. "And don't send me one back."

"What if I do?" Nathan tested her.

"Don't do that," Haley sternly warned him. "I don't want to be watching for one back. I just want you to know every day that you have someone thinking of you that believes in you; that's all. Let me do that."

Nathan kissed top of her head. "My girl takes good care of me."

"Nathan," Haley said sharply.

Nathan smiled. "Sorry. My girl….friend takes good care of me."

"Nathan, you need to stop doing that. We have boundaries."

"I'm just teasing you."

Haley put her hands on his shoulders and pulled herself up to his face. She looked deep into his eyes. "I'm going to miss you."

Nathan kissed her lips. "I'll miss you, too."

* * *

><p>Nathan carefully positioned his laptop on the night stand. He hopped on the bed and looked into the webcam. It was perfectly aimed to capture their sleeping habits. "Perfect!"<p>

Haley stood in the bathroom doorway. "Great."

Nathan waved her over. "Oh, relax and get over here."

Haley sauntered over to the bed. She got in under the covers. "This feels ridiculous."

"Pretend it's not there."

Haley ignored him and looked at the laptop screen. "I never knew you could do that. I really need to get a new laptop. Too bad you chucked your new one over the railing! You could have given me your old one," she joked.

Nathan guiltily looked away. "I shouldn't have done that."

Haley noticed his reaction. "You were angry. I understand. It was just a physical object. It didn't mean anything."

"Yes, it did," Nathan muttered.

Haley looked back at his laptop; it looked brand new to her. Things began to click. "Nathan, why did you buy a new laptop?"

"Just forget about it, Hales."

This confirmed it. He had bought the laptop with the intention of giving her his old one. He was so kindhearted and considerate. She snuggled up beside him and kissed his cheek. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"Being you." Haley began to use to her foot to play with his. "You know, I was thinking….We should probably have sex."

Nathan's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "You want to make a sex tape?"

"No!" Haley sat up, shifted over to the side of the bed and flipped the laptop closed. "Before we go to sleep. I don't want any hidden variables."

"Right," Nathan grinned. "Hidden variables."

"It's a real thing," Haley insisted as she moved towards him. "Most nights we sleep here, we have sex, so we should do that tonight. I don't want anything throwing off the results."

Nathan took her in his arms and began pushing up her nightgown. "Yup. Don't want to throw off those results."

"I'm serious! We need to be as scientific about this as possible."

"I love it when you talk science to me, Doc," Nathan snickered.

Haley sat up and lifted the nightgown over her head. "You like it when I talk dirty."

Nathan took her nightgown and threw it on the floor. "That too."

* * *

><p>Nathan sat down next to Haley on the bed. He placed the laptop on his lap. "Ready?"<p>

"Are you ready?" Haley challenged him. They had woken up in similar positions to when they had fallen asleep, so she was confident that Nathan had exaggerated their sleeping issues.

Nathan knew otherwise. He had vague memories of shuffling around. He couldn't wait to see what showed up. "Want to up the ante?"

"What did you have in mind?"

"You have to set up my guest room."

Haley cringed. The room he was talking about was full of crap. "I don't know what to do with that stuff! And you don't really want me going through your stuff, do you?"

"You're scared."

"I am not! Fine. And when you see that your bed and I are not a problem, you have to get me a Laker's shirt with Scott on the back!"

Nathan had to give her credit. Over the past few days, she had used every opportunity she could to boost his confidence. "I'll do better. I'll get you that Laker's Girl's uniform you promised to wear for me."

Haley rolled her eyes. "I never promised that." She pointed to the screen. "Go ahead."

Nathan clicked on the recording. He began to fast forward through it. He slowed it down when he saw some movement. On the screen, Haley moved away from his arms and toward her side of the bed.

"See!" She exclaimed. "I moved away from you!"

"And took the covers with you." Nathan rewound the video and paused it. He pointed at the screen. "See there. You hooked your leg around mine. It's like you have to touch me at all times."

Haley leaned in closer. She could only see the slightest of movements where Nathan was playing things back. "How did you know that?"

"I felt it." The words were so soon out of Nathan's mouth when he saw himself slide over towards Haley, pressing himself up against her back.

"Ha!" Haley gloated. "That was all you!"

Nathan ignored her and fast forwarded. He slowed it down when he saw himself trying to retreat back to his side of the bed. They both watched in awe as Haley forcefully pulled him back to her.

"Whoa." Nathan pretended to check his arm. "I'm surprised you didn't leave a bruise."

"Shut up," Haley said embarrassed. She had no real defense to offer up.

"I didn't know you were that strong."

Haley reached down and fast forwarded the video. A few hours later in taped time, the two of them moved around once more so they were facing each other. Then in a flash, Nathan was on top of Haley.

"Wait, wait!" Nathan said pushing Haley's hand away. "Slow that down."

"Oh my God," Haley said covering her mouth. "Are we having sex?"

They both leaned in closer and heard the soft moans of lovemaking.

"Oh, God," Haley said turning away.

Nathan laughed. "Well, it didn't last long. Maybe that's why I don't remember it."

Haley got of bed and walked towards the porch doors. "I can't watch. I give in. I'll pick out the damn bed."

Nathan watched a little more and then shut the laptop and went and stood behind her. He put his hands on her shoulders. "It's kind of funny."

Haley turned around. "No, it's not. I pay very close attention to when we have sex, Nathan."

"I know," he sighed. There were a few times she stayed away from him and another time she made him wear a condom. He didn't mind at all. In fact, it gave him a lot of security that she thinking about these things.

Haley crossed her arms. "I want to do this again-tonight."

"You do?"

"Yes. I need to see just how often this happens." Haley felt around her body. "I mean, my underwear is on!" She pointed to his boxers. "And so is yours."

"Yeah," Nathan said slowly. "The video showed the covers falling down. I got a clear view. I pulled my boxers up. You took care of yourself."

"But were our eyes closed?"

"Hard to tell; I think so. Then, we both conked out, but then I was on the other side of you."

Haley put her hand to her forehead. That was how they had woken up last morning. Plus, they must have moved around some more since they didn't wake up like that today! But it wasn't those nights she was worried about; it was the _other nights_, the ones it was best to steer clear of sex. "This is not good."

"We'll get a smaller bed," Nathan promised.

"No, no. I'll get it," Haley said miserably. "I'll pick it out when you're gone."

* * *

><p>Nathan was woken up by a warm body on top of him, soft lips crashing against his and a pair of gentle hands sliding into his boxers. He pushed up, bringing Haley with him. "Hales, Hales. Wake up."<p>

"I'm awake," Haley mumbled as she tried to continue to kiss him.

Nathan pulled back and looked over at the webcam set up on the night table. "But—"

"I don't care," Haley said as she pulled off her nightgown. "This is our last night together and I want you _right now_."

From that point on, all that was running through Nathan's mind was the excitement that they were making a _sex tape_. He was making a _sex tape_ with Haley….Haley James. Haley James was making a _sex tape_ with him. She knew she they were making a _sex tape_. Hell, with the way she was groping him, she wanted to make a _sex tape_.

Nathan shifted to his knees and wiggled off his boxers. Haley kept her hands around his shoulders and only gave him the room he needed to get them off. After casting them aside, she tried to push him flat on his back, but he resisted, keeping them both upright. "Oh, no. If we're going to do this, we're going to do this right. This is going to be so fucking hot, baby."

Haley smiled. She positioned herself on top of him and looked over his chiseled body. "Have I told you how sexy you are?"

Nathan ran his hands up and down her bare back trying to calm himself. So not only were they going to make a sex tape, but she was going to talk dirty to him? "This is the sexiest thing—"

His words were cut off as Haley pulled her head towards hers and began to devour him with her mouth.

* * *

><p>Nathan could feel himself getting hard as he watched the images of him and Haley having sex on his laptop. He looked at Haley. She was chewing on her nail, intently watching with serious consternation. "You're not turned on by this?"<p>

"A little," Haley said keeping her eyes glued to the screen. "I'm trying to figure out how you do that to me."

"It's really not that hard with you—"

"That's now what I meant. I meant how you make me lose control."

Nathan looked again at the video. "See that," he said pointing to her raking her nails up and down his back. "That drives me crazy," he said twitching. "I've got to stop watching this." He got up off the bed.

Haley stayed on the bed studying the video.

Nathan stood back and watched her. Leave it to Haley to watch a sex tape like it was her homework. "You, ah, want a notebook, so you can jot some things down?"

"No, I'm okay," Haley said seriously.

Nathan shook his head. "Alright, well I'm going to go start to get ready for the day, so you come and get me when you're ready to have sex again."

"Okay," Haley said as she paused and rewound a part.

Nathan was in the midst of shaving when Haley final wandered into the bathroom. "Yes?"

"I deleted the video."

"Too bad. I was going to post it on the internet the second you left," he joked.

"Well, it's a good thing it's gone!"

Nathan shrugged. "I can recover it. All you have to do is a system restore."

Haley stood there stone-faced. "W-what?"

Nathan laughed. "Gotcha!"

He had her, alright. Haley moved behind him, put her arms around him, pressed up against him and contentedly rested her head against his shoulder blade.

"I'm trying to shave here, Hales."

"I know. I just want to be close to you."

Nathan was starting to see how difficult the next two weeks would be. It wasn't like he had a choice. This is what had to happen. Besides, if things turned out the way he wanted, it was going to lead to even more separation. There would be a month of pre-season training and games. Then, he'd be on the road half of the time. This would be a good testing ground for that.

There was one persistent thought nagging at the back of his mind as he tried to mentally prepare himself for what was on the horizon. Tryouts wouldn't be a problem. He had been telling Haley the truth; no one would have girls around. During training, he wasn't sure about that. Then, during the season, well, how was he going to explain Haley? As his friend? That was his intention, but that would lead to more problems. He knew what some of those guys on the team were like. There were some single guys that loved to party and were popular with the ladies. They'd try and rope him right in. That didn't sit right with him. On the other hand, his friend from High Flyers, Tony Battle, was on the team. They attended the prestigious summer clinic he attended the summer before his senior year. He knew Tony was single, but he was also a respectable guy that came from a tight-knit family. He'd just have to stick with him.

Nathan reminded himself it was dangerous to think about these things_; first he needed to make the team_. His thoughts channeled through his body, just as he was finishing up shaving. On his last downward stroke, the razor nicked his skin. "Fuck."

Haley pulled away from his back. She saw the spot of blood on his face. She grabbed a tissue and began dabbing at it. In the end, she left a small piece of the tissue stuck on his face. "There."

Nathan looked in the mirror. He looked like a fool. He put his finger to the affected spot.

"Don't touch it!" Haley commanded him. She took him by the hand and began to lead him back into the bedroom. "Okay, I'm ready now. Let's have sex one more time. Then, I'll let you be so you can rest up."

"You want to have sex with me with this tissue on my face?" Nathan asked.

"I don't care," Haley shrugged.

Nathan rolled his eyes and took the tissue of his face. To his relief, the bleeding had stopped.

Haley pushed him back on the bed and took off his boxers. "Just like last night. I want to do that again."

Nathan sat up and watched as she stripped down. Seeing her naked body glistening in the light of day was such a rare pleasure. He made a mental note to do that more often.

Haley climbed on the bed, moved to her knees and starting pushing at his shoulders. "Come on. Like last night. You need to switch your legs around."

Nathan was caught off-guard. No foreplay? She wanted to go right to it? He shifted up, resting his weight on his knees with his hind legs under him. He looked down at his large erection; at least his body was ready and rearing to go.

Haley lowered herself over him. She reached around him and began raking her nails up and down his back. "This is good? Like this?" She asked with wide, serious eyes.

Nathan gently put his hands on her elbows, forcing her to stop. "Haley, you don't need to think with us. That's the beauty of what we have; what makes it so special. So, _don't think_. Let me _feel you_. Just _be with me_. Just _be my other half_."

He was right. He was her other half. He was the voice of reason to calm her fluttering emotions. He gave her the passion her rational mind needed to expand its horizons. He could see the things she couldn't. He said the things she needed to hear. Even his tough, muscular, strong body was the perfect completion to her soft, tender, petite frame. They were like two pieces of the same puzzle.

The words leapt out of Haley's lips as if they were the air she needed to breathe. "I love you."

"I love you, too," Nathan replied with the same severe tone.

Those three words gave their bodies permission to meld together. Nathan flipped them around and laid Haley down on the bed.

Haley lightly fingered his hair. "You fill me in a way no one else can."

"I need to take care of my girl."

"You always do."

"I want to give you the world."

"Right now, you are my world."

Nathan nuzzled her neck, then kissed her cheek and looked into her eyes. "This is going to take me through my tryouts. Seriously, do you have any idea how much this means to me? How much I need it?"

Haley blushed and looked away.

Nathan used his finger to bring her face back towards him. "Don't do that. Stay with me."

Haley started to become emotional. "I'm just going to miss you." Not wanting to make him feel guilty, she shifted gears, putting her hand to his cheek. "And I'm happy for you. You're going to do so great, I just know it. I have faith in you, Nathan. You're so smart and strong. You're healthy and in shape—"

"You've noticed, huh?" Nathan smirked. "My stamina has been pretty good lately."

Haley laughed. "Oh, Nathan."

"This is our last time together for a while. Let's make it last." Nathan sealed his words with a series of intense kisses. He turned his head in various angles and stole her breath away with each one.

Haley let her hands glide up and down his back as she responded to each one of his kisses. When their tongues crossed paths, the tone shifted from tender to passionate. The kisses deepened. Nathan groped her breasts. Haley's hand roamed all over his body. His hardness found her center.

There were no conscious thoughts or movements. Nathan entered her body as if it was acting on its own accord. Haley's legs responded in the same way they hooked over his ass.

Their bodies moved together, at first in a torturous, slow manner. Their hands continued to search each other out. Their lips struggled to remain connected.

Their pace picked up. He moved deeper inside of her.

Their kisses stopped and were replaced with soft cries and moans.

Desperation took over. Their bodies started to thrust into each other. New sounds emerged from their lips; grunts, cries of passion and shouting of names.

It ended very quietly. They held eye contact. They quietly whispered names. They shared a gentle kiss on the lips.

They repeated the three words that explained what they shared; what they had just experienced.

"I love you."

* * *

><p>The following Saturday afternoon, Haley was pleasantly surprised when Nathan called her. She set aside her vacuum cleaner and took a seat on the couch. "So, how's it going?"<p>

"Pretty good. The coaches are taking an interest in me."

Haley sensed some self-doubt in his voice. "That's good, right?"

"Yeah, but….I don't know," Nathan sighed.

"Is it that other guy? Nino?"

"It's weird. They have me working with him. They have me teaching him how to be a better shooting guard."

"That is strange," Haley agreed knowing that was his position. "I bet it's because they know you're a team leader."

Nathan smiled. He never would have thought about that. "Maybe they're testing me as a team leader-and to see if my anger management really worked."

"No, that's not it, Nathan. You're giving them too much credit there. So, how have you been handling that? Have you been helping him?"

"I've done everything they've asked—minus the attitude I would have had a few months ago. I've even been playing point guard."

"I bet it helps that you've been a good teammate."

"I guess." Nathan was already starting to feel better. Talking with Haley usually did that. He should have talked with her earlier.

"You still sound upset. Is this weighing on you?"

Of course she could sense that. "Well, I've ended up at your place every night, haven't I?"

Although they hadn't shared a single word during that time, it was true. At first, Haley thought it was part of a dream. He wasn't there went she went to sleep and was gone when she woke up. When she saw her teddy bear gone from her bed and backwards in the corner, that's when she knew he'd definitely been there. She never thought he'd show up again, but the same thing happened the next night.

On Wednesday night, Haley went to bed, but held off on falling asleep. This time, she heard him come in after midnight. She turned on her side with her back to him, and pretended she was asleep. It felt right this way. Whatever was going on with him, this is what he seemed to need; her. He slipped into her bed, pressed up against her and relaxed his body against hers. She could feel all the tension and stress leaving his body as he buried his head in her hair and his hand moved over her stomach.

Feeling needed in that way was a new feeling for her. Throughout her life, she'd always been a source of support for her friends and family; that wasn't anything new. The difference here was that she didn't have to do anything for him. She didn't have to listen to him, give advice or try to boost his spirits. She didn't have to give up any part of herself when she was with him. _She just had to be there_. All he needed from her was _her_, plain and simple. It was an amazing feeling. It was funny how it made her feel complete. So, she stayed awake most of the night, basking in the warm feelings tap dancing around her heart. Around seven a.m., he left her. The same thing happened the next two nights, even on that very morning.

"I didn't mind. I'm here for whatever you need," Haley said warmly.

"Well, I feel like a jackass for coming and going like that," Nathan admitted.

"I liked having you here, even if it was just for a few hours."

"Well, I wanted to let you know that although I'm done for the weekend, I'm not going to be coming by tonight. All of the guys from tryouts are going out. I'm not going to come stumbling in drunk to your place."

"That's fine," Haley assured him. "I'm seeing Brooke today, anyway. She's coming by to take my measurements for the bridesmaid's dresses she's designing for Peyton. Then, we're going to go out."

Nathan felt a twinge of jealously as he pictured Haley getting dressed up to go out with Brooke. "You and Brooke, huh?"

"Yup. It'll be a good time. So, you go and do your guy bonding thing and don't worry about me."

Yeah, Haley going out for a night on the town without him….all he was going to be doing all night was thinking about her.

* * *

><p>Brooke was flabbergasted as stood in front of Haley's giant hi-def tv. "When did you get this?"<p>

Haley handed Brooke a glass of iced tea. "A few weeks ago."

Brooke shook her head. "And a DVD player? You have one those, too? I wanted to get you one for Christmas and you said no!" She complained. "You said that you never have time to watch movies!"

Haley sat down on the couch and sipped her tea. "It's actually Nathan's. He left it over here."

Brooke gave her a sympathetic nod and sat down beside her. "Oh. Well, he probably has a few of these. I wouldn't bother giving it back."

"Yeah, I'll probably just keep it." Haley looked at the sketch book Brooke had set down on the coffee table. "So can I see what you have?"

"Sure!" Brooke put down her glass and picked up her sketchbook. She spread out the book on top of her and Haley's laps. She flipped it open, showing a sketch of a wedding dress. "Oh, I know you don't want to see that."

Haley put her hand on Brooke's wrist. "Wait. Why not? Why wouldn't I want to see that?"

"Because you don't want to get married," Brooke said with sheepish embarrassment. "Sorry! That was stupid."

"People always think that," Haley told her as she looked at the sketch. "Just because I don't see myself wearing one of those, doesn't mean I can't appreciate them." She fingered the sketch of the short, sassy, strapless gown. "This is so beautiful—and totally Peyton!"

Brooke looked at Haley curiously. "You know, Haley, no one would hold it against you if you ever changed your mind."

"I'm not changing my mind! God! I was just admiring it."

"I never understood why you were so against marriage. When you were a little girl, didn't you dream of a wedding?"

"All girls did. I guess things changed when I was in a senior in high school."

"When you were living with your sister?"

Haley thought back. There was a moment she could pinpoint things changed. "One night I heard Vivian crying in bed. At that point, Joe had been gone for over a year and my sister seemed so strong. She was a great mother, always focused on Michael. We thought she was doing so well. So, I went in there and talked to her. She broke down in my arms. She just did that once, hasn't since, but that night, she let her guard down. She told me she was crying herself to sleep almost every night. She said the hurt was always there. Worst of all, she admitted that a part of her still loved Joe and that made her hate herself. That night, I swore I would never let anyone take control of my emotions like that."

"But it's not always like that. I know half a marriages end in divorce, but half don't. And look at your parents—from what I've heard, they were amazing."

"They were, but now my mom is so lost without my dad. I don't want to be like that. I want to be my own person. I don't want to depend on someone like that."

"Haley, I know what you mean. My parents had a horrible marriage; they showed me how bad it could be. Maybe that's why in high school, I let boys boost my self-esteem. Today, I won't let anyone—my parents or men—define me, but…I also won't shut out love."

"Love and marriage are two different things."

"Yes," Brooke reluctantly agreed, "but what if you meet someone that you just know you want to spend the rest of your life with? Like, you just know that. Wouldn't you want to make that commitment?"

"Is that how you feel about Julian?" Haley asked trying to deflect the question.

"Yes," Brooke said with a beaming smile. "If he asked me to marry him, I would say yes. I just hope he doesn't ask for a while. I like how things are now." Brooke nudged Haley. "You didn't answer my question. What if you met 'the one'?"

"I think," Haley said slowly carefully choosing her words, "that if I met 'the one', he would probably feel the same way as me."

"Nathan," Brooke said with a self-satisfied smirk. "I knew it!"

"We're just friends right now, Brooke," Haley said sharply.

"Relax. I know. He's got tryouts right now?"

Haley nodded. "Through next week."

"Then what?"

"Then, nothing. Look, I know right now Nathan's career is the focus, but in October, I'll be getting my data in and then I won't have a second to spare. I won't even have time to think about him."

Brooke shifted slightly towards Haley. "So, what if someday—years from now, when both of your careers are off and running, he wants to marry you. Would you? Would you marry him?"

Haley looked away for a second as her heart began racing. She hated this line of questioning. "Nathan and I don't think about future that way, especially considering how things are now."

"But what if?" Brooke pressed her.

"I don't think so," Haley said looking down at her hands. She looked up and saw boastful look on Brooke's face. "Why do you have the look on your face?"

Brooke flipped the page of her sketch book to one of her bridesmaid sketches. "Because you didn't say no." She made direct eye contact with Haley. "In the six years I've known you, this is the first time you haven't said _no_ or _never_ in the same sentence with marriage."

Haley furrowed her eyebrows. It was true. Were her views on marriage slowly changing? She didn't want to think about that. She was certain Nathan's views on that hadn't changed. Now when it came to the idea of having children, she'd seen a slight shift in him. The problem was she was just as certain as ever that she hadn't changed her views on that.

* * *

><p>"Haley…Haley…Haley."<p>

Haley struggled to gain focus of the room as she opened her eyes. Being jostled back and forth made it more difficult. "Nathan!"

"I really don't feel good."

Haley sat up, rubbed her eyes and let out a heavy sigh. She turned her head to the side as she smelled the stench of alcohol. "Oh, God, Nathan."

"Oh, God. I'm going to throw up."

Haley turned back to him filled with anger. What was she supposed to do about that? Had he really come to her place in the middle of the night, stumbling drunk, just so she could take care of him as he puked?

"I really, really don't feel good," he said weakly.

Now fully alert, Haley's eyes opened wide as she took in the sight before her. "Oh, God. Nathan? Nathan? Are you okay? Nathan! Nathan!"

* * *

><p>Preview of next chapter: "Airhead (There's the Moment)" (right the stars)<p>

AN: Thanks so much for keeping up with this story. I love that you are still reading! Thanks to those that reviewed as well.

This chapter could be better. I probably should have waited one more day to edit it but I'm not sure when I'll get the chance to post again and I promised to post tonight. Sorry! I'm also pretty tied up for the next few days which means I won't get to write new material. Since I only write one chapter ahead, I won't have anything new to post until I catch up. In the meantime, I hope to post for _Far Away_, so feel free to read that one. Thanks again!


	28. Chapter 28

**Disclaimer #1**: Characters, minor plot points and dialogue belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and _One Tree Hill_ writers.

**Disclaimer #2**: Although my career is in the field of psychology, I have taken a lot of liberties with my story. My background is nothing like Haley's in this story. Her story only has _a little_ basis in reality. I know many people in that field who have given me inspiration for details here and there, but this situation is entirely fictional. Please don't take what you read as fact, especially when it comes to the research discussed and ethics of practicing psychology. As with all my stories, you have to use the suspension of disbelief, just as you do with our favorite tv show. The examples in this story are merely for plot purposes. If you do have questions or concerns about the psychological elements of the story, please feel free to pm me. I'd love to discuss!

Chapter 28: "Airhead (There's the Moment)" (right the stars)

"Awwww," Nathan winced as he doubled over in pain.

Haley sprung up out of bed, jumping over the bear Nathan must have shoved aside. She moved up behind him and put her hand on the back of his neck. It was piping hot. "Nathan! Nathan!"

"I think I'm going to pass out," Nathan said through staggered breaths.

Haley began frantically looking around for her cellphone. "I'm calling an ambulance—"

Nathan shot up, but quickly doubled back over. "No, no, don't. You can't do that. I just need to puke."

Haley squeezed her head under his arm, so she could help him up. "Come on. Let's get you to the bathroom."

Nathan mustered all the strength he had to try and stand up. He was quickly hit with a wave of dizziness and stumbled. He had no choice but to rest some of his weight on Haley to regain his balance. Once he did, he continued to heavily lean on her to make it to the bathroom. Once he saw the toilet bowl, the nausea returned. He made to the bowl just in time.

Haley turned on the lights to the bathroom and hung back in the doorway as Nathan got sick. She nervously chewed on her fingernail as his bouts of vomiting became increasingly violent. She could barely stand to watch, but felt she had to in case he passed out. Once he was done, he sunk down on the floor.

Haley moved over to him. She shut the toilet lid and flushed it. Next, she began rubbing his back. "Nathan, I want you to sit up."

"I can't," he weakly groaned.

"Please," Haley begged. "I need to see you." It was going to be the deciding factor in determining if she was going to call 9-1-1 or not. If he couldn't move or if he passed it, she had no choice but to call for help.

Nathan lifted his head up. He let Haley guide him so his back was against the wall. He knew she was trying to examine him, but he couldn't keep his eyes open.

Haley was hoping that he would look a little better—that some of the color would return to his face, but instead, she saw the same things that alarmed her when she first woke up. He was beyond pale; he was as white as a ghost. His lips were an ashen gray. His eyes were like slits, with only a hint of dark, dark blue peeking out. She felt his forehead and the sides of his cheeks. They were just as hot as before.

Haley pushed up off her knees and went to her closet. She pulled out some towels and facecloths. She kept her eye on him as she wet one of the facecloths with cold water. "How much did you have to drink?"

"I didn't think it wasn't that much."

Haley brought the face cloth down to him. She began dabbing the sides of his face. "You could have alcohol poisoning."

Nathan began shaking his head. "It wasn't that much-Awww-" he said clutching his growling stomach.

"Maybe it's food poisoning." She moved out of the way as he made his way back to the toilet. This time, he got sick slowly as if his body needed time to get up enough energy to even do that. Despite the horrid and pungent stench, Haley stayed behind him and placed the facecloth over the back of his neck.

"That feels good," Nathan said weakly in between getting sick.

Just hearing him talk, stirred up feelings of helplessness within her. "I think you need to go to the hospital."

Nathan lifted his head up at her. "No," he said firmly. "I can't-tryouts."

"Nathan, you're not going to make it to tryouts it—"

"No!" Nathan said as loudly and forcefully as he could. Sensing the queasiness fading, Nathan tried to return to his earlier position against the wall. Haley had to help him.

Once he was settled, Haley flushed the toilet again and got two new facecloths. She wet both of them with cold water and brought them over to him. She saw a few beads of sweat coming down his face. She felt his forehead again. It was cold and clammy. "I think the fever's breaking."

Nathan stared straight ahead unable to acknowledge her in any fashion.

Haley began tugging at his shirt which was drenched with sweat. "Take this off." She pretty much had to take it off herself, pulling each of his arms out of the sockets and pulling it over his head. She pushed his head forward and placed on the cold facecloths against the back of his neck. She pushed his head back and held the cloth in place with one of her hands as she used the other to put the second cloth over his forehead.

"…..Good….." Nathan mumbled.

"It's good that you got sick. You needed to get whatever that was out of your system," Haley told him. "If you feel like you need to get sick again, let it happen."

"Yup, Doc," Nathan said trying to opening his eyes. He really couldn't because of the water running down his face. It was also running down his back. He didn't care. The coldness felt so good. Earlier, his body was on fire, but now he could feel it cooling down.

Haley began to relax. The fact that he'd used the nickname he liked to tease her with was a good sign. She watched him yawn. "Think you want to try and go to bed?"

"I don't want to get it wet….or get sick…."

"I don't care about any of that!" Haley said laughing. "Let's go, my man. Very slowly."

Nathan used Haley's hands to get to his feet. He again rested some of his weight on her as they went across the hall to her bedroom. He let her help him to her bed. Once there, she finished undressing him. She grabbed another t-shirt and pair of sweatpants he'd left at her house and changed him into that. Lastly, she helped him into bed. If he was in his right mindset, he would have felt shame in being so helpless, but in his sickened state, he just didn't care; he felt that horrible.

Haley pushed the covers all the way up to his chin. "Keep yourself covered up. You need to sweat it out."

Nathan closed his eyes and let out contended sigh.

Haley went back into the bathroom and grabbed a fresh facecloth and soaked in cold water. She went back into her bedroom and placed it on top of his forehead.

Feeling the coldness, Nathan startled, but quickly settled back down. This was the weakest, the sickest he felt in his whole life, but he also felt safe and secure having Haley watch over him. It was the reason he went to her.

A minute later, Haley returned with a bottle of Gatorade with a straw sticking out of it. "Nathan, I need you to drink something."

Nathan slightly shook his head.

"Nathan, you're sweating, which means you're losing water. Your body doesn't store water like it does fat. You need to drink."

Nathan ignored her.

"Well, I think you should go to the hospital."

Nathan pushed away the face cloth and opened up his eyes. "I'm not going. I just need to sleep."

"You're right. You need to sleep. I just want you to drink some of this first. Please. Pretty, please?" Haley said as sweetly as she could holding the Gatorade up to him.

Nathan lifted his head up and began sucking from the straw. He took a few long sips and went to rest his head back down.

"Just a little more," Haley said putting the straw back by his lips. She waited until half of the bottle was gone before she took the straw away and let him rest.

Haley sat there for a while, on the edge of the bed, watching him sleep. As she did, she became scared. He should have gone to hospital. Deep down, she knew she should have made him go to the hospital. He was just so damn stubborn! She knew at the heart of it, he was worried about tryouts, and being deemed too sick by a doctor to continue. Haley understood that fear and if similar circumstances, she'd react the same. Hell, she did when she was stuck in that bank around the time she was scheduled to have a visit with Matthew.

So instead of making him to the hospital, Haley decided to stay awake and monitor him. Sure she left him for brief amounts of time to clean the bathroom and get out her bottle of gingerale and saltines, but she pretty much stayed with him in that bed.

At one point, he opened his eyes to find her staring at him. At first, she sheepishly looked away, then she looked right back. Those blue eyes were like a magnet to hers. They made her feel so many things. As she thought about how much those eyes did for her, how much they meant to her, she started to tear up. She needed to tell him; to use those three words….here and now…away from the passion of lovemaking.

Nathan knew what she wanted to say. He could see it as the soft light from the hallway illuminated her eyes showing deep love and concern. It was unmistakable. _No one had ever looked at him that way before._ It was as if he waited his whole like for someone to look at him that way and didn't even know it. He pulled his hand out of the covers and grabbed for hers. He squeezed it hard.

Haley fought off the lump in her throat. "I—"

"I know," Nathan interrupted her. "I know, Hales. It's why I'm here."

Haley nodded. She pulled back the covers, put his hand back inside and pulled them back up over him. Once he closed his eyes, she lay down and rested her head, directly over his heart. Considering his weak state, hearing the strong beating of his heart was like music to her ears.

Nathan felt Haley's head on his chest. It brought him strength and tranquility. It soothed the turmoil going on inside of his body.

During the course of the rest of the night, Nathan got up twice. He got sick once more, but only a little. The second time, he thought he was going to get sick but didn't. Each time, Haley was by his side, helping him in and out of bed.

By the time the morning came, Haley saw some color return to his face but it didn't completely alleviate her concerns. He was still sweating profusely and hadn't used the restroom to urinate. Despite her best efforts, his body still needed more fluids. Haley grabbed another bottle of Gatorade from the fridge. It would be his third, but she only had one more left. She cursed herself for not picking up more the last time she was at the market. She normally stocked up for him, but with him at tryouts, she didn't think she needed to.

When she was heading back to her bedroom, her cellphone began ringing. She scurried to her bedroom and grabbed it from her nightstand. She set down the Gatorade and ordered a stirring Nathan to drink it.

Haley looked at her phone and saw it was Lucas calling. Wanting some privacy to talk with him along with some fresh air, she headed outside of her apartment to answer her phone.

"Lucas!"

"Hales, I'm so sorry to call you like this."

"I'm glad you did. I was up."

Lucas didn't pick up on her tone. He continued speaking frantically. "I need you to go over to Nathan's and check on him. He's not answering the phone and we're all really worried—"

"He's here," Haley said anxiously. "What happened?"

"Is he okay?"

"Well, I don't know—Luke, what happened?"

"Clay called me. He said that everyone from tryouts has been hospitalized. They think it's a serious case of food poisoning."

"I knew it!" Haley exclaimed. "He was so sick and violently throwing up. He almost passed out—"

"Is he okay?"

"He won't go the hospital," Haley gritted out. "He's so damn stubborn! He needs to go."

"He definitely does. I have a feeling this will even make the local news. There's over twenty of them in the hospital."

Haley sighed. "He-he seems a little better this morning." She closed her eyes as she thought about the condition he arrived in. "I was so scared, Luke. I've never seen someone that sick before—and you know him. He's so tough and strong. I had to practically carry him back and forth to the bathroom."

"How did you do that?"

"I don't know. I just did…..What do I do now? How can I get him to go?"

"Tell him he won't be the only one—that everyone is in the same boat as him."

"I feel like that's going to backfire. He's so competitive."

Lucas laughed. "Yeah, you know my little brother pretty well. Just work on him. I need to give Clay a call. I promised him I would go check on him if you didn't pick up."

"Okay. Um….about Clay—"

"Relax, Hales. He doesn't care. He just knows you were closer to Nate than me. I didn't even use your name."

"Okay," Haley said feeling silly. This was the last thing she should be worrying about now. "Call me back."

Haley hung up from Lucas and headed back inside. She was relieved to see Nathan sitting up, just about finished with his drink.

"How about this, Doc?" Nathan asked proudly holding up the empty bottle.

"Did you use the bathroom when I was outside?"

"Nope! I haven't been sick, in over three hours! I think I've turned the corner."

"I'm not worried about you getting sick. I'm worried about your body processing through fluids. They're using them all up which means you need to drink more—"

"Who called?" Nathan asked partly to interrupt her science talk.

"Lucas." Haley picked up his pants and fished out his cellphone from the pocket. "Clay called him. Everyone who went to tryouts had food poisoning. They've all been hospitalized."

"Pansies," Nathan scoffed. He quickly tensed up when he saw the look on Haley's face. She looked like she was ready to kill him. "I mean, I'm just lucky that I had a doctor to take care of me."

Haley stomped her foot. "I'm not a doctor!" She screamed. "You need to go to the hospital—"

"I'm fine.—"

"You're not fine! You're dehydrated!"

Nathan motioned to the bottle. "I'm drinking. I'll drink some more," he said sincerely.

Haley sat down on the edge of the bed. "Why don't you want to go when it's going to help?" She asked pleadingly.

"Don't you see? This is going to give me the edge! Those guys aren't going to be able to continue with tryouts—"

"There's not going to be any tryouts!"

"Nino didn't come out with us," Nathan admitted.

"What?"

"We went to a new Mexican place—it was kind of shady. It had to be from there. Those guys also worse off than me! They were downing margaritas and feel no pain when I left. I left the second I started to not feel good. I bet they keep on drinking and drinking! Talk about being dehydrated! Regardless, I'm sure Nino is fine. I need to stick this out, so he doesn't beat me out."

Upset she hadn't made any progress, Haley thrust his phone into his hand. "Call Clay."

Nathan got up out of bed. Feeling a little dizzy, he took a moment to regain his balance.

"Nathan!" Haley snapped. "Where are you going?"

"I need some fresh air." When she tried to offer up her hand to help him, he brushed it away. This time, he had something to prove. "I can do it."

Haley took a few steps away and crossed her arms. Fine. If this is the way he wanted it, he could go out there on his own. She'd just stand back and watch.

Nathan took his time getting outside. Again, he didn't have a choice. Every little step took an inordinate amount of energy. Once he was outside, the fresh air felt good. He took in a few deep breaths as he propped himself up against the ledge. He cleared his throat, and realized how dry it was. He figured Haley was right. He did need to drink more.

Instead of listening to Clay's voicemails, he called him.

"Jesus Christ, Nate!" Clay answered.

"Nice to talk to you, too."

"You alive?"

"Barely…..No, seriously, I'm fine."

"Fine or not, you better get your ass to the doctor's."

"No, I don't—"

"You have to, Nate. The Laker's won't let you back to tryouts without clearance from a doctor."

"Fuck," Nathan blurted out. He should have known better. If he didn't have such a foggy mind, he would have figured that out on his own.

"Get going. I don't want them thinking you're the type who won't let them know when you're hurting."

"Right," Nathan said dryly. He wasn't that type at all.

After hanging up with Clay, Nathan went inside. "That fresh air felt good. I think I want to get cleaned up. Can you help me?"

Haley brightened. She liked the fact that he was asking her for help. "I'll run you a bath. How does that sound?"

"A sponge bath?" Nathan asked raising an eyebrow.

Haley had to admit, his spirits were coming back. "As long as you agree to one thing?"

"What?"

"To go to the hospital."

"A sponge bath….you have to wipe my whole body down…"

Haley rolled her eyes but was still grateful he hadn't shot her offer down. "Deal?"

"Deal," Nathan sighed.

"Good, because you smell, babe. Make sure you brush your teeth, too."

* * *

><p>Propped up on the hospital bed, Nathan looked beside him at Haley. She was sitting in the chair, playing some game on cellphone. "You're mad at me?" Nathan asked nervously.<p>

Haley didn't bother to look up. "I'm happy you finally agreed to come. I just wish you would have come sooner. I shouldn't have had to give you a sponge bath to make it happen."

"You enjoyed it!"

Haley shook her head disgustedly. "Nathan, there is nothing about the last twenty-four hours that I have enjoyed."

Nathan shrugged that comment off. "I still didn't need to come. The doctor said they probably weren't going to admit me."

Haley shot him a nasty look. "_Probably_. He also said he wanted to wait—"

The doctor walked into the room with a file folder in his hand. He was followed by a nurse dragging an IV drip.

Nathan subconsciously began rubbing his upper arm. "What's this?"

"Ours test showed your electrolytes are low, showing dehydration. We'd like to keep you here for a couple of hours running this intravenous drip to get your electrolytes up. If all goes well, you'll be free to go in couple of hours."

"I knew you were dehydrated!" Haley proclaimed. "You should have come in—"

"I could have stayed home and just drank—" Nathan started to argue.

"Mr. Scott," the doctor interrupted, "dehydration can be life-threatening. You should always take it seriously."

Nathan looked away guiltily. When the nurse came over, he let her insert the needle for the drip. He remained still and calm as the needle pierced his skin. Haley, on the other hand, flinched for him. He snickered. It was as if she was feeling the pain for him. He looked up at the doctor. "So, I need some type of note or form—"

"For the Lakers? Believe me, I know. I'm coming off a twelve hour shift."

"It's very important—"

"I know," the doctor said nodding. "And you're a lucky one. You'll be out of here before any of those other guys."

Nathan smugly smiled. He tried to share in this good news with Haley, but she wouldn't look at him. Uh-oh. He was in trouble again.

He let Haley stew until the room was cleared and they had privacy. Then, he decided it was time to soften her up. "Hey Hales, can you shut the light off? I want to rest a bit."

"Oh," Haley said standing up. "I'll leave. I want to wash those sheets anyway. I'll leave and—"

"I want to rest with you. Go shut the light off and come and lie with me."

Haley stood firmly, crossing her arms and looking down at her feet as she thought this over.

"I know you stayed up all night," Nathan said thankfully. "You're probably more exhausted than I am. Come here, get up on this bed with me, and let me take care of you for a little bit."

Haley slowly walked over and turned off the light. She hated how he could be so charming and irresistible when he wanted to be. With Nathan pushed over as far as he could, Haley climbed up on the bed and curled up next to him, resting her head just under his shoulder.

Nathan patted her hair with one hand and rubbed her arm with his other one. "Thank you, baby. Thank you for taking care of me," he said quietly.

With those words, Haley lost it. She let out a choked sob, then lifted her head up and looked at him. "I'm so angry with you!"

Nathan looked at her with utter confusion. She wasn't just mad. He could see the hurt in her eyes. "Why?"

"You're so selfish! I can't believe you did this to yourself! You should have gone to hospital right away!–"

"You took care of me. I wouldn't let anyone else do that! And you did a better job than any nurse could have. You knew what to do and stayed by my side. You gave me more attention—"

Haley wasn't buying it. "You endangered your life—"

"It was just dehyd—"

"He said _life-threatening_! He used those words, Nathan!" She said desperately. "You can't….You need to take care of yourself. I need you to take care of yourself. I can't lose you." Emotionally spent at her outburst, she gently laid her head back down on him. "I just can't lose you," she whispered.

Nathan closed his eyes taking in the juxtaposing emotions of guilt that he'd upset Haley and gratefulness that she cared so much about him. "I'm sorry," he said remorsefully. "I'll do better next time."

"It's not just you. You have so many people who care about you. You need to think about them."

"Like you?"

Haley snuggled her face against him and squeezed him tightly, desperate to feel as much of him as she could. "I lost my dad. I still have no idea what happened—if he had some chest pains and ignored them—I'll never know. I can't handle another loss like that. Please, please don't leave me. Please take care of yourself."

Nathan winced, as he felt a sharp pang in his heart. Of course, this had opened up old wounds for her. Hearing the words "life-threatening" probably brought it all back. "I'm not going anywhere. I promise."

Haley squeezed him tighter. "I won't let you. I'm not going in to work tomorrow, either."

"Hales, that's not a good idea," Nathan warned her. "This might be in the news and how would that look?"

"You're right," Haley sighed. "I'll just keep you on speakerphone all day."

"Speakerphone? What about Skype?"

Haley wasn't familiar with that program. "Skype? What could I do with that?"

"Nothing on your laptop," Nathan chuckled. That problem would be solved soon enough.

* * *

><p>Preview for next chapter: "Days Like This" (Kim Taylor)<p>

AN: Next chapter you will find out what happens w/Nathan and tryouts. I'm willing to send out a sneak peek that spoils it since the rest of the week I'm focusing on _Far Away_.

Thanks for reading and reviewing! This story keeps getting longer and longer. I hope that's okay.

There are a couple of things to think about in this chapter. A lot of emotions were stirred up here, on both sides. They will play out in the next few chapters and end in a very emotional conversation around chapter 32. Also, not sure if you caught it, but there was something Nathan did here that will upset Haley later on. It really hurts her feelings. Next chapter is fun though, and ends w/a cliffhanger. Most likely, I won't get to post it until next weekend.

Until then, have a great week!


	29. Chapter 29

**Disclaimer #1**: Characters, minor plot points and dialogue belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and _One Tree Hill_ writers.

**Disclaimer #2**: Although my career is in the field of psychology, I have taken a lot of liberties with my story. My background is nothing like Haley's in this story. Her story only has _a little_ basis in reality. I know many people in that field who have given me inspiration for details here and there, but this situation is entirely fictional. Please don't take what you read as fact, especially when it comes to the research discussed and ethics of practicing psychology. As with all my stories, you have to use the suspension of disbelief, just as you do with our favorite tv show. The examples in this story are merely for plot purposes. If you do have questions or concerns about the psychological elements of the story, please feel free to pm me. I'd love to discuss!

Chapter 29: "Days Like This" (Kim Taylor)

Haley stood at the front door of Nathan's house and waited before going inside. It was Friday night, just before sunset, and he was cooking her dinner—that much she knew. The thing she didn't know which was driving her crazy was what happened at the end of tryouts. She had been too afraid to ask over the phone. He didn't offer up any information either. She wasn't sure what to make of this. She was convinced that if he made the team, she would have been able to pick up on it in his voice—she simply didn't. On the other hand, she really didn't believe he wouldn't make the team.

This was coming off of Haley spending the whole week with Nathan. Tryouts were cancelled on Monday, allowing Nathan a much needed day of rest. The rest of the week was full double sessions of tryouts, but only Nathan, Nino and two other guys attended all sessions. Each night, Nathan would come home wiped out. Each night, Haley took care of him as best she could. She made him eat and drink, gave him massages, more sponge baths and most importantly, let him sleep as much as he could.

Besides recovering, his spirits all week had been high. Haley could tell things were going well—and that he was pleased with himself. She was left with such strong faith in his abilities that she refused to believe he wouldn't make that team.

The only other possibility was that he didn't know yet whether he made the team. She figured it was possible. Although Haley had recently tried to become a sports fan, she still had no idea how those things went. Maybe he wouldn't know for a while.

Haley walked inside and found Nathan standing in the foyer waiting for her.

"Hey! I thought I heard you pull up!" Nathan leaned over kiss her cheek.

"How are you feeling?"

"Fine," Nathan said looking her in the eye. This was the routine they'd had all week. By now, he knew what he needed to do go get her to believe him and that eye contact was important. He put his hand on her shoulder and grinned. "I have a surprise for you; two actually."

"For me?"

Nathan looked from the kitchen to the living room, trying to decide where to start. He went with the living room. "Sit down," he directed her as he pointed to a dining room chair.

Haley set down her purse and keys on the table and took a seat.

"Close your eyes," Nathan said moving behind her.

Haley dutifully closed her eyes.

Nathan reached over her and set down her gift in front of her. "Okay. Open them."

Haley opened her eyes to a shiny new silver laptop. Her head shot up to Nathan. "What is this?"

"It's for you. Don't say I never gave you anything."

Haley thumbed the Cracker Jacks bracelet on her wrist. She'd put it on this morning knowing it was a big day for him. She told herself it was not superstition, just a small measure of comfort and security on an important day. That bracelet meant as much to her as the laptop.

"Do you like it?" Nathan leaned over her and opened it up. "Go ahead. Turn it on."

"I can't—"

"Don't do that, Haley," Nathan said sharply. "This is to help you with your work—just like you helped me."

"I don't know what to say."

"_Thank you_ usually works."

"Come here!" Haley said reaching for his face.

Nathan leaned down and kissed her on the lips. "Now turn it on, already!"

Haley pushed the button in the center of the screen. She was shocked at how fast it booted up. "Nathan, why didn't you give me your old one and take this one for you?"

"The new one was always for you. I'm still sorry I ruined the first one." He quickly moved on past that. "So, I set this up for you—including the password."

"I bet you did!" Haley laughed. "What is it?"

"It's got all of the things you need for a strong password—numbers, letters, a symbol—so feel free to use it for everything—"

"What is it?"

"One….two…you know like twelve?"

"I got that," Haley said after typing in the numbers.

"N…S….=….there's your symbol…..lowercase s….e….x—"

"Nathan!" Haley said furiously. "I am not—"

"Y! A 'y' at the end! Or not, I guess you could drop that," he smirked.

"You are something else!" As she typed in the final letter, the desktop appeared. It had a picture of the beach.

"I wanted to pick a picture of me for the background, but I figured that wasn't a good idea since I want you to be able to bring this work."

Haley pushed her chair back and stood up. She gave him a strong hug. "Oh, thank you. This was so thoughtful."

"I'm not done—"

Haley tugged at his arm before he could walk away. "Nathan, wait….What happened with tryouts?"

Nathan turned to her. He put his arms on her lower back and pulled her to him. He ran his hands up and down her back and arms, as lust filled his eyes. He leaned down and shared a series of slow, deep kisses with her. He savored each one of those kisses as he carefully explored her mouth with his tongue. It had been far too long since they kissed like that.

When they broke apart, Haley looked at him with a hint of confusion. "You made the team?"

"I was _invited_ to preseason training," Nathan said quietly, still captivated by her eyes.

Haley was still struggling to understand. "Invited?"

"It's pretty much a lock. If it goes well, I'll sign a contract at the end."

Haley studied him carefully. "What else?"

"They want to test me out as point guard."

Now she was even more confused. "Point guard? What about Devon Fox?"

Nathan was impressed. "How do you know about him?"

"I started listening to sports talk radio."

Nathan smiled wide. "Oh, you did, huh?"

"I did," Haley proudly confirmed.

"Then what are those guys saying about Fox?"

Haley thought back. They'd just been talking about him that morning. "There was a caller this morning that said he was getting old and had an attitude."

Nathan nodded and gave her a knowing look.

"You're going to replace him?"

"Or warm the bench for him….either way, I'm going to be a N.B.A. player!"

Haley searched his eyes. She couldn't find anger or disappointment there. Funny, because that's what she felt. She tried to focus on him again. He didn't look thrilled, but he did look happy. "Is this okay with you?"

"Yeah. I'll get there anywhere I can."

"So…we're happy about this?" Haley asked.

Touched by her use of "we", Nathan scooped her up in his arms and twirled her around. "Does this answer your question?"

"Yes!" She laughed. "Stop!"

Nathan stopped spinning them. Feeling lightheaded, he set her down on her feet.

Haley kept her hands clasped around his neck and placed some kisses on his cheek. "I'm so happy for you! You deserve it! I'm so proud of you!"

Nathan started to feel better. "I love you, Hales."

Haley knew this went against the rules, but she didn't care. Those rules had shifted to back burner when he got sick. "I love you, too."

Nathan kissed her forehead and then headed towards the kitchen with Haley following behind. "So, surprise number two is that I made you macaroni and cheese."

Haley saw two place settings on the island counter. He had bowls, spoons, napkins, wine glasses and a bottle of wine. There was also an unlit candle and a vase of fresh flowers. "This looks romantic," she said hesitantly.

"Haley, if I was trying to romance you, you would know it. It wouldn't be in my kitchen."

Haley gave him a skeptical look. Hungry, she looked around the stove. "Where's my mac n' cheese?"

Nathan picked up an oven mitt and opened up the stove. "Baked mac n' cheese," he said taking the dish out. He held it out for Haley to smell.

"Mmmm," Haley said taking in the aroma. As he set the dish down, she began working on the wine. She poured a glass for both of them. She handed him one and began walking away. "Come on, Scott. Come watch the sunset with me while that cools."

"But wouldn't that be romantic?" Nathan teased.

Haley looked over her shoulder. "Just come."

Nathan followed her. "We could eat outside."

Sounded liked a perfect evening to her. "Sounds good. Sunset first."

As they headed outside, it occurred to Haley they might not have many more opportunities for nights like these. Preseason training began in a few weeks. It lasted a month, followed by the start of the season. So, things were going to change.

Haley brushed those thoughts aside, choosing instead to focus on spending the night in the company of the person she enjoyed being with the most.

She set down her glass on the table and pushed two chairs next to each other. She picked back up her wine glass and sat down. She looked up at the clear blue sky, the bright orange sun, and the ocean. They were beautiful sights for sure, but they were lacking something. She looked at the empty chair next to her and then over her shoulder. Nathan was standing a few feet away. It appeared as though he was looking at her, lost in deep thought. When their eyes met, they shared a smile as Haley waved him over.

Nathan slowly walked over and took his seat next to Haley. It was all finally sinking in. All day he'd known the news; the coaches had talked to him that morning about it. Yet, it was as if he was fighting off accepting it. Talking to Clay hadn't helped. Clay had been convinced that he was going to be angry and upset they didn't have a contract offer for him right away. Nathan was oddly calm about the whole thing. It had spooked Clay out. Nathan wasn't sure what to make of it either. At first, he figured it was just because he was still recovering. He overheard the guys who had been hospitalized talking. They'd been told it could take up to two weeks to recover and that was with complete rest. They'd also been warned it would take longer without that.

Only Haley understood how sick he really was…and maybe Lucas. He knew they'd talked and Lucas was back up his ass again. It was actually Haley who made him back off. She assured Lucas she had it under control and promised to keep in touch. Nathan was eternally grateful to have Haley through this whole ordeal. He honestly meant what he told her earlier; he'd only been able to do this with her by his side.

Nathan continued to look at Haley with all of these strong emotions running through his body. He quietly took her hand, brought it to his lips and kissed it. She blushed and smiled, then took a sip of her wine.

Nathan kept her hand in his and took a sip of his wine. As Haley watched the sunset, he watched her. She made the difference in his life. Even just sharing the news with her brought it to life. Deep down, he knew that he was headed to the N.B.A. He wasn't sure how it was going to work out, he hadn't signed a contract yet and didn't know what position he'd play. However, _he knew was going to make it_. He had that inner confidence. Earlier in his life, he thought he always had confidence out on that court. Now, he understood it was just that mental toughness. This time, he had it all—and he knew the coaches saw that.

He owed it all to this beauty sitting beside him. He wanted so badly to take her in his arms, carry her up to his bed and make love to her. He couldn't do that, yet. He still wasn't himself and Haley was no fool. She knew that and wouldn't let him near her in that way anyway. He wouldn't let it happen either, but more because he didn't want to disappoint her. The next time they were together, he wanted to be able to show her how deep his feelings ran for her. He decided to let that be his motivator over the next few days. He would do nothing but rest over the weekend. Then, on Monday, he'd start back up his physical activity. Hopefully, before long, he'd be ready to be intimate again with Haley in the way she deserved.

Feeling his eyes on her, Haley sheepishly looked back at Nathan. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

Nathan saw a heavy look in her eyes. He figured she could use a little light-heartedness. "Well, that computer you got, has a webcam…."

"Un-uh. We're not doing that again!"

"You really deleted that?" Nathan asked feigning devastation. "I was planning on watching that when I'm on the road."

"It's gone," Haley said triumphantly. She turned to Nathan with excitement. "But we can Skype, right?"

"Right," Nathan said smiling back. He quickly reached for his glass of wine. He really didn't want to think about their time apart yet. This time it was going to be different. He still had to find out more about preseason training—and he would by giving Tony a call—but he knew he was going to have to keep Haley a secret from everyone in the organization during that time. This meant not seeing her at all. Then maybe, just maybe, once he signed the contract, he'd be fine. Maybe they could stop pretending with all this "friends" nonsense.

Nowhere in these thoughts did Nathan consider the impact stopping the pretense would have on Haley's career path. He was so consumed by the intensity of his feelings for Haley and his recent achievements, he unwittingly blocked everything else out.

* * *

><p>Haley came out of the bathroom and found Nathan lying in bed, going through her cellphone. "What are you doing?" She asked slightly miffed.<p>

"I was going to use your phone to call mine. I don't know where it is. Why isn't my number in here?" He asked offended.

Haley scratched the back of her neck as she took a seat on the bed. "Well, uh, I didn't think it would be a good idea if I programed it in….in case you called when I was at work."

"So you unprogrammed me?" Nathan asked offended.

"I never actually programmed you in," she admitted softly.

"What?" Nathan asked sitting up.

"I just always went to recent calls at first when I called you." Haley pointed to her phone. "Oh, but you're in my top five now! Just the number, not your name. Look! You're right under my mom."

Nathan went to that screen and saw his number, minus his name as number two. Well, he could fix that. He kept a disappointed look on his face as he dialed the number. "Listen for it. See if you can figure out where it is."

Haley got up and began walking around the room. "I don't hear it. Is it on vibrate?"

"No, I left the ringtone on. Can you run downstairs and check?"

Haley shot him an annoyed look.

Nathan felt his time being doted on slipping away. He figured he could milk this out just a little more. He lazily yawned. "I'm still kind of tired."

"Right," Haley said unconvinced. "Give me a minute to get down there, then call again."

Nathan waited well over two minutes as he went to work on reprogramming Haley's phone. He finally made the call when she shouted up at him in frustration.

Even from where he was lying on the bed with the bedroom doors open, he could hear the ringtone he picked out for Haley playing. He smiled and laughed to himself as he pictured her reaction.

Haley ran out of the dining room and toward the living room. She slowed down when she heard the chorus from The Temptations "My Girl" coming from the flashing cellphone on the end table. At first, she was annoyed by his song choice, but her heart melted when she saw the flashing picture. It was of her sandals on the beach. She answered the phone just before it cut off to voicemail. "Did you plan this?"

"Well, I wasn't expecting that you didn't even have me in your phone."

"Get over it. I'm sure you don't leave your ringtone on when you're out."

"And you do?"

"Most of the time since I stuff it in my purse. Okay, you want me to bring this up or was this all just a joke?"

"No, bring it up…..and could you get me a Gatorade, too?"

"You're a pain in the ass! I hope you get dehydrated—"

Anxious to finish out his work, Nathan hung up on Haley. He went back to work on her phone and finished just in time to hear her cursing him up and down as she came up the stairs. He set aside her phone and lay back down on the bed.

Haley handed him the Gatorade. "There. Oh, and you just got a text message," she said trying to hand him the phone.

Nathan unscrewed the cap from his Gatorade. "Who's it from?"

Haley glared at him as he began to gulp down his drink. "I don't know. I don't go through _your phone_," she said pointedly.

"Well, have at it. I don't have anything to hide."

Haley rejoined him on the bed and looked at his cellphone. She saw there were two texts from the same number. "I don't know who it's from. It's a new number."

"What do they say?"

Haley read the texts. She went back and reread them, this time looking at the screen long and hard. She looked to Nathan with serious puzzlement. She looked again at the screen, blinking hard as her eyes scanned the words.

Nathan grew uneasy. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all. "What?"

"It's…from your _girlfriend_. She congratulated you on tryouts. She said she'll be back in town just in time for the season, _boy toy_." Disgusted with the words she had just read Haley threw the phone at him and jumped off the bed. She headed out to the porch.

Nathan was two steps behind her. "Hales. Hales. Let me explain."

Haley kept her back to him as she looked out at the beach. There was a dog running by splashing his way through the waves rolling in. She thought about what a strange occurrence that was. In all the times she'd come out on the beach, she'd never seen a person out there, never mind a dog. It was very odd that the dog was running by at that exact moment she'd come out. Thirty seconds later and she would have missed it.

Was it the same with the text message? Was it an eerie coincidence? Or did this happen all the time and she never knew it?

"It's Rachel, right?" Haley asked sourly.

"Yeah."

"What? Did she change her number? Or did you purposely keep her unprogrammed?"

Nathan pulled at Haley's shoulder forcing her to turn toward him. "Let me explain."

Haley crossed her arms. "Go ahead."

"I unprogrammed her—as in I _deleted_ her from my life. I can't help that she texts me."

"Does she? Does she text you a lot?"

"No! I haven't heard from her since the bar fight! She's just coming back around because she heard tryouts went well."

"Is she your girlfriend?"

"Are you kidding me?" Nathan asked raising his voice.

"You said you never broke up—"

"I was talking about sophomore year-We broke up after that! I know I told you that!"

"I guess," Haley shrugged and sighed. It was easy to confuse the timeline with her emotions running wild.

Nathan put his hands on her shoulders. "Haley, _you_ are the one I have programmed in my phone. _You_ are the one I would call my girlfriend if I could. Instead, I'll just have to settle for-" He moved his hands to her waist and pulled her toward him. He let his lips hover just outside her ear. "My girl….What can make me feel this way? My girl…My girl…My girl."

Despite her best efforts, Haley started smiling. She gave him forceful push away. "Stop it!"

"I'm just being honest," Nathan said smiling as he held his hands up.

"Are we, Nathan? Are we being honest?" Haley asked seriously.

"With each other, we are. It's all that matters right now."

"This is the way it has to be," Haley said unhappily.

"_For now_," Nathan said taking a step toward her.

Haley met him halfway and they embraced in a hug. She thought about how Rachel was messing with Nathan again. "I don't like her."

"You shouldn't. I don't even like her," Nathan said rubbing her back.

Haley pulled away a little so she could see him. "She's going to come back, isn't she?"

"Probably. It's not going to change anything, though."

"She can't find out about us either."

Nathan couldn't argue with that. Rachel could not be trusted. Still, once he signed that contract, would it matter? "For now," he said again.

"You know, last night when we were sitting out on porch I was thinking about how important it is just to enjoy the simple things in life. I just want to be with you, Nathan. I just want to have more days like this."

"Were you thinking about your dad last night, too?"

"A little," Haley said biting her lip. "How did you know?"

"You got quiet and had that sad look in your eyes."

"I can't help but miss him sometimes. His death helps remind me not to take things for granted."

Nathan kissed her forehead. "I don't take you for granted. I appreciate you." He slowly began to move his hands down to her ass. "And I appreciate this part of you."

"Nathan! Don't start that!"

"I cannot wait to have sex with you again," he said dramatically.

"I just want you healthy again."

"Oh, come on. Don't tell me you don't want some of this," Nathan said pointing to his chiseled abs.

Haley pinched his cheeks. "Mostly, I just want to wake up and see your face next to me."

"That's it?" Nathan asked with disappointment.

Haley patted his face. "Simple things, Nathan."

"_For now_," Nathan said with a suggestive raise of his eyebrow as he grabbed her ass.

* * *

><p>The first time Haley heard the ringtone she wasn't even aware of it. She was preoccupied in the market, loading the six packs of Gatorade out of her carriage and onto the conveyer belt of the register, silently cursing Nathan for all the heavy lifting. As the music kept going, she looked around, not recognizing it as her own. She shrugged it off and continued unloading her carriage.<p>

"Uh, I think that's you," the lady behind her in line said pointing to her purse.

"No, my phone doesn't do that," Haley politely responded. The music stopped and everyone went back to their business. Once she was at the register to pay, she took out her phone just to ease her mind. She saw she had a missed call….from "Sexy." Her face began to flush red. To her relief, the cashier distracted her as she gave her total amount due. Haley set her phone down and ran her debit card through the machine reader.

Just then, her phone began to ring. The lyrics were crystal clear. "Girl, look at that body….Girl, look at that body…I work out!"

The cashier and the person behind her in line started snickering.

Haley looked at her phone in shock. A picture of Nathan's abs along with the chorus "Sexy and I Know It" from LMAFO was playing. Haley could feel the heat on her cheeks as she clasped her hand over the phone and sent the call to voicemail. Flustered, she tried punching in her pin code for her debit card, put kept messing up. She finally gave up and handed the cashier her credit card.

At that moment, the phone began ringing again. Both the cashier and the lady looked at the phone getting a clear view of the picture of his abs.

Haley picked up the phone and yelled into it, "I'm going to kill you!" She hung up right away, knowing full well she had just given him the reaction he'd wanted.

"Let me guess," the lady snickered, "your sexy boyfriend just played a joke on you?"

"He's not—"

"He is sexy," the cashier said handing her the pen and slip of paper. "That was quite a six pack! You're a lucky girl."

Haley accepted the pen and paper and leaned down to sign it. "Yes," she admitted. "I'm very lucky."

She was lucky to have someone that cared enough to take the time to do something like that. She didn't even know her phone was capable of that. She was also lucky to have someone bring laughter and frivolity into her life like in that way. Yes, she was still high on enjoying the simple things from her relationship with Nathan. She took back her credit card and slipped it her purse. She clutched the phone in her hand after slinging her purse over her shoulder. Before pushing her carriage away she looked proudly at the cashier and the lady. "And he is really sexy."

* * *

><p>At work, Haley was in the middle of catching up on some of the latest research on autism when Nathan called on her cellphone. Every time she heard the ringtone, she smiled. Immersed in her article, she kept her eyes fixed on the computer screen as she answered her phone. "What's up?"<p>

"I'm feeling really good today; _really good_," Nathan emphasized.

"Great," Haley said her eyes still scanning the article she had been reading.

Nathan was a little taken aback at her lack of excitement. "I did my five mile rule in my normal time, then I worked out, and now I'm thinking of going for a swim!"

"A swim?" Haley asked distractedly. "At my place?"

"Yeah, actually, that's part of the reason why I called. You up for a swim later?"

Haley looked at the time. "Yes! That sounds great! I can actually get out of here soon. Give me an hour."

"Is everything okay?"

"I just had a cancellation this afternoon and another tomorrow morning. That never happens, so I'll take advantage of it. Plus, it's so hot out, a swim sounds great! I'll see you there!"

"I'm getting hot just thinking about—"

"What was the other reason you called? You said swimming was just part of the reason," Haley said processing everything through.

"I want to tell you that I'm back to myself. I'm fully recovered—and I feel great!"

"Well, good. Okay, talk to you later."

"Love you."

"Love you, too. Bye."

Haley set her phone down and started to analyze their conversation. She hadn't been paying attention for half of it and was sure she missed some hidden message. She quickly discovered it as his words played over in her head: _I'm feeling really good today; really good. I'm back to myself. I'm fully recovered. I feel great!_

This was about sex. He was trying to tell her—well convince her was more like it—that he was ready to have sex again.

Haley picked up her phone amused by how boyish he could be at times. She sent him a simple text message reminding him to pick up some condoms. It wasn't the best time for his libido to return and she wanted to be safe tonight. Honestly, it would be better if they held off, but with the excitement she heard in his voice, she was found herself growing anxious as well.

A minute later, Haley's cellphone rang again. This time she was heavily annoyed at another break in her concentration from reading. She grabbed her phone and saw it was just as she expected. "Do I have to remind you I'm at work? And I'm trying to leave so I can go see you?"

Nathan laughed. "Did you-" He suddenly found himself unable to get the words out as laughter overtook him. "You—You—"

"What?" Haley snapped. "What did I do?"

"You texted me not to forget the condoms—like in 'hey, don't forget to pick up the milk' kind of a way," Nathan mocked her.

"I—I-We don't have any more," Haley tried to explain. "At your place or mine."

"Well, it's a bit presumptuous that you just assume—"

Now, Haley understood he was just using this as an opportunity to bust her. "You know what, Nathan—get them or not, I don't care. It's not like we'll need them tonight anyway!"

She hung up at him and tried to go right back to her reading. She read the same sentence six times but couldn't focus on it. Her blood was boiling and her heart was racing. She took a few deep breaths and a drink of water. She picked up her phone and looked at the text message she'd sent Nathan. _Don't forget to pick up some condoms_. It actually was kind of funny. She started to laugh at herself. Her laughter increased as she imagined his reaction to it. She typed up a new text message to him. _I could use some milk too._

* * *

><p>Once Haley saw that Nathan was already in the pool swimming laps, she went over to see him before heading up to her apartment. It took a few minutes for him to notice her. While she waited, she sat in a nearby chair and enjoyed the sight of his body gliding through the water propelled by his strong arms and muscular legs. It was so good to see him healthy and vibrant again. She still didn't think he was back to normal and was probably pushing himself too much, but by now she knew that was him. As long as he was headed in the right direction, she was content to let him get there on his own. As he effortlessly performed those laps, she knew he was headed there.<p>

When Nathan took a break, he finally noticed Haley. He walked to the edge of the pool. "Hey."

Haley stood up and walked over to him. She watched as he shook his head, sending sprinkle of water flying from his hair. He crossed his arms, showing off his bulging biceps, which had a few drops of water running down them. She licked her lips and looked into those sparkling blue eyes that matched the color of the water and the sky. "Hey, look at that body."

Nathan issued her a smug smile. "How about you go get changed so I can look at your body?"

"I can do that," Haley said winking at him.

"Oh, and I picked up that milk for you." Nathan raised an eyebrow at her and then took off, starting another round of laps.

Haley left the pool area and headed up to her apartment. She set down her purse and keys and went into her bedroom to change. Sitting the middle of her bed was the white teddy bear. Propped up in its hands was the largest box of condoms she'd ever seen. It was adorned with red bow. For the second time that day, she laughed alone in a room by herself, all because of Nathan.

Knowing she was just minutes away from spending the rest of the evening with him, Haley hurried up and changed into her black one-piece bathing suit. She fixed her hair up in a bun on the top of her head, grabbed a towel and headed down to the pool.

When she arrived, Nathan was done his laps and was just floating around. She could feel his eyes on her as she set her things down and headed for the stairs at the shallow end. She slowly took the steps into the pool, pausing each time to adjust to shift in temperature on her body.

Nathan splashed some water in her direction. "Come on, Hales. Just come right in!"

"Let me be. And don't splash me! I don't want to get my hair wet." The second the words were out of her mouth, she realized her mistake. She had just thrown him a huge challenge. Now, there was no way she was going to make it out of the pool with dry hair.

Nathan stood back and waited for her to make her way to the center of the pool. He slowly began to make his way over to her.

Haley closed her eyes and held up her hands defensively in front of her. "Don't splash. Let me go at my own pace."

"I'm not going to splash. Promise," Nathan said sincerely.

Haley opened her eyes and began to relax as he gently moved in front of her. He held open his arms and she sunk into them.

"You don't want to swim?" Nathan asked as he pulled her body up to his.

"Not tonight. Tonight I just want to relax with you." Haley clasped her legs around his waist and draped her hands around his shoulders.

"I'm not sure I believe you can swim."

"I'm a very good swimmer. The swim coach in Honey Grove tried to get me to go out for the team. She said I was very buoyant. I just didn't have time, but I kind of regret it. It was the one sport I might have been good at. In fact, I wonder if I could beat you in race. Being small has its advantages. Then again, you do have long legs…"

"Why don't we test that out?"

"Not tonight," Haley repeated. "We're relaxing tonight."

Nathan started to catch on. She really didn't think he was back to himself. It bothered him, but he was also touched by her genuine concern. "You really want to just relax?"

"Like this," Haley said lowering her lips to his. As she gave him a tender kiss, his arms moved firmly under her back as he carried her out into deeper water. They continued kissing as water rose up Haley's backside. The sharp contrast of the cool water to the heat growing inside of her felt so good. She didn't even mind that a few loose strands of hand hanging from the back of her head were getting wet. The security she felt in the tight grip of Nathan's arms superseded anything else.

Nathan made sure his grip on Haley was tight. He also made sure they were deep enough in water so he could touch the pool floor but she couldn't. He continued to distract her with kisses. He started to pull away, just enough to utter a few words. "Baby?"

"Mmm," Haley struggling to find his lips again.

"Did you really-" He kissed her a few more times. "—think you were—" They shared a few more kisses. "—going to come—" This time his words were cut off by her forceful kisses. "—in the pool and not get you hair wet," he spat out once they broke for air.

Haley turned her head to kiss him again. As her lips neared his, she opened her eyes and saw lips curled up into a crooked smile. She pulled back and saw the mischievous glint his eyes.

All of a sudden those strong hands on her back no longer felt secure. They were like a barricade. She tried to wiggle out of his grip but couldn't. Nathan just stood in place smiling back at her. When she tried to kick him away with her foot, he began moving them around in circles. She had no choice but to hold on tight and keep her legs clasped around him.

"Close your eyes. Hold your breath. We're going under, Hales," Nathan taunted.

"I'm going to kill you!"

"You better stop talking. You don't want water in your mouth," Nathan snickered. He waited until she had her eyes clasped tightly shut and mouth closed. He slowed down their movements and stopped. He pushed up and down on his knees, each time bring her perilously close to having her head under water. "Okay, in three….One!...Two!...Three!"

On the count of three, instead of going under water, Nathan stood straight up and laughed as Haley clung furiously to him.

When she realized they were not going under water, she opened her eyes. Just then, Nathan started moving them up and down again.

"One!...Two!...Three!" Again, he stood straight up and laughed.

"You're such an ass!" Haley fumed. "Just do it—" At that point, she saw the look in his eyes. She understood this was it. They were going under. She buried her face in this neck and squeezed her legs around him. A few seconds later, they were under water.

Secretly, Haley enjoyed it. She enjoyed all of it really; his teasing, his jokes, his games. It had been a while since they'd laughed liked this. Once they were back above water, she was determined to continue their game by trying to punish him.

She swam after him as he swam away. When he stopped at the far wall of the deep end, she pushed up against him, pinning his back up against the wall. She knew he could get away easily if he wanted to, but she gave him a sultry look and ran her hands up and down his body to keep him in place. "You are in serious trouble," she said looking him up and down.

"I like being in trouble, especially with you," Nathan grinned.

Haley took the elastic out of her hair and reached over his shoulder and placed it on the edge of the pool. She shook out the wet tangled mess of her hair and looked at him with dismay. "Look at what you did! Are you happy now?"

"Absolutely. You know I love it when you have your hair down."

"Well, I hope you don't mind washing and conditioning it, because that's all on you!"

Nathan ran his hand through some of her hair, pushing it away from her face. "I'll wash you all over, just like you washed me. Seriously, I want to take care you tonight—"

Haley was so lost in his tender touches, his meaningful gaze and genuine words, she didn't pay attention to the person watching them from outside of the pool gate. It was only when she heard that person speak a jolt of panic and fear ran through her body.

* * *

><p>Preview of next chapter: "All I Want" (Toad the Wet Sprocket)<p>

AN: I had a feeling it would take this long to post a new chapter and unfortunately, I was right. I know it may seem like a lot didn't happen here, but I am building towards something—both in terms of character and plot development. Admittedly, this chapter and the next are more character development. In fact, I need some time to work a few things out. I typically only write one chapter ahead, but I need to write a little more ahead so I know where I'm going and make sure everything lines up. This means I probably won't post for this story right away again. I won't go more than a week though (unless my friends suddenly need my help again—I had a Nathan-like friend end up in the ER after holding out for a while. The tough guy needed morphine and had dr. orders not to return to work. Another friend needed my help w/an event last minute).

What I can do for you is offer up a sneak peek about who is at the gate. Also, if you are wondering about when I will post or how my progress is coming along, you could also contact me. I'm finding twitter is such an easy, fast way to connect with my readers. I'm loving it!

As always, thanks for your reviews. I'd love to hear your guesses as to who is at the gate. Also, what changes have you noticed in Naley? How could these present problems?

Lastly, I want to remind you _at some point_ there are some dramatic surprises in store. I've read some of your predictions and one clue I will give is that I am not using some standard clichés you might be familiar with. For example, you already know Rachel's going to show up, but so do Naley and they've talked about it. This is in lieu of just throwing her in there. I'm trying to keep this story (unlike _Far Away_) somewhat realistic. It still doesn't mean there isn't going to be drama. The major plot devices I have in the story are all connected to the character development. There is one plot that will come out of left field—just like how in life these things happen—and when that times come, I will probably go into hiding. I'm that nervous about it. Hope you'll stick around nonetheless! In the end, I think it's a great story about career, life and love!


	30. Chapter 30

**Disclaimer #1**: Characters, minor plot points and dialogue belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and _One Tree Hill_ writers.

**Disclaimer #2**: Although my career is in the field of psychology, I have taken a lot of liberties with my story. My background is nothing like Haley's in this story. Her story only has _a little_ basis in reality. I know many people in that field who have given me inspiration for details here and there, but this situation is entirely fictional. Please don't take what you read as fact, especially when it comes to the research discussed and ethics of practicing psychology. As with all my stories, you have to use the suspension of disbelief, just as you do with our favorite tv show. The examples in this story are merely for plot purposes. If you do have questions or concerns about the psychological elements of the story, please feel free to pm me. I'd love to discuss!

Chapter 30: "All I Want" (Toad the Wet Sprocket)

"Haley! Haley!"

Recognizing the voice, Nathan ducked under water and swam away.

Haley swam over to the stairs and climbed out of the pool. She walked over to the pool gate. "Hey, Nina," she said trying to sound casual despite her nervous fidgeting. "What brings you here?"

Nina slid a cellphone towards Haley. "You left this on my desk. I figured I drop it by since it was on my way home. I would have called, but…you know."

Haley took phone and smiled. "Thanks." She looked over her shoulder. Nathan was at the other end of the pool with his back to them. Even then, it was still obvious it was him. "Uh, Nina, about what you just saw—"

Nina held up her hand. "No need to explain. What you do on your own time is none of my business."

"We're just friends—"

"Uh-huh," Nina snickered. "Listen, Haley, I'm not going to say anything. I told you before; you can trust me."

"He's just had these tryouts and he got sick," Haley continued trying to explain.

"I heard about that," Nina sympathized. "I'm sure you care about him a lot."

Haley saw the disapproving look in Nina's eyes. "But what?"

"If you're asking….the truth is, I'm surprised you're risking your career like this."

Haley looked away. "Dr. Rimkus is _not _going to find out." She finally looked back up at Nina. "Besides, the Ethics Commission is off our backs now, right?"

"Yeah, they cleared her, but they're still keeping their eye on her. And don't forget, she didn't get that grant extension. She's going to be around a lot more now. If she catches on, I could see her taking everything out on you-taking away your hours, breaking from Stanford—"

"I know, Nina," Haley interjected. She looked back towards Nathan. "In a few weeks, he'll be away for training. Then, it won't be like this. My work will be coming in, too. For now, I just want to enjoy what time we have left."

"Well, you do that," Nina turned to leave, but hesitated. "And Haley? I'll keep my eyes open for you."

"Thanks," Haley said warmly. "I'll see you tomorrow."

Haley set her phone down by the towel and got back into the pool. She met Nathan in the middle of the pool. She pushed down on him so she could put her hands on his shoulders. "It's okay. We can trust her."

"Are you sure? Because what if she's a fan of Devon Fox? What if she doesn't want to see him get cut? She could call up one of those sports—"

"Nathan, she's not like that. She's not even that into basketball."

"Well, is she married? Is her husband?"

"No, she's single." Haley started to get frustrated. "Nathan, what about _my_ career? Don't you think in this case, this is a bigger deal?"

"You just have to keep this secret from _one_ person, Hales. I have to keep this under wraps from _everyone_….At least until I sign the contract and I'm on the team, starting in games—"

"What do you mean 'at least until'?" Haley asked confused.

"I want to see what my contract says. I have a feeling that as long as I play well and don't have any issues, they couldn't kick me off the team for something like this."

"Well, that's great for _you_, Nathan, but that doesn't help _me_," Haley pointed out. "Have you thought about that?"

"Well, I just thought….that, uh,….No, I didn't," he sheepishly admitted. "What does that mean? Do we have to keep things like this forever?"

"For a long time…..I mean, I don't expect you to stick around long enough—"

Nathan stood up. He towered over her with a strong, severe stance. "I'm not going anywhere, Hales. We'll figure this out. One day at time if we have to do."

"I was telling Nina that all I want is to enjoy the time we have before things get crazy for both of us—and _they will_. I figure things are going to change anyway. Why bother fighting it? We can just see what happens. We could be worrying for nothing. We could be so busy that we don't even have time-"

Nathan was still stuck on Haley, her career, and the possibility of a shared future. "What about when you get your PhD? Can they take it away from you if they find out?"

"Not my PhD, but I also have to be certified by the state as a psychologist. The state can revoke or suspend your license at any time…but this all happened with Dr. Rimkus, so they might not penalize me-Nathan, I don't want to think about this."

Nathan ran his hand through his wet hair. "It's all my fault. I can't let go of that."

Haley tugged at his arms to bring him back down into the water. She wasn't actively trying to distract him. She was just done with having that conversation. She ran her fingers through his hair, styling it with her fingers. "There. It's getting long, you know."

"I'm going to shave it soon," he muttered.

"Like a buzz cut?"

"No. I always shave it right before the season starts. Then I let it grow out. It's kind of superstitious ritual. A lot of athletes believe it's bad luck to cut your hair midseason."

"That's stupid," Haley said with a roll of her eyes. "What other rituals do you have?"

"I don't know. You'll have to wait and see, I guess. I'll let you figure them out because you are going to come to my games—even if you have dress in disguise."

"I could go with Matthew's family," She suggested. "I would blend in with them."

"You could do that. I am going to take care of him like I promise. Apparently, I also have to take him out on Lucas' boat. Can't believe he won't let me off the hook for that!"

Haley laughed. Yes, ever since Nathan mentioned that at the end of Anna's birthday party, Matthew had developed on obsession for boats. Luckily, Matthew seemed to understand Nathan's demanding schedule. He knew all about tryouts and hadn't expected a visit from him during that time. It was just yesterday that Nathan visited and saw firsthand Matthew's new obsession.

"We'll ask Lucas about it this weekend," she suggested. Saturday night Lucas, Peyton, Brooke and Julian were going to Nathan's for a celebratory dinner in honor of the outcome of tryouts. Haley was going too, of course, offering her services as a "friend" to help out with the cooking. It would be interesting to see how that turned out. Haley didn't know if they would buy the act, but she also wasn't stressed about it. They were close friends and would serve as a testing for the big party Nathan wanted to throw before he left for training. At that party, Clay and some D-Fenders and Lakers guys would be in attendance. Thus, for his sake, they would have to be sure no one picked up on anything and saw her as nothing more than a good, helpful close friend.

"You ask him," Nathan suggested. "Convince him I can take the boat out without him!"

Haley doubted that was going to happen. "So you're going to be bald?" She asked with a look of pure disgust as she continued to run her fingers through his hair.

"My hair grows fast. You'll see."

"No, I won't see-Or wait—will I? What's preseason like?"

"I talked to my friend Tony yesterday. He said it's supposed to be secluded, but isn't really. Back in the day it was no girls at all. Today, it's more lax. Families and wives visit…even girlfriends," he sighed.

"Not friends," Haley said understanding. "It's fine. We can do the Skype thing…when you have time. You won't be home?"

"No. L.A. is our home base, but the team stays together. It's like a bonding thing." Nathan quickly smirked to himself.

Haley caught that. "What?"

"Tony said there might be a little hazing for the new guys. He wouldn't elaborate, but I've heard stories."

"Like what?"

"Like I have a curfew. They put tape on the door to make sure I don't go out while they go out and party."

Haley shrugged. "That doesn't sounds so bad."

Nathan pulled her close to him and began to move them around. "Oh, yeah. You wouldn't think so, huh? You'd just love it if I had nothing better to do than sit around and think of you—"

"You can talk to me—You can see me," Haley smiled.

"But I can't touch you. That's going to drive me crazy. Who's the idiot that thought of getting you a webcam, anyway? It's just another way to torture me."

"The same guy who probably thought I'd be up for making some sex tapes!"

Nathan's face brightened. "Oh, we could have some fun with our webcams," he said lightly swaying them around.

"Stop it!" Haley watched as he stopped moving them but kept that smirk. She could only imagine the thoughts running through his head. "I said stop it!"

"I'm not doing anything," Nathan laughed.

"You're smirking! Stop it!"

Nathan set her down and pulled away. "I think it's time to get out anyway. We have a shower to steam up." He began to head out of the pool.

Haley followed him. "Just a quick shower. I want to cook dinner—a healthy dinner—then I need to call my mom."

"Oh, I want to talk to her, too!"

"She's worried about you."

"What does she know?" Nathan asked as he handed her a towel.

Haley took the towel and began drying off. "She knows you were sick and that I took care of you. She knows I've been watching after you. She basically knows everything except—you know." She pointed her finger at him. "So, don't tell her. She's tricky. She'll try and get it out of you."

Finished drying off, Nathan draped his towel over his shoulder. "Puh-lease. My girl is a psychologist. I know how to handle that."

Haley reached over and tapped his shoulder as she past him, heading for the stairs. "You finally got it right!"

Nathan followed behind her. "See, I knew 'my girl' would grow on you!"

"I meant psychologist, not psychiatrist," she said flatly.

"Okay, Doc. So after we talk to your mom, what are we going to do?"

"We can relax and watch some tv. It is cuddle night…"

Nathan rolled his eyes. "Didn't you see the present I got you?"

"The milk?" Haley teased.

Nathan wasn't fooled. "Hey, Hales, can I have your towel?"

Midway up the stairs, Haley stopped and turned around. She looked curiously at his towel.

"Mine's wet," Nathan explained.

Confused, Haley took the towel secured around her waist and handed to him. She turned back around and headed back up the stairs. One step up and she felt Nathan's hand on her ass. She jumped and squealed.

"Pregame ritual, Hales," Nathan snickered.

Haley tried to hurry her way up the rest of the stairs. Despite that, Nathan was still able to make contact with her ass three more times.

* * *

><p>Haley looked at Nathan's empty plate. She'd made boneless chicken, green beans and baked potatoes and he had two servings of each. "I guess you liked it!" She said with a self-satisfied smile.<p>

Nathan pushed back the stool and stood up. "Yup!" He said rubbing his stomach area. "Thanks, Hales!" He kissed the side of her head and turned away.

"Hey! Where do you think you're going?" Haley asked sharply.

Nathan looked at the spread of dirty dishes on the island counter. He reluctantly began to pile them up.

Haley pushed back her stool and headed towards the living room.

"Where do you think you're going?" Nathan mocked her.

"To call my mom. Now that you're," Haley gestured dramatically with quotations, " 'all better,' you can wash the dishes—on your own. It's only fair since I cooked!"

Nathan sighed heavily and turned on the water in her sink. Washing the dishes, didn't take more than ten minutes, but he hated every second of it. If he could, he would get her a damn dishwater just to avoid it. Even worse, he knew he had to do a good job, because Haley would inspect them. It was much better when they did it as team and he just had to dry them and put them away.

Once he finished, he took a seat next to Haley on the couch. "Hey, Mom," he called over Haley's shoulders.

"Well," Haley said dryly, "I guess that means I'm done talking to you. Here—you try and talk some sense into him." She shoved the phone at him. When he took it, she left the couch and went into the kitchen.

"Hey, Mrs. James. How are you?"

"Oh I'm just peachy-keen, Nathan. The question is, how are you?"

"I'm fine—didn't Haley tell you?"

"I can hear in her voice that she's still worried about you," Lydia responded.

Nathan looked over at Haley. He snickered when he saw her pulling a plate he just washed and dried out of the cabinet and examining it. "You know what she's worried about now? If I washed the dishes to her satisfaction!"

"Jesus Christ," Lydia muttered. "She's just like her father!"

"Oh yeah?" Nathan asked curiously. He couldn't picture the goofy guy in the family photo doing that.

"Oh, yeah," Lydia confirmed. "Jimmy was very particular about some things and washing dishes was one of them. He roped Haley in nice and young. The two of them were quite the pair, let me tell you. I have this picture—I actually just framed it—It's of the two of them at the kitchen sink. Haley couldn't have been more than four and she's standing on this stool, barely able to reach the counter. Jimmy is handing her a dish and she's got this towel that's as big as her arm, ready to dry it. That's the way it was in our house for years. He'd wash and she'd dry. No one else could go near the dishes."

"Well, usually she washes and I dry, but tonight for some reason, she trusted me to do them on my own."

"She's testing you, Nathan. Didn't you just tell me she's checking over your work?"

"Yeah, I guess….Hmmm," Nathan said thoughtfully. "So, Haley's like her dad? I always thought she was like you."

"She's a mix….She has her father's sense of humor, too. They both loved jokes. Didn't care if they were one being played or the one carding them out. Loved 'em just the same."

"Really? She's never played a joke on me," he said disappointedly. "But she does have a great laugh."

"That's her daddy's, too," Lydia said with a twinge of sadness.

"Well, I think she gets her good looks from you," Nathan said trying to cheer her up.

"Oh, you are something else, Nathan Scott!" Lydia said perking up. "So I guess congratulations are in order. You'll have to let me know when you're squaring off against those Bobcats."

"You'd come?"

"Sure would. You're worth the drive."

Nathan's heart warmed. "I don't know if Haley's told you, but I haven't signed a contract yet."

"Oh but you will….Right after they kick that Fox guy off. Haley told me all about that."

Nathan shook his head as he looked over at Haley. She was rewashing the cutlery he'd left out to dry. He envisioned the photograph Lydia described to him. He wanted to see it….and other pictures of Haley growing up. "Hey, maybe I could make a detour to Tree Hill when we're in Charlotte. I need to see Whitey anyway."

"I'd love that! You'd have to stay here! Oh, wait—you have that beach house, don't you?"

"I don't really go there."

"It's settled then!"

"Now, we just have to convince Haley to take some time off of work," Nathan said looking her way.

At the mention of her name, Haley turned around and gave him a skeptical look.

"Good luck with that one," Lydia said wryly. "So, tell me, Nathan, are you really feeling okay? Sleeping well?"

"Yeah. I sleep fine. I'm back doing my working out routine and everything."

"Haley still keeping you up and night? Kicking you in her sleep and all that—I have to admit she gets that from me!"

Nathan laughed. "Actually, she's been good lately. It's stealing the covers that bothers me. It's hot out, so we have the ac on and it can get cold at night—especially at her place. Every damn night I wake at the same time and freezing my ass off. Of course, Haley tried to explain to me something about body temperature hitting its low point—" He paused noticing Haley glaring at him. "—and making you shiver…Anyway, I think Hales wants to talk you."

"Oh, I bet she doesn't," Lydia said quickly. "In fact, I think I better let you go—"

"You don't want to talk to her?"

"I'm good. You just take care of yourself, Nathan….and get a good night's sleep. Tell Haley I said you can use the blanket Grams knitted for her."

"Uh, okay. Bye, Mrs. James."

"Bye, Nathan."

Nathan set Haley's phone down. Haley was standing with crossed arms at the foot of the kitchen staring off into space. "I ask her if she wanted to talk to you—You heard me, right? She said no."

Haley let out a deep sigh. She uncrossed her arms and began to walk towards Nathan.

Nathan noticed her sluggish, defeated body posture. He racked his brain trying to figure out what he'd done wrong. "Listen, Hales, you know I have a dishwasher. I know I suck—"

Haley sat down on his lap, sideways. "I know, babe. From now on, I'll wash and you can dry when we're here." She looked at his face and saw in his eyes how nervous he was. She closed her eyes as she reminded herself not to get angry with him. "I just want to know….Did you slip up or did she trick you into saying that?"

Nathan cocked his head a little to the right. "Huh? About missing work? That was my idea."

"About sleeping with me," Haley said quietly.

"Oh, fuck," Nathan blurted out as he let his head fall back against the couch. He picked it up and put a hand on the center of Haley's back. "I'm sorry. Fuck."

"So,…did you slip up? Or was it her?"

"It was her," Nathan reluctantly admitted. "She asked me if you still were kicking me in my sleep."

"Yeah, you fed right into that."

"I'm sorry, baby," Nathan said, his blue eyes shining with remorse.

Haley shifted positions to face him. She put one leg on each side of him and propped herself up on her knees. "It's okay. You're just not used to the mind games of Lydia James. Where do you think I learned them from?"

He had learned a lot more about Haley tonight. It made him realize there were still so many things he didn't know about her. He was anxious to go to her childhood home and learn more. It would also be interesting to visit their hometown together. He also knew, as Lydia hinted, it would take some effort to convince Haley. He wasn't even going to broach the subject tonight, but there was something else he wanted to talk about. "I hate lying to your mom. Do we really have to do that?"

Haley starting playing with his hair. For some reason, knowing it was going to be gone soon bothered her. "I don't lie to her. I just don't tell her everything anymore."

"Well, I don't like your relationship changing like that, especially because of me. You've always been close-"

Haley retracted her hands and set them down. "I don't want to hear it from her, okay?"

"What? That we shouldn't be together like this?"

"No! She wants us together—getting married-making babies! You should hear her! I swear she's got our firstborn named already! No, what she wants is for me to quit working with Dr. Rimkus. She wants me to start over somewhere else."

Nathan's mind was spinning. Did Haley just mention getting married and having babies? No, that was her mother. He calmed down and settled on her last thought. "You're sure you don't want to do that?"

"No," Haley said with heavy irritation. "I've invested way too much."

"And then there's Matthew…" For him, it was that emotional bond that stood out the most. "You're worried about him too right?"

"In kind of selfish way," Haley reluctantly admitted. "At this point, no matter what, I know his parents are going to get him the help he needs. They're part of this study to try and help him, but even if it doesn't work out, they'll get in involved in some early intervention program and I'll do my part to make sure that happens. For me, I want to be sure I have the data I need for my dissertation. I also don't want to screw up things for Stanford."

"I don't know if I buy that. You have a bond with Matthew. I've seen it."

"It's different for me. When psychologists work with children, they have to do that to be successful, but it's part of the job. I've had to hold back with him so I can be objective. I care about him, but I'm not as attached as you are. I can't be. At the end of the day, I have to shut things off. It's part of my job. "

"You did a great job shutting things off with me," Nathan couldn't resist pointing out.

"You're different," Haley said matter of factly. "For a long time it bothered me, but now I've just accepted the fact that you are that _one person_ I couldn't control my emotions with."

Nathan weakly smiled. That comment made him feel special, but he still was concerned about Haley's relationship with her mother. "So, what's going to happen the next time you talk to your mom? Will she be upset with you?"

"It won't matter now. Whatever happens, will be. My guess is that she won't mention it…I'll have to call Vivian and feel her out."

Nathan mind began to wander. He knew exactly what he wanted to feel out. He ran his eyes along Haley's body. He looked at her silky smooth legs on either side of him. He followed them up to her thighs, then continued up the length of her body. His eyebrow slightly raised as his eyes landed on the small stretch of skin exposed along the tip of her gym shorts and hem of her tank top. He licked his lips as he looked at her breasts which rose and fell with her soft breaths. Her pink glossy lips called out to him. They started to curl up and his eyes darted to hers. Yeah, she had that look; seeing it made his heart start to race faster. He brought his hand to the side of her head, just to the side of her messy bun. He tugged and brought her head down to his.

Haley closed her eyes and got lost as their lips connected. They struggled to remain connected as she felt one of his hands move under her shirt. That contact prompted her to start unbuttoning his shorts. She stopped when she felt both of Nathan's hands on her breasts. She sat back to allow him better access. "Oh, God," she moaned as his fingers massaged her nipples.

"You didn't put on a bra," Nathan smirked. It was the first thing he noticed when she finished changing and all night his eyes kept darting to her chest, falling on the outline of her nipples.

"I didn't see the point." With that, Haley reached down, grabbed the hem of her tank top and lifted it over her head.

Nathan felt his member starting to twitch as he watched Haley take out her bun and shake her hair over her body. He pushed down his shorts as much as he could to alleviate some of the pressure. "You are so fucking sexy."

Haley pouted as she looked at his t-shirt. "I want to see that sexy body," she said pointing.

Nathan proudly took off his shirt. "You liked that ringtone, huh?"

Haley ran her hands appreciatively up and down his abs. "I like seeing it live better."

"You're going to get me live all night!"

"Nathan," Haley said sharply. "You don't need to prove anything."

Nathan moved his hands under her shoulders and pulled her towards him. "I just want to take care of you."

As Haley kissed him, she slipped her tongue into his mouth. As their kisses grew deeper and deeper she pushed her body towards his. A jolt swept through her body as it came into contact with his prominent erection. She cast her eyes downward. They lit up with excitement as she reached down to feel it. "Oh, I want to take care of you, Nathan."

Nathan stood up taking her with him. "Okay, that's enough. We're going to the bedroom."

Haley put her arms around his neck moved her legs around his waist. "Oh, why?" She teased. "We could have just done it on the couch!" She shifted gears as he set her down on the bed. "Oh! I want to be on top!"

Nathan shook his head as he took off his shorts and boxers. "I'm taking care of you—first anyway."

"You're so stubborn!" Haley complained as she helped him get her shorts off. As he cast them aside, she took off her panties and held them up for him to see. "Did you forget these?"

"You're all fired up tonight, huh?" Nathan said as he lowered himself on the bed over her.

Haley happily nodded. She ran her hands up and down his back as they looked at each other, communicating with the lust in their eyes. "Are you going to let me feel you first?"

"Is that okay?" Nathan checked. This was their routine when it came to using condoms, but he always wanted to make sure. He knew they had dodged a bullet the first time they were together and didn't want it happening again.

"Oh, yeah," Haley said as she arched the center of her body towards his.

Nathan moved up a little and directed his member towards her open hands. He closed his eyes and took in the intoxicating feelings that came from her careful touches.

Haley watched him as she pumped his hardness. She loved how he let her do this for him; how he let himself go. He had his eyes closed and every so often the corner of his lips would twitch and curl up slightly. Then, he would let out a few staggered breaths. When he started to become wet, she knew her time warming him up was just about done. She never could predict the exact moment when he reached his limit, and this time was no exception.

"Oh, yeah," Nathan grunted as he suddenly jerked away from her.

Haley was left with a void in her hands. It was quickly filled from a zealous look in his eyes that caused her to grow wetter with anticipation. A second later, she gasped when his fingers entered her core. "Oh, God."

Nathan felt around her center and had to restrain himself from plunging into her. She was dripping wet and couldn't wait to get inside of her. "I can't believe how you get like this."

"It's because—"

"Don't give me a scientific explanation for this," Nathan said as he moved his fingers deeper into her and began moving them rhythmically around.

She wasn't going to do that. She had just planned on telling him how much he turned her on. She tried to explain that. "I was….I was…." Haley felt her mouth grow dry as flames ran through her body. Desperate to fan those flames, she began forcefully pushing his shoulders away. "Enough. I want to feel you now. Just a little…."

Nathan withdrew his fingers. He moved his member toward her center. "Tell me when to stop."

"Uh-huh."

Nathan knew better. She never told him when to stop. He was always the one who had to know their limits. Still, it didn't hurt to reminder her.

Haley lifted her center to him as his slick, hard member entered her wet core. She cried out as a surge of pleasure ran through her body. She continued crying out and lifting her body as he pulled fully out, then plunged back in.

Haley knew this wasn't the wisest thing to do, but she didn't care. She trusted him and knew he would stop before they would get into any trouble. Plus, it just felt so damn good.

Haley wasn't sure what part of their lovemaking she enjoyed the most, but this was certainly up there. She loved the initial feeling when he entered her and their bodies became one. Although there hadn't been much foreplay tonight, she also enjoyed that. It was usually a time when they were both coherent enough to actively enjoy each other. It juxtaposed with the feelings she had when he was deep inside of her and they became lost in each other. Yeah, she enjoyed that too in different way. Then, of course, there was when they reached their climaxes. There was no denying it was a satisfying end to their union.

Each time Nathan entered Haley, he could feel just how much her body was craving his. When he saw the first telltale sign she was getting ready to come, an uncontrollable twitch in her body and guttural moan, he pulled completely out and reached over for his condom. He looked at her sympathetically as she fumbled around, trying to recover from the loss of their bodies joined together. "I'm sorry. Just give me a minute."

"Nathan, I really need you. Make me come fast—and come with me. I want to get right to it. I can't wait much longer," she said desperately.

With his condom in place, Nathan moved back over her. "You want to get right to it?"

"Yes," Haley nodded emphatically. "I want you to let go." She didn't want him so focused on 'taking care of her' like he did so many times. She honestly liked it more when he got caught up in her. She loved watching him that way. It made her feel good about herself and she also enjoyed watching him. When he took her by surprise by dramatically plunging into her, Haley knew she was going to get her wish.

"Yes, like that." She kept her hands around his back and watched him as best she could as he moved deeper and deeper inside of her.

"God, I want you," Nathan groaned. He was like a crazy man, his eyes wild with fire, as the lower half of him thrust toward her. Each time, she spurred him on, by lifting her body towards his and digging her nails into his back.

Before long, she couldn't watch him anymore. Instead, she let herself go. She wrapped her legs around his body and clutched her body around his. She let out loud screams of joy as her hands grasped around his hair, neck and back.

From the second Nathan entered her, he knew they were going to come fast. He didn't have a choice. He had to just go with it. He hoped he could make up for it later. For now, he wanted to satisfy their mutual desperate cravings. So, he let his body take over. He responded to her instinctually. It didn't take long to get deep inside of her. When he reached that point, their bodies went crazy. He had his hands in her hair, she had her hands in his and their bodies acted on their own accord.

As Nathan reached his peak, he felt all of his energy dissipate. "Ohhhhh, Haley," he said weakly.

"Yes! Nathan, Nathan, Nathan," Haley said as her entire body shook as she climaxed. As Nathan collapsed on top of her body, she continued to come down from her high. She ran her hand through his hair whispered appreciatively into his ear. "Nathan, you make me feel so good. So good."

Nathan felt her body relax and the guilt set in. There was no question about it; he was done for the night. He wanted so badly, now that they were relaxed, to make love to her in a more intimate way, but it wasn't going to happen. He felt weak, foggy and a little sick. He snuggled his head on her shoulder, closed his eyes and tried to summon the courage to tell her.

When Haley heard Nathan's breathing begin to get heavy, she knew he was falling asleep. She wiggled her body from his and got out of bed. He popped his head up slightly, looked at her, then set it back down on the pillow.

Haley used the bathroom and changed into her pajamas. When she was done, she got out a fresh pair of boxers for Nathan and brought them over to him. She patted his back gently. "Hey, Nathan."

Nathan groggily sat up. He got his bearings, took the boxers from her and went off to the bathroom. When he returned, he could barely look at Haley as he climbed into bed.

Haley knew exactly what was going on with him. She opened up her arms and began prodding him. "Come here, Nathan. Come lie with me."

Nathan miserably made his way over to her. Since she wasn't moving, he had no choice but to turn on his stomach and curl up at her side. Just like before, he rested his head over her shoulder on her pillow. He relaxed as she ran her fingers through his hair.

"Talk to me," Haley said quietly.

"I'm not right yet. I thought I was, but I'm not. I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I knew you weren't yourself yet. We probably shouldn't have done that."

"I just wanted so bad to be okay. I want to take care of you, like you deserve."

"You have been taking care of me," Haley assured him as she continued to stroke him.

"Not in the way that counts. I could feel how much you wanted me and all I could do was give you a quick fix."

Haley chuckled. "This is how I want you. I've decide that my favorite part of making love with you is what comes after."

Nathan lifted his head and shot her a look of disbelief. "Yeah, right."

"No, it is! All I want is to be this way…To feel this close…"

"Well, that's all you're getting because I don't have anything left in me," he said resignedly. "God, I can't believe how you test my limits like that! I honestly thought I was better!"

"You just need a little more time. Until then, just be with me, in the present. This is good, Nathan. We're good."

"You can't deny you've missed the sex…"

"I like the special attention you give me when we're together, but you're doing that right now."

"When I'm better, whenever that may be, I will take care of you—all night!"

Haley laughed. He was so stuck on this 'taking care of her all night' bit. She ran her nails up and down his back. "My man has been taking care of me all along. Take today for example. You got up early, even though you didn't have to, and made me a cup of coffee. You asked me to go swimming with you and then waited to do that with me. You went to the store for us. You washed the dishes, knowing full well how uptight I get about that. Then," she softened her tone, "you talked my mom."

"Did you forget how I fucked that up?"

"The two most important people in my life were talking on the phone about me. That is what I'm left with from that conversation."

"You're not worried about what's going to happen?"

"I'm choosing not to worry." Haley put her mouth to his ear and whispered. "You should choose that, too."

Nathan let those words carry him off to sleep. He tried to let go of his concerns and be present with Haley. It was his dream that stirred them all back up again.

* * *

><p><em>Nathan nudged the guy next to him and pointed down below at the forth lane of the Olympic size swimming pool. "That's my daughter! She might break the state record tonight!"<em>

"_I think I know that, Nathan."_

"_Oh," Nathan replied. He suddenly realized he was talking to Jared. Funny, he didn't recognize him at first. He reached in his pocket and pulled out a stopwatch and handed it to him. "Here. Time it for me. I like to keep my own stats."_

_Jared took the watch and watched for the race to start. "Got it. Relax, Nate. Just focus on the race."_

_Nathan looked excitedly around him. He turned to the old guy next to him. He did a double-take when he realized it was his old basketball coach, Whitey._

_Whitey patted Nathan's back. "Hey there, Scott. You always did say she was practically a fish. She also has your athletic genes and your wife's good looks. Say, where is Mrs. Scott, anyway?"_

"_You mean, Doctor Scott." Nathan looked behind him. He spotted Haley coming down the stairs. He waved her over. _

_When Haley moved next to him, she looked down at the pool. "Did I miss anything?"_

"_No. It's just about to start. They just finished their warm up laps."_

_Haley took her hand in his. "Good. She's going to do it. I can feel it."_

"_She's got nerves of steel. I swear she's not even thinking about it," Nathan said proudly. _

_Haley squeezed his hand. "She gets that from you."_

_Nathan got a feeling of déjà vu. _

_The next thing he knew, he was standing outside of the locker room impatiently waiting to greet his daughter. He didn't remember it happening, but he knew she had broken that state record in the 500 freestyle. He was insanely proud of her. He had no idea how she did it. She was fierce competitor and loved to challenge herself. She swam the longest, most exhausting race with such each and grace._

_As he continued to look around anxiously, he realized he had no idea what she looked like. How could that be? Would he recognize his own daughter?_

_The second he saw her, he felt a pang in his heart. She was so beautiful—just like her mother. The only difference was her sparkling blue eyes and long legs. He stood in place stunned as love and pride soared though his body._

_Her eyes lit up when she saw him. She ran over and threw her arms around him. "Dad! I did it!"_

"_I'm so proud of you!" Nathan exclaimed as he kissed the side of her head._

_He kept his arm around her as he walked her over to Haley. His heart felt like it was going to burst as he watched them share an emotional hug. When they broke away, Nathan pulled out his car keys. "How about we stop for ice cream on the way home?"_

"_I can't, Dad. I have homework. I want to go home and get started on it right away."_

_Nathan's eyes darted to Haley. "She gets that from you!"_

* * *

><p>After the dream, Nathan woke up covered in sweat with a feeling of panic. He sat up and tried to catch his breath. It was the opposite of the feelings he had in the dream. In the dream, he felt like he was on top of the world. He felt an unparalleled sense of achievement and pride. So, why in his waking state did this scare the hell out of him?<p>

Sensing Nathan's distress Haley sat up. She put her hand to the back of his neck. She fingered the damp strands of hair and grew nervous. "Are you okay?"

Nathan began to get out of bed. "I just need a drink of water-and some fresh air. I'll be fine."

Not wanting to hover over him, Haley decided to let him go. If he didn't come right back, she'd head out.

Nathan drank a full glass of water then headed outside. He stood in the outside corridor, leaning on the railings looking out at the pool.

He could piece together reasons for various parts of the dream. Most of it had to do with conversations he had or things that happened that day. The only thing he didn't quite understand was the image of that teenage beauty—his daughter. How could he see someone so clearly that he'd never met—that didn't even exist? Not only that, but even though the dream was short—it couldn't have lasted more than five minutes, there were unexplainable things he knew about his "daughter."

She was intelligent—hoping to be valedictorian.

She was also aiming for a swimming scholarship to an Ivy League school.

She was feisty, headstrong and stubborn.

She thought boys were a distraction, yet she loved the attention they gave her.

She was kind, considerate and had a soft-spot for children.

Most importantly, she was _his child_….and she was _Haley's child_.

This dream was so much to take in. As he stared out at the pool, he could envision this imaginary person swimming. He thought he was going crazy when Haley came out.

Haley moved up behind him and put her hand on the center of his back. He had cooled down a bit, but still felt warm. "Did you have a bad dream?"

Nathan slowly turned to face her. "No. It wasn't bad. It just left me confused."

"You want to talk about it?"

Nathan shook his head. He couldn't talk about this dream with her. "Not yet. I want to figure it out first. What do you know about dreams? You think they mean something?"

"There are lots of theories about dreams. Psychologist and scientists don't agree on one single theory. Some think that it's our brains way of processing through events in our lives. Others think it's a manifestation of our waking concerns. Freudian psychoanalysts all believe dreams are your subconscious at work and they all mean something. Most recent theories suggest they don't and it's just our brain's way of flushing out garbage and the story we create is just our cortex at work…" Haley stopped when she realized she was about to get a little too scientific.

"What do you think?" Nathan asked.

"I think maybe all theories apply and it's up to you to figure it out. In this case though, if this dream got you that upset, then maybe it does mean something." Haley decided to open up a little more to him. "You remember how I told you about I had this reoccurring dream with my dad?"

"Yeah." He remembered her telling him about it when they were trapped in the safe room at the bank.

"Well I don't have that dream anymore. In fact," Haley said putting her hand on his arm. "I haven't since I've been with you—since the night I had a dream where you saved me. You pulled me out of the water to save me from drowning. Now I'm sure that dream meant something."

Nathan swallowed hard. "Like what?"

"I don't have it all figured out, but I'm sure on some level that I felt like you were saving me from the sadness that crept into my heart after my dad died. I also feel safe with you—not just physically, but emotionally. These are important things. I think I was working them out in my dream and it took me some time to get there in my conscious state. Maybe you just need some time to work out yours, too." Haley squeezed his arm. "Are you ready to come back inside?"

"No." His mind was racing now both because of what Haley just told him. That damn dream was already replaying in his mind. "I just want some more fresh air. Go inside. I'll be in a minute."

Haley didn't want to leave him, but understood he needed some time to himself. She settled on giving him a fierce hug and light peck on the cheek before going inside. When she went to walk away, Nathan pulled her back in for another hug. Haley smiled as she nestled herself up against his warm body. "I used to be so intimated by your height. Now, I love it! It makes me feels so secure."

Nathan noticed how she didn't bother to wear heels around him anymore. In a way, that made _him _feel more secure. "I love how little you are."

Haley lifted her head to his. "We're a good fit." She turned her head away and yawned.

Nathan turned her towards the door. "Okay, back to bed."

"Don't stay out here too long. You need your—"

"Rest," Nathan finished. "I know, Hales. I'll be right in."

Once Haley went in, Nathan stayed outside for a few minutes taking in the cool, soft air. He chased after the feelings in his dream, but finally realized the air wasn't helping. It only spoke of things he didn't have, things that might never be given their situation and Haley's feelings about marriage and children.

Nathan went back inside and snuggled up next to Haley. It was the closest he could get to feel those same things from his dream. He wanted to feel more of those feelings; he was just scared to. He also had a hunch it was fear holding back Haley, too. For the time being, he decided to keep this all to himself. He had such little time left with Haley before the big life changes that were on the horizon. He had no idea how they would handle those changes, but Haley was right; there was no point in worrying about it. They were together now and that was all that mattered.

* * *

><p>Preview of next chapter: "Cripple Me" (Elenowen)<p>

AN: I apologize for taking so long to post. I needed take some time to get my story map for the next few chapters down (which I did), then 9x11 threw me for a loop. I was so emotionally charged, I actually wrote an extension of that episode just to get it out of my head. It's 9 pages long (3,000+ words) and takes place in the Scott household. The theme is readjustment and intimacy (in lieu of OOC smut). I'm terrified of posting in on FF since it is the real Naley and I know how fangirls can be. I don't blame them since these fictional characters are very dear to their hearts, but I don't want to offend anyone and don't have much of leg to stand on since these are not my AU characters. I just wrote this for myself with some support from my twitter gals. I'm going to get some feedback before I decide to post it. If I don't, I will offer it up privately to those of you used to my writing style and open to my psychological interpretation of the fallout of season nine events.

So where you surprised by this chapter? I was! I didn't plan the way the call with Lydia went and I didn't plan the dream. It just kind of came out as I was writing it—which changed the story _a little_. I like it though. It still works with everything I had in mind and I didn't have to change too much.

As always, thanks so much for reading and supporting this story! A special thanks to the reader who suggested the song for the next chapter (you know who you are!).


	31. Chapter 31

**Disclaimer #1**: Characters, minor plot points and dialogue belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and _One Tree Hill_ writers.

**Disclaimer #2**: Although my career is in the field of psychology, I have taken a lot of liberties with my story. My background is nothing like Haley's in this story. Her story only has _a little_ basis in reality. I know many people in that field who have given me inspiration for details here and there, but this situation is entirely fictional. Please don't take what you read as fact, especially when it comes to the research discussed and ethics of practicing psychology. As with all my stories, you have to use the suspension of disbelief, just as you do with our favorite tv show. The examples in this story are merely for plot purposes. If you do have questions or concerns about the psychological elements of the story, please feel free to pm me. I'd love to discuss!

AN: Thanks again to the reader who suggested the song for this chapter!

Chapter 31: "Cripple Me" (Elenowen)

Haley was lying in bed at Nathan's furiously typing away on her new laptop when she heard Nathan deeply sigh from beside her. She looked over at him. He was facing away from her so she couldn't read his face. "Am I keeping you up?"

"No, I'm fine," Nathan mumbled as he readjusted his pillow.

"Is it the new bed? Don't tell me you don't like it…"

Nathan turned to his other side to face her. "No, it's fine. I forgot to tell you that. Thanks for picking it out. I like it."

"Well, you still have to go through all those boxes in the guest room. I just cleared it out enough to get the bed moved in. That way, I figured if Lucas and Peyton or Brooke and Julian want to spend the night, they can."

"I don't want them spending the night."

At that point, Haley went back to her work. He had been in an odd mood all night, but she couldn't get him to talk about it. She hoped a good night's sleep might help. When she heard him let out another sigh, she changed her mind. She finished the sentence she was writing, saved her work and shut down the computer.

Nathan watched as she set aside the laptop on the nightstand. "You didn't have—"

"Yes, I did," Haley snapped as she shut off the night lamp. "That was the sixth time you've sighed in the last ten minutes! What is going on with you?"

Nathan sighed again. This time, he caught himself doing it. "I don't know."

Haley stayed sitting upright, unwilling to let this go. She racked her brain trying to think of things that were bothering him. "Did you get a hold of your mom?"

"Yeah. She sounded really happy to hear about training. She's going to come to a preseason game. I told her the dates and she was debating between the one in Texas or the one we have at home."

"Texas?" Haley asked with genuine surprise. "Where in Texas?"

"Dallas." Nathan realized why she was asking. "Where is Honey Grove?"

"Close to Dallas," she answered biting her lip. A million reasons came to mind telling her why she couldn't go. The biggest one was that it wasn't in _his_ best interests. "Are you upset about your mom?"

"No, but I have been thinking a lot about my parents lately," he admitted.

It made sense considering he'd had great tryouts. She felt guilty for not picking up on that. Honestly, sometimes she forgot that his father was in jail. "What have you been thinking?"

"More about ways I'm like them. I know we've talked about that before, but your mom mentioned something to me and it made me think—"

"My mom?" As far as she knew, her mother didn't personally know Dan or Deb. She only knew of them, just as everyone in Tree Hill did.

"She told me how much you were like your dad. It kind of threw me off because I thought you were like your mom."

"I'm my own person-and so are you," Haley said sternly.

"But there are things you got from your parents, Hales. Some of your looks, your personality, your quirks," he said teasingly.

"Nathan, I know I haven't met your parents, but you are nothing—"

"That's not what this is about. Listening to your mom, gave me a _good_ example of how things can turn out. It was something I never thought about before. I just find it kind of interesting. You're one of six; tell me about your brothers and sisters. Are they like you? Are they like your parents?"

Haley grew excited. She was happy to talk about her family in this way and thought it would do him good to hear about them. "No one is quite like me. We're all different, I guess. I used to have a hard time believing Taylor was related to us, but I guess she was like my mom when she was younger. Quinn is even quirkier than me. She's a photographer, just like my Aunt Dee. My mom said she's a free spirit, just like my Grams. Vivian is very conservative, but that may be because she's the oldest girl. She's also stubborn—that's from my mom. As you know, she's also tough since she's a fantastic, single mom of a special needs child. I'm so proud of her!"

"My oldest brother, Todd looks just like my dad, but he's nothing like him. They didn't have the best relationship. He thinks my dad was too hard on him. I don't know. I was young when he moved out. He's an engineer and on his second marriage. He has two girls from his first marriage and just had a son last year with his new wife," she lifted her eyebrows in dissatisfaction, "Vicki."

"You don't like her?" Nathan surmised.

"My dad was upset when Todd got divorced and then married again so quickly. I don't know her that well, but most of family isn't crazy about her. We also kind of think his relationship with Vicki might have started before his marriage ended," Haley said disappointedly.

"Oh." Nathan understood how those implications could be difficult to think about. "What about Paul?"

Haley smiled. "Paul is a goofball. You'd love him! He's a riot. He's laidback, but also passionate about his work. He's into the internet and just started up a social media business. He's a real visionary. I guess he's a mix of my parents." She paused thoughtfully as she arrived at a new conclusion. "You know, I think he got the best from both of them. I bet that's true about you, too. I mean, there must be some good things about your parents?" She asked hopefully. "Don't you have any positive memories of them?"

"When I was kid, I guess, before basketball took over my life. My dad used to read to me as a kid. We went on a few family vacations. Once my dad took me to meet Michael Jordan…He cared about me in his own way. I was like his prized possession and for a long time that felt good. Then, I realized he was controlling me and maybe a little jealous. As for my mom, she loves me and tried, but my dad fucked everything up. He blackmailed her to stay with him and then, when she finally had enough, she fought her own demons. Then she kind of went a little crazy, living out the party life she never had, acting younger than her age. I kind of think she's calming down now; she sounded real good when I talked to her."

"That's good," Haley said optimistically.

They both fell silent as they thought about what they had talked about. Haley was still trying to figure out what was bothering him and how it connected to his conversation with his mother.

"I like how you turned out," Nathan said seriously. "And I had no idea that you were like your dad. I'd like to meet more of your family. I want to see what they're like in person."

Haley blushed with pride. "Okay. I'd love to share them with you. I don't know when. Our schedules are about to get crazy."

Nathan just smiled. He was thrilled at her response. "We'll figure it out."

Haley looked deep in his eyes. "So are you feeling better? Or is there something else?"

There was something else. It was something that had been on the tip of his tongue for the past day. It scared the hell out of him and he had a feeling it would freak her out. So, he just kept it to himself, but it just got worse. Almost every time he looked at her, he found himself analyzing _every little thing_ about her. Then, he immediately reflected upon himself. This cycle was driving him crazy. It was taking him way from focusing on getting ready for training; that made him even more anxious.

"Nathan, what is it?" Haley prodded him. "You know me….You can tell me anything."

"It's about you….and me. Are you sure you want to hear it?"

"I probably should hear it, don't you think?"

Nathan straightened up. "It's something I can't get out of my head and I don't know why. I pretty sure it's going to upset you."

Now, Haley was nervous. Thoughts began racing through her mind, each one getting progressively worse. Now that he was better, he didn't need her around as much. She was invading his personal space. She was too comfortable in his home. She was too needy. They needed to focus more on being friends. He probably wanted to cut things off between them.

Nathan saw her zoning out. "Hales? Should we just forget this?"

Haley summoned her courage. "No. Tell me. I can handle it."

"I can't stop thinking about what…" Nathan trailed off unsure if he could actually verbalize his thoughts.

"What?" Haley asked impatiently. The suspense was killing her.

"A baby," Nathan blurted out. "I can't stop thinking about what it would be like if we had a baby."

Haley was stunned to silence. She looked at him, blinking hard before forcing herself to look away.

Nervous about her reaction, Nathan tried to explain. "I'm not saying I want a baby—that's not it at all. I was just wondering what it would be like—you know like a mixture of you and me. It kind of sounds cool. It was something I never thought about before, but now I'm thinking all of these crazy things. It's crazy, right? Tell me it's crazy."

Haley stayed quiet as she tried to carefully choose her words. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath and then turned to face him. "You want to have kids?"

"No—No—I don't think so. I don't know," he finally admitted. He put his hand to his forehead. "I'm confused. I had a dream about it."

Haley fought hard to separate her personal feelings. Those were not in his best interests. "You would be a good father—"

"I know you think that, Hales. That is not what this is about. This is about _you and me_. It's _you and me _I can't stop thinking about. You and me and what _our child_ would be like…"

Haley went quiet again and looked towards the beach.

"Say something," Nathan pleaded.

"I don't know what to say."

"You think that would be bad?"

Haley turned back to him. In his blue eyes, she could see her future; she just wasn't sure what the future was. "No, Nathan, I don't think that would be bad. Truthfully, I just don't want to think about that. I'm afraid if I do, I'll fall in love with the idea." She looked at him with intense, serious eyes. "I don't want to fall in love with that idea. I don't want to think about having children. And what's the point anyway? You and I are so far from that! We can't even be a real couple!" She said throwing her hands up it the air.

"Not now—"

"Nathan, you should be thinking about _nothing_ but achieving your dream—you are so very close to that! And I need to focus on getting my PhD! Once we have those things—and yes, I know it's going to take me much longer to achieve my dream than you, but that's not my fault—then we can revisit this! And that's _even if_ we're still doing whatever the hell it is we're doing!"

Nathan sat up and faced her. "I am thinking about my career—and yours! I'm not saying 'let's have a baby.' I'm just telling you I have this image of us stuck in my mind that I can't shake."

Haley kept her side of the bed as she stewed. "This image—it's of you and a baby?"

He hesitated thinking of the crystal clear image of his teenage daughter. Then, he remembered another image he conjured in his waking state of Haley cradling a newborn baby girl. "And you."

"I don't want to hold you back, Nathan. If this is what you want, I'm—I'm just not up for it. Marriage and children are not part of my dreams."

"Who said anything about marriage?" Nathan asked surprised.

Haley looked at him with confusion. "You want to have children but you don't want to get married?"

"I never said I wanted children, Haley. I was just questioning what it would be like to have baby with you," Nathan said testily.

"Oh, yeah, that makes sense," Haley said sarcastically.

"Marriage and kids are two different things."

Haley began to get riled up. "So you mean to tell me that you're okay with talking about children, but not about marriage?"

"You want to talk about marriage?" Nathan fired back. "Let's talk about how you said you never wanted to get married!"

"Don't throw that back in my face, Mr. 'I don't want to get married and I don't want to have kids'!"

"Fine. Let's talk about marriage. Fifty percentage of marriages end in divorce."

"Fifty percent don't," Haley pointed out, surprising herself. She remembered the conversation she had with Brooke and was fully aware she was taking the very same approach Brooke had. That conversation had clearly affected her more than she realized.

Nathan's heart began to beat faster. "You want to get married," he said slowly.

"I'm not saying that," Haley said defensively. "And besides, married people don't have to have children."

"What's the point of getting married, then?"

Haley quickly remembered that was the reason his parents got married. He really didn't understand the idea behind marriage. "Commitment is important to having lasting love in a relationship and most of the time people formalize that with marriage. Have you ever heard of Sternberg's Triangular Theory of Love?"

"I don't want to hear about some fucking triangle!" Nathan said furiously "You know what? You were right! This conversation is stupid. You and I are nothing more than friends right now anyway."

Haley glared at him. "Friends with benefits—or not!" She turned her back to him and lied down. She heard him do the same as he thrashed around with his pillow. When he accidently brushed his leg against hers, she exploded. "THIS FUCKING BED IS TOO SMALL!"

"We wouldn't have this problem if you weren't so damn clingy!"

"Nathan," Haley gritted out, "You better shut your damn mouth before you say something you regret."

"Too late; I already did that," he muttered.

Haley heard that comment and understood it perfectly. She wished he'd didn't share his thoughts about children with her. Rationally, Haley knew it was good that he did do that—and that she pushed him. Emotionally—in her case, it was another story. She really didn't want to think about it.

Even though her conscious state didn't want to deal with these intense feelings, her subconscious state did. Her dreams went right to very place she tried so hard to avoid. It got right to the heart of her fears—and right to the core of her heart.

* * *

><p><em>Haley woke up to sound of a baby crying. She looked around and found she was in her old bedroom; the one from her parent's house in Tree Hill. She got out of bed in a frenzied panic. She knew she needed to find the baby. The psychological drive was as strong as her survival needs.<em>

_She ran in and out of every room on the second floor. Each room was exactly as she remembered from her childhood, but there was no one inside—none of her brothers, sisters or her parents. _

_She covered her ears as the cries became piercing screams. She ran towards the source of them. She ended up in her bedroom staring at a baby monitor on her night stand. The red light on the monitor sprang wildly up and down, matching the erratic tempo of her heart. Her heart began to calm down as her eyes fell upon a framed picture of Nathan sitting next to the baby monitor. _

_Haley picked up the frame and ran her fingers over it. She saw it was actually a picture of her and Nathan. They were both dressed up but looked very young—maybe sixteen. She was wearing a simple white dress, wearing wedge shoes and holding flowers. Nathan was wearing a suit and tie. They had linked arms and were smiling for the camera against the back drop of the beach. It looked like it could be a wedding picture. _

_It wasn't possible. It didn't make sense. None of it did. Just then, the crying resumed, reminding Haley she had to find that baby._

_Haley left her room and scurried down the stairs. She found herself in Nathan's house. It was eerily silent and dark. The only sounds were the waves crashing from the ocean. She looked over and saw the doors to the patio were opened. Next, in a moment that temporarily crippled her, she saw Nathan illuminated from the glow of the moon. He was sitting there looking out the open doors to the ocean. She slowly walked over to him._

_Her heart skipped a beat, her shoulders curled up and a soft whimper escaped from her lips when she faced him._

_Nathan was sitting there contentedly with a baby boy on his lap. Nathan and the baby simultaneously turned their and cocked their heads in the same fashion to look at Haley._

"_Oh," Haley said as her heart melted. Her eyes gravitated to the baby boy sucking on his knuckles with drool dripping down his chin. She instinctually reached down to try and wipe it off his face, but Nathan beat her to it._

_Nathan wiped side of the baby's face and kissed his head. He patted to the empty spot beside him. "Come here. Sit with us. We've been waiting for you."_

_Haley gingerly sat down next to them. Her eyes filled with awe as she looked at the baby boy. Her arms shot out towards him and he leaned towards her. She brought him to her chest and took in his sweet scent. "Oh, my boy."_

_When he began fidgeting, she pulled him back and held him up in front of her to get a good look at him. He looked like he was about five months old. He had wisps of light blonde hair across his head and big, bright blue eyes. She smiled up at him and he smiled back. She saw her father's smile, along with Nathan's chin. She brought him down to him and kissed both sides of his chubby cheeks, then set him back down in her lap. He struggled to turn around._

_Nathan reached over and turned him so he was facing the open doors. He reached his arm behind Haley and she automatically leaned forward so he could sneak it in around her. The three of them settled down and looked out at the ocean._

_Haley enjoyed the stillness in the air and the serenity in her heart for as long as he could. She kept one hand around her the baby's stomach, pressing him towards her heart. When she felt the soft traces of Nathan's fingers over her elbow, she looked up at him. They shared a gentle kiss before looking down at the baby._

_The baby was contentedly looking out at the ocean as he sucked on his fist. _

"_I think he likes the beach," Haley whispered as she continued to examine him._

"_Of course he does," Nathan replied assuredly. "He's our son."_

* * *

><p>Haley came out of the dream fast and furiously. She could feel Nathan all over her body. She felt like she was being smothered. She kicked him as hard as she could.<p>

"FUCK!" Nathan yelled out as he flew to his back. His hands flew down to his member and he arched his head back as it throbbed in pain. "Fuck, Haley! What the fuck? Why did you do that?"

"You made me dream of babies!"

"Do you hear yourself right now? Seriously!" Nathan twisted around in agony. "And don't worry by the way…I'm pretty sure you did some serious damage to my equipment. God…Fuck."

As Haley became fully conscious, she realized what she had done. She started to feel horrible. She really hadn't meant to do that. She tried to comfort him, but he pushed her away. "I'm sorry. I didn't know. I didn't mean it."

"You meant it," Nathan growled. "Stay away from me." He turned her back towards her and curled up, still fighting the aching pain in the most sensitive part of his body.

Haley was overcome with emotion as she thought about what had just transpired. What the hell was wrong with her? She'd physically accosted him? And for what? For that dream…that dream that gave her the most incredible feeling? It was a feeling so strong that it terrified her; that was the real issue.

Deep down, she knew exactly what was going on. She was mess. She always had been. She counseled people during the day only to personally unravel during the night. Even worse, she hurt Nathan and not just physically. She knew her reaction earlier hurt him in an entirely different way.

Nathan began to soften when he heard her muffled cries. He knew as upset as she was, she really didn't mean it. It was literally a "knee-jerk" reaction to her dream. It was a reaction he understood perfectly. He turned back around and held is arms open for her. "Come here."

When Haley heard those words, some of the same words from her dream, she broke out into a sob. Unable to move, Nathan crawled over to her and lifted her into his arms. She cried into chest until she became embarrassed at making him wet. She wiped her tears away with the sheets and calmed herself down. "I'm sorry."

"I know. What's going on, Hales? Are we in trouble?"

"It was exactly what I thought would happen. I saw this baby—our son—and I fell in love with him."

"A son? In my dream it was a daughter, but she was teenager."

"I don't want one of those!" Haley scoffed. "Teenage girls and their hormones—no thanks!"

Nathan smiled as he thought about Haley and her sisters. It must have been crazy at times in the James household. "So a son, huh?" He wasn't wild about that. He knew what the father/son dynamic could be like.

"A beautiful son with your eyes," Haley said looking up at him.

"Our daughter was beautiful just like you," Nathan said intently.

Haley rested her head back down by his shoulder. "I'm so scared, Nathan. I'm not ready. I'm not ready for this. I didn't want this. I really didn't. It wasn't supposed to happen."

"Nothing _has happened_, Hales."

"No, _it has_. Don't you see that? We've both changed so much and we can't change back. This is going to happen. Once I saw that baby, I knew."

"Is that what you want? Because you taught me a lot about choices, Hales. We have control over this."

"I don't. I've lost control and that's what terrifies me."

"What do you want, baby?"

Haley put her hand over his shoulder and clung to his body. "I think I want _a baby_…with you."

Nathan was dumbfounded at hearing those words.

Haley was nervous when Nathan was quiet. "Not now….Not anytime soon…I'm not ready. Not now. I'm not ready," she repeated. "Later. At least five years. Maybe more. I have to get my career going. I want to be financially self-sufficient. I want to move back to Tree Hill. But I'm not taking your name. I'm keeping James because I've always dreamed of being Dr. James-"

"Haley! Haley, stop!" Nathan took a deep breath. "I'm not ready for this."

"Okay," Haley said trying to regain her breath. "Okay."

Nathan rubbed Haley's back until she fully calmed down. Once she had, his head started pounding. "You know, all along I feel as we got deeper and deeper into this, you've been, like one step _behind me_ and now—all of sudden—you're sprinting by me so fast, you're like blur. I….I can't even see you. I can't make you out."

"I know. Believe me, I know."

Nathan continued getting himself worked up. "I mean, one minute you don't even want talk about it, the next we're fighting, you're kicking me—"

"—I didn't mean—"

"And the next you're talking about moving back to Tree Hill and getting married. Where the hell did that come from?"

"I don't know!" Haley said with frustration. "I just saw that baby…our baby…It unlocked so many feelings. I told you. I can't control how I feel when I'm with you."

"I guess so…"

"Didn't the same thing happen to you?"

"I just wanted to _talk_ about it. I didn't make up my mind. It was just supposed to be a conversation; not a life plan."

"Well, what did you want to talk about?"

Nathan tried to go back to his earlier thoughts. He couldn't. He couldn't even see his dream again. "I don't want to talk about this anymore You were right. I'm so close to my dream." At the mention of that last word, he felt like he had to clarify that, if only for his own sanity. "Basketball—the N.B.A. is my dream. It always has been."

"I know that hasn't changed."

Nathan had made a conscious decision to backtrack from the entire conversation and that dream. "Let's just forget we ever talked about this."

"We can't forget it. It doesn't work that way."

Nathan was irritated that now _she_ was the one pushing _him_. He could feel his temper returning as he lost control. "Then can we agree not to talk about it for a _really, really, long time_? You said at least five years!"

"That's fine," Haley readily agreed. Putting some distance between her feelings and that dream put her at ease. This was far off into the future anyway.

Nathan still had this sinking feeling in his heart that he couldn't chase away. "What happened to us, Hales?"

"We fell in love. I think this is what happens. People get married. They have babies." Haley could feel his body tense up. "I still don't want to be like everyone else, Nathan. I don't want to jump into this. I want to be sure. I don't want any regrets from either of us. This is why we need to wait and focus on our careers and get to a safe, secure place before we can even discuss this. Neither one of us there right now."

"Clearly," Nathan deeply sighed. Now he doubted he could ever get there. He honestly had never expected Haley to jump so far ahead like that. It was as if she called his bluff-and he totally balked.

"Please don't tell _anyone_ about this conversation. This is another thing that needs to stay between you and me," Haley said sternly.

"I wouldn't do that."

"You especially can't tell my mom," Haley continued. "She _cannot_ know I've been having these thoughts. She just can't."

"I won't tell her. Promise."

Haley felt immensely better. She squeezed him tight and looked at him and smiled. "I love you."

Nathan stoically stared straight ahead. When he felt Haley's eyes burning into him, he realized she was waiting for a response. "I love you, too."

Haley planted her lips on his and began to kiss him. She barely got a response. She slowly pulled away and nestled herself back down on her chest. She was more than disappointed. She could practically see the walls he was putting up. She recognized this as the result of his fear. She wondered how long it would last. They had such little time left.

She hated that in that moment, he had no desire to be intimate with her. Was it just the fear? Or was it something more? Did he not trust her? Would he not want to be with her that way again? Would they go back to being 'just friends?' Should they?

Haley laid there become more despondent with each thought. She could tell Nathan was drifting off to sleep. They were definitely on two different wavelengths these days. It was such a miserable feeling.

"I want a girl," Nathan said groggily.

Haley piped her head up. She tried to figure out if he was talking in his sleep. His eyes were closed, but he had started rubbing her back.

"I'd do better with a girl."

"You didn't see what I saw, Nathan. You would be great with a son."

Nathan's eyes opened into slits as he sleepily looked into Haley's eyes. "A girl," he repeated sleepily.

"You can't pick, Nathan," Haley said with a slight smile.

"I'll make it happen," he said with confidence.

"You know, it is the father who determines the sex of the baby."

Nathan yawned then closed his eyes. "I'll make it happen."

After that, Haley was able to fall asleep, but she was still just as confused. She knew he was as well. She wasn't sure if he would even remember saying that. She went to sleep thinking that maybe a little time apart would do them some good. They needed to get used to that anyway.

* * *

><p>When Haley came out of the bathroom she saw Nathan was outside on the porch. As she opened the door, he walked in the opposite direction. "Hey, Nathan, have you seen my hairbrush?"<p>

Nathan spun around, widened his eyes at her and pointed to the cellphone in his ear. "Nothing, Clay…" He held up a finger for Haley to wait. "….Just a friend….Whatever…It's nothing….Look, I'll see you soon enough…..Later."

Nathan ended his call and walked over to Haley. "What's up?"

"I couldn't find my hairbrush," Haley said distractedly. In the back of her mind she was trying to piece together his conversation. Despite her best efforts, the words "nothing," and "just a friend" stung. "That was Clay?"

"Yeah, he's coming by tomorrow," Nathan said rubbing the side of his face. "So, you know, maybe you could take off for a bit?"

Although Haley had planned on leaving him, it bothered her that he had the same idea. "I was actually going to spend the night at my place tonight."

Nathan arched his eyebrow. "Alone?"

"Yeah. It's not like we need to spend _every_ night together."

Nathan shrugged. "Wouldn't it be better if you spent tomorrow night at your place?"

"You want me to leave after the dinner party?"

"While you were in the shower, I talked to Luke. He and Peyton are going to spend the night."

Haley distinctly remembered him saying he _did not_ want them to stay over. "I thought you didn't want that. Did they ask to?"

"I figured they might as well," Nathan said vaguely. "They love the beach. We're going to make a weekend of it. You can come back Sunday though."

This stung even more. She was certain he'd set this all up just so they wouldn't be alone. "That's fine," Haley said coolly. "I'll spend both nights at my place."

Nathan stopped her as she went to go back inside. "Uh, Hales…When were you planning on cooking?"

"What time are they coming?"

"Around six."

"I'll come over around one."

Nathan gave her an unpleased look. "Clay's going to be here around three. Do you really need that much time?"

"Yes! I'm making homemade sauce for the lasagna!"

"You could come earlier in the morning, then leave….or you could make something else."

"I already bought the stuff! Dammit, Nathan!" Haley tried to figure out a solution, but instead she found another problem. "So you're going to have Clay here, then make him leave? You're not going to ask him to dinner? That's pretty rude."

Nathan hadn't considered that. "I guess he can stay."

"Then what happens to me?" Haley asked in frustration. "Am I not invited anymore? Or do you expect me to come and keep and just keep my mouth shut?"

"You're going to have to meet him sometime. It might as well be tomorrow night."

"I was supposed to meet him at the party! Tomorrow night is supposed to be a relaxing night with friends—I need that, Nathan! I don't want to be uptight and on edge all night!"

"You mean like you are right now?" Nathan spat out.

Haley shot him a nasty look and headed inside. Now there was no chance the dinner party would be the relaxing night she'd looked forward to. She had this sinking feeling it wasn't go to go well at all and before long, he would be away. These changes were happening too fast and she felt it all slipping away right before her very eyes and there didn't seem to be a thing she could do to stop it.

* * *

><p>Preview of next chapter: "Everything Must Find Its Place" (Sleeperstar)<p>

AN: So, a little bit of twist here. Did you expect that from Haley? What about Nathan? Next chapter is the dinner party and a few days after.

Some good news-Marit (mAu0103) and I are going to try the rotating Naley fanfic thing. We are writing extensions of season 9. We plan to bounce back and forth posting new chapters. As of now, we will each post on our own accounts. If you are interested in following along, read _Everything_ on my account, then watch for the follow up on her account. You could always do an author alert for both of us so you don't miss anything. If you get confused, shot us some pm's or tweets. Also, bear w/this as we were inspired by _Diamond Gothic_, but are new to this! Give us some feedback or ideas!

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	32. Chapter 32

**Disclaimer #1**: Characters, minor plot points and dialogue belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and _One Tree Hill_ writers.

**Disclaimer #2**: Although my career is in the field of psychology, I have taken a lot of liberties with my story. My background is nothing like Haley's in this story. Her story only has _a little_ basis in reality. I know many people in that field who have given me inspiration for details here and there, but this situation is entirely fictional. Please don't take what you read as fact, especially when it comes to the research discussed and ethics of practicing psychology. As with all my stories, you have to use the suspension of disbelief, just as you do with our favorite tv show. The examples in this story are merely for plot purposes. If you do have questions or concerns about the psychological elements of the story, please feel free to pm me. I'd love to discuss!

AN: Thanks to **Jen. O** for recommending this song!

Chapter 32: "Everything Must Find Its Place" (Sleeperstar)

Nathan knew Haley had been in pissy mood all day, but he didn't really understand what the big deal was. In the end, she got her way since Clay wasn't there. They were in the midst of a dinner party with only Brooke, Julian, Lucas and Peyton. He'd changed his plans with Clay and met up with him at a bar instead. He'd given her complete rein of his kitchen from early morning on. She had plenty of time to cook her meal and he'd returned just in time to help out. It wasn't his fault everything was already done at that point. He explicitly remembered telling her he would be back to do that.

He hoped she would snap out of it when their guests arrived. Instead, that seemed to make things worse. She'd purposely kept her distance from him and remained very cool. It drove him crazy. Why couldn't she just enjoy the relaxing evening she "needed" so badly?

Now, just about finished with dinner, Nathan could only assume Haley would be leaving shortly. She didn't appear to be enjoying herself and seemed to be itching to get out of there. Truth be told, he wasn't really enjoying himself either, but it wasn't for a lack of trying. The bottle of Jack Daniels Julian brought by was certainly boosting his spirits.

"So, how did things go with Clay?" Lucas asked.

"Good. He gave me a draft of a contract he wants to negotiate with them. I was actually hoping you could look it over this weekend."

"I can look it over, too," Julian offered. "I deal with actor's contracts all of the time. What are you worried about?"

"I want to make sure…." Nathan thought about how to properly voice his concern. "…that they can't kick me off the team….for anything to do with my past."

Everyone looked at Haley. She sheepishly sunk down in her chair, and pretended to be suddenly interested in her meal. She couldn't help but feel like they were suggesting that Nathan's tenuous situation was all her fault. She stabbed angrily at the remaining bite of lasagna with her fork.

Everyone exchanged nervous looks as tension filled the air and an awkward silence fell over the room.

"Julian and Lucas will look it over," Peyton piped in. She looked at Brooke helplessly.

"So, Nathan, I can't believe you weren't hospitalized!" Brooke marveled. "You were out with all those other guys, right? Wonder why you didn't get hit so hard."

Haley watched as a smug smile spread over his face. She could feel her cheeks redden. She knew it was only a matter of time before she exploded.

"Yeah, well, you know I have a great immune system," Nathan started to brag. "Even the doctor—"

"He-He—" Haley slammed her fist on table. "He was so sick! DO NOT let him tell you otherwise! I've never seen someone so sick. He scared me half to death. I thought he might die! In fact he was so dehydrated he could have!" She looked around the table to her captive audience. "He was as white as a ghost—really—that white. He almost passed out. He could barely walk—" She looked frantically at Lucas. "Tell them, Luke. Tell them how scared I was!"

Lucas slightly shrugged his shoulder and nervously looked at his brother. "You were pretty bad, Nate, and you really gave Haley a scare."

Nathan felt guilty. He hadn't meant to bring up this sore subject. He just wasn't thinking clearly. "I was the sickest I'd ever been," he said quietly.

Brooke looked at Haley, then back to Nathan. "And Haley took care of you?"

Nathan looked at Haley, his eyes filled with remorse. She refused to hold his gaze and looked away. "She took real good care of me. She's been a real good friend."

Hearing that last word was the final straw. Haley pushed back her chair and stood up. "I'm not feeling that well. I think I'm going to clean up and head out." She began clearing the area around her plate.

Nathan stood up and went to pick up his plate when Haley swooped in front of him. She grabbed his plate and began making her way around the table stacking up the plates. He followed her around trying to help, as everyone uncomfortably watched. "Let me help."

Haley watched as he took Brooke's plate which still had some food and utensils on it and put Julian's on top of it. She put down her stack and harshly extended her hand towards him. "Oh, just give it to me!"

"I got it," Nathan said trying to block her hand. As he picked up the plates, Brooke's fork fell out from in between the plates and onto her lap.

"Nathan!" Haley snapped. "Get away! Go have another drink, why don't you!"

Nathan threw his hands up in frustration, turned his back to her and twitched around as he tried to control his temper. Eventually, he turned around and saw Haley heading towards the kitchen with an armful of plates. Brooke was standing, using her napkin to try and wipe a stain from her skirt.

Peyton was on her feet clearing the table. She looked around at the guys. "Why don't you guys go and look at that contract. Let us clean up."

"You sure?" Lucas asked.

"Yeah," Peyton said with a serious nod. She finished loading up her arms and joined Haley in the kitchen.

Brooke was right behind her. "Haley, you don't think Nathan has any stain remover, do you?"

"I just bought some. It's in the laundry room." Haley headed into the laundry room and returned with a stain stick. She handed it to a surprised Brooke and headed back to her sink full of dishes.

Brooke began applying the stick to her garment. "So…Haley…what's going on with you and Nate?"

Haley twisted around to face Brooke as she worked on scrubbing the dishes. Peyton was floating in and out of the room adding to her pile. "So you know how I cooked, right? Well, he just expected me to do it, with no consideration or thanks! Then, he goes out and comes home with buzz right before you guys get here—conveniently when I'm finished getting things together. He pretends like he wants to help, but as you can see he's useless! Then he puts on this big show in front you guys and treats me like a piece of crap!"

At this point, Peyton had finished clearing the table. She looked at Brooke and smirked. "Does that answer your question, Brooke?"

"Sure does," Brooke said wryly.

"What does that mean?" Haley asked looking at both of them.

"You two sound like a married couple," Peyton snickered.

The word 'married' set off a sour taste in Haley's mouth.

"You sound like my parents!" Brooke added.

Now, Haley felt nauseous. She turned her attention back to the sink and the dishes.

Peyton looked over her shoulder. "Haley, you do know that Nathan has a dishwasher, right?"

Haley kept vigorously scrubbing the dishes. "I like to wash dishes," she gritted out.

"Haley, what is going on here?" Peyton asked sternly. "Lucas said that you and Nathan were friends and seemed to be fine with that."

Brooke popped up on the other side of her. "You two do not seem fine. You also don't seem like just friends."

"Right now, I'm not even sure we're friends." Haley stopped her scrubbing, closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "I'm not sure what we are." She began to relax when she felt Brooke's hand on her shoulder.

"It's okay, Tutor Girl. We're here for you," Brooke said warmly.

Haley knew it was true. She could feel the concern and support from both sides of her. She wished she could open up to them, but didn't feel she could. So, she let them draw their own interpretations about what was going on.

* * *

><p>Lucas, Julian and Nathan were gathered over by the mini bar as they passed around copies of the contract Clay had drafted.<p>

Lucas handed it back to Julian. "I think you're set. It says nothing about the anger management, so I don't see how they could use that against you."

"What about the morality clause?" Nathan asked. "Did you see that?"

"What about it?" Lucas asked.

Julian scanned over one of the pages. "It looks standard. You have to be a role model. No excessive drinking or partying. No drugs or illegal substances. Keep a low profile. Don't give interviews without consent—Oh wait—this must be what you're talking about," he said running his finger over a few lines. "It explicitly says that any physical altercations on or off of the court are grounds for termination of your contract." He looked up at Nathan. "Sounds pretty vague and harsh. I mean, not even a fine? Or a suspension? They went right to termination?"

"It just means I have to keep my hands to myself," Nathan said dismissively. "I'm not worried about that. What do you think role model means? Isn't that vague? Couldn't that be open to interpretation?"

Lucas shrugged it off. "I think it just means don't go out drunk or do drugs—"

"—Or hire an escort service," Julian joked.

"Wait—does it say anything in there about that kind of stuff?" Nathan asked pointing at the contract.

Julian gave Nathan a disgusted look. "Dude, I was joking. Don't tell me you do that."

Lucas extended his hand towards Julian as he looked skeptically at Nathan. "Let me see that."

Julian handed the contract to Lucas. He turned back to Nathan. "Seriously, Nate. You don't need an escort service—"

Lucas held his hand up for Julian to stop talking. "I think I get it. You're worried about your personal life—like who you date."

"They can't tell you who you can date," Julian said. A second later he rethought that. "Well, maybe stay away from porn stars—or escorts—Wait, so are you worried about that or not?"

"No!" Nathan said emphatically.

Lucas handed the contract to Nathan. "You're fine."

"What do you mean?" Nathan asked.

Lucas gave him knowing look. "You know what I mean. You're fine." He leaned forward and slowly repeated the words. "_You're fine_….You get that? _You_, Nathan."

Nathan understood all too well what that meant. "Yeah," he said dryly.

Julian shook his head. "I'm going to go take a bathroom break so you two don't have to speak in code anymore."

Nathan refilled his drink as Julian left. Before he could take a drink from it, Lucas put his hand over it and pulled it away.

"Talk to me, Nate," Lucas said sternly. "Tell me what's going on with you and Haley."

"It's none of your business."

"I'm just trying to help, man," Lucas said defensively.

"I can tell just by your tone what you're thinking!"

"What's that?"

"That I'm going to fuck up her career!"

"I don't like that Rimkus—"

"You want to help?" Nathan pointed towards his drink. "Give me my drink back!"

Lucas pushed the drink back his way. "You know what I think? I think there's something going on between the two of you and it has nothing to with your contract or Haley's career. It's deeper than that."

"What do you know," Nathan muttered taking a sip of his drink.

"Nothing, because you two don't tell me anything, which is a damn shame! I'm the person closest to both of you! You really think I would try and screw you over? Really Nate? My own brother? My best friend? No! I would try to help you. I still think there's got to be a way around this with Rimkus, but now I'm convinced that's not even the problem. Am I right?"

Nathan couldn't betray Haley's trust. He decided it was best to redirect the conversation as best he could. "Right now, all we can be is friends. I guess it's taking a toll on us. I'm starting to realize that this is the way it's going to be for a while and—it sucks. You're right. Even if this contract makes things okay for me, Haley's career is a different story."

"But what if—"

"Lucas, stop. I don't walk to talk about this. If Haley wants to talk to you about it—fine. Chances are, she's more likely to talk to you about that anyway. I don't think she even wants to look at me."

"Well, why don't you go do something about that?" Lucas challenged him. He pointed towards the hallway. "Go talk to her. Make things right."

"I don't know," Nathan sighed.

Lucas got up. "Tell you what—I just saw Peyton head upstairs. I'm going to go check in with her. It's up to you whether you want to try and get Hales alone. It's all in your hands, little brother."

Nathan stayed for another minute before he decided to go see what was going on in the kitchen. He could hear Brooke's voice as he began to approach.

"Haley, did you reorganize Nathan's cabinets? It reminds me of yours!"

"I had to," Haley replied. "It so much easier this way."

"Exactly how much time do you spend here?" Brooke asked.

Nathan figured that was the perfect time to make his presence known. "Hey, you need any help?"

Haley put the last of the dishes away and slammed the cabinet door shut. "Once again, perfect timing. We're just finished!"

Nathan looked at Brooke helplessly. "Uh, you think I could have a minute with Hales?"

Haley was sick of him acting one way to her in private and another way in front of other people. "No! Whatever you have to say to me, you can say in front of Brooke!"

Brooke nervously shuffled around in her feet.

Nathan wasn't left with much of a choice. He went to his most immediate concern. "Are you really leaving soon?"

"Yes. I'm not feeling well."

"Well, I think you should stay," Nathan said earnestly.

"Haley," Brooke said, "you took care of Nathan while he was sick, why don't you let him take care of you?"

Stung with betrayal, Haley glared at Brooke. "I'm sick in a different way; like sick in the head—from him!" She pointed.

"I give up!" Nathan said exasperated. "Go home then."

"Fine, I will!" Haley began to gather up her purse and keys. She turned to Brooke. "Tell Julian, Peyton and Lucas I say goodbye."

Brooke called after her. "Haley!"

Haley coldly brushed past Nathan towards the foyer. Right when she passed him, she turned back to Brooke. "Oh, and tell Peyton and Lucas that Nathan really isn't good at knowing his limits. He's still not well. He shouldn't have any more to drink because—" she couldn't resist looking at Nathan at this point, "—alcohol dehydrates you—" she spat out. "And he still needs his rest."

Lucas, Peyton and Julian all came down the hallway and stopped in the foyer.

"Haley," Lucas said, "you're not leaving are you?"

"Not before she tells you my bedtime," Nathan glowered. "Go ahead, Haley tell them what time I should go down—just like you've done every other night since I got sick! Every God damn night she's after me!—"

"Nathan!" Haley yelled furiously. "Do you even hear what you're saying? Do you even think? Do you?"

"I know exactly what—"

"Have you been living here?" Brooke asked with honest confusion.

Nathan couldn't believe he'd slipped up like that again. "Look, Brooke, I was sick and I needed help."

"Which you don't need anymore," Haley gladly pointed out.

"You know, I thought it was strange that there were two toothbrushes and a hairbrush in the master bathroom!" Peyton exclaimed.

"Thanks for reminding me about that, Peyton." Haley narrowed her eyes at Nathan. "I should probably go clear that out."

Nathan stepped aside, desperate for the chance to follow her up there so they could finish having this out in private.

When Haley saw Nathan calling her bluff, the anger inside of her began to turn to hurt. "I have to get out of here."

She quickly fled out the door with Brooke coming out after her. She only hesitated a moment before getting in her car. "Brooke, I can't do this. It hurts too much. Let me go. I'll call you later, I promise."

Brooke pointed her finger squarely at her. "If you don't, I'm going to drop in unannounced and the first thing I'm going to do is see if there are two toothbrushes at your place!"

Haley rolled her eyes and fought off a smile. She didn't doubt for a second that Brooke would do something like that.

* * *

><p>The dream started off the same as the last one.<p>

_Nathan nudged the person next to him and pointed down below at the forth lane of the Olympic size swimming pool. "That's my daughter! She might break the state record tonight!"_

"_I think I know that, Nathan."_

_Nathan turned to the voice and found Linda standing next to him. He was taken aback by the sad look in her eye. "Are you okay? Is Matthew okay? Where's Jared?"_

"_They're fine. I just wish Haley could be here," Linda said softly._

_Nathan was confused. Why wouldn't Haley be there? She wouldn't miss this for the world. _

_He started looking around for her. He stopped when he felt a strong hand on his shoulder. When he turned in that direction, he saw it was Whitey._

_Whitey's eyes glistened with tears. "I'm sorry for your loss, Nathan. I'm sure your daughter will be swimming for her mother today."_

_Nathan got a sick feeling in his stomach. "What are you talking about? She's on her way. She's coming from work, but she'll be here any minute."_

"_Oh, Nathan."_

_Nathan turned to his other side. Linda was gone and in her place was Lydia. He looked around little more and spotted Lucas, Peyton, Brooke and Julian. He turned back to his other side and was shocked to find his mother next to Whitey._

"_We're all here for you, Nate," Deb said warmly._

"_Why?" Nathan asked desperately as he looked around. "What happened?"_

_Suddenly a large blinding light filled the room so that Nathan was forced to shield his eyes. As he did, he heard the screeching of brakes, followed by a loud crash. The wind was knocked out of him as his body shook violently. _

_When he stopped shaking, he found everything eerily quiet and still. He tried to open his eyes, but couldn't. Then he realized his eyes were open, but he was in complete darkness. He blinked hard and finally he was able to make out his surroundings. _

_He was in the exact same spot, in the sitting area above the swimming pool. This time, everyone was gone—everyone but the person standing in front of him. She had on her bathing suit and swimming cap. She was dripping wet, but didn't seem to mind. It bothered him. He looked around for a towel, but there was nothing—absolutely nothing in that room with the exception of the two of them. _

_He fought back the lump in his throat and tried to speak to her. No words would come out. _

_Her bright blue eyes bore into his. "Oh Daddy. It's okay."_

_Nathan felt his heart breaking. That word—"Daddy", affected him so deeply. So did the way she was looking at him. He could feel her trying to remain strong and comfort him. It was such a familiar look. It was the same one he got from Haley when he was sick._

"_It wasn't your fault," she continued. _

_His heart clenched with pain, guilt and regret. He reached to grab his daughter and pull her into his arms. Just as he was about to touch her, she disappeared._

_Nathan stumbled, then steadied himself. He looked all around. The light was gone. No one was there. The room was empty, matching the feeling in his heart._

* * *

><p>The first time Nathan had that dream, the night of the dinner party, he was terrified. If Lucas and Peyton hadn't been spending the night at his place, he would have driven over to Haley's place in the middle of the night just to make sure she was okay. Instead, he talked himself down, focusing on the fact that it was just a dream.<p>

Despite the dream, he was also still bitter about how things ended with Haley. Even in the light of day, he didn't want to go running over there like a scared little boy after what had transpired between them. Still, he was haunted. Instead of calling Haley himself, he tried to get Lucas and Peyton to do it. They refused, claiming they were staying out of it. After watching Peyton closely, he realized she had been texting Haley. At least then, he knew she was okay.

The second time Nathan woke up after having that dream, he went crazy with frustration. This could not become a regular occurrence. He figured as long as he wasn't talking to Haley, the dreams would continue. It had only been one day of not speaking, but his pride had got the better of him. He desperately wanted Haley to be the first one to make a move. It was clear that wasn't going to happen and if he wanted to get a good night's sleep, he figured he had to put his pride aside for his own benefit. With Haley at work Monday, he decided to wait it out a little, still hoping she might call him, but if not, he'd call her later that night.

The third time Nathan had that dream, which was during the morning hours the following day, he went back to being terrified along with frenzied. This reoccurring dream meant something. Could it be a premonition? Could Haley really be in danger? In that dream, the screeching brakes warned him of a car accident. What if something happened to her? He wouldn't be able to live with himself.

Nathan didn't go back to sleep after that. Instead, he got up and called Haley. By that point, she was supposed to be at work. He called her on her cellphone, but she didn't pick up so he left a message.

Over the course of the next few hours, he left several messages. Then he drove to her work, hoping to see her car in the parking lot, but it wasn't there. So, he drove to her apartment…but it wasn't there either.

At that point, he parked his car and went inside. He waited and waited and waited. He called and called and called. Finally, after six o'clock, he got back in his car and drove to her work. Her car still wasn't there. Now, he didn't know what the hell to do.

His mind began to go to a dark place. What if something happened to her? Would he know? Would someone call him? In his opinion, he should be one of the first people called. She had said that besides her mother, he was the most important person in her life. But did people know that? Did Lydia know that? He didn't even have her phone number. He doubted she had his either.

Then he thought about Lucas. Well, if Lucas knew that something was up with her, he was sure his brother would call him. So, Nathan decided to go back to her place. He said silent prayers in his head that her car would be there. When it wasn't, his mind when to a darker place. What if Haley was in serious trouble? What if she was lying in a hospital somewhere? What if her car went off the road and she was trapped? What if she was carjacked?

When Nathan heard the familiar chords of "My Girl" he was sure he was imagining it. He froze in place for a few seconds before grasping for his phone. "Hello?"

"Nathan, I'm sorry to bother you but—"

"WHERE ARE YOU?"

"The laundromat was out of quarters and I really needed—"

"You're at the laundromat? At this time of night!"

"No! I'm at your place. I brought my laundry over. I just wanted to do quick wash. I hope you don't mind. I can't seem to find the detergent—"

"You're at my place? My house?"

"Yes—"

"Stay put," Nathan ordered. "Do not go anywhere! Promise me!"

"Okay," Haley said confused. "Is everything okay?"

"It is now," Nathan sighed. He put his car back into drive and began heading towards his place.

* * *

><p>Haley was in the process of loading things from the washer machine to the dryer when Nathan came flying in. "Hey," she said casually, "do you have any dirty clothes? I was going to do one more load."<p>

Nathan set down a new bottle of detergent on top of the ironing board. "You found the detergent?"

"Oh," Haley said embarrassed. She sheepishly looked at the piles of clothes on the floor and in the dryer. Yeah, it really wasn't a "quick wash" and she really didn't have trouble finding some detergent.

"Haley," Nathan said his voice cracking. He took a step closer to her and opened up his arms.

Confused, Haley slipped into his arms. The confusion grew as his arms wrapped around her fiercely. He was hugging her so tight, she didn't dare pull away.

Nathan pressed his head against hers as he held her in his arms. "I was worried about you."

"Huh?" Haley mumbled.

Nathan pulled back so he could look in Haley's face. She was in a pair of shorts, t-shirt, sandals and had her hair down. He quickly noticed something different. He ran his hand down the side of her head and fingered the ends of her hair. "You get a haircut?"

"Just a trim." Haley started to grow self-conscious. She was not prepared for this reaction from him. She'd played out an entirely different scenario in her head.

Nathan's blue eyes beamed with seriousness. He looked her up and down as he ran his hands over her arms. "I feel like I haven't seen you in forever."

Haley had to bit her lip to keep from laughing. It had only been two days! She reached up under his arms and looked up at him. "Did something happen?"

Nathan sighed and shook his head with desperation. "I had a dream something happened to you. Where were you? I've spent all day looking for you!"

Haley was mildly surprised. She knew he'd called, but _all day_ looking for her? "I had to go to Stanford for a meeting with Dr. Greene."

"Why didn't you answer your phone?"

"It died and I left my charger here," Haley explained. "It's charging right now."

"I need you to be careful." Nathan heard the screeching breaks in his head. Overcome with emotion, he pulled Haley close to him again and squeezed her tight. "I don't want to lose you."

Haley wiggled in his arms. "I'm not going anywhere, Nathan!"

Nathan pulled back and lifted her chin towards. "Promise me."

"Promise," Haley said earnestly.

"And you'll be careful?"

"Yes!" Haley impatiently insisted. When she saw Nathan's smoldering eyes, she began to smile. She lifted her head towards him, ready for a fiery kiss. Instead, she got a kiss on the forehead. She was left severely disappointed. She stepped away and turned her attention back to her laundry. "Have you seen my black sweatshirt? You know, the one you gave me but keep stealing back?"

Nathan couldn't stay still. He began to help her pull the remaining items out of the washer machine. He handed them to her to put into the dryer. "I think it's at your place."

"No—Trust me—It's not," Haley said knowingly. She'd gone crazy looking for it. "Are you sure you didn't bring it back here? Could you check?"

Nathan didn't want to leave her side, even just for second, but he had no choice. "I'll be right back," he said resignedly.

Haley set the dryer timer and then began to start another wash. Even though Nathan had shown concern and affection for her, she was still uneasy and had no idea where they stood. They had been in this standoff, not speaking, until she reached her breaking point. She had too much time to think on her long drives and it had led her to this point. She'd made up a lame excuse to come by because she was desperate to see him. She was so relieved to find that he missed her too. It melted away all of her defensives. But now what? Where did they go from here? All she knew was that she was ready to move on.

A minute later Nathan appeared in the doorway with the sweatshirt in his hand. "I guess it was here."

Haley took the sweatshirt from him. She quickly brought it to her face so she could take in his scent. She'd been dying to do that. Unfortunately, it wasn't quite the odor she wanted. Her face scrunched up as she took in the nasty, pungent odor. "Oh, gross! I love you, Nathan, but what did you do with this?"

A crocked smile fell over Nathan's face. "I used it to wipe my sweat, then I left it outside in the sun."

Haley rolled her eyes as she stuffed it into the washer machine. "Nice way to treat my sweatshirt!" She looked back at him and saw that he had a smirk on his face. "What are you smiling at?"

"You love me," Nathan said crossing his arms as he leaned against the frame of the doorway.

A trace of pink crossed Haley's cheeks. "It's not the first time I told you that."

"I know," Nathan grinned. "It's the first time _I really felt it_."

Haley slammed the washer machine door shut and looked at Nathan like he was crazy. "What?"

Nathan had an intense desire to physically touch Haley again. He moved close to her and put his arms around her waist. He ran his bottom lip through his teeth as he tried to think of how he could explain how he was feeling to her.

"I know we've been fighting, Nathan, but how could you not know how I feel about you?" Haley asked quietly.

"It's not about the fighting. It just the way you said that—I understood it. I felt it."

Haley scanned his eyes trying to figure him out. "I've told you that so many times—so many different ways."

"I know, but this was different. I wasn't sick and we weren't emotional or filled with lust. For some reason, it just hit me. It made me feel good."

Haley began to let her guard down. "I came over here so I could see you."

"I was at your place, drove by your work. I must have called a hundred times!"

"Oh," Haley said as she put her arms up and around his neck. "I don't want to fight anymore."

"Me either. Can we just forget about everything? Enjoy what time we have?"

Haley nodded. She rested her head by his shoulder lowered her arms to his waist. "Yes. Let's do that."

Nathan rubbed her back. "Are you going to stay tonight?"

"Do you want me to?"

"Yes, but…" He trailed off with a heavy sigh.

"But what?"

"I feel like a selfish jerk because I really need to focus on training but I can't do that when you're not here, but I also…"

"Don't want to fight. I understand. Let me just be here for you as much as I can."

Nathan felt guilty, but couldn't push her away. He knew she didn't understand what he was like when he was in basketball mode. His mindset was going to totally change. He was going to become consumed by it. He was going to have to distance himself from her to do that. Yet at the same time, he couldn't let her go. His mind would go crazy without her. Worst of all, he couldn't be there for here like she needed him. It was going to be a one-way street. It wasn't fair to her. She was supposed to be there for him, but he couldn't be there for her.

Haley lifted her head and looking into his darkening eyes. "Nathan? Please don't let me push you away."

"What?"

"I'm telling you something I know about myself. Sometimes, I test people. I think I did that with you this weekend. I went running and…I wanted you to chase after me. I couldn't take it when you didn't. Please don't let me do that again. If I start to push you away, push back."

Nathan was touched by the vulnerability of her admission. Now, he knew he couldn't explain his thoughts to her. He didn't have the heart to do it. In that moment, all he could do was give her what she needed. "What we have is worth fighting for."

It was the truth. He was willing to fight for it—just not right now. There would be time for that later. He eyed her lips and began to lower his head toward her. At the last second, he shifted and kissed her cheek instead.

This was the way it had to be—for now. He couldn't get in any deeper than that. He was already in way too deep.

* * *

><p>Preview of next chapter: "Half of My Heart" (John Mayer)<p>

AN: I originally was going to end w/more of a cliffhanger, but I caved and extended it. The end fits more w/the theme of the next chapter, but I didn't want to leave you hanging. I'd love to hear what your thoughts are at this point.

Last night the final episode of OTH aired. I want to share some quick thoughts with you. Feel free to skip over them if you're not interested. I know some people don't watch anymore and others may disagree with my thoughts, but that's okay! This is just the only outlet I have to share my thoughts since I don't have a Facebook, tumbler, pinterest and twitter has that 140 character limit that kills me!

I am grateful for _every_ episode of all nine seasons of _One Tree Hill_. I didn't like every episode or storyline and have a few outstanding gripes, but in the end, I can't fully negate a single episode. Each one had something to offer me. It could have been BJL's amazing talents, JL's hotness or SB's laugh (yes, in that order of importance). It also could have been a song, a quote, or a few seconds of Naley screen time. Any one of those things was enough for me. I am humble enough to accept those things as gifts. This show had such heart and brought so many emotions into my life. I will most definitely miss it, but I keep going back to the idea that we had nine seasons of this show! There have been so many times when I was upset when a show was preemptively cancelled. This was not the case with OTH. Season nine addressed every outstanding issue they could within all practicality (remember writers have so many constraints that tie their hands—money, actors, studios, real-life issues, etc) . The show really came full circle and ended in a way that gave me closure. Lastly, the show gave me a viable outlet to express my creativity in the form of these stories. I am extremely appreciative and grateful for that. My life has dramatically improved with this stress reliever. For now, I plan on continuing to write and finishing out my stories. Of course, I will continue to post as long as there is support and interest.

In case you haven't heard, my latest venture is a rotating Naley fic as an extension of season nine (ala _Diamond Gothic_) with mAu0103. She took the lead and wrote chapter 1 of "Never Let Me Go." It is posted on her account. I plan on posting chapter 2 on my account this weekend! It's challenge for us, as authors, and a way to keep Naley fresh and alive in the absence of seeing them on television. Let's hope the image you create in your mind can be as powerful as what we've seen onscreen. One thing we have going is that we don't have those pesky constraints OTH writers had. The sky is the limit! We'd love if you gave us a try and give us feedback, suggestions and ideas.

One last plug; if you haven't started_ Far Away_, this is great time to do so. The payoffs are finally coming, so jump on in! The chapter I last posted and the next are two of my favorites!

Thanks for reading and reviewing. All of your support matters, especially when hit with the sadness of the show ending and my fears of readers losing interest in these wonderful characters! For that, I am grateful for all of you.


	33. Chapter 33

**Disclaimer #1**: Characters, minor plot points and dialogue belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and _One Tree Hill_ writers.

**Disclaimer #2**: Although my career is in the field of psychology, I have taken a lot of liberties with my story. My background is nothing like Haley's in this story. Her story only has _a little_ basis in reality. I know many people in that field who have given me inspiration for details here and there, but this situation is entirely fictional. Please don't take what you read as fact, especially when it comes to the research discussed and ethics of practicing psychology. As with all my stories, you have to use the suspension of disbelief, just as you do with our favorite tv show. The examples in this story are merely for plot purposes. If you do have questions or concerns about the psychological elements of the story, please feel free to pm me. I'd love to discuss!

Chapter 33: "Half of My Heart" (John Mayer)

It was a nice cool day in late September, when Haley and Nina finally had the chance to take their lunch break together. Although the two women enjoyed each other's company, most of the time their schedules didn't allow this leisure. With Dr. Muller's wife doing a little better, he had been around a little more which eased the burned on everyone. So that day, Nina and Haley took the rare opportunity to step out together for an extended lunch. They took advantage of the weather and dined outside at a nearby trendy restaurant.

The timing of their lunch date couldn't have been better for Haley. She had so much to get off her chest. Although she had promised herself that she wouldn't monopolize the conversation with her issues, Nina seem genuinely interested and wanted to help her. So, Haley kept talking. It felt good speak so freely and uncensored.

"What do you think, Nina?" Haley asked desperately. "I told him I would be there for him so he could focus on training and I basically promised him we wouldn't fight, so I don't want to say anything to him."

"But you're not happy?" Nina asked.

Haley set down her sandwich. "No, I'm not happy, but I'm also a realist. I know that couples aren't happy all of the time. They go through ups and downs. Right now, I feel like I need to be there for him, because he needs me. We just need to get through this."

"What about you, Haley? When does Nathan get to be there for you?"

"He has been," Haley said insistently. "He's been great about my job. He understands that I need to work late and that I take work home—"

"_As he should_," Nina said with equal insistence. "I know you think your job and program make it difficult to have a relationship, but it's really not that bad—especially compared with what you're going to have to deal with! That boy is going to be on the road and busy when he is around. Girls are also going to be lining up to sink their claws into him. It's not going to get any easier, Haley. It's going to get worse. You need to be prepared that 'this' may not be something you just get 'through'. 'This' may be how your relationship with him is going to be."

"What are you saying Nina? You think I should end things with him?"

"Have you talked to him about this? About how you're feeling?" Nina asked.

"I promised him we wouldn't fight," Haley sighed as she played with the straw in her lemonade. "And I don't want to upset him. Training starts in less than a week."

"I don't know, Haley," Nina said disappointedly. "I never thought you would be the type to let a guy run you like that."

Haley was heavily insulted. "What does that mean?"

"He has all of the control right now. Can't you see that? Everything in this relationship is about him—_his_ needs, _his _dreams, _his_ mental state. What are _you_ getting out of this right now? Tell me. Take a second and stop and think about it."

"I don't need much," Haley muttered.

"Haley," Nina said sharply. "You are in the early stages of this relationship. You are setting the tone for the future. Is this what you want? You want to be putting all of your energy into a guy that doesn't have time for you?"

"Since when did you become the psychologist?" Haley spat out.

Nina laughed. "Oh, Haley, you know I'm just looking out for you!"

"I know," Haley reluctantly agreed. "I just don't know what to do. I feel like relationships are never fifty/fifty give and take. I mean, I tell my patients that! Sometimes it's sixty/four and sometimes even ninety/ten. The key is that the pendulum swings back and forth so it's never one-sided. I feel like I need to give him that chance. I need to wait and see what it's like."

"But you still should talk to him. Communication is important to any relationship," Nina said wisely.

Haley stifled her smile. She had no idea that Nina was so perceptive. She had seriously underestimated this woman. "Nina, have you ever thought about pursuing psychology?"

"Eh," Nina shrugged. "I don't have the money to go to school. Now, if you ever opened up your own practice and needed a secretary, I'd be up for that!"

"I would be lucky to have you." Haley smiled warmly at Nina. "Thank you, Nina. You are the only one I can talk to about this—the _only_ one!"

"Way to make a girl feel special!" Nina said wryly.

"I didn't mean it like that!" Haley said embarrassed.

They ladies shared a laugh until Haley's cellphone began vibrating. She held up the flashing screen of Nathan's abs with the word "Sexy" to show Nina.

"This is what I'm dealing with!" She looked down at the phone. "I'm letting it go to voicemail." Haley tried to return her attention back to her meal.

Nina pointed anxiously toward the phone. "No, get it! I want to know what the boy says!"

Haley didn't need much persuasion. She quickly picked up her phone. "What's up?"

"Do you have any pool towels?" Nathan asked.

"What?"

"I'm at your place about to go for a swim. Do you have any clean ones? I only see regular ones."

Haley rolled her eyes, wishing he could see that. "I told you there were towels in the dryer. I asked you to fold them and bring them by my place."

"You did?"

"Yes….So, I guess you'll have to use one of my regular ones."

"That's fine. Hey, how late are you working? Should I wait for you to eat?"

Haley felt her patience being seriously tested. "I shouldn't be that late. If you really wanted to be helpful, you could get dinner going. I have plenty of food there."

"If I have time. I want to go for a swim and then I'm meeting Tony at my place. Depends on what time we wrap up."

"Just let me know. I have to go."

"Okay. I'll get takeout. Bye!"

"Nathan!" Before she could remind him to grab the towels, he had hung up. "This is what I mean!" Haley said with exasperation as she slammed her phone down.

Nina leaned on the table towards her. "What?"

"He's going swimming and didn't even wait for me or ask me! He's just doing his own thing! We're not even talking anymore. We really just sleep together! It's pathetic! I don't get it. It's like he doesn't even care about spending time together."

"You sound like you've been together for years instead of just a few months."

"And by sleeping," Haley clarified, "I mean _sleeping_."

"Oh boy," Nina said. "How often are we talking? On the weekends?"

"Every night," Haley said sullenly. "And don't get me wrong—we cuddle, but that's it. I honestly don't think he's interested in any more than that." She also suspected she knew why—that it was related to those dreams they'd had, but she didn't dare share that with Nina.

"Are you living with him?" Nina asked surprised.

"No. We go back and forth, but mostly stay at his place. That's the only thing he really checks in with me about anymore; where we're sleeping."

"And it's mostly at his place," Nina said with a telling look.

"It's a beach house," Haley said a little defensively. "I love the beach."

"Mmm hmm," Nina nodded with a sideways eye roll. "I still think you need to talk to him. The Haley James I knew would never let herself get wrapped up in a guy."

As Haley thought about it, she knew Nina was right. If she took a long, hard look in the mirror she could only see traces of her former self. "I never wanted to be in a relationship before because I knew how much sacrifice was involved. I know that you have to give up part of yourselves to make it work. I never imagined I would be willing to do that. Now, that I've met Nathan, I finally found someone that's worth it….but you're right. I don't want to give up who I am. I don't want to lose myself and my identity. I guess we need to talk." She bit her lip as she pondered over how to initiate such a serious conversation. "I don't want to blind-side him. If I do that, he may shut down and get defensive." That's what happened last time when she shared her dream with him. "I need to ease him into it."

"You need to seduce him," Nina said with certainty.

Haley nearly spit out her sip of lemonade. "I can't do that!"

"That would wear him right down."

Haley gave Nina a dismissive wave, but she couldn't help thinking it over. Whenever they basked in the afterglow of lovemaking, their defenses were down. Being intimate in that way made them vulnerable. Still, she didn't want to be manipulative like that…Then again, she didn't really have any better ideas.

* * *

><p>Nathan greeted Tony in the foyer of his house. He hesitated before moving any further. "Can I get you a drink?"<p>

"Sure. Some water. I'm laying of the strong stuff until your big party. Man, I bet that's going to be epic!" Tony followed Nathan into the kitchen.

"Yeah, some of the guys from the D-Fenders are coming by. It'll be a nice mix." Nathan opened up his fridge. "So, water?"

Tony pointed over his shoulder at a clear ice-filled pitcher. "What's that?"

Nathan pulled out the pitcher. "Homemade lemonade. It's really good."

"Sounds good to me!"

Nathan took out two glasses and filled them. He handed one to Tony and walked ahead with his, going towards his living room.

Tony took a sip before following behind him. "Damn! Who knew Nathan Scott was the type to make lemonade!"

Nathan ignored that comment. Haley was the one who made the lemonade after a trip to the Farmer's Market. She'd done that for the past three weeks.

He led Tony to the couches by the television.

Tony looked around the wide-open room before taking seat. "Wow. Nice place. This party is definitely gonna raise the roof!"

"Not too much. We only have Sunday to recover. Coaches will kill me if we're all hungover on Monday."

"Nate, you just take care of yourself. You're going to learn fast that every guy is out for themselves. That's one of our problems," Tony said disappointedly.

Nathan set down his lemonade, carefully placing it one of the coasters Haley had spread out, and leaned forward towards Tony. "Level with me, Tony. What am I getting myself into here on this team?"

"Well, personally, between you and me, I think Devon is a big part of the problem. Now, I haven't told anyone else that because we're on the same team, so I feel like I have to have his back, but you know….I'd like to see him gone and you in his place."

"I got the same feeling from the coaches. What about the rest of the team? Am I going to have to work hard to win them over?"

"I'm not sure," Tony answered honestly. "There's always a sense of the new guys needing to earn respect. With you, people know that they're going to be testing you out for Devon's spot, so it's going to create some tension. Some will probably side with Devon just because. On the other hand, people are fed up with him playing selfishly. It could go either way. Just watch your back and know I'll be keeping my eye out too."

"Thanks, man," Nathan said appreciatively. "I'm hoping in the end, everyone wants to win, so as long as we do that, the rest will fall into place."

"I think that's why the coaches want you as point guard. They figure with Nino as shooting guard and you there, we'll have the best team."

"I have to trust they know what they're doing," Nathan said leaning back.

Finished with his lemonade, Tony looked around for a coaster to set his glass down on. He found one next to a magazine. He set down his glass and picked up the magazine. "Damn, Nate. I thought this would have been _Sports Illustrated_!"

Nathan was sidetracked as he pulled out a hair elastic from the back seat cushions. He held it up and shook his head. As neat as Haley was, she had an annoying habit of leaving those hair elastics around everywhere. "Yeah, I just picked that up at the checkout counter," he told Tony as he put the hair elastic on the table.

Tony rolled his eyes and turned the magazine around for him to see. "_People's_ 'Sexiest Man Alive.' Is there something you're not telling me, brother?"

Nathan chuckled. "It's not mine."

"Tell me something I don't know. Neither is that hair elastic and I'm pretty sure you didn't squeeze no lemons either! Now, fess up, Nate. You got a girl?"

Nathan cleared his throat and then looked directly at Tony in the eye. This was his chance to try and sell his story to someone he trusted. "Um, I have a friend. She left some of her stuff over here."

Tony laughed. "Yeah, I bet. Some friend. Wish I had friends like that."

Nathan remained casual. "She was a friend of my brothers, now she's a friend of mine. We just met a few months ago."

Tony set the magazine down and straightened up. "Nate, can I offer you some friendly advice?"

"Okay," Nathan said reluctantly. He had a feeling he wasn't going to like what Tony had to say.

"The game changes thing, man. It changes _everything_. Even playing pro at this level is different from what you've been used to."

"I know that," Nathan said.

"I'm not sure you do. I thought I did, but then…I had this girl and we had some problems, then they just blew up when the season started. And I've seen other guys with the most solid relationships heading into the season and watched them fall apart. The game changes everything," he repeated.

"I told you she was a friend," Nathan repeated unconvincingly.

"Well, I would be sure you two are on the same page before the season starts. I know what happened with your last 'girl—friend'—the witch."

Over the years, Tony met Rachel a few times and hated her with a passion. Tony consistently maintained Nathan was different before he hooked up with Rachel. He joked about Nathan "pre-witch" and "post-witch." In fact, the last time they'd met up, which was shortly before his bar brawl, they'd had a heated conversation about it. Tony had flat-out blamed Rachel for messing with head and impacting his career.

Nathan had been furious. The idea that a girl was affecting his ability to play had been insulting to his ego. Now, with perspective and distance from those days, he could see it for what it was. His anger and insecurities were the issue. Having Rachel in his life was a contributing factor. The best thing he had done was let go of her—for good.

On the other hand, he could see how having Haley in his life, had helped. It wasn't just the therapy either. Having her in his life gave him the focus he needed. He was certain Tony was misreading the situation, but he couldn't blame him. He hadn't met Haley and only knew of Rachel.

"You don't have anything to worry about, Tony," Nathan said sternly.

"I know _I_ don't. What about you? And I'm not just talking about this girl. There are going to be plenty more girls. These girls don't care about any 'friends' you may or may not have. They are just going to want to get into your pants!"

"I'm not like that anymore," Nathan argued.

"Doesn't matter. They go after everyone. And your girl—she's going to see that. That's why I'm giving you this advice."

"Was there some advice thrown in there?" Nathan asked.

"Yeah, _stay away from girls_. Focus on the game. Simple as that," Tony said firmly. "This is the big leagues."

"I don't have much of a choice with training, anyway. Shouldn't be that hard."

"It's after training they start coming around." Tony pointed to the magazine. "And your friend here, I'm guessing she's going to be expecting things from you. You best set her straight now."

"She's not like that. She's…..very independent and her career is very important to her."

"Hmph," Tony scoffed. "You're still the same thick-headed fool you've always been!"

"Yeah, but you have to admit—it got me to the N.B.A., didn't it?" Nathan smirked.

"You ain't there yet…but you're the closest you've ever been." Tony gave him an approving look. "You have to sign that contract."

"My agent drafted one. The organization is insisting on a morality clause. You have one?"

"No!" Tony said insulted. He pointed squarely at him. "You on the other hand, you need one. It'll keep you in line."

Nathan hated being treated like child, especially when he knew he had things under control. "I don't need that. I learned how to deal with my anger and I don't party like I used to."

"You do seem different," Tony said approvingly. "Maybe that girl is good for you."

Nathan couldn't help the brief smile that escaped his lips. He quickly looked away, recovered and looked backed at Tony. "She's not my girl. She's just a friend."

"Whatever—just don't you forget that you have a morality clause—and a witch for an ex-girlfriend."

Nathan wished he could have questioned Tony more about that, but he wanted to get off the topic of Haley. He'd already shared more than he was comfortable with. He decided to direct the conversation back to basketball. "So, I've playing some street ball with some guys from the D-Fenders…."

* * *

><p>Haley stood in the full length mirror that hung on the back of her bathroom door and studied her image from various angles. She figured Nathan would like it. Her curves filled out the purple and gold uniform very nicely. She, on the other hand, wasn't wild about it. She didn't feel comfortable in it; it just wasn't her.<p>

So, why was she doing this? There were a few definite reasons. To make Nathan happy. To bring a smile to his face. To get him in the mood so he'd be willing to talk.

To seduce him? No, she assured herself. It wasn't about that at all.

But he was looking good these days. It was the result of working out and training incessantly. If she didn't know the human body any better, she would have thought he didn't have an ounce of body fat on him. She just wished she could examine that a little further. She wanted to touch his body, and not just simply in the cuddly way. She also wanted him to look at her in that same way. She wanted to see lust, passion and fire in his eyes. She wasn't sure if that was possible anymore. So, yes, this was also part of the reason for this ensemble. It was a test.

Haley had ordered the Laker's Girl outfit for Halloween. Always the type to be prepared, she'd scouted online and placed her order with plenty of time to beat the holiday rush. This way, she was sure to get it and if she needed any alterations, she knew Brooke would help. To her surprise, it fit perfectly. There had been a few types to choose from, another thing that surprised her. She went with a one piece that had thin straps, a low cut top and flowed down into a tight skirt. It was primarily gold but had purple strips down the side and lining the straps. The Laker's logo was perfectly spread out across her chest. Except for the colors, it was kind of cute, just so damn tight! She wasn't comfortable showing off her curves like that.

Nathan had no idea about this 'costume.' It was supposed to be a surprise for Halloween, but she couldn't wait that long. She needed it now. Haley put on her bathrobe and headed into her bedroom.

Nathan didn't look up as she stood at the foot of the bed. He finished up his texting and put his phone aside. "Good. I was waiting up for you. I'm ready to go to sleep now."

Haley stood there staring him down until he finally looked over at her. "I was hoping you could give me your opinion on something."

"Okay. What is it?"

Haley suddenly became flustered. She chewed on her lip and then pointed at his flashing cellphone. "I think you have a message."

"It's probably just your mom." Nathan reached over, picked up his cellphone and read the text message. "Yup. I guess she managed to convince Quinn and Paul to drive her up to my game in Charlotte."

Haley moved and sat down on the bed as he put his phone back down. "You talked to my mom?"

"Once. We've been texting since."

"How did you get her number?"

"From your phone." Nathan pushed up on his elbows. "Look, Haley, I know you can't go because of work, but your mom wanted to go, so she recruited your brother and sister. Then, I'm going to take a ride back with them so I can see Whitey."

Once the shock wore off, Haley realized she was hurt. She clearly wasn't included in these plans. She hated the idea that he was going to be there with _her family_ and going back to _their hometown_—without her.

In a flash, Haley stood up and stripped off the robe.

Now, Nathan was the one in shock. He sat straight up, with wide eyes before settling into his class smirk. "What is this?"

"My Halloween costume—I hope." She twisted around for him. "What do you think? Should I keep it? Do I need to have Brooke do some alterations?"

"Uh-No. Seems to fit pretty good," Nathan gulped. Seeing the shy smile on her face, he cocked his head and held out an arm. "Know what? I think I need a closer look….just to be sure."

Haley let out a self-satisfied smile. She recognized that look in his eyes. She had him. She crawled over to him, and propped herself up on her knees beside him.

Nathan looked her up and down, but resisted the urge to touch her. He had made a conscious decision to _not_ be intimate with Haley. He figured it would just be harder that way when he left. Now, after his conversation with Tony, he was sure that was the right call. The last thing he needed was to lead Haley on. She needed to get used to how basketball changed him and how it was going to change their relationship.

Honestly, he was surprised she'd stuck around like she had. It just proved how strong, self-assured and independent she was. They both went about their business during the day and reconnected at night. It proved how good they were together and that she was just like him. It was more about having someone to come home to do; just knowing that person was there, a person you cared about and that cared about you. It didn't need to be any more than that. This was enough for now. It was an odd place to be in their relationship, half in, half out, but that's where they were and it wasn't going to change anytime soon.

Haley could see the inner battle he was going through in his eyes. She wasn't overly concerned about it. She knew he'd break; he always did. As long as that spark was still there, they were fine. She preferred talking anyway. "Nathan, I feel like things changed the past few weeks. I miss—"

Haley's words were broken off as Nathan swooped in over and pushed her flat on her back.

"I always had a thing for cheerleaders," he breathed huskily into her ear.

Caught off guard, Haley remained still as he kissed her neck, cheek and lips as his body grinded against hers. At first, she got caught up his passion and intensity, but then she came to her senses. She tried to slow things down. She stroked his bare back with her nails and softened their kisses. It didn't work. Instead, Nathan began groping her breasts as he pushed up her uniform.

Haley broke away from their kisses and began pushing at this shoulder. When he stopped moving and gave her a puzzled look, she took the opportunity to forcefully push him on to his back. She swiftly moved on top of him and gave him triumphant smile. Yes, she could take back control anytime she wanted.

Nathan felt his member starting to throb as she slowly slid down over him. He happily let her take the lead, content to let her take charge. It didn't last very long. After a few minutes of gentle kisses and soft touches, she slid down his boxers. She looked at his erection with glee in her eyes. She sat up reached under her uniform and pulled off her panties—but she kept that uniform on. She bunched it up as she moved on top of him, with one leg on either side.

He realized that she was going to fuck him like that-with that cheerleading uniform on.

It wasn't the first time he'd been in this position. In fact, he'd purposely set this up scenario many times. Yes, he had been under many girls in many different cheerleading uniforms.

This was different. He didn't like it so much this time.

He watched as Haley flipped her long hair around and prepared to lower herself over him.

He began to sit up in protest.

Haley tried to push him back down.

Nathan responded by flipping her back over to her side of the bed.

Haley wanted to protest, but she couldn't; not when one of his hands was working its way under her uniform and up her body, as the other began to explore her center.

Nathan was fully recovered. He was back in great shape. He was determined to finally give Haley what she needed; what she deserved.

Haley let him touch her and kiss her any way he pleased. She let him peel off that uniform and get them both completely naked. She let him help her climax with the use of his hand and his mouth. Then, she let him move inside of her and make her lose control of all her senses, all her thoughts. Over and over again.

She was fully aware of what transpired. She let him take charge. She gave up control. She let him do anything he wanted. She was okay with this.

Those thoughts rang hollow in her mind, immediately after he reached his climax. It didn't help that as he tried to recover, he'd moved back over to his side of the bed, without taking her with him like he usually did.

So, they were back to being on separate wavelengths.

Haley tried to talk herself down from the hurt entering her heart. She told herself that this particular act of lovemaking—well, it was sex really—turned out the way it did because of his issues. He needed to take charge because of his illness and long recovery. He needed to do that because the last time they'd made love was when he realized he wasn't back to himself.

This was all fine, but Haley had her needs as well. She needed to do was take back control of their relationship. Once she set her mind to achieve this goal, she started to become turned on again. She looked over at him. She saw the beads of sweat on the sides of his face. She watched as his chest heaved heavily up and down. She moved her eyes down to his member. It wasn't hard, but she could take care of that.

Nathan heart was still beating fast when Haley moved in on top of him. Within seconds, her lips were on his and her hand was on his member. It didn't take long for it to harden right up. A naked Haley was the perfect aphrodisiac his body needed to respond appropriately.

When Haley felt him get hard, she began to shift downward, laying kiss from his lips, down his chest, to the base of his torso. She moved slowly, kissing every crevice, every outline of his muscles and occasionally ran her tongue over them. By the time she reached his member, he was twitching. It felt incredibly good to be able to do that to him.

Haley played with him a little before finally giving him what he was clearly desperately craving. She took him in her mouth, slowly, until she had as much of him as she could.

Nathan could not get over how much pleasure Haley could bring him. He wished he could sing her praises and offer up words of encouragement as she did when the tables were turned, but he couldn't. All he could do was lie back, grasp around for something to hold onto—in this case, her pillow and the sheets. As he began reaching his breaking point, his moans turned into soft cries. He could hear them. He truly sounded like he was crying.

Then, it all stopped.

Haley released him from her mouth and sat up. She took a deep breath and regained her composure. She had to smile as at the look of despair on Nathan's face. He was white as ghost and absolutely speechless.

Haley moved back over him and took his member in her hands and began pumping him up and down.

"Haley…." Nathan said weakly. "I need…I need…Please don't…"

"This is about what I need," Haley said narrowing her eyes at him. Fully hard and wet again, she placed him just outside her hot, wet center. "It's my turn, Nathan."

"You take your turn—"

Haley wasn't interested in hearing him give her permission. She silenced him by taking him in, inch by inch. Before long, she was riding him completely upright as fiercely as she could.

"Fuck," Nathan grunted as he grasped at her hips. "Why the hell haven't we been doing this every night?"

"You like this?" Haley said leaning towards him.

"Fuck, yeah. I love it when you do this. God, take me anytime you want. Seriously. Anytime."

Haley realized having his permission did help. She sat back up, flipped her hair behind her and began to slowly give into her desires. She gave her full attention to the heavy thickness inside of her that filled her out. She allowed herself to feel every bit of that weight inside of her. "You're so hard, Nathan….and so big."

Nathan could never hear those words enough. "Yeah. We're good together." He squeezed her hips and jerked towards her. "Keep going, baby."

"Oh, I am." She was letting go. The ripples were crashing through her body like the endless cycles of waves from the ocean. "Oh, Nathan."

Nathan held back, watching the ecstasy that spread over her face and through her body. This was his greatest pleasure of the evening. When she came down, he could tell she was tired, but also disappointed that he hadn't come. He held his arms out for her. "Haley, come here."

Haley accepted the open invitation of his arms. She craved the strength and comfort they gave her.

Once she was in his arms, Nathan gently turned them both on their sides. He gave her a look filled with sincere concern and love as she looked like she was about to cry. He thumbed her cheek gently with his thumb. "Hey…Hey…I want to make love to you, Haley. I was saving myself for that."

The words held hope and promise for Haley. She responded with delicate kiss as she ran one hand through his hair.

"I love you," Nathan whispered. "I feel like I don't tell you that enough…but I do. I love you so much, Haley James."

Haley saw her opportunity and grabbed for it. "I feel like we're drifting apart. Don't you feel that?"

"I….I don't want…to hurt you," Nathan confessed.

It wasn't what she expected him to say. She thought he was going to say, 'I don't want to lose you.' She let out a heavy sigh of disappointment.

"I was wrong," Nathan declared. "I'm not going to hurt you. We're on the same page. People just don't understand us."

Now, that was what she needed to hear. She quickly thought of Nina and her mother. "No, they don't!"

Happy to have arrived at the same conclusion, they shared a series of deep, open-mouth kisses. After, they spent a minute looking into each other's eyes with smiles.

Nathan played with her fingers, intertwining them through his and then flattening them out as he measure his hand against his. "It' so small," he marveled.

"And you're so big!" She said with suggestive eyes.

Nathan brushed his nose against hers and snuck a kiss in on her cheek. "I love it when you talk like that to me. Will you do that again? When we make love?"

Haley nodded. She knew it was one of the ways she participated in their intimate exchanges. "Make love to me, Nathan Scott."

"Make love to me, Haley James," Nathan countered as he fondled her breasts.

Haley threw one leg around him and pushed her body to his. She could feel two sets of wildly beating hearts but found it impossible to distinguish between hers and his. This was the way it was supposed to be; a true union of the two of them into one. Perhaps, they each had to get some things out of their system to get to this point.

They began to make love, slowly and tenderly. They were patient and considerate. There were equal amounts of touching, kissing and thrusts. There was also some laughing and talking. This was what they had missed.

Now nestled deep inside of her, Nathan pressed his forehead to hers. "I want to do this as much as we can."

"We need this," Haley agreed. She tapped on his lower back. "Nathan do that thing…"

Nathan understood. He moved his hips in a circular fashion, letting her feel just how deep he was inside of her.

"Oh yeah," Haley moaned. "Now—"

Nathan knew what to do next. He closed his eyes, rested his head on the pillow, but moved it up next to hers, so they were touching. He began pushing ever so slightly in and out of her. As the intensity began to build, he reached around for her leg and found she was already about to hook it over him. God, it felt good to be in synch again.

"I love you," Nathan murmured.

"Yes! I love you, too. So much." With the last two words, Haley's entire body shook. She let out a hoarse scream. The orgasm lasted longer than she expected as she felt Nathan letting go. It was a beautiful feeling that left her completely satisfied.

Nathan gently pulled out of and cradled her in his arms. "God, I meant what I said. We need to do more of this, not less."

"Yes," Haley weakly agreed.

"I'm so lucky. I can't believe I found someone like you. I didn't think it was possible."

Haley's heart melted at his words. He really did love her for who she was.

"I mean, God, you don't even need me. I thought it would bother you, but it doesn't."

The warm feeling inside of Haley began slipping away. She studied his face as he pushed away the strands of hair matted to her face.

"I was afraid if I had a girlfriend, that I wouldn't able to give her what she needs. That she would grow attached and would want more of me—and I couldn't do that. It's different with you. You're so strong and independent, you take care of yourself, you have your career. You don't need me constantly reminding how I feel or checking in on you. You just get it. You get me and my dreams and you accept it. God, I love you, Haley James. I love that we can go back and forth. And I really love that at the end of the day we can do this."

Almost every word stung at Haley's heart. She couldn't look at him anymore as she fought back tears. Instead, she buried her face in his chest.

He mistook this for a sign of confirmation. He kissed the top of her head and rubbed her hair. "You and me, Haley. I don't care what anyone says. This is going to work."

Haley chided herself for ignoring her instincts. She had been right earlier; they were on two different wavelengths. Even that was an understatement. It was more like they were on two different planets.

Haley let it go that night. She listened to him babble on about how he'd finally worked out a date to take Matthew out on the boat. He was going to do it Saturday, when Lucas was available. He admitted he knew it was poor timing since it was the day of his big party, but he arranged for Peyton and Brooke to come early to help Haley set up.

The knife kept digging deeper. Now, all of their shared interests were taken away. They hadn't spent any time together on the beach, going back to that weekend when had Peyton and Lucas spent the night. He was going to be in Tree Hill, without her. The worst was his plans with Matthew. She wasn't invited to that either.

As she thought about their intense sexual experiences that evening, she saw them through a different lens. He had taken complete control of her with his words, actions and behaviors. She had been completely submissive. She'd let it happen; all in the name of passion and love.

She let Nathan fall asleep believing his version of their relationship. She didn't have it in her to tell him the truth. Despite it all, she still loved him so very much.

* * *

><p>It was after ten o'clock the next night when Nathan finally gave in and called Haley. All day he had a sinking feeling that things weren't right but avoided facing up to it. Now, as he went to go to sleep, the worry got the best of him. He knew if he went to sleep without talking to her, he would have that damn dream.<p>

To his relief, she answered the phone quickly. "Hello?"

"Hey…Um, when are you coming home?"

"I am home," Haley replied coolly. "I'm in bed."

"Oh," Nathan responding feeling stupid for asking the question that way. "I didn't know you were going to spend the night at your place. Why didn't you tell me?"

"I don't have to tell you everything I'm doing."

Nathan flinched at her sharp tone. "So….You don't want me to come over there?"

"If I wanted you to, I would have asked you. I'm tired and I need to go to sleep."

"Fine."

"Fine."

Nathan hung up the phone. He felt like an idiot for putting himself out there like that. He'd called her, admitted he was waiting for her and then asked to go over there. Yeah, if any of his teammates knew about that, they would say he was whipped. He definitely didn't want that.

He realized his instincts were right. He and Haley shouldn't have been intimate like that. Their relationship had to cool down. For now, they were better off as friends instead of lovers.

* * *

><p>Preview of next song: "Story of Us" (Taylor Swift)<p>

AN: Thanks so much for your patience as you waited for this post. I have this week off, so I _hope_ to do some more writing so you don't have to wait as long for the next post.

The next chapter has a Matthew/Nathan scene and there are also more mentions of the boat trip in the chapter after that. I know there is angst right now, but hopefully the Matthew interaction is something to look forward to! Also, if the angst is too much, head on over to my other stories!

Thank you for reading and reviewing. I appreciate your support, probably more than you know!


	34. Chapter 34

**Disclaimer #1**: Characters, minor plot points and dialogue belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and _One Tree Hill_ writers.

**Disclaimer #2**: Although my career is in the field of psychology, I have taken a lot of liberties with my story. My background is nothing like Haley's in this story. Her story only has _a little_ basis in reality. I know many people in that field who have given me inspiration for details here and there, but this situation is entirely fictional. Please don't take what you read as fact, especially when it comes to the research discussed and ethics of practicing psychology. As with all my stories, you have to use the suspension of disbelief, just as you do with our favorite tv show. The examples in this story are merely for plot purposes. If you do have questions or concerns about the psychological elements of the story, please feel free to **pm me**. I'd love to discuss! If you simply leave me an anonymous review, I can't respond and clear up any confusion, such as the point of view and plot of the story, which you may not be privy too. So please, get in touch **directly**!

AN: Thanks to **Chat1** for help with ideas for Matthew's boating adventure. There is more of that in the next chapter!

Chapter 34: "Story of Us" (Taylor Swift)

After a day on the boat, Nathan was happy to be in charge of Matthew as Jared and Lucas docked and cleaned up the boat. He fully believed he had the easier of the two charges. Sure, it had taken an inordinate amount of time to get off the docks, but Nathan didn't mind. He held Matthew's hand, letting him set the pace. Matthew took his time, counting aloud each wooden plank and making certain his foot touched each one. Meanwhile, Nathan let Jared deal with Lucas' obsessive tendencies about his boat. When he and Matthew reached the parking lot, he took him to the bathroom, picked up some paper and a pen from his car and then camped out with him on a bench overlooking the docks. He figured he still had a solid fifteen minutes before the boat was cleaned to Lucas' satisfaction.

"So," Nathan said casually, "are you sure you don't want to take that life vest off?"

Matthew eyebrows knitted as he crossed his arms protectively over his vest. "No!"

"Okay, okay," Nathan said conceding. He figured it was worth a shot, but he knew that Matthew loved that life vest. Luckily, Lucas didn't seem to mind him taking it home and that was probably going to happen.

Nathan took out the stapled sheets of paper and pen he'd grabbed from his car. He spread out the paper on his lap, prepared to review things just as Haley instructed.

Matthew relaxed his arms and looked over with piqued curiosity. He pointed at the current date, September 24th, on the printed out calendar. "Boat!"

"Yup. Today, we went on the boat." Nathan moved the sheet towards Matthew. He pointed to the following Monday. "Now, you know what happens on the 26th?"

"Twenty-three!" Matthew exclaimed giddily.

"Well, I'm going to have to pick a new number, but that's right, Buddy. My basketball training starts then." Nathan turned to the second piece of paper, which showed all the dates for October. He glided his finger across the squares. "Now, I'm _not_ going to be able to see you this whole month, but," he paused and pointed to Haley's handwriting on every Tuesday and Thursday, "Haley will be visiting you as normal."

Mathew pointed at the first Tuesday in October. "Twelve!"

Nathan understood he was refereeing to Haley. "Yeah, Haley's coming on Tuesday and Thursday," he said pointing to those days.

Matthew frantically pointed at Haley's name. "Twelve! Twelve! Twelve!"

"You want me to write twelve?" Nathan guessed. He leaned over and wrote the number each time under Haley's name.

Matthew clapped and yelped as Nathan filled in the numbers.

Nathan turned to the last printed out page showing the dates for November. Before he could get the main point he'd been gearing up to, Matthew shouted in his ear.

"THIRTY-FIVE!" Matthew thrust his finger on November 1st.

Nathan scratched his head. The date was right; his first home game, but he had no idea what the reference to the number meant. Was that the number Matthew wanted him to pick? He couldn't have that one and he was surprised Matthew didn't know that. "Tony Battle is thirty-five, so I can't have that number."

He began to try and steer the conversation back to his intended focus. "So, this is what I wanted to talk to you about. I want you and your family to come to my game. This will be the next time I'll see you—November 1st. Is that okay, Buddy?"

"Thirty-five!" Matthew repeated and pointed at November 1st.

Nathan looked at Matthew with hopeless confusion. "I'm sorry, Buddy. I don't understand. I just wanted to give you this calendar so you would understand when I'm going to see you again."

Nathan leaned over and wrote "_Nathan's first home game_," just was Haley asked him to do on November 1st. She believed it was important that Matthew hear the words from him and see him write that so he understood how their relationship was going to change with the start of basketball season.

Nathan put his pen aside and began to say the lines he rehearsed in his head. "I'm going to miss you, but I'm going to be working really hard so that I can play at that game—"

Nathan trailed off when he realized that not only was Matthew not listening to him, but was also on the verge of tears. He put his hand on the back of Matthew's neck and the little boy flinched. Nathan brushed it off remembering how Matthew didn't like to be comforted the way most kids did.

He took a deep breath to focus and breakdown the situation. Matthew was upset because he was frustrated. He was frustrated because Nathan couldn't understand what he was trying to say. His heart when out to him. It made Haley's work so personally important to him.

His heart clenched when he thought of his relationship with Haley. Things were not going well on that front either. The only conversation they'd had over the past two days was about this damn calendar. She dropped by his house to explain to him what she wanted him to do. They had put aside their issues so they could focus on Matthew, but that was it. As soon as the conversation was done, she left.

Considering how horrible things were going, he hadn't expected Haley to still help out with his party. Yet he realized she was still planning on doing that when she'd dropped off some party goods while when he was out. Now, after talking to Lucas, he learned Peyton and Brooke had plans to meet her at his place to set up while he was out on the boat.

He didn't understand it. Why was she doing that? Was she just honoring her commitment to help him? Was it an act of friendship? Or did this all connect back to Matthew? Was she simply helping him out because she thought he was helping her out with Matthew?

Well, she was wrong in that case. Spending time with Matthew had become one of the things he did for the pure enjoyment of it. Sure, they day had been fraught with misunderstandings, tantrums, and roadblocks, but none of it outweighed the joy of being with the boy that he adored. Matthew made him laugh and smile in a way no one else could. Spending the day with him, as always, brought Nathan a sense of pride and accomplishment as he worked to understand the perplexing oddities of his behavior. He found the more time he spent with Matthew, the easier it was to figure him out, which left him determined to figure out the meaning behind Matthew's latest coded reference—thirty-five.

"So….thirty-five," Nathan said thoughtfully.

"Thirty-five," Matthew whispered pointing again at November 1st.

"You want to meet Tony Battle?" Nathan asked with a trace of hope.

Matthew scowled, reached over and grabbed Nathan's knee and squeezed it hard. "Twenty-three."

"I don't know what my number is going to be," Nathan mused aloud.

Suddenly, Nathan had an idea. He counted the days in between today's date and November 1st. He quickly found there were more than thirty-five.

Matthew shook his head vehemently. "No! No!"

Jared and Lucas came walking off the pier, each with an armful of gear.

"I'll be another minute, Nate," Jared called over, struggling to keep hold of a basketball that was close to slipping out from under his arm.

Lucas dropped his stuff and walked over to the bench. He wore an anxious expression after looking at his watch. "Nate! Haley's going to kill us! I told her we'd be back two hours ago! We have to get going."

"No! No!" Matthew cried.

"I can't leave yet," Nathan said firmly. He looked down at the calendar sheets, then back at his brother. "I need to leave him on good note and I need to figure this out. This is the last time I'm going to see him for a while."

Lucas sighed and looked around. "Haley is going to kill me."

"No, she won't." Nathan looked at Matthew, who had a tear running down his cheek. He fought off every urge he had to touch him. "She'll understand; trust me, she will."

"Okay. I'll finish loading up," Lucas said. He left the bench to go back and pick up his stuff.

Nathan turned to Matthew. He decided to try a technique he knew Haley was working on with him. "Buddy, I want you to look at me. Can you do that? Look at me?"

Matthew head stayed in place, but his eyes slowly turned towards Nathan.

Nathan understood that even this simple gesture was a significant feat for him. Making eye contact was something Matthew had to be reminded to do, but he was doing it when asked. "Good. I want to understand what thirty-five means to you," he patiently explained. "Can you help me?"

Matthew scanned his eyes, then looked back down at the papers.

Knowing it would put him more at ease, Nathan pulled Matthew onto his lap and secured his arms tightly around him. He could feel the dampness of Matthew's life vest. A few drops of dirty water dripped down onto to Nathan's shorts. None of this fazed Nathan; his shorts were already wet and filthy dirty anyway.

When he felt Matthew relax, he moved his mouth next to his ear. "Explain to me thirty-five."

Matthew looked back at the calendar he was clutching. Nathan loosed his grip so Matthew could move his arms. Matthew turned to the month of October and pointed to Haley's name. He began listing off numbers rapidly. "Twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty, twenty-one, twenty-two, twenty-three, twenty-four, twenty-five, twenty-six, twenty-seven, twenty-eight, twenty-nine, thirty, thirty-one, thirty-two, thirty-three, thirty-four, thirty-five!"

Nathan started to think this over. Matthew started with twelve—Haley. This had to do with her. It also had to do with November 1st. He reached over and filled the page back to November. "You want me to write Haley down here?"

Matthew nodded. "Thirty-five!"

Nathan knew he was on to something. He picked up his pen, and wrote Haley. "Hmmm," said thoughtfully. "Twelve and thirty-five….Hey, Bud, you can't do math can you?"

Matthew started to list the numbers off again, this time under his breath, "Twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen,…."

"And twelve plus twenty-three is thirty-five!" Nathan exclaimed with a satisfied grin. "You can do math, you smart little devil." He put his hand on Matthew's head and brushed his hair. When he realized he'd done that, he was surprised it didn't bother him.

Matthew pointed back at November 1st. "Thirty-five."

"Okay, I get it," Nathan laughed. He picked back up his pen and wrote thirty five on that square. "Thirty-five is Haley and I—together—and yes, we'll both be there at that game. Does that make you happy?"

"Thirty-five," Matthew laughed wildly. "Thirty-five!"

"You like it when Haley and I are together, huh?" Nathan asked wistfully. "Me too, Bud. Me too."

* * *

><p>When Nathan and Lucas arrived back it his place, he knew it was only a matter of minutes before his first guests would arrive. It increased his anxiety about facing Haley. He'd hoped for the chance to smooth things over privately. Once again, he regretted not hashing out their issues when he had the chance. He had a sinking feeling that having their friends around was going to leave to another bad scene, just like with that dinner.<p>

To his surprise, Haley appeared to be in a good mood, as she worked with Peyton and Brooke setting out bowls of pretzels, chips, dips and salsa. She also had various appetizers lined up along the counter, ready to be heated.

"Wow! You went all out," Nathan said as he stepped into the kitchen.

"It was all Haley," Brooke said admirably.

Nathan was startled as Haley made eye contact with him.

"You think this is enough food?" She asked nervously.

Nathan watched as she took the elastic of her hair and readjusted it. He realized how he missed seeing that simple action. He bit the bottom of his lip to prevent himself from blurting out the thoughts racing through his head.

How beautiful she looked in that hot pink sleeveless dress.

How no matter who came to his party, she would be the prettiest girl in the place.

How she was wearing that silly bracelet he'd given her the first day they'd met.

How she had one loose strand he wanted to brush back behind her ear.

How he wanted to know if it was okay to touch her in that way—in any way—tonight.

How stupid he felt for the things he'd said the last time they were together.

How much being way from her was eating him up inside.

How grateful he was that she wasn't punishing him.

How grateful he was for her.

"I told her it's plenty," Peyton said turning around to face him. "Tell her, Nate. Tell her this is more than you ever would have done yourself."

The timer went off on the stove and Haley did an excited hop that put a foolish smile on Nathan's face. God, he loved that woman.

Haley grabbed some oven mitts, put them on, and smiled brightly at Nathan. "Guess what I made!"

"Macaroni and cheese," Nathan said with a giant smirk.

"No!" Haley said disappointedly. She opened up the stove and pulled out a piping hot rectangular dish and held it out towards him. "It's that nacho dip that you like."

"Why?" Nathan asked blankly.

"Because I thought it was your favorite," Haley answered quietly.

"You can be such an ass," Lucas said popping up beside him.

"That's not what I meant," Nathan said helplessly. "I meant why did you go through all that trouble?"

"This is a big night for you," Haley said firmly. "I wanted it to be special."

Nathan was speechless.

"Thank you would be nice," Brooke huffed.

"Jesus Christ," Nathan muttered. No one was giving him a break. Ironically, Haley was the only person being the kind to him.

"How was it? Did you have a good time?" Haley asked as she set down the nacho dip on top of the stove.

Lucas rubbed the temple of his forehead. "I wouldn't exactly—"

"Yeah," Nathan said quickly. "Well, _I_ had a good time," he said pointedly.

Haley could tell from Lucas' reaction that he didn't think things went smoothly. She hadn't expected it would, but it was all relative. Things usually didn't go exactly as planned with children, and that included Matthew. Haley turned to Nathan, trusting his judgment and experience. "What about Matthew?"

"He had a blast! You should have seen him, Hales!—"

"Yes, she should have," Peyton jumped in. "Tell him, Haley!"

Haley looked at Peyton stung with betrayal. "Peyton! I couldn't have gone—"

"You wanted to go! All day all you did was talk about how you wondered how things were going." Peyton glared at both Lucas and Nathan. "And why the hell didn't either one of you text us."

"We couldn't," Lucas said with strong conviction. "Trust me—there was no way—"

Haley put her hands on her hips and narrowed her eyes at Peyton. "I told you that!" She turned her attention back to Lucas and Nathan and took in their dirty and disheveled appearance. "We don't have time for this. You two go shower and change!"

As soon as the boys were gone, Haley began taking out an assortment of fresh vegetables to chop up. First, she tackled the celery. She was ferociously tearing apart the stalks when Brooke started in on her.

"Haley," Brooke said disgustedly, "why are you doing all of this? Especially when Nathan is being such an ass!"

"Brooke, his dream is about to come true! This is it for him! All I'm doing is being a good friend and supporting him. Years from now, I want him to look back at this and remember that! Is that so wrong?"

"So that's all this is? Being a good friend?"

"Trust me; _that's all this is_," Haley said dryly as she began washing down the strips of celery. She hated it, but she had decided to be mature about it. She wanted Nathan to go into training in the best frame of mind. She didn't see a point in opening up to him before that. Besides, she had already sent him a clear message and he received it without any problems. Then, when he was gone, she knew that she would have plenty of time to feel miserable about the situation. For now, she was focused on the party—and that she was truly excited about. She loved playing the part of hostess, even if it was all just pretend. It was a positive way to exert her energy. "I've never thrown a party before either. This is good practice!"

"Why? Are you going to have a party?" Peyton asked curiously.

"Oh, how about a Halloween party? That falls right before Nathan's first home game!" Brooke exclaimed. "You'd have to throw it here though. No one can deny this is the perfect place to host any party."

"I don't know," Haley said hesitantly.

"I'll design you costume," Brooke offered. "One that will really knock Nathan's socks off," she added with a wicked smile.

Haley's cheeks blushed red. "I wouldn't want that and I already have one anyway."

"What is it?" Peyton asked.

"Forget it," Haley muttered, regretted sharing that last piece of information. She took out the cutting board and knife. She pointed over at the stack of carrots and cucumbers. "Anyone feel like helping me?"

Brooke and Peyton shared a smile.

Brooke crossed her arms and shrugged. "Only if you tell us what that costume is."

"That's not fair!" Haley complained.

"What's the big deal?" Peyton asked.

"I feel stupid," Haley said sheepishly, turning her attention back to the celery. "I bought it when….when things were different with Nathan and me."

"Oh," Brooke said understanding.

"Is it a cheerleading costume?" Peyton asked.

"Yes," Haley said slowly looking up. "How did you know?"

"Nathan has a thing for cheerleaders," Brooke said with a significant eye roll. "Well then, you definitely need me to make you a new costume!"

As Brooke and Peyton began to pitch in and help, Haley tried to shift the conversation into a new direction. "Peyton, I still can't picture you as a new cheerleader!"

"She was good, too," Brooke said. "She even looked the part; perky blonde with a lots of pep!"

"Hey, Nathan has his yearbook upstairs in the guestroom closet! Want me to dig it out?" Haley asked.

"Oh no!" Peyton winced.

"Do it! It'll be a good laugh," Brooke insisted. "Go get it and we'll finish up here!"

Happy for a distraction, Haley left the kitchen went upstairs to the guest room. She hadn't looked through his yearbook when she found it. She figured she could immerse herself in it once the party started. It was better than trying to figure out who to talk to and how not to look pathetic and socially awkward.

As soon as she had the yearbook in her hand, she began flipping through it as she headed back downstairs. She found the page with Lucas and Nathan's side-by-side headshots. It brought an immediate smile to her face. The brother's looked so young and handsome, each in their own way. Already familiar with Lucas's picture, her eyes gravitated to Nathan's shot.

"Haley," Nathan said breathlessly as he caught up to Haley.

Haley stopped on the landing halfway down the stairs. She shuddered when she smelled Nathan's musky odor over her shoulder. How was she going to be able to resist him all night? She refocused on her role for the night—supportive friend. She pointed to his picture. "Look, it says Goal: N.B.A."

"Haley, can we talk? Before everyone gets here?"

"Sure," Haley said distractedly as she flipped through the yearbook. "I'm looking for a picture of Peyton in her cheerleading uniform."

Nathan reached over and found her the paged devoted to the cheerleaders. "Can we go upstairs?"

Haley didn't pay attention to his question. She was too busy looking at the pictures, one in particular. It was a blurry, action shot image of a skinny, fiery red-hair jumping into Nathan's arms in center court as confetti floated down around them. She didn't need to read the caption, but couldn't help herself_. _It read: _Cheerleading Co-Captain, Rachel Gatina celebrating the Raven's State Championship with boyfriend and Basketball Co-Captain, Nathan Scott_.

How could she have forgotten that Rachel was a cheerleader? During college, she heard a few stories about Rachel as her relationship with Nathan began to sour. One was about how the beauty tried to steal Brooke's position on the team when she transferred in to Tree Hill High. Apparently, the team had been desperate to fill their roster and Brooke had been forced to tolerate Rachel because of her talent and ability. As the season went on, she managed to direct Brooke's attention away from cheerleading and into designing clothes. Later, Brooke had recognized this as a prime example of Rachel's manipulative streak. Still, the only way the team could function was with Rachel, so Brooke had learned to tolerate her. Eventually, they became friends, but that only lasted a short while. It all came to an end with the revelation of Brooke and Nathan's sex tape.

Yes, Haley now fully understood that Nathan had _a thing_ for cheerleaders. And Rachel—she looked like a drop-dead gorgeous cheerleader. _Hearing_ about her and _seeing _her were two completely different things. She frantically flipped through the pages, stopping on a picture of the Nathan and Rachel, both with beaming smiles as they were crowned "Prom King" and "Prom Queen." The image took up half the page and was accompanied by a large, dramatic scrawl: _Nate, You're lucky you have those blue eyes and such hot body. We've had so many good times—too many to count! I loved screaming your name, both from the sidelines and other places ; ) I'll always be your personal cheerleader, boy toy. _Next to those words was a pair of red-stained lipstick marks, followed by _Rachel, your supermodel_.

Haley wished she never took out the damn yearbook. How could she compete with someone like Rachel?

What was she saying? Was she, Haley James, the type to compete with another girl for a guy? No! She hated girls like that.

Haley looked up at Nathan with a mixture of hurt, embarrassment and shame as she thought about how she dressed up in that uniform for him. How could she have been so stupid? How could she have compromised _who she was_ to satisfy _his sexual fetish_? Nina was right….She was _that girl;_ the girl who let a guy change her, take charge of her and use her for his own needs.

"Haley? Can we go upstairs?"

"Ha!" Haley scoffed. "I bet you'd like to go upstairs wouldn't you? I bet you'd like me to put on that little cheerleading uniform!"

"What?" Nathan asked incredulously.

"You never told me how thin and beautiful Rachel was!" Haley said slamming the yearbook shut.

Nathan looked towards the direction of the front door as he unbuttoned the top button on his shirt collar so he could have some more breathing room. "Shit! She's here?"

"Is she?" Haley asked swinging around wildly to see the door and Nathan. "Have you been talking to her? Have you? Are you getting back together with her?" She eyed his meticulous appearance. His hair was neatly styled, freshly shaven and had on a pair of khaki shorts and blue plaid dress shirt. He had just finished adjusting his shirt collar, so that a hint of his enticing tan skin was peeking out. "Is that why you're fixing yourself up?"

Nathan put his hand on her shoulder with genuine concern. She wasn't making any sense and had the look of a crazy person. "What is going on? Are you okay?"

Haley recoiled. "Don't touch me. In fact, don't talk to me."

She thrust the yearbook into his hands and rushed down the stairs.

Nathan was dumbfounded as he looked over the yearbook. What the hell just happened?

With the doorbell ringing and a stream of guests pouring in, he saw he wasn't going to get the chance anytime soon.

* * *

><p>An hour into the party, Haley was sick of trying to find a comfortable spot to hang out. She knew Nathan was keeping his eye on her and so far, the only thing she's successfully accomplished was ignoring him. It was immature, childish and out of character, but she didn't care. She figured it would have been worse if she left. So she stayed, with something to prove to herself; that she could successfully navigate her way through a party without his help. At first, she let her friends help her out. Julian and Peyton introduced her to some of the friends they invited; mostly business associates in the music and film industry.<p>

After talking to a few of them, she quickly realized there was a misconception. Every person she was introduced seemed to think it was some sort of set up; that she was single and looking to meet someone at this party. Highly uncomfortable, Haley eventually ventured out on her own. After a few drinks, she was more at ease and no longer paying any attention to the constant set of eyes watching her.

* * *

><p>Two hours into the party, Nathan was done letting his pride get the best of him. He was done pretending not to watch Haley's every move and done pretending not to be miserable. The pit in the bottom of his stomach was just getting heavier and heavier.<p>

He searched the room, surprised he'd lost track of her. He left the crowded room and headed to the dining room. He self-consciously ran his ran his hand through his hair and tugged on his belt.

When he saw her perusing the picked over spread of food along the dining table, he headed in her direction. As he got closer, he realized that she had been talking to some guy he'd never seen before. This guy was a little older than him, but polished and smooth with his expensive watch and messy blonde-highlighted hair. By his count was the fourth guy she chatted up that night, but he had a feeling this one could do some serious damage.

Haley set down her beer and pointed at the half-eaten nacho dip she baked. She turned to Reese, Julian's movie director friend. "That is good. You should try some."

Reese pretended to lean over to look at the dip, but instead smirked as he got a glimpse of Haley's cleavage as he looked down her dress.

Nathan grabbed Reese's shoulder and pulled him back. "Can I help you with something?"

"Who the hell are you?"

"Nathan Scott! This is my house," Nathan glowered.

Reese took a step back and extended his hand out. "Nice to meet you, man. This is some house."

Nathan looked in disbelief at guy's hand then up at the arrogant prick's face. "Who the hell are you?"

"His name is Reese," Haley happily interjected. "He's a friend of Julian's. They're working together on major feature film. He's been telling me _all_ about it."

Nathan was unimpressed, but annoyed with Haley's attempt to build him up this character. He crossed his arms and scowled at both of them.

Reese smiled at Haley. "And this is Haley," He said smugly to Nathan. "I was just telling her I could probably get her a small role in my film. She's definitely got the right look."

Nathan stepped aside and tried to take Haley with him, but she refused to move. Luckily, Reese stepped around them, as he went to get a taste of the nacho dip.

"Don't tell me you're falling for his crap," Nathan whispered harshly.

"What do you care? I bet you're just waiting around for Rachel to show up!"

"I have no idea that you're talking about! You're the one that brought her up!"

Reese stepped in between them. "Hey, that is good dip," he said wiping the corner of his mouth a napkin, "you have any more chips?"

Haley let out a satisfied giggle as Nathan looked at the empty bowl next to her dip. "Do you, Nathan?"

Nathan had no idea. As he looked around the table, he saw most of the bowls needed to be refilled. He clearly had been slacking on his hosting duties. He turned to Haley who was still smiling. "You're enjoying this aren't you?"

"I'm having a great time tonight!" Haley turned on her heels and walked out of the living room.

Reese picked up her beer and tried to chase her down.

Once again, Nathan grabbed him by his shoulder and pulled him back. "What do you think you're doing?"

"Chill," Reese said leaning back against the wall. "She left her beer on the table."

"Haley doesn't drink beer."

"Dude, do you know this girl at all? I've been scoping her fine ass out all night. She's on her fourth bottle."

Nathan grabbed the beer from his hand and needled his elbow into Reese's shoulder. "Dude, Haley James is _my girl_. You got that?"

Julian and Lucas appeared on either side of him forcing Nathan to step back.

Nathan turned to Julian. "Get this asswipe out of my face!"

Lucas followed Nathan into the living room, where most of the guests were mingling.

"Nate, what is going on with you?" Lucas asked.

Nathan's eyes bulged out when he saw Haley talking with yet another guy. This guy he knew. It was his former teammate on the D-Fenders—a serious ladies man. "What is she doing?" He turned back to his brother. "Seriously, Luke! Why is she acting like this? This isn't like her at all!"

Lucas followed his gaze to a giggling Haley. "Maybe she's had too much to drink."

"Drink! That's it! I'm getting her a glass of wine." Nathan gave Lucas a push towards Haley. "Get her away from that guy; trust me. He's bad news."

Nathan sprinted over to the mini bar and poured Haley a glass of white wine; a bottle he had tucked away just for her. He figured it would be a good peace offering considering it was her favorite kind.

When Haley saw him coming in her direction, she stepped outside to the patio.

On his way over, Lucas issued him a warning. "Be nice to her."

Behind him, he heard Clay calling his name. "Nathan!"

On a mission to get to her before some other guy got in his way, Nathan finally caught up to Haley, just by the stone terrace that led down to the beach.

He crept behind her as she looked out at the ocean. Seeing her tag sticking out from the top of her dress, he tried to discreetly tuck in back in for her.

Haley jumped when she felt a tickle just below her neck. She flew around so fast, that Nathan jumped back and splashed a few drops of wine on his shirt. She pursed her lips and gave him an unsympathetic look. "Would you just leave me alone?"

Nathan tried to hand her the glass. "I brought you a glass of wine."

"I've been drinking beer."

"You don't like beer."

"Stop trying to tell me what to do! You don't know me like you think you do!"

"You're wrong—"

"Nathan!" Clay shouted as he stepped out onto the patio.

Nathan slid closer to Haley and whispered. "This is Clay, my agent. I want to introduce you to him."

"I bet! So you can protect your ass!"

"Haley, please," Nathan pleaded.

"You and your damn career!"

"I want him to meet you," Nathan said seriously. "Look, I don't what's going on with us right now, but you're a big part of my life and that's not going to change. It's time he meets you."

Haley slightly softened and put on a forced smile as Clay joined them.

Clay, with his messy spikey hair, had on a long set of shorts, a colorful shirt with palm trees and sandals. He was holding a beer and had a goofy smile.

Haley was surprised this was the guy she had been intimidated of meeting. He looked like a frat guy who liked to have a good time. She began to relax and offered him up a true smile and took the wine glass out of Nathan's hand.

Clay and Nathan exchanged a hand shake and greetings. "Hey!"

"Hey! Good to see you, man."

Clay grinned at Haley. "And who is this?"

When Nathan saw the looks Haley and Clay were exchanging, he felt his blood beginning to boil. He knew what that grin meant-and Haley's smile and the way she was batting her eyelashes at him—it was happening again. She was like a guy magnet tonight and loving every minute of it.

Nathan took deep breaths and snapped back into focus when he realized Haley and Clay were waiting on him to offer up introductions. "This is my agent—Clay Evans and this-this is Haley."

"Haley," Clay nodded and smiled. "Sounds familiar."

"She's was Lucas' friend; the one who worked—"

"You're a psychiatrist," Clay said flipping his beer bottle towards her. "The one who hooked Nate up."

"Yup," Haley said simply.

"Psychologist," Nathan corrected him. "She's studying to be a psychologist."

"Yeah," Clay said slowly. He took a long sip of his beer and gave Haley a perplexing looking. "How else do I know you?"

"Maybe from Lucas," Haley said nervously as she pushed into Nathan's side.

Nathan subconsciously moved his hand behind her and gently rubbed her elbow. "She was Lucas's friend growing up, but now…." He trailed off and looked into her eyes.

They shared a poignant look that moved both of them without a single word.

"I know!" Clay said snapping his fingers. "You checked in on Nate when he got sick!"

"That's right," Nathan said putting his arm fully around her. "Hales was a great friend and took good care of me."

Haley inwardly cringed at those words.

"Well, _I _took good care of you," Clay playfully boasted. "After all, you weren't going to the doctor's until I forced you to."

Haley slowly pulled away from Nathan and looked at him with her wide, brown eyes. "What?"

"Nathan flat-out refused to go to the hospital until I told him the Laker's were requiring doctor's clearance," Clay explained. "He didn't have a choice really."

Haley turned Nathan towards her. She looked at him unable to control the tears brimming in her eyes or her quivering lip. "You only went because of your career. It was all about basketball. That was it. That's what this has always been about."

"Haley, no—"

An image flashed before Haley's eyes. Nathan pale, weak and slugged over in her bathtub as she washed him down. "I GAVE YOU A SPONGE BATH! A FUCKING SPONGE BATH!"

Furious, Haley tossed the glass of wine in Nathan's face and handed her empty glass to Clay. "You want to take care of him? He's all yours now!"

She stormed off towards the beach as Nathan wiped his eyes clear.

"Good old, Nathan Scott, still breaking hearts," Clay laughed. "And a hot one at that!"

"It's not like that," Nathan said still wiping his face down. "Haley James is not some girl!"

"Haley James?" Clay asked with realization in his eyes. "From Muller and Rimkus Associates?"

Nathan remained silent. He looked to his left and saw Haley's shadowy outline. To his right, Lucas was shaking his head disappointedly by the sliding doors. Ahead of him was Clay, whose face showed growing anger. He felt like he was being boxed in—just like he was back in that safe room.

"Tell me it's not the same Haley James that signed off on your paperwork!" Clay fumed. He put his hand to the side of his head. "I can see that signature so clearly now. It was Haley James! Nathan! You fucked your psychiatrist! What the fuck were you thinking?"

* * *

><p>Preview of next chapter: "Midnight Starlight" (Jason Walker)<p>

AN: Oh, the angst continues! The next chapter is very heavy. I'm expecting the editing to take a while, so I'm not sure when I'll be able to post. I can give you a **very short sneak peek** that falls in the latter half of the chapter to hold you over. You can also listen to the song—it's a great fit!

Thanks for reading and reviewing. I appreciate your support, especially with the angst. This angst, in my opinion, isn't too bad considering what is ahead. I hope you keep reading and as always, get in touch with me if you'd like to discuss!


	35. Chapter 35

**Disclaimer #1**: Characters, minor plot points and dialogue belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and _One Tree Hill_ writers.

**Disclaimer #2**: Although my career is in the field of psychology, I have taken a lot of liberties with my story. My background is nothing like Haley's in this story. Her story only has _a little_ basis in reality. I know many people in that field who have given me inspiration for details here and there, but this situation is entirely fictional. Please don't take what you read as fact, especially when it comes to the research discussed and ethics of practicing psychology. As with all my stories, you have to use the suspension of disbelief, just as you do with our favorite tv show. The examples in this story are merely for plot purposes. If you do have questions or concerns about the psychological elements of the story, please feel free to **pm me**. I'd love to discuss! If you simply leave me an anonymous review, I can't respond and clear up any confusion, such as the point of view and plot of the story. So please, get in touch **directly**!

AN: Thanks to **Chat1** for ideas, inspiration and feedback!

Chapter 35: "Midnight Starlight" (Jason Walker)

"It's not what you think," Nathan said defensively.

Clay took a step towards Nathan backing him up against the stone terrace. "I can't fucking believe you! I heard you say you were going to try to get her to sign off—if that wasn't bad enough, you had to fuck her, too? You could have _any other girl_, Nate!—"

Nathan threw his arms out. "I don't want any other girl!"

"Bullshit! Don't even try playing me!—"

Lucas wedged his way in between the two men. He threw a napkin at Nathan so he could wipe the wine off his face. "I told you to be nice to her!"

"I didn't do anything!" Nathan looked in the direction Haley stormed off into. It was so dark, he couldn't see her.

"Don't you dare move," Lucas huffed. "You've done enough!"

"Yeah," Clay piped in. "You need to stay away from her!"

Lucas glared at Clay. "Dude, stay out of this and focus on _your job_."

"This is my job!" Clay said insulted. "I need to protect my client—"

"If you want to protect my brother, you draft up an iron clad contract so that this fool," Lucas said pointing to Nathan, "and that fool," he said pointing in the direction of Haley, "can be together!"

"That only solves half of the problem," Nathan said quietly.

"I know," Lucas said with heavy frustration. "But first, we need to deal with this—and whatever the hell else is going on between the two of you, but I'm guessing it's all related anyway."

Not waiting for an answer, Lucas took off down the staircase and went onto the beach. Not too far down, off to the left, he found Haley sitting down, with her knees pressed up against her chest.

Haley knew sooner or later she was going to have to face Nathan. When she heard a person approaching from behind, she hoped it wasn't him. She wasn't ready to face him yet. She cast a look over her shoulder, but had trouble making out the approaching figure. It was too dark and there wasn't enough moonlight, so she gave up. She turned back around and swung her legs to the side. She looked back out at the ocean. It brought no comfort to her. It looked cold and empty and reminded her how lost she felt.

Lucas took a seat next to her. "So what did the asshole do now?" He asked with a sideways glance.

"Nothing new. I just pieced a few things together."

"Like what?"

"Like…." Haley struggled with where to start. "What hurt me the most is that he let me think that he went to the hospital for me, when it was all really just for his career! He _had_ to go! He didn't have a damn choice!"

"Haley, that's Nate….He's so stubborn and doesn't always know what's best for him. Don't take it so personally."

"I can't believe you're defending him!" Haley said in disbelief. "And it _was_ personal; you'll have to trust me on that!"

"What does that mean? What am I missing here? Was it because he came to you when he was sick? Because even that was a big deal. Nathan trusted you—"

"Yeah, because of basketball! It's always about basketball with him, isn't it? In a way, I think he's using me."

"How is he using you?"

"All he's interested from me is keeping his bed warm at night," Haley mumbled.

Lucas leaned back and sighed. "Really?"

Haley finally brought herself to look at him. "I shouldn't have said that; it's not like how it sounds."

"Peyton did notice there were still two toothbrushes in the master bathroom," Lucas said wryly.

Haley pointed at him. "You all need to stop snooping around! This is hard enough as it is."

"Sorry," Lucas said sheepishly.

"And if she bothered to check, she would have seen it hadn't been used in a while!" A few days were a while in her book.

"Then what's the big deal? You're 'just friends', right? But I'm guessing there have been some slip ups? It's nothing to be ashamed about, Hales. Everyone can see you two still love each other."

"Things have just been so crappy lately. I bet you can see that too."

"Have you talked to him about this?"

"He's got basketball—I don't want to get him upset."

"Yeah, because throwing a glass of wine in his face is very supportive friend-like behavior," Lucas chuckled.

Haley gave him a slight smile. "I didn't plan on that."

"That's what happens when you let things build up….but _you know that_. Come on, Hales. You know all of this….and you know Nathan by now. He's just as crazy about you as you are about him. It's just this situation that's causing problems. You're both so concerned for each other, you're not being honest."

"He was honest with me, alright," Haley argued. "He thinks that I'm fine with whatever the hell is going on."

"I have to disagree with you….about a couple of those things. For example, I can tell you for sure that he's worried about your career and is probably holding back for you. He's very protective of you; crazy protective. I picked up on that right away when things started up, but it's even more so now."

"He doesn't tell me that. He hasn't been paying me any attention lately—even as a friend."

"I know you're not going to want to hear this, but he's new to having mature relationships. With that hospital drama, he didn't understand sometimes that there are other people out there that care about him and think about him the way you and I do."

Haley began to fiddle with her hands as she thought this over. None of this was new information; he had told her some of those things, she'd seen it herself, and she'd called him out on it. She had just ignored all of that recently.

"So cut him a little slack," Lucas continued. "I've never seen him work harder than he has with you. Every girl he's been with has chased after him—even Rachel. He's not used to this and guys can be stupid anyway. Sometimes you need to hit us over the head to get us to understand. Be as direct as possible. Look at me…I didn't get how Peyton felt about me for the longest time!"

"Yeah, I tried telling you," Haley nodded.

"Now I'm returning the favor. Talk to the asshole."

"I don't know what to tell him. It's not like it's going to change things anyway. It can't."

"It has to be better than what's going on now. You can't leave things like this. It's not good for you in the long run-and I know there's a big picture here, Hales. Right? You want that?"

Haley bit on her lower lip. She couldn't bring herself to tell Lucas about her dream and new thoughts about the future. "It's different for me than it is for him and…._I hate that_," Haley tersely admitted. "I've changed so much since I met him and I thought he did too, but now I'm beginning to see that's not the case. He's still the same person he was when I met him. I feel so stupid for trying to change him—I broke the cardinal rule of relationships—I tried to change him into something I wanted him to be. Relationships like that never work."

"What did you want him to be?" Lucas asked.

"I don't know," Haley admitted. "Things changed so fast and they keep changing. It wasn't something I was consciously trying to do. I thought I was helping him. I don't want to be the type of girl that needs to fix a guy. I don't want a relationship like that."

"Haley, it's your nature to try and help people. It's who you are. And today," Lucas said leaning back on his elbows to get comfortable, "I spent the day with the guy and I've known him longer. _He has changed_," he said with absolute conviction. "And not just in the way you are talking about. He's starting to become more comfortable in his own skin—and so are you."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean—The way he was with Matthew, Hales. I couldn't get over it."

Haley smiled and also leaned back. "Tell me."

"Well, I know Nathan said Matthew had a blast, but I didn't see that—"

"Nathan knows him," Haley interjected.

"Yeah," Lucas laughed. "I got that; believe me. That kid had no interest in me either! He ignored me. It was like I didn't exist."

"Don't take that personally," Haley said, happy to use those particular words.

"I know, but _he loves_ Nathan and Nathan loves him. He was patient with him and listened and watched him. This is what I mean; this is a new side to him. It something he discovered through you and I know that wasn't intentional."

"No, it wasn't," Haley said thinking of the first time Nathan and Matthew met. She had even tried to make Nathan wait in the car that day! "I could tell from the look on your face there were problems. What happened?"

"Well," Lucas said slowly, "he wasn't interested in fishing—"

"I could have told you that," Haley said. In her opinion, it was easy for anyone to find that sport boring.

"Nathan said that too, but Jared really wanted to try it. So, Nathan kept Matthew entertained. He had his hands full, but didn't seem to mind—"

"He never does," Haley confirmed.

"—So Matthew really wanted to swim—"

"Oh no," Haley said put her hand over half of her face.

"—And even though we kept telling him it wasn't a swimming trip, at one point, he just went for it! Jumped right off the boat into the water!"

Haley had to laugh along with Lucas. "Did he have a life vest on?"

"Oh did he ever! He _loved _that life vest. I had to let him take it home!"

"Yeah, that makes sense." She pictured Matthew, not only loving the security the vest gave him, but also obsessing over the snaps and straps or zippers.

"So Nathan jumped in after Matthew so fast that we didn't know what he was doing. Then—and keep in mind they were both in their clothes, not swimsuits,-he played around with Matthew, like kind of held his hands and twirled him around. Matthew loved it, even I knew that. He was kicking and splashing and screaming. Somehow, Nathan eventually got him back on the boat in one piece. The thing that floored me was that Nathan wasn't even upset. He was so calm about it; like it was no big deal. The kid's father had a tougher time than he did."

"Jared's good with him, but it gets tough sometimes. I think his father and brothers were big fishermen. I bet he wanted to share that with his son. It's tough for parents to let go of things like that but at least they have basketball."

Lucas straightened up and began to speak animatedly. "At first, I thought that was the connection between Nathan and Matthew, but it's really not. I mean they have this thing with numbers—"

"Basketball stats," Haley smiled. Matthew knew all of Nathan's stats as well as those for the Laker's. They liked to go back and forth spouting off those numbers, testing each other.

"Right, but the rest of the time, there wasn't much basketball. Well, except for the basketball Matthew brought on the boat."

Haley burst into laughter. "He brought that?"

"Oh yeah. Then he got upset when we were getting ready to head back, which was strange because I really didn't think he was having a good time, so he chucked it into the water."

"Did Nathan go get that too?"

"His clothes were already wet," Lucas smirked.

Haley sat up and gave him a slight push. "You enjoyed that, didn't you! Poor guy! That's why he was so filthy!"

"Then," Lucas said trying to contain his laughter, "when we started the motor so we could go pick up Nathan, because he had to swim out pretty far to go get the basketball because it kept drifting away—"'

"Oh Luke," Haley laughed as she envisioned the sight in her mind. She saw Nathan, weighed down by his clothes, swimming after a basketball that was carried away by the current.

"Once we did that, Matthew didn't care about the basketball, or Nathan, and just wanted to watch the motor! He was enthralled by the motor! _The motor_, Hales! Not my boat, the ocean, the fish his father caught—he didn't like that really, he clung to Nathan until he threw it back. So in the end, all Matthew wanted to do was swim and watch the motor! Oh—and wear that life vest!"

"He had fun," Haley said assuredly. "He wasn't showing his emotions like you might expect, but I'm sure he did. He also just likes to be around people, just like most kids. It's not the fancy gimmicks or elaborate plans that make the memories. I'm sure when I see Matthew he'll relay the story to me in his own way—including some things about you."

"He didn't pay me any attention, Hales."

"I bet you're wrong," Haley disagreed. "He takes everything in and processes it in his own way. We're working on helping him communicate those thoughts."

"Nathan's good with that-you both are and not just with Matthew. This is what I'm talking about, Hales. You and Nathan are more alike than you realize."

"Because of our careers! Well, I'm not sure any relationship can handle two high-stress careers like ours, Luke. This is part of the problem."

"I wasn't talking about your career. Yeah, it's a problem, but you'll figure it out if you work at it."

"What were you talking about then?" Haley asked quietly.

"I was talking about _you_—the person you are; your heart—and Nathan's. Look- I'm going to use myself as an example," Lucas said nodding. "I've always had trouble opening up to people and letting them in. Brooke clued in to that pretty quickly and she couldn't deal with that. I think that's why it took me so long to get it right with Peyton. But things were different with you. We became friends so fast and I never had that problem with you."

"We were young when we met," Haley shrugged.

"What about with Nathan? I hated him for the longest time. Then we started playing ball together and things changed. For some reason, I ended up letting him in. I let both of you in like I did no one else-and now I can see why. It wasn't me; it was the both of you. You both have big hearts, are forgiving and saw past the walls I put up because of my father. Those are some pretty strong characteristics you both share and it's why I know you two will work this out eventually."

"Can I ask you something?" Haley asked nervously as she played with her bracelet.

"Shoot."

"Do I have to worry about Rachel?"

"No," Lucas said quickly.

"But that's his type. He's attracted—"

"No," Lucas repeated firmly. "Rachel is a non-issue. Don't compare yourself to her for second."

Haley could tell he wasn't going to say much more than that. "Well, I'm not so sure if we can work this out….I….I don't know if I can wait for 'eventually.' I already feel myself pushing away from him to protect myself and I know he's doing the same."

"Which is why you need to talk instead of ignoring it just because of Nathan's career. Careers are such big part of your lives; they're always going to be there so you need to learn to deal with that."

"I know you're right," Haley sighed heavily. "I just wanted him to get that secure spot on the team," she gritted out. "I _really, really_ wanted that for him."

"Why don't you let me worry about that?" Nathan asked from a few steps away.

Haley felt a sharp pain run across her shoulders as her muscles tightened. She put her right hand by a sore spot around the back of her neck and began massaging it.

Nathan could see how stressed Haley was and felt his own body respond similarly. "Hey, Luke, could I have some time alone with Hales?"

Lucas stood up and brushed the sand off his body. "Sure." He took a step closer to Nathan and leaned in. "Just don't screw this up."

Nathan rolled his eyes at his brother, even though Lucas couldn't see him. He sat down next to Haley, unable to let go of his irritation. "I'm so sick of him saying crap like that! It's not easy, you know! I don't set out to cause these problems!"

"He just finished defending you, if that makes any difference," Haley said.

"Really?"

"Really."

"So, did it make a difference?" Nathan asked giving her a cautious side-ways glance.

"Yes," Haley admitted, "but you're right. This is not easy."

"I haven't been helping either. Look Haley, I shouldn't have said those things to the other night. I wasn't thinking. I was just saying things that I wanted to be true."

"You want me to something different than I am—like a cheerleader."

"No! I don't want that at all. I was being a stupid guy with the whole cheerleader thing. I realized that the other night. I want _you_, Haley; the way you are."

"So you want me to be able to take care of myself—to not need you at all. You don't want to spend time together. You really just want to be friends, right? With benefits of course," she said huffily. "That was the deal, I guess. I was stupid to forget that."

"I just freaked out, Haley. I'm scared that I can't give you what you need, so I wanted to be let off the hook. But if I could, I want nothing more than to give you what you deserve."

"That's not true. You want nothing more than to play in the N.B.A."

"That's not fair," Nathan muttered.

"You shouldn't feel bad about that. I've known that all along."

"But you're not happy about it?"

"It's the 'friend's' part I'm not happy about. I hate it, actually. I know I agreed to it, but somewhere along the way, our boundaries got lost and lines blurred."

"They got that way because I wanted them that way," Nathan said reluctantly. "I wanted to have it all. I thought we could."

"Well, when you introduce me as your 'friend'—or even worse, 'Lucas' friend'—_it hurts me_. I wish it didn't, but it does. I don't want to be just your friend. I don't think I can be."

"I feel like we're having that same conversation we had before, but this time….it's different." Nathan turned to face Haley, getting as close to her as he could without touching her. "We're different than the last time. You're not just my friend, Haley. You're my _best friend_."

Haley felt the corner of her eyes begin to moisten with those words. She heard her mother's words in her head, telling her how lucky she was that she married her best friend. Overcome with emotions, Haley kept quiet, captivated by whatever else Nathan had to say.

Nathan knew he had Haley's rapt attention. He looked around and picked up a seashell and began running it through his hands. Now, he definitely didn't want to screw this up. "I know Lucas is your best friend; I get that….but….you're _it _for me; in more ways than one."

Haley let out a slight gasp, but was grateful he didn't seem to hear it.

"I know you're upset because I let you believe that you convinced me to go to the hospital. I shouldn't have done that. I wanted to make you feel good, I guess. I still need you to know how hard it was for me to let you see me like that. You held me when I puked, Haley. Think about that," he said disgustedly. "I do—a lot. It was embarrassing, but there is no one else I would trust like that."

"But it wasn't about us. It was about basketball. That's the only thing you were thinking about."

"But basketball doesn't mean as much without you."

"Nathan, you don't have to say things like that. I just lost my temper because I hated that Clay knew something like that about you that I didn't. I'm not looking for you to change who are because of me."

"Well, it's too late for that—and neither one of us set out for that to happen. I remember reading in Lucas' book about how he realized Peyton was the one for him when he thought about the person he wanted standing next to him when his dreams came true. I get that now. I understand how important that is….and I want you….and it makes me feel selfish because I know that may not be what's best for you."

"But being friends—or whatever has been going on the past few weeks—that's not what's best for me. I do need you in my life, Nathan." Haley stopped and pressed her eyes shut, fighting back tears as she sucked in a deep breath. She felt Nathan's hand on her back and found it easier to breathe. She opened her eyes and a few tears spilled out onto her cheeks. "I need to feel the things you make me feel. And you're wrong. Lucas was my best friend for a long time, but friendships change. I'll always be close to him, but he has Peyton now….and now I have you," she choked out.

Nathan heard the words she was saying, but wouldn't let them sink in. He fought to keep his emotions at bay until he saw where she was going with this because he still felt that tension in the air. "But…" He prodded her.

"But I need to take back control. I need boundaries. That's how I work. I don't like not understanding what's going on between us."

"Back to the disclaimers," Nathan joked.

"Nathan!" Haley gave him a playful push lightening the tension.

"Seriously, I'm all ears. You tell me what you need. I meant what I said before. I don't want to hurt you."

"Okay. I need some time to think about it."

Nathan finally put down the seashell, wanting to address one last point. "I need to clear up one thing. The only reason why I said 'Lucas' friend' is because that's how Clay first heard of you. Lucas mentioned you in front of him when he suggested I set something up with you for those sessions."

"I can't imagine what he thinks now." Haley turned and looked at him for a few seconds. Even in darkness, she could make out his bright blue eyes. They reminded her of the ocean and suddenly the smells, sounds, and sights of the beach invaded her senses. She smelled the salt in the air and heard the waves crashing in front of her and saw the dim reflection of the moonlight bouncing off of the water. She looked up and saw the stars twinkling mischievously up above. She knew those things had been there all along, but she had blocked them out. Leave it Nathan, to bring them to her consciousness. It was a reoccurring theme in their relationship. "I'm sorry for throwing that wine in your face. I'm also sorry for any problems I caused with Clay."

"He'll be fine. If anything, it's good he knows because he can watch out for me, especially when it comes to drafting up a contract. He's a good guy, Hales. I can trust him."

"I guess that's his job."

"It doesn't help your situation. In the end, I know this is harder on your career than mine."

"Which is why you've been pushing me away-In your own crazy way, I know you were looking out for me, but it didn't work. Partly because I was looking out for you! We can't do that anymore. We need to look out for ourselves and communicate what we need and where our limits are. So," Haley said taking a deep breath, "with you about to take this big step forward, what do you need from me?"

"The only thing I need from you right now is to know that you're there."

"That's it?" Haley questioned him.

"And it would be nice to know that you'll watch over my place while I'm gone."

Haley smiled knowing this was also for her benefit. "I could do that. Tell Alana she doesn't have to come by."

"Oh, no. She needs her paycheck. So feel free to leave the place as dirty as you want!"

"I'm not going to stay here without you, Nathan."

"Well, you could. I wouldn't mind."

"I'm not going to do that," Haley said with certainty. "It's not right."

"There's your first disclaimer," he teased. "No staying at my house, when I'm not here."

"It's more like a rule," Haley countered. "Actually," she said hesitantly as his words sunk in, "I shouldn't stay at your house when you are here. In fact," she said looking around, "I think I'm going to head home soon."

Nathan looked away to hide his disappointment.

Haley put her arm around his shoulder. She couldn't leave him like that. "But we could talk for a little longer."

Nathan shrugged. "About what?"

"About basketball. Are you nervous? Excited? Anxious? What did Tony have to say? Is he here?"

"Not yet. He's coming later…"

Nathan snapped out of his mood as he started to tell Haley about things he heard about training. Over the course of the next hour, the conversation shifted into Nathan's deep fears, as well as genuine excitement about the days ahead. Haley patiently listened and offered as much encouragement and support as she could. Eventually, there were interrupted by Brooke and Peyton. Both ladies wandered out, concerned about Haley. At that time, Haley took the initiative to end her conversation with Nathan. The four of them headed back inside to the party, which had doubled in size. It was now jammed packed, with guests hanging out on the beach, as well as inside the house.

Intimidated by the changes in the atmosphere, Haley decided it was time to leave. She had a lot to think about anyway. She made sure she said her proper goodbyes to her core friends and then pulled Nathan aside. She kept it brief, promising she'd talk to him the next day before he left. Even then, she could still tell he was disappointed.

As she drove away, she felt her heart breaking a little and wasn't sure why. They had an important, much-needed honest heart-to-heart. It ended on good terms. She was left in control of the direction things were headed. He seemed ready for training.

Yet by the time she was home, she was crying. After she put her car into park, she launched into a full-out sob. It helped a little, but not much. She gathered herself, went inside to her apartment and broke out a bottle of Peach Schnapps, hoping that would take the edge off. She sat down on the couch, kicked back, and began to drink her sorrows away, unsure of exactly what they were, but sure they would still be there in the morning.

* * *

><p>Nathan was startled when he walked into Haley's apartment and found her sitting on the couch in the dark.<p>

Haley was equally as started to see him. She set down her glass and subconsciously ran her hand over her mouth, as if trying to hide the fact she'd been drinking. "Wh-what are you doing here?"

Nathan set down his car keys on the table and then remained standing, still unsure if he was welcome. "I remembered how you said that you like to test people and you made me promise not to let you push me away. So I'm here. It was a test, right?" He asked helplessly.

Feeling nauseous, Haley leaned down and rested her head on her hand. When she sensed Nathan sitting down next to her, she shot to her feet, causing him to do the same. "What are you doing here?" She repeated, this time frantically.

Nathan was at loss. "I told you—"

The pounding in the middle of her forehead grew more intense. "What do you want from me? What I am supposed to do?"

"Just let me be here with you?" Nathan asked, still unsure of the right answer was to this impossible question.

Haley put one of her hands on each of his arms. "Okay, you passed the test." She tried to push him towards the doorway, but he wouldn't budge. "Now, you can go. Go back to the party."

Nathan lifted his arms to break free from her grip. He held them up so she couldn't get a hold of them again. "I'm not going anywhere."

Haley shifted her hands to his waist and tried to turn him around to face the door. "You have people at your house! You need to go back."

Nathan stood there firmly. "This is where I want to be." When she pushed her full weight into him, he finally had to respond. He brought his hands down and clasped them over her wrists and held them tightly. "Stop pushing me away! I already told you. I'm not going anywhere."

Haley stopped pushing, but kept her arms up, still not ready to give in. "But why?" She asked her voice shaking.

"Because you sat there on that beach and listened to me for over an hour talk about basketball and not once did I ask about what's going on with you! Because I when I stop and think about it, I know you better than you think! I know that you always put other people before yourself, so you're probably not going to tell me what you need, unless I push you! Because I hate the word 'friends' too. Because when you left tonight, I couldn't think about anything else other than being with you. Because when you left tonight," Nathan said as he lowered his voice and slowed down, "I realized I forgot to tell you the most important thing."

During his tirade, Haley had given up all resistance. She let her hands fall to her side. She looked down and noticed his hands had shifted from her wrists to her fingers.

Nathan squeezed her fingers and she looked up at him. "I forgot to tell you how much I love you."

"I know that."

"But I didn't tell you and you need to hear that, especially as you're about to decide where we're going to go from here."

"I just don't know what to do, Nathan, and it's slowly killing me. I think this is going to keep getting harder and harder. When my data comes in, I'm going to isolate myself; it's what I do. I need that time to myself to focus on my work, then to write…."

"So you'll tell me that. We'll deal with that."

"Depending on how long it takes to write my dissertation, it could be another year….maybe two if the board rejects it…"

"I can be patient…"

"It's so much to ask," Haley said despondently as she let her hands slip away from his.

Nathan secured his hands around her back. "Let me decide that. I don't think it is. The next two years are big for me too. It may not be as hard as you think."

"What if it is?" Haley pressed him. "Can you handle it when I need to put everything I have into my career?"

"I'm not going anywhere, so I guess I'll have to," Nathan said with a reassuring smile.

Haley leaned into him and rested her head on his chest. She slid her hands and his back and tugged at him. "I think this is what I needed to hear."

Nathan was surprised he had unwittingly given her what she needed. It was effortless and honest.

Feeling lighter know that the dull aching in her heart and pounding in her head were fading, Haley pulled away and gave Nathan a genuine smile. "Really, you can go now."

"Please don't make me say it again," Nathan whined.

"You have a house full of people! How can you leave them?"

Nathan sat down on her couch. "Already did. This is where I want to be. Now sit your ass down here, share some that Schnapps with me, and tell me about what's been going on at the office."

Haley set to the kitchen to get Nathan a glass. As she returned to the couch, she tried to hide her excitement at this surprising turn of events. The thought of Nathan giving her all of his attention made her heart race with giddiness. She sat down next to him and handed him the glass. "Well, Dr. Muller has been around more, which is why I'm not so worried about Dr. Rimkus."

"This is good news. When did this happen?" Nathan asked upset with himself for not keeping up with things like this.

"Two weeks—" Haley was interrupted by the ringing of her phone. She grabbed it off the table and shot Nathan a nervous look. "It's Lucas. What do I do?"

"Do what you want," Nathan said pouring himself a glass of the Schnapps.

"I'm going to answer it." Haley looked to him for approval, but he just shrugged. He was leaving it all in her hands. "Hello?" She answered.

"Is he with you?" Lucas asked.

"Yes," Haley said biting her lip.

"That son of a bitch! He just took off! Is he staying?"

"We're talking," Haley answered vaguely.

"Do I have to plan on staying here the whole night to keep an eye on things?"

"Were you planning on doing that anyway?" Haley asked, still trying to deflect from his question.

"Is he spending the night?" Lucas asked bluntly. "I need to know if I need to wait for him!"

"Probably," Haley said slowly. "We're having a few drinks."

"Right. The things I do for the two of you! Tell him he owes me big!"

"Thank you, Luke," Haley said warmly. "Thanks for everything. Thank Peyton, too."

"We're not cleaning up!"

"No, we wouldn't expect that."

"We," Lucas said with a slight chuckle. "We're back to—"

"Bye, Lucas," Haley said cutting him off.

When Haley hung up, Nathan launched right back into their conversation. "So how is Dr. Muller's wife?"

* * *

><p>About two hours later, nearing three a.m., Nathan and Haley were finally talked out. During that time they talked about more than Haley's career. They had a long conversation about Nathan's day with Matthew with Haley just as captivated hearing some of the story for the second time, but from Nathan's perspective. The conversation was filled with lots of laughter and excitement. Next, Nathan redirected the conversation to bring the focus back to Haley, by asking about her family. That talk naturally extended back to the place most of their deep conversations included—Tree Hill. The conversation dwindled out when their constant exchange of yawns and dropping eyes told them it was time to get to sleep.<p>

"So…." Nathan said casually unsure of what to do.

"So…." Haley repeated back.

"Do you want me to go home?" Nathan had to ask.

"Do you want to go home?"

"Haley, I' m trying here. Tell me what you want me to do."

Haley stood up and held her hand out to him. "I want you to come to bed with me."

Like many times before, he still didn't know what that meant. Being back in limbo was both frustrating and exciting. Above all, he was grateful to be back on good terms with Haley. As he promised, he let her set the tone.

Nathan took his turn in the bathroom first. As he waited in bed as Haley changed, his eyes kept going back to that damn giant white bear in the corner of her room. He knew it was stupid, but he resented that bear; it was permanent fixture in Haley's life; one that would be there every night, while he would be away.

Haley came out of the bathroom and threw herself onto the bed, landing just next to Nathan. She issued him a jubilant smile and batted her eyelashes at him.

Nathan's melancholy floated away, as Haley's warmth and energy filled the air. He smiled back and sunk down under the covers.

Haley got under the covers, turned on her stomach and bristled up next to Nathan. Instead of waiting for an invitation from him, she pushed his arm aside and rested her head on his chest and moved half of her body over his. "Mmmm," she sighed contentedly.

Nathan gave her a reaffirming squeeze and kissed the top of her head. "This is a nice send off. Now we just need to get to sleep."

"We should sleep in all day," Haley murmured. "You need your sleep."

"Sleep is good," Nathan agreed closing his eyes. He reopened them when he realized how restless Haley was. She was not settling down at all. She was ever so slightly moving around and using her toes to play with his feet.

Haley could feel Nathan's eyes on her. She lifted her head and found him smirking with amusement. She simply smiled back and wrinkled her nose. "I thought you were tired."

"I am."

"So why aren't you trying to go to sleep?"

Nathan laughed and put his finger by her cheek. "Because you have that look in your eyes!"

Haley turned her head way from his finger, narrowed her eyes at him, all with the trace of playful smile. "What look?" She asked innocently.

"You know what look!" This time when Haley's toes touch his, he purposely jerked his foot, as if startled by her touch.

Haley pouted at him and the two of them engaged in stare off until he finally broke down.

"Do you want to do this?" Nathan asked with wide eyes.

The combination of the alcohol, lust and happiness continued bring out Haley's playfulness. "Do what?"

"In ten minutes, I could be sound asleep….or I could be very alert," Nathan said suggestively. "It's your call, Haley. You decide. What's it going to be?"

By now, Haley hated being put on the spot. She liked it better when things happened naturally with them. Even in her foggy state, she knew this was a clear contradiction of what she said earlier. She couldn't seem to get her head and heart on the same page. Frustrated, she smacked her head down into Nathan's chest. "We should go to sleep," she said into his chest.

Nathan could only make out the word "sleep." It was enough for him to start to settle down.

Haley laid a kiss on his nipple, making him tingle, and then turned her head to the side. "Do you still love me?"

"Yes, I still love you, you goof," Nathan chuckled. "Now go to sleep!" He felt Haley's upper body relax, but she still had her toes up.

"I love you, too," Haley said sleepily. She lifted her head and kissed his nipple again and set her head back down. "And I still think you're sexy."

Nathan knew he was getting closer to become aroused. He twitched his neck and let out a sigh.

"And I'm probably going to dream about having sex with you," Haley added.

That did it. Nathan arched his head back and stared up at the ceiling. He started rubbing Haley's back and felt her relax even more.

"Goodnight, Nathan," Haley mumbled.

When her toes went down, he knew she was a goner. As she drifted off to sleep, he kept rubbing her back, as he calmed himself down. He silently laughed at himself for this predicament. It never seized to amaze him how a small, petite girl like Haley could envelop his body. Yet, she consistently did, especially when they slept. He honestly didn't mind. It was a warm, comforting feeling. It was the very thing that kept him going….and he was going to miss.

But she was here _now_, snug in his arms….or he was covered with her….Either way, he knew this was the best possible place to be as he got ready to embrace the biggest challenge of his life and fulfill his dream. He kissed the top of her head and softly whispered, "Thank you."

He went to sleep knowing that Haley James was the best thing that ever happened to him-_Haley_, not basketball. Basketball just wasn't enough anymore. It wasn't what helped him sleep soundly at night; she did.

He also saw how interconnected they were. If she was happy, he was happy. If one of them was off, it set of a wave of discord that had rippling effects. All obvious assumptions to those in experienced relationships, but it was new to him. So, he had to keep Haley happy….and they needed to keep talking. That was something they both knew, but lost sight off. Just like with training for basketball, he could see that relationships needed constant care. They couldn't be put on the backburner like he thought.

However, he still wanted it all—_Haley and basketball_. He was convinced it was possible. As for her career, he was going to have to trust her with that. He would let her set up her boundaries, rules and disclaimers. Deep down, he didn't think their relationship was suited to that, but Haley clearly communicated that was what she needed.

So it was time for him to try and balance it all—love and career. He was about to see if he could handle it. He hoped to God he could, because he really didn't see any alternative.

* * *

><p>Preview of next chapter: "A Lifetime Burning" (One Less Reason)<p>

AN: I apologize for taking so long to post this chapter. I'm having a lot of long, emotional days and am too zapped to do a solid amount of quality writing. Honestly, I think the next month will continue that way, so please be patient! I promise you, I will keep going. My creative juices and inspiration are still there, I just need lots of sleep, more energy and time to get these chapters out to you! I also don't want to put out lousy pieces of work, so I am going to take my time.

So do you think Nathan is going to be able to handle Haley and basketball? You will find out in the next chapter. I highly recommend you check out the song for the next chapter! I'd love to hear your thoughts about what it could mean for Naley. Hint: It's pretty emotional. The next three chapters are the midpoint of the story and also have lots of references to "Arms" by Christina Perri. I have them all mapped out, but some will be very long, so I expect it's going to take a while to write them out.

Thanks for all the reviews and for your continued support! It means a lot, especially as I stress about getting these chapters out to you. Honestly, it is something that worries me, but at the end of the day, I'm going for quality over quantity. Hope that's okay!


	36. Chapter 36

**Disclaimer #1**: Characters, minor plot points and dialogue belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and _One Tree Hill_ writers.

**Disclaimer #2**: Although my career is in the field of psychology, I have taken a lot of liberties with my story. My background is nothing like Haley's in this story. Her story only has _a little_ basis in reality. I know many people in that field who have given me inspiration for details here and there, but this situation is entirely fictional. Please don't take what you read as fact, especially when it comes to the research discussed and ethics of practicing psychology. As with all my stories, you have to use the suspension of disbelief, just as you do with our favorite tv show. The examples in this story are merely for plot purposes. If you do have questions or concerns about the psychological elements of the story, please feel free to **pm me**. I'd love to discuss! If you simply leave me an anonymous review, I can't respond and clear up any confusion, such as the point of view and plot of the story. So please, get in touch **directly**!

AN: This chapter is dedicated to **Dawn**. Thanks for introducing this song to me and inspiring the chapter!

Chapter 36: "A Lifetime Burning" (One Less Reason)

Haley switched her cellphone from one ear to the other as she folded the clothes that were fresh out of the dryer. "We really don't have to Skype _every_ night, Nathan."

"But I want to see you," Nathan whined. "Come on. Just get on. You can see how much my hair has grown."

Although she had given him a hard time about shaving his head, in truth, she appreciated the buzz cut look. She'd never let him know that of course. "I'm a mess! I'm doing laundry!"

"And I'm stuck in this hotel room with nothing to look at but some horrible painting of a bowl of fruit. I want to see you, Haley. _You_."

"Ugh!" Haley said as she put aside the clothes. "How can you be so damn irresistible over the phone?"

Nathan laughed. "Okay. I'm hanging up now. I'll see you a minute."

Haley tidied up the laundry room and prepared to head upstairs to her laptop. When her stomach grumbled, she remembered she hadn't eaten dinner. It was true that with Nathan gone these past two weeks, her days lacked routine and structure. Just about the only consistent thing going were her nightly chats with Nathan. Well, it was too late to eat now anyway and her stomach was in knots. She grabbed a candy bar she'd stashed in her purse and took it upstairs.

Once in the bedroom, she turned on the computer and started to eat the candy bar. As usual, she was surprised by the laptop's speed. She was still chomping on the candy bar when she reached Nathan on Skype.

Half of Nathan's mouth curled up as Haley feel into his sight. "There's my girl," he sighed happily.

Haley tried to hide the candy bar beside her and wiped a spot of caramel from corner of her mouth. "Hey. Happy now? I told you I'm a mess."

Nathan scanned her and her surroundings. He clearly recognized his bedroom. "You're at my place?"

"I told you I was doing laundry." Haley subconsciously put her right hand over the candy bar.

Now he looked at her—every inch of her, as he always did. She had one leg tucked under her and her hand appeared to be shielding something. "What are you hiding?"

This is why precisely why Haley was reluctant to get on Skype with him tonight. She knew she'd be unable to get a thing by him, including how she felt. It was just going to make things harder later when she told him her plans. She guiltily held up the candy bar. "I was hungry."

"And you're eating on my bed," Nathan said shaking his head. "Tsk, tsk. I don't like that. Messy girl."

"Oh yeah? Show me what your hotel room looks like!" Haley challenged him.

Nathan picked up his laptop unapologetically scanned his room. It was a complete disaster and he knew it would get Haley riled up, which he loved. "And this _after_ room service was in today!"

"Disgusting," Haley said turning her nose up. There were dirty clothes, towels, paper bags, pizza boxes and crumpled up napkins strewn about. "Hey, what is that, over by your night stand?" She asked pointing.

"Just a bottle of booze," Nathan said dismissively. "It helps pass the time when you're busy and I'm cooped up in this place."

"What kind is it?" Haley asked, not falling for his pity act. She knew he'd been having a grand old time for himself at training. Most of the day he was in his element and when he wasn't, he was more than happy to bother her. He even admitted recently that he liked the fact that he wasn't allowed to go out with the guys at night as part of his rookie hazing. It gave him more time to rest up, giving him an extra edge over his teammates.

"It's just Peach Schnapps," Nathan mumbled. "So are you-"

"You're drinking Peach Schnapps? I thought you said it was a girly drink!" Haley laughed.

"It reminds me of you," Nathan said giving her his most charming smile.

"Right," Haley said rolling her eyes. As much as she felt tonight wasn't the night for it, she did love the advantages of Skype. Seeing his smile and having the opportunity to roll her eyes at him, did provide another dimension to their communication in their time apart.

"So are you staying at my place?" Nathan asked.

"No," Haley said looking down at the keyboard. "I don't think that's a good idea."

"You're in your pajamas," Nathan pointed out.

Haley looked down at her pink and gray pajama set. "I was doing laundry…"

Nathan leaned in for closer look at his screen. It had lasted for just a fraction of second, but he was sure he had seen it—that sadness in her eyes. As he tried find it again, he became aware of just how much she was moving around, making it impossible to get a good look at her. "Haley, look at me. Come closer."

Haley held down her shirt. More than once, he'd tried to get her to flash him. It was all part of a playful banter and flirting they'd engaged in through the webcam. It was all harmless and didn't mean much in Haley's eyes. "I'm not falling for that, Nathan."

"Hales, is something wrong?"

"I'm just tired," Haley said quickly. "So what's up with you? Are you going to play in that preseason game?"

"Yeah. Clay's not crazy about it since they're still not offering a contract, but I don't think it's a smart move to sit out now. I think I need to keep showing them what I've got—and I want two years." Two years in Los Angeles was very important to him for many reasons. At this point, Clay had the Lakers just about ready to offer him one year, but he was determined to squeeze another out of them and believed he could do it, by playing and cooperating.

"Well this morning on talk radio, they said the only thing holding them back is Devon Fox. They know they're going to upset people when they cut him and they want to wait as long as they can to do that."

"So they're trying to win over the fans?"

"And maybe the team. How's it going with them? The press is going crazy with the media blackout. They're speculating that things aren't going good."

"It's still tense at times. Devon won't work with me—and I can't blame him for that—and some people on the team are afraid to play with me with him around. It's like they don't know which way to go. Honestly, I just wish the organization would make up their minds. I think they know having both of us around isn't going to work."

"Well, I think they should go with young, talented guy instead of the old selfish guy only out for himself."

"Maybe I should have you talk to my coaches," Nathan joked. "So back to you…are you stressing out about your data coming in?"

Haley knew he wasn't going to let this go. Although she wanted to talk to him some more, she figured it was time to fill him in, even though it would cut their conversation short. She took a deep breath and put on her brave face. "I actually wanted to talk to you about something."

He saw it again—just a flicker. Now he knew she was fighting it. "What is it?" He asked sympathetically.

Haley inwardly cringed at his tone. "It's nothing. I'm fine. I just wanted to tell you something, that's really no big deal. I need you to know that," she said finally looking at the screen. She had to quickly look away as she saw his wide, serious eyes beaming back at her. "I just won't be able to talk to you tomorrow."

"Why?" Nathan asked.

"Because tomorrow is a day I'm going to take for myself. I just want to be on my own, clear my head and have some space."

"Oh," Nathan said crestfallen. "But why? Do you have work? What's going on, Hales? Am I bothering you? You can't keep things bottled up inside. Tell me what I did."

"No, Nathan. You didn't do anything," Haley said gently. "It's just that I want to be alone for the day."

"I don't understand."

"Okay," Haley said taking a deep breath. "I'll tell you, but you have to believe me when I tell you it's _not _a big deal. It's just this thing I go through that I started last year and it seemed to work. I want to be alone and I don't talk to anyone—not even my mom—"

"Haley," Nathan said impatiently.

"It's my dad's birthday," Haley blurted out. She watched as Nathan flinched. She instinctually felt the need to continue to reassure him that everything—that she—was okay. "It's not a bad thing. It's just that I like to take the day and think about him. On the anniversary of his death, I feel like I have to be there for my mom, so on this day, I take the day to myself. I think about him and the memories….It's not meant to be sad. It's just a day of reflection."

"And you don't talk to anyone?" Nathan asked trying to understand.

"It's just for one day. Look, I'm just telling you so you won't worry. I'm going to shut off my phone and just try clear my mind."

Despite his best efforts, Nathan did not feel comfortable with this. "You shouldn't block everyone out like that."

"It's for _one day_," Haley repeated slowly.

"Is this a test? Because I have two training sessions and a coaches' meeting. I can't miss any of them. I'm sorry, Hales. I just can't."

"No, no. It's not a test. I'm just telling you what _I need_. Listen to me, Nathan. Just give me one day of space. I'll be fine. This is how I work. I need to be alone and process through everything."

Nathan studied her carefully. She was giving him a fake smile that didn't match the look in her eyes. But what could he say? What could he do? She was the psychologist after all. And she was communicating with him. He had to trust her and respect her wishes. "Are you going to stay at my place?"

Haley started to fiddle with the sheets on Nathan's bed. "No. I just want to be home."

"At least stay there tonight, Hales. You love the beach. I think it would be good for you."

Haley looked down at the covers. "Alana washed your sheets."

"I told you she was coming by."

Haley looked up at him. "And I just washed your clothes. Now….Now I have nothing that smells like you."

Nathan closed his eyes and rolled around his head. This was killing him. He wanted nothing more than to be there with her—to put his arms around her—to fight through that thick wall she was starting to put up. He opened his eyes and looked right at her, unable to hide the helpless look in his eyes. "Haley, I miss you—so much. Have I told you that? I haven't, have I?—"

Haley put her hand up over the webcam. "Don't do this. I can't handle this. It's not want I wanted. Just let me be. I'll be fine."

"Okay, okay," Nathan said anxiously. "Tell you what. Let's get off this thing and you call me on your cell when you get into bed."

Haley still wasn't thrilled with the idea, but it was a compromise. She didn't want Nathan getting upset over her. She would use the time to regroup, calm down, then call him back.

"But, Hales? I really think you should just spend the night there. Go back to your place tomorrow if you want. You even said yourself you were tired." And with that horrible dream still lodged in the back of his mind, he was still worried about her driving.

Haley didn't have in her to argue him on this point. It was too tempting to crawl in his bed and fall asleep. Maybe she had subconsciously planned on that all along. "Okay. Just let me finish the laundry. I'll call you back."

Nathan watched as his screen went blank. He didn't get to see her face one last time, but he didn't need to. He had a feeling that despite what Haley said, being alone wasn't in her best interest. He hoped he was wrong.

* * *

><p>Nathan walked into Haley's apartment fast and furiously. He was on a break between training sessions and wanted to make this quick. He was caught off-guard by darkness due to the closed blinds, but didn't think much about it. He set down the giftbag on her coffee table and turned to leave, when he heard the rustling from the other room. He took a few steps away from the couch toward the hallway. He could only see her outline, but he was sure it was her. "Haley?"<p>

Haley took a step back and leaned back against her door, causing it to creek. "Damn," she muttered. Seeing no other choice, she stepped forward and almost hit Nathan.

Nathan grabbed Haley firmly by the shoulders. She was wearing those same pink and gray pajamas and her hair was frizzy mess. He looked beyond her at the pitch dark bedroom and crumpled up covers. "Haley! What is going on?"

"N-nothing," Haley said slightly shaken up.

"Why are you here? Why aren't you at work?"

"I never said I was going into work."

It hadn't occurred to Nathan that she would take the day off. "You didn't tell me that."

"I didn't think I had to," Haley said huffily.

Nathan let go of her and took notice of her red, puffy eyes. "Haley."

Haley started shaking her head as a sob forced its way out. "No! Don't do this."

Nathan forcefully pulled her into his chest and wrapped his arms around her. "Shhhh. It's okay. Let it out."

Haley let go everything inside of her. She'd only done that once before; inside the safe room. Apparently, only he could bring out this side of her. The irony was clear; at some point he became her safe room. With those arms around her, she felt free enough to be at her weakest.

Nathan held her tightly until she calmed down. Then he walked her out to the living room and had her take a seat on the couch. He poured her a glass of water, got her some tissues and took a seat next to her.

Haley blew her nose, wiped up her tears and took a drink of the water. "I told you not to come. Why are you here?"

"I didn't think you would be here. I was just going to drop something off."

"What?"

Nathan took the giftbag and handed it to her. "It was something I picked up. I was hoping it would cheer you up."

The tears came back to Haley, but this time they were long and slow. She stared at the small size bag with white tissue paper sticking out of it.

"You don't have to open it now. Why don't you wait until later?"

Haley put her hand on his arm and squeezed it. "No. I want to open it with you here."

"Then you need to read the card first," Nathan said quietly. He leaned back against the couch and braced himself for her reaction.

Haley pulled out the tissue paper and reached down for the small card. It had a purple flower on the front. She opened it and saw it was a blank card filled with Nathan's handwriting. Her eyes quickly began to fill up, blurring out the words. She had to wait a second, let the tears fall, then wiped them away so she could read it.

_Haley,_

_I thought about your dad today and tried to think about what he would want. I don't think he would want you to be sad on his birthday. He seemed like such a happy guy. I think he would want you to celebrate. As a father, I would also think he would want to celebrate you. If I had a daughter like you, I know I'd take the time to be grateful for my girl on my birthday. So, I got you a gift, but try not to think of it as from me. Think of it as gift from your dad—his way of thanking you for being such a great daughter, because I know you were. He was very lucky to have you and don't ever forget that. Celebrate your dad's life today, Hales. Call me if you need to. I'm always here for you; always and forever._

_Love, _

_Nathan_

Haley had no words to offer. Overcome with emotion, she couldn't even bring herself to look at him. Instead, she set the card down, leaned back and rested her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes.

"Ah," Nathan said clearing his throat, "I wasn't supposed to be here when you read that. Now I feel like an idiot."

Haley pulled her head up and put her hand to his cheek. "No. Don't. It's beautiful."

Nathan sheepishly smiled. "You haven't even opened the gift yet."

Haley turned her attention back to the giftbag. She pulled out a small jewelry box and opened it up. Inside was a gold sand dollar charm on gold chain. She put her hand over her mouth and let out a soft moan.

"I wasn't planning on getting that," Nathan explained. "I went into the hotel gift store to get the card and I saw it. I thought your dad would want you to have it."

"It's beautiful," Haley said fingering it. She took it out of the box and handed it to him. "Can you put it on?"

As Haley lifted up her hair, Nathan took the necklace and fastened it around her neck. It was short chain and fell just a little below her neckline. "There. How does it feel?"

Haley felt the charm and smiled. It already felt right at home against her skin. She picked back up the card and flashed it at him. "This would have been enough. Do you know wildflowers that look just like these grow at the beach I used to go to with my family? I used to pick them and give them to my parents."

Nathan shivered. "That's kind of weird. It was the only card they had I could use."

"Do you believe in life after death? That the people we love are still with us? Like _really _with us?"

"Yeah, I do. I'm not real religious, but I do believe there is some higher power with a big plan."

Haley pursed her lips together and shook her head. Her eyes burned into his chest, staring at his t-shirt. "How can you be sure?"

Of course Haley's scientific mind would struggle with the idea of spiritually. Nathan put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her towards him. "You can't. You just have to have faith. But if you need proof, Hales, just look around you. The card, the necklace….you think that's a coincidence? What are the odds of that?"

Haley plucked at his tree on his t-shirt and then rubbed her hand over it. "I was thinking about this shirt."

Nathan looked down at the Stanford shirt Haley had given him that was supposed to be a gift to her father. "There it is."

Haley looked at him, feeling incredibly numb and drained. "You didn't plan that?"

Nathan held up his hand. "Swear to God. It was the first shirt I pulled out—and I wasn't expecting to see you."

"I don't how I knew that, but I just did," Haley sighed.

Nathan could tell Haley was becoming despondent. He had to leave, but couldn't leave her like that. "So what did your dad like to do on his birthday? Did you guys have a big party?"

"No," Haley answered quickly. "It wasn't like that at all. In fact," she said sitting up a little, "he liked to spend some time on his own. He used to go off fishing and he wouldn't let anyone else go with him. I guess I can't blame him," she chuckled. "Six kids in our house—it was always loud and crazy! We had family dinner and cake, but all the poor guy wanted was some quiet time. He loved fishing-"

Haley abruptly stopped talking as a memory settled in her mind.

Nathan saw the glazed over look in Haley's eyes. "Fishing?" He prompted her, wishing he could see that hint of smile that disappeared so quickly.

Haley snapped back to her present. Her initial instinct was push that memory away, but she thought twice about it. Before she knew it, she found that memory bubbling back to the surface. It was so vivid that she had to share it with Nathan, even though it would hurt. "A couple of years ago, I flew home for his birthday. It was a surprise. He was ecstatic, of course, and he—he asked me if I want to go with him—fishing. I thought he just felt bad about leaving me after I flew out, so….so I said no." A few tears dripped down her face, but she still couldn't feel any emotion. "_I said no_, Nathan. I would give _anything_ to go back and change that."

Nathan felt horrible for stirring up those feelings in her, especially since he knew he had to leave. All the cards and jewelry and weren't enough. He wasn't enough…but he wasn't giving up either.

Haley was surprised when Nathan stood up. "Basketball," she said with realization. She put her hand to her forehead. "I forgot! You have to go!"

Nathan disappeared into Haley's bedroom and returned wearing a new t-shirt. He handed her the Stanford one. "I'm coming back. Be ready…Um, at six. Maybe earlier. Turn on your phone. I'll text you."

"Nathan—"

"Take a nap, eat something, but then shower and change. Be ready."

Haley stood up. "Nathan—"

"Don't do that, Hales," Nathan said sternly. "Be ready!" He said pointing at her. "No regrets."

Haley didn't have a chance to protest. He left in a flash—without even giving her a hug. But he was coming back. She was left with mixed emotions—hope, love, dread, anxiety.

And the words he left her with….no regrets…she had no choice but to give in to those positive emotions and push her nerves aside. So instead of back to bed, it was off to the shower. Before she did, she pressed the t-shirt to her face. She smelled his musky sent. It gave her the energy and motivation she needed to get ready.

* * *

><p>"I know where we're going!" Haley said as soon as they exited the freeway. "Is Lucas coming?"<p>

"Do you want him to?" Nathan asked out of the corner of his eye.

"He can, but…It would be nice if he let you take me out on his boat. That's what you planned, right?"

"I was hoping. He's meeting us there. Just put on your puppy dog eyes and he'll cave."

"Nathan," Haley said quietly, "you don't have to this. I didn't mean to make you feel guilty."

"I want to do this. You deserve it."

"But I don't want you to get in trouble. Aren't you missing something important?"

"I left the last session a little early," Nathan explained, "and I don't _need _to be at the meeting with the coaches."

"It probably doesn't look good," Haley said unhappily.

"Haley, let me worry about that, okay? This is where I want to be." Nathan pulled into the parking lot. It was wide open so he grabbed a spot right up front, close to where Lucas' boat was docked.

As they got out of the car, they could see Lucas off in the distance on the boat laying down some fishing rods.

"Fishing?" Haley asked meekly.

"Is that okay? I thought it would be nice," Nathan said nervously.

Haley tugged on his arm. "I can't do this with Lucas. _Just you_. You've seen me at my worst. He doesn't even know….and I don't want to explain….or face him…I just want to be myself and not have to worry about it."

"Tell you what. Why don't you go use the restroom and meet me out on the boat?"

Haley nodded and headed off the restrooms inside the boathouse. Nathan walked over to the boat and joined Lucas.

"So, you need me to stay?" Lucas asked immediately.

"Are you serious?" Nathan asked skeptically.

"Nate, you sounded pretty frantic on the phone. I figured you needed this."

"I do," Nathan said defensively. "I just can't believe you're going to trust me with your boat."

"It's for Hales. Peyton convinced me it would be fine. I mean, I feel horrible. I didn't know it was her dad's birthday."

"It's not like she advertises it. I don't know," Nathan said carefully looking around to ensure she wasn't out from the bathroom. "I just want to take care of her…and I think I can do that."

"It looks like you are." Lucas put his hands on his hips and cocked his head. "How's it going?"

"I thought it was going to be harder—like work….but it's not. It's just working itself all out. All that worrying was for nothing."

"What do you mean?" Lucas asked puzzled.

"She's just _a part of my life_. It's not just basketball like I thought it was going to be. If anything, talking to her every night helps me focus. I want—" Nathan stopped talking as Lucas starting laughing. "What?"

"I was talking about _basketball_," Lucas snickered.

"Oh." Embarrassed at first, Nathan quickly saw the humor and chuckled. "Yeah, well—see what I mean?"

Lucas nodded up head. Haley was on her way down. "So leave the keys with the life vests—right next to the license. But be careful—"

"I know, I know!"

"It's all gassed up and ready. Peyton also packed you a cooler with sandwiches and drinks."

Haley stepped onto the boat and gave Lucas a warm hug. When they broke, Lucas handed her keys to the boat.

"I trust you, Hales. Do me proud," Lucas grinned.

"You're kidding me!" Nathan spat out.

"I never said _you_ could drive," Lucas said brushing past him.

* * *

><p>Haley lifted her rod up and down and let a disappointed sigh. The sun had set over an hour ago and they were sitting in the dark, side by side at the bow of the boat, each with a line in the water. A half hour had uneventfully passed.<p>

"Patience, Hales," Nathan repeated for the third time.

"I don't understand it. Nothing has happened!"

"You've done a lot of talking," Nathan shot out.

Haley's mouth fell open until she saw that smirk. She gave him a harsh shove. "Jerk."

"It's true!" Nathan laughed. She had babbled on and on since they cast out their lines. "The fish like quiet."

"Are you serious?"

"Yes!" Nathan held his arm out for Haley. "Come closer and you can whisper."

"I agree with Matthew. Fishing is boring." Haley rolled her eyes as he casually leaned back. He reminded her of a teenage boy trying to get closer to a girl. Still, she moved closer. As soon she felt his arm around her, she felt more an ease. She realized how wound up and fidgety she'd been.

"I think it's peaceful," Nathan said looking out at the water. The ocean was spread out before them completely empty and calm.

Haley jumped when she heard splash in the water. She pushed into Nathan, tightly clutching her pole. "What was that?"

"Relax. It's probably just a fish," Nathan reassured her as he rubbed her arm. "We're not that far out."

Haley looked around anxiously. The ocean's vastness left her feeling isolated. "It's kind of scary out here…Intimidating. What if something happens to us?"

"There's a horn. We'd call for help."

"What if no one hears us?"

"There's nothing to be scared of. I wouldn't let anything happen to you."

Haley knew it was true. She stuck the fishing rod in between her legs and settled comfortably into Nathan's side. They sat there wordlessly for the next ten minutes. As each minute ticked away, Haley felt more relaxed. Her senses began to kick in. She could hear the soft flow of the water, the chirping of some mosquitos and smelled the salt in the air. She could even see the reflection of the moon so clearly bouncing off of the water.

"You okay?" Nathan asked taking a peek at her.

Haley looked up at him and smiled. "I'm more than okay."

Nathan had to look away for a second. She had that look in her eyes—complete love and adoration…for him. He wasn't sure he would ever get used to someone looking at him like that. Yet, he found himself craving it and so he quickly looked back and held her gaze.

As they held each other's gaze and exchanged mutual affection through their eyes and body language, their lips gravitated to each other. They were just about to meet when the line on Haley's pole began to jerk.

Haley looked at the rod with wide-open eyes.

Nathan nudged her. "You have something. Reel it in!"

Haley picked up the rod and began to crank the handle on the side. She immediately faced some resistance and had to stand up to gain more leverage. "Nathan! Nathan!"

"I'm right here," Nathan said as he stood and moved behind her. He put his hands on her hips, held her firmly in place and let her still do the reeling.

Haley struggled with her fishing rod, as the line moved back and forth, but eventually she reeled it all the way in. As soon as she saw the foot long fish's fin flapping around dramatically, she panicked. Before even taking a closer look, she handed her rod to Nathan. "I can't."

Nathan had to stifle his laughter as he brought the fish down to the floor of the boat. He clamped his foot over it and started to work on getting the hook out of its mouth.

When she saw a trail of blood from the fish's mouth, Haley slowly backed away. "Don't hurt it!"

"This is stuck!" Nathan lifted his foot so he could get a better grip on the fish and it started to flap wildly.

"Ahhhh!" Haley screamed as she ran clear to the other side of the boat. "Nathan! Let it go! Get it off!"

"Just a minute," Nathan said taking the fish in his hands.

Haley looked away. "Tell me when it's over!" She looked back when she heard a "plop" in the water.

Nathan held up his hands. "All done."

"Is it alive?" Haley asked clutching her arms over her chest.

Nathan didn't need to look, but did it to appease her. "It's gone," he answered truthfully. He wiped his hands on his jeans and started to walk toward her. "Hales, haven't you dissected things before? Like in labs?"

"It's different. They're already dead…and I didn't kill them," she said timidly.

Now at her feet, Nathan gave her an amused look. "You were wrong. You shouldn't regret that you didn't go fishing with your dad. You would have driven him crazy! He _definitely _didn't want you around!"

Haley playfully shoved him. "You're an ass joking about my dad on a day like this!"

"You love it!" Nathan laughed.

Haley scrunched up her face at him. "Yeah, well I'm done fishing for the night!"

That was fine with him. Nathan felt in his heart he'd achieved his goal; he had made a tough day for Haley a little better.

* * *

><p>After docking the boat, Nathan and Haley cleaned up in the restrooms. When Nathan came back out, he saw that Haley was back on the boat. He figured she was just checking things over. As he got closer to the boat, he saw that she was sitting down on the long cushioned seat at the bow of the boat. Nathan stepped onto the boat and walked over to her.<p>

"I was just relaxing. I guess I'm not ready to go," Haley said with a peaceful smile.

Nathan took a seat next to her. "We could hang out for a while."

Haley leaned forward and Nathan slipped his arm around her.

Nathan could see the difference with the boat docked and how that would appeal to Haley. They had all the same sensory experiences as when they were on the ocean, but they were also just steps away from land. She probably needed that security to relax. "You didn't like being out on the ocean at night, huh?"

"No, I did," Haley said slightly confused. "I just wasn't ready to leave _you _yet."

Nathan closed his eyes, pushed his head against hers and snuck a kiss in on her cheek. "We're going to make this work, aren't we?" He asked as he nuzzled her neck.

Haley had on a beaming smile. "I think we are."

Nathan pulled his head up and looked at her. "You think?" He asked disappointedly.

"We are," Haley corrected herself. "You're going to get that contract and play your heart out and we'll keep doing what we're doing."

"Making it work."

"Making it work," Haley repeated.

"You know, I think you're right. I'm going to get the contract—maybe even two years if Clay can swing it—" Nathan brushed back some wisps of Haley's hair behind her ear, "and I owe that to you."

"I didn't do anything."

"You believed in me. All my life I felt like I wasn't good enough—until you. You made the difference, Haley James," Nathan thumbed at her cheek, "_You_."

"You're wrong. It was you. You had it in you all along," Haley said firmly.

"I think we're going to have to disagree on this one."

Haley rested her head on his shoulder and yawned. "I'm tired, but I still don't want to go. Can we stay a little longer?"

"Yeah," Nathan said yawning. He leaned back and closed his eyes. He listened to the sounds of gentle water crashing against the boat. This was just want he needed too. Training had been grueling, especially today. He really didn't want to go to that coach's meeting anyway. A night off with his girl had done him a world of good.

* * *

><p>When Nathan felt his senses starting to return, he fought them off. He knew someone was talking to him, but he had no interest in figuring out who it was. Instead, he tried to go back to his dream. In that dream, Haley was on top of him. She was all over him, really. She was bringing him such pleasure. He started to grow hot as he thought about it. A jolt surged through his body when he felt movement on top of him.<p>

He started to become aware that Haley actually _was_ on top of him. They had fallen asleep on the boat. At some point, they had lied down. He felt the life vest he used as a pillow under his head. He remembered the towel Haley had used a blanket. He didn't need one. He had her for warmth.

Nathan and Haley shot up as they heard the sound horn go off. Haley put her hands over her ears. Nathan rubbed his eyes and focused them at the stern of the boat.

Lucas held up the horn. "Rise and shine, sleepyheads!"

Nathan and Haley collected themselves and stumbled off the boat. Half-asleep and aggravated, they completely ignored Lucas and headed to the bathrooms.

Haley repeatedly splashed cold water over her face at the sink. She looked back in the mirror and was still unsatisfied with her pasty look that clearly showed she'd been sleeping. The bags under her eyes didn't help either. Then there was the sticky taste in her mouth. There wasn't much she could do. At least she felt good. The adrenaline was already starting to kick in as she recalled the night. She fixed herself up as best she could and headed outside.

She found Lucas and Nathan standing outside talking.

"Just let me know," Lucas said patting Nathan's back. "I'm going to check over the boat again."

"What is he talking about?" Haley asked.

"I have to go. He offered to drive you home to save me some time. Is that okay?"

Haley nodded. "You should get back."

"Come here," Nathan said pulling her in for a hug. "Thank you."

"No, thank you," Haley said looking up at him with her arms around his neck. "You made a difference."

"I couldn't let you stay in bed like that, Hales. That's no way to spend the day."

"I was letting everything catch up with me and no one wants to be around that."

"You're wrong. I want you to let me in, Hales. I can handle it. Don't try to protect me like that again. We talked about that."

"I told you—" Haley started to remind him. She cut herself off, deciding to just be thankful instead. "You're right." She slid her arms through his and secured them on his back. "So the next time I see you, you're going to have that contract!"

"Two years?"

"Yes! You're worth even more than that in my opinion."

"Hales, what do you think," Nathan said slowly, as he intentionally shined his blue eyes at her, "of maybe going to Texas?"

"Texas? Next week?"

"You spend some time with your sister and nephew…maybe I could meet them…you come to my game…"

"I don't know."

"You could be home by Monday when your data comes in."

"It's on Tuesday," Haley clarified. "I'll have to go down to Stanford for a few days to work with Dr. Green too."

"All the more reason to take a break. Come on, Hales," Nathan pleaded. "I'll even pay for your ticket."

Although she hated to admit it, that was a concern. She just didn't have the money to pay peak airfare. "It will be my birthday present."

Nathan smiled. "Sure," he said unconvincingly. "Whatever you say."

Haley nestled her head into his shoulder, then gave him a kiss on the cheek and pulled away. "One week. I can deal with that."

"I bet two weeks is the most we'd have to be apart," Nathan said shoving his hands in his pocket.

Haley saw Lucas was approaching. She knew her time with Nathan was almost up. She wove her hands through his arms and gave him a hug. "Mmm..."

Nathan kissed the top of her head, then gently pushed her back. "Enough, you goof. We'll talk tonight."

Lucas joined them and they exchanged goodbyes. Haley got into Lucas' car and they headed out of the parking lot.

"You and Nathan seemed to be doing well," Lucas happily pointed out.

"He's been….such a good friend." Haley held back using the term she wanted—best friend.

"I'm sorry, Hales. I keep failing at being your friend," Lucas said regretfully. "I never thought my little brother would be better at this, especially while he's away at training."

"It's not your fault. We're adults now and things change. It's okay. I'm lucky that I have both of you as friends—in different ways, of course."

"How? Are you two just friends or what?"

"Lucas,...don't push me on this. You just said yourself everything's going well. But to be honest….right now our friendship is the most important thing. I needed that from him more than I ever realized."

"Well, you have it. He'd do anything for you," Lucas said with certainty.

"Not _anything_," Haley said. In the end, their careers came first and it wasn't like he'd give up basketball for her—which she understood perfectly.

"There isn't much he wouldn't do," Lucas responded.

Haley still had her concerns about starting her dissertation work. Once that started, it would undoubtedly be her first priority. Did Nathan understand that? He'd given up a meeting for her last night. She wasn't sure she'd do the same for him. So did that mean he more committed to the relationship than she was?

However, if they kept the romance aside and continued to focus on the friendship, it might not even be an issue. In the end that didn't matter. As their relationship wavered back and forth between love and friendship, she'd take whatever he had to offer. A life of half love and half hope of something more were worth the flame he lit inside of her. She wanted a lifetime of that flame burning and hoped he would be as patient with her as he promised, so that could happen.

"So I'm taking you home?" Lucas asked cautiously as they neared the main street.

"Where else would we go?" Haley asked.

"We could go to my place. Peyton could give you a tour of the new studio. She has a meeting set up with her artist—Mia. I'm pretty sure you could help her too. She said they've hit a rut and been stuck on this one song."

"I haven't played in a while, Luke."

"But you've always had an ear for music. Look, no pressure, but it is Saturday."

"Fine….but I'm telling you Peyton shouldn't expect anything from me!"

"Haley, you're forgetting I still know you pretty well," Lucas said cockily. "Once you start to hear music, you can't help but get caught up in it."

"I have Michael to thank for that."

"Does he still play the violin?"

"And guitar," Haley said proudly. "I think I might go visit them next week."

"Next week, huh?" Lucas said wryly. "What a coincidence…Same time Nathan will be there."

"Lucas…"

"It's nice, Hales. It's about time he pass the Vivian test."

"She's relaxed a lot over the years, Luke. She'll be fine."

"So you admit he's going to meet her!" Lucas said triumphantly.

"Oh, just keep driving," Haley huffed. "All my important friends meet Vivian. You even came to her house in Texas."

"Yeah, but Viv knew me since I was eight. This is different….Nathan and Vivian. I can't wait to hear all about this."

Haley fell silent for a minute as she thought this over. "No, it's going to be fine. I know it will be. She's going to love him, just like my mom did."

Lucas smugly smiled.

"What's that for?" Haley asked, noticing how he was making it a point not to look at her.

"Nothing….Well," Lucas said as if he couldn't contain himself, "I just think it's funny that you need Vivian's approval for Nathan to be your 'important friend."

"I'm not looking for her approval!" Haley calmed down when she realized that Lucas was teasing her. "Lucas Eugene Scott, you're in for it! I'm revoking your best friend title."

Lucas gave Haley a sideways glance. "I didn't know I still had that title," he said quietly.

Haley didn't know what to say. She nervously looked around the car.

"It's okay, Hales. I don't deserve that title. The person who deserves that is the one who you talk to every night. The one who knows what you need without you having to ask. It's someone that even though they're not around you, still makes an effort to be there for you. I'm not that person for you anymore….I haven't been since we graduated from Stanford. I'm just glad you have one again."

"Luke," Haley said as he looked up at him tenderly, "there's something to be said for a childhood best friend. It's a place in my heart that can never be replaced."

"I know," Lucas said warmly. "I feel the same way."

"And," Haley said turning slightly away from him, "you still know me pretty well."

Lucas shook his head. "Yeah, I do."

* * *

><p>Preview of next chapter: "Illusion of Bliss" (Sarah McLachlan)<p>

AN: I hope it didn't take too long to post! Unfortunately, I expect the next wait to be the same. Things are very hectic in my personal and professional life for the next month. After that, things should slow down. In the meantime, I promise simply to do my best between posting for all my stories.

In the next chapter, you will meet Michael, Haley's nephew. His character was inspired by two teens I have worked with that have Asperger's Syndrome (who refer to themselves as "Aspies"), along with the fictional character Max from the tv show _Parenthood._ If you have any tips for me, feel free to pass them along in a **PM**. Just like with Matthew, you will see him pop up from time to time.

Thanks for all your generous reviews, especially to those of you that I can't respond to via PM. I appreciate hearing from you.


	37. Chapter 37

**Disclaimer #1**: Characters, minor plot points and dialogue belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and _One Tree Hill_ writers.

**Disclaimer #2**: Although my career is in the field of psychology, I have taken a lot of liberties with my story. My background is nothing like Haley's in this story. Her story only has _a little_ basis in reality. I know many people in that field who have given me inspiration for details here and there, but this situation is entirely fictional. Please don't take what you read as fact, especially when it comes to the research discussed and ethics of practicing psychology. As with all my stories, you have to use the suspension of disbelief, just as you do with our favorite tv show. The examples in this story are merely for plot purposes. If you do have questions or concerns about the psychological elements of the story, please feel free to **pm me**. I'd love to discuss! If you simply leave me an anonymous review, I can't respond and clear up any confusion, such as the point of view and plot of the story. So please, get in touch **directly**!

Chapter 37: "Illusion of Bliss" (Sarah McLachlan)

After spending a few minutes carefully watching Haley through his computer screen, Nathan started to relax. She looked completely at ease and content at sister's home. Now, he could settle down and really talk to her.

"I have a big decision to make," Nathan said ominously. "I want your advice."

"What is it?"

"They put an offer on the table, but it's just one year. Clay's convinced he can get them to two but he wants me to play hardball and not play at the game."

"Can you do that?" Haley asked. "Even after they offered you a contract?"

"I'm not under contract, so yeah. It's actually been a huge risk playing without a contract, even if it is just preseason. If I get hurt, that's it."

"Well, don't get hurt!" Haley exclaimed.

Nathan laughed. "That's your big advice? Don't get hurt…"

"Yes!" Haley began to seriously ponder his position. He was so close to his dream. What was holding him back? Money? Knowing him, probably not. It was probably more career longevity. "Do you have your heart set on two years?"

"Yeah. I want to be _in L.A._ for two years," Nathan said firmly. "And I doubt they'd trade me."

"I'm sure it will all work out. You're a great player, so don't sell yourself short."

"You haven't even seen me play," Nathan reminded her.

"Nathan, whatever decision you make will be right. You're a smart guy. Trust in that."

Nathan nodded but was still unsure what to do. "I'm leaning towards playing. I don't want to be one of those guys that's just all about the money. I want to show them I'm in it for the right reasons—how much I love the game."

"See—that sounds smart. It goes against what they have with Devon. You'll show them you're not him."

Nathan was struck that she seemed to know the answer all along. "Why didn't you just tell me I should play?"

"Because it needs to come from you. This is your decision—you need to own it."

Nathan still didn't get it. If the situation was reversed, he'd just tell her what he thought. "Is this one of your psychological tricks?"

"It's not a trick!" Haley said defensively.

"Whatever…So, where's the boy? I thought you wanted me to meet him tonight."

"He's in his room playing a video game. I can hear him from here. I'll get him in a sec. I want to explain one thing to you first."

"Haley," Nathan said showing his irritation, "you've already explained to me, both scientifically and in kindergarten language, what Asperger's is. Would you like me to repeat it back to you?"

"This is different—sort of," Haley said unfazed by his irritation. It was true; she had talked his ear off about Michael in general and also about Asperger syndrome. "I just found out about this here. Michael is part of a social group for people in his age group with Asperger's—"

"Isn't that part of his problem? Social issues? Bet that's a fun group!"

"Don't be a jerk." Haley rolled her eyes at him. "That's precisely why they meet, Nathan; to work on their issues. It helps because he's mostly in mainstream classes in school, but he gets to be around people like him in this group. One of the things they've been working on is learning what Asperger's is and learning to take some pride in it. So, they use the term 'Aspie' and Michael's being using it a lot; maybe a little too much. He tells everyone he's an 'Aspie' and sometimes he uses it an excuse for not doing things like emptying the dishwasher. Vivian's still trying to work with him on it."

"He's almost a teenager, right?"

"He's twelve and in the seventh grade. I don't think Vivian is too excited about heading into the teenage years."

"So get him. I want to meet this kid."

"He talks fast, remember? And he's working on not monopolizing the conversation, so feel free to let him know when he is. It's okay to do that. He's used to it. He needs people to be as direct—"

"Haley!" Nathan snapped.

"Right." Haley got up of the bed and left her laptop behind. A few seconds later, she came back and peered into the screen. "One more thing—he's never used Skype so I'm not really sure if this is going to work."

"We'll never know if you don't go get the boy!" Nathan teased.

A few minutes later, Haley returned with Michael. She pointed to her laptop. "Go over and introduce yourself."

The gawky boy with large brown eyes and shaggy dirty-blonde hair, dressed impeccably in a green polo tucked into his high waist ironed khakis secured with brown belt, shuffled stiffly over to the bed. He looked into the computer screen and waved his hand in front of it. "Whoa! Can you see me? I can see you! I can see you! Aunt Haley, come see! He's there!"

"I know," Haley said stifling her laughter as she purposely kept her position in the doorway. "I've been talking to him. Now it's your turn. Introduce yourself."

Michael grabbed his wrist and twisted it as he spoke rapidly. "I'm Michael. I'm an Aspie violinist but now I play the guitar too. I go to Johnson Middle School—Wait—" He looked up at Haley. "Does he know Aspie? Mom said sometimes people don't know."

"Why don't you ask him?" Haley said nodding toward the screen. They were forever trying to break Michael of the habit of speaking _about _people instead of _to _them when they were in the same room. This Skype session was same kind of situation.

Michael turned back toward the screen and began anxiously cracking his knuckles. "Aspie is for Asperger's. People like me use that word because it's who we are. Aspie's think differently and I don't understand sarcasm or facial expressions but I'm really good with music. Now I need to ask you a question," he said thoughtfully as he looked around the room. "Taking turns is important and I get a reward for it. Aunt Haley, tell Mom how I took a turn with questions. Do you play music?"

Nathan shook his head. "No. I'm Nathan, by the way—"

"Ugh!" Michael shook his hands wildly and looked over at Haley. "I forgot to ask his name! We went over that in role play last week!"

"It's okay," Haley said walking up behind him and redirected him back to the laptop. "Let Nathan talk now."

Nathan jumped right in to help alleviate Michael's stress. "I've been playing basketball my whole life. I used to play for the D-Fenders. Now, I'm going out for the Lakers. Do you watch basketball?"

"I hate basketball," Michael quipped. "It's so boring. I don't want to go to your game tomorrow night either, but Mom says I have to. She won't let me bring my Nintendo DS either." He leaned in closer to the computer screen. "Are you in Texas yet?"

"No. I leave tomorrow morning."

"What's that behind you?" Michael asked pointing. "Is it an Iphone?"

Nathan looked around him, picked up his Iphone and held it up. "Yup."

"Cool. What else do you have?"

"Not too much here. I'm in a hotel."

"Can I see?"

Nathan got up off the bed and slowly scanned the room with his laptop. Michael seemed fascinated, but more with the technology than anything else.

"Hey!" Michael said excitedly as he popped up. "Want to see my room?"

Without waiting for an answer, Michael picked up the laptop and headed out of the room. Haley let him go. She stayed in her bedroom and left the door open. She could hear Michael babbling away. Eventually the noise died down and all Haley could hear was the sound of Michael playing his video games. She texted Nathan and found out that after making Nathan watching him play for a while, Michael became so immersed in his game, he forgot about him. Then when he least expected it, Michael would say something to him, without even looking. So, Nathan kept the Skype session going, pretending to be avidly interested in simply watching Michael play his game, which he honestly couldn't even clearly see.

Any qualms Haley had about her "boys" meeting went away that night. She went to sleep soundly, feeling right at home in the bed she'd slept in when she lived with her sister. She looked forward to introducing Nathan to another important part of her life and finally seeing Nathan play basketball.

* * *

><p>Nathan watched as Haley walked around his hotel room scoping everything out. He couldn't take his eyes off of her. She was wearing a short black skirt and sleeveless bright blue shirt. Her long hair was left wavy with the sides fastened up in a barrette on the back of her head. She also had on a hint of makeup. She looked stunning….and dressed up. Was this how she dressed when she was around her sister?<p>

Nathan looked at his own outfit. He had on a black polo shirt with a pair of dark jeans and sneakers. He felt severely underdressed.

"This is room is nice," Haley said as she walked into the bathroom and checked that out. She was highly impressed with the separate sit-in bathtub with jets. "You better make use of that bathtub! It looks more like a Jacuzzi."

"Am I dressed okay?" Nathan asked hesitantly. "Are we going out to dinner?"

"No," Haley answered as she headed over to curtains. She pulled them open and saw the view of the pool down below. "Vivian's cooking a pot roast."

"So why are you all dressed up?" Nathan asked.

"For you," Haley said turning around. "I wanted to look nice for you—especially since I was a mess the last time we saw each other in person."

"You look…." Nathan held back the word sexy and replaced it with "great." He still wasn't sure where they stood and wanted her to guide him.

"Thanks." Haley turned back to the window. "So this room is _really nice_."

Nathan noticed it was the second time she'd said that. He took that as the opening he was looking for. He put his hands on the tops of her shoulders. "What are the chances you would want to spend the night in this _really nice_ hotel room with the fancy bathtub?"

He could see Haley's sheepish smile from the reflection in the window.

"I'd say they're _really good_." Haley slowly turned around and clasped her hands around his waist.

"I don't want to take away time with your sister and Michael," Nathan said sincerely as he put his hands behind her shoulders.

"I would just be sleeping."

"Oh no," Nathan said quickly. "I'm not expecting anything, but sleeping. I just wanted to spend the night together."

Haley giggled. "I meant the only thing I would be doing _at Vivian's_ would be sleeping. It's not like _she's_ missing much. Now _you_ on the other hand," she said fiddling with his collar, "could potentially see a more active side to me…"

Nathan swallowed hard. He hadn't expected her to be frisky and forward. "How about we get active right now?"

Haley broke away from him and took him by the hand and let him towards the door. "Not now. My sister's making the big dinner…remember?"

"Nope. Not caring to much about that dinner right now," Nathan muttered. "Or my big game."

* * *

><p>Back at her sister's place, Michael had immediately led Nathan upstairs to his bedroom so they could play his video game together. Haley was slightly disappointed that her sister didn't get much time to spend with him, but was comforted by the idea that Michael already had a shared interest with Nathan. So she let the boys be and helped her sister getting dinner ready.<p>

Like Haley, Vivian was short and petite, but the older she got, the more she look liked Lydia, especially with short blond hair cut. She was dressed casually in a pair of jeans and pin striped boat neck shirt as she worked on making a salad.

"So what do you think? I mean, so far?" Haley asked nervously.

"I can't believe how good looking he is!" Vivian exclaimed. "And he's so big."

Haley smiled and nodded. "Yeah he is and he keeps getting bigger…"

Vivian burst into laughter.

"No, that's not what I mean! I meant he's really built up—like with his muscles." It was the first thing she noticed when she saw him at the hotel. Apparently in training, he'd put a lot of energy into his workouts to compensate for his lack of height. One of the short players on the team, going back to when he was on the D-Fenders, he was always called "Shorty." The nickname just motivated him to beef up as much as he could.

"Uh-huh," Vivian said. "I bet he's big in all kinds of places."

Haley could tell her sister was enjoying getting her riled up. "Viv, are you as shallow as Taylor?"

"No, but you are talking to someone who hasn't been out on a date in years!"

"Well, maybe it's time you start dating. Nathan did get me four tickets to tonight's game…"

"Okay, back to you," Vivian said pointing her knife at her. "One thing I did notice was that you don't seem nervous about him spending time with Michael. That's different. I remember with Steve, you were always afraid to leave them alone."

Haley cringed at the mention of her ex-boyfriend's name. "Well, Steve and Michael didn't exactly get along."

"Steve was nervous around him. You know, I thought that was normal with men….Maybe not. Nathan could be proving me wrong."

"Is that why you're afraid to date?" Haley asked cautiously.

Vivian shrugged. "It's different when you have a child to think of and Michael doesn't do well with change."

"Does Chris still live down the street?" Haley asked. She purposely avoided making eye contact with her sister as she set the table. Chris was a local mechanic who had a dog that Michael loved. He made it a point to stop by and let Michael pet the dog on his twice a day walks. A fan of routine, Michael always looked out for Chris early in the morning and right after dinner.

"Yes…"

"I've always thought he had a thing for you…and he knows Michael. Just saying…"

"And he has that Mavericks t-shirt he always wears—Don't think I don't know what you're implying, Haley Bob. You're as subtle as Ma."

"So I'm going to spend the night with Nathan tonight," Haley blurted out anxiously to change the subject. She knew it was best not to push her sister too much.

"I figured," Vivian said nonchalantly.

"You did?"

"Yeah and I don't blame you. Like I said, the man is hot."

"Vivian! You do sound just like Taylor. And it's not like that," Haley said indignantly.

Vivian turned around from the kitchen counter, placed the salad bowl on the kitchen table and made eye contact with Haley. "Do not try and tell me you're going to spend the night with him and not have sex."

Haley crinkled her eyebrows at her sister. "That's none of your business!"

"It's _me_, Haley! I'm not going to tell Mom if that's what you're worried about."

Haley bit her lip. "She's still mad at me for shutting her out with Nathan, isn't she?"

"Yes. I don't see what the big deal is—why you won't just tell her—but I'm staying out of it!"

"I did lead him to believe we would be sleeping together tonight—well more than sleeping."

"Having sex, Haley. You're a grown woman! You can say those things," Vivian laughed.

Haley's cheeks reddened. "It's just…I'm a little anxious now. He's made it clear that I'm the one in the driver's seat in this relationship and I'm not sure I like that. It's like I don't know what to do."

"What exactly is your relationship status?" Vivian pressed her.

"One of my patients has a Facebook and she told me how there's this option—'It's complicated."

Vivian nodded.

"It's that," Haley sighed.

"Does it need to be?"

"Right now-yes. It's very complicated and we're both putting our careers first."

"But you're here in Texas and he's here at my house," Vivian argued.

"But tomorrow he's back in training and in a week he'll be on the road and I'll be up to ears in data analysis."

"And then you won't have time to talk at all," Vivian mused.

"Oh, no—we will. I'm sure of it," Haley said. She saw the satisfied smirk from her sister and knew she'd been somehow played. "Don't you tell Mom any of this!"

Vivian looked carefully at her sister. "Are you holding something back?"

Haley looked away. "Like I said, it's complicated."

"How complicated?"

Haley knew her sister wasn't going to give up until she pried it out of her. "Dr. Muller told me something a few days ago. Basically, now that he's back, he's trying to get caught up and he's noticed a lot of discrepancies with Dr. Rimkus' work. He won't let me log any more hours with her—for my benefit."

"That's a good thing, right?"

"That's good but it's because he's convinced the California Board of Psychology is going to audit my hours because of Dr. Rimkus' ethics investigation. So between an audit and Dr. Muller looking over my work, I feel like it's just a matter of time before the wrong people learn about my relationship with Nathan. I'm even worried about Dr. Greene finding out and how that could impact my grant work and dissertation."

"Have you talked to Nathan about this?"

"No. He has enough going on right now."

"Doesn't this affect him, too?"

"Not as much as it affects me. Once he signs the contract and as long as he plays well, he doesn't seem to think the Lakers will care. I'm going to tell him though—when the time is right."

"But your career is in jeopardy as long as you continue to see Nathan?"

"No. My career _was_ in jeopardy when I started to see Nathan—that was a long time ago."

"And now there's no going back?"

"No. There's no point in thinking about it so I'm just going to try my best to get as far as I can and put in as my hours with Dr. Muller as possible. This way, maybe I won't even have to submit my hours with Dr. Rimkus."

"I don't know, Haley Bob. This doesn't sound good. You're risking a lot for Nathan."

"No—like I said—it's already done. Now it's all about damage control."

"So your idea of damage control is taking a few days off or work was in order to see his game?"

"I came out here to see you and Michael!"

"Right. It's time to eat," Vivian said brushing passed her. She stood at the bottom of her living room stairs and shouted, "Michael! Nathan! Time to eat! Right now!"

Seconds later, Nathan came rushing down the stairs. "Michael said he'll be down in a minute."

Vivian rolled her eyes. "No, he won't. I'm going to have to go get him myself."

As Vivian went upstairs, Nathan wandered into the kitchen. "Smells great in here."

"How did it go?" Haley asked.

"He's really into that game—_Call of Duty_. He's good too. I guess he plays with people online using his headset."

"Vivian says he's obsessed, but she does like he's interacting with other people."

"One of them is forty year old guy, Haley."

"That's not good," Haley said taking a seat at the table. "We need to keep an eye on that."

Nathan took the seat adjacent to her at the small, square shaped table.

"Hey, Nathan, want to do me a favor?" Haley whispered.

Nathan leaned in closer. "Sure. I'd love it for you to owe me a favor—maybe I'll think of a way for you to pay that back tonight," he smirked.

Haley gave him a soft tap. "Focus! Pretend like you have to get back early. Ask Vivian if you can take the car."

"I don't want to do that," Nathan said sitting up straight.

"Fine. I'll take care of it myself," Haley said calmly putting her napkin on her lap. "And now I don't owe you a thing!"

Michael came down the stairs grumbling. "We were right in the middle of an attack!" He stopped short when he reached the kitchen and began waving his hands.

"What's wrong?" Haley asked as she started to stand.

Nathan turned around and quickly surmised this was Michael's version of anxiety attack.

"Michael, tell me," Haley said calmly.

Michael's face turned red as he shook with anger and waved his hands. "He can't! He can't!"

Vivian came down the stairs, saw Michael was upset and went and stood in front of him. She was very calm and seemed to understand exactly what was going on. Knowing her sister had it control, Haley retook her seat, but Nathan remained on edge. He turned his back to them and nervously poured himself a glass of water.

"If you ask him nicely," Vivian whispered, "I bet he'll move."

"It's my seat! He _has to_ move!" Michael yelled.

Nathan quickly stood up, but when he turned around, Vivian's slight shake of her head, told him to sit back down.

"He's our guest," Vivian reminded him. "We talked about this, remember? Do you want a sticker on the board?"

Michael looked longingly at the board on the side of the refrigerator. "Um," he said cracking his knuckles, "Nathan, can I sit in my seat?" He spat out.

"Sure thing," Nathan said getting up. He took Vivian's cue and sat on the other side of Haley.

Vivian and Michael took their seats.

Nathan immediately reached to grab the steaming bowl of mashed potatoes when he noticed three sets of eyes staring at him.

"We usually say _Grace_ at family dinners," Haley said softly.

"Oh," Nathan said sheepishly as he retracted his hand.

"It's okay," Vivian said kindly. "Michael, why don't you lead us?"

The four of them joined hands and looked down as Michael solemnly lead them in the traditional prayer. After they began passing around the food and filling their plates.

Nathan was extremely embarrassed at his etiquette failure. He was also impressed with this homemade meal and family style dinner. It was also so unfamiliar to him, yet he felt oddly at home. He figured it was supposed to be that way. It felt good and put him into a great mindset for his game. His teammates, who also had lots of family members and friends visiting for this game, were all out doing the same thing. Nathan realized how lost he would feel if he didn't have this opportunity.

Once they started eating, Haley started up the conversation. "Michael, how are things going with Mrs. Smith?"

"She hates me and never calls on me," Michael muttered.

"We've gone over this, Michael," Vivian said sternly. "She can't call on you for the answer to every question."

"But I know the answer! And she asks for volunteers! I always raise my hand before anyone else and she always waits and calls on someone else."

"Michael," Haley jumped in, "you know everyone's brain works differently? Well, some kids need more time than you do to answer the question. She's just giving them more time."

"Those kids are stupid. So is Mrs. Smith. I catch her making mistakes all the time when she does math on the board."

Nathan snickered as he thought about that.

"Mrs. Smith does get annoyed with you," Vivian reluctantly agreed. She looked over at Haley. "The woman emails me just about every day with a new complaint!"

"There are a lot of people like that in the world," Haley said sadly. "Maybe the Special Education teacher can help?"

"Mr. Tyson isn't a big fan of Mrs. Smith either," Vivian said. "He's working on it though. I just keep telling Michael, we have the whole year with her, so we need to learn to deal with her."

"And she needs to learn how to deal with Michael," Haley said huffily.

Nathan decided it was time to enter the conversation. "I had a Mrs. Smith but she taught high school science—"

"I had her too for AP Bio!" Haley exclaimed.

Nathan turned his nose up. "Yeah, I didn't. Anyway, she was old and ugly and talked with a nasally voice," he said mimicking her.

Everyone laughed at Nathan's imitation.

"She was a nice lady!" Haley said defensively once she stopped laughing.

"You were probably a teacher's pet," Nathan scoffed.

"She had a pet in school?" Michael asked with amazement.

"It's an expression," Vivian explained.

"It means your Aunt Haley kissed her butt," Nathan added.

Michael's eyes widened then he burst into a giddy laughter.

Nathan quickly realized this expression was worse than the last. "Not literally. I mean she was very nice to her so that Mrs. Smith would like her and give her good grades."

"I earned my A +, thank you very much!" Haley said indignantly. "And she's not old and ugly!"

"Haley," Vivian said seriously, "I had her when I was in high school and she was old and ugly then."

Nathan proudly beamed. "I told you. She also," he began mimicking her, " loved her cats. She had lots of cats. Oreo and Muffin and Lucky. She always had to get home to the cats!"

Michael once again found this hilarious. "Mrs. Smith at my school has a cat too!"

"Yeah, well I wouldn't laugh so hard," Haley cautioned Michael. "I would rather be a teacher's pet than a class clown. Isn't that right, Vivian?"

"It wouldn't hurt to try and get on Mrs. Smith good side," Vivian said to Michael. "Be extra nice to her."

Nathan decided to try and change the subject. "So, Michael told me the three of you have a band."

"I did not!" Michael protested. "I said how Aunt Haley plays the piano and Mom sings and I play the violin—except I like the guitar better now. It's not a band. We don't rehearse or have any shows."

"It's so much cooler," Vivian said overdramatically.

"Maybe the three of you could play something for me after dinner?" Nathan asked hopefully.

"I haven't played in years, Nathan," Haley said dismissively.

"Oh, come on, Haley. We can whip something together," Vivian said.

"He is our guest," Michael said seriously. "Mom said we have to do what he wants."

"Well, that's what I want," Nathan said happily.

Michael looked at Nathan, dead on. "Are you Aunt Haley's boyfriend?"

"Michael," Vivian said sharply.

"You said I get a sticker if I ask him personal questions," Michael said to his mother. "So, are you?" He asked Nathan.

"I'm going to let your Aunt Haley answer that one," Nathan said turning his attention to his meal.

Under the table, Haley discreetly moved her foot over and brushed it along Nathan's leg. He stopped eating and froze in place. "Nathan's my best friend."

"I thought Lucas was your best friend," Michael countered.

"He is."

"Best means best. You can't have two best friends," Michael concluded. "Eddie is my best friend."

"Well," Haley said still rubbing her foot along Nathan's leg, "Lucas was my childhood best friend. Nathan's my adult best friend."

"Yes," Nathan said finally bringing himself to look at Haley. "We're adults."

Haley slowly brought her foot away from him and gave him a pout.

"Eddie will always be my friend," Michael said firmly. "And I have a girlfriend too. Her name is Michelle and she's Aspie."

Vivian looked surprised. "Michelle's your girlfriend? When did this happen?"

"I asked her at group and she said yes. She's my girlfriend."

"What is she like?" Haley asked.

Michael put down his fork and started to wiggle around in his chair. "Uh, she….she's Aspie."

Haley realized she needed to be more specific. "What does she look like?"

"She…She's really pretty," Michael said with a giant smile causing everyone to laugh.

"So what color hair does she have?" Nathan asked.

"Her hair…" Michael's face flushed red and he began tugging at his neck collar.

Vivian stopped eating and stared at her son. "Is everything okay?"

Michael's hand flew down to his belt. He started unbuckling it as he spoke. "Her hair got caught in my notebook and I had to touch it –"

Vivian shot to her feet. "What are you doing?"

Michael took off his belt and flung it on the floor. "I'm itchy." He put his hands down by his zipper and began rubbing. "It's itchy, Mom! Mom, why is it itchy?"

From across the table, Nathan understood exactly what was going on. He flashed back to being in middle school and having to run out of class after inadvertently getting a peak down a newly chesty Bevin Mirskey's shirt when she bent down to pick up a pen just by his desk. He looked at Vivian and read her mixture of embarrassment, fear and hesitation.

Nathan cleared his throat. "Uh, I think I know why you're so itchy. It's kind of a guy thing."

Michael stood up and clasped his hands over his private area. Tears filled his eyes. "Make it stop!"

Vivian looked helplessly at Nathan.

Nathan took the cue and stood up. "Maybe I could have a talk with him?"

Vivian put her hand to her forehead. "I guess—"

"Viv, let him," Haley urged her.

"Upstairs, I guess," Vivian said pointing towards the living room.

Nathan walked around the table towards Michael. Before he could reach him, Michael took off like a lightning bolt heading towards the living room. They could hear his heavy footsteps as he ran up the stairs.

"What do you want me to do?" Nathan asked nervously.

"I don't know," Vivian said desperately. "I've never had to deal with this!"

"It's actually pretty normal for his age," Nathan reassured her.

"You can trust him to deal with it," Haley said with great conviction.

"Just go," Vivian said pointing.

As soon as he was out of earshot, Vivian sat back down and leaned towards Haley. "I can trust him? Like really trust him?"

"Yes," Haley said confidently. "I am 100% sure."

Vivian put her head into her hands. "I can't deal with this, Haley!"

"Nathan's right—this is normal—and Nathan will help him through it. He's very good with children."

Vivian lifted her head and pointed at Haley. "After this—you better marry that man!"

Haley laughed. "I'm not going to let him go, that's for sure."

Vivian cocked her head and looked curiously at Haley. "No marriage disclaimers? Come on, Haley Bob. I want you lash at out me and tell me you're 'never getting married!"

"I'm not getting married—anytime soon."

Vivian smiled. "Wow. Tell me more."

"Vivian, don't read too much into this. I told you things were complicated….but I'm also in this for the long haul with him. I'm going to see where it goes."

Vivian nodded approvingly. "Mom was right—he is the one."

"You believe that? In 'the one'?" Haley asked skeptically. "After what happened to you? You were so sure about Joe…"

"I made a mistake with Joe. It happens. I don't regret it either. How could I when I have Michael? I am nervous about what's ahead though. With Dad gone, I don't think Michael has a strong male role-model in his life."

In her heart, she knew Nathan would be a perfect guy to guide Michael in his teen years. He was caring, empathetic, but also honest and forthcoming. He wouldn't shy away from Michael's sometimes abrasive attitude or demanding requests. He would also keep Vivian in the loop. Haley held back volunteering Nathan's efforts though. She didn't want to put that responsibility on him without talking to him first—especially when his career was just taking off.

"Do you want me to go up and check on them?" Haley asked.

"No," Vivian said shaking her head. "If you trust him, that's enough for me. Let's give it a few minutes…So Mom said he was going to visit her. Are you going to go?"

"I'll probably be busy with work."

"That sounds like the Haley I know!"

"I've actually been thinking a lot about Tree Hill lately," Haley quietly revealed.

"In what way?"

"Like maybe after I get my Ph.D. I'll move back there."

"Mom would love that!" Vivian grew quiet for a moment as she focused on her food. "I'm sorry, Haley, that you left Tree Hill for us."

"I'm not. I loved living here with you and Michael."

"We loved having you but…I wonder if your life would be different if you stayed in Tree Hill."

"Vivian," Haley said firmly, "I am exactly where I want to be right now. I wouldn't change a thing."

"I don't know," Vivian said slowly. "You could have had Nathan that much sooner."

"Nathan and I in high school _never _would have worked!"

"How do you know?"

"I know," Haley said assuredly.

"You don't….but you do seem blissfully happy now."

"I don't know about blissful. Sometimes I feel this is an illusion and any minute the real world is going to come crashing in on us."

"Don't think that way.—"

The ladies quieted down as Nathan popped back into room. "He'll be down in a minute."

"How did it go?" Vivian asked shrugging her shoulders and wincing.

"He's fine. He had some questions—and I answered them—honestly—I hope that's okay," Nathan said nervously.

"Is that the first time that happened to him? I feel like a horrible mother! His pediatrician talked to him about it, but I wasn't there and I didn't want to think about it so—"

"Vivian," Nathan said calmly, "he's fine. I think it's the first time it happened like that, but he said he sometimes gets 'itchy' when he goes to bed."

"Did you tell him what to do if he gets 'itchy' in class?" Haley asked thinking about how Michael struggled with normal social conventions.

"I did," Nathan confirmed. "But I also talked to him about how to stop it from getting 'itchy.' It takes a while to learn self-control."

Vivian leaned in towards Nathan and lowered her voice. "What do you do then? I mean if it happens in class?"

"Honestly, Viv!" Haley said laughing.

"I don't know," Vivian said straightening up.

As Nathan looked from Vivian to Haley, he saw small traces of Lydia in each of them. He could only imagine what it would be like to be in the same room with them—or all of the James! He found himself looking forward to meeting Paul and Quinn when they came to his game in Charlotte. He was more excited to see them—and Lydia—than he was to see his own mother, who was flying in for his home preseason game in a few days. "I told him he needs to go to the bathroom."

"Or the school nurse," Haley said.

"I never went to the school nurse," Nathan said.

"Oh, he knows the school nurse very well," Haley explained. "He sees her for something just about every day, right Viv?"

"He's better this year, but the school year did just start." Vivian looked back at Nathan with great intrigue. "So this happened to you when you were in school? And you went to the bathroom?"

"Vivian, let him be!" Haley pleaded. "I'm sure that Michael asked enough embarrassing questions to last Nathan a lifetime!"

Vivian reached over and patted Nathan's arm. "I'm so sorry, Nathan. You have no idea how embarrassed I am."

"I just hope I didn't mess the kid up," Nathan said sheepishly.

"I'm sure you didn't," Haley said. She caught his eye and gave him a confident smile.

Nathan got that warm feeling inside—much like he one when he first met Matthew and Haley gave him those adoring eyes. Unlike in basketball when he could take a shot and brace from the roar of the crowd as he made the basket, this feeling always came unexpectedly.

Michael came back down a few minutes later. He slid into his chair and wordlessly began eating.

"So are you excited for the game tonight?" Vivian asked Nathan.

"Mostly because you guys are coming—"

"Nathan, did you tell Mom?" Michael interrupted as he grabbed his glass of milk.

"Right," Nathan said after realizing what he meant. "You can give Michael some of his stickers. He did ask a lot of questions," he said shooting his eyebrows up at Haley.

"After dinner we'll look at your board," Vivian said.

"But I don't want you to forget."

"I won't forget. You won't let me."

"Mom! You have to put the stickers on! I need to see how many I need to get a reward!"

"Michael, finish your dinner," Vivian said sternly.

Michael scowled and reluctantly went back to his dinner.

"So your game?" Vivian asked turning her attention back to Nathan.

"It's just preseason, so they test things out, but this is the first time a lot of us will have friends and families in the stands—"

"Fifteen!" Michael said triumphantly as he almost jumped out of his chair. "I should get fifteen stickers!"

Vivian made it a point not to acknowledge her son. "So is that by chance? Do they have family in Texas or did people fly in?"

"Both. Some flew in from Cali—"

Now back in his chair, sitting on his knees, Michael bounced up and down as he looked around the table. "Two more stickers and I get a reward!"

"Some live in Texas—"

"Nathan! Nathan!" Michael said loudly. "I got a question! Do you have sex with Aunt Haley?"

The question came out so fast, everyone had to think it over to be sure they heard it correctly. When they realized they had, they all looked at Michael with shocked expressions.

Nathan was speechless. Admittedly, he'd told the kid he could ask him anything, anytime, especially when it came to that sort of thing, but didn't the kid understand there were limits? No, apparently not. He did say "anything, anytime."

As Nathan sat there with his mouth dropped open and Haley turned the deepest shade of red she could without even looking at anyone, it was Vivian who first recovered.

"Michael! You can't ask things like that!" Vivian snapped.

"But he said—"

"I don't care what he said! You don't talk about sex at the dinner table!"

"But we talk about it in school—in health class. And Nathan said that sometimes Aunt Haley gets him excited when she looks at him and he need to think about the cat lady, Mrs. Smith, but I now I remember in health class, they said something about people getting excited—"

"STOP!" Vivian yelled putting her hand up.

"Why?" Michael whined. "I want to know!"

At this point, Nathan and Haley couldn't look at each other. The both stared into their dinner plates as if their lives depended on it.

"Michael," Vivian said softening. "It's not appropriate to ask anyone if they're having sex. It's a very private, personal thing."

"But Nathan told me about he gets with Aunt Haley—"

"He asked," Nathan felt the need to clarify as he finally looked up. He looked at Michael. "Listen, Buddy, I know what I told you but that was guy talk. You know what that is? It's things we just keep between us guys and you're only allowed to tell your mom-but in private."

Michael looked around the table at each of them. He slowly sunk back in his chair and looked down at his lap. His lips began to tremble and tears started to stream down his face. "Mom, he didn't tell me it was guy talk."

Haley's heart melted, as it did many times over the years with her nephew. Although many people couldn't see it, Michael was a very sensitive boy and cared deeply about the people closest to him. It always bothered him when he unintentionally hurt their feelings.

"You're right," Nathan said clearly. "That was my fault. You don't need to be upset. I'm not mad."

"He's not," Haley reinforced. "It's okay, Michael."

"Tell you what; how about you pick out the song that you can play after dinner?" Nathan suggested.

Michael snapped right out of his mood. "I want to play my guitar!"

"And we need something all three of us can do," Vivian said. "Something we've played before."

"I know!" Michael said. "Let's play the one we played at Grampa's funeral! Yeah, I want to play that one!"

Vivian and Haley exchanged nervous looks. When they performed that song at their father's funeral mass, they brought everyone to tears—except for Michael. Michael had reveled in playing the piece and loved the words of praise that followed.

"We haven't played that in a while," Haley said quietly.

"I still have the sheet music! It's in my room!"

Haley looked back at her sister. Vivian shrugged. It looked like they were going to have to perform that song.

"It's only Nathan," Vivian said teasingly. "We don't really care what he thinks of us anyway! He's already seen how crazy we are!

Vivian's tone made both Haley and Nathan smile. Obviously, Nathan had won over Vivian.

XXXX

As Haley and Michael were upstairs looking for the sheet music, Nathan stayed downstairs. Vivian refused to let him help clean up from dinner, so he headed into the living room to check out the family pictures. He was looking at a family shot taken when Haley was about four years old.

Finished clearing off the table, but holding off on the dishes, Vivian joined Nathan looking at the pictures.

"Was this taken on the Fourth of July?" Nathan asked pointing to the flag, a young Haley had in her hands.

"It was. It was a big deal in our family."

"Haley told me." Nathan looked at a few of the other pictures and settled on one where Haley was cradling a newborn Michael. "God, she was always beautiful, huh?"

Vivian put her hand on Nathan's shoulder. "You know that is my son she's holding. Most people comment on him."

"He's cute too—"

"I'm just teasing." Vivian stepped to her right and pointed to a professional headshot of Haley at age eighteen. She had long straight hair and was resting her head across the palm of her hands. "Look at this one."

"Was that her yearbook picture?" Nathan asked as the corners of his mouth curled up. The picture looked very much like the teenage daughter in his dreams.

"It was. She's a natural beauty—just like Quinn."

"I would have noticed her you know. I mean in high school," Nathan clarified. "I eventually would have….but I'm glad she moved out here with you. I can see how close you are."

"I guess it all worked out," Vivian said weakly.

"It did." Nathan made eye contact with Vivian and held it. "I love her, you know."

"I know," Vivian said shaking her head and pursing her lips together.

"Your mom knows, but I needed you to know that too. I know how much Haley looks up to you."

"And how much my experiences have shaped her," Vivian said disappointedly. "I never meant for that to happen and I'm sorry if that's left her a bit jaded. Can I give you one piece of advice with her, Nathan?"

"Sure."

"Be patient with her. She always comes around, but she likes to take her own way and sometimes that takes longer."

Nathan nodded. He could already see that with all her disclaimers and rules that always seemed to fade away. "I got nothing but time."

"Good." Vivian looked carefully at Nathan. "Michael doesn't have many good male role-models in his life. Actually, the only male he's been real close to is my father. They used to have guy talks too."

"He's a good kid—he's got a good sense of humor."

"Michael also seems to have taken a liking to you."

"Yeah because he can kick my ass at _Call of Duty_." Nathan rubbed at the corner of his chin. "I have an idea. It can be part of your reward system and I can keep in touch with him. I can also use it to keep tabs on who he's playing online with and report back to you."

"What is it?"

"I want to get something for Michael—"

"No, you don't have to get him anything."

"It's not just for him. It would be a surprise for Haley too. How are you keeping secrets?"

"Stop talking about me!" Haley said as she came bouncing down the stairs.

"Aren't you a little high on yourself?" Nathan joked to cover the sudden silence. He and Vivian exchanged looks privately agreeing to continue the conversation later.

Haley took a seat at the piano that was in the corner of the room. She spread out her sheet music across the top and flipped open the cover. She looked down at the keys nervously. She reminded herself that playing was just like riding a bike…it would all come back to her. She put her fingers to the keys and staring warming up.

Nathan sat down on the couch and watched Haley. He was still floored that a short while ago, he never even knew this side of Haley existed. They clearly still had a lot to learn about one another. He wondered what she didn't know about him. Nothing he could think of but he was also sure Haley didn't intentionally hold this back. Perhaps there was something he subconsciously wasn't sharing with her.

Michael came down the stairs carrying his guitar. "I'm ready," he said breathlessly.

"What song is it?" Nathan asked curiously.

Vivian cleared her throat. "It's 'I Will Remember You' by Sarah McLachlan."

"Oh boy," Nathan said under his breath. He knew the song.

Michael sat down on the loveseat and tuned his guitar. Vivian took her spot midway between Haley and Michael.

"Ready little sis?" Vivian asked with wide, hopeful eyes.

"I can't believe we're going to do this," Haley giggled nervously. It was a nervous kind of excitement, as opposed to the dread and fear she felt at the mass. This time, the vibe in the air was different. The song would be what it was supposed to be. Instead of a sad reminder of the loss of her father, it was a celebration of his life. It mimicked her changed perception of her father's birthday—thanks to Nathan.

As soon as the first chords rang out, Haley, Vivian and Michael were transformed into different people. Michael, whose body posture had been formal and stiff, was slouched over his guitar looking very cool and relaxed like a true musician. Vivian was also in her element. She had her eyes closed and her hands were animated. However, it was Haley's transition that captivated Nathan. She wasn't shy or embarrassed, but instead confident and responsive. As she played, she looked from Michael to Vivian to Nathan, all with a jubilant smile across her face.

Nathan also was impressed at the tone. It wasn't overly sad, but instead poignant and heartfelt as Vivian softly sang out the words to the song.

"_I will remember you, will you remember me?__  
><em>_Don't let your life pass you by,__  
><em>_Weep not for the memories__  
><em>_Remember the good times that we had?__  
><em>_I let them slip away from us when things got bad.__  
><em>_How clearly I first saw you smilin' in the sun__  
><em>_Want to feel your warmth upon me__  
><em>_I want to be the one__I will remember you, will you remember me?__  
><em>_Don't let your life pass you by__  
><em>_Weep not for the memories__I'm so tired but I can't sleep__  
><em>_Standin' on the edge of something much to deep__  
><em>_It's funny how we feel so much but we cannot say a word__  
><em>_We are screaming inside, but we can't be heard__I'm so afraid to love you__  
><em>_But more afraid to lose__  
><em>_Clinging to a past that doesn't let me choose__  
><em>_Once there was a darkness__  
><em>_Deep and endless night__  
><em>_You gave me everything you had, oh you gave me life__"_

When the song was finished, Haley and Vivian shared an emotional hug while Michael sought praise from Nathan. "Did I do good?" He asked loudly.

"You were awesome!" Nathan said leaning forward and shaking his head.

Michael started to strum on his guitar drowning out the voices around him. "What do you want me to play now? I can play _anything_. Test me."

"Michael, give Nathan a rest," Vivian said.

"Oh, Michael," Haley said, "I want Nathan to see you play the violin. He needs to see how talented you are with that instrument."

Michael flew upstairs and Haley sat down on the couch next to Nathan and nestled herself into his arms.

"You have time for one more song don't you?" Haley asked sweetly.

"I'll have time for two if you play one more," Nathan said holding her gaze.

"Just one." Haley felt a tickle in her throat as Nathan continued to look at her so intensely. "What?" She asked self-consciously.

"You…" Nathan answered simply. As her cheeks blushed, he found himself unable to say anymore. With their time drawing to a near, he started to wonder how things would end. Would she kiss him? It had to be that way. She had to be the one to take control and bring the fire back to their relationship. So far, all signs indicated she would and if not before his game, then after. However, Nathan was desperate to feel her lips on his. Selfishly, he hoped she'd give him that pleasure before his game. It would help take the edge off his nerves.

Haley rested her head on Nathan's shoulder. It felt so good to be back in his arms again. As her thoughts brushed over the night ahead, she grew giddy with anticipation. She settled back down when Michael came down and started playing. Michael's music always brought her peace and serenity. Music was truly his gift to the world. Although she knew he was enjoying playing the guitar, Haley believed his strongest asset was playing the violin. It came so effortlessly to him and over the years, they struggled to find teachers who could truly challenge him. Often times, he could hear a piece just once and play it from memory.

She also loved how Michael was able to connect to people through his music. He loved having an audience and it didn't matter if it was just a few people or a large crowd. He always played his best. After hearing him, people always wanted to meet Michael. It seemed that after hearing his music, they found it easier to accept his raw honesty and lack of social graces.

When he was finished with that piece, Michael wanted to play another, but it was time for Nathan to go. As planned, Haley pleaded her case to her sister for Nathan taking her car, prompting Vivian to call her friendly neighbor Chris for a ride and subsequent offer to go to the game. Haley knew her mother would be proud of that little plan.

Haley walked Nathan out to the car feeling like she was on cloud nine. When they stopped in front of Vivian's car, she just had to touch him. She wrapped her arms around his waist and looked up at him, her eyes filled with love, excitement and happiness…Maybe Vivian was right—it did feel blissful.

"So I'll leave the car at the hotel?" Nathan asked. "And they'll give you a ride there and pick it up?"

"Mmm hmm."

"And you have a key to my room…But if you change your mind, I'll understand. I get that you should be with your family."

"I'm not going to change my mind," Haley said as she wrinkled her nose at him.

Nathan purposely gave her his smoldering eyes and let the sexual tension fill the small gap between their bodies. It helped a little as she pushed in closer, letting her breasts fall against his body, but those lips were still too far away. "I like being with your family. Thank you for letting me do this."

Haley pushed up on the tip of her toes and kissed on side of his neck and the other. "You're becoming part of my family," she whispered tenderly into his ear.

Nathan felt a chill go down his spine and land at his feet. Those lips….he needed them….and not on his neck…but Haley continued talking.

"You are amazing, Nathan. Every time we go somewhere and meet new people, I see something else I love in you."

Funny, he felt the same way about her, but couldn't say it. It was as if his ability to verbalize his emotions were paralyzed until he got that kiss. So instead, he went to humor. "You haven't even seen me play basketball yet."

"When are you going to see that you have so much more to offer than basketball?" Haley asked with heavy sincerity.

"When are you going to stop playing psychological tricks on me, Doc?" Nathan asked with a slight smirk.

"It's not a trick," Haley said quietly as she leaned in closer, her lips moving towards his.

"It's not?" Now that she was caving, Nathan's resolve returned and he stayed firmly in place letting her come to him.

"No." Haley stopped just outside his lips. She took in his musky sent and the feel of his warm breath. She tried to ingrain all of it into her mind. It had been far too long since they shared a kiss. Why was that again? Her mind was foggy, cluttered only with feelings of love and lust. Holding back felt so silly in this moment.

It was as if the same chill that went through his body shot up like a bolt of electricity from his toes right out his fingertips. Nathan forcefully put his hands on either side of Haley's head and brought to him. He smacked his lips on hers.

Once she recovered from his use of force, Haley responded with equal enthusiasm. She brought her arms up around his shoulders, leaned back up on her toes, and opened her mouth wider.

Nathan didn't hesitate to slip his tongue into her mouth. They continued to kiss until suddenly, out of nowhere, rain began to pour down over them.

They kept their arms around each other, looked up to the sky and laughed as their bodies became drenched. They looked back at each other and fought to keep the water out of their eyes.

"You should go," Haley shouted out over the sounds of the pelting rain.

"I don't want to. This is too much fun," Nathan shouted back.

Haley figured she should remind him of what he was doing in Texas in the first place—playing basketball. "You're going to do great tonight!"

"What?"

"You're going to do great!" Haley yelled.

"What? I couldn't hear you!"

"You're going to—" Haley stopped when she saw his lip twitch. "You heard me."

"If you don't stop looking at me like that, I'm going to have to kiss you again."

Haley ran her hand through her hair and pushed it away from her face. "Well, if you have to…"

This time, Haley held one foot up and pushed up on the other and threw herself into a series of fierce kisses. They only broke away when a roar of thunder crackled from above.

Haley broke away from Nathan and pushed him toward the car. He opened the car door but turned around to face her.

Haley with her arms across her chest, took a step backward. "I love you, Nathan Scott, but you have to go!"

"What?"

"I said I love you! Now go!"

Nathan smiled. "One more time."

This time Haley mouthed the words. "I love you."

Nathan couldn't imagine a better send off into his game. No amount of practice and mental preparation could give him the same confidence he'd just gotten from Haley. "I'm gonna play for you tonight, Haley James."

Haley stood in place and waved at him. She stood there, continuing to get soaked until he drove off, out of her eyesight. Then, she ran back inside, as the coldness of the rain over her body came over her as suddenly as that pouring rain.

* * *

><p>Preview of next chapter: "Rhythm of Love" (Plain White T's)<p>

AN: I know this chapter wasn't worth the wait and unfortunately, my life isn't getting any easier. As I've said before, I will always finish a story I start, but don't expect updates like I used to for the time being. When it comes to writing, my main priority here is to finish posting _Far Away_, because I feel like I owe that to those readers who have been with me from the start. I hope the readers of this story, stick with it because there is much more on the way but I will be taking my time. Rushing doesn't get me anywhere and is not conducive to my creative process and editing is still a major chore that I despise.

The next chapter has a little more Vivian and Michael but is mostly Naley. I think you will enjoy it although I did tone it down a bit per new guidelines (which also slowed me down). I'd love to hear your thoughts on these secondary characters. As I've said in my last AN, I do have direct experiences with tweens and teens who have Asperger's. I've combined what I've learned to write for Michael and I do have some small plans for him in the future. Hope you enjoyed and thank you for waiting. I did give you a quick rain scene, which I had been dying to do! I just couldn't visualize it in summer in California so I hope fall in Texas worked. I also have a short sneak peek if you want it. I'll send them out this weekend.

Thank you for your support! The reviews, favorites and alerts remind me I have people waiting. Don't give up on me, and I will not let you down as long as you have patience.


	38. Chapter 38

**Disclaimer #1**: Characters, minor plot points and dialogue belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and _One Tree Hill_ writers.

**Disclaimer #2**: Although my career is in the field of psychology, I have taken a lot of liberties with my story. My background is nothing like Haley's in this story. Her story only has _a little_ basis in reality. I know many people in that field who have given me inspiration for details here and there, but this situation is entirely fictional. Please don't take what you read as fact, especially when it comes to the research discussed and ethics of practicing psychology. As with all my stories, you have to use the suspension of disbelief, just as you do with our favorite tv show. The examples in this story are merely for plot purposes. If you do have questions or concerns about the psychological elements of the story, please feel free to **pm me**. I'd love to discuss! If you simply leave me an anonymous review, I can't respond and clear up any confusion, such as the point of view and plot of the story. So please, get in touch **directly**!

Chapter 38: "Rhythm of Love" (Plain White T's)

Freshly changed into his uniform, Nathan was straightening out his locker when one of the assistant coaches let him know the head coach wanted to see him. Devon Fox, who was off to his left standing with a few teammates, shot him a nasty look as he walked by. Tony Battle followed him and gave him a reassuring pat on the back.

"Any idea what he wants?" Nathan nervously asked Tony.

"Probably wants to see where your head is at tonight," Tony responded. "I have a feeling this is going to be it. With two weeks left of training they need to firm things up."

"Yeah, it's about time they do that. The team needs to know what direction to go in."

"You set 'em straight, Nate. Good luck, man."

Nathan nodded and took the final steps towards Coach Rivera's door. The stern, bald man in his early fifties was sitting at his desk analyzing a set of plays. He only looked up when Nathan knocked at the door.

"Scott," Coach Rivera said looking up and waving him in. "Come on it. Have a seat—and close the door behind you."

Nathan hid his nerves as he shut the door and took a seat by the coach's desk. The long glass windows show his teammates, including Devon, closely watching the exchange. Nathan ignored them and focused on his coach. "What can I do for you?"

"I wanted to talk to you private—no agents, owners or media—man-to-man. Tell me where you stand. Do you want to play for this team or not?"

"More than anything," Nathan answered emphatically.

"So then what's the hold up? Is it money?"

"I think," Nathan said slowly pausing to carefully choose his words, "that two years would give me the security I need to grow with the team."

"Two years…That's it?" Coach Rivera asked skeptically.

"Yes," Nathan answered firmly. "Now can I ask you a question? What's the hold up on your end? Is this about me or more about Devon?"

This time the coach took some time to respond. "I've been struggling with letting Fox go…His stats are hard to argue with…He's put some serious numbers on the board over the past few years."

"What about wins? Isn't that more important?" Nathan asked. "I mean, if you're looking for wins—_I'm your guy_. I'm a _team player_. Haven't you seen that in tryouts and in preseason?"

Coach Rivera sighed and remained silent as he looked Nathan over. "Okay. Let me level with you. I've had my concerns about you and your little scuffle at the end of last season didn't help."

Nathan looked his coach directly in the eye. "That was last season. I'm not that guy anymore."

"I've seen a noticeable difference in your temperament from last season. Still, I have a strict code of moral ethics for my team. I've come a long way for my reputation to be tarnished by a hothead player who can't keep his emotions in check."

"You don't have to worry about that with me, Coach."

"I believe you mean that, but I'm still insisting on the morality clause in your contract. Now if you stay out of trouble, it won't be a problem. For some reason, the organization said your agent is playing hardball with that, which concerns me. Is there something I should know? Any past issues with illegal substances? Performance enhancers?"

"No, no. Well, once in high school, but that was it, I swear. Nothing like that is going on now."

"Then what is it? Is this a deal breaker? Because I can get you those two years, Scott, but it comes with that clause, which means no scandals to our team—none at all. Man-to-man, contract or not, that is _my rule_. You understand?"

Nathan solemnly nodded. "It won't be a problem."

"Good." Coach Rivera looked down at the sketches that lay in front of him. "Now, for tonight, got any ideas?"

"Sure. Play me—the _whole_ time. Let me show you why you want me for two years."

"I don't need you to show me. I need everyone else to see why we need to cut Fox loose. Here's what I'm thinking…"

* * *

><p>For someone that wasn't interested in basketball, Michael seemed anxious to get inside the stadium. In his typical fashion, he was walking very quickly and was difficult to keep up with. Luckily, Chris chased after him as Vivian hung back with Haley.<p>

"I'm nervous," Haley confessed.

Vivian laughed. "You are too much! You don't even like basketball."

"It's not about basketball."

"I know," Vivian smiled. She gave Haley a sideways glance. "He loves you, you know."

Haley smiled back as her heart began to flutter. "Why? Did he say something to you?"

"He didn't have to. I saw the way he was looking at you when you were playing the piano. He didn't take his eyes off of you—not once."

A surge of pride flowed through Haley. "I never told him I could play. He's never going to let that go—and he's going to be on me to pick it up again."

"Good," Vivian said happily. "He should. Music is a good outlet for stress, you know."

"Nathan is my outlet for stress. I don't have time for much else."

"Well that man is not a bad outlet for stress. I bet you'll be relieving a lot of stress tonight!"

"I'm kind of nervous about tonight too," Haley said sheepishly.

"Why?"

"Nathan and I—We haven't been together in a while. We were trying to focus on the friends thing, but we shared this steamy kiss out in your driveway—"

"Oh, I saw that steamy kiss," Vivian said in a manner that reminded Haley of their mother.

"You were watching?" Although Haley didn't appreciate her sister peering out the window at them, she liked that her sister had lightened up considerably over the years. She was a far cry from the bitter woman who Haley lived with years back.

"So what's the big deal? You were planning on spending the night. We all know where that was headed."

"See that's the thing. I came on to him without even thinking about it. Nathan, on the other hand, always seems to have his emotions in check while I'm all over the place. It's funny because he started therapy because of his self-control issues but now I feel like I'm the one who needs help."

"You're in love, Haley. It's normal."

"Then what does that say for him?" Haley asked miserably. "I'm not sure he feels the same. Maybe it is just more of friend thing for him."

"I don't think so," Vivian disagreed. "And what about that kiss?"

"He is a guy. I'm sure it was just his pheromones responded."

Vivian chuckled. "Oh, Haley, pheromones don't explain the way he looks at you or what he told me."

"He did tell you something!" Haley exclaimed. "What?"

"That is between Nathan and me."

Haley elbowed her sister. "You bet cut that out or I'm going to leave you alone with Chris all night."

"No, don't!" Vivian said with pleading eyes. "I'll be too nervous. I need you and Michael to help take the edge off."

"I bet a nice cold beer would do the trick."

Vivian looked skeptically at Haley. "Since when do you drink beer?"

Haley shrugged. "I've gotten used to it. Besides, it's not like they serve wine here."

"Haley Bob James, you are not to leave my side during this game! Understand?"

"Relax," Haley said grabbing her sister's arm. "I have my own agenda here, too. I want to see every minute of that game!"

* * *

><p>Haley didn't get to see every minute of that game. In fact, she didn't get to see a single minute Nathan played, unless you count the brief flashes on the television scattered around the stadium.<p>

The first quarter she managed to stay in her seats inside the stadium. Of course, it was during that time Nathan didn't play. He didn't even change out of his warmups. Even during that time, she could see just how intense he was, as he stood, watching the game, never taking a seat and always moving around animatedly. She could tell he was dying to jump in the game, especially since the Lakers were getting crushed.

Just as the second quarter started, Michael began to get antsy. The place was crowded and lively, especially for a preseason game and their seats were close to the floor. Both Haley and Vivian agreed that it was possible that the overstimulation was bothering Michael, so they moved their seats to an empty spot at the back at the far back of the stadium. There, Michael caught wind of the concession stands and started begging for a pretzel.

"I'll take him," Vivian said motioning to get up.

"I want Aunt Haley!" Michael said stomping his foot.

"Michael, calm down," Vivian said gently sensing her son was on the verge of a temper tantrum.

Michael's face began to turn beet red. "Aunt Haley came here to see me! She needs to come with me! I never get to see her anymore!" He started pacing back and forth the aisle. "Please, please, please. You have to! You said I could get something as long as I came—"

Haley stood up and looked at Vivian. "I'll take him."

"I bet he won't play until second half anyway," Chris said.

Vivian pointed at Michael. "You come right back. Aunt Haley doesn't want to miss the game."

Michael bolted up the stairs and Haley had no choice but to take off after him. The line at the concessions was very long. Extremely impatient, Michael insisted they walk around to other concessions to see if there was a shorter line. Each one was as equally long or longer. Haley eventually convinced him to get in a line and wait it out.

Just as they neared the front, Michael had to use the restroom. Knowing Michael's issues with self-control, Haley rushed him there. She waited outside for over twenty minutes before she finally asked a man on his way out to check on him. The man told her he was inside the stall and "almost finished." He was also singing loudly, another odd habit he'd picked up as a youngster as he struggled with concentrating when he used public restrooms. Five minutes later he emerged, but had to go back in after Haley reminded him to wash his hands.

After that, it was back to the long line. This time, Haley noticed the television screen airing the game in corner. It was there she finally caught sight of Nathan playing. He was standing still taking some shots. She watched him make one, then got distracted by the conversation by the guys behind them in line.

"They need to just cut Fox and sign this guy."

"After tonight, they'll have to. Fox was an embarrassment. This guy plays a lot smarter and works better with the team."

"Yeah, but I know Fox has a following back in L.A."

"Give this guy some time and he'll have one too."

"Aunt Haley! It's our turn!" Michael yelled as he rushed up to the concession counter.

After ordering a pretzel, some nachos and some drinks, Michael insisted that they needed to find a quiet place to eat. Haley wasn't thrilled with the idea, but also knew there might be some validity to his argument because of the loud noise inside the stadium. A few minutes later, she changed her mind, when Michael spotted a small arcade. There were only a few video games but enough to light the fire in Michael's eyes. Suddenly, noise and flashing lights didn't seem to be a problem.

At this point, Haley was ready to dig in her heels and head back into the stadium. However, the combination of her knowledge and experience with Asperger's, along with her deep love for her nephew, and guilt over being away from him, steered her into that arcade. Arcades were one of Michael's obsessions. The arcade did have two games they played together over the years—Pac Man and air hockey. The icing on the cake was that Vivian would have more alone time with Chris. Sure, she would ream Haley out for this, but in reality, Haley knew this was a rare opportunity for her sister to test things out. She texted her sister to let her know they were fine, then settled in to eat and play some games. She kept Michael out of his mother's hair, but for longer than she thought. Time slipped away and before long, crowds began buzzing by. Haley checked her phone and saw a text from her sister saying the game was over.

As she prepared to meet up with her sister, Haley was filled with guilt. How could she face Nathan after not seeing him play? Especially after he paid for her to be there…When he was so excited for her to see him play…And after all the time he put into her family!

Her mind began reeling with possibilities as she thought about how to make it up to him—and distract him. It wouldn't be that hard. A few candles, some chilled champagne, that silky nightgown she's packed….that should do the trick.

* * *

><p>Dressed in his shirt, tie and pants, and with this gym bag filled with his dirty clothes, Nathan bolted out of the elevator the second the door opened. He still hated riding those things, and only the prospect of getting to Haley quicker was enough motivation to use it.<p>

When he stepped inside the hotel room, he found a sleeping Haley on his bed. Judging from the lit candles, bucket of champagne on the bureau and television turned on, he guessed that wasn't her intention. He wondered exactly when she fell asleep. Did she get to see the press conference?

It would all have to wait because Haley was sound asleep. He stood at the foot of the bed hoping she might stir, but she didn't. He couldn't stand there much longer, because she looked utterly ravishing. She had on a cream colored silky nightgown and robe and her long hair was fanned out over the pillow. The remote control was falling out of her right hand and left hand was spread out like an open invitation for him. Nathan gently took the remote from her hands and shut off the television. Next, he blew out the candles. With her seemingly still sound asleep, he decided to call it a night as well. He loosened his tie from his neck and headed towards the bathroom.

He turned around when a soft light fell over the room. He saw Haley retracting her hand from the bedside lamp.

"Hey," Haley said as she sat up and rubbed her eyes.

"Hey, sleepyhead," Nathan said keeping his distance. "Go back to sleep. I'll be there in few."

Haley sprung up and stumbled towards Nathan. "No! That's too long. I've been waiting up," she yawned.

Nathan smiled as she reached him. "Don't lie. You fell asleep, Doc."

Haley put her arms around his neck. "I'm up now," she said softly. "And I want to let you know how amazing you were tonight."

"Did you see?" Nathan grinned.

"I was there," Haley said as she shifted her hands to his tie.

"The press conference," Nathan clarified. "I see you had it on."

"No," Haley guiltily admitted. "I must have fallen asleep." She began unbuttoning his shirt and snuck a kiss in on each side of his neck. She backed away, took off her robe so she was left with her spaghetti strapped gown that flowed to a few inches above her knees. She sauntered over to the champagne and very slowly, purposely not looking at him, gave her full attention to slowly pouring them each a glass. She slid over to him and handed him his glass.

Nathan gawked at Haley as she took a long sip from her glass, then licked her lips. Even though his throat was suddenly dry, he didn't take a sip of the champagne. His eyes remained transfixed on Haley. When her eyes met his, it was like a portal that sent the lust in her eyes like a jolt through his body. "Are you trying to seduce me?"

Haley carefully eyed him up and down, her eyes picking up on the slight bulge in his pants. "I have a feeling it wouldn't take much."

In contrast with Haley's artful movements, Nathan hastily took a gulp of his champagne and slammed it down on table next to him. Haley had barely put down her glass when he grabbed her and pulled her close to him. "No, it wouldn't," he huskily confirmed.

As he started to lean in to kiss her, Haley felt guilty. She was sure once their lips met there would be no talking. Although that served her well, she didn't think it was fair to him to not at least acknowledge the game. She pulled slightly back and waited for him to open his eyes. When he did, she read his confusion. She lifted her arms up and put them around his neck and smiled warmly. "I'm so proud of you."

The corner of Nathan's mouth curled up. "You liked seeing me play, huh? Well, tonight I played for you."

Unable to look directly at him, Haley focused on removing his tie.

"Tell me what play you liked the most," Nathan said as he watched her with great amusement.

"Uh," Haley said as unbuttoned his shirt. The only image she had of Nathan playing—the one on the television screen—flashed before her eyes. "The one where the guys were lined up watching you and you took aim and made the shot."

Nathan leaned slightly back. "What?"

"It looked like you were under a lot of pressure," Haley tried to explain as she fumbled with the remaining few buttons.

Nathan clasped his hands over hers. "Are you talking about a free-throw?"

Haley realized her mistake. That didn't exactly qualify as a proud play. She buried her head in his chest and tried to explain her case.

Unable to make out a word she was saying, Nathan kissed the top of her head and then patted her hair. "Slow down, baby."

Haley looked up and immediately found some comfort and understanding in his eyes. She relaxed her shoulders, took a deep breath and began to explain how she really hadn't seen him play. "…Michael has these intense needs sometimes and I haven't been around…and Vivian was sort of on a date—"

"I get it," Nathan assured her. "You were taking care of your family."

"But I didn't get to do what I came here to do—see you play," Haley protested in a whiney voice. "I'm such a bad friend."

"Friend?"

"Best friend."

"Haley…"

"I'm sorry! I don't know what else to say," she said helplessly.

"You came here to see your family—and me. And you're seeing me right now."

Haley let her eyes travel up and down his exposed chest that peeked out from his unbuttoned shirt. "I'm enjoying seeing you tonight," she said in a sultry voice.

Nathan cocked his head to the side. "Is that what this is all about?" He asked looking around. "You didn't have to do this, Haley. We don't have to do anything either. I'm just looking forward to spending the night with you—"

Haley broke away from his grip and took a few steps back. "I think I made a big mistake."

"No, you didn't." Nathan looked deep into her eyes and saw her insecurities ran deeper than spending the night together. "You mean coming here? Or us?" He asked expressing his own deepest insecurity. "Do you regret us being together?"

"No," Haley said emphatically shaking her head. "I regret taking a step back because somewhere along the way, I think we lost something."

"What?"

Haley crossed her arms and looked around the room. "I didn't want your feelings for me to change."

"What?" Nathan asked again, even more confused.

"I want to go back." Haley put her hand to her head, upset with herself for how silly she sounded. She was too smart to say something like that. "That's it. There is no going back. I know that. That's why I regret letting things change."

"Haley, I'm so confused," Nathan said helplessly as he kept his distance.

"I confuse myself," Haley grunted as she sat on the bed.

Nathan went back and tried to break down her words. By the time he sat down next to her, he had an inkling what this was all about. "My feelings never changed for you. I've been holding back so much—letting you take the lead—"

"And I hate that! More than I ever thought I would!"

In a series of swift motions, Nathan pushed her hair over her shoulder and started laying kisses on her neck. "So you want me to stop holding back? And start taking the lead? Like this?"

Haley smiled as she let him have his way with her neck. "Only if you want to…"

Nathan pushed back her silky robe and she leaned back on her elbows. "Oh, I want to." His mouth had barely touched her collarbone when he felt her hands pushing him back.

"Have you been with anyone else?"

"What?" Nathan asked crestfallen at the question.

"The past few weeks, we been doing the friends thing and I've heard stories about groupies—"

"No," Nathan said flatly.

"It's okay—As long as you tell me. Technically, it's not cheating.—"

Nathan gave her a stern look, silencing her. "The past few weeks have been basketball and you—just the way I like it."

"Nathan," Haley said biting down on her lip to stifle her smile.

"Haley," Nathan said mimicking her tone.

Haley reached up and ran her right hand over his shaved head, down behind his ear, then trailed it down his neck. Her fears about his feelings for her were gone, but were replaced with new ones. "I worry about you."

"Why?"

"I'm afraid I can't give you what you need."

Nathan leaned back over her placing one hand on either side of her body. His blue eyes sparkled and his smile gleamed. "Let me decide that and I think-My girl is all I need. Do you need me to sing the song to you?"

"No," Haley said catching his infectious smile. "I want your lips doing something entirely different."

Nathan chased her up the bed so her head landed on the pillow. Their lips met fast and furiously as their bodies smacked up against each other. Things were just starting to get hot and heavy as they broke from their kisses to discard their remaining clothes when there was there was a thunderous knocking from the door. It was followed by a chorus of loud male voices shouting for "Scott" to "come out and play."

Nathan had barely had time to sit up before Haley slid off the bed and ran into the bathroom. He got up, made a half-hearted attempt to rebutton his shirt and gave up. "I'm busy guys. Later," he shouted in the direction of the door.

"No, dude—you are off curfew, man! It's official! Let's celebrate!" Tony Battle's voice boomed.

"We're not taking no for an answer!" Byron, the Laker's small forward, sounded.

"No we aren't," Dwayne, another teammate, echoed.

"Shit," Nathan muttered as he finished buttoning up his shirt. If Byron and Dwayne were there, the two people on the team Devon was closest to, this was a situation he had to address personally.

"Open up, Scott!"

"We know you're there!"

Nathan put the latch on at the top of the door to keep the guys from barging in and opened the door just a crack. "Guys, I seriously need a raincheck, okay?"

Dwayne, the tallest guy on the team at seven feet, peered over Nathan into the room. "He's got company, yo!"

Nathan glanced behind him at Haley's nightgown tossed on the bed. He figured he might as well go with that. "Yeah, man. You know how it is."

"Anyone we know?" Tony asked pushing Dwayne aside. He chuckled as he looked pointedly at Nathan's misbuttoned shirt.

"No, no," Nathan said quickly as he unbuttoned the top few buttons. "Look, you guys gotta go."

"Listen, if things you know, wrap up quickly, shot us a text," Dwayne said.

Nathan wanted to tell them that they had the wrong impression, but he knew better. It was better they think this was a random hookup. "Yeah, man."

"Hey, is that Scott? Congrats!" Malakhi said as he strolled by the group.

"Yeah, Congrats, man," Nino Jones said. "You have your own celebration, then come out with us. We'll show you a real good time."

"You're due," Tony smiled brightly. "And these guys really know how to have a good time!"

"I'll, uh, catch up with you later, alright?" Nathan said with a nod of his head as he shut the door.

As Nathan went to the bathroom door, he was grateful Haley had the sense to hid, but was also surprised. Why was she so concerned?

Haley opened the door just as he was about to knock. "Is it safe to come out?"

"Yeah. What's going on, Hales? Were you hiding for you or for me?"

"Dr. Muller is reviewing my hours. He thinks when I apply for my licensure I'll get audited," Haley blurted out.

"My coach is making me take the morality clause—no scandals," Nathan spat out.

The both took a deep breath as a sense of dread and heaviness filled the air.

"We're right back where we started," Haley finally said breaking the silence.

With his eyes cast downward, Nathan put his fingertips over hers. "No, we're not."

Haley understood his meaning. Their feelings were deeper than they had ever been. They connection they had was nearly unbreakable. It was more than just being in love. It was like they had discovered themselves in each other. They had found their soulmates, something Haley hadn't given much credence to before, but now wholeheartedly believed in. "I don't know what to do—or maybe I do and I just don't want to do it."

"Let me ask you this—are any of our problems going to get worse if we put them aside for the night?" Nathan asked meeting her eyes.

"No, but they'll still be there tomorrow."

"And my guess is we won't have to deal with them tomorrow either. One day at a time, Doc. We can do this," he said confidently.

"You want to do this? Even if it's a risk to your career?" Haley questioned him.

"Like it's a risk to your career?" Nathan shot back.

Haley's racing mind began to piece together things she'd heard. The press conference. Words of congratulations. The morality clause. Her eyes widened. "Did—Did they sign you?"

Nathan squeezed her fingers. "They'll announce that tomorrow, back in L.A. There'll be a press conference where we will sign the paperwork and make it official. Clay is working out the final details. It's why I was so late."

"Nathan!" Haley exclaimed giddily as she bounced up on her toes. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I tried—but then I saw it wasn't that important. For the first time in my life, I have someone that doesn't see me as a basketball player first. You were proud of me without even knowing what happened."

"I see the real you," Haley said still flitting around. "But I am proud of you for achieving your dream."

Nathan scooped her up and her legs clasped around his waist. "And you still haven't seen me play basketball!"

"I will—at home. I can't wait!"

They simultaneously remembered their problems and that things like that weren't so simple.

Nathan went back to his original plan as he laid her down on the bed. "Tonight, I'm going to show you exactly how I feel about you."

"Then I'm going to show you how I feel about you," Haley said shaking her shoulders around.

"God, yeah," Nathan said rolling his neck around. "Let's make tonight last."

Haley reached up and finished unbuttoning his shirt. "So you're not going to meet up with the guys?" She teased.

"Hell no! Those guys had plenty of chances to hit me up for a night out! Now they'll have to take a number."

"Can I have a number? Like number one?" Haley asked, wrinkling her nose at him.

"That's a given." Nathan relaxed his shoulders and let Haley slide his shirt off. He took in the touch of her smooth hands over his shoulders, biceps and arms. Those simple movements invigorated him and he began to feel his self-control slipping away.

Once his shirt was off, Haley's hands went back to his biceps, which she eyed admirably. "You're so big…"

Nathan's cocky smirk flashed at Haley as he pressed his body into hers. "And you haven't even seen—"

Haley reached up her hand to cover his mouth, but she didn't get the chance. Nathan took her breath away with a steamy kiss as he pushed up her nightgown.

Yeah, his self-control was definitely gone.

* * *

><p>He held out as long as he could. It wasn't long enough; pitiful in his estimation.<p>

Haley's begging didn't help either. Or the way she forcefully pulled him in deeper as she clamored for "More, more, more."

The only saving grace was that as his body exploded, because that's what it felt like to him, hers convulsed and shook as she went quiet. It was her telltale signs that she'd enjoyed herself as well.

Still, he could have done better and it was going to eat away at him.

When Haley was finally able to regain her senses, she noticed that in his own way, Nathan was sulking. He was also clinging to her, probably subconsciously for comfort. He was on his side, with one arm tightly secured over her stomach, the other pressed up against her arm with his face buried in her shoulder so he didn't have to make eye contact with her.

Haley understood perfectly what was going on and also knew exactly what she needed to do. He and his male ego seemed to be forever scared by their first time together; a time she admittedly didn't like to think about either. Well, she had at least accepted it for what it was, but would he ever get over it?

Haley pulled back, kissed his forehead as he had done so many times to her, and gently began running her hands over his prickles of hair. "Thank you for showing me how much you love me."

Nathan raised his head. "What? That was not—"

"It was," Haley cooed just before she placed a gentle kiss on his lips. She felt his body relax as he received the kiss. He kissed her back just a gently. The soft kiss flowed freely between them over the next minute.

When she had her mouth back, Haley was determined to make her point clear. "For so long, I fought losing control of my emotions with you. Maybe it was all that psychology in my head, or my insecurities and fears—or maybe it was just my pride….Whatever it was, I wanted so badly to be able to control myself. Now, I can appreciate what you do to me—what we do to each other. We love each other, Nathan," she said looking so intently at him that her eyes began to water.

"I do love you, Hales," Nathan said in a severe tone.

"I know you do," Haley smiled. "And we can't control that—and I don't want to. Everyone keeps telling me how much I've changed since I met you. I can see it now too and I'm okay with it. So when I see you losing control too," she said sweetening her voice, "it makes me feel special—loved. I see you feeling the same way I do."

"I get what you're saying baby," Nathan said appreciatively "but-I can do better."

Instead of being disappointed at her failure to get through to Nathan, she had to laugh. His bravado was one of the things she loved about him. "That's right! You are Nathan Scott, the Laker's new point guard."

Nathan tugged at the small of her back to pull her closer to him. "Seriously, Haley. Remember the last time we were together—at your place?"

"You mean when you ruined things with all your talking?"

"Touché," Nathan said fighting off a smile. "I guess it's good that we can laugh about it now."

"Yes, but I don't want to spend our night talking. We only have tonight and now it's my turn to show you how much I love you."

Nathan cocked and eyebrow, but remained silent.

Haley was waiting for a witty comeback from him, but she soon realized his silence spoke volumes. She pushed him flat on his back, leered over him and flipped her hair over her shoulder. She had changed alright. She had never felt so confident and sexy in all of her life.

* * *

><p>Haley picked up her head from the crux of Nathan's shoulder, looked around the room and lazily yawned. Although the room was dark, it was clear from the bright rays of light peeking out from the edges of the curtains that they couldn't ignore it was daybreak any longer. "What time is it?"<p>

A tingling sensation ran through Nathan's body as Haley's finger absentmindedly circled his nipple. "Uh-oh. It's alive…I don't know if I'm ready again."

Haley lifted up the bed sheet tossed over their bodies and looked down at the lower half of Nathan's body. "I'd have to disagree with you there."

"That's not fair! I have no control over that—isn't that what you told me last night," Nathan proudly pointed out.

"You were listening!"

"I always listen to the doctor."

"I'm not your doctor. I'm your girl," Haley whispered into his ear.

Both their eyebrows raised in response to a twitch from the lower half of Nathan's body. It was followed by soft laughter.

As Haley felt those familiar urges return to her body, her head came down from the clouds. She impatiently tapped her fingers on Nathan's shoulders. "What time is it?"

Nathan looked around the room and scoffed. How the hell was he supposed to know? He couldn't see a clock from their position either.

Somewhere along the way, they ended up on the floor as their bursts of lovemaking fluctuated between soft and gentle and intense and passionate. When their bodies began to wear down, they grabbed the pillows and blankets and remained camped out on the floor. Even then, sleep still escaped them as they talked, touched and made love again. At this point, they each had probably only slept an hour.

Before Nathan could even estimate the hour, Haley's stomach loudly growled. Haley sheepishly pulled the bed sheet up to her face and laughed. "That was attractive," she said with heavy sarcasm.

"Apparently, it's time to feed you," Nathan teased.

"Room service?"

"No," Nathan said slightly surprising himself. He thought about dinner last night and how good he felt. He figured it was probably the last chance he'd have in a while to feel that way again. "How about we have a proper sit-down dinner? Family style."

"With Vivian and Michael?"

"They're picking you up, right?"

Haley nodded. Her heart melted as she realized just how much Nathan really enjoyed the idea of being part of family—_her family_. Clutching the sheet to her body, she shifted up to her knees and twisted around. After looking at the clock, she sunk back down next to Nathan with a playful grin. "It's a little too early to call them," she said coyly.

Nathan started to push the sheet off of him. "What are we going to do to kill the time?"

As Haley once again caught sight of his naked body, she felt a sense of euphoria. She put a finger to her lips. "I might be able to think of a few things."

"So can I." Nathan pushed to his knees, put one hand to the floor and stood up. He started to head off towards the bathroom.

Feeling ignored, Haley called out after him. "Nathan! You better be coming right back!"

"Nope," he said entering the bathroom, but keeping the door open.

Haley sat up. "Am I supposed to follow you in there?"

A second later, the sound of running water echoed off the bathroom walls. Nathan exited the bathroom, bent down towards Haley and extended his hand to help her up.

Haley accepted his offer and once on her feet, she let him push the sheet covering her body away. "What's going on?" She asked.

"I believe it's my turn to take care of you," Nathan pointed out.

He took her by the hand and led her into the bathroom and over to the bath being filled with steaming hot water. "I believe I owe you a sponge bath. I don't have any sponges, but I do have—" he held up two large hands, accompanied by a wide grin.

"I think those will work just fine," Haley assured him.

* * *

><p>Nathan held open the door to the hotel room for Haley but instead of heading out, she took one more sweep around the room. "Hales, you were barely here. I doubt you left anything behind."<p>

"I just want to be sure," she said biting her lip. She couldn't help her paranoia about forgetting something, even if in this case, it was silly. "Okay," she said satisfied.

With Nathan carrying her overnight back, she headed into the hallway, with only her purse slung over her shoulder. They headed down the corridor with plans to meet Vivian and Michael in the hotel lobby for breakfast.

"Have you been using the elevator? On your own?" Haley asked curiously. They had used it together, but she still found herself hesitant to use it on her own.

"Yeah, but only because fifteen flights of stairs was too much for me," Nathan admitted. "You?"

"Same," Haley replied.

With no doubt they were comfortable taking the elevator together, they patiently waited for the next available one. It came quickly and the hopped on. Nathan dropped Haley's bag and slid his arm around her waist. Haley looked up at him and gave him a loving smile just as the elevator stopped and opened up.

The both looked ahead to find Devon Fox, surrounded by suitcases, his pregnant wife and young daughter waiting to get on the elevator.

Nathan tensed up when Devon's cold stare hit him like a ton of bricks. With nowhere to go, nowhere to hide, he took a deep breath and stepped aside. He let his arm drop from Haley's waist and reached over and held the door open.

Instead of joining them, Devon crossed his arms and turned his attention to Haley. He looked her up and down with a displeased look.

Nathan felt his blood starting to boil. It was one thing for Devon to give _him_ a nasty look but another to do that to _Haley_. Once again, he felt his self-control withering away as his emotions took over.

With the tension filling the confined area, Haley felt her claustrophobia starting to kick in. She looked up at Nathan for comfort, but he was engaged in a stare off with Devon. The only thing she knew for sure was that she could not handle an elevator ride right now.

"Oh for Christ's sake," Devon's wife said as she pushed her way passed her husband and onto the elevator. "I am not waiting for another elevator." She put her hand out for her daughter. "Come on, Keisha. You and I are going on this one. Daddy can wait for the next one if he wants."

Devon made it clear that there was no way he was going to let his wife and daughter ride on that elevator without him. He practically threw a suitcase against the free wall of the elevator.

Haley noticed Devon's daughter, a beautiful little girl with tightly tied pigtail braids, sneaking looks at her. "Hi," Haley said with a warm smile.

With her daughter darting behind her legs, Devon's wife held out her hand to Haley. "I'm Gina. This here is Keisha. Say 'hi' Keisha."

Keisha shyly waved at Haley. Haley waved back.

They all looked out at Devon, who was cursing under his breath as he struggled with a very heavy suitcase.

Haley gave Nathan a gentle nudge forward and took his spot holding the doors open. Nathan reluctantly stepped out and helped Devon load the elevator. Gina and Haley engaged in some small talk about the weather and Haley complimented Keisha on her Dora the Explorer backpack.

Once Nathan and Devon finished up, and awkward silence filled the elevator as it began moving.

"Devon, honey," Gina said patting his back, "I was just chatting with—you know, I never did get your name," she said with a puzzled look. "Unless I forgot? Pregnancy does strange things to a woman," she said rubbing her baby bump.

Haley had intentionally avoided giving her name. Finding a confidence she didn't know she had, she looked at Devon, Gina and Keisha. "I'm Rachel."

Nathan quickly changed his look of surprise into confirmation. "Rachel's an old friend of mine."

He smiled approvingly at Haley. He had to hand it to her to come up with something so quick. Normally, he hated lies, but this seemed to work because Devon Fox was one person he didn't want knowing about his relationship with Haley. He was the worst person who could know that. Well, other than Rachel Gatina herself. He was sure both held such strong grudges towards him, there was no telling what they would do with that scandalous information.

* * *

><p>The restaurant in the hotel was busier than Nathan expected at such an early hour. Luckily, they were seated off in the corner in a private area. None of his teammates were there, something he had anticipated. The guys weren't really the breakfast type and after a long night partying, he was sure they had opted to sleep in as late as they could.<p>

The waitress come over to their table, poured the adults a cup of coffee and began taking orders. Nathan was grateful he was the last to order since he was undecided. When it was his turn, he decided to splurge and get a southern style breakfast that was probably large enough to be his calorie intake for the day. He figured he'd had enough exercise lately, capped off with last night's activities to even things out.

Before Nathan could ask for Haley to pass him a sugar packet, she handed it to him. It was just what he liked—the brown raw sugar packet, none of that artificial stuff. He added some cream and took a long sip. Coffee with cream and sugar was his weakness.

He looked over at Vivian and held up the creamer. "You need this? Or do you drink it black like Hales?"

"Black." Vivian smiled at both him and Haley.

Nathan looked over at Michael. He was giving all of his attention to his Nintendo DS.

"It was the only way I could get him to come," Vivian whispered apologetically to Nathan.

"It's fine," Nathan assured her. He sat back in his chair and allowed himself to relax. When he did, he found that deep down, this family style dinner even in a restaurant felt so normal and routine. It was odd because he really hadn't been part of a family in this way. As a child when his family did go out to eat, his father, once town mayor, always made sure it was a public appearance. In this case, he was happy to blend in with the crowd. Even Vivian and Haley didn't seem to feel like they needed to pay him attention. Instead they chatted on and on about some tv show Nathan never heard of. Then, they talked about Honey Grove. Haley made it a point to draw many parallels between Honey Grove and Tree Hill. Nathan kept waiting for her to reach a point, she seemed to be driving towards one, but she never did. He was slightly confused by the time their meal arrived. Did she want to move back to Honey Grove? If so, when? After all, he'd just worked so hard to get that two year deal in L.A. As long as she was working on her Ph.D and certification, he figured it was safe bed she'd stick around.

Unless things changed. Unless she couldn't finished out her program. Or she couldn't get her licensure. Was she creating some type of back-up plan? Was she preparing for the demise of her dreams just as he was achieving his?

Nathan shuddered at the thoughts. When he looked at Haley, he couldn't see any trace of those possible worries. To him, she looked happy.

As if to prove his point, Haley graciously smiled at him and handed him a small plate with two sausages. "Here. I got these for you."

"Why?"

"Because my meal came with a side."

"Why didn't you get bacon? You love bacon."

"Because I wasn't sure—"

"If it would be crispy," Nathan finished recalling how Haley only enjoyed that type of bacon. He grabbed the two crispy pieces of his plate and made a swap for the sausages. Next, without even really thinking about it, he gave her half his toast, just as he usually did.

"I guess you two eat breakfast together often," Vivian said.

Haley simply shrugged and began to work on her pancakes.

"Breakfast is the most important meal of the day," Nathan said.

"That's what Grampa used to say," Michael said without looking up from his game.

Vivian and he began arguing about putting away the game long enough to eat. Nathan was about to jump in to try to help when he heard a set of familiar voices approaching from behind.

"Hey, that's Scott!"

"Who's he with?"

"We're gonna find out."

Tony Battle and Nino Jones promptly appeared at their table. They stood there smiling broadly at each person at the table.

Nathan put his napkin down and looked at Haley. With Michael there, he saw no choice but to introduce everyone to each other.

After being introduced, Haley started to explain their relationship. "Nathan and I are from the same hometown—Tree Hill, North Carolina."

"And Vivian and Michael live close by here," Nathan said.

"That's cool, man," Tony said. "You should have told us you were meeting up some hometown folks."

"Yeah, then we would have left you alone last night," Nino said.

"No shit," Nathan spat out. The guys had knocked on his door throughout the night and early morning. They always seemed to come at the most inopportune times as well. Then again, Nathan and Haley were preoccupied most of that time.

"He swore!" Michael exclaimed laughing loudly. "Nathan, you swore! You said 'shit'!"

Tony and Nino laughed and prepared to move along.

"Nice meeting you," Nino said kindly. "Nate, we'll see you on the bus. It leaves in twenty minutes."

"Really? They pushed it up?"

"Yeah. That's why we came by this morning. Well, it was nice meeting y'all. See ya on the bus, Scott." Tony spent a second too long for Nathan's liking eyeing Haley before he left.

Knowing he still had to run up to his room to grab his stuff, Nathan scoffed down the rest of his meal. He said goodbye to Vivian and Michael, promising with discreet nod to Vivian, to keep in touch.

Although she wasn't finished with her meal, Haley insisted on walking him out to the lobby. The walked over to a private area by the elevators. Haley pushed up against Nathan so his back was against the wall. "I didn't hear them come by this morning. Did you?"

"No," Nathan said slipping his hands around her waist. He savored her touch, knowing he wasn't going to see her for another two weeks.

"You don't think they heard us, do you?" She asked nervously.

"I don't think they heard _me_," Nathan grinned.

Haley playfully grabbed his chin and pushed it away from her. "Shut up."

When Nathan looked back at her, the realization it was time to part ways hit them both.

"Nathan, I feel so bad I'm not going to meet your mom, especially after all the time you've spent with my family." Haley had some meetings in Palo Alto with Dr. Greene and some research assistants about analyzing her data that could not be rescheduled. In fact, they required her to spend the night in the area. One meeting was this week and the other was the same night of his home preseason game.

"You have to go Stanford. I get it. Besides, I'm not desperate for you to meet her anyway. It'll be good for me to spend some alone time with her before that happens."

"I know you, Nathan," Haley said softly. "You probably don't want to be alone with her and would like it if I was there to diffuse any tension."

"Go to Stanford," Nathan said firmly. "Let's get this dissertation going so you can be a 'Doc' for real. Then, you can finally see me play for the first time at our first home game. It's better that way anyway."

"Why?" Haley asked raising her eyebrows at him.

"I'm working on a surprise for you."

Haley pointed her finger at him. "You and your surprises!"

Nathan pushed her finger away. "You love them." He lowered his head to hers and captured her lips in a fiery kiss.

"Gotcha ya!"

Nathan and Haley broke apart and saw Tony Battle had just snapped a picture of their kiss with his cellphone camera.

Haley looked at Nathan with panic in her eyes. "Nathan!"

"I got it." He chased after Tony and grabbed harshly at his shoulder.

"What the hell!" Tony said spinning around. "I'm just going to show the guys. They were dying to see who was keeping you up all night."

"You have to delete that picture!"

"No way, man. She's smoking—"

Nathan gave Tony a mean stare. "Delete it," he gritted through his teeth.

"Chill!" Tony said stepping back and clutching the phone firmly in his hand. "What's the big deal?"

"I can't have a picture like that floating around!"

"Nate, it's me. It's not like I'm going to sell it to the tabloids," Tony said showing he was offended. "Not that they'd care anyway."

Nathan knew if he was going to keep Tony as a friend, he had to trust him. "Look, things are complicated. Haley actually lives in L.A.—"

Tony dramatically stomped his foot. "I knew it! She's the one that's been shacking up at your place!"

"Seriously, Tony, the less people that know about Haley the better, especially people in L.A."

Tony registered a look of shock and then swallowed hard. "Dude, is she married?"

"No!"

"But she has a guy, right? That's what you're so worried about? Him finding out…"

Nathan shook his head and looked at his feet. Tony took this as a sign of confirmation.

"Wow! Okay, I'll delete it." Tony scrolled through his phone, hit some buttons and flashed the phone at Nathan.

"Thanks," Nathan said with a sigh of relief.

"You can trust me, Nate. Just remember what I said earlier-be careful. The game changes everything."

"I remember."

Tony headed off and Nathan returned to Haley. She was standing against the wall with her arms crossed.

"It's taken care of," he announced.

"Thank God," Haley said relaxing her shoulders.

Nathan put his hands on the top of her shoulders and squeezed them. "It's going to be fine."

"For now."

"As long as your boyfriend doesn't find out about us," Nathan said feigning nerves.

"What?" Haley quickly put everything together. "That's what he thinks! That I'm a cheater!"

"And I'm the other man," Nathan said with a slight chuckle. "You naughty girl. Wonder what my competition is like."

Haley put her hand to her forehead. "How are we going to keep everything straight?"

"Low-profile. Celebrities and politicians do it all the time. We can do it, too."

"I guess we don't have a choice."

"No, we don't."

"Because I love you," Haley said gently caressing his cheek.

"Shhhh. Someone might hear you." Nathan took a step closer to Haley and kissed her cheek. "I love you too," he whispered into her ear.

With warm feelings bubbling inside of her, Haley finally left his side to return to her sister. She knew things were about to change, on all fronts and that their relationship was going to be some serious work. The weekend also left her ready for the challenge. They could do this. They had to. There was no choice. They had too much to lose.

* * *

><p>Preview of next chapter: "Learning" (Green River Ordinance)<p>

AN: Thanks so much for waiting for this post and sticking with the story. I apologize for taking so long. It took longer than I expected and even now I can't promise quick postings. I can promise more regular, consistent postings. _Arms_ is my focus for now, although I am still working on some other stories on the side. To make up for the delay, I kept this chapter long (instead of breaking it into two chapters). I'm still not happy with the writing but needed to move on.

You're about to see more challenges as Nathan and Haley deal with the full impact of fulfilling their career aspirations. We are still a little bit away from the turning point of the story. There are two things that come out of nowhere but the seeds have been planted for the first one. In the meantime, you read about Naley facing some common relationship hurdles as well as the predictable ones from these circumstances.

It's good to be back posting for this story. It feels good. I hope you enjoy! Lastly, thanks for all the reviews, alerts and favorites over the past few months, as well as the pushes to get posting. It was nice to be reminded that people were still interested.


	39. Chapter 39

**Disclaimer #1**: Characters, minor plot points and dialogue belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and _One Tree Hill_ writers.

**Disclaimer #2**: Although my career is in the field of psychology, I have taken a lot of liberties with my story. My background is nothing like Haley's in this story. Her story only has _a little_ basis in reality. I know many people in that field who have given me inspiration for details here and there, but this situation is entirely fictional. Please don't take what you read as fact, especially when it comes to the research discussed and ethics of practicing psychology. As with all my stories, you have to use the suspension of disbelief, just as you do with our favorite tv show. The examples in this story are merely for plot purposes. If you do have questions or concerns about the psychological elements of the story, please feel free to **pm me**. I'd love to discuss! If you simply leave me an anonymous review, I can't respond and clear up any confusion, such as the point of view and plot of the story. So please, get in touch **directly**!

Chapter 39: "Learning" (Green River Ordinance)

"…I don't know how this is all going to work," Nathan sighed. "I'm not even sure when she's flying in. It's not like she tells me these things. You really think I should invite her to stay at my place? She must already have a hotel booked."

"Uh-huh," Haley murmured as she furiously typed up an email response to Dr. Greene.

Even through the computer screen, Nathan recognized the glazed over look in Haley's eyes. He'd seen it plenty of times over the past week during their Skype sessions. Haley had minimized her view of him and was doing some work in another window. "Hales, if you have to go, just say so."

"I don't. I'm fine. I'm listening. Go on," Haley said still typing away.

Nathan remained silent and let out a huge sigh. He knew he was failing miserably at keeping his frustration in check, but couldn't help it. Couldn't she just give him her undivided attention for a span longer than thirty seconds?

Haley stopped typing and looked up at Nathan and rolled her eyes. "I told you this was going to happen," she huffed. "This is what happens when I'm swamped at work, so you better get used to it because it's not slowing down anytime soon!"

"Don't give me that crap, Hales," Nathan snapped back. "I wouldn't be such a damn distraction to you and your work if you'd given me your focus so we could have a real conversation instead of dragging everything out and making me repeat myself when you're clearly not listening—"

"I am listening!" Haley yelled. "You've been going on and on about your mom and I told you what you should do about a million times—inviting her to stay at your place—" Haley furiously pointed at herself. "—my idea, thank you very much! So why don't we just cut to the chase you tell me how pissed you are for missing the game and making you spend the night with your mom on your own!"

"I told you I was fine with it!" Nathan snapped.

"You sound real fine with it!" Haley snapped back.

Nathan lowered his voice and squinted his eyes. "Funny how you're the one who keeps mentioning how guilty you feel. You're the one who can't let it go. It's like you want me to be angry with you. Maybe you're doing some projecting, huh, Doc?"

Haley looked away for a second, then looked back at Nathan. "You're right," she said quietly. "I do feel guilty—but I've told you that. I can also tell you're nervous and—I wish I could be there. I wish I could change my meetings, but I just can't. It's hard enough to schedule around Matthew and I'm not the only one involved in my research. I need other people to help me work through some things—"

"I'll help you. See this is what I mean, Hales," Nathan said making an effort to sound sincere. "You're starting to shut me out of your work. I don't want to be the one doing all the talking. I want you to tell me what's going on with you."

"It's not the way it works. I have to go through this data with people—" Haley paused trying to carefully frame her words. "—with researchers who can help me interpret it. It's part of my responsibilities of this grant. I look at their work and they look at mine. We collaborate—just like basketball," Haley said lighting up as the perfection of the analogy hit her. "You wouldn't come to me for advice on a freeshot, would you?"

Nathan smiled knowing she'd purposely used the incorrect term. "So I'm not smart enough to understand your psych stuff, huh?"

"No! That's not what—"

Nathan chuckled. "It's okay. I get it. You're right. I'm all nerved up."

"It's going to be fine. I promise you. I'm going to set up the guest room all nice—clean sheets, fresh flowers; the works."

"Alana can do that."

"I want to do it. It's the least I can do," Haley mumbled resignedly. "It sucks that you get a night off to come home and I'll be in Palo Alto."

"Are you staying in the dorms?" Nathan asked curiously.

"No," Haley said, her voice unavoidably squeaking. "They don't have temporary housing for PhD students."

"Oh." Nathan waited for her to continued and when she didn't, he started to sense she was hiding something. "Are you staying at a hotel? Do you need some money? Want to put it on my credit card?"

"No, no. I'm all set. I have a place to stay—an old friend who has an apartment practically on campus." Haley started chewing on her lip, hoping he wouldn't purse this further.

"Oh, yeah? Anyone I know?"

"No. Uh, no one you would know. Someone from grad school. We got our Master's together and went on to the PhD program."

"What's her name?"

Haley swallowed hard. With one fire put out, she knew another one was brewing. "I'm staying with a girl named Julie…but, um, well, Jeff is the one in my program."

Nathan saw the telltale signs of Haley's fidgeting. "Jeff?"

"And Julie. Julie is Jeff's girlfriend. They live together now. I stay in their guestroom."

"Well I hope so," Nathan scoffed.

"Don't be a jerk, Nathan."

"Wait a sec," Nathan said, his eyes flushed with realization. "This is _the guy_. _The guy_, right?"

"Yes, he's a guy," Haley said flatly.

"No, _the guy_. The one you had a thing with. The one you _wanted _to have a thing with."

This was worse than Haley anticipated. She figured he would just be jealous about the fact that Jeff was a guy. She forgot that she had told him about Jeff at some point. "There's nothing between Jeff and I anymore. He has a girlfriend. Julie moved in with him. I told you that, right? They live together."

"Where did you stay last time you went to Stanford? Last week, did you stay at his place?" Nathan asked accusatorily. He pointed squarely at the computer screen. "I'm booking you a hotel this time. There's no need for that."

"No, you're not. I always stay with Jeff!"

"You admit, you were with him last week? When you went to pick up your work?"

"Admit? I wasn't hiding it. I don't have anything to hide."

"Well, that's funny, because you did hide it and you definitely were being vague with me tonight."

"I don't need this!" Haley put her palm to her forehead. "This is what I mean, Nathan. You're getting all worked up over nothing."

"This is not nothing. You're staying with a guy who told me you were attracted to—and he was attracted to you. Am I missing something here?" Nathan asked, rattling off the thoughts as they came to his mind.

"That was a while ago—"

"How would you like it if I crashed with Rachel? Huh? That was a while ago," Nathan shot back.

"What I had with Jeff is nothing like what you had with Rachel. In fact, I had nothing with Jeff. Do you hear me, Nathan?" She watched as Nathan turned his back to her, then disappeared from her view. "We've never been more than friends." Haley arched her head looking at the empty screen. "Nathan! Where are you?"

Nathan flew back down onto his bed and waved his credit card at Haley. "I'm booking you a hotel."

"DO NOT," Haley gritted out through her clenched jaw.

Nathan put down the credit card and sighed heavily. "Haley, let me do this."

"You haven't listened to a word I've said. Can you do that for me? Just give me a few minutes of your undivided attention so you can see how stupid and pointless this fight is."

Nathan shrugged. "Fine. Go ahead."

"Don't do that."

"What?" Nathan asked lifting his shoulders again, then leaning back on his elbows.

"I can read your body language. You're still being defensive—which means you aren't going to listen to what I have to say—really listen."

"You're right," Nathan said lifting an eyebrow.

"I am?" Haley asked with surprise.

Nathan straightened up. "We should have talked on the phone instead of Skyped," he deadpanned.

This time, Haley was happy to be able to be able to see him and saw the irony of the situation. He was the one wanted to see her, but in the end, she was the one who needed to see him. She could see the glint in his eye that diffused the tension in their argument. "Then I wouldn't get to see those twinkling blue eyes, would I?" Haley asked sweetly.

"Or my charming smile?" He asked, flashing her his widest grin.

"Okay, you've successfully disarmed me but I still need you to listen."

"I'm not going anywhere," Nathan said staring straight ahead.

Perfect. Now they were both at ease. "What did I tell you about Jeff?"

"That you had the hots for each other but didn't hook up because you didn't like being in class together."

Haley tried to suppress her smile. She was certain she hadn't used any of those words. "We have the same specialty and there was so few of us in that program and even fewer in this one. It was the right decision."

"But the attraction, Hales. That doesn't go away. Look at us…"

"That's exactly what I mean," Haley said emphatically. "_Look at us_. You and I prove that there really wasn't anything ever serious between Jeff and me. Before I met you, I wouldn't even date someone in the same class as me and now—I'm breaking all the rules for you. Because what you and I have, I couldn't fight. It's nothing like what I felt towards Jeff."

"I guess that makes me feel a little better," Nathan smiled. "I still want you to stay in a hotel. Maybe you were strapped for cash before, but that's not the case now."

"I'm not staying at a hotel," Haley said firmly. "There's no reason to."

"I have one—do it for me. Make me feel better."

"No, because that would make me feel bad. It tells me that you don't trust me and that says volumes about our relationship. We need to work through this, Nathan. This is what couples do—even secret, clandestine couples," she smirked.

"I don't know," Nathan said, unable to let of the heat building inside of him.

"Okay, if it means that much to you, I'll do it but just realize the message you're sending me is that you don't trust me—that's what I'm hearing."

"It's not that I don't trust you! I don't trust _him_!"

"You don't know him! And seriously, this is going to hurt his feelings—and Julie's too. All of a sudden, I'm not going to stay with them? They're going to be offended. This is going to cause all kinds of problems."

"Fine," Nathan said throwing his hands up. "You win. Do what you want."

"Great," Haley said happily.

"You're calling my bluff?" Nathan asked studying her. "Or did you just play some kind of psychological mind game on me?"

"No," Haley said innocently. "Stop dramatizing this. We just worked through a typical lover's quarrel—two actually in one night!"

Nathan shook his head. "Whatever. I'm confused and better quit while I'm ahead. You get back to work, I'm going to bed."

Haley smiled at the computer screen. "I love you, Nathan Scott."

"I love you, Haley James—and you better respond to my texts this time because I still don't like this."

Haley bit her tongue and nodded her head. He still didn't seem to understand how her focus shifted now that her research was in. She could already tell he was going to drive her crazy while she was at Stanford. It was bad enough when she made the trek last week when he didn't know she was staying with Jeff. This time she was going to have to make more of an effort, part of an unofficial compromise. "I sure will—except when I'm meeting with Dr. Greene."

"That would be like you texting me during a game. Got it."

Haley smiled and nodded. Maybe he was finally starting to get it…

* * *

><p>Surrounded by piles of papers and laptops, Haley looked up from her computer screen as Julie got up from the small, circular kitchen table. The perky blonde with short curly hair smiled politely at Haley. "I'm going to leave you two to sort through all of this and head off to bed." She look bent down towards Jeff and placed a light kiss on his cheek. "Night, babe."<p>

Jeff smiled back at her. "Night."

As Julie headed off to bed and Jeff went about refilling their coffee mugs, Haley thought about how different Jeff was from Nathan. He had scruffy light brown hair with long sideburns that ran into his mustache and wore black wire-rimmed spectacles. He'd always been on the husky side, but since they began the PhD program, he gained even more weight, putting him more on the chubby end of the spectrum. Still, it was always his personality that drew her in, but even that was the polar opposite of Nathan. Jeff was so serious and intense and always listened to her as if she was about to make some huge breakthrough. How was it possible she had been attracted to Jeff considering how she felt about Nathan? She realized it probably wasn't attraction. It was more likely flattery from the attention Jeff gave her.

Jeff was her intellectual match when it came to psychology. Over the years, they always helped each other with their work, but this time, Haley felt like she wasn't pulling her share of the weight.

"Let it go, Haley," Jeff said as he took his seat and slid over a steaming hot mug of coffee. He handed her some creamer, but Haley waved it off. "You don't take cream anymore?"

Haley shook her head. "No. I just take it black. Nice and strong."

"Hmph," Jeff mumbled as returned the creamer to the refrigerator.

Haley was staring at him as he sat back down. "Just spit it out, Jeff."

"No. It's nothing," he said as he stirred his coffee and took his first sip.

"It is definitely something. You've been looking at me weird all night. Tell me what's going on. Did Dr. Greene say something to you?"

"No…It's just," Jeff paused thoughtfully scratching at the base of his chin. "You're different."

Haley picked up her mug, clenching the handle so hard her knuckles turned white. "I'm unfocused. How many times did I say dependent variable to Dr. Greene when I meant independent? How many times?!"

"You just said the wrong thing—it's not like you don't know the difference. It wasn't the big deal you think it was."

"She kept correcting me," Haley pointed out thinking back to the meeting with the data team a few hours earlier.

"That's how she is. She's very precise. You know that, Haley," Jeff said comfortingly.

"I'm unfocused, Jeff. You just said that yourself. God, I embarrassed myself."

"I said you were _different_. You said _unfocused_."

"Well, what did you mean, then?"

"I don't know," Jeff said cautiously. "Just different."

"Is this about the coffee?" Haley asked as she noticed his eyes darting to her mug.

"Not just that. Other things too."

"Come on, Jeff. You know you can't say things like that without evidence. Give me examples. Specific examples."

"That's why I shouldn't have said anything. It's more just a feeling—basketball!" Jeff exclaimed. "Since when do you like basketball? And during preseason? What's the point? Those scores don't matter. I would expect you of all people to understand that."

"I just picked it up recently and I'm trying to catch up so I'm ready when the season does begin," Haley answered, unflustered. "What else?"

"Your clothes are different."

"I had to get new clothes when I started taking on patients. You wouldn't understand that since you're just in the lab. Next?"

"There's something else," Jeff said pushing up his glasses above the bridge of his nose. "I just can't put my finger on it."

"I'm happier?" Haley offered up. "Lighter? I laugh more? Which all makes me unfocused!" She said slamming her hand on the table. "Ugh! I need to get serious again."

When Haley saw the look of shock on Jeff's face, she broke into laughter at her outburst. "I'm sorry. I'm just frustrated."

Jeff remained serious. "You're definitely different."

"I'm happier."

"Which is what I don't get. Dr. Rimkus has really screwed you over. What do you have to be happy about?"

Haley knew Jeff better than to take offense to his comments. He was even more analytical than she was and didn't have the best people skills, which made his desire go the clinical side of psychiatry perfect for his personality. It was also why Dr. Greene recruited him, along side with Haley to be part of her team on the grant. They complemented each other well.

After hemming and hawing about it for a great while on her last visit, Haley broken down and told Jeff about the ethical investigation of Dr. Rimkus. She kept out all the parts about Nathan and emphasized her struggle with the validity of the hours she logged with the doctor. Jeff was overly concerned and any personal time they spent together was focused on going over those issues. It probably explained why Jeff didn't pick up on these "differences" in Haley sooner. He was consumed with trying to help her and to his dismay, in the end he didn't have any great pearls of wisdom for Haley. She couldn't blame him. He was one of the people who needed to keep this grant project going to since his own dissertation work was wrapped up in it as well—just like Haley. They agreed it was best to keep moving forward and not clue Dr. Greene in on the shadiness of Haley's mentor.

"There's more to life than just work, Jeff," Haley said.

"See—" Jeff said tapping his pen on the side of the laptop. "The Haley I knew believed the complete opposite."

Haley remembered the conversation when she said something along those lines. It was the night she gently turned Jeff's advances down, as she panicked about how it would affect their joint lab work. Despite that turn of events, she still spent a lot of time with Jeff—until she moved to the L.A. to start her work at Muller and Rimkus Associates. She figured she owed it to him to be honest about Nathan, while still keeping the key details to herself. There was no point in letting in him on everything. It would just be one more person to worry about keeping their secret.

"I've met someone," Haley said right before immersing herself in a drink of her coffee.

Jeff spit out a little of his coffee and struggled to wipe it off his chin. "What?"

"I'm seeing someone. In some ways, it's helped me focus on work and in others—"

"It's caused you to be unfocused," Jeff finished with a hint of a wry smile.

"You said you didn't think I was unfocused!"

"No, but you said that. Wow," Jeff said as the news settled in. "I never thought you would meet someone in L.A."

"Why not? You met Julie."

"I was looking for someone and you—weren't," Jeff said flatly.

"I wasn't, but what can you do?" Haley shrugged.

"I guess," Jeff said sourly.

"You're just jealous," Haley fired out. "I turned you down and now here I am seeing someone else. But really, Jeff. Why does it matter? You have Julie!"

"I know and Julie is great," Jeff said trailing off.

"But?"

Jeff remained silent for a moment, shook his head, then looked up at Haley. "No buts. Julie is great," he said more convincingly. "And I'm sure this guy is great for you. And he's lucky."

"I'm lucky." Haley looked at her cellphone. Despite his warnings, Nathan really hadn't bothered her much. There were just a few texts, some initiated by her, and one phone call on her ride down. Nathan was sullen and moody but she knew that was more from the anxiety of seeing his mother. "I should give him a call. Can you look over this spreadsheet I set up? I'm trying to figure out the most efficient way to organize my data."

Haley turned her computer screen towards Jeff, grabbed her cellphone and headed out to the living room. She dialed up Nathan and to her relief, he answered quickly.

"Are you home?" She asked.

"Yeah. Just got in."

"How was dinner?"

"It was good, actually. We talked the whole time, lots of small talk, but it was good. I told her about you," Nathan said as if he was bragging. "She thinks she met your mom a few times—at the café."

"Probably. I don't think I ever met her though."

"She didn't think so."

"Did she agree to spend the night at your place?"

"Yeah," Nathan said sounding surprised. "She's in the guestroom now."

"See, I told you it was a good idea."

"I guess, but what do I do now?"

"What do you mean?" Haley asked.

"I'm in my room; she's in hers. Do I just stay here?"

"No. You have to be sociable."

"It's late. I want to go to bed," Nathan complained.

"You can't hole up in your bedroom. You should go downstairs and stay out in the living room."

"That would be awkward."

"See if she wants to go outside on the patio and have a glass of wine."

"She doesn't drink anymore and besides that, she's my mother, not my girlfriend."

"Then at least go and check on her," Haley said sternly. "See if she needs anything."

"I don't know. That would be awkward, too."

"You asked for my advice, Nathan," Haley reminded him.

"Fine," Nathan said reluctantly.

"When will I see you? Saturday?"

"Maybe Friday night. There's a storm coming in from the Gulf Coast so they're talking about starting the game early or maybe even cutting it short since it's doesn't count and getting us home a night early."

"That would be nice. You could use the night to rest up before the big Halloween bash."

"Rest up. Right," Nathan joked.

Haley visualized the twinkle she knew was in his eyes, along with his smirk. "Stop making me losing focus!"

"Me? You called me!"

"Go talk to your mother, Nathan. Goodbye."

Haley hung up the phone and went back into the kitchen.

"So he's a fan of basketball?" Jeff asked immediately.

"Uh, yeah." Haley took a seat back at the table. Although Jeff appeared to be pouring over her work, his mind was obviously still hung on her relationship with Nathan.

"And you just met him when you moved to L.A.?" Jeff continued.

"Sort of. I met him before but I didn't really know him."

"Oh, that makes sense," Jeff said, sounding relieved. He looked up at Haley and kept her gaze. "You ever wonder if….you know…."

Haley looked directly at him. "No, I don't know."

"If we had met at a different time, a different place that things would be…different."

"No," Haley said quietly. She hated having to say it, but felt it was best to be brutally honest. "I don't. Especially now that I've met—What I have right now is it for me. I've met the person I'm supposed to spend the rest of my life with."

"Yeah," Jeff said shrugging it off. "Me too. Julie and I will probably beat you to the altar."

"That you definitely will since I'm not going to race you there."

"I guess there's still a little of the old Haley in there," Jeff smiled. "That's good to hear."

* * *

><p>Nathan opened the double doors to his bedroom and cautiously ventured outside. He was caught off guard when his mother left the guestroom.<p>

"Nathan!" Deb said stopping short. "I was just going to get something to drink and make use of that patio you have out there. It'll be good to hear the ocean again. Reminds me of the beach house in Tree Hill."

"Mind if I join you?"

Deb smiled warmly. "That would be nice."

"I'll get some drinks and meet you out there."

Nathan followed his mother down the stairs and while she headed out the French doors, he went into the kitchen. When he opened up the refrigerator, he was pleased to see some of Haley's personal touches. There was a fresh pitcher of iced tea, some fresh strawberries and blueberries and milk and eggs. It made him feel a little guilty and lucky at the same time.

After pouring two glasses, Nathan joined his mother on the patio. "Here," he said handing his mother a glass. "Haley made this. She also stocked the fridge if you get hungry. Help yourself."

Deb took a sip of her iced tea and smiled. "Haley, huh? Was she responsible for the fresh flowers in my room too?"

Nathan proudly nodded. He hadn't been seeking it, but it felt good to have his mother's approval. Perhaps it was because Deb was acting more her age. Sure her clothing was still a little too tight for his liking but at least she acted reasonably around his teammates. She hung out with Tony Battle's family at the game and got along great with Tony's mom.

"So this thing with Haley is serious?"

Nathan suddenly straightened up. "You can't say anything about her to anyone. Did Mrs. Battle say something to you?"

"No. So I'm confused, honey. This isn't serious? Is that why you want to be so private? Because from what I can tell, it's clear that Haley spends a lot of time here."

"She watches my place while I'm gone, but that's beside the point. You didn't say anything, did you? Did you?" Nathan asked anxiously.

"No, sweetie. It never came up—"

"But if it did, you can't say anything. You got that, right? Right?"

"Yes. Yes, I did." Deb reached over and put her hand over Nathan's. "What's going, Nathan? What has you so worked up?"

Nathan pulled back his hand tried to regain his composure. Perhaps it had been a mistake telling his mother about Haley. He wouldn't put it past her to inadvertently say something to the wrong person. "Mom, I explained this to you at dinner. Haley and I want to keep our relationship private and it's important to set the tone now. I'm not going to one of those guys that enjoys the spotlight. I need to build my image now and it starts with keeping a low profile."

"Even from your teammates? The Battles seemed so nice. What would be the harm if—"

"Mom, you need to trust me on this. The less people that know the better." Nathan struggled to come up with another reason to keep pacify his mother. ""Look, Mom, Haley and I….we're not like everyone else. We're both very focused on our careers and it's better that people don't go asking too many questions. Now, I love Mrs. Battle but if she knew I was seeing someone, she'd be all over me, asking about when I'm getting married or having kids—"

"She obviously doesn't know you that well then, Nathan," Deb said forcing a smile. "You've made your feelings on those subjects perfect clear over the years."

"Yeah, right," Nathan said unconvincingly.

Deb leaned forward and studied her son. "Honey, is this thing with Haley that serious? Are you thinking it might lead to something….more permanent?"

Nathan shrugged, then felt his blood pressure rising. "This is what I mean, Mom! I don't need this kind of pressure and neither does Haley. Right now, we're both at pivotal points in our careers."

"So Haley feels the same way you do about marriage and children?" Deb asked.

Nathan shook his head in frustration. He saw no other way to shut his mother up. "Yeah. We have the same feelings about our future, so drop it."

Deb took in a deep breath and let it go. "Okay….I just thought…maybe…"

Nathan knew one surefire way to change the subject. "Have you talked to Dad?"

"No!" Deb said sounding insulted. "I would never! Why? Have you?"

"No," Nathan said quickly. "I was just wondering if he knew…you know…about me making the team."

"Knowing Dan, I'm sure he does. Does that bother you? Are you thinking about going to see him?"

"Not now but Haley—" Nathan hesitated realizing how easy it was for Haley to come up in just about every conversation these days, "She thinks it might be good one day to do that; just get it all out."

"This Haley sounds like a smart girl," Deb smiled. "I can't wait to meet her. When do you think that will be?"

"Depends how much you're going to be around, Mom," Nathan answered honestly. "As you picked up on, she's around a lot—when she's not tied up with her work."

"Is she that busy?"

"She is now," Nathan said unable to hide his regret. "But I get that," he said perking up. "We're both busy…so…it's going to work out. We're figuring it out."

* * *

><p>As Haley ran her hand through the messy ball of hair piled at the back of her head, half of it fell down past her shoulder and in front of her face restricting her view. "Ugh!"<p>

She put down the thick stapled packet she had been reading and used both her hands to fix her hair. She went back to her work, but within minutes was back on her feet walking around Nathan's large dining room table trying to find the pile this packet belonged in. "There," she said happily as she found the pile. She sorted through the pile, organized numerically by identification numbers, and filed it in its proper spot.

Haley began to walk away, then turned back and picked back up the pile, and started to rifle through it. "Oh no!" She said grabbing her hair again. She sat down and carefully went through the stack and saw the pile was not sorted correctly. At some point, she had mixed up that pile with another, which meant there was at least one more pile with mistakes.

An hour later, Haley found problems with five of her twenty two piles, but still had seven more to examine. On her feet, she began going through another pile when she felt a tickle around her waist. She screamed and jumped as fear filled her body. She flew around and immediately relaxed as a laughing Nathan filled her view. "You jerk," she said pushing him.

"I can't believe you didn't hear me come in," Nathan said grinning.

"I've been lost in this mess," she said gesturing towards the table.

Nathan's eye grew wide. "What is this—" he asked reaching for a pile.

Haley cut in front of him. "Don't. I have a system—it's not perfect, but it's a system."

Nathan stepped back. "I can't believe how much there is. You have to go through all of it?"

"This is only about three quarters of it." Haley turned around and faced Nathan. "Why are you here? What time is it?"

"Almost midnight. I told you about the weather. They pushed everything up once it became a tropical storm. Didn't you see the game? Haven't you been watching the news?"

Haley flushed red and looked down at her feet. "No. I lost track of time and when I remembered—it was over." She looked up at Nathan and winced. "I'm sorry. I just have so much work to do and we have the party. I figured it would be best if I got it all done when you weren't here so I could be with you when you got home—"

Nathan put one hand on the top of Haley's shoulder. "It's fine."

"You said that before," Haley said, "but I know you didn't mean it. You wanted me there with your mom—"

"It was better you weren't there. She had—too many questions—and it was good for us to sort through some stuff on our own," Nathan assured her.

"I still haven't seen you play. I heard a little on the radio one day, but I haven't seen you."

"I know," Nathan said with a mischievous glint in his eye.

Haley cocked her head. "Why did you say it like that?"

"No reason." Nathan reached over and tucked a piece of her hair behind her hair.

"I made such a mess at your place," Haley sighed. "I couldn't do it at mine—I don't have this kind of space and the office is so tense—"

"With Muller and Rimkus?"

"Yup. It's easier to get things done here. I just didn't realize it was so late and I have a lot more to do."

"Let me help you."

Haley shook her head. "Thanks, babe, but I need to go through this myself."

"You let the nerdy scientist help you," Nathan said with a sour expression.

"That's different. He…has the background—and it's a good thing I let him help me because he's been catching my mistakes. There have been a lot of mistakes." Haley twisted around for a second and scanned the table and sighed. "I keep mixing things up."

Nathan felt a pit in the bottom of his stomach. Was he having the opposite effect of Jeff? "Is it me? Am I hurting your work?"

"No. I'm under a lot of stress with my work and the office and all the hours." Haley put her hand to her forehead. "My mind keeps racing all the time and it's hard to focus."

"I've been bothering you. I'm sorry, Hales."

"Honestly?" Haley paused, looked around the room and then lowered her voice. "You were right. It's weird staying with Jeff."

"What do you mean? You were just there last week…."

"I know but now that I know how you feel about it and now that Jeff knows about you—it's just weird."

"Did he hit on you?" Nathan asked tensely.

"No…but it's just different. Everything is different now. He gave me weird vibe. The bottom line is that I need his help though. He's really good at the data part of things."

"You know I'm good with numbers too. Stats are a big part of basketball."

Haley pushed in closer to him and put her hand on his chest. "I know you mean well but it's really just easier if I plough through this on my own."

Nathan wrapped his arms around her and squeezed her tight. "Can I at least give you a hug before you send me off to bed?"

Haley secured her arms around him. She could feel her rapidly beating heart going fast but as their hug went on, it started to slow down as her body relaxed against his. "This is exactly what I needed."

Nathan kissed the top of her head. "I wish I could do more. I wish I could be the guy you turn to."

"You are," Haley whispered. "In the ways that count."

"I don't feel like it."

Haley pulled back and looked up at him. "We're learning how to deal with things, Nathan. Just give us a break. Give us time. It's work."

"This is the most I've ever worked at a relationship," Nathan freely admitted, "but I'm not complaining. What we have is worth fighting for."

"Just hold onto that thought because I think this is going to be harder than we thought."

"How so?" Nathan asked as he tenderly ran his fingers up and down her upper arms.

"I don't think I can keep up with your games. I can't watch all them and I don't even know if I'll be able to make all of the home ones. Between putting in the extra hours with Dr. Muller and the grant and my research—it's too much, Nathan."

Nathan could see how overwhelmed she was. Her ever scanning eyes and fidgeting were evidence of her racing mind. He couldn't wait to get into bed with her so he could help her relax—and he was sure he could take her mind off of things, even just for a little bit. "Why don't you just put this all aside and come to bed with me?"

"I can't," Haley said shaking her head furiously. "I need to get this done. This is what I mean, Nathan. You're going to have to be patient with me. If it's too much—If you can't do this-I, I need to know. You need to tell me."

"I'm not going anywhere," Nathan said looking deep into her eyes.

It took a few seconds, but then she sensed his intensity and rested her weight back on her feet and slouched her shoulders. A surge rushed through her body and she suddenly wanted to feel his body against hers. "On second thought, bed does sound good."

When Nathan read the lust in her eyes, he realized how quickly he could distract her, which really wasn't in her best interest. No matter what she said, he knew on some level, he was part of the reason she was having trouble focusing. He turned her back around, gave her a quick tap on her ass and kissed her earlobe. "Not so fast. Finish your work, Doc. I'll be waiting for you in bed."

Haley gave him a grateful smile and nodded. This was exactly the incentive she needed.

* * *

><p>Haley was shocked when she saw it was three a.m. She couldn't believe Nathan let her work that late—without coming down to check on her. When she went up to bed, she fully expected to find him fast asleep. Instead, she found him propped up against a few pillows watching tv. His eyes were like slits, but he was still awake enough to shut off the tv when she came into his view.<p>

"You finish?" He asked.

"I did," Haley said climbing into bed. "Now I'm all yours." Within seconds, she was encapsulated in Nathan's arms. She'd spent many nights there in Nathan's bed without him and at the time, she had been content. She felt close to Nathan, in the bed chosen for them as a couple, with the comforting sights and sound of beach outside. Now, she saw what a poor substitute that was for having Nathan by her side. The security of man she loved arms holding her tight weighed her down with a love that filled her to the core of her being. "Mmm. I forgot how good this feels."

"I forgot how you invade my space," Nathan joked.

Hit with heavy emotions, Haley remained serious. "I need you so much. Even just sleeping next to you, calms me down. My body needs this and so does my mind. This helps me focus."

"I wish I could be with you every night."

"It's fine. We'll get a routine going."

"Sometimes I think our jobs suck." Nathan let his heavy eyelids shut and rubbed Haley's back.

"You're home," Haley whispered into his ear. "It just hit me. We made it through training and-_You're home_."

Nathan smiled. He loved the idea of this being home to Haley. "You're home too."

"When I'm in your arms, I'm home," Haley said softly. "So, yes I'm home."

"We're home," Nathan whispered just before drifting off to a sound sleep.

* * *

><p>Preview of next chapter: "Trouble" (One Two)<p>

AN: If you know song for the next chapter, you know it's going to be a fun one! I really think you will enjoy it. The focus is the Halloween party and I promise to post it by or on the big night. I think this is the first time I posting a chapter about a holiday as it is happening!

Thanks for all the reviews and support as I made my comeback! I love hearing from all of you. This time, I'd love to know what you thought of Jeff and how they worked through that issue. You can also probably sense how Haley's work is starting to impact their relationship. Then, we'll see Nathan have to deal with playing pro. Do you think they can work through any issues that pop up from their careers in the same way? Stay tuned! Things are heating up!


	40. Chapter 40

**Disclaimer #1**: Characters, minor plot points and dialogue belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and _One Tree Hill_ writers.

**Disclaimer #2**: Although my career is in the field of psychology, I have taken a lot of liberties with my story. My background is nothing like Haley's in this story. Her story only has _a little_ basis in reality. I know many people in that field who have given me inspiration for details here and there, but this situation is entirely fictional. Please don't take what you read as fact, especially when it comes to the research discussed and ethics of practicing psychology. As with all my stories, you have to use the suspension of disbelief, just as you do with our favorite tv show. The examples in this story are merely for plot purposes. If you do have questions or concerns about the psychological elements of the story, please feel free to **pm me**. I'd love to discuss! If you simply leave me an anonymous review, I can't respond and clear up any confusion, such as the point of view and plot of the story. So please, get in touch **directly**!

Chapter 40: "Trouble" (One Two)

Haley pressed her cheek into the back of Nathan's shoulder blade and realized how warm he was. She wiggled up against the back of his body and used her hands to explore his front. The man was scorching hot! Unable to see his face, she could only tell he was still asleep from his steady breathing. She debated letting her hands, now gently caressing his abs, continue to roam his body. She didn't want to wake him, but without even realizing it, her hands dipped lower…and lower…and lower, until they reached the tip of his boxers. As if acting on their own accord, one slid inside his boxers and moved over his hardened member. Haley's body grinded up against Nathan as her own primal urges emerged.

When Haley's hand cupped his member, Nathan's eyes flew open. "Hello!"

Haley guiltily withdrew her hand and returned it to his abs. "Good morning."

Nathan took her hand and pushed back down inside his boxers. "Yeah. Good morning."

Haley smiled and kissed his shoulder blade, took in the scent of his musky deodorant and gently cupped his member. He was as hard as a rock at this point and apparently impatient. He pushed Haley back so he could get flat on his back and pulled his boxers off.

Haley hovered over him, watching with gleeful anticipation. When he reached up for her breasts, she took off her soft cotton top. Meanwhile, Nathan's hands went directly to her hips. He began pushing down her shorts. Haley helped him out and before long—and without any further exchange of words—she was naked and on top of him. They began to make love quietly. Nathan put out his hands and Haley clasped them as she leaned into him and found her groove. Once their movements became rhythmic, Haley let go of Nathan's hands and sat upright, letting her body take full control.

Nathan moved his hands to her hips and watched Haley. Although the view of her body closing over his, along with her long hair flowing over her shoulders and bouncing breasts were delightful, it was her facial expressions that held his interest. He wanted to tell her how sexy she was or ask her if she was enjoying herself, but there was no need. She was transparent. His girl was in her element, at his behest, and he wouldn't dare disturb that.

* * *

><p>With one hand tucked in under Haley and secured over her stomach, Nathan lifted his head up to get a peek at Haley. She was wide-awake, staring contentedly out at the beach through the opened sliding glass doors. Nathan pushed aside her hair off her shoulder and kissed the crux of her neck.<p>

Haley reached her behind her and rubbed the back of Nathan's head. They had been wrapped up in each other for a couple hours and she'd enjoyed every minute of it, but knew it was just about over. "What time is it?" She reluctantly asked.

Nathan twisted around, grabbed for his cellphone and got a look at the time. He saw he had a few missed calls and texts but they were from a number that wasn't programmed in his phone. Anyone like that surely didn't need his immediate attention. "Almost three," he told Haley as he put the phone aside.

"Good," Haley sighed, remaining completely still. "We don't have to get going just yet."

"Really?" Nathan asked as he lied back down and put both his hands around her waist. He did have an errand to run—to get a costume for this evening, but he didn't dare tell Haley, for fear of upsetting her or getting a lecture for waiting until the last minute.

"Soon…but not yet." Haley kept her gazed fixed on the ocean, watching the waves crash against the sand.

Nathan knew Lucas and Peyton were coming by early to help set up and were planning on spending the night, which did set off some concerns. "So what's the plan for tonight?"

"We have food. You'll have to do an alcohol run and Alana's nieces are going to come by to decorate."

"Alana's nieces?"

"They're in college and were looking to make some extra money. I didn't have time to get decorations, so it's a win-win."

"Ha," Nathan said impressed. Haley's relaxation now made sense. "Hey, why don't we ask them to stay and take care of the food? That way you can enjoy the party too."

"If you want," Haley sighed. She could tell there was more on Nathan's mind. "What else are you thinking about?"

He was still unsure how to handle things with his brother. "Are we playing the friends game? Even with our friends?"

Haley accepted that the respite from the outside world was over. "There's going to be so many people here. I think we should just steer clear of each other—not give anyone reason to talk."

"And Lucas? And Brooke?" Nathan asked thinking of the most intrusive of their close friends.

"Let them think what they want." Haley suddenly felt a slight shift in the air. She grabbed at the sheets and pulled them up over her body.

Nathan flew around and grabbed his vibrating cellphone. This time, he recognized the number. "Fuck."

Haley sat up and watched as Nathan put on his boxers, grabbed his cellphone and went out into the hallway. She listened to Nathan's voice, which echoed across the house, as he paced up and down the hallway.

"What the fuck do you want?...I don't care about your fucking messages. I already told you to stop calling me….That's bullshit...It's all about Rachel. Always has been…"

Nathan's voice was drowned out by the sound of his stomping footsteps down the stairs until it faded out completely.

Haley sat there unsure what to do. As a gust of wind swept through the open doors and into the room, she wrapped the bedsheet around her, got up and closed the doors. After a second thought, she locked them. She sat down on the bed and heard Nathan approaching.

"Hey," Nathan said apologetically. "I didn't mean to make you get up. Let's get back in bed."

Haley just looked at Nathan with wide, fearful eyes.

Nathan gently sat down on the bed next to her. "I'm guessing you know who that was."

"How long has she been calling you?"

"Just last night and today. She's in town and wants to come by."

"What did you tell her?" Haley asked.

"I took care of it," Nathan said sternly. "Don't worry about her, Hales. I've got her under control."

"So there's no chance she could crash the party tonight?" Haley asked in disbelief.

Nathan sighed heavily. "I don't think she will but to be honest, I hadn't thought of that."

Haley got up and looked out at the beach. The sky was darkening as a storm was rolling in. Her eyes went from the skyline to the set of stairs that lead down to the beach. "What if she's already been here?"

"You're giving her too much credit, Hales. She's way too self-involved to be a stalker. She's only coming around because she heard I made the team." Nathan moved behind Haley and began rubbing her shoulders. He felt horrible when he felt how tense she was. Although he enjoyed helping her relax, he hated how quickly his actions could also have the reverse effect. "Any chance we could forget this and lay back down?"

"I just can't," Haley said looking down. "And we thought hiding from our friends was going to be the problem tonight. How much trouble are we in with her?"

Nathan moved his mouth to Haley's ear. "It's going to be fine. Trust me."

* * *

><p>After taking one last sip, Haley set down her empty cup on a nearby end table. She readjusted the sleeves of her black leather boat neck shirt and tried to get comfortable in her own skin. It was no use. She'd been in the tight outfit, complete with black boots and leather pants, for over an hour now and it still didn't feel right. Brooke had set her up all right. For the past two weeks, she'd been peppering Haley with questions over the phone about Nathan. Haley didn't give her much to go on, so Brooke decided to take it up herself to give Haley a "sexy makeover." The makeover came in form of a Sandy costume from the movie <em>Grease<em>. Haley agreed, not realizing Brooke was thinking of the outfit Sandy wore in the final scenes. She nearly died when Brooke gave her the costume, but at this point she had little choice to wear it. It was better than the cheerleading costume.

Still, this costume had a curly blonde wig that added inches to her height and width and the bright red lipstick was too much for her liking. The entire ensemble did get her a lot of attention, which Haley assumed was Brooke's intention. Brooke seemed to be enjoying watching Haley fend off her suitors. Luckily, Brooke couldn't get a good read on Nathan's reaction. His Batman costume successful shielded his face. Haley, however, knew him well enough to read his eyes—which were glued to her from across the room. He wasn't happy, but he also kept his emotions in check. In the end, he trusted her. It was a far cry from the last party.

Haley trusted him as well—to deal with Rachel. She had to admit from time to time, her eyes wandered towards the door, but she forced herself to look away. Just before the first guests arrived, Nathan promised her Rachel wasn't going to crash. Clay wasn't in town and she was sure none of the ball players who saw her in Texas would recognize her in this costume—a true blessing in disguise.

Not wanting to draw much attention to herself—besides the obvious with the costume, Haley made a great effort _not _to appear as a co-host of the party. She stayed out of the kitchen, thanks to Alana's nieces, who had done an outstanding job decorating the beach house; inside and out. Out front there were mock gravestones with names of N.B.A teams. They even had one with Devon Fox on it, but Nathan spotted it and wisely made them take it down. He agreed it was funny, but didn't want to offend anyone on the team. Haley recognized this as another sign of maturity and professionalism.

Inside there were cobwebs affixed to the walls and bats suspended from the ceiling. The girls had a blast putting those things up and were thrilled when Nathan, half-dressed in his Batman costume offered to help them. They set up a fog machine by the French doors and added some flashing pumpkin and skulls lights across the top of the patio. It was a spooky vibe, enhanced by the thunder and lightning from the storm.

Once the girls heard of Nathan's offer to hire them to take care of the food, they became even more excited. They saw it was as a catering gig, and went about taking the simple items Haley had purchased and adding a Halloween theme to them. For example, they made the vegetable tray, heavy on carrots, out to be a pumpkin, with ranch dressing serving as the eyes and nose and green veggies as the mouth and stem. The pigs in a blanket were made to look like mummies, small pizza slices like candy corns and deviled eggs like bloodshot eyes. They even smattered dabs of ketchup along the white table cloth that lined the dining room table to double as gory blood stains.

The girls also went out and bought some last minute goods, like ice cubes that looked like eyeballs, a pink skull to put in the center of the meat platter, black and orange cupcakes and lots of food coloring and goods to use to make some creative desserts. They were all things that Haley would have loved to done herself, but she really didn't have time. She was lucky enough to have the sense to buy the Halloween themed paper goods. She was slightly envious of the enthusiasm and energy the girls had, but mostly grateful that Nathan had stepped in and relieved her from that stress.

Haley turned her body as she saw a young hotshot headed her way. To her relief, she found Lucas heading her way with a red solo cup in one hand and a bottle of beer in the other. He effectively cut the guy off. When Lucas reached her, he held up hands. "Take your pick. Courtesy of Mr. Bruce Wayne." He motioned to Nathan, who was tending to the bar.

Haley reached out for the cup and took a long sip. "Why, thank you, Mr. Lee."

Lucas shook his head as he looked over his Tommy Lee costume. He held his free arm up towards Haley. "I kinda like the tattoos."

"Peyton?" Haley asked knowing how artistic his fiancée was.

"Yup. This is all her work."

"It looks like she had a lot of fun with it," Haley snickered.

"Stop laughing!"

"Dude, I've seen you in your head gear," Haley reminded him.

"Don't call me, dude!" Lucas snapped. "And we weren't supposed to talk about that in public!"

"Whatever, dude," Haley laughed.

Lucas caught her infectious smile. He took a sip of his beer and gave Haley an approving nod. "You're looking good, Hales—and I'm not just talking about the costume. You look very….relaxed."

"Thanks," Haley smiled. "I feel good. Of course, it could be the Schnapps."

"Or it could be a certain superhero?" Lucas baited her.

"That might have a little something to do with it," Haley said innocently.

"So you admit it!" Lucas said pointing his finger at her.

Haley took his finger and pushed it down. "Shhh," she said looking around. "And I didn't admit to anything," she whispered.

"Oh, come on. He's _the one that you want_," Lucas joked.

Haley playfully tapped his arm. "You are so cheesy!"

"Ow," Lucas said rubbing his arm. "No, I mean it! Seriously, Hales. Aren't you getting killed at work now? I half-expected you to be holed up at the office tonight."

"I am busy, but I can enjoy a night off here and there."

Lucas put his arm around Haley and pulled her close to him. "You really are taking this costume seriously, huh?...And I just got _the chills_. They're _electrifying_," he said raising his eyebrows.

"_Tell me about it…Stud_," Haley said, mimicking another line from the movie.

* * *

><p>From the security of his mask and behind the bar, Nathan watched Lucas and Haley share a quiet laugh across the room. He was caught off guard when Peyton appeared at his side. "You're in trouble, sneaky Bruce."<p>

"What does that mean?"

"Don't think you're fooling me. You have that costume on just so you can keep an eye on everything without getting any attention."

"It's my house, Peyton. It's kind of hard to hide."

"There are so many tall guys here, I didn't know it was you at first." Peyton turned around and looked at Haley and Lucas. "Until I saw you staring at Haley. By the way, I think it's cute that you both have costumes of people that have alter egos."

"What's Haley's alter ego?" Nathan asked curiously.

"_Grease_? Sandy? She totally changes by the end of the movie," Peyton explained.

Nathan shrugged. "I've never seen it. I just figured she was a hooker."

Peyton swiftly smacked against Nathan's shoulder, which was encased in a plastic shield. "Ouch," she said nursing her hand. "You better not say that to her!" She gave Haley another look. "You have to admit, she looks hot."

"Haley always looks hot," Nathan said with a glint in his eye.

"Maybe she should have been Batgirl then, huh?"

"No—"

"Relax," Peyton said comfortingly. "I'm not prying for information, Nathan."

Nathan pointed toward her costume. "What do you have going on there?"

Peyton fingered her gray and black streaked hair and shifted her wings towards Nathan. "A dark angel."

"That suits you well," Nathan joked. "Maybe Lucas should have been the Grim Reaper."

"Touché. At least we have a intentionally have a theme going."

"What's that?" Nathan tested her.

"Uh,….We're both badass?" Peyton moved next to Nathan. "If you're not going to fix me a drink, step aside!"

Nathan began to shift around as Brooke entered the room. She was wearing a rather large orange costume and was having trouble navigating the room. She quickly spotted him and Peyton at the bar and made a beeline towards them. "Now here comes serious trouble."

"Hey there!" Brooke exclaimed when she reached the bar. "Were you two just talking about how hot Haley looks?"

"I was just trying to explain to Nathan exactly who Sandy is," Peyton said, covering for Nathan.

"Oh," Brooke said excitedly. "At the start of the movie, Sandy was an uptight, preppy girl who didn't know how to have a good time. Then she met this guy, Danny, who showed her how to loosen up a bit."

"Yeah, basically the girl gives up who she is for the guy," Peyton said wryly.

"You don't have to put it like that," Brooke said to Peyton. "I thought you liked that movie!"

"I did….Until the last scene where she's dressed like-" Due to the glare from Brooke, Peyton changed her tune. "Well, like I was telling Nathan, Haley does look hot."

"P. Sawyer , you own more leather clothes than anyone I know!"

Nathan wasn't in the mood to listen to Peyton and Brooke argue over something so silly. "So why did you pick that costume for Haley?" He asked Brooke. "It doesn't seem like her at all."

"That's the point. It's Halloween." Brooke smiled brightly at Nathan. "And I thought she needed to loosen up a bit. And it's a good thing too because that girl really needs to get laid. Haley obviously agrees with me or she wouldn't have worn the costume."

"Brooke!" Peyton yelled.

"What?" Brooke asked innocently. "There's an obvious difference in her since she broke up with Nathan. The girl needs to get back in the game—and get some action."

"I'm right here, Brooke," Nathan said, narrowing his eyes at Brooke.

"I know," Brooke said unaffected. "Things are clearly over between the two of you, so what's the big deal?"

Nathan knew Brooke was playing him; he just knew it…but he couldn't control himself. He could not let those comments about Haley go. "Hales seems like she's having a good time."

The three of them looked over at Haley, who was sipping her drink and talking animatedly with Lucas.

"Sure, now that's she's in the costume," Brooke said satisfactorily. "When I was dressing her, she was so uptight. Stiff as a board. I can't blame her. She's swamped at work and really doesn't have an outlet."

Nathan was happy that Brooke couldn't read his facial expressions. He honestly didn't know what to think. Was Brooke telling the truth? Haley did get worked up over Rachel, after all. He thought he had handled it. In fact, he was sure he did. Had Haley caught on to him? Did she know about the deal he made with Rachel? Or had she simply been unable to let go of her phone call?

"Brooke, stop putting Nathan on," Peyton said.

"I'm not worried," Nathan said testily. "This is coming from someone dressed like a fruit."

"I'm not just a fruit," Brooke huffed. "You need to see Julian. Damn him! No one gets the costume without him around." She started looking around the room, nearly knocking Peyton over. "Julian! Julian! Julian!"

Brooke waddled off and Nathan noticed Haley heading out of his view. He took a few steps away from the bar and saw she was headed upstairs. "Hey, Peyton, can you watch the bar for a few minutes?"

Peyton waved Lucas over. "Tommy will help me. You go check on your girlfriend."

"Peyton—"

"Go!" Peyton ordered him. "Before Brooke sees you!"

Nathan took her advice and moved along. When he reached his bedroom, he went inside and shut the double doors. He found Haley in the bathroom, examining herself in the mirror. He took off his mask and stood behind her and made eye contact through the mirror.

When Haley saw him, she took off her wig and began smoothing out her long, honey-blonde hair. "I look stupid."

"You don't look like you," Nathan clarified.

"I figured it would be good if I didn't look like myself."

"So once again, you got a sexy makeover for me?" Nathan asked as he buried his face in the side of her head.

Haley quickly perked up. "For me, too. It was fun for a while. I like feeling sexy."

Nathan picked his head up. "But not anymore?"

Haley turned around to face him. He remained pushed up against her, his body armor against her chest. Her breath was taken away as she took the massive size of his costume. "I feel my sexiest with you—so tonight has been a giant tease."

"You like my costume," Nathan smirked. It was the only costume they had left in his size, but he always fancied himself the superhero type anyway. If it was a turn on for Haley, even better. He put his hands around Haley's back, letting his cape surround her. As her hand glided up his armor, he moved his hand down to her ass and gave her a firm squeeze.

As she jumped, he quickly came to the conclusion Brooke must have been right. Haley was on edge and he wasn't helping matters. As a boyfriend, he was a disappointment, leaving his girl unsatisfied time and time again. He moved his hands to her belt buckle and started to unclasp it. "Let me take care of you—right now," he murmured into her ear.

Haley's eyes flew open as she fought of competing desires of lust and anxiety. As Nathan began to struggle with getting his hands inside her tight leather pants, the anxiety won out. "We can't do this now," she said, pushing his hands away.

"Why not?" Nathan asked, undeterred as his hand went back to her thighs.

"You have any idea how long it took me to get into these pants? And I know it took you a while too!—"

"Brooke had to help me with the cape."

"—Not to mention there are a houseful of people down there to congratulate you making the team—"

"I don't care about any of those people."

"That's real nice. Seriously, Nathan," Haley whined. She was boxed in with little room for movement.

"We'll make this quick." Nathan lifted her up and set her down on the vanity beside the sink. He began to unclasp his own belt buckle when Haley's hands stopped him.

"Nathan, what's going on here?" She asked with concern.

"Nothing." He moved his lips to her ear and started to nibble on her earlobe. With one hand, he groped her breasts, while he moved the other in between her legs. "Just taking care of my girl."

Haley leaned back and let the lust take over for a few seconds. Her core was pulsating and sweating in the heat. "Oh, God….No, no, no!" She said straightening up. "Stop," she put her hands on his chest and gave him a tough push, but he didn't really move far.

Nathan chuckled. "You want to take this to bed?"

Haley jumped off the vanity, fixed her belt and grabbed her wig. "I told you. Not now. God, you get me so wound up!"

"You were already wound up."

"No," Haley said as she fixed her wig back on. "I was relaxed—just getting a little bored, which is entirely different than how I feel right now!"

"You want me," Nathan grinned.

Haley tried her best not to look at him. "It's beside the point. I can't have you right now. Instead, we have to go downstairs and pretend not to even know each other." She finally looked at Nathan, with serious eyes. "I don't know if this is going to work. I don't know if I can stay away from you."

Nathan was starting to feel like his venture to check on her made things worse. It was time to shift gears. "We'll let's not then. Let's go downstairs and if we end up next to each other, then let it be."

Haley crossed her arms in frustration. "I'm overthinking this."

Nathan got a mischievous look in his sparkling blue eyes. Haley didn't need to relax….She needed to have fun, because having fun is what made her relax. "Let's have fun with this."

Haley cocked her head to the side. "What does that mean?"

"You'll see." Nathan turned her towards opening to his bedroom. "Go back down—but go out the stairs to the beach. If nothing else, we can drive Brooke crazy trying to figure the two of us out."

Haley was starting to catch on. This back and forth game they were playing was irritating the hell of out of Brooke. Maybe it would be fun to put her in her place—especially after picking that costume out for Haley! As she headed out into the salty breeze of the warm beach air, she tried to tap into the mind of Sandy, the version she was dressed in honor of. She could have fun with that…

* * *

><p>Back at the party, Nathan let Lucas tend to the bar and began mingling with guests. There were a few Laker's players there, including Nino and Tony, but the rest of the team had plans of their own. Nathan couldn't blame them. He was the newbie and needed to prove himself, both as a fierce competitor on the court and solid teammate all-around. Then, maybe one day his parties would be the one no one missed. For now, he was happy just to have some showing from the team.<p>

Out of the corner of his eye, Nathan saw the ball of orange making its way toward him. He turned slightly to his side and spotted Peyton. "Hey, how's Lucas looking over there? Think he needs help?"

"You know who needs help? Haley," Brooke said pushing her way in front of him. "But you know that since I saw you chasing her up the stairs."

"I don't know where Haley is," Nathan said pretending to casually look around. Just then, he spotted her coming in from the patio. "There. She must have been out on the beach."

Haley kept her head held high and her eyes fixed on the corner wall of the room. She could feel eyes watching her as she tried to perfect her most confident strut. She saw Brooke waving her over and smoothly shifted in that direction. She stood next to Nathan, but purposely ignored his presence. "Great party, huh?"

Nathan discreetly put his hand on the small of Haley's back, but didn't give her much attention otherwise.

Brooke narrowed her eyes as she looked the two of them over. "Gee, that's funny."

"What?" Peyton asked as they all looked around.

Brooke put her finger by her lips. "Nathan's belt buckle in on upside down. It wasn't like that earlier. And Haley, yours looks off too."

For a flicker of a second, Haley held out hope that Nathan wouldn't take her bait, but of course he did. The second his eyes and hands went to his belt, Brooke burst into laughter and pointed at him.

"Ha! You two were up to no good upstairs! I knew it!" Brooke said with a triumphant smile.

Haley put one hand on her hip and pointed sternly at Brooke. "You have a wild imagination."

"I used the bathroom," Nathan said. "And let me tell you, this cape," he said flashing it around, "is as annoying as hell."

"How long did it take you to put that thing on?" Haley asked wisely.

"I don't know," Nathan said, smiling at Brooke. "How long did it take? Would you say ten, fifteen minutes, Brooke?"

Brooke pursed her lips and tried to cross her arms but really couldn't in that costume.

"Brooke?" Peyton piped in.

"It took a while," Brooke reluctantly admitted.

"Are you enjoying yourself, Brooke?" Nathan asked, feigning concerned. "Because you seem a little on edge. Where is Julian? Maybe you need him to help you through this."

"You're an ass," Brooke spat out. She stormed off, no doubt looking for Julian.

"You two are bad," Peyton grinned.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Haley said coyly.

Nathan put his arm fully around Haley's waist and left it there, shielded by his cape. "She's loosing it."

"Well you know Brooke," Peyton said, "and she's not going to let this go until she knows exactly what is going on between you two. It's her mission tonight."

"She has too much time on her hands," Haley said.

"It's more like she cares," Peyton said softly. "We all do. And the last party did have its share of drama."

"That's behind us now," Nathan declared. "And no one needs to worry about us."

"They don't," Haley confirmed. She broke free from Nathan's grip and started to walk away, heading towards Lucas. "And now time for another drink."

* * *

><p>The game they set out to play driving Brooke crazy quickly transferred into something different. Ever since the encounter in the bathroom upstairs, a sexual energy was left untapped. The alcohol that ran through their veins exacerbated those feelings. The current was electric and at times crippled each of them as they took turns chasing each other down and ignoring each other from across the room.<p>

At one point, when Nathan's smoldering eyes beamed into her from a few feet away, Haley felt weak in the knees and almost lost her balance. Luckily, she fell back against the wall and stayed propped up there for a while, sipping on her drink, as Nathan pretended to talk to some of his friends, but kept his eyes fixed on her.

A little later, Nathan almost lost it when Haley played with a cherry from her drink. She pushed that little red ball in and out of her mouth, sucking on it like a lollypop until she suddenly bit it off the stem. His hand inadvertently flew to the bulge forming in his pants. He had to use his cape to shield it for a while until he calmed down.

The place couldn't clear out fast enough for either one of them. Luckily, thanks to Alana's nieces, there wasn't much to clean up. To their relief, Lucas and Peyton were the only ones spending the night. Nathan and Haley didn't even bother to pretend they were sleeping apart. They were both physically exhausted from their little game and emotionally worn out. Of course, that all changed as the passion between them exploded once they were in the security of Nathan's bedroom. With the storm gone, they had only the sounds of the beach to compete with.

* * *

><p>Although they were twisted up the sheets, Nathan and Haley only felt the security of flesh on flesh as the basked in afterglow of lovemaking. Lying side by side, with Haley's chest nestled in Nathan's, his hands held her shoulders, as her hands roamed his back. By this point, their once hot bodies were cooling down from the beads of sweat that lined their bodies. Despite the calmness sweeping through the rest of their bodies, their lips remained affixed, in a series of deep, lingering kisses.<p>

Haley kept her mouth opened wide as Nathan continued to slip his tongue inside her mouth. The lower halves of their bodies were no longer conjoined, so it was nice to have the same type of connection with their mouths. When their lips parted to allow in some air, Haley's hands moved down to Nathan's butt cheeks. Paying him back for his actions in the bathroom earlier, she gave them a firm squeeze, forcing him to open his eyes. They shared amused smiles as their lips fully retracted.

"You have a nice ass," Haley teased him, her hands still place firmly on his cheeks.

"You feeling good, baby?" Nathan asked, reading her body language.

Haley nestled her head along chin line. "You have to ask?"

"Well, since you said my name more than God's, I'd call that a victory," Nathan joked.

Haley laughed, not doubting for one second he'd keep a mental count of her utterances of "Oh God" and "Oh Nathan." "Nathan-1, God-0," she confirmed.

"I think God may have a few up on me," Nathan said pulling slightly away and coughing. "No worries. I'll catch up. I just need a drink first." He made a motion to get up, but Haley pulled him back down.

"Nathan," she said tenderly cupping his face. "I'm so happy right now." Silence encased the room as the words sunk in.

Haley could feel the inner conflict running throughout Nathan and seeping out of his eyes. Her mind began to race as she felt the need to offer up evidence to prove her point. "I know my work is crazy and it overwhelms me but…looking at my research—it's exciting. I'm excited about it, I really am. And working with Dr. Muller as opposed to Rimkus, that's been great—time consuming, but great. I'm learning so much more from him, than I did from her. I don't even mind seeing the patients on my load. Then there's Matthew—seeing him twice a week and witnessing his growth—it makes me excited for the experimental part of the grant. I can't wait to bring him in to the office to see how he does with other children like him. But the best," she said running her hand through the damp fuzz across his head, "are the nights sprinkled in when I get to see you-and I can't wait to see you play."

Nathan fed Haley the same lines he'd given people all night. "I'm excited. The Mavericks won't know what hit them."

Haley could see beyond his cocky exterior. She still couldn't get over how she missed that the first time they'd met in the elevator. "Are you nervous?" She asked quietly, studying him.

Nathan swallowed hard and coughed as his saliva got caught in his dry throat. "Anxious, maybe. Everyone's going to be watching—Devon's fans, those talk radio guys you listen to, the guys on the team, you, Matthew—God, I don't want to disappoint him."

"You could never disappoint Matthew," Haley said sternly. "You're his hero."

"But what if I suck? What if I get put in and they pull me out—"

"Then he'll see your resilience," Haley said moving his hand under her shoulder, "but I don't think that's going to really happen. Do you?"

"No," Nathan said, feeling her confidence running through his veins. He flew out of bed and began to head towards the double doors, stark naked. "I need to get that drink before you make me horny again."

"Nathan!" Haley stumbled out of bed, taking as sheet with her, and caught up to him. "Don't you dare go down there like that!"

"Peyton and Lucas are in bed and I'm hot again—your fault, by the way," he said, pointing at her.

Haley grabbed her silky bathrobe and secured it around her waist. "I'll go get the drink. You say here and," she looked around the room, focusing on the messy bed, "clean up."

Nathan took a few steps back and fell back on the bed. "I'll stay here and rest up."

Haley didn't give him the satisfaction of seeing her eye roll. She headed downstairs, taking her time, letting her foot fall flat on each step. Her body was so loose and relaxed it reminded her of a bowl full of Jello. It was an amazing feeling brought forth by the melding of her body with Nathan's. Not paying much attention, she almost slid on the tile floor as she bumped into Peyton in the kitchen.

"Wow," Peyton said as she regained her balance. She looked over Haley's shoulder. "I half expected the Dark Knight to fly in and sweep you off your feet."

"The costume is off," Haley laughed. Her cheeks began to redden as she saw the awkwardness of the situation. She was naked under her flimsy excuse of a robe and had just admitted Nathan was as well. Even worse, Peyton was wearing one of Lucas' t-shirts and had a bottle of Gatorade in her hand. Clearly, the two couples had been up to the same sorted activities.

Haley moved aside Peyton as she rode out her embarrassment and opened up the refrigerator. She let the cool air hit for a few seconds as she reached for a bottle of Gatorade for Nathan. "So, um," she said turning around, "please don't tell anyone about Nathan and I spending the night together."

"It's none of my business," Peyton said with a sly smile.

"It was just too hard to stay just friends," Haley began to explain.

"You don't have to tell me," Peyton smiled. "I've been through that with Lucas. The only difference is that our careers weren't tied up in it."

"But it did complicate things," Haley said, raising her voice slightly. "Lucas stayed in L.A. so you could work in the music industry and…. you're going to have to put up with him going on a book tour right after you get married."

Peyton nodded knowingly. "He told you we're going to move back to Tree Hill, didn't he?"

Haley guiltily looked away. Lucas had spilled the beans earlier that evening but swore her to secrecy.

"I knew it," Peyton laughed. "He made me promise not to say anything, then he goes and tells you! Did he tell you why?"

"He did," Haley sheepishly admitted.

"Damn him!" Peyton stomped her foot. "He wasn't supposed to tell you that! Don't tell anyone that. I don't want to be under pressure to start cranking out babies."

"I don't get it," Haley said confused. "How would finding a place to set up a studio put you under pressure to have babies?-Wait, are you—"

"NO!" Peyton said loudly. "God, no…but that is the goal….Once we move back to Tree Hill. There! Boy, you are good, making me tell you all these things. I bet that comes in handy with your patients."

Haley laughed. "That was all you, Peyton. Lucas just made it seem like moving back to Tree Hill was some big compromise you were making as a couple."

"Lucas can write from anywhere," Peyton pointed out. "No, we're moving back because that's where we want to start a family, and we plan on starting sooner, rather than later."

"So what about the studio?"

Peyton shrugged. "I'd still like to do some producing….maybe start an indie record label, but Lucas and I agreed when I get pregnant, family is going to come first."

"That's the way it should be. When you have a family, that should come before everything else," Haley said. She left the rest of that sentence unsaid, but Peyton knew Haley's stance on that. It was the reason she didn't see having a family in her future….but that was before Nathan.

Peyton put her hand on Haley's shoulder. "You know, Nathan's not going to be in the N.B.A. forever."

"I know, but do you have any idea how many years it takes to build a successful psychiatry practice?" Haley realized she was giving away more about her thoughts on the matter than she intended. "This is more that's between Nathan and me."

"Sorry," Peyton apologized. "So I hear Matthew is coming to the game. It's a good thing it's not on Halloween, huh? I'd imagine it'd be a tossup between Halloween and the game."

Haley felt a pit forming in her stomach. "Wait—When's Halloween?"

"Monday," Peyton answered quickly. "As in two days. Game on Tuesday. Right? Am I missing something?"

"What does that make today?" Haley asked as she did some calculations in her head.

"The 29th…Well, technically it's after midnight so it's the 30th."

Haley slowly nodded.

"Are you okay? You look a little pale." Peyton turned towards the refrigerator. "Maybe you should get a drink."

"No, I'm fine. I just lost track of the date. I didn't realize Halloween was so soon." Haley forced a smile at Peyton. "I want to see Matthew for Halloween so I'll have to rearrange my schedule."

"You are a busy girl. Are you sitting with him at the game?"

"Yeah, but come over and meet him. Lucas knows his family."

"We definitely will. It's going to exciting, huh?"

"Yeah. Real exciting." With her throat suddenly dry, Haley headed towards the refrigerator. "You know what? I think I will grab a drink."

"I'm going to head up. You know how boys are; I bet Lucas is sound asleep by now."

"Right," Haley said as she gulped down some water. With Peyton gone, she took a minute to herself before heading up. As soon as she was through the hallway, she saw the double doors to the bedroom opened up a crack, showing a full length view of a still very naked Nathan.

"Nathan!" Haley rounded the stairs and moved up as quickly as she could. When she reached the top, she saw Nathan was now standing back, with only his head in view.

"What took you so long?" Nathan asked impatiently.

Haley plowed into him and shut the door behind him. "I can't believe you! Peyton was up!"

"I know. I heard her come up then I almost came down and got you myself." Nathan took the Gatorade from her hand, tore off the cap and gulped it down in one swig.

Haley stood there watching him in amazement. His body was glistening. His six pack was stacked. And he was full aroused…which had the same effect on her.

Nathan set down his empty bottle and undid the tie holding Haley's robe together. She stood there, as still as a stone, looking up at him with her big brown eyes, beckoning him to continue. He complied by gently pushing the robe off her shoulders and letting it fall at her feet.

"Nathan…" Haley trailed off unable to form any logical thoughts.

Nathan put his hands gently on her hips and began to walk her back to the bed. "You are so beautiful."

Haley knew she had something important to tell him but couldn't remember it. Once again, she chose to feel the strong emotions Nathan brought her, instead of hearing the thoughts in her mind.

Once at the bed, Nathan leaned into her, kissing her as he carefully helped her body reach the bed.

Once she was flat on her back, her eyes were forced open as the warmth of Nathan's body left her. She quickly saw what was going on. Nathan wasn't intending on joining her—not yet anyway. Instead, he pulled her body to the edge of the bed, spread out her legs and moved down to the floor. Now eye level with her center, he slowly felt her wet center, causing a series of soft moans from Haley. When he was satisfied, he grabbed onto the inside of her legs and moved his mouth to that area and began bringing her a pleasure that carried her away to a heavenly state. She led his name cross her lips as her body twisted around as the pressure stemming from her center began to spread throughout her body. In her head, she could hear Nathan's words, the same one's he always issued in this circumstance and she began to relax. She stopped twisting but her body involuntarily arched towards him and without warning, she screamed out as she reached her climax.

Nathan pulled away from Haley, with a wide grin on his face. He rubbed the inside of her leg as she came down from her high. Once her breathing steadied, he moved off his knees and stood up. Her hair was spread out all around her and the sheets on the bed were crumpled up on both sides of her body. "You're a messy girl," he teased.

Haley blinked hard as Nathan came into focus. He was standing upright in front of her, but once again, his hardened member captured her sight and sent little tingling waves through her body. She twitched a little and from the slight smirk on Nathan's mouth, she knew he noticed.

"That's right," Nathan said grabbing her legs once more. "I'm not done with you yet." He hooked her legs above his ass and let his arousal hit her very wet center.

"Oh," Haley moaned. She longed to feel more of that force between her legs, but something was wrong. This time her instincts were telling her something different. As he began to enter her, she thrust her pelvic area towards him, forcing him to back away.

Nathan looked startled at first but recovered quickly. He squeezed her legs to comfort her. "Relax, baby. This is going to be good. I can feel it."

"Condom," Haley spat out breathlessly.

Nathan flinched hard and took a step back, letting her legs fall down from his waist. "What?"

"Do you have a one?" Haley tried her hardest to keep her focus. "Because we might need one. I think. Do you?"

Nathan helplessly looked around the room. "Maybe..somewhere." As his member started pulsating, he had no choice but to take it in his hands and give himself some relief. "God."

Haley tried to get up, but her body wouldn't cooperate. Instead she reached out for him. "Nathan."

Nathan flew down back to her, still with his feet on the floor, but hovering over her, as he let his hardness brush up against her center. "Do I really need one? I mean, really?"

Haley slowly shook her head. "No."

"You're still—"

"Yes."

"Can I—"

"Yes," Haley said readily. "I want you. Please, Nathan," she said desperately. "Now."

Nathan stood back up, and lifted the lower half of her body back towards his. He plunged inside of her with renewed vigor.

* * *

><p>Nathan fell down against the bed, and boxed Haley in with his arms beside her head. Her eyes were closed, in utter contentment, but also pure exhaustion. "Hey."<p>

Haley sleepily opened her eyes and saw the concern in Nathan's eyes. She put her thumb to his cheek and gave him a soft kiss. "That was amazing."

Nathan didn't need reassurance there. He'd lost control of himself, using more force than he intended. Haley was going to be sore in the morning, but for now, she looked blissful….which made it worth it….or maybe not as the anxiety returned.

"Are we in trouble?" Nathan asked, his voice creaking.

"I don't know." Haley closed her eyes but quickly reopened them as her intuition kicked in. The statistics were in their favor. "I don't think so. I mean, it wouldn't be the first time we got carried away."

"And you're on the pill, right? That's what you said."

Haley shook her head emphatically. "We'll be fine," she said closing her eyes again.

Nathan shifted to her side. "Good. Because I don't want to worry about condoms anymore."

Haley heard him but was too tired to respond. No condoms at all? Ever? Just relying on the pill? She wasn't sure she was in favor of that. After all, each time they were intimate, there was a chance, just a small chance, she could conceive. And the more they were intimate, the more chances there were—that was like asking for trouble.

The thoughts stopped as sleep overcame her. Her body had won out over her mind once again.

* * *

><p>Trouble, as it turns out, comes in many forms. Sometimes it is expected and other times, unexpected. At Nathan's game, this source of trouble was both. Haley had been preparing for it for a while, but when it came, it was a shock. That bright red, long hair reminded her of a flame that had the potential to light a fire that could burn her entire world down in mere minutes. Would she do that? Haley couldn't tell. All she knew, as she sat in the stands with Matthew's family in the minutes before the game, was that Rachel Gatina was there, front and center, to cheer on Nathan. Yes, she was playing the role of devoted girlfriend and cheerleader to perfection, while Haley sat on the sidelines. At least Haley wasn't in much danger from there. Then again, fire did spread quickly—especially wildfire.<p>

* * *

><p>Preview of next chapter: "Lose Yourself" (Eminem)<p>

AN: First, I want to acknowledge this is not set in 2012. I am using a real calendar to track dates but since I was unsure where the story would end when I started it and I didn't want to write too far into the future, I've intentionally kept the year vague. I still thought it was pretty cool that the posting time for this story matched up w/Halloween!

Thanks to everyone that gave me feedback on the last chapter. I was interested to see what you thought of Jeff since he wasn't an OTH character. It's very rare that I create my own character, but no one from OTH really fit what I was going for. The reviews were spot-on, so I think I got my points across.

Sorry about the cliffhanger. I had to put it in since it connected to the theme for the chapter. The next chapter is about Nathan's game and I can give you a sneak peek if you are interested. Thanks for reading and good luck to all of you affected by Sandy.


	41. Chapter 41

**Disclaimer #1**: Characters, minor plot points and dialogue belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and _One Tree Hill_ writers.

**Disclaimer #2**: Although my career is in the field of psychology, I have taken a lot of liberties with my story. My background is nothing like Haley's in this story. Her story only has _a little_ basis in reality. I know many people in that field who have given me inspiration for details here and there, but this situation is entirely fictional. Please don't take what you read as fact, especially when it comes to the research discussed and ethics of practicing psychology. As with all my stories, you have to use the suspension of disbelief, just as you do with our favorite tv show. The examples in this story are merely for plot purposes. If you do have questions or concerns about the psychological elements of the story, please feel free to **pm me**. I'd love to discuss! If you simply leave me an anonymous review, I can't respond and clear up any confusion, such as the point of view and plot of the story. So please, get in touch **directly**!

Chapter 41: "Lose Yourself" (Eminem)

Nathan sat on the wooden bench outside his locker, in the final moments before shooting practice, listening to his music from his iPod. His knee uncontrollably bounced up and down. He turned the music up, trying to drown out the voice sounding inside his mind.

It was his father's voice. It was angry. It was condescending. It was disparaging. "Don't blow it, son! This is your one opportunity! You keep your head in the game! Don't make an embarrassment of me, you understand?"

Nathan thought he worked through his issues with his father, but here they were resurfacing at the worst possible time. The disappointment, as he saw how weak he was, set off a snowball effect of negative emotions that made him sick to his stomach. He sat there, trying to listen to the lyrics of the rap music, willing himself to feel the beat instead of the nausea. He wanted to hurl so badly, but would rather die first. There was no way he let the guys see his nerves like that.

"Let's go!" One of coaches shouted out as he streamed through the locker room.

Nathan took off his ear buds and stored his iPod in his locker. He took a deep breath and headed out of the locker room. As he made his way to the court, he thought about the tools Haley stressed in her therapy sessions. He needed more positive self-talk and less negative. His father's voice was, at this point in his life, a manifestation of his own fears—and those _he could control_. He could control them by changing his thinking.

God, he longed for Haley right now. He just needed to _see_ her. She could single-handedly change his entire attitude. In reality, he would be lucky if she made the tip-off.

He tried not to pressure her, but also made it point to let her know he wanted her there early enough to see him when he came out on the court for the first time as a member of the N.B.A. They would call his name, flash the three-dimensional professional shot of him on the big screen, and he'd run on there and join his teammates. He would be looking for Haley's reaction because somehow—and he still couldn't get over it—she hadn't figured out his surprise for her. It was a true testament of how busy she was with work that she hadn't even seen him play on tv. So now he really wanted to see her face when she finally figured it out. He certainly wasn't going to have that opportunity in the middle of a game.

Yes, Haley had been distracted lately and Nathan knew it was more than her work. She texted him like crazy, but insisted on spending Sunday night apart. Nathan tried to respect her wishes, but in the end he decided to take her sister and mother's advice. Both had warned him about Haley's tendency to push people away and they asked him to watch out for that. When Nathan felt Haley shutting her out, he gave her a little space but ultimately snuck over to her place in the middle of the night to sleep with her. The following night, he convinced her to spend the night at his place with the concession that he let her be while she worked. So he went upstairs and waited for her join him. In the wee hours of the morning, he noticed the other half of the bed was empty and ventured downstairs. He saw that Haley had fallen asleep on his couch that faced the beach. He didn't have the heart to wake her, so he just laid a blanket over her and returned to bed alone. Now, as he tried to clear his mind from his father's taunts, he wondered if Haley intentionally wanted to spend the night away from him. Did this have something to do with their intimate counters on the night of the Halloween party? Was she, unlike him, wanting physical separation? Was their relationship in trouble?

As soon as Nathan reached the edge of the open floor, he recognized Matthew's high pitch squeal. He could tell it was a sound of excitement more than anything else. When he reached the bench, he saw the Walsh family stationed a few rows back. They must have just moved up to some empty seats to watch the practice. Nathan had personally selected some seats for them that were a bit higher up at Linda's request. She wasn't sure how her son would handle the stadium and didn't want Matthew, who had a habit of wandering off, running out on the court. Haley was due to sit with them, while his friends had court-side seats. Nathan couldn't help but glance around the stadium, now half-full, to see if there was anyone else he recognized. Sure enough, Haley wasn't there yet.

When Matthew spotted Nathan, he tried to jump out of his father's arms. Shootout practice was the time for the ball players to interact with their younger fans, but it looked like the routine was to do that after warming up. Nathan, however, had no choice but to go over and talk to the little boy now.

Nathan walked to the edge of the seats and Linda and Jared came down. Matthew was still squirming in his father's arms to get to Nathan. He was wearing a Laker's jersey and shorts. He guessed it had his name and number on the back, since that was his Halloween costume the night before.

Once he reached them, Nathan held up his hand for him to settle down, but Matthew instead leaned in for a high-five.

"Yeah, Buddy! Thanks for coming," Nathan said to the three of them.

"Are you kidding?" Jared asked. "This is great! My brother-in-law is so jealous."

"I'll get you more tickets next time. Did you find your seats for the game?" Nathan asked.

"They're perfect," Linda smiled.

"AHHHH!" Matthew's high pitch scream rang out. He began to wildly squirm and threw himself towards Nathan.

Some heads from all directions turned to see the commotion.

Linda stepped in front of Nathan and started to talk to Matthew in calm voice.

"Who's this?" A voice behind them said.

Nathan turned around and saw Dwayne, with a basketball tucked by his hip, standing there trying to get a glimpse at Matthew.

Before Nathan could respond, Matthew straightened up. "42! 42!"

"This is Matthew," Nathan told Dwayne.

Matthew looked down and furrowed his brow. He began whispering in a low, nearly intelligible voice, "1,025, 1,022, 22,591, 2, 914, 2,999—"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Dwayne said loudly. "What are you saying, boy?"

Jared nudged his son. "Matthew, lift your head so Mr. Stone can hear you."

Matthew lifted his head up and began repeating the numbers. "1,025, 1,022, 22,591, 2, 914, 2,999—"

"I knew it! Those are my stats!" Dwayne said excitedly. He quieted down and let Matthew finish out his recitation. "Wow!"

"My buddy is amazing with numbers," Nathan bragged.

Instead of taking in the applause, Matthew immediately began repeating the cycle of numbers. "1,025, 1,022, 22,591, 2, 914,-"

Dwayne, moved the ball under his arm and put his hands over his ear for the next number.

"2,999—"

"I do not need to hear about my turnovers, boy! You can keep that one to yourself!"

Everyone, but Matthew laughed.

"Man, that's the one number I knew going into tonight!" Dwayne explained. "I'm not ready to make that a round number."

"Matthew knows stats of the whole team," Jared said proudly as he relaxed his grip on his son.

"Post-season too?" Dwayne asked smiling at Matthew.

Matthew had his eyes fixed on the ball, which suddenly slipped out from under Dwayne's arm. He lunged out of his father's arms, landed on his knees, but quickly got up and ran after the ball. He was nearly run over on the court by a one of the guys shagging balls.

Nathan scooped up Matthew, who was clutching the ball in his grip.

Dwayne joined them and held out his hands. "I got this, Scott. Hey, Matthew, how about I let you dunk a ball out on the court? But it's got to be real fast before our time's up. Come on. Hop on my shoulders."

Matthew turned his back to Dwayne and threw his body over Nathan's shoulder, letting the ball drop to the ground.

"He can be shy," Nathan began to nervously explain.

Dwayne picked up the ball and smiled. "I get it. Hey, tell you what, Matthew—I'm going to take this ball and get all the guys to sign it. Then maybe you can join us in the locker room after the game so we can present it to you."

Matthew turned around and held out an arm. "Ball!"

"After the game," Dwayne said. "And you keep count of those numbers, for me, huh? And I'll try my best not to push the turnovers up to 3,000."

"1,499," Matthew said, making brief eye contact with Nathan.

"I knew I liked you!" Dwayne exclaimed. "That's right. I'll work on getting my steals up so we can bump that to at least 1,500! Deal?"

Matthew reached over and high-fived Dwayne.

Dwayne put his hand on Nathan's shoulders. "Let's get going, rookie. I can feel Coach watching us."

Nathan handed Matthew over to Jared and jogged over to catch up with the guy at one end of the hoop. He watched as some of the younger guys stepped out of the way for Dwayne.

Dwayne took aim, made the shoot and stepped out of the way. Nathan cautiously remained on the sidelines. He wasn't sure exactly where he stood in terms of the unofficial hierarchy of the team and didn't want to overstep his bounds. As far as he could tell, the veteran players got more shooting time, while the younger guys did the shagging.

"So what's the deal with the boy?" Dwayne asked curiously.

"He's a good friend—his family is good friends of mine," Nathan said slowly.

"I'm just asking because my foundation—you know my charity work—it supports children with developmental and intellectual challenges. It's inspired by my cousin's son—Justin has Down's Syndrome."

"I didn't realize," Nathan said honestly. He knew nothing about the charity efforts of his teammates. It made it easier to be more direct with Dwayne. "Matthew has autism."

"I knew he was special," Dwayne said with a wide-grin. "Man, I love working with special kids. My group helps kids with muscular dystrophy, cerebral palsy, Down's of course, autism and Asperger's—"

Nathan's eyes lit up. "Haley-I know another kid with Asperger's. He's a trip. Been kicking my ass at Mortal Kombat for a few weeks now," Nathan said.

"I know kids like that. They have intense focus. Anyway, have you thought about getting some charity gigs going?"

Nathan shrugged. "My agent mentioned it but he thinks I need to build up a following first."

"Dude, you gotta get on this!" Dwayne said excitedly. He began pointing out the various players around them. "Cruz has a foundation for pediatric aids, Pule does work for breast cancer research, Battle is the spokesperson for Big Brother/Big Sister, Silva's foundation helps people living in poverty, Robertson is for cancer research—all kinds of cancer—and the Laker's organization is—"

"For youth in L.A., I knew that," Nathan interjected as he tossed a ball to Dwayne. "We did a couple of things on the D-Fenders."

"Well, expect that times a hundred!" Dwayne dribbled the ball a few times, but remained planted on the sidelines with Nathan. "So you outta start thinking about getting things going. You know, so you can capitalize on things when the Scott fever hits."

Nathan unsuccessfully fought off the smile forming around his lips. "I'll talk to my agent."

"Good," Dwayne said, satisfied. "Tell you what, I'll help you out, too. You can tag along to some of my events just to get the feel for it. It's going to take a while to get the paperwork going anyway. So what focus will you take on?"

The answer was obvious to him. "Autism—Unless," Nathan paused as he began to think it over. "I don't want to step on any toes—with your foundation or anyone else's—"

Dwayne laughed loudly. "Relax, Scott. On this team, we work _together_, not _against each other_." He took a few steps away and gave Nathan an approving nod. "That's why they brought you in, right?"

"Hey Scott," Coach Rivera yelled angrily from the bench area. "Are you going to sit on the sidelines all night or get in there and warm up? You better decide right now or I'm going to change the starting lineup!"

Nathan quickly grabbed a ball. He moved over to the three point line and took aim at the corner of the backboard. He let the positive energy surrounding him renew his confidence. He still longed for Haley, but he was starting to see the other positive influences around him. It completely drowned out the voice of his father. He tossed the ball and watched it bounce perfectly off the backboard and into the hoop.

Nathan left shooting practice feeling light, energetic and confident. Once again, he owed it to Matthew. That little boy had a serious impact in getting Nathan credibility with one of the most respected veteran members of the team. With Dwayne on his side, Nathan would have support of the whole team. It was a great attitude to have heading into the game. He couldn't wait to tell Haley about it.

* * *

><p>"Ouch!" Haley exclaimed as she retracted her hand from the small of her back. She'd been subconsciously putting her hand on that tender spot all day. The harder she tried to leave it alone, the more she found herself touching it.<p>

"Are you okay?" Linda asked.

"Yeah, yeah. My back is just bothering me a little. I took some Advil. Just waiting for it to kick in."

Over the next few minutes, Haley zoned out as she thought about Rachel's presence at the game. Rachel must have paid top dollar to get her ticket, but it certainly wasn't for that seat. Those seats were reserved for Nathan. In fact, she figured it was a seat Nathan had probably left open for her, in the event she wanted to spend some time with Lucas, Peyton, Brooke and Julian. Rachel had probably just inserted herself into the empty seat and her friends were too polite to say anything.

Haley rationally knew it was probably best to stay put. There was no need for Rachel to set eyes on her—well, unless she _wanted_ to make Rachel jealous. No, that wasn't a wise move. Still, she had this persistent urge to get a look good at Rachel. From ten rows back, the waving red hair was driving her crazy.

"Twelve! Twelve! Twelve!"

Matthew's chant brought her attention back to the court. The members of the Lakers were starting to be announced. Haley smiled as she thought about how cute it was that Matthew, once so strictly tied to his numbers, had started calling Nathan "twelve." He had even used it for his Halloween costume. The back had the number across his back, with "Scott" printed across the top. In a way, it was like Matthew thought of Nathan and Haley as a solid unit. Then again, he usually used thirty-five to refer to them in that way…She'd have to think about that some more.

In the corridor leading out to the court, Nathan was in the middle of the lineup of players. In front of him were the bench players and he was the first of the starters. Like many of the other guys, he bounced up and down, psyching himself out to run out on the court. The music was loud, but the announcer's dynamic voice complemented it.

When he reached the top of the line, Nathan was overwhelmed by the immensity of the crowd. With the lights and sounds, along with the anticipation of the first home game of the season, the fans were frenzied. Nathan was ready to jump out of his skin.

"And now, from Tree Hill, North Carolina, Point Guard, number twelve," the announced paused as the crowd cheered wildly, "NATHAN SCOTT!"

Nathan charged out onto the court as if springs were on his feet.

At first, Haley couldn't see him because of the flashing lights. Instead she focused on the giant three-dimensional images of him blasted on the two big screens on either side of the court. She smiled and thought about how hot he looked in that uniform.

The volume of Matthew's voice reached a screeching volume as Nathan emerged in front of the bench. Although it was pretty well drowned out from the rest of the crowd, it rang out in Haley's left ear. "Twelve! Twelve! Twelve! Twelve!"

After high-fiving his teammates, Nathan took his spot on the line and cautiously looked over his shoulder. His eyes traveled up the stands, and thanks to Matthew, he easily found Haley. He lifted his eyebrows a few times and smiled brightly at her. She started blankly at him with no expression. What the hell was going on? He had to let it go, as he turned his attention back to the court and greeted the rest of his team.

A wrinkle formed across Haley's forehead as things came into place. The number Matthew was chanting, the one he used for his Halloween costume, was the same one plastered across Nathan's back now. She looked up at the television screen and just before his image disappeared, she saw it again. She looked back down below at Nathan.

"Twelve, twelve, twelve!" Matthew continued to scream.

Nathan had chosen twelve for his number. No, that couldn't be right. She recalled the press conference when he signed his contract. Although he had been in a suit and tie, he held up a Laker's jersey for the cameras. It was twenty-three. She was sure it was.

Haley continued to rack her brain for answers. She'd listened to some talk radio and had a few games on in the background, but had never given them her full attention. Then again, they didn't really use numbers on the radio. It was always, "Scott goes in for a rebound. Scott passes the ball to Jones. Scott makes the basket!"

No, wait! There was once some of the guys on talk radio said something about the number twelve. "Twelve, twelve, twelve," Haley whispered trying to jog her memory.

Just as Tony Battle slapped his hand, Nathan got a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. _Rachel_. He'd forgotten about her. Now that he thought about it, she'd been there, in between Brooke and Lucas. That had to explain Haley's reaction. She was pissed. Or shocked. Or both.

Linda elbowed Haley and laughed. "I think Matthew is rubbing off on you."

Haley feigned a smile, but it quickly became real as she remembered the story. When Nathan joined the team, there was a player with the number twelve. Immediately after, Nathan had been signed and the final cuts were made, that guy, Farhan Abdul, had been traded. The talk radio guys had fought back and forth over the trade and at one point they mention how "Scott seemed to be happy about the trade. He snatched up twelve before Adbul had a chance to book his plane ride to New York." They went onto joke about it for a few minutes, but Haley couldn't remember the jokes. She was too angry with herself. How had she missed that he snatched up the number twelve?! She caught herself reaching around to touch that spot, which felt sorer now, but stopped herself.

The number change was Nathan's gift to her and she needed to accept it for what it was. She opened up her heart and let it fill with pride and love. It wasn't hard to do. With one look at him, she knew there really wasn't any place she'd rather be.

Once all the players were out, the coach called the team into a huddle. While the other starters grabbed a last minute drink, Nathan looked back up at Haley. To his great relief, this time she was smiling and clapping. Good. He was sure he was going to pay for his antics with Rachel later, but for now, he could put that aside. Haley was giving him permission to. Nathan headed into the huddle, determined to show everyone—including all the naysayers in his life—that he was a changed man. For the _first time_ in his life, he was truly ready to play professional basketball in the N.B.A.

* * *

><p>When the halftime buzzer went off, the Lakers were up by ten, thanks to some clever teamwork. The buzz in the stadium was optimistic. The team had a better vibe than last season. Some were already talking about them going the distance—all the way to the championship.<p>

Haley was happy for Nathan and couldn't wait to see him, but the dread of dealing with Rachel was starting to affect her ability to enjoy the game. It seem like no matter what part of the court she was looking at, the red hair caught her attention. Now, there was no place else to look. The thirty minute break with no distractions was enough to drive her crazy.

Linda grabbed her purse from the floor and turned to Haley. "We're taking a bathroom break and are going to grab a snack. Do you want anything?"

"I'm going to go say hi to some of my friends," Haley said. Before she lost her courage, she headed into the aisle. Brooke noticed her and darted out into the aisle and ran up a few steps. She caught up with Haley at the midpoint.

"Haley," Brooke said as she blocked Haley's ability to move forward, "I'm not sure—"

"I know Rachel is here, Brooke." Haley tried to side-step Brooke, but she wasn't quick enough. "I just can't believe you let her sit with you!"

"What were we supposed to do?! She just showed up! Really, Haley. You don't want to do this. She's off as it is."

"I'm not scared of her," Haley said confidently. She wanted to protect Nathan any way she could. Using her psychological skills, she was sure she could snuff out Rachel's agenda. Then at the end of the game, she'd give Nathan a heads up. It was one less thing he'd have to worry about.

"But maybe you should be," Brooke said anxiously. "She's a jealous person and someone like her doesn't need to know about you and Nathan."

"That's why," Haley said successfully stepping around Brooke, "you'll introduce me as one of _your _friends from Tree Hill."

Brooke's next statement stopped Haley in her tracks. "She had a ticket, Haley,-for _that seat_."

Haley twisted around and looked at Brooke in disbelief. "You're not suggesting she got that ticket from Nathan, are you?"

"How else—"

"Brooke, from all I've heard, someone like her is not above bribing someone or pimping herself up for an upgrade. I'm actually surprised she's stuck around for half-time. It would be a good time to render her services to the college-age hack that she probably manipulated into changing her ticket."

Brooke was left speechless for a second as Haley moved ahead.

"Wait! There's no seat!"

Haley was greeted with a series of nervous looks from Lucas, Peyton and Julian. Rachel was too preoccupied with her cell phone to look up.

Brooke popped up behind Haley and looked frantically at her friends. "Look who I found. It's _our _old friend from Tree Hill. Who would have thought!" She gave Julian her sternest look. "Julian—UP! Let Haley have your seat—and go fetch us some drinks!"

"I'd be glad to, dear," Julian said mocking sweetness.

Lucas also made a move to leave. "I'll go with you."

Brooke grabbed him by the collar of his shirt. "Oh no you don't. You need to keep Haley company. Start by introducing her to Rachel."

Lucas swallowed hard and held up his hands. "Okay. Geez."

Once Julian was out of the way, Haley took his seat, leaving Brooke as the buffer in between her and Rachel. Rachel looked up as Haley approached.

Rachel was prettier than Haley imagined. She had on a ton of makeup but also had a glow about her. Her body was model-like thin, with a tiny waist and heavy chest, accentuated perfectly by her skin-tight mini black lyrca dress and high heeled shoes. The only criticism Haley could muster was that she was completely overdressed for a basketball game. It made Haley, clad in her worn jeans and Laker's shirt, very self-conscious.

Rachel reached over Brooke and held out her hand to Haley. "Haley, is it? Rachel Gatina."

Haley shook her hand, unsurprised by how cold it was. So she was calm and cool on both the inside and out. "I grew up with Lucas," she explained.

Rachel retracted her hand and looked Haley over. "That explains why Nathan never mentioned you. I'm his girlfriend."

Haley unavoidably flinched as Peyton began a fit of coughing.

Brooke looked back and forth between Haley and Rachel with wide-eyes. She eventually settled her glaze on Rachel and crossed her arms. "Funny, Nathan hasn't mentioned you lately, so I'm pretty sure you're not his girlfriend anymore."

Rachel shrugged, as if unaffected. "You know how we are-on, off, on. We've been talking lately and I'm here now. That's all that matters, right?"

"No!" Peyton said loudly. "You can't expect just to jump back into Nathan's life now!"

"I'm supporting him," Rachel said coolly. "And besides, he wants me here."

"I think you're making a big jump there, Rachel," Brooke said.

"Brooke, honey," Rachel said reaching over and putting her arm around her shoulder. "How do you think I got this ticket?"

Haley looked straight out on the court, unable to make eye contact with any of her friends. Rachel had to be lying. She had to be. Well, she was a damn good liar then because she seemed so sure of herself. When Haley recovered, she slowly looked around at her. Peyton and Brooke looked away, unable to hold her gaze. Lucas, on the other hand, gave her a pitiful look. If she was reading them correctly, it seemed like they believed Rachel. It was certain they knew Rachel better than she did. Still, Haley let her faith rest with Nathan. He would never give her those tickets.

Even as halftime ended, Haley stayed by that seat, although they were still on their feet. When Nathan came back out on the court, his facial expression told Haley all she needed to know. He stood there, just a few feet from Haley and Rachel, looking from one to the other. Instead of fury, she saw remorse.

Haley decided that was a good sign. Clearly the remorse was directed at her, whereas the fury would have been towards Rachel. It was good news. His feelings were stronger for Haley than Rachel.

The bad news was that it was clear that Nathan had indeed given that ticket to Rachel.

Haley swallowed her pride and gave a meek smile to Nathan. He seemed to accept her reassurance and turned away.

He had to have a reason. A good reason. She owed it to him to give him her trust, just as he'd trusted her with Jeff.

Except even she pointed out that Jeff and Rachel were two different circumstances. What exactly was Nathan's motive?

Haley felt a set of eyes burning into her side. She refused to look that way and instead turned towards Lucas.

"Hey! Hey!" Rachel said impatiently. "What's your name again? Haley?"

Haley turned to her right and saw that Rachel had squeezed her way past Brooke, just in time for the tip off. Everyone took their seats and now Rachel and Haley were side by side.

"So," Rachel said as she leaned over, slightly invading Haley's personal space, "did you say that you were friends with Nathan? Are you here to see him?"

"Haley is here with another family," Brooke tried to interject.

Rachel held her hand up for Brooke to stop talking. "I saw that—that—little exchange with my boyfriend and I have a right to know. Are you friends with him?"

"That's none of your business," Lucas said.

At the same time, Haley held her cool and shrugged. "I guess you could say we're friends."

Haley didn't need to look at Rachel to know her face was turning as red as her hair. She could feel the heat radiating from that direction.

"Friends, huh?" Rachel huffed. "I know what that's like. Nathan and I were fuck friends for a while."

"Rachel!" Brooke said furiously.

"What?" Rachel laughed maniacally. "If I recall a certain tape proved that you and Nathan once were—"

Brooke stood up and grabbed Rachel's arm and began to steer her towards the aisle. "That's enough! Let's go!"

Rachel tried to break away from Brooke but the people sitting behind them started to loudly complain about the obstruction of the view of the game. Rachel relented and started to follow Brooke to the aisle and up the stairs.

"Who is that chick? I deserve to know!"

Brooke stopped and unleashed her fury on Rachel, creating a small scene around her. "You don't deserve anything, you crude, selfish bitch! Now go back to that rock you've been hiding out from because those seats are only for people who care about Nathan!"

"How dare you!"

A large man in the nearest aisle seat stood up. "Ladies! We're trying to watch a game here!"

Rachel pushed past Brooke, purposely bumping her shoulder. "You'll be sorry you turned on me. Whore."

"Slut," Brooke retorted.

* * *

><p>Slightly shaken up, Haley remained in the seats with her friends for the remainder of the game. The Lakers managed to keep the lead and took home a solid win, securing a promising future for the season. There was no doubt in anyone's mind that the new changes to the roster paid off.<p>

With Rachel gone, and without the distraction of Matthew, Haley was really able to take in the second half of the game and watch her man play. Boy could he play! He could move up and down that court with such ease. It reminded her how in shape he was—he had to be. Working out truly was part of his job. Then there was the way he was able to read the other players. Nathan always seemed to be one step ahead of the ball, whether it was in the hands of his teammates or opponents. He did particularly well working with Nino and the two men dominated the game in points and assists. What Haley loved the most about watching Nathan play, was the look on his face. The focus, determination and intensity reminded her of the qualities she saw in the children she worked with that had autism. Maybe that was why Nathan connected so well with them. The difference was, of course, Nathan could turn that on and off and his social skills helped him work with others. As she thought about it, Haley had seen all of these things in Nathan—his dedication to working out, ability to read people well, selflessness in working with others, drive to succeed, but not all at the same time. Here it was different. Out on the court was Nathan Scott—at his best. It made her want to watch his games, really watch them like this, in the future. She just wasn't sure that was possible.

There were two points in the game that Haley saw hints at Nathan's bad boy behavior from his past. The first time a foul was called on him, he looked genuinely shocked, then heavily insulted. A quick pat on the back from Tony Battle seemed to calm him down. The second time a foul was called Haley saw his instinctual reaction as his body jerked towards the ref. Then she saw him stop himself, looked down at the court floorboards, and take heavy breaths. He was able to calm himself down, then returned to the game. During the next timeout, one of the coaches pulled him aside and talked to him. Nathan listened and nodded, seemingly receptive to what was being said.

In Haley's eyes, this was all an indication that Nathan had worked through his anger issues—at least on the court. It still didn't explain why Rachel was there and how Nathan would deal with his anger on such a personal level.

Brooke was still steaming about Rachel's antics. In fact, Julian was the only one able to calm her down. In their exchange, Haley could tell how well the couple complemented each other and she was happy for them.

Haley also grew a new appreciation for Brooke and felt guilty about keeping her in the dark about things with Nathan. Sure Brooke could be meddlesome, but it came from a place of genuine concern and love. In the end, Brooke was the only one of her friends able to put Rachel in her place. She was a fiercely, protective friend and Haley was lucky to have her, especially tonight.

Now gathered in front of the bathrooms and concession areas, Haley kept checking her cellphone for a message from Nathan, as her friends chatted with the Walsh's. Matthew, in his own way, was excited to see Lucas, but was ignoring Peyton. They all laughed about the time during third quarter when Matthew bolted from his parents and grabbed a ball tossed off the court in a violent foul. Luckily, the referee simply grabbed a new ball to put into play. Matthew refused to give up that ball and was still holding onto it.

"I didn't even see him leave," Linda laughed.

"At least he didn't go onto the court!" Jared said with relief.

"He would have," Linda speculated.

"Can I see your ball?" Peyton asked nicely, bending down close to Matthew.

"My ball," Matthew said, possessively hugging the ball and turning his back to her.

"Here's Nathan," Linda said, looking at her cell phone. "He wants us to meet him outside the locker room. Haley, too."

After bidding her friends goodbye, Haley and the Walsh's followed the directions Nathan had texted. About halfway there, Haley had the distinct feeling she was being followed. It was only once they were there, after being cleared to go down a long corridor from the set of security guards, she heard the raspy voice she had quickly learned to loathe, coming from behind her.

"I'm his girlfriend. See this ticket? It's a courtside seat. And look at this picture of us. And he texted me this earlier today—see it's about the ticket."

"Go ahead," the security guard relented. "But only because I recognize you from those Victoria Secret's ads. Damn Scott is a lucky guy."

Haley stiffened as she spotted the flaming redhead stopping at her side. She kept her focus on the locker room door, waiting for Nathan to step out. "You shouldn't be here," she said in a low voice.

"I knew you'd lead me here," Rachel said, with a satisfied grin. "You're the girl in the background."

It took Haley a second to realize what Rachel was referring to—she was in the background during Rachel's calls. It had to be that. It couldn't hold deeper meaning than that. Could it? "We're friends…and as Nathan's friend, I know exactly how he feels about you."

"Is that so? Then I bet you know about our little deal," Rachel taunted.

Haley bit down on her lip to keep herself from lashing out. If Nathan could control his temper, so could she.

"I'm not surprised he didn't tell you" Rachel continued. "Here's what it was. Nathan got me the tickets and I booked the hotel room. So you can wait out here for as long as you want, but just know who he's leaving with."

Haley burst into laughter, infuriating Rachel.

"Twelve, twelve, twelve!"

Haley and Rachel both looked up to see Nathan emerging from the locker room. He nearly stumbled when he saw Haley and Rachel, both cross armed, standing side by side.

"I guess we'll see," Haley said as she looked at Rachel out of the corner of her eyes.

"Game on," Rachel fired back smugly, keeping her eyes fixed on Nathan.

Nathan scooped up Matthew, who was still clutching his basketball, waved for Jared and headed back to the locker room. As the thick, concrete door slammed behind them, Rachel and Haley realized it was going to take a little bit longer for this game to play out.

* * *

><p>Preview for next chapter: "The First Cut is the Deepest" (Sheryl Crowe)<p>

AN: This chapter wasn't so great, but the next one is! Thank you for all the reviews! I can't reply to the anonymous posts, so to those of you that asked how long this story will be, I don't have an answer. Unlike my other works, I'm only posting one chapter ahead and already am shocked at how long this is! The real drama hasn't hit yet. It's coming though.

How do you think Nathan will handle Haley and Rachel? How do you think Haley should deal with Nathan? You will have those answers in the next chapter!


	42. Chapter 42

**Disclaimer #1**: Characters, minor plot points and dialogue belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and _One Tree Hill_ writers.

**Disclaimer #2**: Although my career is in the field of psychology, I have taken a lot of liberties with my story. My background is nothing like Haley's in this story. Her story only has _a little_ basis in reality. I know many people in that field who have given me inspiration for details here and there, but this situation is entirely fictional. Please don't take what you read as fact, especially when it comes to the research discussed and ethics of practicing psychology. As with all my stories, you have to use the suspension of disbelief, just as you do with our favorite tv show. The examples in this story are merely for plot purposes. If you do have questions or concerns about the psychological elements of the story, please feel free to **pm me**. I'd love to discuss! If you simply leave me an anonymous review, I can't respond and clear up any confusion, such as the point of view and plot of the story. So please, get in touch **directly**!

Chapter 42: "The First Cut is the Deepest" (Sheryl Crowe)

Inside the locker room, Nathan had Matthew take his time getting his basketball signed by his teammates. He set up the little boy on a bench with a Sharpie marker and gave him once piece of instruction. He told Matthew to make eye contact with each player that signed the ball. Without being told, Matthew also added thank you. Nathan considered the exercise a great success and couldn't wait to share it with Haley.

Actually, he could wait a little bit longer, considering both Haley and Rachel looked like they wanted to strangle him. So, he decided to give Jared and Matthew a tour of the locker room and introduced them to his coaches.

He'd anticipated that Haley would be upset, but expected it to be over at this point. He was surprised that Rachel ended up outside the locker room. Now that he thought about it, that was a welcome turn of events. It would allow things to play out perfectly and although Haley was upset, in the end, she'd understand. Once he worked things out in his mind, he grabbed his duffel bag and readied Matthew to leave. "Let's go show that ball to your mom, Buddy."

Matthew stood directly by Nathan's legs, preventing him from moving any further.

Understanding Matthew expected to be picked up, Nathan shifted his duffel bag so it was hanging over one shoulder and picked up Matthew. He was difficult to maneuver as he held onto that ball, but Nathan knew that ball wasn't going anywhere. Matthew was clutching onto that thing as if his life depended on it.

As they left the locker room and down the corridor to the waiting area, Jared leaned in and whispered to Nathan. "So what's the deal with the red head?"

"Ex," Nathan said flatly. He struggled with censoring his explanation around Matthew. "A no-good ex."

"Looks like you have your hands full. She and Haley were having a standoff out there."

"I'll set her straight," Nathan assured him.

"If they're still standing," Jared said skeptically. "I was waiting for a cat fight to break out before you rescued us."

"I'd put my money on Haley," Nathan said proudly.

As soon as they reached the top of the corridor, Linda stepped forward, camera in hand. "Wait. Let me get some pictures."

She snapped a few with her husband, then had Jared move away.

Matthew looked up at Nathan and whispered in his ear. "Thirty-five."

Nathan smiled. "I believe we have a request for a picture with thirty-five."

"Thirty-five!" Matthew confirmed.

Haley's heart picked up speed. She affixed her Laker's hat on her head, and put aside her self-conscious thoughts. Matthew wanted a picture with her—and Nathan. It was very sweet and did wonders for her mood.

Haley went over and stood next to Nathan. Matthew's eyes remained fixed on his ball as Linda took her pictures. At one point, Haley looked at Nathan and they shared a smile. Their boy, the one that inadvertently brought them together, was in heaven and they were happy to share in that experience.

"Now on three, say thirty-five," Linda ordered them. "One, two, three!"

As the flash went off, all three of them said, "thirty-five!"

With the pictures over, Haley stepped aside. Rachel quickly took the opportunity to move in her place.

"How about a picture with me? Oh, you are so cute," Rachel said making a motion to touch Matthew.

Matthew jerked away, and in a swift motion, took his basketball and threw it directly at Rachel's face—bouncing off her nose. "No X! No good!"

"Ahhh!" Rachel hunched over in pain as she clutched that area.

Nathan handed off Matthew to his mother and looked over at Haley. Haley was covering her mouth, trying to stifle her laughter. Nathan quickly went to her side and put his hand on her lower back. "Come on, Hales. Set an example."

Rachel straightened up and looked around her. Matthew had his face buried in his mother's arms while Jared retrieved the ball. Nathan and Haley had amused looks on their face as they watch her. She kept her hand over her noise to hide her flawed appearance. "What is wrong with him!"

"Nothing," Nathan said unapologetically.

"Matthew, you need to apologize," Linda said to her son.

"Actually, I think it's my fault," Nathan said. "He overheard Jared and me talking."

"Still…." Linda said.

"Nathan!" Rachel huffed. "I think my nose is broken. Get over here and help me," she gritted through her clenched teeth.

Nathan kept his hand fixed to Haley's back. "You should probably get that checked out. Jared, Linda, Matthew, thank you for coming. It meant a lot to me—and go easy on my buddy; he's my good luck charm. Come on, Hales. Let's go." He took Haley's hand and led her back down the corridor towards the locker room. Halfway down, they took a left turn down another corridor.

"Nathan," Haley said breathlessly as she struggled to keep up, "where are we going?"

"Private parking lot. You took a cab like we talked about, right?"

"Nathan, we need to talk," Haley said forcefully.

Nathan was desperate to put as much distance as possible between them and Rachel. "Let's get in the car first."

Once out in the garage, Nathan headed to the passenger seat of his Range Rover and held the door open for Haley.

"Did you plan this?" She asked as she climbed inside the car.

Nathan swung around and got into the driver's seat. "Matthew throwing the ball at Rachel? No, I wish I had," he joked.

Haley remained serious. "You know what I meant."

Nathan leaned back and sighed. "I gave her the ticket. It was the only way I was sure she'd stay away from the Halloween party."

"Did she tell you she was booking a hotel room?"

"I wasn't listening to anything she said," Nathan answered defensively. Once the words were out of his mouth, he realized Rachel had told him that and he didn't dissuade her. "She only hears what she wants to anyway."

"So she's not that crazy," Haley concluded.

Nathan shook his head vehemently. "No, she is."

Haley furiously moved on to the next pressing question. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Nathan shrugged. "It was just easier not to."

"Nathan, that's a lame excuse," Haley said, disgusted.

Nathan began to shift uneasily. "I had in my mind how I wanted this to play out. And it actually turned out better," he said with a proud smirk.

Haley took a deep breath and tried to suppress the anger forming inside of her. "And how was that?"

"I wanted to show her how far I've come without her—that I didn't need her—or want her."

"And did you think about _me_ in this brilliant plan of yours?" Haley fumed. "About how I'd feel when I saw Rachel sitting there—courtside! With our friends! Where I should have been!"

"We talked about that! We decided it would be better if you didn't sit there! You said you wanted to sit with Matthew—"

"Stop deflecting and answer my question! Did you think about how hurt I would be? Did you?"

"I figured you'd get over it," Nathan said quietly. "Especially when you saw me blow her off."

Haley nodded and swallowed. "So you did think about it….and that's why you insisted I take a cab here! So I'd have to get a ride home from you!"

Nathan immediately hit the door lock button.

"Ha!" Haley crossed her arms. "Now you're trying to trap me. Well, newsflash, Nathan. I'm not Rachel. I'm not going to storm off and cause a big scene. I'm not taking the easy way out. I'm staying right here and we're going to talk this out."

Nathan flinched hard. He hadn't expected that and honestly, this course of action, when put so bluntly by Haley, seemed scarier. "Okay."

"Okay."

Silence fell over the car as they both gathered their thoughts.

Haley knew she should be the one to start talking first, but couldn't calm her racing mind.

"I don't have any feelings for her. You get that, right?" Nathan asked cautiously.

"That's not true," Haley said quickly. "It's obviously that you do."

"No," Nathan said raising his voice. "None at all—unless you count hatred."

Haley swung her pointer finger toward Nathan. "That's where you wrong," she said smugly. "If you didn't care, you wouldn't have gone through all this trouble—but you did. The fact that you have something to prove to her shows there's something there."

"Yeah, hatred."

"That's a pretty strong feeling. You know what the opposite of love is? It's indifference."

"Don't do that!" Nathan said angrily. "Don't psychoanalyze me like I'm one of your patients!"

"Don't yell at me like that!" Haley shot back. "I didn't do anything wrong here!"

"I know," Nathan said sincerely. "It's just-" He trailed off, afraid to verbalize his thoughts, out of fear of Haley's reaction.

Haley couldn't shut off her therapeutic skills. She read Nathan's fear and shifted tactics to get him to open up. "We're going to talk this out. So, please be honest with me. I promise not to judge you."

"I'm not afraid of you judging me. You know everything about me, Hales. I've told you the worst of it. You think I'm hiding something, but I'm not."

"Then what were you going to say?"

Nathan closed his eyes as he tried to tap back into that emotional vein. "I was seventeen when we got together. I don't think….I don't think you understand what that's like," he said honestly.

Haley nodded, knowing he was right. What she had with Nathan—whatever it was—was the most serious thing she'd experienced. "I'm listening."

"And we went through a traumatic experience together—two if you count the school shooting and finding out my father shot my uncle. I can't change those facts, Hales. She was there for me—and it wasn't all bad. It was mostly bad," he admitted, "but there were good times too. You just can't turn off feelings like that from a long-term relationship. So, I guess you're right," he continued. "There's something there, but I promise you, it's not romantic feelings. It's more about my pride—proving to myself that I'm done with her."

Haley was still processing through how Nathan had coldly left her there outside the locker room. "Did you really need to be so mean to her? She was hurt. Didn't you at least owe it to her to be honest with her?"

Nathan chuckled at her naivety. "Do you know how many times I told her we were done? Do you have any idea? Rachel doesn't take no for an answer. It's not in her vocabulary. She needed to _see it_, Hales. That's the only way she was going to get the message."

"And you wanted her to see me?"

"I didn't think that part through."

"How vengeful is she?" Haley asked nervously.

"Very," Nathan said regretfully. "How much did you tell her about yourself?"

"Not much." Haley looked seriously at Nathan. "You don't have to hate her, you know—not for my sake. Maybe you should reach out to her? Make sure she's okay?"

Nathan shook his head. "Trust me here. Rachel will take that the wrong way. It's best to cut her off completely now."

Haley nodded. "If something changes….will you let me know? I need to trust you, Nathan. I don't want to walk into a situation like that unprepared. It's not fair to me."

"I won't keep anything from you." Nathan reached over and put his hand over hers. "Promise."

The touch of his hand gave her more warmth than she imagined possible. "Good."

"So now what?" Nathan asked.

"What you mean?"

"Where do we go from here?"

"Your house. I need to change before we go out."

Nathan smiled. He retracted his hand and put the car into drive. "I meant where do you and I go from here, but I guess that answers the question."

"I'm still confused and not happy about Rachel being around but I'm not going to hold onto it. This is your night—and it's time to celebrate," she said perking up.

"I didn't think you'd want to come out tonight. Don't you have to work in the morning?"

"Early, but I can't deal with a late night."

"How late?" Nathan asked. He mentally began to run things though his head. His looked over at Haley and mischievously raised his eyebrows up and down. "I know about your surprise."

Haley's eyes widened in horror. "How?"

"Lucas let it slip—"

Haley quickly relaxed. Lucas didn't know a thing about her surprise—no one did. She quickly caught on to what Nathan had mistaken for her surprise.

"—about the limo. It's at the house, right? With everyone already in it?"

"Right." Haley closed her eyes, regretting how much she'd hyped up the surprise over the past two days. "You know, that's not my surprise. Lucas and Peyton did that. They're proud of you too."

Nathan tried to read her, but she was looking out the window. "So what's your surprise? Coming out tonight?"

"No. It's…." Haley knew he was going to find out eventually, but she honestly wished there was a way to hide it. "It's not a big deal. In fact, I'm embarrassed about it. I don't even think you'll like it."

"Of course I'll like it," Nathan said warmly. "I like anything my girl gives me." He paused and sensed Haley nerves. "Besides you already gave me the best surprise tonight."

Haley swiftly turned away from the window and looked at him. "What?"

"When I saw how mad you were when we got into this car, I thought I was done. I could see how hurt you were and felt horrible. But….you listened to me and you let it go."

"Don't take that for granted," Haley said with a slight smile.

"Never," Nathan said smiling back. "This reminds me how much I love you."

"Just remember that when you see your surprise," Haley warned him.

"Speaking of surprises, what did you think of my surprise, huh? Number twelve! I can't believe you didn't figure that out!"

"Oh God," Haley groaned, putting her hand to her forehead. "I can't believe you did that!"

"You mad?"

"Not mad….Just surprised. I liked you as twenty-three!"

"But you get it, right? I'm not that guy anymore—twenty-three. I'm twelve…because of you," he said flashing her a beaming smile.

Haley looked at him in awe, totally won over by his charm. "I love all versions of you, Nathan Scott." She hoped the same was true for him, especially since she had just permanently altered herself in a regrettable way.

* * *

><p>Nathan had been in the V.I.P. room of some of the most exclusive clubs before, but not as an actual "V.I.P." As a member of the D-Fenders, he was often a tag-along to some bigshot, similar to his status on the N.B.A. In the D-League, he was almost there, but not quite. This night was different. Dwayne convinced him to go to this hotspot and assured him he'd make sure he didn't have a problem getting to that coveted room. To Nathan's surprise, that wasn't necessary. As soon as the bouncer spotted Nathan getting out of the limo, he cleared the way for him, along with entourage-Brooke, Julian, Peyton, Lucas and Haley, into the club.<p>

This was a newer club, one that opened up right around the time Nathan met Haley—and stopped going to clubs. Once inside, Nathan noticed two things. First, the dance floor was enormous and completely mobbed. There were hoards of people dancing away, with others gawking at the scantily clad dressed bar girls dancing on platforms, just out of their reach. Next, the V.I.P. room was above the dance floor, off to the side and out of the view of the public. It also had a balcony area for the V.I.P.'s to get a view of the dance floor.

With the girls desperate to get dancing, everyone agreed it was best if the guys headed upstairs to the room, while the girls hit the floor. Nathan wanted to scope things out and see exactly who was up there. He was also sensing some major anxiety coming from Haley. He wasn't sure what to make of it. It could have been some leftover tension from their argument in the car, but his instincts told him that wasn't it. He didn't think she worried about Rachel showing up at this club either. She got hit pretty hard with that ball and probably wouldn't want to be seen in public with an injured nose. Still, Haley really wanted to dance, perhaps a side-effect of the champagne flowing freely in the limo, so Nathan figured that would help her release some tension. If that didn't work, then he knew he could help her out once they were alone.

After going by the security guard at the bottom of the stairs and the one outside the entrance of the room, Nathan saw Dwayne in the far corner, standing next to the bar, grabbing a drink. After introductions were made and drinks ordered, Dwayne ushered Nathan over to the balcony area. As soon as they set foot there, the four people there left, giving them privacy. Nathan recognized the move; it was a sign of respect.

"So what did you think?" Dwayne asked. He was dressed in gray pin-striped three piece suit, something Nathan knew he was well-known for. Besides his Laker's clothes and uniform, Nathan had only seen the man in a suit. "How different is it in the big leagues?"

Nathan had been hearing ad nauseum how different things were once you went pro. Now, he finally a chance to experience it himself. As a highly competitive person, that part wasn't different. Nathan always played to the best of his ability, whether in practice, a pick-up game or the real thing. In the game, he did struggle in one area—fouls. It had been all he could do to keep his temper in check when the refs started calling them on him. "The refs are tougher. You can't get away with as much."

Dwayne laughed. "They're good—when they get the calls right. Yeah, I forgot about how lousy the other guys are. You've got to play a little cleaner and don't forget that you can use that too. With the right moves, you can make it easy for them to foul you. You know, when we need it."

"I can do that," Nathan assured him. "I just don't want anyone doing that to me."

Dwayne put his hand on Nathan's shoulder. "We'll work on it. In the meantime, don't let it get to you."

Nathan nodded. He hated how well-known he was for his temper and problems with refs. Well, he was different now. It would have been a different story if Haley hadn't come into the picture. Nathan walked over to the balcony and leaned on the railing.

It wasn't hard to find her—his savior. She had done her best to dress for the occasion, but he knew it was just another unnecessary stress. She was easily the most beautiful woman simply because of who she was. Nonetheless, Haley James fit right in on the dance floor with both her shoes and clothes.

She was wearing fuchsia sleeveless top that freely hung over her the tip of her tight black pants. Her hair hung down past her shoulders in a series of soft curls. The black strapped sandals made it easy for her to hop around. It was a far cry from when he first set eyes on her—hobbling around on those heels in the short skirt and blouse on the way to elevator at her office building. That image was forever ingrained in his mind. An amused smile crossed his lips as he envisioned Haley trying to dance with those heels on.

Dwayne moved next to him, and looked down below. "Who do you have your eye on, Scott? We can get 'em up here, you know."

"Nah, nah. I just spotted some of my friends that came with us. We're all from the same hometown." Nathan pointed down below. "The curly blonde in the black leather—that's my brother's fiancée."

"Well, get them up here!"

"They want to dance."

Dwayne turned around towards the room. "We've got a dance floor up here," he scoffed.

Nathan turned around as well. "Yeah?"

"A private room," Dwayne grinned.

Nathan's eyebrow shot up. "How private?"

Dwayne let out a deep laugh. "How private you want?!"

"If you saw me dance, you'd get what I mean," Nathan laughed.

"Well, I can't help you with that."

Nathan looked back out at the dance floor. He saw Haley leaving and heading towards the bar. "I'll go get them."

Dwayne shook his head. "No, man. We have people for that." He waved over a security guard from the room inside and turned back to Nathan. "Seriously, anytime you see something you like, all it takes is one of these guys to deliver the message. Consider it another perk of playing pro."

XXXX

* * *

><p>Haley was surprised at how the low-key the V.I.P. room was. She expected a lively, loud room with party vibe—a flashier version of the club. Instead, she found a large low-lit room, with a bar at the back, a few couches, booths, and circular tables-both high and short. There was a group of men sitting at one of the round tables, playing cards, some girls on the couches, while everyone else stood around in small groups chatting and drinking. She let Nathan introduce her, along with Brooke and Peyton, as some old friends from his hometown. She tried to play it cool, idly sipping on her fruity drink, but eventually, Brooke darted off with Julian to the dance floor, while Peyton and Lucas left to go out on the balcony. With Nathan talking basketball with a few of the guys, Haley finished off her drink and went to the bar and ordered another. She was already buzzed, and nearing her limit, but let the circumstances get the best of her. She promised herself it would be her last drink.<p>

With her glass in hand, she swung around and bumped right into Nathan. The sight of him took her breath away. He had on black pants and a light blue collared shirt that brightened the shade of his eyes. "Nathan."

"Haley," Nathan said, smiling crookedly. He eyed her as she moved the tiny red straw in her glass to her lips. "What's your poison?"

"Sex on the Beach," Haley said, with a wicked smile. She pointed the glass towards him. "Want to try?"

Nathan nodded but made no move to take the glass. After a few seconds, he leaned over and whispered in her ear. "I wasn't talking about the drink."

Out of the corner of her eye, Haley spotted a doorway leading to another room. She saw Brooke snuggled up to Julian, swaying nondiscriminately to the music. She decided to check out that room. She gave Nathan a wink and coy smile. "Neither was I."

Nathan was hot on her heels, as he followed her into the next room. It was just a smaller room, with even dimmer lights but speakers that projected the music from the club. "You can't say something like that and walk away."

"I just did," Haley called over her shoulder. She went to the back corner of the room, out of the view of the few people dancing by the front. She kept her eyes focused on her drink as she toyed with the straw with her free hand.

Nathan slowly moved towards her, his eyes narrowing in on her as if he was a hunter stalking his prey.

Haley began to slowly move her hips from side to side and cautiously looked up at him. She was grateful to have that drink to occupy her hands. Otherwise, she was sure she would let the alcohol and thickening sexual tension take control.

Nathan moved his hands to her hips and stilled her movements.

Haley gave him her best pout. "You're not going to dance with me?"

Nathan pressed his lips together and tiled his head. "I'm tempted…"

Haley smiled, then scrunched up her face. "Remember the first time we danced?"

"How could I forget?" Nathan asked, feeling nostalgic. "I was pretending I knew how to dance and you were pretending you couldn't."

"I was pretending not to have feelings for you and you were taunting me," Haley countered.

"Funny how things change."

Haley repeated the words he uttered that night that changed her world. "Dance with me."

At that moment, Nathan noticed she was wearing the sand dollar necklace he bought her on her father's birthday. He suddenly regretted not buying her more jewelry. His looked at her right hand, securely fastened around the glass. Before he could stop himself, he imagined a stunning diamond ring there. Suddenly, perhaps partially due to his alcohol consumption, Nathan started to become emotional. He found himself wishing things were simpler. He didn't want to feel guilty or disappointed by the realization that he did, in fact, want to publically show the world that he intended on spending the rest of his life with Haley James.

It was easy to blame for Rachel for this situation. When he met Haley, he carried a serious chip on his shoulder and a heavy fear of commitment of relationships. What if Rachel hadn't screwed him over so badly? Would things have been different? He was convinced he would have handled things better. He should have handled things better. Haley deserved better.

Although she could be confident at times, Nathan was convinced Haley didn't understand her impact on people. It was definitely true with her relationship with Matthew. It was easy to see how the boy adored him, but Nathan knew he was also fond of Haley. She doubted this and always stressed that she wasn't supposed to be emotionally involved with her subjects anyway.

Nathan also wholeheartedly believed she didn't understand how much she affected him. He wished, so badly, that he could help her see that she was the defining difference in his life that led him to achieve his dreams. Even simple things, like being in that V.I.P. room, he could trace back to her. After all, Dwayne had reached out to him after meeting Matthew-and his connection to Matthew was because of Haley.

He wished he could shower Haley with love and attention. He wanted to give her gifts. He wanted to move forward in their relationship. He wanted to be able to freely think about making their relationship permanent.

At one point he told her he wanted to give her the world, but could he? Would he ever be able to?

Haley felt the energy shifting. Nathan had a heavy look in his eyes with a trace of sadness. She wanted to put her arms around him and dance with him, like they did that night at the bar by her office. She turned around and set down her glass on the floor against the wall. Bent fully over, Haley froze as she felt Nathan's hands on her hips.

"Haley!"

Haley shot up and spun around. Her eyes were wide with fear. "Don't. Don't say anything," she warned him. As Nathan stared her down, his mouth slightly dropped open, she became woozy. She took a step back and propped herself against the wall and closed her eyes.

Nathan looped his hands under her arms and pulled her up against him. "Haley," he said quietly. "Open your eyes."

Haley opened her eyes and caught his infectious smile.

"You okay?" He asked gently.

Haley slowly nodded. The dizziness was gone, replaced with the security of his arms.

"Did you…." Nathan paused and allowed his smile to break out into a fully grow grin. From the look in her eyes, he already knew the answer to his question, but he still put it out there. "Did you get a tattoo?"

Haley began to uncontrollably giggle as she thought over the absurdity of her actions.

As Nathan started to giggle as well, he knew the alcohol had kicked in. "Did you?"

Haley giggle turned into real laughter. "I don't know what I was thinking."

Nathan twisted her around and lifted up her shirt. He only got a quick peek—a small blue imprint of twenty-three right at the small of her back. "That I was twenty-three!"

Haley pushed her shirt back down and turned around. "Don't do that," she whined.

Nathan put his arms around her shoulders and pulled her in for a hug. "Oh, baby. I love it."

"It's stupid," Haley complained into his chest.

Nathan pulled back and lifted her chin up. "You have no idea how sexy it is."

Haley let out a heavy breath of contentment as butterflies began forming inside her. "It is?"

"So sexy," Nathan said huskily. "You have any idea the things I want to do to you right now?"

Haley blinked hard as she was hit with a wave of heat. Nathan's body was scorching hot and surrounded her like a barrel of flames. She gently pushed him back a little, but kept her lust-filled eyes on his.

"Can I look at it again?" Nathan asked softly.

Haley shook her head. "Not here."

Nathan ran his hands down from her shoulders to the tip of her fingers. "Want to get out of here?"

Haley nodded her head and before anyone could notice, they slipped out the back door, down the stairs, out the back entrance.

* * *

><p>By the time Nathan and Haley arrived back at the beach house, they had teetered over the edge of being buzzed and fell into the drunkenness. On the ride over, they consumed the rest of the champagne in the limo, which was just enough to increase their giddiness, but not enough to make them sick. With the additional liquor, they found new hilarity in Haley's tattoo. They laughed and laughed about it until they lost their breaths. Then things took a dramatic turn as Nathan fell on top of Haley. They were in the midst of steamy makeout session when they arrived at the house.<p>

Once inside the house, Haley kicked off her shoes and immediately began stripping off her clothes, as she complained about her tattoo itching. By the time she reached the stairs, she was down to her lacy black bra and panties.

Nathan smiled brightly as he stepped over her clothes. He stood at the bottom of the stairs, and watched her walk up, keeping his eyes fixed on that small area of blue, dedicated to him. With his shirt already unbuttoned from a mini-make out session in the limo, Nathan quickly dropped his own shirt, kicked off his shoes and went to work on his pants. He then scurried up the stairs, wearing only his boxers.

Haley emerged from the bathroom, with a small tube of ointment for her tattoo, and burst into laughter when she saw Nathan. "What happened to your clothes?"

"I got horny," Nathan said unashamedly.

"You did," Haley said raising her eyebrows as she spotted his hardness peeking out from his boxers. She sauntered over to him, put one hand on his ass cheek, and gave it a firm grab just as she thrust the ointment into his hand. "Take care of me, Scott."

Haley skipped towards the bed, and flopped down on it, her back facing up.

Nathan sat down on the edge of the bed and started rubbing Haley's silky smooth legs. He moved his hands down to her feet, spent some time massaging each one of them, then worked his way back up to her ass. Now fully on the bed, he playfully caressed her ass cheeks as he looked over the tattoo. Wanting to get a closer look, he swung one leg over her body, and propped himself up on his knees. He bent down, and slowly lowered his lips to the affected area, which was a little puffy and pink.

With her head fixed firmly on the pillow, Haley smiled when she felt his cool lips on her body. When she felt stillness in the air, she knew he was looking the tattoo over. "Is it peeling?"

"A little," Nathan said as he ran his fingers over the area. He grabbed the ointment and began gingerly applying it. "When did you get this?"

"I've been thinking about it since Texas, but I didn't get it until Sunday night."

"Why didn't you get Laker's colors?"

"I planned to but the artist said purple and gold don't hold up well. He recommended another color and that's when I decided to use Raven's colors. In the end, I like it. It reminds me of Tree Hill—another connection we have."

"I wish you could come," Nathan mused aloud before catching himself. He really didn't want to make Haley feel guilty about not being able to join him when he visited her mom after his game in Charlotte. "But I know you can't. I'm sure your mom will be happy to have me all to herself anyway."

"I don't know when I'm going to get back there," Haley sighed. "I don't even think I can do Thanksgiving."

"I'm on the road then. I have some time off for Christmas though."

Haley shivered. "I can't think that far ahead."

Sensing that Haley was tensing up, Nathan pushed up and slid down her bra straps. He started massaging her neck and shoulders.

"Oh, Nathan," Haley moaned. His hands worked like magic on her stiff muscles. With every move, she felt herself sinking deeper and deeper into the bed. She closed her eyes and listened to the sounds around her. The most comforting one wasn't coming from the beach. It came from Nathan. She could hear the soft sounds of his breathing. It stirred something deep inside her. It made her feel grateful to have him there, but also regretful that he'd be gone in a few days on road trip. She reminded herself to focus on the present and not think too far ahead. Her heart rate began to pick up as she longed for a more physical and intimate connection with him.

"You want me to keep going?" Nathan asked huskily as his hands paused on the tip of her shoulder blade.

"Uh-huh," Haley whispered. "But talk to me. Tell me about playing tonight."

Nathan smiled, but held back his chuckle. He unclasped her bra and she lifted up enough for him to pull it out and toss it aside. "You want me to talk sports to you?"

"Yes," Haley said weakly. Honestly, she just wanted to hear the sound of his voice, but it would be nice to hear him talk about something he loved so much.

Nathan began to push his palms into the muscles of her back, working his way down the outside of her spinal cord. "Let me tell you how much I wanted to score tonight."

This wasn't exactly the relaxing sort of talking she envisioned, but she knew she was fighting a losing battle anyway. "Go on," she prodded him.

"It was all I had on my mind. I hate that I had to pass the ball to score. I wanted," he leaned forward and whispered into her ear, "to score all by myself."

Haley felt her throat going dry. "But you did score. Lots of times."

"Not the way I wanted to. I had to hold back." Nathan shifted back down and took his time slowly pushing Haley's panties down her legs. Once off, he threw them aside and worked his way back up her legs. He settled down again massaging her lower back. "There. What was I saying?"

Haley was now completely naked but warmed up by anticipation flowing through her veins. "That—" She cleared her throat, "That you had to hold back."

"I did….but I loved it."

"You did. I could see that. Finally," Haley sighed.

"Know what I loved more than playing?"

"What?"

"Knowing you were there watching me play."

"That's not true."

"It is. Haley, I love you more than basketball."

Those words pierced through Haley like a sharp knife. Was it true? More than basketball? Or was this the combination of lust and alcohol talking?

Haley's eyes flew open when she felt Nathan's body starting to spread over her back. It seemed to be the answer to her questions. "O-Oh," she sputtered out.

Nathan began placing kisses over her shoulders, then continued down her back. When he reached the site of the tattoo, his lower half of his body twitched. Nathan sat up, removed his boxers, and went back to kissing her body—working his way up from her feet up. When he reached her shoulders, he moved completely over her, covering her with his body. He brushed aside her hair and moved his mouth to her earlobe. "You want me, baby?"

Haley realized he was completely naked when she felt his hardness against her legs. She involuntarily clenched her legs as her desires fully kicked in. "Uh-huh."

"I want you so bad," Nathan said, grinding up against her. "So bad." He moved his hardness in between her legs and shifted up. He put his hands under her stomach and pulled it towards him, prompting her to pull up and rest her weight on her knees, granting him better access to her.

Her reaction was instantaneous.

"No," Haley said, twisting around. "Not like that."

Nathan was taken aback. Haley had never pulled away from him like that—not since the night he tried to kiss her when they shared their first dance.

Haley read his shock and sat upright, taking him with her. As they sat up, side by side, Haley felt overly exposed. She moved up to him, pushed her bare chest up against his and wrapped her arms around his neck. "I don't like it when I can't see you."

Nathan couldn't hide his confusion. "I wanted to see the tattoo." Maybe she still didn't understand what it meant to him? "It's such a turn-on. You have no idea—"

Haley shook her head and ran her hand over his cheek and let it rest on his shoulder. "I don't want to be with you like that."

"Oh," Nathan said, as he flinched. He fell back and rested his weight on his elbows. "I didn't mean to pressure you."

"You didn't."

Nathan remained unconvinced as he thought about the past few days. Haley had put some distance between them, and although it could have been because of the tattoo, it also could have been because of their wild night after the Halloween party.

Haley became desperate to distract him from the confusion running through his mind. She moved to her knees and pushed back up against him, again with her arms around his neck. She rested her forehead against his and they both closed their eyes. "I am so happy your dream came true."

"All my dreams are coming true, especially with you here."

Haley moved her lips to his cheek and gave him a kiss. "I need you to know how proud I am of you. I might not always be able to show it, but I am."

"Is that what the tattoo is about?" Nathan asked.

"You're a part of me," Haley said, her throat closing up a bit, as the gravity of those words hit her. "I can't always be at your games or give you the support you need—"

"Haley," Nathan said, shifting to his side to make eye contact with her, "I don't need you at by games to show me how you feel. And you definitely didn't need to get a tattoo to prove anything to me."

"It's also a reminder for me—how I feel right now about you. I never want to forget that."

Nathan sighed heavily. "Sometimes, I think I pressure you too much."

"Is this about what just happened?" Haley asked regretfully.

"I don't want you to do things you don't want to—that aren't _you_. I fell in love with you, Haley James, future doctor. So you need to tell me if I come on too strong or if I push you too hard."

Haley let her arms slide down his arms and rest by her side. She began fiddling with the sheets surrounding them. "That wasn't about you."

Nathan remained very still as he was hit with realization something else was going on with Haley…and if he heard her right, it didn't have anything to do with him. In fact, it looked this ran much deeper than anything he'd thought. He waited patiently for Haley to continue.

Haley soon saw that she had to explain further—if only to ensure him he had no reason to worry. "I had a bad experience once—" She stopped speaking when she saw the panic across Nathan's face. "—It wasn't that bad, really. Just embarrassing." Suddenly, out of nowhere, a sob violently made its way from her inner core, up her throat and out of her mouth.

Nathan sprung into action, enveloping her in his arms. He held her tight, sealing off his own feelings of helplessness. God, what had happened to her? How had he missed this? What kind of secrets did she have? How well did he really know her?

Haley pulled away from him and wiped away her tears. "This is so stupid. I don't know where that came from."

Nathan kept his palms fixed on her shoulders. "You can tell me anything, Hales; _anything_."

"It's not what you think. I'm getting all emotional for no reason. Damn Sex on the Beach. I clearly can't handle more than one—"

"Haley," Nathan gently prodded her.

Haley took a deep breath. This time the tears welled up slowly. She wiped at the corner of her eyes as she prepared to relieve the experience she hadn't thought about in so many years. "This guy in college….I rushed into a relationship with him and things went too fast…"

Nathan started breathing faster as his blood pressure rose. He tried to concentrate on her words, but his thoughts were clouded until Haley's stern tone broke through.

"Nathan, I just had a bad sexual experience. That's all. No one hurt me," she said clearly. "It was just…a bad, awkward night."

Nathan slowly started to regain his breath. As he began to relax, he started to squeeze her shoulders and rub her arm. "What happened?"

"This guy I was with—I guess you'd call him my boyfriend, but I never felt the way I was supposed to about him. I see that now," she said shaking her head, "but back then, I just went along with things. One night, he wanted…he wanted to be with me…"

"Like we just were," Nathan said anxiously.

"Yes," Haley confirmed. "I told him no and he respected thatm but then he broke up with me. Right there, right then." Haley felt a weight lifted on her chest. "I never told anyone that—I mean, _how_ we broke up."

"Because it bothered you?"

Haley met his eyes and found the truth in his question. "More than I realized. I was embarrassed and ashamed."

Nathan felt those feelings for her as she expressed them. It was heart-wrenching. "Why? What did he say to you?"

"He said that I was too uptight and tense for him. He wanted to be passionate and spontaneous-I translated that to mean I wasn't sexual enough. I thought wasn't good at it. I pretty much closed up after that."

"He was wrong," Nathan said looking deep into her eyes.

Once again, the tears arrived. "I know," Haley cried softly. "I see that now," she said with a small chuckle. "I think about how I was when we met. I'm sorry I was like that, Nathan. You really had your work cut out for you. You still do."

"It's not like that, Haley." Nathan reached over and thumbed her tears. "I was a mess when we met—"

Haley wiped away the rest of her tears. "Kind of like I am now." She put her hand on her back, just over her tattoo. The irony was amazing. "I can't believe it."

"What?"

"I'm twenty-three now and you're twelve."

Nathan shook his head in disbelief.

"No, it's true," Haley choked out. "I'm the patient now and you're my therapist!"

"That's not how it is."

"I'm so sorry," Haley said unflinchingly.

"For what?" Nathan asked, trying his best to keep up. She was going so fast, obviously in a whirlwind of emotion. He started to feel horrible for leading her down that path.

"For not waiting for you." Now that she'd started, Haley couldn't stop these deep, hidden feelings from boiling to the surface. "I didn't know….I didn't believe there was a person out there that could make me feel the way you do. I wish I had saved myself for you."

Nathan reached up and ran his hand through her hair. "I didn't know either. I made mistakes too, you know. The important thing is that we're here now."

"Even if I'm twenty-three and you're twelve?"

Nathan smiled. "As long as it adds up to thirty-five, we're fine."

With that comment, all the tension left Haley's body. It was amazing the effect he could have on her. "You know, I still want to do things with you," she said, eyeing his broad shoulders and bulging biceps.

"We don't have to do that," Nathan said, referring to their last position. "It's not all about sex with me, Haley. You need to tell me—"

Haley put her hand to cheek. "You mean like I just did?"

Nathan felt a twinge of relief. "Yes. Like that. You can tell me anything."

"I know that and really, it's not that I don't want to do that—"

"It's off the table," Nathan said sternly.

Haley shook her head and gave him a severe look. "It's not that I don't want to do that," she repeated, "it's that it caught me off-guard. I didn't have an emotional connection with him and what I have with you—" she put her hand on his chest, "—it's so much more than I ever imagined. Just give me a little time and in the meantime, we can keep trying new things-like we did after party."

"I think we went too far that night," Nathan admitted, thinking of his resistance to putting on a condom. "I should have listened to you."

"You did listen to me." Haley put her hands on Nathan's shoulders and pulled him down with her. "We're fine," she said, in effort to reassure herself as much as him that the emotional conversation hadn't stirred things up too much.

As he hovered over her, Nathan picked up on her hesitation. "We're fine," he repeated.

They kissed slowly as they settled into each other's bodies. Without any further discussion, they let their bodies dictate their next moves.

* * *

><p>Despite the warmth emanating from Nathan's body, Haley pulled up the blankets over her body to combat a chill that swept over her body. She closed her eyes tight and tried to go back to sleep. After a few minutes, she became frustrated. Nathan, as usual after a night of drinking, was snoring heavily. His heavy breaths tickled her ear, as it moved the strands of her hair around.<p>

On instinct, Haley's eyes suddenly flew open, and her body went rigid.

A pair of wide eyes stared at her through the glass doors.

Haley froze in terror. She was only able to move once the eyes disappeared. The flame vanished and the pitter patter of footsteps followed.

Haley jerked up and pushed her hand back fiercely grabbing for Nathan. "Nathan! Nathan!"

With no response, she twisted around and started shaking him. "Nathan! Wake up! Someone's here! Nathan!"

"Huh? Huh?" Nathan asked in pure confusion.

"It was Rachel. She's here. Nathan," Haley said, her eyes filled with fear and voice shaking," Rachel is here."

* * *

><p>Preview of next chapter: "Always Love" (Nada Surf)<p>

AN: I really worried about including the intimate scene. I almost cut it down a few times but it does have emotional relevance to the plot. Hopefully, that will be apparent later on. The next chapter will tie things up w/Rachel (for now) but will end w/a huge cliffhanger! I will try to minimize my post time between those two chapters.

Hope those of you in the states had a great holiday! Thanks for reading, reviewing….and waiting!


	43. Chapter 43

**Disclaimer #1**: Characters, minor plot points and dialogue belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and _One Tree Hill_ writers.

**Disclaimer #2**: Although my career is in the field of psychology, I have taken a lot of liberties with my story. My background is nothing like Haley's in this story. Her story only has _a little_ basis in reality. I know many people in that field who have given me inspiration for details here and there, but this situation is entirely fictional. Please don't take what you read as fact, especially when it comes to the research discussed and ethics of practicing psychology. As with all my stories, you have to use the suspension of disbelief, just as you do with our favorite tv show. The examples in this story are merely for plot purposes. If you do have questions or concerns about the psychological elements of the story, please feel free to **pm me**. I'd love to discuss! If you simply leave me an anonymous review, I can't respond and clear up any confusion, such as the point of view and plot of the story. So please, get in touch **directly**!

Chapter 43: "Always Love" (Nada Surf)

Nathan got of bed and went over to the double doors, switched on the outside lights and looked around. As far down as he could see, the stairs and beach looked empty. "Are you sure you saw something?"

"Yes!" Feeling slightly dizzy, perhaps still an effect of the alcohol, Haley started to doubt herself. "No. I mean, I don't know. Go check," she prodded him, pointing towards the door.

Nathan grabbed his boxers, put them on and headed for the door. "Stay inside."

Haley nodded. While Nathan disappeared into the darkness, Haley fished around for some clothes. Any pair of clothes wouldn't do. After a minute, she found what she was looking for—Nathan's black hoodie sweatshirt. It reminded her of their time spent in the saferoom-how Nathan had saved her life- how he would always protect her. As soon as it slipped over her body, she felt safe.

Haley looked out the glass doors, but didn't see anything. She contemplated going outside, then remembered Nathan's instructions to stay put.

Haley jumped when the doorbell started ringing. Figuring it was Nathan, now locked out, she headed downstairs. The ringing continued, along with a light tapping on the door.

Without thinking much about it, she opened up the front door. Haley took a step back and clung to her sweatshirt. It was definitely Rachel that stood before her, but she didn't resemble the well put together model from the game. Instead, with the full moon lighting her straggly hair and gaunt and hallow eyes, she looked a sickly, thin shell of a tormented girl. In addition, Rachel had no makeup on and had shed her black dress in favor of a pink sweatsuit that was several sizes too big for her body. It hung loosely over her shapeless body.

The two women engaged in a stare off for a few seconds. Rachel made the first move by taking a step forward, so Haley did the same. They stopped again and resumed the stare off.

Haley grew angry that Rachel had shown up here in the middle of the night when she knew full well she was not welcome. "Nathan gave you a little more credit. He said you were too self-involved to be a crazy stalker."

"I knew you were Nathan's latest fuck buddy," Rachel shot back with a sour expression.

"I prefer the term friend with benefits," Haley said tersely. She looked over Rachel's disheveled appearance and felt her anger fading. It was replaced with pity. Something was seriously not right with this girl.

"Well, you can leave now," Rachel said in a patronizing tone. "Nathan no longer needs you to keep the bed warm now that I'm back."

At this point, Haley's good sense had fully kicked back in. She knew better than to engage in this banter with Rachel. "What do you want, Rachel?"

"Isn't obvious? _Nathan_." Rachel looked over Haley's shoulder trying to get a glimpse inside the house.

Haley rolled her eyes, crossed her arms, and continued to block Rachel's entrance into the house.

"You think this is going to last? That you can compete with _me_?" Rachel asked furiously.

"It's not a competition," Haley said as calmly as possible.

"So, you think you can just jump into Nathan's life now that he's famous? I've been with Nathan since I was seventeen. I know him. I know all about his daddy issues. His mommy issues. His anger. Have you seen that, yet? Have you? The boy is one fucked up mess, let me tell you. He can't even-"

Haley couldn't hold back anymore. "How about Nathan's _uncle_ issues? You know about those?"

"He didn't know Keith like Lucas did," Rachel said smugly. "Those boys couldn't be more different. Don't just assume that because you know Lucas, you know Nathan."

"You're the one making assumptions." Haley looked at Rachel, long and hard until it sunk in that the uncle in question was _not Keith_.

Rachel took a step back and looked down.

"You know, if Nathan was fucked up, maybe it was because of you….You and Nathan's _other uncle_," Haley said, narrowing her eyes and struggling to keep her voice low. "But don't worry. Nathan is a strong guy and he's been able to work through all that."

"What are you? His therapist?" Rachel asked with a snide laugh.

Haley couldn't hide the fear in her eyes, so she made a move to close the door. Just before it shut, Nathan popped up behind her and slid his hand in the opening.

"I got this," Nathan said to Haley.

Haley sighed and shook her head in dismay. "I'm going back to bed. Don't be long."

Nathan watched Haley walk down the hall. When he noticed Rachel starting to make a move to come inside, he guarded the door.

"Can't I come in?" Rachel asked sweetly.

"No." Nathan pushed his way outside and shut the door behind him. He took a seat on the front steps and Rachel reluctantly joined him. "Why are you here?"

"To see you. I know what you said, but things are always different when we see each other."

"Not this time."

"Why? What's different?" Rachel asked.

Nathan remained silent, thinking things over. He still wasn't completely sober and didn't want to say the wrong thing.

"Is it her?" Rachel asked, sounding insulted.

"Everything is different. I'm not the same person."

"Neither am I. I need you, Nathan. I've….I've made some mistakes. I need you to help me—just like I've helped you."

Considering the news his mother had shared with him, he knew better. Coop had kicked her to the curb after Rachel feigned a pregnancy to try and get him to commit to her. "Why don't you have Coop help you?" He asked, baiting her.

"There is no Coop," Rachel said with tears stinging her eyes. "We're definitely over now."

"I've heard that before." Nathan softened as he saw the tears falling down Rachel's cheeks. "Look, Rachel, we're no good for each other. All we do is fight and yell. We bring out the worst in each other."

"I don't believe that," Rachel said defiantly.

Nathan knew he had to hold his ground this time. It was always at this point, when Rachel cried and began to offer seemingly heartfelt pleas,that he caved. It wasn't going to happen this time. He had to be as clear as possible, which meant giving her no hope. "But _I do_," he said clearly. "It's over, Rachel. You need to accept that."

"I can't. I won't," Rachel said obstinately. "I mean, why did you get me that ticket? You wanted me there, Nathan! You made sure I was front and center! It means you care! I know you care!"

"I needed you to see that I've moved on, Rachel. You said it yourself—there is always something different when we see each other. I needed you to see it, so you could accept it." Nathan stood up. "So now I need you to leave."

Rachel stood up. Tears began flowing down her cheeks, but her face remained locked in a grimace. "After all that, you're telling me to leave? This is what I mean to you? I'm some piece of garbage you can just throw out?"

"Don't make it like this, Rachel. I asked you to leave."

Rachel crossed her arms and pressed her lips together. "I need some money," she gritted out.

Nathan shook his head in disbelief. He ignored her request, unwilling to engage her in a conversation about money. "Don't make me call the cops."

"Ha! I'm not a crazy stalker," Rachel said wildly. "You're clearly the self-involved one." She stomped off towards her rental car. "Who needs you anyway! I can take care of myself!"

Nathan didn't have any energy to argue. He turned around, headed back into the house, locked the door behind him and went to his bedroom. He collapsed onto the bed in a heap.

Haley untangled him, squeezing herself into the inside of his arms. "Is she okay?"

"Yeah," Nathan said unconvincingly. He took a quick look at the clock. "What time do you have to get up?"

"Six. What time is it?"

"Three." Nathan gave Haley a tight squeeze. "We'll talk in the morning."

Haley knew that just wasn't possible. Her schedule was way too hectic. She also couldn't shut off her racing mind. It was filled with all sorts of psychological thoughts and assessments. "She didn't look good."

"I know," Nathan weakly agreed.

"Maybe you should help her? Help her get help?" Haley cautiously suggested.

Nathan lifted his head off the pillow. "You kidding?"

"No," Haley said softly. "I can't help it—I see someone who needs help and—"

"You want to help them," Nathan finished, understanding it was her nature. He kissed the side of her head, in appreciation for that quality. "I can't be the one to help her, Haley. You get that?"

"She might listen to you," Haley yawned. "Besides, I don't like the idea of you hating her. I'd rather it be like you and Peyton."

"Except Peyton didn't screw me over like Rachel did," Nathan huffed.

"I know, but you didn't exactly treat Peyton well, either."

The sex tape with Brooke flashed through Nathan's mind. Man, that had caused some serious problems for so many people. It nearly destroyed Peyton and Brooke's relationship, put Lucas in the middle of things, and caused Rachel to lash out at everyone—including Brooke and him. No one had been understanding about the fact that it was a drunken mistake. Instead, that tape lingered over them for years, dredged up each time someone needed ammunition.

This wasn't the case with Haley. Haley wasn't like that. She was simply being honest with pure motivations to help people heal from their wounds.

"I'm not as good as you, Hales," Nathan sighed. "I guess it's not that I can't do it, I don't want to. I'm too self-centered."

"I don't believe that," Haley said, yawning again. "Hatred breeds hatred. Try something different this time. Just try to be her friend."

"She needs to work this out herself," Nathan said trying to convince himself. He kissed the side of her head and whispered in her ear, "Go to sleep, baby."

Although Haley did fall asleep, Nathan couldn't. He began playing over all the mistakes he made in his life, wondering what would have happened if someone as kind and forgiving as Haley had come into his life earlier. He had no definitive answers. He just knew that now he had her, he couldn't let her go.

* * *

><p>Haley cringed as her office phone began ringing and she saw it was Nina. If Nina was calling, it was probably to relay another relay another request from Dr. Muller. Working with Dr. Muller turned out to be the exact opposite of Dr. Rimkus. While Dr. Rimkus basically had let her do whatever she wanted, Dr. Muller micromanaged her. He made sure they were following the all guidelines to a tea and added a few of his own. On one hand, Haley was grateful to have a supervising practitioner that cared about her work, but it also ate up a lot of her time—time she <em>didn't<em> have.

Haley picked up the phone, making a mental note not to take it out on Nina. "Hey, Nina. What's up?"

"Your mom is on line two."

"Oh," Haley said, surprised. Her mom had called and texted a few times this morning but she had assumed it wasn't anything that couldn't wait. "Thanks. I'll get it."

Haley hung up from Nina and picked up line two. "Is everything okay, Mom?"

"Boy you are tough to get a hold of!" Lydia exclaimed.

"I'm at work, Mom."

"I know, I know, but I needed an answer about the trip to Tree Hill."

Haley winced. Her mom had really been putting a lot of pressure on her to surprise Nathan on his upcoming trip to Tree Hill. "I can't make it, Mom."

"Really?" Lydia said, sighing with heavy disappointment.

Haley was frustrated with her mother for making her feel guilty. "His game is on a Thursday night. I can't do that to Matthew."

"But you could skip the game and fly in Friday and spend the weekend."

Haley looked at the three large stacks of folders sitting on her desk. It was concrete evidence of her need to stay and work. "Mom, I took two nights off to be with Nathan this week. I have it planned out so that when he's on the road, I buckle down and work."

"So you're back together? As a couple?"

"Mom!" Haley yelled in frustration. "I don't have time for this!"

"Well, in that case, let me get right to the point. I just found out—I'm not sure if Nathan even knows this—but they're going to retire his Raven's number. There's going to be a big ceremony there Friday night at the high school, followed by a charity fundraiser game. I'm sure it would mean a lot to him if you were there."

Haley fell silent as this news set in. She really wanted to be there….but it really didn't change her work demands. "I can't do it."

Lydia let another big sigh. "I really wanted to see you, Haley Bob."

"Mom…"

"Thanksgiving then?"

"Thanksgiving is on a Thursday."

"Haley, you can't expect me to believe anyone expects you to see Matthew on a family holiday?"

"I'm not sure, but I know the Walsh's wouldn't mind."

"The Walsh's are not _your family_," Lydia snipped. "Aren't you concerned about blurring those lines? You should be with your family on the holidays. You have a choice, Haley. That's not always the case, but this time you do. Choose _your family_."

Haley put her hand to her head. Her mom was always one to speak her mind, but this was just overkill. "Nathan said he has some time off around Christmas. How about I promise to come home then?"

"It'll be too late then," Lydia muttered.

Haley was barely able to discern her mother's words. "What? Why?"

"Because they're retiring Nathan's number next week! Haley, life doesn't always fit into a neat schedule of appointments. Sometimes, you need to let life just happen!"

Haley was stunned to silence at her mother's angry outburst.

"I'm sorry, baby girl," Lydia said sincerely. "I just miss you."

"I miss you too, Mom," Haley said fighting back tears. "I promise I'll be home for Christmas—and New Year's too….and maybe you can come here for Thanksgiving."

"I don't think so. I want to have dinner here—at home….with as much as my family as I can."

"Mom, Nathan's on the road for Thanksgiving and he's all alone and I'm not going to see him. I don't feel right about flying off to see you when you'll have a full house anyway. You won't even notice I'm not there."

"I'll notice," Lydia responded. "But if I had to choose, I'd rather have you fly in for the ceremony. You'd make two people very happy."

Haley couldn't give her mother false hope. "I'm sorry, Mom. I really am, but it's just not going to work out."

"Okay," Lydia said stoically. "Well, that's what I called for, so I'll let you get back to your busy schedule."

"Mom—"

"Call me later if you change your mind. Love you." With that, Lydia hung up the phone.

Haley hung up the phone and got up and walked over the windows and looked out at the beach. The guilt she felt over her inability to support Nathan was overwhelming to begin with. Now, disappointing her mother? This was enough to eat her alive.

Nathan could make her feel better. She knew he could. But should she reach out to him? Was it fair to do that when she could give him so little in return?

The office phone rang again and Haley made a mad dash to get it. She hoped it would be her mother, calling to smooth things over. Instead it was Nina, this time letting her know that Dr. Muller wanted to meet with her before her next appointment so they could discuss her notes. He also wanted her to clear her schedule after the appointment so Haley could reflect on her approach with the patient and its success.

Haley took that as a dismal sign that she had made the right decision. Although her life had changed a great deal over the past few months, her career still came first.

* * *

><p>After team practice, Nathan saw he had a few missed calls on his cellphone. They were from Owen, the bartender at the place near Haley's office. Nathan assumed he was looking for some tickets to games. Nathan was happy to oblige since he really liked the guy. After changing and gathering his belongings, Nathan called Owen back as he headed to the player's parking lot.<p>

"Hello?"

"Hey! What's up, guy?" Nathan asked.

"Uh, well, I don't know how to tell you this, Nate."

Nathan stopped. His heart skipped a beat as his mind when to the worst place. Something was wrong with Haley. "What's wrong?"

"I'm at my place and I have this girl with me—"

"Haley?" Nathan asked frantically.

"Rachel. She's got red hair and I think she's a model but she doesn't look like one right now."

"Why are you calling me?" Nathan snapped, upset that Owen got him worked up for no reason.

"Because she almost died, Nate. She OD'd—"

"Get her to a fucking hospital!" Nathan yelled.

"She's fine…For now….Look, can you just come over? I have a pretty good idea where this is headed and I know what needs to be done."

"She's not my—" Nathan paused as Haley's words came back to him. She believed he was a better person—a person who had a big heart and the capacity to forgive. She also trusted that he was strong enough not to be further victimized by Rachel. With that in mind, he owed it to Haley to prove her right. He had to be the bigger person and the man Haley thought he already was. "Where do you live?"

* * *

><p><em>She was trapped in her own body. She couldn't move. She was conscious, sort of. She was dreaming, but aware that she was dreaming. She wanted to wake up, but couldn't. <em>

_She could sense his presence. She could smell his musky deodorant. She fought hard to open her eyelids but they were too heavy. When she felt his warmth flash over her, she tried to reach up and grab it, but once again, her body wouldn't move._

_Sleep paralysis. It used to happen to her all the time, especially in her teenage years. In continued in college, but only around the time of exams or when a heavy assignment was due. Knowing what it was-a panic that swept over her body when she was in REM, and therefore paralyzed,-she relaxed. She simply needed to ride out her REM cycle and it would be over. Then, she could see him._

_Who was "he"? She was confused and tried to think back. She looked up above and saw the dark sky with the moon and stars obscured by water. She was underwater—floating along. _

_Haley suddenly remembered who she was looking for—Matthew! Instead of floating, she began moving her arms, pushing herself through the water._

"_He's not your family."_

_Haley recognized her mother's voice, but didn't bother to look up. Her arms worked faster as she realized that Matthew was missing—and she was the only one who could find him._

"_What are you looking for, Haley Bob? Your family is right here. Come be with your family."_

_Her mother didn't understand. Matthew was out there somewhere—perhaps drowning—and she was the only one who could save him._

_From up above, a black tunnel appeared. It was heading towards her with great velocity. She sprang into motion, snapping her feet back and forth to propel herself away._

"_Haley!"_

_The deep voice startled her. She stopped moving and began to sink towards the bottom of the ocean floor. Once again, she wanted to move, but couldn't. She was paralyzed. _

_It was Nathan's voice. _

_She could see him, clear as day, coming towards her. _

_It was Nathan all along._

_He was the one she was looking for. How could she forget that?_

_She relaxed again and waited for him to reach her and pull her towards the light—and to safety._

* * *

><p>Haley groggily reached over the bed and found Nathan's side empty. She sat up and saw her laptop was on the nightstand. She must have fallen asleep working—and waiting up for Nathan. He must have come home, shut off the lights and put her laptop aside. So why wasn't he in bed? Where was he?<p>

Haley fell back against the bed. Bits and pieces of the dream came back to her, but not enough to remember the storyline. Her mother's voice. Matthew. The water. Drowning. It was a nightmare. She hadn't had one since the first night Nathan shared a bed with her—at her place. She never had one at his place. She hoped this wasn't the start of a trend.

She got out of bed and saw the bedroom doors were closed. Haley put her ear to the door and heard voices below. As she headed down the stairs, she heard Nathan's hushed voice.

"Shhh….Be quiet….She's sleeping…Oh…Yeah, right there…I can see them…Wait...We don't want to get caught."

Haley quieted her movements to the best of her ability. When reached the bottom of the stairs, she found Nathan, half standing, half sitting, in front of the couch, with a game controller in his hand, looking at the tv.

"Now!" Nathan yelled. He jumped up and down, mimicking a movement of one of the men on the screen.

A blaze of colors filled the screen as two men in armor jumped out from behind buildings and opened fired on a group of men.

Haley shook her head in amusement at the sight of Nathan playing a video game. He reminded her of Michael. She walked over to him and Nathan gave her the slightest acknowledgment but kept his focus on the game. She slid in next to him and took a seat on the free spot on the couch.

"She's here now," Nathan gritted through his teeth. "No, your aunt."

Haley looked up and saw that Nathan had on earpiece. He was talking to someone? Michael! She stood up excitedly, now paying close attention to Nathan and the game.

Nathan looked to his left and his eyes went right to Haley's breasts, which were peeking out the top of her nightgown, bouncing up and down with heavy breaths. Yeah, he wasn't going to last much longer with this game. "Aunt Haley is going to take over for me," he said to Michael. He handed the controller to Haley, took off the ear piece and put it on her ear.

"I don't know how to do this!" Haley protested.

Nathan left Haley and went and got a drink from the kitchen. When he got back, Haley was setting down the controller and taking off the ear piece. Nathan laughed and took a seat next to her.

"Shut up," Haley grumbled. "You knew he wasn't going to want to play with me."

"It's time for him to get off, anyway. You sister has pretty strict rules about that and we always have a tough time getting him off."

Haley looked at the clock and saw it was only nine p.m. She realized that she must have fallen asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow. She cocked her head at Nathan. "How long have you been playing with him?"

"Since Texas," Nathan smiled. "I'm helping Viv keep an eye on him in the online gaming world. Helping him earn points too. He's saving up for something big."

"Oh yeah?" Haley asked curiously.

"Yeah." Nathan put his arm around her and they both leaned back against the couch.

Haley was about to question Nathan further when he spoke again.

"I need to talk to you about something," he said with an intense look in his eyes.

Haley became alarmed. "About Michael?"

"About Rachel," Nathan said reluctantly.

Haley's eyebrows shot up. "What did she do now?"

"She OD'd," Nathan said shaking his head in disappointment. "And so I took her to a rehab facility. It's why I was so late tonight."

"Is she okay?"

"Yeah. I took your advice." Nathan let out half of a smile and looked appreciatively at Haley. "I offered to be her friend and help her through it."

Haley nodded as she sorted through her conflicted emotions. Sure, the idea sounded great coming from a therapist. In reality, she still didn't trust Rachel. In the end, her desire to help others—and her career path—won out. _Everyone_ could be _helped_. _Everyone_ should get a _second chance_. The question was, did Rachel really want one?

"It took me a while to convince her," Nathan continued. "Owen helped."

Haley's heart rate picked up. "Owen?"

"She came into the bar in a craze. She started making a scene so he took her back to his place. She hit him up for drugs—"

"Owen?" Haley asked in shock. She knew you couldn't always pick drug addicts out of crowd, but she never imagined Owen was into that scene.

"He has some history there. I guess Rachel picked up on that, but he's clean now. So Owen didn't have anything, so Rachel went into his medicine cabinet. Luckily, Owen got to her in time. Once he knew she was okay, he figured it would be better if she voluntarily checked into a place instead of being admitted to the hospital."

"How did he know to call you?"

"She was going on and on about me."

Haley stared at Nathan as a lump formed in her throat. "What was she doing at _that bar_?" She asked quietly.

"She looked you up on the internet," Nathan said reluctantly. "Found out where you worked."

Haley closed her eyes and clasped her hands in her lap. She opened her eyes when she felt Nathan's hand on top of hers.

"You have to trust me, Haley. I'm not going to let anything happen to you."

"So is that what you're doing? Keeping your enemy—or my enemy, I guess—close?"

"Your enemy is my enemy, Haley," Nathan sighed. "I really think this is going to be good for her. It's a good program."

"I'm sure," Haley said, pursing her lips together. "I want the best for her, Nathan. I really do. It's just that she's stalking us… and drugs make you do things-"

"Not anymore."

"Does she know I treated you?"

"I don't think so." Nathan saw that answer didn't comfort Haley. "No, she doesn't. She was looking for money—drug money. I wouldn't give her any last night. I didn't really think she was serious. Her parents are loaded and her modeling gigs pay a lot, but I guess she hasn't been showing up for them. She said she was going to ask you for some cash in exchange for staying away. She was desperate, Hales. I really didn't think she'd do something like that."

"That's what happens with addiction. It can happen to anyone. It tears families apart."

"You see this with your patients?" Nathan guessed.

Haley nodded. "It's very sad." She suddenly realized how selfish she'd been. She'd never considered that it must have been difficult for Nathan to see Rachel that way. She reached over and put her hand on his knee. "How are you? Are you okay?"

"I feel bad for her. Coop really did a number on her—just like she did to me. My mother told me all about it and Rachel confirmed it. Problem is, that didn't make me feel any better."

"You have such a big heart," Haley said softly. "I'm so lucky to have you in my life."

"I'm glad to hear you say that," Nathan grinned.

Haley cocked her head. "Oh no. What does that mean?"

"It means," Nathan said slowly as he laced his fingers through Haley's, "that I had a lot of time to think on the ride back….And…I want to take the next step in our relationship."

Haley's shoulder stiffened as she twisted around to look directly at Nathan. "You mean be a couple?" She asked incredulously. "In public?"

Nathan let a short chuckle then flinched. Was she serious? She didn't think they already were a couple? "No. No. No," he said growing more forceful with each word.

"Then what?" Haley asked in puzzlement.

Nathan regained his composure. He was certain about this as ever. "I want you to move in with me."

* * *

><p>Preview for the next chapter: "Unsatisfied" (Nine Black Alps)<p>

* * *

><p>AN: I am trying really hard to speed this story up! I totally agree this story is taking too long. It is one of the disadvantages of not mapping everything out ahead of time. Things are starting to pick up, and will continue to with some built in time jumps.<p>

If you have time, I'd love to hear what you think Haley's next move should be. Did you see that coming from Nathan? Where do they go from there?

Thanks for all the reviews lately! I really appreciate them, especially at this hectic time of year.

My next post will be for the next installment of the rotating fic _Never Let Me Go_. We had a guest author jump in for the last chapter (6) so look for that under Two Bodies One Soul's account. I hope to have chapter 7 up in the next two weeks. Meanwhile, I will chip away at Arms. If it's taking too long for your liking and you need a sneak peek because of the cliffhanger, let me know.


	44. Chapter 44

**Disclaimer #1**: Characters, minor plot points and dialogue belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and _One Tree Hill_ writers.

**Disclaimer #2**: Although my career is in the field of psychology, I have taken a lot of liberties with my story. My background is nothing like Haley's in this story. Her story only has _a little_ basis in reality. I know many people in that field who have given me inspiration for details here and there, but this situation is entirely fictional. Please don't take what you read as fact, especially when it comes to the research discussed and ethics of practicing psychology. As with all my stories, you have to use the suspension of disbelief, just as you do with our favorite tv show. The examples in this story are merely for plot purposes. If you do have questions or concerns about the psychological elements of the story, please feel free to **pm me**. I'd love to discuss! If you simply leave me an anonymous review, I can't respond and clear up any confusion, such as the point of view and plot of the story. So please, get in touch **directly**!

Chapter 44: "Unsatisfied" (Nine Black Alps)

"What?" Haley asked dumbfounded.

"Move in with me," Nathan repeated. He looked deeply into her eyes and flashed her a charming smile. "Let's feel lucky to have each other—every day."

Haley was unable to hold his gaze. She looked away and had the sudden feeling that something was stuck in her throat. She began coughing. When she felt Nathan's hand on her back, she flew up and began walking around the room, still coughing.

"Are you okay?" Nathan asked as he followed her around.

She felt like she was choking. She couldn't breathe. It felt like hands were clasped around her neck. Her heart was about to jump out of her chest. It felt like she was having a heart attack. Her chest heaved up and down. She kept on hand over her heart and the other by her throat. Now gasping for air, Haley walked over to the French doors, opened them up and breathed in heavy gasps of the salty ocean breeze. She looked out trying to get a view of the ocean, but all she saw was a blur of gray.

"Are you okay?" Nathan repeated. He put his hand on her shoulder and she jerked away.

Haley stepped out onto the patio. Everything slowly came into focus. The stars sparkled. The waves gently crashed into the shore. The breeze bristled over her shoulders.

She could breathe again….but her knees began to buckle. Haley took a few steps over to the patio table. She rested her palms on the glass and took deep breaths. With each breath, she felt better—and things became clearer.

She'd just had an anxiety attack. She'd only read about them, but now that her mind could objectively process things, she was sure of it.

What had triggered it? She knew it couldn't be just Nathan's idea, which really felt like a bombshell. No, a bombshell didn't typically create an anxiety attack out of nowhere. It might have been the trigger, but this had been building up for a while.

Haley always got worked up easily. Then there were those dreams. Now, the stress was pouring in from all directions.

Well, she could handle it. She knew the techniques. In fact, she'd just used one by retreating to a calm place—the beach—and letting her mind take back control of her body. Instead of panicking, as most did their first time having an attack, she'd worked herself down. A sense of pride jolted through her. She could let her mind control her body!

"Hales…" Nathan's voice rang out from a distance.

Nathan. His idea. His bombshell. His sense of security. At this moment he was both the cause of her stress and the inspiration to be calm. She garnered all of her energy, put on a brave face and turned around to meet his worried face. She refused to add any more stress to his plate.

But his offer to move in? There was _no way_ that could happen. Surely, he understood that? "Nathan…"

Nathan pulled out a chair for her. "Sit down."

Haley took a seat and waited for him to sit down as well. "I'm fine. It was just an anxiety attack."

Nathan's pained expression showed his grave concern. "Have you ever had one before?"

"No," she admitted. "But I had a bad dream tonight. I think that was the start of it."

"And I'm sure I didn't help it," Nathan muttered. "What was the dream about?"

"I don't remember. Matthew was in it. I woke up in a panic." Haley took a deep breath as she prepared to broach the difficult subject. "Nathan, you weren't serious about me moving in?"

"Why not?" Nathan asked defensively shifting in his chair.

For the first time, Haley realized just how serious he was. "A million reasons. Really, Nathan?"

Nathan went back all the things he thought about in the car ride. "When is your lease up?"

"May, but that—"

"So you can leave the place empty until then, but in the meantime," Nathan smiled, "we can move your stuff in."

"I can't do that—"

"I'm not going to make you pay rent," Nathan scoffed, "but I know how you are, so I bet we could find someone to sublet—"

"I'm not talking about my lease," Haley said sharply. "The lease is the least of my problems."

"What else?" Nathan asked impatiently.

"I can't live with you, Nathan. It's too much of a risk—"

"You don't have to have the same address. You'll have your place until May and then…"

"Then what?" Haley snapped. "What then?"

Nathan blanched. Maybe he hadn't thought it through. "You could get a P.O. Box?"

"I can't do that, Nathan when I'm applying for my license! You need a permanent California address!"

"Is that it, Haley?" Nathan asked, raising his voice to match hers. "Is the address the only problem? Cuz if it is, we can figure something out, I know we can."

Haley shook her head in disbelief. How could he honestly not understand? Were they really on that different wavelengths? "No. Nathan, what about _your _career? Aren't you worried about a scandal? Breaking that morality clause?"

"No," Nathan said honestly. "It's not going to happen."

"How can you be so sure?"

"I just am." Nathan wrinkled his eyebrows at Haley as he leaned forward to look at her. "Have a little faith, Hales. Who's to say we can't have everything we ever wanted?"

Haley looked down as the guilt set in. They were on different wavelengths. Did she really have to break that to him? Burst his bubble?

Nathan pushed his chair closer to Haley's and tried to meet her eyes. He couldn't. She was looking too far down. "Talk to me, baby."

"It's different for me." Haley looked up and was relieved to see she had Nathan's rapt attention. He was finally ready to listen instead of argue. "You've just achieved your dream. I've got a ways to go. You said you'd be patient with me."

"I am patient…I just don't see why you can't just be here. You're here a lot anyway-"

"Maybe that should change," Haley said contemplatively. "It's probably not safe for me here when you're not here."

"Because of Rachel?"

"If she went in voluntarily to the hospital, she can sign herself out anytime."

"I really don't think she's a threat—not anymore."

"It's not just Rachel. This is about me and what I can handle. I can't handle this. Maybe we should take a step back."

Nathan gritted his teeth in frustration. This conversation was not going the way he planned. He expected some initial resistance, but nothing like this. Had he pushed her too far? "Haley, that's not what I want. Let's work this out. That's what you always say, right?"

"I need to figure what I want. What I need." Haley's heart rate picked up. "I can't have any more attacks. I need _less_ stress in my life, not _more_."

"And you think taking a step back will help with that?" Nathan asked in full disbelief.

"I don't know," Haley said miserably. She swiftly became angry that he was springing this on her. First her mother, and now him! "I can't handle _one more thing_, Nathan! Not _ONE MORE THING_! You just don't get it! My research! My hours! The grant! Trying to get Matthew into the experimental group—"

"I didn't know—"

"I know! I didn't tell you. I honestly do not have time to tell you everything, Nathan!

"But if it's about Matthew—"

"When we're together, I don't want to relive all my stress. I am under _so much_ stress," Haley said putting her hand to the middle of her forehead. "And now even my mom is on my case."

"Haley…"

"I mean it, Nathan. I can't handle one more thing. _One more thing_."

Nathan put his hand up. "I got it."

"Moving in together is high up on the stress scale. It's like twenty-five life change units—"

"What are you talking about?"

"Holmes and Rahe's list of stressful events that can lead to illness. Change in living conditions is one. I think death of a spouse is a hundred….Death of a loved one is high up too—"

"Haley, you realize that we take a step back and you stop spending time here, that will also be a change in living conditions." Nathan let out a self-satisfied smile until he saw that Haley was still upset. She was sitting across from him, silently fuming. "Look, I didn't mean to stress you out. Can't we just forget this?" Until May when her lease was up. Surely, that would be an appropriate time to revisit this conversation.

Haley couldn't believe how he was throwing her own ideas back in her face. _Let's work things out. Change in living conditions._ The truth was, deep down, she had another fear. Nathan was clearly growing emotionally. His needs in this relationship were greater than hers. He needed more than she could give him. How long could things last at this rate? "We can't just forget it."

"We can," Nathan said desperately.

Haley shook her head. "This is about more than moving in together. This is about our relationship. If I'm not enough for you, then you need to tell me."

Nathan grew quiet. In his mind, it was Haley making this all about their relationship. "Don't blow this up. I asked you to move in and you said no. That's it."

"But _why _did you ask me to move in with you? Where is this coming from?"

"I hate it when you do that!" Nathan fumed.

"What?"

"Treat me like I'm your patient! I swear you making this into something it's not."

Haley got up and walked over to the railings to get a better view of the ocean. Was he right again? Was she making this into her own issue—her fear that she wasn't enough for him?

Nathan stayed at the table for a while thinking things over. He still felt like Haley was treating him like a patient. She was, however, good at her job. In that car ride, he thought all about the reasons why moving in together could work. He thought about how much he wanted it. He hadn't bothered thinking about why.

He got up and joined Haley. "I think Rachel messed with my mind more than I thought."

Haley looked carefully at him. It was possible, but just like her anxiety attack, she felt that Rachel was simply the trigger. Nathan's feelings for her had been building up for her. His comment last night—_I love you more than basketball_—was a perfect example of that.

In her training Haley also knew that a person knew themselves better than any therapist. So even if she had these instincts about Nathan, she had to trust him when he said how he felt. "So you're insecure about us?"

"A little, I guess." Nathan kept his eyes fixed on the ocean. It was easier to talk this way. When he looked at Haley, everything got stirred up. "I don't like the idea that you have place to run to—like if I screw up."

"Were you afraid when you told me how you're going to help Rachel that I would run?"

Nathan turned to face Haley. He had to let her know this was his issue. "It's not you. I think on some level, I still can't believe that someone like you sees something in me."

Haley took a step closer to him, so they were mere inches apart. "I see lots of things in you….and I'm not going anywhere…but I need my place. I'm not ready to take that step yet…and that has nothing to do with you. Patience," she reminded him.

Nathan nodded. "I guess I forgot about the patience thing."

"I don't blame you. You achieved your dream and now I'm playing catch up. Just give me some time….but I also meant what I said…If I can't give you what you need, but there's someone else who can—emotionally or physically, you need to let me know."

Nathan let out an amused laugh. He took Haley by the shoulders. "Emotionally or physically? Really? I just need to let you know and we're good."

Haley rolled her eyes. "Not like that!"

Nathan lowered his hands so they were around her waist. He playfully pulled her so she was right up against his body. "But that's what you just said."

"I mean it!" Haley insisted. "If we need to put things on hold and pick them back up later…"

Nathan stilled his movements. "Is that what you want?" He asked seriously.

"It's not what I want," Haley said clearly.

"It's not what I want either," Nathan said in the same tone.

"But I'm also putting my job first; that's the difference," Haley pointed out. She put her hand on his chest. "So maybe you should do the same. Throw yourself into the team. Be the best point guard the N.B.A. has ever had."

With that statement, Nathan was able to see exactly how far he'd come from when they first started hooking up. They had agreed to put their careers first time and time again and here he was trying to change things. He just had to be thankful that his lapse in judgment hadn't pushed Haley away. "I can do that."

Yawning, Haley leaned forward and rested her hand against his chest.

"Why don't we go up to bed and you tell me about that dream you had?"

Haley lifted her head up. "I don't really remember it."

"Then let's just go to bed."

Nathan and Haley went inside. While Haley locked up the French doors, Nathan shut off the television and lights. They headed up the stairs together, with Haley leading the way.

"Have you ever had sleep paralysis?" Haley asked over her shoulder.

"That's a real thing?" Nathan asked skeptically.

"It is. Everyone usually experiences it at some point, but in rare cases it can be serious, like with narcolepsy."

"Huh," Nathan said thoughtfully. "I think I had that happen to me once when I fell asleep on the couch. I wanted to wake up, but couldn't. It was like being trapped in my own body," he recalled vividly.

"It happened to me tonight." At the top of the stairs, Haley stopped and waited for Nathan. As he moved towards her, the content of her dream flooded her memory. "Nathan."

Nathan stopped in front of her and smiled. "At your service."

Haley smiled back and wrapped her arms around his neck. He looked curiously at her arms. She kept her gazed fixed on him. "You are the most important person in my life. I need you to know that hasn't changed."

Nathan beamed back at her. He hadn't pushed her too far. This was another problem they could work through. "It's like I told you before—I'm a patient man. Sometimes I just need to be reminded."

"So we can keep things the way they are?"

"As long it involves continuing to have hot sex," Nathan grinned. In a flash he picked her up and began to race towards the bedroom. "Like right now!"

Haley held on to him tightly and shrieked with laughter. Maybe he was right. They could forget the conversation ever happened and go back to way things were. And she was definitely okay with the idea of continuing to have lots of hot sex!

* * *

><p>Haley carefully pulled out the steaming hot dish from her oven and set it on the stove to cool. She took off the oven mitts and then poured herself a glass of milk. She set the glass down at her place setting on the island counter and grabbed her briefcase off the chair. She riled through it and pulled out a thick stack of papers clipped together. It was the preliminary draft of her baseline study of Matthew. Still embarrassed for her mistakes the last time she was in Palo Alto, she wanted to look through it one more time before she sent it off to Jeff to proofread. The next step would be submitting it to Dr. Greene. Afterwards, the whole team would receive her work and she would receive theirs. Shortly after, they would all meet at Stanford to discuss their findings and set up the next phase of their research. Haley set the packet down next to her setting and picked up her plate. She walked over to the stove and smiled at the warm, gooey perfection before her. It was an old family recipe for baked macaroni and cheese and it looked exactly like the dish her mother used to prepare for her birthday. It included three different types of cheeses, topped off with crushed Ritz crackers. She scooped out a generous portion onto her plate and took it over to the island counter.<p>

With her report in one hand and her spoon in the other, she settled down to multitask. The first bite of food was barely in her mouth, when Haley heard the rustling of key in her door. She turned around and her eyes widened in disbelief.

Nathan let himself into Haley's apartment, shut the door behind him and then stopped and let her get a full look at him. She was checking him out and he enjoyed every second of it. He had on a white vested tuxedo with the black jacket cast over his shoulder. His tie was hanging loosely around his neck. He cast his boyish grin at Haley. "Hey, Doc."

Haley turned back around to her food before her hormones completely took over. How was it he could constantly make her feel like a teenage girl? "What are you doing here?" She asked.

Nathan moved behind her and leaned over her shoulder. "Sweeping you off your feet," he said cockily. In the midst of bring the spoon to her mouth, Haley froze in place. After a long pause, she set down her spoon and let out a heavy sign. It was then he noticed the packet by her plate. He figured she was aggravated that he was once again interrupting her work. "Uh, actually I was hoping you could help me fix my tie."

Haley slid off her chair and turned to face him. She couldn't suppress her smile as she got a closer look at him. She reached up as he leaned down and she began to work on his tie. "You know perfectly well how to do this."

"You do it better," Nathan countered.

"You just wanted me to see you looking so handsome." She finished her knot, pulled down on the middle of the tie to tighten it and looked him over again. As he leaned down to kiss her forehead, she closed her eyes and accepted the warmth and comfort from the gesture.

In a flash, Nathan moved to the island counter and used Haley's spoon to grab a bite of her macaroni and cheese.

"Hey!" Haley said tapping his shoulder.

With a mouthful of food Nathan laughed as he stepped aside. "Mmmm."

Haley laughed as she saw the smudge of orange at the corner of his lips. She grabbed her napkin and carefully wiped the spot clean from his mouth. When she was done, she clenched her fist around the napkin as she looked into his eyes. She felt herself getting lost in those blue eyes, but didn't care.

Even though Haley was in a pair of sweatpants and tank top, Nathan thought she looked incredibly sexy. The look she was giving him didn't help either. He had to either get out of that room or jump her bones. Knowing full well if he went with the latter he'd never make it to the Laker's Youth Foundation Gala, he started to slowly back away. "Hey, can I use your computer for a minute?"

Haley gave him a puzzled look. He sure was acting odd tonight. "Sure. It's in my room." The words were barely out of her mouth when he disappeared down the hall.

After a few minutes, Haley had to go and see what he was up to. As she neared her room, she heard Nathan's voice.

"How did it go?" Nathan asked.

"I need your help in the ops mission—"

"Not the game, Michael. The dance."

Haley stopped at the door to her room and smiled brightly at Nathan. He was, of course, sitting on her bed having a Skype session with her nephew. She put her finger to her lips so Nathan would know to keep quiet that she was there. She knew that Michael had a different type of bond with Nathan than her and didn't want to interrupt their conversation—and she wanted to know about this dance!

Nathan nodded and he turned his attention back to Michael.

"—and after pizza, they had all kinds of candy. I was allowed to buy whatever I wanted! I got Twizzlers, Starbursts, Snickers—"

"Michael, what about the dance? Did you dance?"

"You're not supposed to interrupt," Michael chided him. "It's rude. I would lose two points for that."

Haley couldn't hold back any longer. As she neared the bed, Nathan scooted over and she sat down next to him. "But you didn't answer his question. One of the things you do get points for is listening to the question you were asked and answering it appropri—"

"Aunt Haley! Aunt Haley! I got a webcam! You see it? I can see you! You can see me, right? It's a webcam! It attaches to the top of the monitor-" Michael's image was blurred out as his hand covered the camera. "—and then I leave it there and you can see me! I earned it! I talked to Mrs. Smith about her cats, went to my Aspie group and helped Chris with his dog and then I went to this dance—"

Haley leaned into Nathan, gave him a kiss on the side of his chin and quick appreciative look. There was no doubt he had purchased the webcam, as Vivian's budget was very tight, especially around the holidays. She then nestled her head against his body as she listened to Michael's babbling.

"-It wasn't just a dance. They had food too! First there was pizza in the café and then dancing in the gym but after the pizza was gone, they put out a candy table—"

"Michael, I'm sorry to interrupt, but I have to get going. Did you notice my tux?" Nathan asked.

Michael furrowed his brow. "Why are you wearing a tux? Are you taking Aunt Haley out on date?"

"No. I'm going to fundraiser to raise money for kids in Los Angeles —"

Michael pointed at the screen. "But Aunt Haley isn't dressed to go out—"

"I have to work," Haley explained.

"Mom says you work too much," Michael spat out. "So who is Nathan's date?"

"No date. This is a work thing for me too," Nathan jumped in. "It's a fundraiser for the Laker's Youth Foundation." He got up from the bed, but tried his best to keep in view of the laptop screen. "Before I go, tell me—did you dance at all at this dance?"

"No," Michael said looking away. "No dancing."

"Why not?" Haley asked softly.

"It wasn't with my Aspie group."

"So Michelle wasn't there?" Haley asked.

Nathan discreetly moved out the view of the screen and walked around Haley's room as she started to have her own conversation with him. Eventually he ended up at her closet, where he started looking through her clothes. He shook his head when he realized that she didn't have anything dressy enough to throw on, just in case—What was he thinking? Was that why he was there? Did he really think there was a chance she'd go with him? No, he knew better! He'd only come by so he could show her that she now Skype with her nephew if she wanted.

"—So maybe you could have a dance with your Aspie group," Haley suggested. "You could all organize it, like a project. I bet you could earn a lot of points for that."

"When would we do that?" Michael asked.

"I don't know. It depends when there's time. I know-it could be a holiday party! Maybe you could bring it up? Or talk about it with your Mom?"

Michael disappeared from the screen and Haley knew he was going to talk to his mother. She got up from the bed and walked over to Nathan was staring at the clothes in her closet. She sensed he was not happy with her selection of clothes. What did he expect? Could it be that he actually thought she throw on something last minute and go with him? No. They hadn't talked about it and both agreed, as the most hyped up Laker's event of the season, this was the exactly type of function they should avoid attending together….but Haley could read him like an open book. He wanted her to go. Well, there was no way she could go. Even if it weren't for the publicity issues, she had too much work to do.

When Haley touched the side of his arm, he jumped a little, then turned to face her. "Did Michael just leave?"

"Yeah."

"We'll have to work with him on that….and I thought the Skype thing would be good because he can see us and we can help him with facial cues."

Haley couldn't have been more touched by his thoughtfulness. It made it even harder to send him on his way—alone. She reached up and put her hands around his neck. She thumbed at his face as she spoke tenderly to him. "Nathan, listen, I want you to have a good time tonight. So it's okay if you look at another girl, even flirt a little—"

"Flirt?" Nathan asked skeptically.

"It's not too much of a stretch. Nathan Scott has always been a flirt," Haley said toying with his collar.

"So it's okay if I flirt with other girls?" Nathan tested her.

Haley didn't really like the sound of it when it came from him. "Well, you can dance with them."

Nathan put his hands on her lower back and pulled her right up against him. "You mean, like how I dance with you?"

"Nathan…As long as you're honest with me-"

"Haley? Nathan?" Vivian's voice sounded from the computer.

Nathan quickly retracted his hands. "I gotta go." He kissed her cheek and bolted towards the door.

"Nathan!" Haley called out after him. "I meant it—HAVE FUN!" She walked back over to her bed and took a sit in front of her laptop. She was met with a disapproving look from her sister. It reminded Haley of her mother's look. She figured Vivian had overheard her at least part of her conversation with Nathan. She ignored the look and went right into talking with her sister about Michael and the dance.

* * *

><p>A few hours later, Haley sent off her work to Jeff to review. She crept into bed, and settled in for some deep reading of some work Dr. Greene had sent her. She froze when she heard some noise from her apartment door. She remained still, with her keys stationed on the keyboard. When the door finally opened, she began typing again. It was Nathan. What he was doing there was unclear, but she didn't want to think about it. She kept on working, as quickly as she could, typing in comments before she lost her train of thought.<p>

It took him a few minutes to get to her room. When he did, he stood in her doorway, waiting for her to look up. After what seemed like a long while, he leaned against the door frame. A minute later, he grew even more restless and closed his eyes.

Haley could see the blur of white and black out of the corner of her eye but continued to work away. When she got to a reasonable stopping point, she looked up and burst into laughter. Nathan was a drunken, disheveled mess. His jacket was gone, tie was undone, shirt untucked and his full weight was against her door frame. He even had a liquor bottle inside a brown bag in one hand. Her annoyance went away as she realized that even though it was early, he probably wasn't going to bother her. All she had to do was get him right into bed, then she could continue with her work—as long as she could stand the snoring!

Since he seemed like he was about to keel over, Haley loudly called for his attention. "Nathan!"

Nathan jerked upright and in the process dropped his bag. He blinked hard, unsure of what happened, then saw the bag on the floor. He bent down and remained that way as his vision blurred. He blinked a few more times, then saw the bag. He grabbed at it and the top of the bag tore a little, so he used two hands to hold it.

"Oh, sit down," Haley said as she pulled the bedsheets down for him.

Nathan sat down on the bed, his back to Haley. He let his thoughts settle, then carefully reached over and put the bag on Haley's nightstand. "That was for you."

"Really? For me?" Haley teased. She could tell the bottle was half-full.

Nathan turned around and laid down on the better, over the sheets. "I m-might have used some on the cab ride over," He said, heavily slurring his words.

Haley shook her head in dismay as Nathan got comfortable against the pillow. She was annoyed that he had his shoes on her bedspread, but wasn't going to yell at him over it. She went back to her work until she heard him lightly snoring. Then, she put her laptop aside, and climbed down to the bottom of the bed.

She gently took off each of his shoes and set them down on the floor. Next, she got off the bed and walked over to his side of the bed. She leaned over him, at his midsection, and unbuckled his belt. As she slid it off, he twitched a little, but remained sleeping. Haley kept her eyes on him as she continued to undress him, all the while thinking about how sweet and boyish he looked when he slept. As she took off his pants, his legs were like deadweight. She struggled to wiggle them off his body, but eventually she gave up being gentle and yanked them off. When she turned her attention to his socks, she swore that he lifted up his right foot for her. She began watching him closely, but he was as like a statue as she removed his left sock. It was then she noticed his arousal had doubled in size.

Haley became extremely suspicious as she dropped his dirty clothes in her dirty clothes basket. When she turned around she noticed his feet had shifted a little. She walked back over to him and leaned over and looked right at his face. She moved in, real close, trying to determine if he was awake and just pretending to be asleep. Determined to find out, she hopped on the bed, and put one leg on each side of his boxers and straddled him. It was a slight movement—the arch of his left eyebrow—but it was a telltale move. He was playing her. Haley shook her head in dismay. On the inside, she knew he was probably loved her undressing him. Well, two could play this game.

Haley leaned in forward so her body was touching his and began to slowly unbutton his shirt. Her eyes narrowed in on his lips, which she saw ever so slightly curling up into a smirk. She wanted to smack him and kiss him at the same time.

Once all the buttons were undone, one at a time, she pulled the shirt off of off his arms. Once again, he let her do all the work. She left the shirt underneath him and very slowly pushed his undershirt up over his abs. He was scorching hot and Haley knew he probably wanted to get that shirt off. She figured she would tease him for now. She gently raked her nails over his chiseled muscles and smiled in satisfaction as his smirk shifted to a contented smile.

Nathan was in heaven. He definitely made the right decision cutting out of the fundraiser early. A couple of minutes after dinner wrapped and dancing started, he realized it was no fun to attend an event like that as a single person. Well, if he was really single, then maybe he could have loosened up and had a good time. Instead, he found himself bored and distracted as he thought about Haley. He quickly grew tired of thinking of her, especially when she was so close by. In his estimation, he made his appearance at the fundraiser and that was good enough. Now, here he was being taken care of by Haley. There was no better feeling; a total win-win.

Nathan noticeably flinched when Haley's warm fingers suddenly left his body and was replaced with his undershirt over his stomach. A quick peek from his eyelids told him that Haley knew he was awake—and playing a game. She was on her side of the bed, perched up on a pillow, admiring her nails. As much as he loved Haley's nurturing side, he enjoyed her playful side even more. He waited a few seconds, then pounced on her, catching her completely off-guard.

At the last second, Haley tried to brace herself but that made things even worse. She lifted her arms up and squealed, leaving her sides wide-open for Nathan to grab at. He unmercifully tickled her until she couldn't breathe.

Nathan let up long enough to grab the liquor bottle from the nightstand. He took it out of the bag and set the cap down. He moved back over to her, but this time she had her knees bunched up to her chest and reached out her arm to stop him. He dangerously held out the open container towards her. "Haley," he taunted her. "Come on, baby. I got this for you."

Haley tried her best to keep him at bay as he maneuvered his way towards her. "You're going to spill it all over my sheets!"

"Not if you play nice."

Haley reluctantly dropped her knees and held out her hand. "Fine. Give it to me."

"Un-uh," Nathan said, clutching the bottle. "I want to pour it for you."

Haley knew better than to argue with him when he was inebriated. She secretly also longed to have him closer to her. Sure he was drunk, but that also meant he was frisky, which in turn made her frisky. "Just one sip," she said holding up her finger.

Nathan inched towards her and spread out over her body. He moved the bottle to her lips and lifted it up.

Haley opened her lips and Nathan tilted the bottle so the Peach Schnapps poured into her mouth. It started out slowly, but once Nathan tipped the bottle further, she gagged and spit it out.

Nathan was jerked back and the liquor splashed down the side of Haley's neck.

Haley coughed a few times but quickly recovered. "Nath—"

Her attempt to complain was cut off as Nathan swooped in and began licking up the trail of liquor running down her neck, onto her shoulder and collarbone. At first, Nathan was just trying to dry her, but then he sensed she was enjoying his movements. He turned his movements into a series of slow tongue swirls and soft kisses. He went back and forth between her collarbone, shoulder blade and up the side of her neck.

Haley let her head fall back against the pillow and arched her body towards his. "Ohhhh," she moaned.

With the bottle still in his right hand, Nathan purposely loosened his grip and let a little splash onto the other side of her body, right by her shoulder blade. This time the angle caused it to trickle down the side of her arm.

Nathan switched the bottle to his other hand and moved over to her other side. He lifted her arm up and lapped up the liquor. Even once it was gone, he kept going, moving up to taste the other side of her neck. He pushed down the strap of her tank top and freed up his more access to her skin. His lips tried to cover as much as it could. He eventually worked his way down to her breast. He pushed her tank top down as far as he could and held it down with his fingers. He then let his mouth explore her breasts, but eventually settled in on her nipple, hoping it was a turn-on for her. When Haley squirmed, he knew his instincts were right.

Haley welcomed this turn of events. She knew how Nathan was after drinking and she loved how she could benefit from it—especially in the bedroom. With alcohol, he lost his inhibitions and instead of thinking his way through their intimate moments, he let his instincts guide him. It was more sensual than anything else. Right now she was like putty in his hands, and fully willing to give up control to his artistry.

After a little while, Nathan popped up his head up. The tank top inched backup but Nathan's hand immediately covered it. He gently groped her breast as he shifted his body up.

Haley made a move to grab the bottle out of his other hand and put it on the nightstand. He smiled back at her and she knew he'd forgotten all about it. With both hands now free, he sat up and pulled his shirt up over his head and tossed it aside. Next, he reached for her tank top. Haley lifted her arms up and let him lift it over her head. She snuggled back down on the bed and held out her arms for Nathan.

Nathan responded to the magnetic pull of her body. He moved down on top of her and began ferociously kissing her as both his hands grabbed at her breasts.

Haley tried not to laugh at his wet, sloppy drunken kisses that were only apparent because she was sober. His lust and need for her drove her wild with anticipation, especially when she felt his hardness poking through his boxers.

Nathan moved one hand from her breast to under the small of her back and to the site of her tattoo. "You're so sexy."

In response, Haley bucked her hips toward him and kissed him passionately. A minute later, Nathan finished the work Haley started earlier and removed his boxers, then stripped her down. Now on his knees, he looked her over and grew more excited. She was as inviting as could be, with her legs and arms spread wide open for him.

This is exactly what he needed. It wasn't the sex. It was how freely Haley gave herself to him. It was the first time he experienced that with anyone. The trust. The acceptance. The security.

Basketball didn't satisfy him anymore. It wasn't enough. Before he didn't know what he was missing, but now that found Haley, there was no going back.

Haley was the total package for him. She gave him everything he needed.

Right now, he was happy to enjoy all those things…the trust, acceptance and security…by making love to her so they could both feel the physical satisfaction of their beautiful relationship.

* * *

><p>At nearly two a.m., Haley decided it was time to wrap up her work. Overall, the night had worked out well-better than she expected. Sure she let Nathan distract her, but as usual it was a needed distraction that ended up working in her advantage. It lasted longer than she anticipated. Nathan had some primal needs to satisfy before letting go. In the end to help him along, Haley held onto him tightly, securing her arms around his shoulders, even letting her nails seep into his back. It was her way of communicating that she was ready. It did the trick.<p>

Immediately after they were both physically satisfied, Nathan fell asleep for real, and Haley was motivated to return to work. She scooped up her laptop, and with the soothing sounds of a snoring Nathan by her side, she got to work. She ended up typing up a fair portion of her data analysis as ideas fired around in her head. Later, she would have to fact-check, but for now, she was excited that the ideas were coming so fast and freely. She knew Nathan was to thank for her bout of inspiration. He just had this way of helping her, simply by being there. She looked over at him, and was filled with immense gratitude and appreciation for him—and that he had been able to let go her of her refusal to move in with her. The only thing that bothered her was that he left that fundraiser early. Not that she wanted him to flirt with girls, but she really wanted him to be able to have a good time without her. It was only fair. It also took the pressure off of her and helped to ease her guilt.

Haley looked over at him and smiled. He was lying flat on his back, arms tucked in beside him, with his mouth slightly opened. She reached over and squeezed his shoulder. Within a second, Nathan flopped over and nestled his face by her elbow. As quietly as she could, she shut down her computer and set it aside. She then moved back over and shifted under the covers and snuggled up next to Nathan. He moved his head over to her chest and she rested her chin on the top of his head as she fingered his hair, which was finally long to run through her fingers. Once his breathing even out, she kissed his head and whispered, "I love you."

"I'm going to see my father," Nathan mumbled into her chest.

"Are you talking in your sleep, babe? Watching too much _Star Wars_?" Haley asked with a chuckle.

Nathan was conscious enough to know that he shouldn't be telling her this. For days, he thought it over and decided against it. Yet, in that moment, he _had_ to tell her. He couldn't explain in. He just had to. He turned his head so she could hear him speaking, but kept his eyes closed. "When I go to Tree Hill. I'm going to see him."

At first Haley was speechless. She stopped stroking his hair as she thought about it. He was dreaming. No, people didn't talk in their sleep when they were in REM and dreaming….and he just moved. She'd felt it. So he had to be at least semi-conscious. "Nathan?" She tested him. "What are you talking about?"

"I think I'm ready to see him—Dan," Nathan clarified. It was easier to talk about his father using his first name. "I'm going to do it. I made up my mind."

"Dan?" Haley said as she let it sunk in. He had been keeping this from her? Honestly, she had no indication that he was even thinking of this. She couldn't even remember the last time Dan had come up in conversation.

But it made sense. Of course he had to of been thinking about his father lately—when he finally become a professional member of the N.B.A. She should have known better. He had probably been feeling insecure. It explained his sudden desire to have her move in. He was looking to her to fulfill his needs. Yet, he'd kept it all to himself. Why?

Because he didn't want to burden her with it. How many times had she stressed how busy she was to him? Told him she was overwhelmed. That she couldn't handle "one more thing."

This was different. Didn't he see that? She wanted to be there for him as he went through something like this. Hell, this is what they talked about in therapy—her profession! If she thought about it from that point of view—a professional one—this was an enormous accomplishment—Nathan facing his father. Of course she had to help him through this.

"Do you want me to go with you?" Haley asked.

Nathan shook his head, then turned around, opened his eyes and looked at her. "No," he said forcefully. "I don't need you and I have to do this on my own."

"But it would be nice to have someone to go with you—"

"You're not going—"

"My mom, even—"

Nathan rolled back on his side and propped himself up so he was more eye level with her. "No. I don't want any of you around that part of me. This is between me and him."

Haley slightly nodded. Truthfully, she was a little relieved. She wasn't even sure how she'd be able to make a trip to Tree Hill right now anyway.

"I'm ready, right?" Nathan asked with wide eyes.

Haley swallowed hard. The relief vanished. She looked into his eyes and saw a scared little boy trying to put on a brave face. For her benefit? That killed her. Well, she put on her own brave face and gave him a confident smile as she put her hand to his cheek. "Yes. You're ready."

"I don't even know what I'm going to say," Nathan's voice cracked. "I just know it's time. I need to go, Hales. I need to."

Haley switched right into therapist mode. "Let me help you. We can work through it. You can write it all down, just to get it out." It was a common therapeutic practice that served many purposes. Sometimes the patient used what they wrote, especially in cases where they didn't want to leave anything out when a conversation got overly emotional. Other times, it helped to channel through their emotions so the conversation was more rational. Once it was there in writing, sometimes a patient decided against using it since it more venting than purposeful words.

"Okay," Nathan said weakly. "In the morning." He settled back down in Haley's arms, closed his eyes tight and let her soothing movements lull him back to sleep.

* * *

><p>It was cool for November in North Carolina and Nathan was grateful for the jacket Haley had bought for him. It was black leather one, with double yellow stripes lining the bottom, sleeves and collar. She'd given it to him right before he left and he understood her intent. It was like a shield that gave him Haley's warmth.<p>

It made him feel more at ease since he'd be visiting his father in the outside area. He learned that when Haley showed him the website for the prison. She told him it would help to visualize it ahead of time and so they took a virtual tour of the prison grounds. They also learned that during the month of November, all visits on the weekends were held outside during family visiting time.

The security guard pointed over to a row of picnic tables. Some were occupied by men in orange jumpsuits on one side and family members on the other. Each table had at least three occupants. He was the only one here alone to visit an inmate.

Nathan sat down at an empty table and waited for his father to come out. He looked around the open area, surrounded by the prison facility on three sides and a fifteen foot chain-link fence on the fourth side. The basketball court in the corner caught his eye. He wondered if his father spent time playing there. If he did, how did that go? Did Dan retain his cocky attitude and tendency to trash talk with his inmates? Or did doing hard time change his approach?

Suddenly, his father appeared before him. Dan had long hair going just past his chin and a scruff all over his face. His build had also changed. Any extra weight his father had put on had been transformed into muscle. Yes, in all accounts, Dan Scott looked like a hardened, convicted felon.

"It's been a long time," Dan said with his hands on his hips. After looking over his son, he sat down on the opposite side of the bench.

"Over six years," Nathan said through his gritted teeth.

"Six years. Fifteen weeks. Two days." Dan looked around the prison yard, nodding at a few of the other inmates. "Counting days is kind of a popular hobby around here; that and ceramics," he said dryly.

Nathan didn't laugh. He stared blankly at this man—his father, as if search to see if there was a soul deep down somewhere inside of him.

Dan slouched down a little and looked down at his hands, as if softening. "I know it wasn't easy for you to come here. It means a lot to me."

Nathan felt a fire starting to burn inside of him. It rose up from the tips of his toes and words fiercely flew out of his mouth. "I didn't come here for you."

This time, it was Dan who sat in silence.

"You know as long as I can remember, you taught me that basketball was the most important thing in the world," Nathan said, as the words he prepared so carefully in his mind started to come back to him.

Dan straightened up. "I was only trying to give you the tools you need to succeed," he said defensively.

"Yeah, and those tools nearly _prevented_ me from succeeding," Nathan quickly retorted. "Don't ever back down. Second place is a first loser," he mocked his father. "Do you remember that?"

"Don't expect me to apologize for teaching you to play a game that you love—that you chose."

"Don't talk to me about love, Dad. Like you know anything about that."

"What's this about, Nathan? Why are you here?" Dan asked angrily.

"Because I've found someone who loves me….and now I understand what that means. It makes me wonder if you ever loved me. If you ever loved Mom. If you ever loved anyone besides yourself."

"Don't let some girl cloud your judgment, Nate. You're better than that!—"

"No, Dad, I'm not!" Nathan yelled. He stood up and slammed his palms down on the picnic table and leaned in towards his father. "This is me. _I'm not you._ I can love more than one thing. I don't have to choose like you did! In fact you didn't have to choose and that's what's been eating you up all these years!"

Dan stood up and yelled back. "Who's been feeding you all this? Your mother?"

"No!"

"I know it's not Karen," Dan mumbled. "She won't—"

Nathan pointed squarely at his father, with his eyes lit with fury. "Don't you dare say anything about her. You've done enough damage."

Dan held Nathan's gaze, and just like he had done so many times in Nathan's childhood, tried to intimidate his son. "Well, who then? Some shrink? I know the about the deal you had to cut to get into tryouts."

Nathan shook his head in disgust. His father had still tried to control him from prison, by keeping tabs on his every move.

"It's her, isn't?" Dan asked confidently.

"Who?" Nathan asked confused.

"Her. The girl who has shown you the light," Dan said sarcastically. "The girl who loves you."

Nathan turned to leave. "I didn't come here for this."

"Then why are you here, son? Huh? You still haven't told me!" Dan said, his voice growing increasingly louder as Nathan started to walk away.

Nathan turned back around and took a step back towards his father. He summoned up every ounce of courage he had because he did not want to leave his father in anger. He thought back to all the things he'd written down and rehearsed in his head. There were a few lines that stood one. The most important ones. The ones he needed to say to satisfy his own needs. He took a deep breath, and calmly looked his father in the eye. "I'm letting go of the anger and letting go of you. I just had to look you in the eye when I did it. I won't be back."

Nathan turned his back on his father and walked briskly over to the security exit. It was a few minutes later, when he reached the parking lot that the numbness wore off. His mind started racing as he blindly walked towards his rental car.

When he was a few feet away, he stopped dead in his tracks. His rapidly beating hard started to slow down. Was his mind playing tricks on him?

He took a few steps forward and as Haley's touch and scent enveloped him, he knew it was real. She was there.

He hugged her back as tightly as he could. He was overcome with emotion all at once. His voice cracked as he spoke. "When I told you I didn't need you here-_I lied_."

Haley squeezed him even tighter. "I know." All along she knew. "I'm here, Nathan."

* * *

><p>Preview for next chapter: "Run" (Matt Nathanson featuring Sugarland)<p>

AN: There are no words to that can offer up a successful apology for taking so long to post for this story. The only thing I can tell you is that it simply wasn't possible for me to post any earlier. This was the best I could do. I promise I will continue posting to the best of my ability! I have lots of motivation and ideas, just in need of more time, less stress, better health and ability to use a computer. Thanks for your incredible patience!

I know some of you may be disappointed Haley wouldn't move in with Nathan. I tried to have that match the characterization I've been building. She's not ready. He is—she isn't. Now they are both in Tree Hill and during this trip a major plot development occurs that will drive the rest of the story. Stay tuned!


	45. Chapter 45

**Disclaimer #1**: Characters, minor plot points and dialogue belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and _One Tree Hill_ writers.

**Disclaimer #2**: Although my career is in the field of psychology, I have taken a lot of liberties with my story. My background is nothing like Haley's in this story. Her story only has _a little_ basis in reality. I know many people in that field who have given me inspiration for details here and there, but this situation is entirely fictional. Please don't take what you read as fact, especially when it comes to the research discussed and ethics of practicing psychology. As with all my stories, you have to use the suspension of disbelief, just as you do with our favorite tv show. The examples in this story are merely for plot purposes. If you do have questions or concerns about the psychological elements of the story, please feel free to **pm me**. I'd love to discuss! If you simply leave me an anonymous review, I can't respond and clear up any confusion, such as the point of view and plot of the story. So please, get in touch **directly**!

Chapter 45: "Run" (Matt Nathanson featuring Sugarland)

Haley didn't let on how much stress was waiting for her once she was back in L.A. She figured there wasn't much she could do about it now anyway. What was done was done.

She had decided to hop on a red eye flight Thursday night so she could spend Friday, Saturday and Sunday morning in Tree Hill. She arranged for her brother to pick her up at the airport and drive her directly to the prison. With his help, she located Nathan's rental car, and patiently waited for him.

When she saw him leaving the security gates, she knew she made the right decision. It was a decision that she made as soon as the words left his mouth—"_I'm going to see my father. I'm going to do it. I made up my mind_." Those words played over and over in her mind, until she realized that in fact, her mind was made up.

As he walked towards her, he had on his leather jacket, his hands were stuffed in his pocket and his head was cast down. He looked defeated.

It all changed when they locked eyes. After their emotional reunion, Haley came to the conclusion that he'd kept all his emotions locked up for a while and it was finally caught up with him. Once again, it reaffirmed this was her chance to do better in their relationship. She was putting everything aside for the next few days and making it _all about Nathan_. She was going to attend the ceremony at high school and not care who saw her. Yes, she was not going to hide her feelings for him while in Tree Hill. She wanted this weekend to be special as their first time together in their hometown—and perhaps a place they settled down in….in a very long time, of course.

During the car ride back to Tree Hill, Nathan caught Haley up on his conversation with his father. She helped him see that in the end, he said the things he needed to say. There wasn't anything his father could say or do to make him feel better anyway. The key part now was really letting go.

Haley was happy to hear that Nathan also hit it off with Quinn and Paul. They had texted her all night, impressed with their seats and with Nathan's performance in the game. Afterwards, Nathan treated them to dinner at a five-star restaurant that Haley knew her mother would brag about for years to come. She was sure, knowing her two siblings, they had shared many jokes at her expense, but she didn't mind.

When they arrived at her house, it was the exactly the type of family home Nathan envisioned for Haley's family. It was a gray two story home, with a porch that ran along the front. Bushes and flowers lined the front of the house and the walkway leading up to the red door on the side.

"Yeah, this is my house. We're staying here while we renovate the mansion," Haley deadpanned.

"Mansions aren't all they're cracked up to be, Hales," Nathan said earnestly.

"Well, we only have four bedrooms and two bathrooms. Not ideal for a family of eight." Ironically enough, the house had just cleared out about the time she moved to Texas. She finally had her own bedroom and barely got to enjoy it. Now that she thought about it, the house went from very full and crowded to empty in such a short time. It must have been a tough adjustment for her parents. Then again, not having to care for Taylor was probably a God-send.

They got out of the car, and each grabbed their overnight bags.

"Just so you know, my mom isn't happy with me," Haley warned him.

"I bet she'll be happy to see you."

"Sure, but I wonder how long it will be before she starts grill us."

"She didn't do that to me."

"Because she was going to wait and get you alone. Look, Nathan, I know my mother. Paul also filled me in. It seems Vivian overheard me telling you to that fundraiser and flirt with girls when you set up that Skype session with Michael."

"You were just joking!"

"No, I wasn't," Haley said sternly but realized she was getting off track, "but it doesn't matter. My mom got upset about it and she was already pissed at me about staying in L.A. for Thanksgiving."

"She's going to be happy to see you," Nathan assured her.

"She'll be happy to see _us_—together." Haley led them to the red door. She took a deep breath and opened it.

Her mother was curled up the couch with a blanket over her sleeping soundly. Haley checked the time and saw it was just about one p.m.. She set down her bag and quietly walked over to her mother.

Nathan put down his bag and shut the door. Lydia didn't stir at all.

Haley leaned down over her mother, then looked back at Nathan, unsure what to do. He shrugged his shoulders and started to look around the room.

Haley turned her attention back to her mother and decided to wake her. "Mom. Mom."

Lydia's eyes squinted open and she quickly started to sit up.

Haley read the confusion in her mother's eyes. "It's me, Mom."

Lydia forcefully grabbed Haley and pulled her into her arms. "Haley! Haley Bob! My baby."

It didn't take long for Haley to get uncomfortable. She was hunched over and her mother was squeezing her very hard. "Uh, Ma…"

Lydia let Haley go and wiped away the tears from her eyes.

Haley was surprised that her mother was crying—and embarrassed for her earlier comments to Nathan.

Lydia got up and with tears still stabbing at her eyes. She walked towards Nathan with open arms. "Nathan, you brought my baby home!"

Haley watched as her mother and Nathan shared a warm embrace. She thought about her mother's words—_Nathan had brought her home_. She wondered if there was resentment in those words. However, as she watched them, she saw nothing but gratitude and love in the exchange. Again, Haley felt embarrassed, this time for even think along those lines.

"Okay," Lydia said breathlessly as she pulled away from Nathan. She kept her hand on his arm and squeezed it tight. "Let's get you settled and then we'll give you a tour. Wow, I can't believe I slept that long! Are Quinn and Paul back? No, I guess not; they would have woken me. They are staying in their old rooms. So Haley's here," she sighed looking at Haley. "Well this changes things. I was going to put you in her room, but no problem! We can manage." Lydia looked around the room, up at the stairs, then back at Nathan. "Nathan, you can set up in the den. It's right down there," she pointed towards the hallway across from them. "I'll be in in a few minutes with some sheets."

"Mom!" Haley said angrily, as her face flushed red.

"It has a pull-out couch, dear," Lydia said.

"That's not what I'm talking about," Haley gritted through her teeth.

Nathan quietly picked up his bag and slowly backed out of the room. The den was just the room behind the living room and with the raised voices, he still hear the argument between Haley and her mother.

"I'm not a prude, Haley! I have one rule. You know that rule. You promised me, back when you moved out to Texas—"

"The boyfriend rule? Really, Mom? You're pulling that out on me? I was sixteen, Mom. Back when I was sixteen I promised not to be a slut. Now I can do whatever the hell I want!"

"Not in this house, you can't," Lydia shouted back. "In this house, as long as you and Nathan aren't in a committed relationship, there is no need to sleep in the same room."

Nathan couldn't stay in the den any longer. He began to slowly make his way down the hall. Lydia could see him coming, but Haley's back was to him. Both ladies were rigid and locked in their positions.

"You know how complicated things are with my job," Haley said.

"And your job is your priority," Lydia said, mockingly. "Give it a rest. You two are clearly can't stay away from each other, so there is no reason not be committed."

"It's just for now."

Nathan stood behind Haley. He figured she could feel his presence but didn't budge at all. Instead, it was Lydia who made eye contact with him.

Lydia looked from Nathan back to Haley. "So it's okay if Nathan sees other women? You're really okay with that?"

Haley dug in her heels. "Sure," she glowered. "He can do whatever he wants—but you know that. Vivian's big mouth took care of that."

"Good," Lydia said smugly. "I'm sure there will be many girls that will be all over Nathan tonight. In fact, why don't I set up a date for him? Wouldn't that be nice? To have someone there to support him in such a nice event?"

Nathan put his hands on Haley's shoulders in a show of support for her. As he suspected she was extremely tense. "Mrs. James, I don't need a date for the event, but Haley is coming out to dinner with my mom and me. You're welcome to come too."

Haley looked up at Nathan and gave him an anxious look. "This is the first time I'm meeting your mom."

"Thanks for the offer Nathan, but Paul and Quinn are taking me out." Lydia looked back at Haley. "So then, what? You two are going to pretend you don't know each other at the ceremony?"

"No-" Nathan began.

"The press is going to be there," Haley said.

"The Tree Hill press," Lydia scoffed. "This is _Tree Hill_, Haley Bob. Not Hollywood. The place both of you were born. Don't you see how happy people would be to see you together? How supportive?"

"It takes _one_ person…" Haley said shaking her head.

"Not here. No one from here would hurt you," Lydia disagreed. "This is the place you can be yourself. There is only one Tree Hill—and it's your home. Don't ever forget that."

Just as that was starting to sink in with Nathan, Haley shot back. "It's not about that."

Nathan figured it was time to step in before the ladies began another round. "Mrs. James, I'm not seeing anyone if that's what you're worried about—and I don't want to either. There's just Haley."

"But you're not in a committed relationship?" Lydia questioned him.

Nathan took a second to respond. He moved his hands from Haley's shoulders, down to her waist. "I'm as committed as Haley will let me be."

Haley immediately jerked away from his touch.

"That's exactly what I thought," Lydia huffed out. "I'm going to get you some sheets." She stormed off up the stairs, leaving Nathan speechless.

Haley turned around and threw her hands up at Nathan. "Thanks a lot!"

"What?" Nathan asked defensively.

"For blaming this all on me! That is exactly what she wanted to hear," Haley said pointing up the stairs.

"I was trying to help! I didn't know what to say!"

Haley read the sincerity and regret in his eyes. "I know," she sighed. "This is between my mom and me. I'm sorry you got caught in the middle." She put one hand behind his head and pulled him toward her. She gave him a kiss on the cheek, then pulled back. "You are not sleeping in the den, though. That is ridiculous."

Nathan twitched and then winced.

"Nathan!"

"It's your mom's house, Hales. I can't…" Nathan struggled to find a compromise. He quickly found one and put his hands on Haley's lower back and pulled her right up against him. He looked at her with lusty eyes and a wicked grin. "How about you sneak down here once your mom's asleep?"

"You are naughty," Haley said, unable to help herself from getting caught up in the sexual tension. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and embraced the butterflies swarming around in her stomach.

Nathan moved his thumb in slow circles over the spot of her tattoo. "Am I turning you on?"

Haley's knees buckled and she pushed into him. "You stop that," she weakly protested as she straightened up slightly.

Nathan smirked. Conflict surged through him as he tried to decide between throwing fuel onto the fire or simmering it down to a slow burn. With Quinn and Paul's voices coming from the living room, he decided it had to be the latter. He moved his hand up to her cheek and ran his hand through her long hair. "Are you sure you don't want to be beside me tonight? I think we could pull it off."

Haley immediately tensed up and took a step back. She ran a hand through her hair and sighed. "Nathan, please don't start. Isn't it enough that I came here?"

"It is," Nathan said quickly. "And meeting my mom is huge-"

"Oh God!" Haley exclaimed as a tidal wave of stress hit her. "I need to take a shower." She looked around with disgust at his sleeping location—and inevitably hers. "That pull out is so old."

Just then Lydia brushed in with an armful of sheets and pillows. "Actually, I just got a new mattress for it. Getting reading for a full house at Thanksgiving."

Haley took that as another dig. "I'm heading for the shower." She made a hasty exit before her mother could respond.

Lydia looked like she was about to fall over, so Nathan took the pillows from her and she sank into the couch. "She's pretty upset with me."

"No," Nathan said as he took a seat next to her. "She's just….stressed."

"Haley was born stressed."

"Mrs. James," Nathan said earnestly, "I know you're worried that Haley is going to get hurt, but I want you to know that we're actually pretty good right now and I'll do whatever it takes to stay that way."

"I'm not worried you're going to hurt her," Lydia said with dismay. "I just need to know you're going to be there for her—even if she tries to push you away."

"You don't think she's tried that yet?" Nathan chuckled. "Been there, done that. I've passed that test."

"Well, you may need to pass it again," Lydia said cryptically.

Nathan shifted uneasily. "Why? Is something going on."

Lydia reached over and put her hand over his. "I just know my daughter—better than she thinks….and I want to be sure that she doesn't let what you two have slip through her fingers." Lydia put the sheets down next to her and turned to face Nathan. "And I want to be sure that you tell each other how you feel. There's no need to hold back. Life is too short."

"She knows how I feel."

"Does she?" Lydia questioned him. "Because you can never tell her enough. She needs to hear it. You need to say the words—over and over again."

Nathan knitted his eyebrows and stared at Lydia unsure what she was getting at.

"I guess this is more about Haley and me, than you and her." Lydia fell back against the couch, closed her eyes for a second, then reopened them. "I have regrets, Nathan and I guess I don't want you to have any either."

"About Haley?"

"About Haley. I didn't want her to move to Texas. I knew she was running from her problems. She was so different before she did that."

Nathan was captivated. He could never get sick of hearing about Haley before they met. "How?"

"Well," Lydia said perking up, "she used to go on and on about getting married and having a big family when she grew up."

"Really?"

"This obsession with her career only started after she moved to Texas. It kind of started when she entered high school, where she focused on her grades. She put all her energy into that. I knew it was a mistake—I didn't want her to move and neither did Jimmy—but I told him she was old enough to make her own decision. Boy I had to convince him. I told him," Lydia said with smile of remembrance, "that if we didn't she'd go anyway, drop out of school, turn to a life of prostitution and end up smoking crack and sleeping in the gutter."

"Haley?" Nathan laughed.

"I might have a tendency to lay it on a little thick at times," Lydia laughed.

"Just a little…"

"So he agreed," Lydia said regretfully. "It was a mistake. I wish had told her. I should have told her that I wanted her to stay. I should have told her how much I needed her. Things-things would be different, I know they would."

"Or maybe you were right," Nathan countered. "Haley doesn't regret moving…and she likes the person she is. Maybe this was all supposed to happen like this."

"But we lost so much time together," Lydia said stoically as she looked across the room into empty space. She suddenly snapped back to attention, startling Nathan. "Jimmy. She lost so much time with her father. She'll never get those years back. You can't tell me she doesn't regret that."

"No, but is there any point in thinking about that kind of thing? If there's one thing Haley's taught me, it's not to live in the past—or the future. We can only live in the moment. That's what we're doing now, but I promise you, no matter what, I'm going to be in Haley's future."

Lydia leaned towards him, put both hands on the side of his face and beamed. She then pulled him towards her and kissed each of his cheeks. "That is just what I wanted to hear." She reached over grabbed the sheets and put them on Nathan's lap. "Here. You take care of this. I'm going to go lie down."

"Sure," Nathan said as he stood up with the sheets in hand.

Lydia stood up and pointed at him. "Just remember—Haley needs to hear that sort of thing as much as possible. Don't ever be afraid to tell her how you feel."

Nathan nodded. "She's got me pretty good at talking about my feelings."

Lydia winked and smiled. She turned to leave the room.

"Mrs. James?" Nathan called after her. "Maybe you could take some of your own advice? And you know—talk to Haley?" He asked gingerly. Nathan saw a trace of sadness in her eyes before she looked down.

"I will. I just want you two to enjoy your big night first. You've earned it." Lydia cleared her throat and then scurried off.

Nathan knew there was more going on here than Lydia let on. Apparently the mother and daughter had a lot of deep issues to work through—more than he ever imagined.

* * *

><p>Haley was never a nail-biter, yet as she sat in the fancy restaurant with Nathan and his mom, she fought every urge not to put her fingers to her mouth. Instead, she held her hands in her lap, squeezing them together until they were pink.<p>

Deb wasn't what she expected. Her short blonde hair was styled perfectly, falling just past her chin. Her nails were manicured, matching the exact shade of her pink lipstick. She wore a classy sleeveless black dress with high heels. Her neckline dipped a little too low for Haley's taste, but otherwise, she was very well-put together.

Nathan reached over and put his hand on Haley's leg. "You okay?"

Haley gave him a superficial smile, but quickly relaxed. She knew there wasn't any reason to be intimidated by Nathan's mom. It was more that she had never had dinner with a parent of someone she was in a relationship with. It was the experience that was intimidating. "Fine."

"I think it's cold in here," Deb piped in. "It must be cold at the beach house too….Unless you turned the heat back on?"

"No. It's still closed up—for now. I was there earlier." Nathan watched his mother so he could read her reaction as he relayed the next piece of news. "I'm selling the house, Mom. Earlier today I met an agent there and we're going to put it on the market soon."

Deb nodded, taking the news with great stride while Haley's eyes widened in surprise. The waiter arrived with their bottle of wine and poured them each a glass.

"Well, I don't blame you for wanting to shake this town. It has too many haunting memories," Deb lamented as she sipped her wine.

Haley watched Nathan with great interest. Did he feel the same way?

"I want a clean break from Dad—"

"Honestly, I understand completely. Smart move, Nathan," Deb said proudly. She paused as the waiter placed a basket of steaming hot rolls in front of her. She took one, placed in on her plate and passed the basket to Haley. "So, Haley, Nathan tells me you're studying to be a psychiatrist."

"Psychologist," Nathan corrected her. "There's a difference."

"Yes," Haley said as passed the basket of rolls to Nathan. "I'm hoping to finish up within the next two years."

"Hmmm," Deb said picking up her glass. "Two years. Then what?"

Haley looked at Nathan unsure how to respond. "I'm not exactly sure. I'm still trying to figure out if I want to counsel or do field work—"

"Hmph," Deb scoffed.

Haley, who had been about to butter her roll, put down her knife, stopped talking and again looked nervously at Nathan. He looked furious.

Deb was unaffected as she finished buttering her roll. "I just thought for someone who has such strong career aspirations, that you would know exactly what you want to do."

"I do," Haley said confidently. "My specialty is in in Autism Spectrum Disorder. I want help children and their families deal with that. There are so many directions to go in that I just have to narrow it down."

"Haley is amazing working with kids," Nathan said. "Her nephew—"

"So you like children?" Deb asked, accusatorily.

Haley began to get a sinking feeling in her chest. What exactly had Nathan told her? "Very much so."

"Mom," Nathan said severely.

"What?" Deb asked defensively. "I didn't realize that her job involved children."

"Not all of it, but my research does," Haley explained. "I work with this little boy that has autism—Nathan has actually met him and he's so good with him," she gushed, "and that's really the best part of job—working with him."

Deb set down her glass and looked directly at Haley. "I just don't understand."

"Drop it, Mom," Nathan gritted out through his clenched teeth.

"I just want what's the best for you," Deb said indignantly.

"I know what's best for me!" Nathan said angrily.

"Love blinds you, honey." Deb looked apologetically at Haley. "I'm sure you're a very nice girl, but I don't see how two people with such high career ambitions can build a life together."

"This is about _my career_?" Haley asked looking from Deb to Nathan.

"It's about sacrificing for the person you love."

Nathan shook his head in disgust. He moved his napkin from his lap to his plate as his appetite vanished. "You're in no place to dole out relationship advice, Mom."

"See that's the point," Deb argued. "I do know what's it like—just not with the person you think. With your father-at first I did sacrifice—I sacrificed myself by trying to play a part that just wasn't me. No matter how hard I tried, I could not be the person you father wanted me to be. So eventually," she sighed regretfully turning her head downward, " I stopped trying. But I learned my lesson," Deb said lifting her head up and looking at both of them. The next time I fell in love, it was with a man who had different life goals than me. I was ready to travel. I wanted my freedom. Antwon wanted to settle down—get married—have children. I already had those life experiences. Since I loved him—_really loved him_," she emphasized looking at Haley, "I owed it to him to move on and let him find someone else who could share his dreams."

Nathan raised his voice, garnering a few curious glances from other patrons. "I'm living my dream!—"

"You say that now," Deb said leaning forward and lowering her voice, "but I see the change in you. Now that you have your career, you'll dreams will change. You deserve to have a family, Nathan—and the only way that's going to work is if you find someone who can put you first and support your career."

"That's it. I won't sit here and let you talk to us that way." Nathan reached for Haley's hand, clasped it in his, and stood up, taking her with him. "We're done here."

A concerned waiter came over and Nathan thrust some cash into his hand and led Haley out of the restaurant.

"I can't believe her!" Nathan fumed as they exited the doors.

"What is wrong with our mothers? Why can't they just let us be?" Haley had second thoughts as they reached the car. "Wait. Nathan, maybe you should go back in there? Talk to her. Running away isn't going to solve anything."

Nathan stopped in front of the car and looked at the door to the restaurant, then back to Haley. "I won't let her treat you that way."

Haley reached for Nathan's arm and directed his attention back to her. "Nathan, remember when you didn't like your mom seeing Skills?"

"This is nothing like that!"

"But you told her how you felt, right? She's doing the same thing. It's better to have a parent that cares enough to do that than one that indifferent."

"But in front of you?"

"That was…uncomfortable," Haley admitted. "But she's here, right? She's trying to come back into your life. That has to mean something?" She looked up and noticed Deb standing outside the front door of the restaurant. "Just talk to her. Tell her how you feel."

"You mean that you're my future?" Nathan asked seriously. "I was trying to protect you, Hales. There were some things you wanted to keep between us. I promised you…"

Haley nodded understanding he was not just talking about the nature of their relationship. He was also referring to her growing desires to settle down—someday. "Just tell her what I told my mom—that it's really _our_ business and the best thing she can do support us as _we_ figure things out for _ourselves_." Her face suddenly brightened as an idea hit her—a distraction, really. "You said your mom has experience in charity work, right? How about you ask her to help you set up your foundation?"

Nathan knew his mother would love that. The only thing that got her through her marriage to his father was her charity work. "Sold." Nathan put his arm around Haley's shoulder and pushed her body next to his as they headed towards his mother. "You're amazing, you know that?"

"It never hurts to hear it," Haley gushed as she leaned into him, warmed by both his words and touch.

* * *

><p>In comparison to the start of the dinner, the rest of Haley's time with Deb went well. Upon their return to their table, Haley took a lengthy trip to the ladies room, allowing Nathan plenty of time to smooth things over with his mother. When she returned, Deb apologized. Haley sensed it wasn't the sincerest apology, but she accepted it so they could move on. The rest of dinner conversation focused on the possibilities for Nathan's foundation. Deb was excited about the idea of helping Nathan out, which further eased the tension at the table.<p>

Now at the gym, Haley was grateful to be sitting with her family—and away from Deb. Haley's seats were mixed in the crowd, towards the front of the center court. Deb and Nathan were seated with Whitey, towards the front of the gym, in the first row for easy access to the podium.

The ceremony kicked off the evening. The current Raven's coach gave a rousing introduction for Whitey, who in turn introduced Nathan.

Everyone stood and watched as Nathan's jersey was carefully hung alongside Whitey's. Lastly, it was time for Nathan to say a few words before the charity game got underway.

Nathan adjusted the microphone and looked out at the crowd. For a moment, his nerves got the best of him. Even though he was used to being the center of attention on the court, this was different. Then he realized this was the place to get his start public speaking. This was his hometown—the people who had seen him at his worst—they deserved to see him at his best as well.

"Um, Ah, I'm not really good at making speeches. First I need to thank my coach—Coach Whitey Durham," Nathan looked over his shoulder and made eye contact with Whitey, "you'll always be my coach. You were probably the first person that ever gave me a second chance. You made a difference in my life, both on and off the court. Thank you for that. I also need to thank my teammates for putting up with me and giving me so many years I'll always remember. Next, I need to thank my family. My mother, who is here with me tonight and my brother Lucas, who couldn't make it tonight but will be back in Tree Hill soon enough. I also need to thank all of you—for standing behind me. It's made a difference—_trust me_. Being here tonight with all of you reminds me that Tree Hill is my home. Now that I've traveled across the country, I'm more certain of that than ever. It's the place I want to be able to call home again. It's the place I want to buy a house of my own in and settle down."

Nathan paused as the crowd broke out into applause. He looked around, and took it all in. The people cheering him on seemed genuinely happy. Happy for him to live there? The idea of that decision creating such positive feeling in so many people was unfathomable. Who knew people cared so much about him!

With only a vague idea of where Haley and her family were seated, he looked off in that direction. All he saw was a sea of faces, but knowing she was there was enough to give him the courage he needed. "Lastly, I like to thank a special woman that's here tonight. She helped me overcome my deepest fears and insecurities."

Haley breathed in deeply and held her breath. She was forced to exhale when her mother tugged on her elbow. Haley looked at her mother and noticed that Lydia's eyes were brimming with tears. She couldn't help getting caught up those emotions and feeling the same thing. At that moment, she didn't care that Nathan was speaking publically about their relationship. Instead, anticipation took over. She linked arms with her mother. They shared a wide smile and looked back towards Nathan.

"She's inspired me through her strength and courage. Her wisdom has guided me to be the best athlete—and person, I can be…" At that moment, Nathan locked eyes with Haley. He was quickly distracted as a few flashes from cameras went off throughout the gymnasium. He then saw the various cellphones held up, presumably recording his speech. He cleared his throat and regrouped. "…and she's welcomed me into her home and family. Mrs. James, thank you for hosting me during my trip home. You've done more for me than you could ever realize."

As the crowd erupted into a final burst of applause, Haley and Lydia turned and faced each other. They jumped up and down in excitement, then wrapped their arms around each other tightly.

When they broke apart, Lydia's eyes were wild with happiness. "You know, he was talking about—"

"Mom," Haley interrupted. "What he said was perfect. He loves you."

"He loves—"

"Mom!" As she looked in her mother's eyes she felt a sudden urgency to let her mother know how she felt. Their recent fights seemed so silly all of a sudden. "We both love you," Haley said tearfully, her heart overflowing with joy. "So much."

The crowd settled down, took their seats and the game began. It was a shorter game than usual—just two quarters, but even that was too long for Haley's liking. Unlike earlier, she hated the distance between Nathan and her. She tried not to watch him, but couldn't help it. Her eyes just naturally darted over to him. The more she watched him, the more she fidgeted.

She needed to be by his side. As soon as possible. Preferably alone.

Those two quarters seemed to drag on forever. Then, much to her chagrin, a table was put out. Two chairs were lined up behind it. A photographer moved his equipment in front of the table. Nathan took his seat in one of the chairs and a slew of Sharpies were placed in front of him.

A line formed. A very line long; mostly children, but also some giddy teenage girls and young women. Most of them were clutching their programs or some other type of memorabilia. Their intention was clear—to get Nathan's autograph, and with a donation, a photograph.

Haley watched for a few minutes, then had to stop. It was the girls that bothered Haley the most. She was jealous. Couldn't even deny it.

She tried to focus on her mother and sister's conversation, but couldn't. She started looking around for her brother, but he was nowhere in sight. During the process, she made eye contact with Whitey. He smiled so warmly at her that she thought he was looking at someone else. Then, to her surprise, he began walking towards them.

"Well, well, well. Isn't it the James Clan? How many you have here tonight?" Whitey asked as he stopped in front of them.

"Just half of them, but that's three more than usual," Lydia beamed. "Paul is around somewhere."

"I had no idea that you were so close with Nathan." Whitey's eyes immediately settled on Haley.

"Haley's friends with Lucas," Quinn offered up. "But she transferred during her junior year to a school in Texas, where Vivian lives."

"I remember Vivian," Whitey said, still eyeing Haley.

"You probably don't remember me," Haley said as she nervously fidgeted. "I'm—"

"Haley James," Whitey said proudly. "First seat, third row. I never forget a student. You were a notetaker. Wrote down every word I said. Kinda made me self-conscious," he said with a sly smile.

"Me? I made you self-conscious?" Haley said pointing at herself, then him.

Whitey laughed and pointed his finger back at Haley. "You reminded me of your sister, Vivian."

"You're not the first person to say that," Quinn said.

"And how are you, Quinn?" Whitey asked.

"Excellent," Quinn gushed. "I'm happy to be back in town. Last night we were in Charlotte for Nathan's game, but there's nothing like being back in Tree Hill. I didn't realize how much I missed the place."

Haley smiled as she looked around the gymnasium. For the first time in her life, she wished she'd spent more time there. "Me either."

* * *

><p>After all the autographs were signed, Haley finally was able to get some alone time with Nathan. She had to withstand a few glares from some girls who stayed until the very end, but Haley didn't care. Tonight, she was content to play the role Deb hinted at during dinner—the dutiful girlfriend, there only to support her man. She even let Nathan hold her hand on the way out of the gym to the parking lot.<p>

They drove around town for a while, each sharing in some memories from their childhood. Eventually, they stopped along the Riverwalk, and ended up on the rooftop of the former Karen's Café, where Haley showed Nathan the predictions she and Lucas made and hid in one of the loose bricks. Lastly, they ended their tour with a stop at the River Court.

The last time Haley was there was when Lucas and Nathan played a game of one-on-one after Lucas joined the Ravens. Lucas won the challenge, which was when Haley realized that things were about to change.

With Lucas on the team, he gained a new group of friends. Haley never imagined she could be part of that group and didn't want to stick around to find out. She convinced herself that Vivian and Michael need her more than her family—or Lucas did.

Now the truth was clear. There was someone else who needed her. The other Scott with the blue eyes. The one with dark hair and dazzling smile. As she watched that game at the River Court, she'd seen through his cocky exterior. She knew there was a world of hurt underneath that façade. How could there not be growing up with Dan Scott as your father?

Had that been one of the things that made her run? Was she scared to find out? If she had waited just a little longer, given it just a little bit of a chance, she would have been bound to cross paths with Nathan. Then she would have been in an impossible place—choosing between Lucas and Nathan. Would she have run then? Avoided making that choice?

As they left the River Court that night, Haley knew Nathan needed her know more than ever, and she wasn't going to run away again.

Those thoughts were clouded as they pulled up in front the beach house. Unlike the one in L.A., this one was part of row of houses on a crowded street. It was like all other houses, and although growing up this type of house awed her, she liked Nathan's house in L.A. better. The L.A. house was unique and private, and most likely an attempt for Nathan to distance himself from this house of bad memories. Still, the "For Sale" sign propped up against the house was a mark of confusion after his speech. It wasn't put up, but it was there nonetheless.

"So you are selling the place?" Haley asked as they got out of the car.

"Yeah," Nathan sighed.

"But you want to live in Tree Hill?"

Nathan paused and carefully thought over his words. He had this vision in his mind—a home for him and Haley—but didn't want to pressure her. "I'm selling this place so I can buy a new one. A fresh start. Something with my own money. But in Tree Hill."

"Oh," Haley said quietly. "Another beach house?" She asked curiously.

"No. Uh," Nathan stammered, "I was thinking more….along the lines of…." He took a deep breath as he decided to be honest. "…something like your mom's place."

"My mom's place?" Haley asked with surprise. Instantaneously, she was filled with anxiety. He wanted a family home. It was back to that again.

Haley's eyes betrayed her and Nathan read her mind. "Probably not soon though," he said dismissively. "It may take a while to sell this place. I just thought since I was in town, I might as well get the ball rolling."

"Oh," Haley said unconvincingly. Off in the distance, she could hear the waves crashing against the shore. Push and pull. Back and forth. Push and pull. Constantly. It never ended. Today, it sounded so tiresome.

"You okay?" Nathan asked as they stopped at the door.

"Yeah. Fine."

Nathan opened the door. "Just you, me and the darkness, Hales."

Haley carefully stepped inside and squinted. Unfamiliar with the layout, she gingerly took a few steps forward. "It's _very_ dark."

"Here," Nathan said handing her the flashlight. "I have a lantern in the kitchen and some candles, somewhere." He took off towards the kitchen and Haley began to poke around.

With all of the furniture covered with blankets, there really wasn't much to see. So she made her way to the back of the house, where there was moonlight shining in the glass sliding doors leading out to a porch.

After fumbling with the locks, she squeaked the doors opened and headed outside. From her vantage point, it was hard to see the shoreline, so she walked down the porch steps onto a wooden walkway that led to the beach. She stopped halfway down, set the flashlight down and rested her arms on the railing and looked out at the beach. She closed her eyes as wind swept across her face and breathed in the salt air, hoping for the calmness she always got from the beach to fill her senses.

After lighting up the house enough so Haley could take a proper tour, Nathan headed outside to find her. When he spotted her, his heart started to pick up speed. Even with her back towards him, she was a stunning beauty. Her hair, with its long soft curls, was blowing in the wind. The moonlight lit up the loose black dress she was still wearing from dinner. It stopped just at her knees, highlighting her silky smooth legs.

The slow fire that had started to build the moment he saw her leaning against his car that morning, neared its boiling point. Maybe they didn't have to rush back to her mom's.

As he got closer to her, he saw that her eyes were closed. He noticed the tension in her shoulders. Just as he reached her, she shivered. "You cold?"

Haley shivered a second time, but this time because of the husky sound of Nathan's voice. The heat radiated from his body to hers, warming her from the cool breeze. Despite her protests, Nathan took off his suitcoat and slid it over her shoulders. She gave him a smiled filled with gratitude and they shared a peck on the lips. Haley then turned back around and resumed studying the ocean. She focused on the touch of Nathan's hands around her waist and hoped to feel the serenity of the beach. She quickly realized any calm feelings were only attributed to Nathan. She began to feel disappointment when a strong gust of air swept over them.

At the same time, both she and Nathan spoke.

"I think a storm's moving in," Haley declared.

"I love it when it's like this," Nathan said gripping her closer to him.

Nathan looked up at the sky. "I guess it will probably rain. But rain is good, right?"

She knew he was thinking about their kiss in the rain in Texas, but things were different now. Change was in the air. Somehow, she just knew it…and there was no going back. Things were never going to be the same. One moment went by and then it was gone, never to be reclaimed. Life was going by so fast. The changes just kept rolling in like those waves.

"Hales?"

Haley slowly turned around to face him. She quickly got caught up in the sexual tension between him. It had been building all night. "I'm trying so hard just to be in the moment."

Nathan fingered a few strands of her hair and nodded. "I know you are." He sighed heavily and shook his head with regret. "I'm sorry I keep putting pressure on you."

"You're not—"

"But I am. Look, things changed for me today. I realized—I realized that I've been testing you."

Haley cocked her head in confusion.

"It's like I wasn't secure in our relationship. I needed you to be here with me—after I saw my dad. I tried to get you to move in with me. I wanted to meet your sister in Texas. I even knew how important it was to meet your mom when she was in L.A….but I'm done with that. I get that you're there for me—and just knowing that means I'm going to let you do your thing."

"What does that mean?"

"It means, that you," Nathan said moving his hands back down to her waist and tugging it towards him, "are going to put yourself first—and focus on your career. No more looking after me, flying out to see me or coming to my games—"

"But what if I want to go to your games!" Haley protested with a wide smile.

"Well," Nathan shrugged, "if you want to…but the important thing is to know I don't _need_ you to come." He straightened up and looked out at the ocean, then back at Haley. "I feel amazing, Hales. This is the best I've ever felt. Everything is coming into place. And tonight was probably the best night of my life."

"Really?" Haley began toying with his tie as she looked over his upper body. "Better than when you won States?"

"You weren't there."

"Okay," Haley continued. "Better than your first game?"

"This was different. Being in Tree Hill—with you—it's better than all that."

Haley read the sincerity in his eyes. She subconsciously moved her fingers from his tie to the buttons of his shirt and slowly began to undo them. "I was thinking…How about we stay here tonight?"

"Here?" Nathan looked back at the beach house and could see the flicker of a few of the candles he'd lit. "There is a fireplace in the living room."

"Perfect!" Haley exclaimed bouncing up and down on her toes. "We can sleep there. How romantic!"

"What about your mom?"

"Are you kidding me? She's so thrilled about your speech, she's not going to care if we stay out all night." Haley saw that Nathan was still unconvinced. "But I'll give her a call," she conceded. She turned on her heels and headed back towards the house.

"It's cold in there," he warned.

"You'll keep me warm," Haley said, flashing him a grin over her shoulder.

* * *

><p>While Nathan got the firing going, Haley gathered up all the blankets and pillows she could find. She set up a makeshift bed in front of the fireplace, then grabbed one of Nathan's old t-shirts.<p>

Hunched down by the fireplace, Nathan threw some old papers, mostly junk mail, on the fire and used the poker to push it towards the flame. The fire crackled and soared and he set the poker down. He slowly stood up and stared at Haley as she bounced into the room.

Haley became self-conscious as Nathan's eyes remained glue to her. He had shed his shirt and was just wearing his dress pants and undershirt. She held up the t-shirt to her body and saw it came just past her thigh. "It's okay if I use this, right?"

Nathan took the shirt from her hands, rolled it up into a ball and tossed it across the room. "You don't need that."

"Nathan! I'm going to get cold!"

Nathan moved to her backside and pushed her hair to one side. He began gently kissing the side of her neck as he unzipped her dress. "I'm going to keep you warm, remember?" He whispered into her ear.

"It's working," Haley said with her eyes closed. She opened them when he spun her around so she was facing him. His eyes were filled with lust as he slowly slid her dress of her shoulders and down her body. Wearing only a black lace-trimmed bodice, stepped out from her dress and kicked it away. "Your turn."

Nathan kept his eyes fixed on Haley, with smirk, as he undid his belt buckle, threw it in the same direction of his shirt, then pushed down his pants. He mimicked her movements of kicking the pants aside.

Haley swiftly stepped in and pulled his shirt up over his head. "If I don't get a shirt, neither do you."

Nathan finished taking the shirt off, crumpled it into a ball and tossed it. It landed it the same spot as the other shirt. "Score."

Haley wrapped her hands around his neck. "You like to score?"

"Especially with you." Nathan ran his hand down her smooth back and let them land on her ass.

"I'm glad we did this," Haley said as she snuggled her head into his chest. "I couldn't wait until my mom fell asleep."

"I can't wait any longer." Nathan scooped her up and she put her legs around his waist. He gently lowered himself to his knees and carefully set her down on the spread of blankets and pillows. He moved over her, shifting his weight to his side. Nathan studied her, with the same intense look in his eyes he had all night.

As she started to become full with heavy emotion, Haley pulled at the back of his head and captured his lips in a searing kiss.

As their kiss deepened, wildfire spread through Nathan's body. He fumbled with his hands to push down Haley's bodice, when he realized there was a zipper on the side. He started to unzip it, then pulled away, in an effort to slow things down. Despite what his body was telling him, there was no need to rush things. They had all night. He looked at her again, trying to savor the moment as best he could.

After a few seconds of silence, Haley looked at him with wide, serious eyes. "What?"

Nathan struggled with how to express the severity of his emotions. "You're my family now. You are only true thing I have. I never want to lose you."

"You won't." Haley looked into Nathan's piercing blue eyes and knew there was more going on inside him. "What?"

The words were on the tip of his tongue. He closed his eyes and pushed them away. "Nothing."

Haley knew whatever he was about to say was something that could break his promise not to pressure her. He was holding back, for her benefit. She cupped his cheek and softly kissed his lips. "Thank you….for being exactly what I need right now."

"Always."

* * *

><p><em>She was underwater again. The rain was pounding down so hard, she couldn't see the top of the water. How far under was she? Should she even bother trying to reach the top? <em>

_A realization hit. She couldn't breathe. She needed air. She had no choice but to get to the top. She had to live._

_Haley swam as hard as she could. She burst through the water and was pelted with the warm rain. She embraced it, soaking it in. She looked around, wiping away the hair from her eyes. No one was around. She was out there alone. In the rain. _

_She had done it. She could breathe. She wasn't drowning anymore. She had saved herself._

_It felt so good_.

* * *

><p>Haley woke up, crazed with energy. She straight up and examined her soundings. The storm had hit and rain was pelting on the roof, with the soft sounds of thunder heading their way. Now away from Nathan's scorching hot body, she realized how hot she was. Her body was damp with sweat. A bolt of lightning flashed, illuminating the room momentarily. Haley jumped up from the makeshift bed and went and found Nathan's old t-shirt. She cast it over her body and headed for the porch. She couldn't explain her intense desire to head out into that storm. It was calling out to her in the same fashion the beach used to.<p>

A series of roaring thunder woke Nathan from his sound slumber. His heart started beating rapidly as he realized Haley was gone. "Haley! Haley!"

He did a quick scan of the room, followed by running around the house, shouting out for her. "Haley! Haley!"

Along the way, his fears intensified and he grabbed a bat. He slowed down his movements and went slowly from room to room. After he saw that all the bathrooms were empty, his racing mind told him to check outside. He ran back down to the living room and out to the porch. He could make out the hint of blur out on the walkway to the beach. He opened up the door and called out to her, but it was no use. She couldn't hear him.

Nathan cast the bat aside, put on his boxers and grabbed a blanket. He ran outside, calling out to her, his voice competing with the height of the storm. "Haley! God, Haley!"

Haley finally turned to face him when he got closer to her. She was drenched to the core with a blank expression on her face. His heart skipped a beat but quickly recovered as a beaming smile lit up her face.

"What?" Nathan asked hopelessly confused.

"The storm!" Haley exclaimed. She looked around, her face filled with awe. "It's beautiful." She grabbed his hand and pulled him to her side and looked out at the beach. The lightning was bouncing off the water like fireworks.

Nathan could not put aside his concern for her. "Hales, you're soaked." He put the blanket over her shoulders, despite the fact it was now wet as well.

Haley turned towards him and wrapped her arms around his waist, wrapping the blanket around both of them. As their bodies touched, she shivered as a jolt ran through her body.

"And cold," Nathan added.

"No," Haley disagreed as her body finally relaxed. She let out a sigh of contentment once she felt his breath land on her forehead. "You keep me warm."

Nathan pulled her in close, and tilted her chin up at him. He spoke quietly, leaning in to her, so she could hear his words and read his lips. "You're crazy."

Haley laughed wildly. Despite their closeness, she shouted out the words, as if she wanted all the surrounding elements of nature to hear her. "I'm so in love with you! You've helped me become so much more than I ever imagined!"

Another stretch of thunder set in, forcing Nathan to raise his voice. "Yeah, I've helped you become a stormchaser! Seriously, Hales! This is crazy!"

Haley leaned on the tip of her toes and seized his lips in a fiery kiss that silenced him. She drew him into her body and let the excitement that filled her flow into him. When he kissed her passionately back, her knees buckled and she leaned into him.

Nathan felt the shift in her body and quickly lifted her up. She wrapped her legs around his waist and they fell back against the railings, letting the blanket drop. They were in their own little word out there. The lightning continued to electrify the ocean, mimicking the sexual tension between them. The thunder roared through the air but didn't distract them from each other.

It was Haley that finally pulled away, as the hidden meaning in her earlier dream became apparent. She stilled her movements and tried to look in Nathan's eyes. She brushed away the water from his face and held his cheeks in her hands as he continued to hold her up. "You helped me save myself. I could only do it because I knew you were there. You give me strength and courage to come out in the storm."

Nathan just looked at her and let the words sink in. In the just matter of few hours, that far-off look in her eyes had disappeared. Despite what she said, he couldn't give himself credit for it. If anything, he was convinced that he had figured out how Haley worked. It was just like her mother said. She always needed just a little time on her own to work things out.

Haley bit her lip, looked down, then looked back up at him. She was at her most vulnerable. She had reached down into her emotional core. And he was still there. Strong as ever. Supporting her. Giving her what she needed; physically and emotionally. "I need you," Haley said, this time quietly. "Don't ever believe me, when I tell you I don't. Don't let me push you away."

"I'm not going anywhere," Nathan said firmly. He reinforced his grip on her and let her feel his strength. "You know that, right?"

Haley solemnly nodded. "I do."

* * *

><p>The tears were coming down so furiously that Haley had trouble seeing clearly. She cursed as she scrolled right past the number she wanted. "Damn!"<p>

She scrolled back up the list, past Nathan, who was currently enroute to Atlanta. She also continued up the alphabet, also not selecting Peyton or Lucas—they both were too close to Nathan. She settled in on the one person she felt she could trust. Someone who could be objective and supportive. All the things she needed right now.

Brooke answered after a few rings. She didn't give Haley a chance to speak. Haley began to question her choice in a confidante.

"Haley! I was just about to call you! I need to fit you for the bridesmaid dresses for the wedding. Are you free today?"

Haley closed her eyes tight and tried to garner all the strength she could. "I'm in—in Tree Hill." Her voice cracked halfway through, betraying her.

"Haley, what's wrong?" Brooke asked anxiously.

"Brooke-I-" Haley lost her resolve and broke down into tears.

"Oh, Tutor Girl! What's wrong? Is it Nathan? Is he okay?"

"He's on his way to Atlanta. You can't tell him, Brooke. Or Luke or Peyton. Promise me. Promise," Haley pleaded.

"I promise," Brooke said sincerely. "What is it? Do I need to come there?"

"It's bad. My whole world is falling apart." Haley stopped as she was overcome with tears.

"Okay, that's it. I'm coming to Tree Hill," Brooke said firmly.

"Brooke," Haley began to argue. In the end, she didn't have the fight in her to do it. "Thank you."

"Just hang in there. I'll call you from the airport," Brooke promised.

"Okay," Haley said weakly. She hung up the phone and began to take deep breaths.

She stopped when her phone started ringing, sounding off the all too familiar lyrics.

"_Girl, look at that body….Girl, look at that body…I work out_!"

Before it could get to the chorus, Haley sent the call to voicemail. For the first time hearing that ringtone, she didn't crack a smile.

No, Nathan couldn't save her this time. She wouldn't let him. She had to save herself. He had given her the confidence to do just that. It was time to stand on her own.

* * *

><p>Preview for next chapter: "A Sorta Fairytale" Tori Amos<p>

AN: Not one of my best chapters, but there is a great deal of symbolism. It's definitely a turning point in the story (finally!). At some point, there will probably be a flashback from this trip that pops up later. You'll need it! In the next chapter, you will find out what has Haley so upset. Any guesses? Is it very obvious? I'd love to hear your thoughts.

I'm so excited to hear some people are still reading! It gave me the mental boost I needed to make the transition into the next part of the story. You have no idea how much I needed that. Thank you so very much!


	46. Chapter 46

**Disclaimer #1**: Characters, minor plot points and dialogue belong to CW/WB, Mark Schwahn and _One Tree Hill_ writers.

**Disclaimer #2**: Although my career is in the field of psychology, I have taken a lot of liberties with my story. My background is nothing like Haley's in this story. Her story only has _a little_ basis in reality. I know many people in that field who have given me inspiration for details here and there, but this situation is entirely fictional. Please don't take what you read as fact, especially when it comes to the research discussed and ethics of practicing psychology. As with all my stories, you have to use the suspension of disbelief, just as you do with our favorite tv show. The examples in this story are merely for plot purposes. If you do have questions or concerns about the psychological elements of the story, please feel free to **pm me**. I'd love to discuss! If you simply leave me an anonymous review, I can't respond and clear up any confusion, such as the point of view and plot of the story. So please, get in touch **directly**!

Chapter 46: "A Sorta Fairytale" Tori Amos

When Haley saw Brooke's red convertible pulling up to curb, she dragged her suitcase over to the car. The top was down, so she plopped it right into the backseat and hopped in the passenger's seat. She tried to make the obligatory hug with Brooke quick, but had trouble getting out of her tight grip. "Brooke, really. I'm fine."

Brooke pulled back, lowered her sunglasses and looked Haley over. She sighed disapprovingly, pushed her sunglasses back on and put the car into drive.

Haley knew the reason for Brooke's disappointment. She chose to ignore it and settled in to enjoy the sunny California weather, which was in sharp contrast to the cold front that had settled in North Carolina. It felt so good to have the warm wind blowing through her hair. For a minute, she could pretend like she didn't have a care in the world.

Except Brooke was talking- talking about things Haley didn't want to think about.

Haley continued to look out the window, working hard to block her out. It became impossible when the car slowed down at a stoplight and the peripheral noises quieted down.

"Haley!"

"I couldn't hear you," Haley quietly fibbed.

Brooke slammed her finger on a button on the dashboard. A second later the hood of the car went up. "There," she said with a mixture of frustration and satisfaction. "Nice and quiet now."

Haley rolled her eyes and sighed. "What were you saying?"

"You still haven't told Nathan."

"So?" Haley shrugged.

"He needs to know, Haley."

"And he will find out" It was evitable, but so far things were going pretty well considering her secretive inner turmoil. "I just want to prolong it as long as possible. You know what this is going to do to him. You know what it's doing to me. Can you blame me for wanting to spare him?"

"How does he _not_ know? Where does he think you've been?" Brooke asked, incredulously.

"For a while he knew I was in Tree Hill," Haley explained, "spending time with my mom. Then with the family for Thanksgiving. Now….It's just worked out so that he's been mostly on the road and he thinks I've been working a lot and going to Stanford for meetings."

"So you lied?"

"I let him believe what he wanted," Haley sighed. "He's come to terms with my work and is fine with letting me have space. It couldn't have come at a better time because I really need to figure things out."

"I just worry," Brooke said, chewing on her lip. "This is not healthy for your relationship."

"It's what I need right now. Once I let Nathan in—it's going to change _everything_."

"When are planning on tell him?" Brooke asked.

"I have to do it by my birthday."

"That's a week from today?"

Haley nodded. "He has the day off. He'll expect to spend it with me and I won't be around. Quinn is meeting me Friday in Charlotte for a doctor's appointment on Saturday."

"Saturday?"

"These kinds of doctors don't have 9-5 schedules," Haley said. "Anyway, I'm planning on spending the whole weekend there, along with my birthday. Which reminds me, can you pick me up on the morning of the 13th ? I want to be back for my Tuesday appointment with Matthew."

"Haley, you know I'm here for you, but by that point, Nathan will know. He'll probably want to pick you up, don't you think?"

"I guess." In truth, Haley hadn't really processed what it would be like when Nathan knew. It created a sense of dread that tensed up her entire body and made her mouth go dry.

Things were so much easier right now. She had everything under control….and there was always that doctor's appointment. The outcome could turn everything around. Maybe if she just held out until then…

"Promise me you're going to tell him," Brooke said sternly.

"I will," Haley said defensively. But deep down she hoped by the time she had to tell him, she would have news of relief to share. "Now can you put the hood back down? I need all the vitamin D I can get these days and I'm sick of being as white as a ghost."

* * *

><p>"Oh Nathan," Haley groaned as she leaned into his warm body and musky scent. Warmth and security ran from her fingertips down to her toes. "You feel so good."<p>

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah." With her eyes still closed, she reached up for the side of his head.

Nathan had to move quickly before she poked him in the eye. "Watch out there!"

"Oh Nathan," Haley laughed. "I love dreaming of you."

"Well I like making your dreams come true, Angel," Nathan whispered in her ear.

With the tickle of air in her ear, Haley picked her head up. She looked at Nathan with squinty eyes. "You're not really here."

"Did you finish off that bottle of Schnapps' last night?"

Haley grabbed the sides of Nathan's face and tugged at him. "Nathan!"

"Haley-I'm not the o-one sleeping!" He laughed.

Without missing a beat, Haley pulled him in for a hard kiss on the lips. "What are you doing here?" She asked breathlessly.

"If you let go of me, maybe I can talk." Haley let go of his face, but grabbed his arm.

She had been like this over the past few weeks, even when they weren't in bed, touching him as much as possible. Then, when they did hit the sheets, she clung to him as if she were afraid he was going to disappear. Nathan chalked it up to not spending so much time together lately. "I guess management was too cheap to pay for our hotel so they flew us back tonight. I went to my place first. You didn't sleep there while I was gone?"

"No," Haley said looking away briefly, "but I'm happy you're here."

It gave Nathan an unsettling feeling. She hadn't spent a single night there without him since she came back to Tree Hill. Was this in reaction to his offer to move in? He pushed the thought aside since Haley was clearly happy to see him; that was the most important thing in the end. "I'm happy too. Look, I have double practices tomorrow, but I'm off when you visit Matthew. Can I tag along?"

"Depends. How do you feel about going to the movies? If you come, Linda can get a break."

"A movie sounds great. You may have to keep me from falling asleep though."

"Oh no worries there," Haley chuckled. "Matthew won't let you sleep."

"Then I bet get my beauty sleep now."

When Nathan went to settle down, Haley fixed his arm so it was resting over her stomach. She tried to feel contentment from his presence, but as the seconds ticked by, her mind wandered. Anticipation and anxiety fired off nerves in her stomach. She knew the only way to settle things was to tell him her secret. Maybe it was time to finally tell him. "Nathan?"

"Yeah?"

She couldn't do it. Not yet. She wasn't ready to become the girl undone. She wanted an objective visit with Matthew; with nothing to cloud her—or Nathan's mind. "Maybe we could have a special dinner tomorrow night? After your second practice?"

"You have time for that?" Nathan yawned.

"I'll make time," Haley yawned.

"Great. A pre-birthday celebration." Nathan tugged at her body and felt her squirm. He opened his eyes and looked at her curiously.

"Sorry," Haley apologized. "I just got the chills."

Nathan reached down below and pulled the covers up over them. "There. You good?"

"Yes," Haley whispered, her words barely audible to conceal the blatant lie.

* * *

><p>After practice wrapped up, Nathan stayed behind to work one-on-one with Nino. Over the past ten games, the guys had become an N.B.A. sensation. The two men had found a groove and were on par to break records with combined assists and points. Thanks to the media frenzy, home games were sold out. All of this just motivated the two men to work harder. They put in longer hours than anyone else on the team in order to refine their skills.<p>

The only downside of things was the press. Nathan could escape the ever-growing hoards of groupies, but his responsibilities on the team involved some media coverage. One of the things he hated the most was when they stopped him at half-time for an interview, which took his attention away from prepping for the second half of the game. He really hated the business part of the game but it came with the territory. It seemed to incite the fans and Nathan loved the attention he got from the home crowds.

Just as he and Nino were about to get started on testing out some new strategies, Tony flagged him down. He joined him courtside. "What's up?"

"Uh, well," Tony said, shifting nervously. "I just got a call from _People_ magazine. They wanted a quote."

Nathan's inside began to churn. He held on tighter to the ball tucked in his arm for focus. "About me?"

"I guess," Tony paused and snickered as he scratched his chin. "You're one of the 'Most Eligible Bachelors'."

The basketball dropped out from under Nathan's arms. "What?"

Nathan pulled on Tony's elbow and even though no one was nearby, pushed him to a more secluded spot. "What did you tell them?"

Tony jerked free from Nathan's grip and glared at him. "Jesus Christ, Nate! What the hell! I just told them you weren't really a ladies man—that basketball was your game."

Nathan shook his head in relief. "Sorry."

"You're still seeing the girl? Is that what you're worried about?"

"Yeah, but it's not what you think." Feeling very guilty over lashing out, Nathan felt he owed to him to explain a little further. "She's not cheating. She's single, but I don't want the media knowing about her. Her work is—sensitive," he said vaguely.

"What is she with the CIA?" Tony laughed. When Nathan glared at him, he straightened back up. "I got it," he nodded. "Well, I covered for you, but watch out. After this issue comes out, everyone is going to be asking about your love life."

"Right. You know what? I think I'm going to call my agent. Get his advice." Nathan patted Tony on the back. "Thanks for the heads up."

"Sure thing. Hey Nate?" Tony asked with a wicked smile. "She worth it? All this trouble?"

Nathan couldn't suppress his smile as he thought about all the hot sex they'd been having "What do you think?"

"Right," Tony laughed. "Just remember what I told you—the game changes everything."

* * *

><p>Nathan came home much later than Haley expected. While waiting, she had taken her carefully prepared meal out of the oven several times, only to put it back in to stop it from getting cold. When he did finally stroll in, he was oblivious to the time. She didn't fault him for it. He was used to coming home to find her working, so what was the rush? Well, tonight her nerves were so rattled, she couldn't focus on work. She was dying to get the secret out. It made the wait almost unbearable.<p>

Within a few minutes of his arrival, it was apparent it was going to be difficult to work it into the conversation. Nathan had so much to talk about. At the top of the list was this _People_ magazine thing. Although he acted like it was a major inconvenience, Haley knew his ego loved it. He relayed Clay's stern warning about the importance of keeping his relationship with Haley quiet. Clay had actually used the term "backburner" but Nathan assured Haley it was only for appearances sake. In fact, Nathan didn't seem too worried about it since Haley was so busy these days anyway. It left room for a lot of excitement about his success on the team. For the rest of the evening, Nathan talked mostly about basketball, as well as about Matthew and their movie date.

All in all, it was a pretty nice evening. They ate out on the patio, with the salty warm breeze floating through the air. It was so easy to get caught up in this lifestyle. To her, it was surreal considering what was really going on. To him—it was a blissful reality—_heaven_. He actually used that word as they watched the sunset. _Heaven_. She didn't want to think about heaven.

So in the end, Haley didn't have in heart to sabotage Nathan—and that's exactly what it would have appeared like to him. She'd kept the secret too long. It was now going to cause angst in their relationship when it was revealed. She didn't have it in her to fight with him, not now. She needed all her strength to get through the doctor's appointment.

Haley kept her emotions in check as long as she could. The knots wound tighter and tighter until she felt like she was going to explode. Things finally did explode—between the two of them, just after dessert. They didn't even make it up to the bedroom. Haley felt slightly guilty for using sex to distract Nathan, but he didn't seem to mind. He was just so happy these days. She loved nothing more than seeing that foolish grin on his face, especially moments of passion.

When they finally made it to the bedroom, it didn't take long for things to heat up again. Haley took charge, desperate once again to feel connected to Nathan. It was all about the connection. She couldn't connect emotionally with him because of the secret, so she needed to do it this way.

Haley watched him as she straddled him. His eyes were squinted tight and lips curled up, revealing his utter contentment. The only movement from him was his fingers. Those long, calloused fingers ran up and down the sides of her body, but always found their way back to her tattoo. He really, _really_ loved that tattoo and touched it as much as possible. Although she loved watching him in such a pleasurable state, it wasn't enough for her. She need more. She knew that she could switch gears from slow and methodical to fast and furious, but they'd done enough of that lately—and each time it was a quick fix. Once the passion subsided, she was still left with that hollow feeling in the center of her heart.

Haley lowered herself over him and brought her lips to his. She seized him in a passionate kiss and was overwhelmed as he kissed her back. His hands moved up to the sides of her face and she felt like he was holding her—cradling her face—filling her with love and warmth.

When they broke, she saw a flutter of confusion in his eyes. It was then she felt the tears slipping out the corner of her eyes, betraying her resolve to stay strong.

"What, baby?" Nathan asked gently, thumbing away her tears.

"I need you so much," she whispered.

"I'm here, Hales. Right here," he responded without hesitation.

Knowing that was true and really wanting to live the present, Haley's mind recovered quickly. "I need to know," she said with a slow smile as she moved her hands on top of his broad shoulders, "that you are _all mine_."

Nathan picked up her quick change of emotions. She really was all over the place lately. Vulnerable one minute and frisky the next. Right now, she was both. He figured if she needed reassurance, in a playful way, he could give her that. He pretended to look around the room. "Is there anyone else around? Or wait," he said sitting up, taking her with him, "did you set up the webcam? Am I on camera?"

Haley rolled her eyes, but also laughed. "No!"

"Then why," he asked as he wrapped his arms around her, "would you think you have anyone else to compete with? It's only you, Hales. Just you. Is it because of this stupid magazine?"

Haley wasn't jealous of the attention he was going to be getting from that magazine but it was yet another reason to continue to hide their relationship, which honestly was the last thing wanted to do at the moment. What she really wanted, now more than ever, was to be able to walk down a crowded street hand-in-hand with the man she loved. Was that too much to ask?

With their careers, _yes_. But with the secret with Haley was keeping from him? _Impossible._

"Remember how I told you how it was okay to flirt with other girls?" Haley put her lips to his ear and whispered, "It's not anymore."

"That's too bad," Nathan said, feigning serious disappointment. "But I can still get physical with them, right?"

"No!" Haley said pushing his chin away.

"Only you?"

"Don't tease me!" She buried herself in his body, resting her head in the crux of his neck. She breathed in his scent, something she swore she could never get sick of.

"Fine." Nathan patted the back of her head, smoothing out her ruffled hair. "I'll just talk to them."

"No," Haley pouted, not bothering to look up at him.

"No? Yeah, I guess I would be leading them on…Maybe I'll take one of them to the movies. That would really throw her off...Make her think she was something special."

Haley lifted her head and moved back in front of him, eye-to-eye. "You wouldn't dare…"

Nathan held her gaze and let his hands fall down her back and rested them on her tattoo. "And even though she'll tell me she doesn't want any candy, I'll get some Goobers and let her eat all of them."

Haley's face lit up at the reference. "I didn't eat them all!"

"Don't lie," Nathan scoffed. "I had the empty box on my feet to prove it."

Haley laughed because that part was true. "I saved you some, but they must have fallen out."

"And the popcorn?"

"Matthew finished the rest. Besides," she said eyeing his well-defined abs, "you need to stay in shape."

Nathan countered her move by running his hands all over her curves. "And you are perfect just the way you are."

Haley's heart began to race and she tried to hide her reddening cheeks.

"Are you serious?" Nathan asked with concern. "Come on, Hales. You know how I feel about you! You are the only girl I want to be with, talk to, go to the movies with, make love to. Only you," he repeated softly.

"Only me," Haley happily cooed.

He was so in love with her. Nathan worried anyone who saw them together had to see that. "Is this going to be too much to hide?"

"No, no," Haley quickly assured him. "We'll worry about that later. Let's just keep living in the moment….and uh, I have an idea." She moved off of him and to his side. She twisted around so he could see her full backside. "You really like my tattoo, huh?"

Nathan bent down and kissed the blue twenty-three. " 'Like' isn't the word."

"Then I want you to be able to see it." She turned towards him and pulled him up to her back and moved his hands to her hips. "Like this."

"Haley," Nathan said hesitantly.

Haley could feel his full arousal on her lower back and knew he just needed a little prodding. She briefly turned around and looked at him with pleading eyes. "I want this. I want to do something new with you-only you."

Despite the desperation running throughout his body, Nathan had to ask, "Why? Why now?"

Haley turned her head over her shoulder but kept the rest of her body facing away, letting him know she was still firm in her decision. She needed to feel something new, something completely different, something that would take her mind off of the trouble brewing in her future. Connecting with Nathan was the best way to accomplish that goal. "Because we only live once and I don't want to waste any more time holding back." She kissed him softly and deeply, then licked her lips and smiled. "Only you, Nathan."

Haley twisted around and she felt Nathan's lips on the base of her neck. His chest pressed up against her back and he moved his hands up the front side of her body to her breasts. She closed her eyes and let the passion takeover. It was exactly what she needed. A completely new experience. With the man she loved. Her _always_. Her _forever._

Whether it would be another quick fix or something that could give her enough strength to make it through Saturday's doctor's appointment would remain to be seen.

* * *

><p>"Nathan! Nathan!"<p>

"Go away," Nathan grumbled. He turned on his side, away from the voice. He felt a hand pushing on his shoulder and finally jerked up with anger. "What?"

Standing across from the bed, Lucas crossed his arms and glared at him. "Don't you think it's about time to get up?"

Nathan started to check the time then stopped. "What are you? My mother? I can sleep however late I want! It's a game night!"

Lucas shook his head in dismay. "Is that all you can think about? Basketball? God, Nate. What about Haley?"

Nathan sat up and ran his fingers through his hair. Damn Clay! He must have called Lucas and told him about the magazine article. Leave it to his brother to drive down to his house simply to ream him out again for hiding their relationship. When was he going to accept it for what it was? One thing was for sure-Nathan had nothing to be defensive about. Lucas simply had to get over it. "What about Haley?" He asked nonchalantly.

"What about Haley?" Lucas repeated furiously. He nodded his head over his shoulder, in the direction of the bathroom. "I know she was here last night. Her toothbrush was wet."

"You checked her toothbrush? How fucked up is that?"

"I'm sick of you covering for her! _I know_, Nathan," Lucas said lowering his voice.

A tight rumbling formed in the pit of Nathan's stomach. "Covering?" He asked weakly. Suddenly he flew up and out of bed. "Oh shit. Oh shit. This is not about the magazine is it?"

"What magazine?"

"The Most Eligible Bachelor shit. It kinda changes the game," Nathan said shaking his head in frustration. He slowly sat back down on the bed, put his head in his hands for a brief second, then picked it back up. There was only one thing he could think of that Haley would hide from him—her worst fear. "You know what, it's fine. This is fine. We'll figure it all out," he said looking at his brother. "This explains why Haley's been freaking out. I swear, I didn't know Luke—not until now."

"I believe you," Lucas sighed heavily. "So what are you going now?"

Nathan got up from the bed and headed to the bathroom. His head was spinning and he hoped a nice, hot shower could clear his head. "Take a shower."

"Nate!"

"What?" Nathan snapped. He flew back around, now furious with Lucas for bursting in like this. Just like their mothers, Lucas acted like he knew what was best for the two of them. "This is none of your business!"

"None of my business?" Lucas balked.

"No!" Nathan had the sudden urge to pick up something and throw it at his younger brother, but he caught himself. He took a deep breath and took another step closer to the bathroom. "I know you're trying to help, but I have this under control."

"So what are you going to do?" Lucas asked again.

"She'll tell me when she's ready." Nathan went into the bathroom and prepared to shut the door. "Seriously, Luke, thanks for the heads up, but—"

"Nate, I'm not sure you realize how serious this is. By the time she's ready to tell you—" Lucas paused and looked down at his feet. "She could be gone."

"No, I know Haley. She just needs time—Wait, how did you find out?" Nathan asked taking a step towards Lucas.

"Brooke. She drove her to the airport this morning. Peyton called—"

"What do you mean to the airport? Haley's at work." Nathan side stepped Lucas and grabbed his phone off the night stand. He saw a text message from Haley and was filled with relief. He held the phone up for his brother to see. "Actually she had to go to Stanford for the weekend. She'll be back on her birthday. That's perfect because I have a photoshoot tomorrow night, then we're in San Antonio—"

"She's lying," Lucas said firmly. "She's in the air right now. On her way to Tree Hill."

"No," Nathan said in disbelief. "Why would-No, no. She wouldn't do that. She'd talk to me first before making any decisions." His voice became increasingly loud as panic hit him. He walked towards the sliding doors, but when he saw the beach, he could only think of Haley. "She knows how I feel. She knows I want a family. She knows I would support her. She has to know that, Luke! What did she tell Brooke?" He shouted, pointing his finger at Lucas. "What did Brooke tell her? Did Brooke tell her I wouldn't want the baby? No! Even if she did, Haley knows-"

"Whoa," Lucas flinched and held his hands up. "Is Haley pregnant? Is that what you're covering?"

Nathan's eyes widened in horror. "I'm not covering. I just figured-What are you talking about Luke? What has she been hiding from me?"

"It's her mom," Lucas said calmly. "She has cancer….and she's dying." He reached over and put his hand on Nathan's shoulder. "I'm sorry, Nate, but Lydia is not going to make it. In fact, I don't think she has much longer."

* * *

><p>Preview of next chapter: "Goodbye Alice in Wonderland" (Jewel)<p>

AN: So there it is…..One twist. This is the one you could see coming (albeit with some red herrings). It's a game-changer, folks. Let me know what you think! I can give you a sneak peek of you want ; )

I loved hearing back from so many of you! I especially want to thank those that don't have FF accounts since I can't PM you. Some of you regularly review and it means so much to me. Your reviews give me that warm, fuzzy feeling inside that brightens up my day. Thanks so very much!


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